


Echoes

by Khadrimx



Category: Iron Man - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Adventure, Angst, Anxiety, Blood, Conspiracy, Danger, Drama, Espionage, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Heartache, Heterosexual Sex, Humor, Illness, Medical Trauma, Near Death, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Romance, Tony Stark Has Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Tony Stark Still Has Arc Reactor, Trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-12
Updated: 2016-09-16
Packaged: 2018-03-22 11:08:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 52
Words: 276,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3726478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Khadrimx/pseuds/Khadrimx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony Stark is struggling. He's not the man he used to be. After the Battle for New York, things changed. For the first time in his life, he's scared. Relationship on the rocks, business fading from the limelight, Tony's life is upside down. The only thing he can focus on is keeping the people he loves safe. Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist, Tony Stark has found himself in the dark. But in the darkness there is light, even if he struggles to find it.<br/>Scarlett Damien is a media darling. Head of the newly founded developmental corporation, Refuge, she's filled with mystery and intrigue. There's more to her than what means the eye. She harbors a dark secret. Teaming up with SHIELD agents, she finds herself caught in Tony Stark's path. In a desperate attempt to save herself she just may save him too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. All Is Not As It Seems

Pepper Potts woke up alone. 

This came as no surprise to her. But the big bed she slept in somehow felt cold and lonely anyway. Though she had moved in with her boyfriend only a few months prior they had barely spent a month’s worth of nights sharing the same bed before things had changed drastically. Or at least the change _seemed_ drastic to her. Seeing very little point of lazing around Pepper got up and began her daily routine; showering, primping, preparing for her day spent as far away from the Malibu Mansion as she could get. 

The Malibu home was extravagant and one she had been long familiar with. Sleek, modern, open-concept, and filled with the most brilliant technology available, most people couldn’t have asked for more. But the mansion perched on the side of the cliff overlooking the ocean had become a place of sadness as of late. Pepper avoided it now, like the plague. It had nothing to do with the house itself. No, the house was gorgeous. 

Over the short time she’d lived there the walls had filled with tension and anger. Instead of finding resolution, Pepper chose to avoid it. When she left the bedroom and walked down the hall past exquisite artwork she’d procured over the years the house remained silent. It had once been filled with warmth, but never while _she_ lived there. She walked into the living room and expected to see her boyfriend asleep on the couch, where he customarily wound up resting each night.

But he was nowhere to be found.

Her nerves officially at their very end, Pepper pulled her reddish-blond hair back into a ponytail leaving only her bangs framing her freckled face. She muttered a few angry words beneath her breath, words she’d never be able to say to _his_ face and probably didn’t really mean. As she was ready to walk out the front door she realized that it had been left wide open. At first she was afraid there had been an intruder. That was until she realized what was keeping the door open. There was a bulky pile of wires strewn across the floor leading through the foyer, past hallways and the extensive living room then finally down into the basement where she knew her boyfriend would be at the other end of them.

Tony Stark was far more than extraordinary in many ways, but he was a below average boyfriend at least in Virginia “Pepper” Potts’ opinion. 

_Ignore it,_ she thought. _Just keep walking. Go about your day. Don’t let it bother you._

But she knew she couldn’t. Against her better judgment she walked down the floating stone steps and at the bottom accessed a glass security panel near the door. Her hand stopped over the keypad upon discovering that a massive hole had been created in the concrete nearby and the wires that she had followed were shoved through it haphazardly. There were remnants of concrete dust all over the floor below. Her blue eyes narrowed and grayed with anger, Pepper finished dialing in the code hastily and waited impatiently for the door to open.

“Tony!” Pepper hollered but received no response. At the far end of the extensive room hidden beneath the mansion she could see the very man she’d called for but his back was turned to her. Blueprints hung in the air around him framed in holographic blue light. The entire house was wired up to a sophisticated computer system. This computer, known as Jarvis, was responsible for the holographic blueprints as well as the security system, cooking, cleaning, and nearly anything else they desired. Jarvis was the ultimate butler. Tony had spent his time creating beautiful technology like the kind floating around him since his youth. He’d broken nearly every record when it came to genius level intellect and had gone on to graduate from MIT before most students were preparing to apply for the same school.

Since then Tony had taken over his father’s company, Stark Industries, obtained multiple doctorates, led the way for weapons development and technology and changed the world with his energy research. But a few years prior something changed Tony’s life forever. It made him even more extraordinary. 

He’d nearly died. 

Terrorists attacked and kidnapped him during a demonstration using his company’s weapons. One in particular had exploded and nearly killed him. The shrapnel would’ve destroyed his heart but he was saved by the very people who had been hired to kill him. Or at least they were responsible for the capture of the man who had saved him. Tony had been taken captive and held for ransom by terrorists in Afghanistan but he hadn’t been alone. Another scientist had been held captive. This man had managed to rig up a small electromagnet that could fit inside Tony’s chest and keep the shrapnel from reaching his heart and killing him.

That seemed ages ago now.

As Pepper approached cautiously she could see the glow of the reactor through Tony’s black muscle shirt. He seemed to be in his own world, blissfully unaware of anything around him. What he was up to, she had no idea. In fact, she didn’t care. This often happened these days; it was nothing new to Pepper. Tony spent so much time locked away by himself that he would sometimes forget what it was like to deal with other people. The man who had once been the most notorious people person on the planet had become a recluse.

Each time Pepper saw that blue light she felt a sting in her chest. What it was from these days she wasn’t sure. Was she angry that he had the arc reactor powering the electromagnet there? She wasn’t angry that it was keeping him alive but rather that it powered the machines that framed the room. At one time there had only been seven armored suits but Pepper could’ve sworn there were at least thirty now. And of course, Tony was working on yet _another_ one. The suits were what made Tony even more extraordinary than he already was.

Tony Stark was the so-called “super hero” known as Iron Man. 

Pepper had never liked the term super hero. In fact, she thought what Tony did was just plain reckless. And yet there he was, cooped up in the corner of his basement, having created a gaping hole in the wall to throw wires through, working on more super hero suits. The wires were plugged into a machine that was thrown together at the last minute. Some pieces were even held together with a few belts and duct tape. This machine was creating some kind of levitation or force that Pepper didn’t understand but it was holding up pieces of what she was _sure_ was another suit.

“Tony.” Pepper grabbed his shoulder and forced him to look at her when he didn’t bother to acknowledge her even though she was sure he must have heard her. She was tired of being ignored, tired of finding their house in shambles, and tired of having to deal with what seemed like a temper tantrum from a grown adult every time they spoke. 

“Oh, hey!” Tony offered a weary smile but judging by the bags under his brown eyes it was clear that he hadn’t been sleeping again. It was more often than Tony wanted to admit that he couldn’t find rest. Tony could tell Pepper wasn’t happy with him and with that in mind he tried to appear as friendly as possible. She didn’t seem to approve of anything he did these days but it wasn’t for lack of trying. They simply couldn’t figure out how to communicate anymore. Then again they hadn’t communicated very well when she’d been his assistant for years either. Only now he _had_ to listen to her. 

Everything Tony did seemed to set his girlfriend off. It was funny, Tony sometimes forgot she was his girlfriend. She’d been his assistant much longer than his girlfriend. Romance had sparked between the two after the incident that had made him the super hero he now was. Part of him knew the romance had blossomed due to his fear of death. At the time he’d hoped it would be more than that. Now he was beginning to see that wasn’t possible. “Here, look, before you get mad at me…”

“It’s far too late for that.”

“What did I do now? You just got down here!”

“How about spending all night putting holes in our walls? Did you even _try_ to sleep? What about work, Tony? Hmm? What about your _company_?” There was a time where Pepper had been CEO of Stark Industries but she had never been _really_ qualified for the position. She had assisted Tony with the job for years and she was certainly an intelligent and powerful woman, but she simply _wasn’t_ Tony Stark. No one could replace him and the job had proven to be too much. Thankfully Tony had been more than willing to take the position from her once she’d formally resigned. 

Except the past few months Pepper had to fill the void that Tony had left behind once again as head of the company. She’d become acting CEO of Stark Industries in his absence, taking things to him in private since he refused to appear in public. Often he made appointments and never showed due to lack of sleep or disinterest.

“But do you see this _thing_ I built? I have to replace the cookware from upstairs though. I _may_ have welded it in here. The copper core was just what I needed to boost the voltage.” Tony pointed to what was clearly a pot handle sticking out of the back end of the machine that was holding up his suit. Pepper didn’t have to say anything for Tony to be able to tell she was not amused. “Look it’s, in short, an anti-gravity device.” Pepper seemed skeptical despite the pieces that were floating right in front of her as proof. “Last night I had a revelation… about how to create a pocket in existing space similar to a vacuum that would give me the ability to manipulate the gravity within this pocket. You see I control it with… You don’t care, do you?” Tony’s smile faded and the light in his eyes disappeared along with it.

“You’re building more gadgets and toys when you should be getting real work done.”

“It’s Saturday.” Tony whined and pouted but it had no effect on his girlfriend. He thought he was pretty cute, so why didn’t it get him any leeway? It never really had with Pepper though.

“Yes, it’s Saturday. We should go out and _do_ something. Get out of the house! Go do anything besides this. If you’re not going to go to work on something _important_ then we should get out. Take me out, Tony. I need to get out of this house other than for work!” Pepper pled with him. Watching Tony’s excitement fade made her feel guilty but it had happened often enough that she was growing numb to it.

“First of all, this _is_ work, even if you don’t see that it is.” Tony pointed to the machine but then waved around him. The schematics he’d been tinkering with when she’d arrived disappeared. A dull hum faded into a whine then completely dissipated as the anti-gravity machine turned off. The pieces of the suit clattered to the ground noisily into a heap. Tony found his heart racing in his ears after Pepper’s suggestion. 

He didn’t _like_ going out. He couldn’t control what happened in the outside world. Every time he’d even considered going out these days for more than a few moments he’d found his heart rate elevated. It was puzzling. He was pretty in shape, as far as he thought.

“Stop tinkering and come have lunch with me.” Pepper hoped that getting Tony out of the house to see the real world would break him of the strange habits he’d developed over the past few months. They hadn’t gone on a date since before they’d returned to Malibu. Pepper was growing tired of waiting for Tony to be attentive but Tony was growing tired of having to cater to her when she didn’t extend him the same courtesy. All in all, even if Tony did go out with Pepper that afternoon neither was sure it would aid them in the least. Pepper wanted Tony to be something he wasn’t. “The press is dying to get a glimpse of you. It’ll be fun.”

For a few precious moments Tony considered actually putting his things away, getting showered and dressed and going out with Pepper simply to humor her. But even as he turned the idea over in his mind things spiraled quickly out of control. The world outside of his basement was dangerous, far more than he had ever imagined. His hands grew cold and clammy. He couldn’t leave there until it was safe, until he was sure that _they_ would be safe. Pepper didn’t seem to share these concerns and Tony had never understood why. Maybe she didn’t see the evil in the world, in the universe, the way that he did. Or maybe she didn’t care.

“I have too much to do here.” Tony nodded to the machine. He was only half lying about that. “This is a huge discovery, I have to tinker with the technology and see if I can make a clean design that doesn’t involve pots and pans. What about tomorrow?”

“I don’t _care_ about the suits!”

“It’s not a suit! I told you it’s an anti-gravity machine! Maybe you need your ears checked, Pepper…” Tony attempted a joke but it was completely lost on the fiery red-head who was now also red in the face. 

“I don’t care about that either!” She snapped and pointed a severe finger at him. He leaned away from it comically. “You don’t come to bed…”

“You kicked me out of bed, to be fair.” Tony’s smile faded.

“You don’t come to work.”

“It’s _my_ company I can work from _wherever_ I want.”

“There is no arguing with you!” Pepper stamped her foot. This wasn’t the first time they’d argued over these same topics and the arguments had always ended the same way. “I’m going out with or without you! If you would rather stay down here with these toys than go out with me then fine. I don’t care. Do whatever you like, that’s what you always do anyway. I’ll just hang out with _Happy_.” Pepper turned and stormed off, secretly hoping that he would follow her and apologize. 

But Tony didn’t do that. He watched Pepper walk away and through the door then up the stairs and out of sight. When she left he turned to face the machine he’d been proud of only an hour before. Instead of switching it back on and getting back to work, Tony turned away from it. He walked across the long office that served as a garage and personal laboratory for his experiments. His feet didn’t feel like his own, they dragged across the concrete.

Sitting behind the round custom desk that was both sleek and modern at the end of the room Tony grabbed the stress ball that laid on his desk. It had been a gift from his best friend, James Rhodes as a joke. Now as Tony squeezed the life out of it, he thought it might have been the best gift he’d ever gotten.

“That’s all _you_ do, anyway.” Tony muttered as he considered that Pepper would once again be going out to lunch with his long time driver who had once served as a bodyguard. Happy Hogan was an ex-boxer and a good man but lately Tony had seen very little of him. They’d used to spend their free time together goofing off, getting into trouble, and going on adventures of their own but recently Happy had been at Pepper’s side at every opportunity. Tony knew he should’ve been jealous of their bond but for some reason he _wasn’t._

In fact, all Tony could think about was that he wished things could go back to the way they had been before he’d started dating Pepper. It wasn’t that dating her had been all bad or that he didn’t like her. It was that things hadn’t meshed the way he’d imagined they would. He missed the Pepper Potts who was his friend and assistant. He missed the driver who sent him stupid cat pictures in his email. Ever since they’d returned to Malibu from Manhattan both of those people had disappeared. 

But how could they ever be like that again? Certainly if Tony broke it off Pepper would become another red ex on his list. He’d have to replace his assistant and his friend and he wasn’t sure how to begin that process. She’d been his assistant for so long he had forgotten how hard it would be to train another. Plus there was part of him that was scared to lose Pepper forever. It was one of the longest running relationships he’d ever been in. For years he’d had a well founded reputation for being a little bit of a player. Maybe it wasn’t as much a little reputation as it was notoriety. Besides that, how could he trust anyone else?

If he gave up on what he had with Pepper it would be another failure and he wasn’t sure he could go back to being the cold hearted flirt that he used to be. Tony was still a flirt, but he wasn’t after instant gratification anymore. His life had changed when he’d become Iron Man. He was certain that if he suggested to Pepper that she move out and they go back to how things were that she would be less than receptive. But she didn’t seem to like being _with_ him either. He wasn’t sure how to fix the problem. Either way he seemed to lose.

There had been a time where things weren’t as bad as they were now, even after they’d move back to Malibu. Tony had slept in the same bed as Pepper, they’d still go out to dinner, and had civil conversations. Shortly after their return Tony began having night terrors. He’d wake up thrashing or yelling about something or another. Pepper had been woken up by him on multiple occasions over and over again. She had eventually sent him to sleep on the couch downstairs despite his obvious distress. At the time he hadn’t been bothered by being kicked out because he wasn’t sure he wouldn’t have done the same to her. But as the events repeated and became more frequent, Tony resented that he’d been kicked out of his own room.

Tony had even tried to express what was happening while he slept and after he got up. He couldn’t control the fact that he was having these nightmares! He’d tried. The only way he could think to avoid them was to avoid the act that brought them on and that meant _no sleeping_. Even Tony Stark couldn’t devise a way to live without sleep and not for lack of trying. The human body required a reset every day. He didn’t necessarily like it, but that’s how things were.

Pepper didn’t care that he was having nightmares. She said everyone had nightmares! It wasn’t _her_ fault, so why was she suffering because of them? In a way, Tony understood that line of thinking, but at the same time he wasn’t _trying_ to make her suffer. He was struggling. No, Tony had only wanted her to understand what was happening to him. He hadn’t even expected her to help him. He’d only been trying to explain his actions in hopes she would be less angry about things beyond his control. Instead she’d treated him like he’d been making excuses. When she’d shut down his attempts to talk about the growing problem, Tony became discouraged by talking altogether.

What was the point if it yielded no results? It only served to make him feel more pathetic. On top of that, when Pepper saw that he was struggling to sleep, struggling to go to work, struggling to get out of the house, she did nothing! It was obvious, even to the press, that something was very wrong with Tony Stark. So why couldn’t the woman who lived with him see it? Maybe it wasn’t her responsibility to point out that he was having a hard time. Or maybe she thought that he wouldn’t let her help him even if she had tried and found the effort not worth the result.

But wasn’t that part of the responsibilities of being in a relationship? 

Tony was new to the long term dating scene but he was ninety percent sure that he was obligated to ask Pepper if something was wrong when she was upset. Even if he hadn’t answered truthfully, if she had bothered to ask him, at least it would’ve helped to know she cared. Tony had never been one to reach out for help; he’d always been far too stubborn. So when Pepper had dismissed his attempts to talk about the problems that had compounded in a short period of time, Tony had instead internalized. Tony _wanted_ to be happy again. He wanted Pepper to be happy too. He wanted that more than anything. He’d done all this for her, why couldn’t she see that? The suits were to protect what he cared about.

Those two things, their happiness, didn’t seem to coincide. Could they really be happy _together?_ They seemed to need two very different things.

He’d decided to cast aside that line of thinking. Their relationship mattered less than finding a way to overcome his newest set of problems.

He was the most brilliant mind of his generation. Tony could handle anything that came at him, even the horrors that lurked in his own thoughts. Or at least he thought he could. Sort of. The more he thought about it the more he wasn’t so sure. He’d never really failed at anything that mattered before. His fingers were tingling again and he squeezed the stress ball again. Maybe he hadn’t eaten enough.

Could he really handle _any_ of this, though? How could he tackle this problem when he wasn’t even sure what it was? Life had changed drastically and not just for him, but for the entire world. It was the first time he’d ever doubted his abilities. Over confidence had always been his greatest strength. Pepper would argue it was also his greatest weakness.

Nothing had been the same since the incident in New York six months prior. 

Tony got the chills as he thought about the chaos that haunted him and looked behind him nervously. He’d suddenly gotten the creeps and a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach as though someone were watching him. The more he thought about it the more he was certain something terrible was about to happen. Even his concrete walls couldn’t protect him from that memory. Chills ran down his spine. His palms began to sweat. Every squeak of his chair made him paranoid.

New York often had that effect on him, even just the mere mention of it. While helping S.H.I.E.L.D. locate an item from another world called the Tesseract which had been stolen by a man, a god, named Loki Tony had nearly lost his life. It wasn’t the first time that Tony had brushed up against death close enough to feel its cold breath but for some reason this instance lingered in his mind. It haunted him every time he had a quiet moment. His chest constricted and he coughed to get rid of the cling that had suddenly developed. Was it getting warmer in there or was it just him? He’d have to check the thermostat. His hands had gone completely numb. Was he trembling? Maybe it was just a plane flying too close.

Loki had been from another world himself and meant to take over the Earth with alien forces that Tony couldn’t exactly remember the name of. He’d purposely forgotten because the name made him feel ill when he said it. Tony found his hands gripping tighter at the arms of his office chair, so hard that his knuckles turned white. When S.H.I.E.L.D., the Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement, and Logistics Division, had seen the portal created by Loki and his Tesseract they had made the executive decision to fire a nuclear weapon in an attempt to close it and prevent the alien forces from invading.

Doing so would’ve annihilated the entire population of Manhattan as well as slowly killed people living miles around the blast zone. Tony couldn’t watch that happen. So in his Iron Man suit he’d grabbed hold of the weapon and guided it through the portal. But if he had let go before the weapon had hit zero gravity then it would’ve redirected back toward its intended target thanks to the very heat seeking system he’d developed years prior.

In those moments Tony had embraced death and as a result had been given a glimpse behind the proverbial curtain. What he’d seen was something he couldn’t wrap his mind around no matter how hard he tried. The strength of other worlds was far superior to that of earth and he couldn’t figure out a single way to combat it. Since then he’d spent every waking moment trying to find a way to keep himself safe as well as those that mattered to him. But the only people he could think of that mattered enough to him were now the very same people that couldn’t stand to be around him. 

“I can’t…” Tony had every intention of telling himself to get back to work and stop dwelling on the past but instead he’d muttered something he’d only thought. He _couldn’t_ think about New York. He couldn’t think about the creatures that had come to attack the earth. He couldn’t think about Loki or Gods. And he certainly couldn’t think about what his life had become since he’d cheated death a second time after falling out of the portal in a broken suit. If it hadn’t been for the other Avengers what would have happened to him? 

He’d lost control. This was his desperate attempt to regain it.

And here he was losing control again. His fingers tingled and felt foreign, numbed. They curled against his will and he saw spots in his vision. The only thing he could hear was the pounding of his heart in his ears. His thoughts raced. If he took deep breaths, he could calm down. But what if he _couldn’t?_

Climbing out of the chair in search of a glass of water Tony immediately felt his legs wobble and give out beneath him. He grabbed onto the edge of his desk desperately and balanced on his now rubbery legs. His hands that had earlier felt clammy and warm were now trembling so severely his whole body shook. His breath grew haggard and short. The more he tried to understand what was happening the worse the tightening in his chest became. Was he having a heart attack? He coughed again, in hopes of loosening the grip on his lungs. Maybe it was an allergic reaction. 

“Water…” Tony couldn’t find his water bottle anywhere. He turned frantically around in search of it. He wasn’t sure if water would help but it was worth a try. His throat felt incredibly dry, suddenly like sand paper, and it seemed the only logical thing to do. As he used the desk to guide him in case his legs gave out his desk chair swung and knocked over the very bottle he’d been looking for. What was left, which was very little, had spilled out onto the floor. “God damnit!” Tony cursed, punching hard at the desk.

The pain in his hand stung but it distracted momentarily from the chaos in his mind and the constriction in his chest. Shocks of ache reverberated all the way to his elbow. Tony slammed his fist against the desk again and then again. Then he overturned his monitor which crashed on the floor and sparked as the screen crackled. Papers flew across the room at his urging. He kicked over his chair, shoved it as far as he could, and then stumbled in place when he’d run out of things to knock over. Standing in the middle of his desk surrounded by half ruined technology and the mess he’d created Tony suddenly came to reality. 

The air was no longer choking him; the confusion no longer trapped him so violently. What had come over him?

What was happening to him? It didn’t make sense! 

Was he _that_ upset with Pepper? Tony had been much angrier about far more important things in the past and had never flown off the handle like that. Usually he’d masked his anger with humor, but not now. Instead of trying to clean up his mess Tony sat down on the floor in the center of the once round desk. Head in his still shaking hands, Tony concentrated on taking deep breaths and measured his heart rate to make sure that it wasn’t doing anything out of the ordinary. Other than being elevated Tony didn’t sense anything wrong. Was it a cardiac episode? Maybe the arc reactor was failing. 

“Jarvis, what the hell just happened?” Tony muttered. It wasn’t the first time he had been sure his heart was going to give out in weeks past. When Tony closed his eyes he saw flashes of outer space and fleets of armies filled with warriors twice his size and strength coming for him. Snapping them open he felt his heart quicken and checked his pulse again. His heart rate was higher than when he exercised.

“Your blood pressure is very high, Mr. Stark.” The charming computer answered from speakers built around the lab as if to voice his thoughts. The voice had the slightest hint of a British accent as if to mock the idea that he was an old English butler.

“But _why_?” Tony muttered.

“Scans show you are not having a heart attack. Everything appears perfectly normal.” Jarvis was quiet for a few seconds before continuing to speak. He’d been searching for conditions that matched the symptoms he’d observed in his boss. “May I suggest that you are suffering from an anxiety attack?” 

“What?” Tony’s eyes widened. “A _panic_ attack? Me? Come on Jarvis, be serious!” Tony couldn’t hear the response that came next from his computer. All he could think about was that it was possible he was having a panic attack! Tony Stark completely incapacitated and melting down in his basement because of something as _stupid_ as panic? It sounded absurd even in his head. It couldn’t be true. There was no way that Tony was having a panic attack. Panic attacks were for teenagers or socially anxious people. Tony was neither of those things. 

But what if he was wrong about that? He didn’t know anything about anxiety attacks. He didn’t know what it was like to suffer one, really. Even when he’d been in captivity he hadn’t panicked. So why was he panicking now? How pathetic had he become in order to be panicking over somewhat complex thoughts? Suddenly he wondered if maybe panic attacks were a far more serious matter than he’d once been led to believe.

The death grip returned on his chest and Tony gripped at the arc reactor that burned hot beneath his fingertips. Maybe he was overheating the electromagnet! Would that mimic the signs of a heart attack? That had to be it. It was the only explanation. There was no way he was suffering from any form of anxiety, not him. But as the sweat rolled down his face and his thoughts continued to race Tony somehow knew he was, in fact, suffering from some kind of panic attack. As much as he denied that he could possibly be panicking, he knew he was because he _had_ panicked before. After waking up from past nightmares he found that he was near tears and practically choking on his breath. Though tears had never been shed, the shame created by the fact that they _nearly_ had was enough to make the panic worsen.

Ringing suddenly filled the entire room. Tony gasped for breath when he realized he’d been holding it and blinked his eyes open. When had he closed them tight and wrapped his arms around his knees? When had he started trembling so terribly? Most importantly, where was the ringing coming from? His ears had been ringing earlier, but not quite like this.

Tony looked up when he heard a whirring and chirping nearby. A long robotic arm extended down from the cart that held the same robot’s body. It held a water bottle for Tony. The robot was the very first Tony had built in his youth, DUM-E. Most of the time it proved to do nothing but break things and fail to follow orders, but for now it had brought him the water he’d been so desperate to drink.

Tony took the bottle, stared at the robot in awe, and then took a greedy drink once he’d opened it. The ringing continued so Tony waved his hand at Jarvis above and signaled him to let the call come through. He’d finally realized that the phone was what was ringing and he wasn’t going crazy. At least not completely.

While his thoughts were still racing as quickly as his heart, Tony was grateful that the ringing had interrupted him. Whoever had called him had inadvertently managed to break the grip of panic that had overwhelmed him. As Tony’s vision came into focus, even though he hadn’t realized it had blurred until then, he saw the name tag at the top of the virtual telephone interface in front of him. Often Tony used video phone service he’d developed but a few of the people who were privileged enough to have his personal number didn’t have the luxury of video phones. 

“Tony?” Lieutenant Colonel James Rhodes of the US Military spoke from the other end of the line. Rhodey’s voice was a regular comfort in comparison to the shrill screaming of his vociferous thoughts. At first Tony couldn’t respond. His voice wouldn’t come to him. His mind couldn’t get past having been stuck in his head for so long. Eyes searching for an escape from the images that flashed in his mind, Tony was only brought to reality when Rhodey’s voice repeated again but louder and more concerned. “Tony? Is this a bad connection? Can you even have a bad connection?”

“I’m here, Rhodes.” Tony’s voice sounded scratchy, as though he’d been screaming at the top of his lungs for hours but in truth he’d barely said a word other than to Pepper. The mess around him suddenly seemed very real. When had he knocked over so many things? Had he really broken his monitor? That was an expensive and stupid thing to do. Then again, with the money Tony possessed, he could afford more than few stupid expensive mistakes.

“Tony, jesus, you scared the hell out of me.” Rhodey exhaled on the other end of the line. Had Tony really worried him that much? Guilt ripped through his stomach making him feel sick.

“Sorry.” Tony had a thousand quips prepared in his mind but all he could muster was an apology. Rhodey’s worry was palpable through the phone line, but Tony paid it no mind. How could he explain what had just happened to him in the middle of his lab when only moments ago he’d been perfectly fine? Well, maybe he hadn’t been fine but he hadn’t been having a panic attack either. If that even _was_ a panic attack. How was Tony supposed to know what was happening to him when he’d never had a panic attack before? Even thinking about it made his head hurt. He certainly wasn’t going to _ask_ anyone about it.

“ _Sorry?_ Tony, what gives? What’s wrong with you?”

“Nothing, Rhodey.” Tony finally managed to speak, clearing his throat though the cling lingered in the back of it. “What is it? What do you need? Is this about the Warmachine again? Because I thought we had already discussed how this was going to play out. If you want upgrades you have to bring it here, to me. I don’t have a contract with the US Military anymore, remember? I’m not going to sign another either so don’t start.” The words spilled out of his mouth naturally, masking the confusion in his mind and his heart.

“No, it’s not about that. I’m just checking up on you. We haven’t talked in a month and we usually talk all the time. Most of the time I can’t get you to shut up.” Rhodey began. It was true, Rhodey missed his best friend. Ever since he’d started dating Pepper, Rhodey hadn’t seen as much of Tony as he once did. He understood that there was a grace period for relationships where things were exciting and they wanted to spend all their time together but Rhodes didn’t think that was the case on this occasion. Tony had become a recluse and whenever Rhodey saw Pepper she was with Happy. Something had felt off to Rhodey ever since Tony had moved back to Malibu.

After having spent so long designing Stark Tower why did he go back to the mansion he’d decided to use as a refuge from the cold winters in New York? Not to mention Tony hadn’t been to a single party that he’d been invited to and that was more than peculiar for the notorious socialite. The final straw had been that Tony’s birthday had passed without so much as a whisper. Rumors were beginning to spread that he was sick or had gone crazy. As much as he didn’t want to believe the gossip magazines, Rhodey couldn’t help but be worried about his friend.

Plus the few times they _had_ talked, conversation had been strained and strange. When Rhodey had inquired with Pepper about his suspicions, Pepper had claimed that Tony was fine. Even then he could tell that the woman was about as sure of that as he was. It had only made Rhodey more suspicious and he had finally decided to get into contact with Tony himself. Now that he had, Rhodey’s worry only worsened.

“I lost track of time. I’m a busy guy and calendars don’t mean much to me unless Jarvis makes a big deal out of it.” Tony waved his hand but then realized there was no one who could see him. His fingers were still trembling so he watched as it shook, mesmerized by the movements. 

“Well, if you’re not too busy then you should meet me downtown for a drink.”

“It’s noon.” Tony checked the time on his phone since he no longer had his computer since the monitor lay broken on the floor. 

“And this has been a reason for you not to drink since when?” Rhodey chuckled. If he let Tony know he was too worried, it was likely he wouldn’t be able to convince him to join him. Plus, he really did want to see his friend even if he refused to discuss what worried him.

“Okay, okay but… I’ve got a lot of work to do here… I really _shouldn’t_.”

“Come on, Tony. It’ll only be a few hours and we can catch up. Work can wait. It’s Saturday.” 

“Since when can work wait?” Tony was surprised since Rhodey had usually scolded him when he’d neglected to show up on time or complete tasks when he was required to. But these days Tony had to remain busy to keep his wandering thoughts in check and often this meant spending a lot of time sitting in his basement tinkering with his technological developments. 

“Since it’s Saturday.”

Tony gazed around the basement and his stomach sank. He’d told Pepper only a short while ago that he had too much to do to leave the house but now he was seriously considering joining his friend for a drink. Undoubtedly she’d be angry at him later and argue that he didn’t want to spend time with _her_. But did Tony really care how Pepper felt about his going out with his friend? She seemed to be mad at him all the time for one thing or another anyway. At least this time she’d have a reason even if he had no intention of alienating her.

Then he felt the guilt weigh on him again. Pepper was a good woman, a strong woman, and had been loyal to him for years when no one else had stood by him. They may not have been working very well romantically together but he bore her no ill will of any kind. Surely if he could tell her that he was struggling with finding a comfort level high enough to leave the house she would understand. His laboratory was a comfort. His cars were a comfort. His suits were a comfort. These things made him feel safe. When he was with them he knew that he could protect her and he could protect himself.

As he looked around his basement a chill ran through him. What once had brought him comfort now seemed cold and unforgiving. His desk was a mess and the suits surrounding him were staring at him, judging him. The shattered monitor reminded him of the fit he’d had. He felt the panic gripping his chest again, his lungs tightening and forcing his breath to grow shorter. His heart pounded in his ears, threatening to overtake him if he didn’t get out and get fresh air. The basement was suddenly suffocating him.

“Okay, I’ll meet you downtown. Text me where and I’ll be there after I get ready.” Tony spoke all too quickly and then hung up before Rhodey could respond. He couldn’t talk to his friend in this frame of mind. Realizing he had been gripping too tightly at the water bottle his robot had brought over to him, Tony struggled to open the cap, cursing all the while. Finally with the drink free once more, he guzzled until there was nothing left.

Water wasn’t enough, he needed air.

His Malibu home was suffocating him just as Stark Tower had done before he’d finally left New York in shambles. Maybe a change of scenery, even a bar, would do him some good. Either way, he couldn’t be downstairs in his lab anymore, not today. There was no comfort to be found there, only the hard crushing reality that he was a man broken, a shell of who he once was. With any luck when he came home the feeling of hopelessness would be gone and he could again find comfort, at least for a little while.


	2. Drink to Me

“I came to the realization that instead of cramming every single one of my innovations into one overpowered Mark that I could create different Marks that served different purposes.” Tony began, stirring the ice in his rum and coke with a thin red straw. Usually he was more of a single malt scotch guy, but rum would be easier on his stomach. 

Sitting at a worn table in the far corner of a dimly lit bar Tony Stark felt much more like his usual self. There was no longer any fear gripping his lungs, no strange flashes of terrifying memories on the back of his eyelids. When he blinked now all he saw was darkness and it comforted him. Sitting across from him the handsome, dark skinned, military man with short cropped hair held his vodka and sprite listening intently. Rhodey had _always_ been an excellent listener which had been part of why he’d managed to stay friends with Tony for so long.

Tony Stark was a talker. The sound of his own voice brought him more joy than it did to most. There was nothing he could change about that. He’d spent his entire life with people hanging on his every word. Little did Tony know as he took a sip out of his simple but respectable drink, Rhodey was not only listening to him; Rhodey was judging him.

Even if Tony felt more like himself Rhodey could still tell that something was amiss. The way Tony talked about creating an army of Iron Man suits concerned him. He’d always referred to them not as a weapon but as an extension of himself. Now it seemed as though Tony was preparing an arsenal for some sort of inevitable cataclysm. What unseen enemies did Tony Stark think he had to ward off? His life had been relatively peaceful after the Battle of New York, or at least Rhodey _thought_ it had been. Then again, Tony hadn’t really talked to him much about what had happened in New York or what had happened afterward. Either way, Rhodey knew that something was up and planned to get to the bottom of it.

Even if Tony was as stubborn as a mule when it came to asking for help it didn’t mean he should go without it. Rhodey was there for him through thick and thin and this time would be no different. It might take awhile to get Tony to trust enough to talk about what had happened, but Rhodey knew better than most how to handle him. He suspected that his friend was suffering some post traumatic stress. Getting Tony to admit that wouldn’t be easy.

“There’s no need for deep sea capabilities in suits I plan on only taking into the desert. Just like there’s no need for stealth on suits designed to lift enormous weight. So I figured that if I make a variety of them for different occasions it would be handier. Plus, I could expand upon the other ideas that I have, in the past, glazed over because the technology would be too bulky for the older Marks. I would, of course, still have my multipurpose suit that I would rely on in a pinch but there would be these specialty suits for when I am purposely heading into dangerous territory.” Tony seemed proud of himself. No one listened to his advancements anymore these days and it felt good to talk about them.

“So you’ve created your own army then, hmm?” Rhodey was only half joking. There had been a time where Tony had been brought to court to address the fact that he owned unregistered weapons technology. Rhodey was worried they were going to end up in front of another judge and make more enemies with more politicians if things continued on this treacherous path. Tony had enough enemies as it was, he didn’t need any other senators with a hard on for him. 

“Not an army.” Tony quickly corrected with wide eyes. “Why does everyone always assume I’m preparing for war? I happen to be overly creative.”

“Well gee, Tony, I can’t think of a single reason why anyone would be under that impression.” Rhodey chuckled and Tony promptly rolled his eyes and tapped his fingers on the table anxiously.

“They’re more like tools, really. I’m not building bodyguards or soldiers, I’m building… well it’s kind of like a Swiss Army Knife. You know, there’s a bunch of different tools in there. You wouldn’t use a screwdriver if you had a corkscrew to open a bottle of wine, would you? Why would I use a suit with super flight capabilities when what I need to take care of is in Malibu?” Tony hoped this example would explain his line of thinking. In reality, Tony kept building suits because he hoped they would eventually make him feel safe. So far, that wasn’t working as well as he had hoped it would. When he thought he’d finally done it he’d wake up the next day in a cold sweat, lying on his lonely couch and wondering how he’d take on a new threat that had popped into his mind. It had become a vicious cycle.

“Yeah, I get it.” Rhodey placed his hand to his chin thoughtfully and watched as Tony continued on about one of his suits. He’d stopped listening. Something was still off about Tony despite his enthusiasm. He’d always bragged about his latest innovations but he’d never had to justify the means behind them before, at least not to Rhodes. 

“For my latest suit I’ve been trying to devise a new method of communication. I mean, how it comes to me that is…” Tony cleared his throat and furrowed his brow, thinking of the suit that lay in pieces in the corner of his basement. He’d been working on it when he’d come up with the idea for his anti-gravity device. “If I could summon the suit to me piece by piece then it’d be much more convenient than having to keep it close by at all times in case of emergencies.”

“Remember the days you used to go out without it entirely?” Rhodey posed the question but Tony obviously hadn’t been expecting that. He couldn’t remember the days he went out without his suit to protect him if things quickly got out of hand. It hadn’t been that long ago, it seemed, but he’d barely gone out, nonetheless without his suit, since he’d moved back to Malibu. 

“That’s what I’m trying to make happen. That thing is heavy. Life is too crazy not to have it at the ready these days.” Tony knew what Rhodey was getting at but was hoping to avoid the subject altogether if possible.

“You know that’s not what I mean, Tony. You used to leave it at home and keep it separate from your social life. You’ve become the suit, it seems. When are you going to cut the cord? We’re not at war and your enemies have stayed in the shadows for now so why do you have to bring the damn thing with you to lunch?” Rhodey nodded toward the car in the parking lot where he was sure that Tony at least had the Mark V Iron Man suit that folded up into a convenient suitcase. There was once a time where Tony wouldn’t even have considered bringing the suit with him on a quick errand.

“I’m trying to prevent the unpredictable but still live my life, Rhodey.” Tony argued.

“Are you?” Rhodey leaned his elbows on the table and Tony rolled his eyes in response.

“Of course I am.” Tony took a sip of his drink. “I’m Iron Man now, I have responsibilities. But you’re right. I don’t want to carry the suit around with me everywhere I go. I want to be able to go out with my friend and get a drink but still know that if, god forbid, something happens, I can have it with me again at a moment’s notice. It’s about responsibility, Rhodey. Don’t make it something it’s not.” Tony hoped that would keep the questions at bay. Rhodey seemed somewhat placated for the time being and nodded his head. “But enough about that. If you’re curious about what I’m working on then you should come over sometime. Take the new toys for a test drive and see if you want to update the Warmachine with anything after that. You are living and working in outdated technology my friend.”

“I’ll take you up on that sometime. Unfortunately the Warmachine is all tied up in bureaucracy. I have to approve any changes that are made and you’d likely have to reveal all your secrets before you did anything to it. Now you know why I don’t come knocking in the suit.”

“You see, this is precisely why I didn’t want to sign that contract the military offered me after the ordeal with Stane.” Tony smirked, sipping his drink and cocking an eyebrow. He surveyed the dining area of the bar. There were few other people there at this hour. A couple of pretty women sat across the way, having a few drinks and a few laughs, paying them no mind. Men were lined up at the bar to get an afternoon drink to take the edge off either after a rough day or before a rough evening. He’d never been to that particular bar before, that he could remember, but he was immediately fond of it. 

The bartender and their waiter had recognized him but hadn’t made a big deal over it. That was the way he preferred it, particularly when all he desired was to have lunch with Rhodey, not fight off a paparazzi swarm. They would surely ask him where he’d been and try to address the rumors that were swimming around in the papers because of his absence. Tony used to love reading the absurd things that were printed about him, but now he couldn’t stand it and tried to avoid it.

“Enough about work.” Rhodey sipped his drink and watched his friend eagerly as he considered his next words cautiously.

“I agree entirely, we’ve discussed far too much of it. And I for one believe that alcohol and work never mix.”

“Well, that was a bold faced lie.” Rhodey practically snorted into his drink.

“It was, I don’t know how I said it with a straight face.” Tony smirked playfully.

“Right, right…” Rhodey laughed, glad to see that his friend still had a little bit of the spark left inside of him that had faded considerably in the last year. “So, are things okay? Outside of work that is.”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Don’t I look fine? As handsome as ever.” Tony gestured to himself, his finely trimmed goatee, his short cropped but still somehow untamed hair, the expensive clothing he wore, and the physique he kept strong and at the ready just in case something happened. 

“No, I don’t mean any of that. You’re obviously _okay_ but… I mean: are you really okay? Are things okay?” The way Rhodey asked the question revealed his hand. Tony instantly winced and betrayed any lie he would tell. The confidence he’d displayed only seconds ago gave way to apprehension. When he didn’t respond, mostly since he couldn’t think of an answer, Rhodey continued. “I asked Pepper about you. You haven’t been yourself lately. She said you were fine. But Tony, I know you. You’re _not_ fine. Things are not fine.” Tony couldn’t believe that Rhodey read him so well. Or maybe he could believe it. Rhodey was Tony’s oldest friend and if anyone could tell that something was wrong with him, it was Rhodey. Tony had expected it to be Pepper, but he was learning that things were not as he had expected them to be on that front.

“Nothing’s been the same.” Tony shook his head, feeling a chill go through his entire being as he said the words out loud. He hadn’t admitted that something was wrong to anyone, not since he’d tried once to tell Pepper about his night terrors and had been banished from his bedroom. His skin broke out into goose bumps but he chose not to react to them. Rhodey was already worried about him, he didn’t want to make it worse. “Ever since everything with the Avengers nothing has been the same.” 

Rhodey had the feeling that whatever Tony was experiencing had something to do with the Avengers and what had happened in New York. But Tony realized as he spoke that it was more than that. It wasn’t just the events in Manhattan that had left him rattled but how things had played out after them that had really shaken his foundation to the core.

“What do you mean?” Rhodey was surprised that he’d gotten anything out of Tony to begin with. It was obviously against his better judgment. He could see that Tony wanted to understand what he was going through. That had to be a good sign. 

“Pepper’s changed.” Tony shrugged. It was the first time he’d said that out loud too. Even when he’d thought it he’d rejected the notion. Pepper Potts had been the only stable thing in his life for years and now that he needed her to be his rock she wasn’t. It was something he could no longer deny. Their interests no longer lie in the same things. He kept putting off dealing with the Pepper situation until he could get his sleeping habits under control. In fact, he’d put it off until he could regain control of _any_ kind in his life. But it hadn’t been as easy as he had hoped it would be. Instead, things had spiraled out of control and gotten worse. The situation with his girlfriend had compounded his efforts to recover from what happened with the Avengers. 

Tony had become a shell of the man he was. He was beginning to wonder if he would ever recover or if this was the way his life would be from now on. Seeing what he’d seen in the portal created by the Tesseract had scared the hell out of him but was that _really_ what had left him scarred? Tony wasn’t sure he’d ever know the truth. He wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to think about it long enough without losing his wits. It might be impossible to unravel what was going on within his heart and his mind.

“She hasn’t changed Tony.” Rhodey began warily. He’d known the two of them for years but he’d seen Pepper more frequently than he’d seen Tony recently. “She’s still the same woman she always was.” Tony was awestruck by Rhodey’s words and how simply he said them. Was it true? Was Pepper still exactly the same woman that she’d been before what happened in New York? If that was right then what did that mean for him? Maybe he had never seen the woman Pepper really was to begin with, not that this reflected negatively upon him. Tony had always been too caught up in his own selfish endeavors to care what Pepper’s personal life had been like back then. For years she had been cleaning up his messes and that’s all that he cared about. If this was the woman that Pepper _truly_ was and they didn’t make each other happy then what did that mean? 

The implications were astounding.

“I think this might have been a mistake.” Tony looked down at his rum and coke that suddenly seemed less appetizing. He used to drown his overly complex thoughts in alcohol but now it only proved to make his stomach upset. He knew he had a problem when even alcohol didn’t make him feel better. Where was Tony supposed to find comfort if not in the arms of a woman or in the bottom of a bottle? The answer was that there was no longer any comfort to be found. That scared the hell out of him. 

“Why is that?” Rhodey was contemplative. If Tony wanted to talk without being prompted he wasn’t going to stop him.

“I think I was scared to be alone after Afghanistan… After the Avengers.” Tony felt another surge of a chill go down his spine and had to tap his leg to keep from shaking it off. He rapped his knuckles against his arc reactor to let Rhodey know he meant the incident that had made him Iron Man in the first place. “Someone in captivity told me that I was the man with everything and nothing. It was true and it freaked me out. I wanted to be more than what I was which I found out was nothing. Pepper was there. I hadn’t realized how much she did for me or what an ungrateful jerk I was for a really long time. How that spiraled into this I don’t know. I think I did it so I wouldn’t be alone. I want her to be happy, Rhodey. I want to be happy too.” It was obvious to them both that Tony was definitely _not_ happy. Hell, he wasn’t even himself. This hollow person he’d become was someone he didn’t like to be around, not at all. He used to have fun no matter what he was doing. Now he felt barely alive. 

“I didn’t realize that, Tony.” Rhodey had suspected that what had happened to Tony in captivity had reached beyond the damage done to his body but Tony had never talked about it. Tony was never much the type to linger on his feelings but he’d let his past trauma build for too long. Now it was catching up with him and he had absolutely no idea how to deal with it.

“The problem is now that I’m scared again, I guess. Not scared but…” Tony looked past Rhodey and to the television that was turned to the news. The afternoon stock ticker ran across the bottom of the screen so his eyes followed the colors to keep his thoughts in check. He couldn’t make out the words but it gave him something to focus on so the panic wouldn’t overwhelm him. And even then, Tony didn’t feel panicked. He felt mostly sad. “I’m afraid I screwed up. Pepper’s a great woman, a wonderful woman, but we don’t seem to need the same things right now. She needs me to be someone I’m not, someone I never was. She needs me to be someone I never aspired to be.” Tony grimaced at the harsh reality he’d barely been coming to terms with.

“Then let her go.” Rhodey shrugged his shoulders. Tony looked appalled at the suggestion. He couldn’t just break off the relationship like that, not as simply as Rhodey made it sound. Could he? Was that an option? He’d broken up with plenty of women in the past, actually more women than most men had experience with in a lifetime, so why couldn’t he do it with Pepper? It was because she was _also_ his assistant and his friend. He’d never dated friends before. He’d always thought it was a bad decision given his track record. Tony had so few close friends, he didn’t want to lose any of them. In a way, hadn’t he already lost Pepper and Happy?

“It’s not that easy, Rhodey.” Tony wiped the condensation off of his glass, struggling to keep his hands still as he often did. Sometimes Tony had to keep busy or he’d become restless. For the time being he had to keep busy in order not to over think their conversation. If he panicked in public, if what he had suffered even _was_ panic, then it would only give him more cause for worry. Tony wasn’t quite convinced that what he’d experienced _was_ a panic attack yet. He was going to talk to a doctor to see if perhaps there was something physically wrong with him before he resorted to that. Maybe he was getting sick. That was the only thing that made sense to him. Tony needed something tangible, something he could fix.

“Why not? It seems that easy to me. You’re not happy, she’s not happy, so break up.” Rhodey’s no nonsense attitude toward relationships surprised Tony. He had always thought that he was the one to make rash decisions with women. But maybe the decision wasn’t rash, maybe Tony was making excuses because he was afraid of dealing with the fallout of what would happen if he was no longer dating Pepper.

On top of that, he was realizing now how right Rhodey had been about everything. Pepper _was_ the same woman. She’d never liked that he’d become Iron Man and she never liked that he spent so much time working on something that was so violent. For awhile it had seemed like she understood that he _was_ Iron Man regardless of the suit he wore but as time had passed it had been made clear that she didn’t want that part of him. 

He was quickly realizing that he’d had an ideal in his head of how he had expected Pepper to be as his girlfriend. It was as unrealistic an expectation as him giving up the Iron Man armor and becoming a different man. Pepper was still the same woman she’d been as his assistant, but Tony had only thought she’d changed because she hadn’t been the girlfriend he’d pictured in his mind’s eye. He was sure that she felt the same way about him. Maybe she thought he’d changed from the man she had known and would only continue changing. But how could she think that when she’d worked for him for so many years and seen him at his lowest points? Tony’s head was spinning but thankfully not the way it had been before Rhodey had called. This was simply normal confusion that came with thinking far too hard about something he didn’t want to think about at all.

Maybe Rhodey _was_ right. 

Maybe Pepper wasn’t the woman for him and he wasn’t the man for her. If he broke it off now they could both move on and find the people they were really supposed to be with. It was unfair of him to stay in a relationship he knew wasn’t working. But what if it _was_ working and this crazy phase he was going through was really the cause of all their problems? Somewhere deep down Tony knew that wasn’t the truth, but he couldn’t help but believe his excuses more than the reality. The excuses were easier to accept than dealing with what the truth would imply. 

He’d rushed into a relationship out of fear of being alone. He had become some terrible break up song.

It wasn’t something he knew he’d been afraid of. Aware suddenly that he was over thinking and had since become incredibly silent, Tony shifted in his seat and took a sip of his drink. He couldn’t think of what to say to ease the tension but he couldn’t give up on it either. If he kept thinking this way then it would surely do him in. 

“Speaking of relationships,” Rhodey cleared his throat, sensing that he had put Tony off his game. It worried him to see his friend so lost in thought. Sure, there had been times in their youth when they had contemplated the vast intricacies of life and had been stunned into silence, but it had never been like this. Whatever was happening to Tony was something far more complex than a little too much alcohol. If Rhodey pushed him too much it was possible that he would shut down. Helping his friend would be a process that would take longer than an afternoon of drinks. It didn’t matter if it took years to help Tony find normalcy and happiness again, Rhodey was more than willing to help. “I’ve been seeing someone.” 

“What?” Tony perked up, turning his gaze away from his drink. The melancholic gloom that hung over his head faded away. Instead Tony looked taken aback and a little insulted.

“I’ve been seeing someone.” Rhodey repeated, casually sipping his drink.

“Well, I heard you. So _details._ You can’t break something like that and then not give me details.”

“If you heard me then why did you react like that?”

“Because that is what you say when you’re astounded. Rhodey, you _stud!_ What’s she like? Is she hot? Should I be stealing her from you? What’s her name? How long have you been seeing her? I’m really glad you started dating again Rhodes, I was looking up monasteries you could move to since that seemed to be your choice of lifestyle…” Tony seemed to magically become his old self again. The transition wasn’t as awkward as he’d expected and Rhodey was glad to see a glimmer of his best friend again.

“Calm down, you gossip. Don’t get your panties in a bunch.” Rhodey smirked. Tony leaned his elbows against the table and batted his eyelashes comically. “Her name is Olivia and we’ve been seeing each other for a month.”

“A month? And you’re _just_ telling me now?” Tony pouted, feigning offense. He wasn’t totally surprised that Rhodey hadn’t come running to him after the first date. When it came to women Tony was a notorious playboy and often accused of being a hound dog. In the past it had done Rhodey no favors with women he wanted to get serious with. Overall, Tony was happy for his friend as long as he was being made happy. 

“I wanted to be positive she was a sure thing before I told you about it.” Rhodey didn’t apologize, he knew Tony would understand why he waited. “Besides, I haven’t seen you in weeks. I wasn’t going to call you up just to tell you I had a girlfriend. We’re not teenagers bragging about conquests anymore.”

“Well, aren’t you sweet?” Tony rolled his eyes but continued to pry. “So this Olivia… is she hot?” Rhodey didn’t like to value women on their appearance the way that Tony so easily managed to but his smile betrayed him. “You dog!” Tony smacked the table happily, proud of his friend. “You’ve got more game than you let on.”

“I have _plenty_ of game.”

“Tell that to the weekends we spent in Vegas where you went to bed alone.”

“Do you have any idea how hard it is to get women when I’m standing next to one of the richest guys on the planet? Any woman that comes near me is aiming for you.”

“And you should have taken advantage of that fact instead of being a gentleman.”

“Ladies say chivalry is dead and I’m pretty sure _you’re_ the reason why.” Rhodey pointed out.

“Chivalry? No way. I’m super chivalrous. I’m practically a knight. I already have the shining armor.” Tony smirked. Rhodey nearly choked on his drink and wound up coughing. “Hey! I am!”

“Sure, and I’m a distant heir of Alexander the Great.” 

“Those women that hung all over me in casinos and, well, any place that I showed up, they weren’t looking to win my heart they were looking to use my money. All I wanted was something in return for what I spent. They didn’t get cheated and neither did I. We all knew what we were doing when we did it and there’s no harm in that. I was a perfect gentleman and always gave more than they bargained for, you know. Ladies first, and all that.” Tony set down his drink on the table in front of him. Rhodey stared at him in utter disbelief.

“Oh yeah, you’re totally chivalrous.”

“ _Thank_ you.”

“That was sarcasm.” Rhodey shook his head in dismay but smiled anyway.

“Sure it was. So, again, this Olivia… when do I get to meet her?”

“I was thinking like six months from now.”

“What? Come on! That’s so far away. Why so long? Are you afraid that I’m going to steal her away from you? I’m not single anymore, don’t you remember that?” laughed Tony.

“No, I need time to prep her for meeting you.”

“I know I’m pretty impressive and a lot to handle at times, but why so long? Can’t we do this in a week?”

“Because I don’t want you to chase her out of my life!” Rhodey laughed as though the answer was obvious.

“I would _never_ …” Tony appeared absolutely horrified by the implications.

“What about that girl after college. The one I really liked?”

“Well I was young and stupid then. And to be fair, I didn’t know she was squeamish.” Tony had an excuse for everything. He always had.

“Okay then, so how about five years ago when I met that girl overseas and you flew out to have dinner with us and then promptly explained how dangerous my job was. It scared her enough that she never called me again. I was heartbroken!”

“Rhodey, she could barely speak English. I was doing you a favor!”

“She spoke better English than most of the women here in the States and I _really_ liked her!” Rhodey chuckled, no longer frustrated by any of the errors Tony had made in his past. “Then there was the girl we met in Mexico…”

“Rhodey, you have got to stop falling for women out of the country. You have a serious problem.” Tony scolded and Rhodey shook his head in disbelief. Sometimes Tony was unbelievable. As much as he was insulted by Tony’s many excuses he was also relieved to hear him speaking so freely. Conversation had been strained up until that point.

“She was an American visiting Rocky Point, how the hell do you consider that a foreigner?”

“She was in another country therefore it was a foreign _Ménage à trois_!” Tony argued then thanked a waiter who brought him a refill of his rum and coke that he’d barely realized he’d finished. 

“Then what about…”

“Okay, _okay!_ I got your point Rhodey. I’ll wait to meet her. Yeesh!” Tony laughed but turned his attention to the television behind him where the news story had changed. Every so often a newscaster would come on the screen and announce something that Tony couldn’t properly hear. His eyes flitted down to the words scrolling across the bottom and he watched for anything interesting. It was a habit he’d picked up after he’d become Iron Man. In the event of some kind of emergency or attack, it would be on the news and he would be able to jump into action. That hadn’t happened since New York and he was secretly hoping it wouldn’t now. For once he was enjoying himself without being Iron Man. “So have you two…?”

“Oh, come on Tony. You know I don’t give those kinds of details.” Rhodey chuckled and tilted his head to the side. Tony scrutinized him for a long moment before his lips curled into a Cheshire grin.

“You _haven’t_. What are you waiting for? A handwritten letter offering you permission to enter the gates? Or are you a vampire and have to be invited? _Or_ is that not how vampires work anymore these days? I’m all confused after all these recent movies…” Tony drifted off but his brain continued to rattle on.

“I’m waiting for the right moment.”

“If I’ve learned anything it’s that every moment is a right moment to get laid.” Tony took a drink from his new glass and made a face. Someone had put a little too much rum in that glass. 

“And if I’ve learned anything from watching you it’s that sometimes if you get laid too much the world sees you as a _little_ bit of a slut. I want it to mean something more than what it is. I want it to be special and so does she.” Rhodey argued, sitting up straighter, proud that he’d stood his ground on the matter.

“So she won’t let you, huh?” Tony looked back to the television behind Rhodey again. Rhodey sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Not everyone is you, Tony. Some of us have to work for what we want instead of being handed it on a silver platter.”

“I have worked very hard for everything I have. You just wouldn’t be able to tell by looking at me.” Tony comically batted his eyelashes as he had done earlier. “And I don’t suppose I worked very hard for all those calendar models either.” Rhodey laughed again. It was good to see his friend smile and joke around. Even if most of the jokes were at his expensive, Rhodey didn’t mind much. Tony didn’t mean to make any digs at him personally that’s just how their relationship was. It was a give and take. Tony dug at Rhodey and Rhodey dug back and they laughed and got over it. It was very rarely that the two fought over anything seriously. Neither one of them was very sensitive. 

“We should do this more often.” Rhodey spoke after his laughter had subsided. Tony looked past him again, but Rhodey figured he was waiting for a follow up as to what. “Don’t tell me that setting a time to meet in stone is for ladies. Plenty of guys have a designated time where they hang out with their friends to fit their schedules. It’s gender neutral to hang out, okay?” But still Tony didn’t respond to him. Had he broken Tony Stark? “We could meet here at this bar once a week. Or sometimes we could shake it up and have dinner. This place seems to be pretty friendly to the fact that you’re a celebrity. No one’s come running over here asking for a picture or your autograph so I’m already a fan of it.” Rhodey stirred what remained of his drink and sat back contently in his chair. But again Tony didn’t respond to him.

Rhodey looked from side to side and saw nothing of note around him. Tony was looking past him, practically through him. Waving his hand in front of Tony’s face, he saw the man shake his head from side to side in order to avoid his hand. Rhodey turned to follow Tony’s gaze and saw what was distracting him. The television was showing a news story that had completely enraptured his friend.

“Sometimes I swear that you’re as ADD as a puppy.” But still Tony wasn’t paying attention. His eyes remained glued to the television and the story it told.


	3. Black Magic Woman

Tony had lost interest in his story after having teased Rhodey about getting what he wanted. He hadn’t heard the follow up or the invitation to meet again in the weeks that followed. Instead he’d caught sight of something he was _very_ much interested in. The news followed the story about a woman he didn’t recognize. Judging by the way the reporters spoke of her he seemed to be the only one who didn’t know who she was. She was tall, curvy in all the right places, and wearing possibly the classiest black dress he’d ever seen. She was ignoring the press and their questions with poise and grace while leaving the City Hall building in Boston. The press couldn’t get enough of her and followed her every move! 

What was just as interesting, once Tony had managed to pull his gaze away from the woman’s figure, was that there were bodyguards on either side of her. On their vests, though it was faded and partially hidden, was the familiar logo of an eagle. They were S.H.I.E.L.D. agents. Why would this strange, attractive woman have S.H.I.E.L.D. escorting her in and out of City Hall? And why would it be on the national news? The stories scrolling along the bottom of the screen were unrelated and local. The report itself was too quiet for Tony to hear.

The volume was turned down low so that the sounds of the shows wouldn’t overwhelm the patrons looking to chat up their friends and colleagues. The screen transitioned away from the reporter and to a much closer shot of the woman and her bodyguards. She was making a statement about something or other as flashes of camera bulbs went off in the background. From the few words Tony could make out by reading her lips it had something to do with a place called “Refuge”. He was far too distracted by the woman on the screen to read the rest of the headline running beneath her and reading her lips was having unexpected physical consequences.

Who was this woman and why had he never seen or heard of her before? There had been a time where Tony made all the rounds through the Hollywood socialites. Even then he couldn’t recall having ever seen anyone quite like her before. Her long curly chocolate colored hair was half hidden beneath a black hat that matched her dress and though her eyes were hidden by sunglasses he could catch glimpses of a sparkling blue behind them when she turned her head the right way.

“Tony, you zoned out. Is everything okay? Should I be worried?” Rhodey waved his hand in front of his friend’s face and finally got a response but it wasn’t the one that he had expected.

“Pause!” Tony spoke to the television but it didn’t respond as he had hoped. For a brief moment he’d completely forgotten that he was no longer in his home. There Jarvis obeyed his every command but in the bar he was powerless to control the progression of the news story. There was no way for him to rewind. Soon enough the story would be over and the glimpse he’d caught of her would be gone. He’d never know why she was with S.H.I.E.L.D. agents or what Refuge was or even what her name was. For some reason, Tony very much wanted to know these things. Rhodey laughed and turned his attention back to the news story. He wasn’t sure what had left Tony so transfixed but was more than willing to find out.

“I’m afraid that won’t work here.”

“Who the hell is that?” Tony peered around Rhodey who blocked his view trying to steal glances of the woman. He strained his ears in attempts to make out some of the dialogue but it was a fruitless effort. The volume was so low it might as well have been muted. Even with only a handful of people in the bar too much noise was being made. Funny, Tony could hear every word to a crappy commercial but when it came to something he actually _wanted_ to hear it was too quiet. Go figure. He resorted to reading lips again but that also proved fruitless. He doubted that they were talking about giant juicy melons. It was more than likely his subconscious _hoping_ that they were. The nature of the news story had distracted him far too much to concentrate on such a trivial task.

“You don’t know?” Rhodey seemed suddenly far more amused than he had been when Tony had completely derailed their conversation for a news story.

“Don’t act all superior about it. Just tell me who she is!”

“You _seriously_ don’t know?” Rhodey turned sideways in his seat and pointed to the television in front of them seemingly in disbelief.

“I swear, you’re going senile. I’ll ask again. Who is she?”

“She’s been all over the news for the past few months.”

“She’s got a _great_ rack.” Tony made a face of approval and strained to see her in the picture on the screen that had shrunk to a small corner so that the reporter could continue with the story. “I can’t tell about the backside. They’re not giving me enough angles to work with here.”

“Yes, because I’m sure that the news is very concerned with how great the woman’s ass looks.” Rhodey laughed.

“They should be. It’s a very pressing matter if you ask me.” Tony nodded and finally peeled his eyes away from the television as the reporter transitioned to something far less interesting. “I’ve been kind of out of the loop lately. I don’t put the television on much anymore.” Pepper used to brief him on the news that pertained to him and current events each morning but since she no longer served as his assistant he had to rely on Jarvis for the news. Eventually it had all sounded the same to Tony so he’d stopped requesting it. Now he was regretting that. Apparently some _very_ interesting things had transpired since he’d stopped paying attention. 

“ _Really?_ You used to be the first to know about everything.” Rhodey scowled. The worry was thick in his gaze again and Tony turned away to avoid it. If Tony had stopped caring what the media thought then it meant he had stopped caring what they thought about _him_. While the way they felt had never particularly affected his behavior in any way, he had always wanted the media’s input. He’d often enjoyed giving them a hard time and playing them to his favor. And the media, in return, had enjoyed his outlandish lifestyle and had played right into his hand. If Tony had lost that part of him then it was due to something bigger. Rhodey knew that Tony would never grow tired of attention, it was in his nature to be the center of things. It only solidified that something was very wrong with his friend, something far beyond his relationship with Pepper.

“Are you going to tell me who she is or not? I need to know and if you’re not going to tell me then I’m going to have to start Googling and you know how I feel about Google.” Tony hoped to avoid addressing the many things wrong with him. Tony knew he had problems, but he was finally feeling like his old self for the first time in a very long time. He didn’t want the happiness to disappear quite yet. Plus, he was still very, very interested in the woman on the television.

“That’s Miss Scarlett Damien.” Rhodey began.

“Oh, Scarlett, that’s a nice name. I like it. Very femme fatale.” Tony wiggled his eyebrows comically. “Miss too, means she’s not married. Who is she? Why is the media stalking her?”

“She’s a genius.” Rhodey smirked. It was very rare that he had information Tony wasn’t privy to and he was rather enjoying lording it over his friend. “Like the stupid ridiculously smart kind. Like _you._ ”

“Geniuses don’t look like _that_.” Tony stared in disbelief at his friend.

“Some would argue the same about you.”

“Aw, I’m flattered Rhodes. I didn’t know you thought I was pretty!”

“I was speaking on behalf of others, not myself. Don’t get cocky pretty boy.”

“It’s these damn eyelashes. I can’t help it that I’m _so_ beautiful.” Tony smirked. Rhodey turned in his chair and reached inside the briefcase that he kept at his feet beneath the table. “But you know what I meant. You expect something much different than that when you hear the word genius.”

“Here, hold on.” Rhodey dug around in his bag before withdrawing a thick magazine. He then laid it in front of Tony, keeping his hand at the top of it. Plastered on the magazine cover was the face of the same woman that he’d seen on the television. Now that he could see her close up, Tony could see just how stunning she really was, at least to him. Her eyes _were_ blue, he’d guessed right even behind her dark sunglasses. On the bottom of the magazine in bold letters it read _Finding Refuge._ Apparently he was better at reading lips than he thought he was. “I told you, she’s everywhere now. Magazines, newspapers, television… _everywhere._ ” Hastily Tony grabbed the magazine away from Rhodey and opened the pages so he could find the article about the mystery woman. 

“You said she’s a genius?” Tony asked, paging through the magazine and eyeing the article but finding himself distracted by the picture on the left side of the page. “And that answers my question about the back side…”

“Genius can be pretty vague, I suppose.” Rhodey watched Tony, amusement sparkling in his eyes. “She’s something of a medical marvel.”

“Yeah?” Tony finally looked away from the article and back at his friend. “How is that? Did someone build her, because if _I_ was building women…”

“She’s changed the world of medicine! That’s what I meant. It’s all about prosthetics.” Rhodey laughed. Tony rolled the magazine so it was folded in half and turned so the picture of Scarlett was facing Rhodey.

“Those are _not_ prosthetics.” Tony pointed to Scarlett’s legs. Rhodey tried to snatch the magazine away from Tony but the billionaire pulled it out of his reach and dared him with his eyes to try and take it again.

“She doesn’t _have_ prosthetics.” Rhodey laughed. “She’s _developing_ prosthetics. Well, developed them. It’s been all over the news for the last month.” 

“Then she’s _not_ a medical marvel.” Tony turned the picture away from Rhodey. “Prosthetics, yeah right.” He muttered and tilted his head to the side as he flipped the pages. “Maybe implants, but no prosthetics.”

“They’re _not_ implants.” Rhodey stopped Tony before he could inquire further. “How did we even start talking about this?”

“You lied to me about her being a medical marvel. You should have said that she is the creator of the next medical marvel, not that she is the next medical marvel.” 

“Since when do you work for the grammar police?”

“Since you changed the meaning of that sentence and confused me.” Tony paid him no mind. It was hard to read the article while both listening to Rhodey and ogling the glossy photos of this stranger.

“You knew what I meant.”

“Are you going to tell me about the medical marvel thing or are we just going to argue about how bad your grammar is all afternoon?” Tony tapped the picture of Scarlett in the magazine. Rhodey narrowed his eyes at him and then sighed.

“I could let you read the article on your own, but I guess I’ll tell you since you don’t seem to have any patience.”

“And I’m the one who isn’t chivalrous.” 

“Shut up.” Rhodey leaned back in his chair before continuing. “She came out of nowhere with this technological advance in robotics. Apparently she was an engineer sometime in the past and worked in run down hospitals in Africa. They don’t say much about that history but since then she’s been traveling and developing different advancements and technology. Her list of credentials is insane. One of the magazines narrowed it down and I was blown away. But the crazy thing about these prosthetics is that they fuse with the human body via the nervous system _without_ brain surgery. Don’t ask me how she does it because the technology goes way over my head.” Rhodey waved his hand. “I had one of the med tech guys try to read me in on it and I swear my brain boiled.”

“Without brain surgery?” Tony was looking over the article and lifted his head when Rhodey mentioned it. The implications were staggering and Tony was temporarily left speechless. He’d seen prosthetics make leaps and bounds in the last ten years. Even the most advanced prosthetic technology involved brain surgery. Not to mention the technology was insanely expensive and wasn’t always guaranteed to work. There had been speculation that the technology had hit its peak and wouldn’t get any better.

“That’s right. It’s something about fusing artificial nerves with the existing nervous system. She broke it down to a cellular level treating the existing body like a machine that needed rewiring. Even the blood stream is connected throughout the prosthetic. The work that went into this technology, it’s amazing, Tony. They even bleed if you cut them. I didn’t believe it was real until I saw it with my own eyes. What she’s done is amazing. The advancements that this woman has developed are going to change the lives of war veterans around the world. And even more extraordinary is that she’s giving prototypes to volunteer veterans who were injured free of charge.”

“Smart move for her company. Refuge, right? Otherwise they’re throwing this word in my face way too often for my liking.” Tony cocked a curious eyebrow before looking back to the magazine and the tiny print he was skimming. Rhodey’s version of the story was far more entertaining.

“Yeah, Refuge. She claims that the name derives from the fact that she believes that humanity should take refuge beneath technology not from technology. It’s brilliant actually. People have really warmed up to her even _with_ her reputation…” Rhodey was obviously excited to get to the juicier parts of her story.

“No, that’s not it.” Tony closed the magazine, unable to concentrate on the words when those pictures were accompanying them. He was sure it was all very informative but if they really wanted people to properly focus on what they wrote then they shouldn’t have put pictures of her in such a flattering dress. That seemed perfectly logical to him. Then again, when the Founder and CEO of a company looked _that_ good there was no reason _not_ to exploit it. It certainly got _him_ interested. He would’ve bought the magazine if he’d passed by it on the rack.

“That’s what she said.”

“That was a terrible joke. Do you understand how that joke works? I don’t think that’s what she said at all.”

“No, that’s what she _really_ said in an interview.” Rhodey chuckled and wiped his hand over his chin. “Prosthetics was what made her big but from what I understand she’s not a one trick pony. Apparently there are many more developments up her sleeve. Yesterday morning her company went public on the trading floor. She was seeking out private investments for awhile to keep her company funded but it’s gotten so popular and successful in a short time that it’s been opened to the public for investments. From what I saw on the news before we met here it’s doing remarkably well.”

“Yeah, her presence at the exchange in that skirt had absolutely nothing to do with sales.” Tony muttered beneath his breath. 

“As I was _saying_ , that’s why she’s doing all this press today.” Rhodey cleared his throat and spoke over his friend. “Not to mention there’s this rumor going around that she’s seeing this British guy who was an investor in her company. He’s this big theater buff or something. Very popular because he’s a heartthrob. There are pictures of the two all over the less informative magazines.”

“Rhodey, when did you become such a delightful gossip?” Tony couldn’t help but smirk, the worries that had been plaguing his mind completely forgotten for the time being. Rhodey seemed to pay this insult no mind.

“To sweeten the deal her history is this huge thing for the press. From what I understand it’s next level spy stuff but it’s all been classified and she refuses to talk about it in public. There’s these crazy conspiracy theories about what it could be but there’s no real validation to any of it. I doubt there ever will be.”

“Oh come on, really? Talk about a publicity scam.” Tony chuckled but in the back of his mind he recalled the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents who had been by her side posing as security guards. Maybe there was some validity to what Rhodey was talking about. It would explain why he’d never heard of her before in all of his years in the industry.

“I checked into her background personally when I got the chance because she’s got this upcoming contract with the military. I guess we’re going to be doing some work together for something. I’m really looking forward to it. From what I heard she’s very interesting to be around. Not at all what you’d expect given her reputation.” 

“Work with the military? Really?” Tony placed the magazine in his lap and leaned his arms on the table.

“She apparently has these plans for new body armor. The material is stronger than Kevlar and more reliable. I’m telling you, it’s remarkable stuff. And while I may sound like a gossip talking about it here with you I’m really looking forward to working with her. She’s exciting and since you don’t work with us anymore it’s the most interesting thing that’s happened since you let me use the Warmachine.” Rhodey reached for his magazine but jumped back when he was swatted away by Tony.

“Since you stole my Mark II, you mean.”

“From what I understand you _let_ me take it because you thought that you were dying. Remember? Your opinion on that changes depending on your mood.” Rhodey challenged him. They’d had this conversation a number of times and the argument differed each time. Rhodey could never tell whether or not Tony had let him become the Warmachine or if it was something he’d done on his own. It didn’t seem to matter now that the deed had already been done.

“So what’s with the S.H.I.E.L.D. detail, then?” Tony nodded toward the television that was transitioning from the news and onto a sitcom that Tony could care less about. “If she’s working with the military then why does she have S.H.I.E.L.D. agents on either side of her watching her back?” Rhodey seemed surprised to hear this and turned back toward the television even if there was nothing there to see.

“I didn’t notice any S.H.I.E.L.D. agents with her.”

“Oh, they weren’t trying to be noticed for what they were but considering how often I’ve worked with them I can just tell. That little bird symbol may have been small but it was still there.” Most people were blissfully unaware of the existence of S.H.I.E.L.D. so the fact that they still wore their insignia even if they didn’t want to be recognized wasn’t a very big deal. There were only a handful of people privy to any knowledge regarding the secretive company.

“Maybe they’re interested in her for the same reason the military is. Either that or it could have something to do with this mysterious past that no one seems to know anything about and she’s unwilling to reveal.” Rhodey shrugged his shoulders and stirred his straw again in his near empty drink. “I’m not surprised that they would be interested. From what I’ve read on this woman they’d be a bunch of idiots not to back her or try to get her to deal with them. You don’t understand how amazing this is, Tony.”

“Enlighten me then.”

“The prosthetic technology is unreal. I watched this video of a demonstration of the new prosthesis and it is astounding. Honestly, I can’t even describe it to you. You’re going to have to see it for yourself. It is undeniably the coolest thing that I have seen since you started developing Iron Man armor. I know it seems like something small but the advancements that are going to blossom out of this new technology are unheard of. Do you have any idea how revolutionary that is? Nothing like this has happened in years.” Rhodey seemed to have stars in his eyes.

“You’re painting a very vivid picture for me.” Tony didn’t like hearing that something was more exciting than technology that _he_ had developed. He’d discovered a new element! He’d changed the way that energy worked. He’d created the first fully armored suit capable of flight! What was more innovative than that? And yet he was intrigued on top of being jealous. It was a strange unfamiliar feeling. Usually Stark Industries was leading the way in revolutionary mechanics. Now it seemed like Refuge was overshadowing his company. That could have been due to the fact that he had very much been _neglecting_ his company, preferring to work on the armor that could keep him and those he cared about safe instead. 

“She’s going to be incredibly wealthy by the end of this. I don’t know if she was before or not because again her past is this huge thing no one knows about. I’m going to guess she didn’t have much to start with because of how she had to find all that funding but with the way things are going for her now? I wouldn’t be surprised if she ended up as rich as you are in ten years Tony.”

“Not possible.” Tony dismissed the idea quickly but the gears were turning within his mind. He didn’t care how much money she was making or how much she was eventually going to make. He couldn’t get past the idea of how the prosthetics were working for her without having to perform any kind of brain surgery. It was brilliant and he wanted to see how it worked. Somehow he doubted that it would be general knowledge information. If he wanted to know he would have to find out on his own and there was only one way to do that. Well, there were two ways to do it but one of them involved breaking the law while the other involved meeting the creator. After seeing the creator, he definitely preferred the latter. 

“Oh, it’s possible.” Rhodey smirked, eyeing Tony curiously. “Jealous, are you?”

“No.” Tony practically pouted.

“Don’t lie.”

“I’m curious, not jealous.”

“Really? Because you look mostly jealous.”

“No, I’m _not_ jealous, Rhodey. I’m glad that progress is being made with prosthetics. I’m not the type who’s going to be angry at others for developing technology and helping it along. However, I am wondering if something she’s working on could help me with a project of mine.” Tony mused, tapping his fingers against the magazine cover. 

“Do you plan on losing a limb anytime soon?” Rhodey joked with a straight face.

“I’m pretty sure you don’t _plan_ limb loss.” Tony scoffed but then kept talking. “The suit I was telling you about, my newest one… this technology that I was looking at to get it to assemble on top of me without any technological requirements is very similar to the central nervous system implants they use with modern day prosthesis. The implant, you see, is inserted into the brain and creates a wireless link with the arm making it possible for thought to control the arm the same way that you would with the limb you were born with. However, brain surgery is, no matter how you turn the phrase, brain surgery. It’s dangerous and about the one thing I’m not willing to do to myself. I’ve tried several other methods including heat seeking and radar. None of them have worked and it’s been a real treat testing it. Let me tell you, I have some bizarre bruises.”

“I’d ask how you were doing those tests Tony but I’m pretty sure that I never want to know.” Rhodey grimaced but he was already thinking about what kind of hell Tony had forced himself to suffer through for the sake of his suits and the drive for seamless technology. In a way, he wondered if Tony was punishing himself by continuing to test.

“Good call there, Rhodes.” Tony poked at the remaining condensation on his glass since there was little left inside of it besides ice. “This technology she’s using could be the answer to my problem. It’s possible she could offer some insight into my failures and help me develop something that could go that one step further with my armor. I’m sure there’s something I could offer her in exchange.”

“Don’t go there.” Rhodey warned.

“Where?” Tony looked away from the glass and to Rhodey and then laughed upon realizing the implications. “You pervert, I was speaking technologically. From one genius to another I would be happy to offer her some insight in something she was working on.”

“That somehow still sounds dirty.” Rhodey narrowed his eyes at Tony suspiciously. At the same time he wondered about the possibility though he kept these thoughts very much to himself.

“You’ve been spending too much time with me. Or not enough depending on how you look at it.” Tony tossed the idea around in his mind. The more he thought about approaching Scarlett to work with him on his suit the more he liked it. He’d never had a second opinion on what he was doing with his Marks and that had been by design. He didn’t want anyone to know how the reactor worked and he didn’t want anyone to know the secrets behind his armor. It was uniquely him and he wanted to keep it that way. But if this woman was as brilliant as the press and his best friend claimed her to be then it could be well worth letting her in on his secrets. Additionally Tony had a good feeling about the idea and that went a long way. Really the deal was already sealed in his mind he just had to make it happen.

As long as he didn’t let her know how the suit was actually built from scratch, there was no risk of her replicating the technology. If he made it clear that was part of the deal he could be safe, or at least he hoped so.

It had been a very long time since Tony had gone above and beyond to make anything happen for himself outside of his armor advancements. Then there was the pesky problem of publicity and what that would say for him and his company to have this woman coming into his home to work with him privately. If she was as much of a media darling as Rhodey claimed her to be, and Tony suspected that she was, then it was possible that it would cause him some trouble with the press. Not that bad press had ever stopped Tony before but he was already trying to think of how to handle it so he could cushion the blow.

Then it occurred to him that there was a big nagging problem he’d been ignoring that he could ask her to help him with at Stark Industries. If he could hire Scarlett as a consultant for his company then it wouldn’t seem at all unsavory for him to be seen with her in public. She would be a huge asset for Stark Industries and it was possible it would shoot his company back into the limelight and give him some _good_ press instead of the kind he had initially worried about. Sometimes Tony couldn’t believe how brilliant he was even in his darkest hours.

“What’s going on in that head of yours? I can see the gears turning. I’m waiting for smoke to come out of your ears but nothing’s happened and I’m starting to get bored. Plus I have a date tonight, we can’t stay here forever. Eventually you’re going to have to snap out of it.” Rhodey yawned, pretending to be bored and checking the time on his phone.

“Oh that’s right, this mystery Olivia girl that I can’t meet. If I don’t get to see a picture soon Rhodey I’m going to find one myself and you might not like the process I have to go through to do that.” Tony threatened and before Rhodey could object he continued onward to explain what thoughts had been running through the back of his mind. “You remember the energy project, right?”

“Yeah, the one that’s supposed to revolutionize the energy industry as we know it? The one that’s supposed to create a clean and efficient energy plant that will replace nuclear plants all around the world and make electricity clean and affordable?”

“Yes, that one. Thanks for clarifying for me.” Tony rolled his eyes and continued. “The reason it’s still in production and not in the first phases of testing are because I’m working on something to convert this power source from the new element in my reactor into the current voltage we use for power here in the States. Once I can do that it’s just a quick adjustment for different currents used in other countries. But there’s been a snag in the process. I can’t seem to figure it out. Something seems to escape me every time I sit down to work on it and it’s not for lack of trying. So the testing on different conversion techniques and amplifiers has continued but with a very low success rate. Actually the last attempt blew up a significant portion of my building. How I kept that out of the papers is beyond me. No one was hurt but man it has been a pain in the ass rebuilding that lab…” Tony drifted off on the topic and flicked at his straw wrapper.

“You think that Damien could help with that too? It’s not exactly in her line of expertise that I know of. Energy technology and all that. I think she’s more into robotics and the like.”

“Technology is technology, Rhodey. If she’s anything like me then she’s excited to learn new techniques and explore new areas of engineering and robotics. I think that if nothing else it would excite her and it would be considered another area of philanthropy. It would only boost her popularity to help. With all the mystery surrounding her, my guess is that her publicist, if she has one, is pushing her to seem benevolent so that people will stop assuming that she’s had a notorious history of dark deeds.” Tony explained, wondering if Rhodey understood. 

They had grown up together after college and while Rhodey had been witness to the insanity that was often party to Tony’s life he sometimes didn’t understand what it was like to have every aspect of his personal and professional life scrutinized by the public. Everything he did was subject to the opinion of some person across the country he’d never met before. Public approval was sometimes the only key to success and thankfully Tony had somehow managed to win the hearts of his public despite his history.

“Well, I think you should do it. The worst she can do is say no.” Rhodey thought about it for a second. It was a risk, letting Tony pursue a woman like Scarlett Damien, considering his reputation and the current rumors about where he’d disappeared to and the trouble he was in. But Rhodey was sure it was a risk worth taking for him. Tony needed to get out of his basement and back into reality. What better way to do that then to send him across the country to talk to a fellow engineer and get him back to work? Even if he still obsessed over the suits and his safety, at least he was getting out of the house and back into the public eye. Tony needed to be the center of attention even if he didn’t realize how much he thrived on it.

If he made the first few steps he’d eventually be the person he once was and learn how to recover from the trauma he was suffering through. Rhodey wanted to help his friend no matter the cost.

“You think so?” Tony looked surprised to receive his friend’s approval. He’d half expected Rhodey to lecture him about responsibility and how he had a girlfriend and all that nonsense. Why that mattered, Tony wasn’t sure, but he was sure that it was something that would’ve come up. Given that Tony had once taken anything with legs to bed, he could understand why someone would think that he was working to get her into his arms. Tony was sure that if he hadn’t been dating Pepper then that is exactly what he would’ve done. Unfortunately there was a part of him that still very much wanted to do that.

“Yeah, why not? She’s smart and innovative. If she offers you some insight into what you’re working on both publically and privately then what’s the harm? Even if she doesn’t help you with it then it’d be good press just to have her around since Refuge is doing so well. Tony Stark and Scarlett Damien working together? You’d be back in the papers faster than you could breathe. I can’t think of better press for Stark Industries and hell, you need the good press right now.”

“Are people still theorizing that I’m dead and my double’s walking around somewhere just so people don’t panic that Iron Man is gone?” Tony smirked. He had ignored most of the press but he couldn’t help but enjoy the wild theories that the gossip magazines posted about him and the insane stories that occasionally popped up on the internet. 

“Yeah. One of my staff sergeants asked me if it was true you’d been abducted by aliens the other day.” Rhodey laughed heartily as he recalled the series of events. “I assured him that you were at home and simply taking a break from the public life. After he left I made sure that someone set up a psychiatric review for him.”

“Wow, aliens. The press must be desperate. Or that guy is way off his rocker.”

“Either one is entirely possible. I try to ignore what I hear about you most of the time. Half of it’s a crock of garbage and the other half of it is disconcerting.” Rhodey grimaced. “But this thing with Scarlett? It’s a good idea.”

“You really think that?” Tony seemed somewhat apprehensive but Rhodey smiled confidently. 

“Yes! Go to Boston and talk to her at Refuge Headquarters. Make a gesture of goodwill and peace and she just might buy into it before realizing what she’s gotten herself into.” Rhodey grinned playfully.

“You know what? I think I will do exactly that.” Tony leaned back in his chair and glanced down at the magazine before setting it on the table in front of him. He had absolutely no intentions of giving it back to his friend. He wanted to try and read the article properly without getting distracted by the pictures next to it. He wasn’t sure how well that would work out but he was certainly going to give it the old college effort.

“However, I would suggest doing one _teeny_ little thing before you fly up there and start worming your way into Refuge business.” Rhodey winced and held up his thumb and forefinger as an example.

“And what is that?”

“Talk to Pepper about it first.” Rhodey stated simply. Even if Tony and Pepper were having problems Rhodey didn’t think it was fair to alienate Pepper in regards to something that could potentially be a very big turning point in Tony’s life.

“What? Why should I do that? She’s my girlfriend not my mother. I don’t have to tell her about every little thing I do. She doesn’t tell me about every stupid thing she does all day so why should I bother? I don’t need permission to talk to another woman.” Tony immediately grew defensive but wasn’t exactly sure why. He knew that he should talk to Pepper about it, deep down. But every time he talked to Pepper it turned into a fight and he honestly didn’t have the energy to fight with her about anything anymore. Fighting drained him. This was the first thing he was passionate about besides a robot in a long time and he didn’t want to give it up simply because Pepper could end up being a little jealous.

“Tony.” Rhodey snatched the magazine from the table and held it up so that the cover was looking back at Tony. He didn’t even have to say anything because Tony knew that he had to talk to Pepper as he stared into the dangerous blue eyes looking back at him. Scarlett was likely going to be intimidating for Pepper. Sometimes Tony hated being someone’s boyfriend. The freedom that had been taken away was maddening. He missed it. 

“Point taken.” Tony pouted. He knew he had to talk to her about it even if he didn’t want to. Even if it became a fight he had to at least let her know what he was up to in case it turned up in papers that he was with a woman who had a notoriously risqué past, a past that Tony was _very_ curious about. The fight would be much worse if Pepper had to find out on her own about it rather than Tony letting her know. At least she’d have a heads up when the rumors were published. 

“Good. You’ll fill me in on how it all turns out, right?” Rhodey stood up and started to button his coat. Tony pulled some cash out of his wallet and left it for the tab along with a gracious tip. He always over-tipped, it was sorta his thing. On this occasion he hoped that the bar would welcome them when they returned.

“Always.” Tony picked the magazine off of the table before Rhodey could reach for it and narrowed his eyes at him. “This is mine now.” Rhodey chuckled before shoving his hands in his pockets.

“Fine, keep it. I already read it. Just try not to do anything gross to it if you can help it.”

“I’ll replace it if necessary.” Tony joked and tucked the magazine under his arm as he stood up. It was obvious that Rhodey was done with him for the day and had somewhere else to be. He was grateful to have gotten out of the house and glad he’d agreed to come. It was nice to be with someone who enjoyed his presence even if he’d spent the first half of the conversation alleviating his worry. It was the least he could do after everything Rhodey had put up with over the years.

“Gross.”

“You started it.”

“Look, I’ve got a date in a couple of hours and I’ve got to get ready and then I have a long drive ahead of me.” Rhodey nodded toward the door. “The last thing I need is _that_ mental image.”

“Let me know if you want to do this again next week. You said we should, right? Or was I hallucinating that you said that?”

“Oh, you _were_ listening. I thought you were too busy drooling all over yourself to hear that bit.”

“I listen more than you think I do.” Tony shrugged his shoulders with a smile. “Get out of here. Go impress Olivia. Show her you can dance! Women like that sort of thing.” Tony shoved his free hand in his pocket and searched for his phone. There was a car waiting outside for him that would take him home. He’d anticipated drinking a little and had planned ahead just in case the drinking got out of control. Jarvis would pilot the car he’d driven to the bar home without him. 

“I’ll call you next week, Tony. It’ll be real soon, before you know it. Think about what I said with Pepper, okay?” Rhodey started out the door.

“I will.” Tony nodded though it was something he very much didn’t want to think about anytime soon if he could help it. 

“Oh and if you try to find Olivia before I show her to you, then you’re going to be sorry.” Rhodey spoke as he walked out of the bar without turning around. Tony smirked and shook his head as his friend disappeared from view. 

The drive home was over too quickly as Tony read over the article. Everything that Rhodey had told him about the woman was in there almost exactly as described. It still didn’t explain to him why she was surrounded by S.H.I.E.L.D. detail or anything about her past. It mentioned the British actor whose name Tony immediately forgot. Her past was almost completely unknown and when questioned she mentioned that the past is irrelevant and what matters is the here and now and what they do with the days ahead of them. It was a smart move. By the time he pulled up to his Malibu house in the black town car, Tony was very impressed and more convinced than ever that he had to approach her about his suit and the energy project.

When he got home Pepper was nowhere to be found, much to his relief. Jarvis filled him in on any messages received and how boring it had been after he’d left. Tony threw the magazine down on the coffee table in his living room next to his pile of pillows and blankets that were lying in between the couch and the table. 

“Jarvis?”

“Yes, sir.” The voice followed Tony as he descended the stairs into his laboratory. The mess that he’d made around his desk earlier when he’d had his fit was still there. He’d never instructed his robots to clean it up and somehow seeing the result of his anguish made him _sad_. What had broken inside of his head to make him like this?

“I need you to write an email for me… Only I don’t have contact information for where to send it.”

“That’s never stopped us before. What is this email concerning? Are you perhaps angry with CBS again for canceling yet another clever show? Or for replacing Charlie Sheen with pretty boy Ashton Kutcher?”

“No, no, nothing like that.” Tony couldn’t help but laugh. Even in his worst moments Tony’s smart computer could make him laugh. 

“What a shame. I rather liked that Matthew Perry show.”

“I need you to write up a request for a meeting and a job offer for one Scarlett Damien, CEO and Founder of Refuge in Boston. Tell her I need a response immediately.” The computer didn’t respond for a moment so Tony resorted to picking up the mess around his desk. “Also that Perry show was ABC. Get your references in check, Jarvis.” His efforts were half hearted but at least they were efforts at all. Days prior he wouldn’t have bothered with it and would’ve waited for Jarvis to find a way to take care of it. At least now something inside of him cared whether or not there was a mess in his basement.

“Of course, sir. Address obtained.”

“You’re the best, Jarvis.”

“I know, sir. For the record, there have been so many canceled Matthew Perry shows I have forgotten which station aired what.”

“Touché.”


	4. Bad Press

Pepper Potts returned from a late dinner at around ten in the evening. She had thought about coming home hours earlier out of guilt but had instead chosen to stay out with her best friend and driver, Happy Hogan. One thing had led to another and dinner had turned into drinks and had devolved into talking until they’d lost track of time. The conversation had made her feel cheery and excited again. It was something she hadn’t felt in a very long time. But at the end of the night when the alcohol had worn off Pepper felt nothing but guilt. Somehow she felt she was cheating on the man she’d left at home. So, miserable and dreading returning to the home she shared with Tony, Pepper left the restaurant.

Maybe it was time to sit down with Tony to discuss the inevitable. But what if it ruined the way things had been? What if she lost her job? Pepper wasn’t sure she was going to so easily find another one that paid as well as the one she had with Tony. She had no idea how to even apply for something after so much time had passed. How would she ever find another boss as generous as Tony? Even if he was vilified in the press at times or she was angry with him because of how terrible a boyfriend he’d been in the months past she still cared about him. Tony Stark was still a good man, just not boyfriend material. He was still the best boss that she had ever had and replacing him sounded like a nightmare.

Her entire life would have to change and while she didn’t mind moving out of the Malibu house she was terrified of what else would have to change. She’d grown accustomed to a certain lifestyle being constantly around Tony Stark and having to veer from that path was something she wasn’t yet willing to do. Pepper enjoyed the glamour and glitz of his life. Without him, she’d lose that and have to adjust to being plain old Pepper Potts again. Wasn’t that a selfish reason to stay in a relationship? Pepper was scared. That was perfectly reasonable.

Most of the Malibu mansion was dark and for a brief moment she wasn’t sure if Tony was home. Had he finally gone out of the house? Then she heard the telltale familiar sounds of music in the basement below and knew that he was down there _again_ tinkering with something. It was likely he wouldn’t come to bed again either. She had missed him in bed at first but each time she had invited him back there had been some kind of nightmare or inability to sleep that had driven her crazy. Each time she had sent him to the couch so that he could stay up without keeping her up too. No one could blame her for wanting to get a good night’s sleep, right? 

“I bet he hasn’t even come upstairs all day. I wonder if he’s even bothered to eat or shower,” muttered Pepper. Instead of taking any action in regards to either of those things, Pepper continued upon her usual nighttime routine. She hung her coat in the closet near the door, went into the kitchen and got a fresh cup of tea, then walked into the living room so that she could check the highlights of the news that Jarvis had recorded for her. Then she would likely go downstairs and let Tony know she was home since he had a tendency to get angry when she was nowhere to be found; as though something horrible could’ve happened to her at work without him knowing about it even though Jarvis was wired into every one of Tony’s buildings. At long last she would make her way upstairs into the master bedroom where she would lay down with the television on in the background and read through paperwork until she’d fallen asleep.

Once in the living room Pepper stopped when she saw that the blankets and pillows Tony usually left lying in a messy pile were actually folded up nicely and set at the side of the couch. Had he taken care of it or maybe spoken to the maid about folding it for him? She guessed it was just the maid getting frustrated enough by the mess that she had decided to take matters into her own hands. Folding clothes or blankets was something she had never witnessed Tony do himself.

Even more curious than that there was a magazine lying on the coffee table that Pepper recognized but hadn’t purchased. She recognized it because she had thrown out the same magazine in her office earlier after reading the article about the new businesswoman inside of it. It had annoyed her for some reason to see the success of Refuge when Stark Industries had fallen out of the limelight. Tony had disappeared so all the press seemed to focus on now was the fact that Tony was no longer making public appearances instead of how Stark Industries continued to run smoothly in his absence. Minus a few computer problems and failed tests on the energy conversion process, things were looking up for Stark Industries. 

“What are you doing here, _Scarlett?_ ” Pepper narrowed her eyes at the picture and then looked up at the television that had turned on automatically since her arrival. Pepper set down her cup of tea and picked up the magazine. Leaving the television on, she walked down the stairs to the basement. The concrete dust had been cleaned up, much to her surprise. Her mind wandered back to the magazine.

There were only two explanations for this magazine’s arrival and either way she meant to ask Tony about it. Either he had gone out and retrieved it on his own or he had someone come over and they had given it to him. No matter which it ended up being, Pepper wanted to know who was behind it and why it was still there and not in the garbage where it belonged. Tony very rarely cared about magazines or the media in any way if it wasn’t pertaining to him or his company.

Much to Pepper’s surprise Tony wasn’t working on his suits as he did most of the time but instead was working at his computer and looked more awake and alert then she had seen him in days. He must have gone out of the house for a little bit which had also surprised her. Tony no longer seemed like a social being these days and the fact that he’d gone out left Pepper flabbergasted. Unfortunately he’d gone out after telling _her_ that he didn’t want to go out. Could it be that Tony still enjoyed going out? Maybe he didn’t want to go out with _her_. It rubbed her the wrong way instantly. Why couldn’t he have included her in whatever he’d done that day if, in fact, he had done anything at all? For all Pepper’s efforts to include Tony he never seemed to take the bait. So why couldn’t he make that same effort?

“Tony?” She finally called, sounding harsher than she meant to. He almost jumped out of his chair when she called his name and he looked at her then around his room like he almost didn’t recognize where he was. The mess around his desk had been cleaned up so Pepper didn’t notice the missing monitor or that anything had been amiss.

“What happened to your customary “someone’s coming” message Jarvis?” Tony did his best impression of the robot before turning his attention back to Pepper. He smiled in hopes of easing the mood she was in since she’d already practically snapped his head off.

“I just assumed you heard the television upstairs, sir and would know Miss Potts had returned.” Jarvis responded. “My apologies.”

“Well, I didn’t notice. I was kind of engrossed in all these articles.” Tony immediately wiped said articles out of the air in front of him, leaving only a handful behind. He’d decided to do some research on Scarlett before sending her the email that he’d written up with Jarvis after having discovered her contact information. He wanted to know more about what he was getting into before he sent the offer. Plus he had promised Rhodey that he would discuss it with Pepper before making a move. As much as he didn’t want to do that he knew that he’d made a promise and recently he’d been trying not to break them. After nearly dying in Manhattan it seemed important to keep promises, even if they were little ones.

“Hello to you, too Tony.” Pepper sighed, waiting for Tony to acknowledge her at last. He hadn’t meant to not say anything to her, he’d just been caught up talking to Jarvis.

“That was next. I didn’t hear you come in upstairs. Usually I hear those things…” Tony looked suspiciously to the side. Had he really been that enraptured by the articles about Scarlett that had become increasingly frequent in the past few months? He guessed it was possible though it seemed unlikely. Tony was rarely able to focus on those sorts of things. It helped that these articles came with some rather lovely photos. 

“Did you go somewhere today?” Pepper was already irritated with him. She might as well get right down to what was on her mind rather than deal with pleasantries at this rate. Tony rather missed pleasantries. This was beginning to feel more like an interrogation than Pepper checking in for the night. At least he knew she was safe even if they ended up arguing about something or other afterward. The potential argument ahead of him sounded exhausting just thinking about it. He’d kill for a day without an argument over stupid petty things.

“I did, actually. Is that a problem? You went out today. I’m not glaring at you about it.”

“Yes, but you _never_ go out.”

“I go out all the time, just not recently. You know how much I go out, or at least you used to know back when you were just my assistant.” Tony didn’t mean to sound as snippy as he had and immediately winced. Pepper knew at once that he hadn’t meant it the way it had come out so she let it brush off of her shoulders. Every word wasn’t meant as a dig and he was right. He had once been the most social person she had ever known just lately he’d taken to hiding in the basement and remaining hidden away from the rest of the world. The reasons why didn’t seem to matter to her. 

“You could’ve just told me you didn’t want to spend the day with me if you wanted to go out alone or with someone else. You don’t have to make excuses to avoid me.” Pepper turned her gaze away from him and hardened her features so she wouldn’t show that she was hurt.

“What?” Tony had absolutely no idea what she was talking about. Of course he hadn’t avoided going out with her on purpose! When she’d asked him to go out he had genuinely wanted to stay home and work on his new device. But then one thing had led to another and the house had suffocated him. It was too hard to remain inside alone. Then Rhodey had called and provided the perfect way out. It had turned out that a breath of fresh air was all he needed to find his drive again and to renew the comfort his basement laboratory brought.

“I asked you to go out with me today and you made this huge deal about not going. And then you went out without me. It seems obvious.”

“I made a huge deal over it?” Tony sounded skeptical. “Look, it’s not what you think. I got a call from Rhodey about going for a few drinks a little bit after you left. I needed some fresh air and time away from my anti-gravity thing so I met him at a bar down the street. It’s not a big deal, I swear.”

“Right.” Pepper seemed offended that he had gone out without her. Tony wondered if she realized that this particular situation had absolutely nothing to do with her. It couldn’t always be about her, it was about what he was going through. For a few moments he had considered that she might have been proud of him for making it out of the house for the afternoon. Tony realized that apparently it wasn’t about him staying inside, it was about Pepper getting what she wanted.

“What do you want, Pepper?” Tony knew she had come down there for a reason and had asked those questions to get to some point. Obviously he’d left something lying around somewhere that let her know he’d gone out. Or maybe it was because he had cleaned up a bit that she had guessed. He waited for the axe to drop at any moment. How had she known he’d gone out? He hadn’t really left any telltale signs hanging around and he doubted that Jarvis would tell her. They had a maid come in every so often so it couldn’t have been _too_ much of a surprise that things were tidied up.

“What’s this?” Pepper held up the magazine that Rhodey had given Tony earlier, or rather that Tony had taken from Rhodey and made his own. He must have left it upstairs earlier when he’d folded his blankets. That would explain everything about Pepper’s attitude. She must have found the magazine and realized that he had to have gone out to obtain it. There would be no hesitating in telling Pepper about his plans, no time to soften the blow. He’d have to tell her now since she already found the magazine. Somehow Tony felt like a small child who had hidden a porn stash under his bed and had been discovered by his mother. There was no reason for him to feel like he was keeping secrets. He really wasn’t. It’s not like he’d seen Pepper since he’d made the decision to contact Scarlett. 

“Well, it’s a magazine.” Tony began apprehensively. Pepper dropped her hands at her sides and leaned her head back, exasperated.

“Yes, but how did you get the magazine? And _why_ do you have it?”

“Rhodey had a copy of it at the bar and let me read it so I took it home with me because it was interesting. Between you and me I think he’s a bit of a gossip.” Tony answered simply. For some reason he was having a very difficult time getting to the point that Pepper obviously wanted to discuss. He knew he wouldn’t manage to avoid it so he procrastinated. It would give him time to think up the proper wording and a way to tell Pepper that would get him into less trouble or perhaps make the argument less painful for them both.

“You know what I mean, Tony. Why does everything have to be difficult with you? Why do you have the magazine? What’s so important about it? I didn’t think this kind of thing would interest you.” Pepper held it up again and waited for a response. She had a feeling there was more to it than he let on. Tony was avoiding talking about it and that was usually how she discovered when he was keeping secrets. Tony kept far more secrets than she ever could’ve guessed but things like this Pepper was easily able to uncover. It seemed like the more important secrets, the more relevant and disastrous ones, she didn’t have much interest in. Or at least that’s what it felt like to Tony. 

“Her company went public yesterday. Refuge.” Tony nodded finally, slumping his shoulders and addressing the magazine in Pepper’s hand. “Did you know that? It’s a pretty big deal.”

“Yes, I think I would be acutely aware of when our _competition_ goes public in record time considering her company was only founded a few months ago.” Pepper narrowed her eyes at him dangerously. She seemed to already have an inkling toward what was going on in the back of his mind. “I didn’t think you knew who she was.”

“Well, I didn’t until today. It’s not like I watch television much anymore and the news bores me most of the time. Who cares about some kitten being saved from a tree? It’s cute and all but I hate watching those fluff stories in order to get to the real news.” Tony cleared his throat and tossed around a few words in his mind. He hoped he could lead into the subject gently “It’s pretty inventive, what she’s accomplished.”

“Of course it’s inventive, Tony. She’s an inventor. It’s kicked Stark Industries completely out of the limelight. I’m surprised you’re so impressed.” Pepper began haughtily.

“I know, _I know_. Calm yourself, Pepper. Not every word I say is designed to hurt or insult you.”

“You’re hiding something and it’s irritating me.” Pepper crossed her arms over her chest, rolling up the magazine. Tony considered she might swat him on the nose with it like a disobedient dog.

“You’ve been down here with me for three minutes, has my procrastinating _really_ bothered you that much? Can you not squish the magazine like that? Her face is getting all wrinkled and it’s not _mine_ so you know… use a stress ball or something, seriously Pepper. Don’t destroy other people’s things” Tony got up from his seat and walked over to her before cautiously taking her hands and removing the magazine from them gingerly in hopes she wouldn’t lash out at him as he continued.

“You’re right.” Pepper sighed and let go of the magazine without destroying it and took a step back. She often had very little patience for Tony considering their only interaction was arguing half the time. It had taken its toll on her but her being short with him had only made the fights more frequent and more frustrating. She had to make an effort not to instantly jump to conclusions.

“That’s a phrase I’ve missed.” Tony smirked.

“Don’t push it.”

“Don’t? What’s that word? I am not familiar with it. It’s obviously a conjunction of some kind.” Tony couldn’t help but smile but Pepper didn’t seem amused in the very least. She used to find his humor charming. 

“Tony, what are you getting at?”

“Why do I have to be getting at something? She’s pretty, Rhodey had it with him. I took it to read.” Tony rolled his eyes and walked away. Things had gone well for about ten seconds. Rhodey’s words echoed again in the back of his mind. Was he really sticking it out with Pepper because he thought it was too difficult to address other options? The more he tossed it over in his mind the more he considered that it was the truth. Still, Tony had no idea how to begin making changes.

“You’re such a pig.” Pepper rolled her eyes.

“She’s brilliant, okay? From what I read and what I’ve discovered since then she’s… she’s _brilliant!_ And Refuge is a _good_ company so you shouldn’t be calling them our rivals. This woman is accomplishing something amazing.” 

“They _are_ our rivals, Tony! That’s part of the business, remember?”

“She’s not working on energy development, is she? That makes Refuge _not_ our direct rival!” Tony pointed at the magazine before setting it down on the desk that he had earlier cleaned.

“Tony! They’re a technological development corporation like us! Just because it’s not energy research _now_ doesn’t mean it won’t be later. And you act like that’s all Stark Industries does. Our developments have been top of the line, revolutionary, until _now_. Refuge is the talk of the town so that makes them our rivals. Our competition. I’m not going to roll over and play dead because some leggy mystery woman crawled out of the shadows.” Pepper narrowed her eyes. Something rubbed her the wrong way about Refuge and Scarlett. She’d been following the press reluctantly after having tried to avoid it for the longest time. She didn’t like Scarlett and she kept hoping the whole thing would blow over and fade into obscurity. Either that or something about her past would finally come to light and she’d end up in prison. It was unsavory and rather uncharacteristic of Pepper but she couldn’t help it. Something just bugged her about the woman.

“Fine! Fine. They are our direct competition. But you _are_ looking at this the wrong way. Refuge doesn’t have to be the enemy just because they’re our competition. Scarlett Damien isn’t the enemy, that’s for sure!” Tony argued but Pepper was already shaking her head.

“If you were doing what I did everyday…”

“Pepper, I kept this company running for years. I have done what you do every day for most of my life, so don’t act like I’m incapable or that you know better than I do just because things have been different for the past few months.” Tony lowered his voice dangerously and glared at Pepper. She was taken aback by the sudden turn in attitude and stunned into silence. “You think we haven’t had competitors that made me nervous about stealing Stark’s limelight? Come on, this is kid stuff. But you can’t ignore what’s happening. That’s the worst thing you could do. Yes, right now it’s _all_ about Refuge in the news. If we oppose them then all it does is give them better press and vilify us.”

“Why do you think I haven’t done anything about it?”

“Pepper if there’s one thing I’m good at then it’s making _everything_ about me. You should know that better than most.” Tony couldn’t help but smirk though Pepper wasn’t amused. She didn’t like where this was going. “I’m going to offer a partnership between Stark and Refuge. She can offer some insight into the technology for the energy project and some personal things I’m working on with my suits…”

“Your _suits_? Tony!” Pepper looked completely outraged by the notion. “You barely let Rhodey touch them, why would you…”

“That prosthesis technology she’s come up with? I need that. It’s a good way to get into her head without actually inquiring about the project in itself. It’s a smart move, Pepper.” Tony acted like the decision had already been made. He hadn’t done anything publically for Stark Industries in months, but it wasn’t like he’d forgotten how to run his company in that short time. It was the first occasion in just as long that he’d had any interest in working on something _other_ than his Iron Man suits. He thought Pepper would be proud of him because it would get him consistently out of the house each day and back into the office. That was huge progress for someone in his position, wasn’t it? But Pepper seemed none too pleased. In fact, she was scowling something fierce. 

“Tony, you don’t know all the details about her. You don’t know if she’s worth trusting.”

“I don’t need to know if she is.”

“This woman is nothing but trouble! Her press isn’t positive at all. It won’t reflect well on Stark Industries to partner with her _or_ Refuge. It’s going to make us look like we have secrets.” Pepper scolded.

“So _this_ is what you call bad press?” Tony picked up the magazine he’d set down and held it up. From what he could remember the article had done nothing but praise Refuge’s advancements and Scarlett’s charitable efforts. “There is no such thing as bad press. Any press at all means that people want to hear about you and if Stark Industries partners with her then the press? They’re going to want to know why. Without realizing it, suddenly we’re sharing _her_ publicity and it’s become about us.” 

“But it’s _bad_ publicity! People will ask why we trust her! Why we want to get in over our heads!”

“You weren’t listening to me at _all,_ were you?” Tony sighed heavily. 

“Tony, you just found out about Refuge today. You don’t _know_ what I know about this!” Pepper was pleading with him now. Even though she had been acting CEO of the company in Tony’s stead she knew that ultimately Tony could override her decision. If she could convince him of what she already knew thanks to her instincts it would make her life much easier. “This woman is bad news. Scarlett? There’s something off about her. You can tell that she’s got secrets and nasty ones at that.”

“Everyone has secrets, Pepper. Even you.”

“Not like this. Someday those secrets of hers are going come out in public. Even someone with her money and power can’t hide in the shadows forever. With everything Stark Industries has already been through in the last few years what with the shift from dealing weaponry to technology and you and your… well, being you, we can’t afford to have her demons coming to knock us down when they finally overwhelm her. The backlash isn’t going to be worth it. Refuge is a phase, Tony. When it passes Stark Industries will still be there reliably waiting to pick up the pieces. We don’t need to be in the limelight all the time anymore! You’re a household name. Her history is something we should _not_ get involved in. Plus, have you seen her romantic life in the papers? She runs through men almost as fast as you went through women. We can’t have this, Tony. This would be too much of a scandal. Particularly since it’s _you…_ ”

“If bad press really mattered so much I’d be penniless and living on the streets.” Tony scoffed. What did it matter that this woman had some mystery surrounding her? It only made her more intriguing, at least to him. What was she hiding? What was S.H.I.E.L.D. doing with her at press conferences as her security detail? If he wanted to know the answers to these questions then undoubtedly so did the press and so did the people buying magazines with her face on the cover. She wasn’t getting bad press from what Tony could tell. Yes, she was getting controversial press but that and bad press weren’t one in the same. Besides, Pepper couldn’t argue that bad press was the reason not to partner with Refuge. Tony had a bad reputation from his youth and he’d held true to it until the past few years when he’d become Iron Man.

Even then his reputation had lingered on. There was only so much a man like him could change over time. Tony still garnered bad press to that day. Every minute longer he stayed inside of his house and out of the public eye the news got worse about him. Pepper should’ve been proud of him for wanting to get involved in a project that got him out of the house! Wasn’t that important? He guessed it wasn’t as important as what _she_ wanted.

“This could be a good move for Stark Industries.” Tony wondered if he could convince her of that. There had been a time where Tony could’ve talked a fish into jumping into a frying pan and be grateful for it. It hadn’t always worked with Pepper. She seemed to always know when he’d been working an angle. After years of watching him manipulating people with his words she’d been able to unravel them easily.

“Don’t even start.”

“Besides getting our name back in the papers teaming up with Refuge would provide an entirely new stream of revenue. Whatever it costs to pay her I can guarantee you that it’s going to be less than what we’re going to bring in because of her. Not to mention the insight she’s going to provide on current projects and what I’m building down here. The partnership between our companies could be incredibly lucrative. The advancements we could come up with together could be life changing.” Tony was only informing Pepper of what his plans were as a courtesy now. And he’d only done so because Rhodey had mentioned it. It hadn’t occurred to him what Pepper would think about contacting Scarlett until he’d said something. Yes, she was very attractive, yes, she was dangerous and that was kinda sexy, but it was Tony’s company that was on the line, not Tony’s reputation. Pepper didn’t get to make those kinds of decisions about his life. No one did except for him. 

Refuge was the first thing that had interested him outside of his basement in months. It was the first thing he’d considered doing without having to battle the death grip on his lungs that made him practically suffocate when he’d least expected it. The mystery woman with the bright blue eyes and S.H.I.E.L.D. detail seemed to oddly draw him in through the magazine that was staring at him from the desk. Tony had already made up his mind. As far as he was concerned, this was all a formality no matter how big a fit Pepper threw about it.

“You’re already down here too often! The last thing you need is someone _keeping_ you down here.” Pepper was having a hard time finding a valid argument outside of a bad feeling and her dislike for the woman’s reputation. “If you’re not down here you’re sleeping on the couch.”

“And whose fault is that?” Tony spat out before he’d realized it. Pepper looked outraged.

“You never want to spend time with me! You never sleep!”

“Because you’re always yelling at me about something or other when we’re together! Why would I want to be with someone that always yells at me and nags me? You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. And I _can’t_ sleep. There’s a difference!”

“Excuse me?” Pepper’s voice was so high pitched with anger Tony could barely make out the words but he didn’t care. If Pepper wasn’t willing to listen to what he was about to say then he was done talking.

“I can’t read your mind.” Tony narrowed his eyes at her. “You come stomping in her everyday like I’ve done something wrong so of course I’m hiding down here. I can’t fix something that I don’t know is broken and there is nothing I do better than fixing things. You know that.” Pepper went to open her mouth but he continued, his hands shaking in frustration. As much as he wanted to address his current struggles and the things that kept him up all night long and cooped up in the basement he couldn’t seem to. “If I want to spend my free time down here in the basement thinking of ways to protect people then that’s my decision and you don’t get to say a damn thing about it. I don’t tell you what to do with your free time so you don’t get to decide what I do with mine.”

“Tony!” Pepper shouted to try and interrupt him.

“I don’t have anything more to say to you. This is what I’m doing with Refuge. It’s going to get me out of the basement. You’ve conveniently ignored that in your little argument.”

“You’re impossible!” Pepper looked at him, slack jawed and unsure of what else to say. Tony had half hoped that she would finally realize that the barrier that was built between them had been built by her, not by him. It had taken him a long time to realize that he hadn’t been completely at fault. Of course, it took two to tango and to create problems but he couldn’t be the only one making a conscious effort to fix things. If Pepper needed him to change who he was to love him then he wasn’t the man for her in the first place. Tony had worked hard to become even partially a good man. Didn’t that matter? Realizing that Tony had nothing else to say to her on the subject and wasn’t going to apologize for what he’d said she turned around and marched back upstairs and out of view.

“Living together is what’s impossible.” Tony muttered beneath his breath. Turning back to the computer desk he flopped into his chair with a heavy sigh. His eyes were burning and he felt exhausted, more exhausted than he had felt in weeks. Talking to Pepper about even a margin of their issues had drained him. Maybe for once he’d sleep without seeing his eventual death in front of his eyes.

He still hadn’t told her that he was struggling with that. When he’d been arguing with her and trying to point out the craziness that they’d been going through for months he’d considered it. But when he’d gone to say it he’d hesitated. He recalled the night he finally tried to tell her that nothing was right with him. He didn’t feel like himself and something was seriously wrong. He kept having these attacks that threw him off and scared him enough that he refused to go outside. When he closed his eyes he saw monstrosities. Sometimes his hands shook when he heard loud noises and often he couldn’t control his renegade thoughts or even his breathing. It had taken almost all of his nerve to share that he was struggling that night with Pepper and to have been dismissed had been a form of rejection.

It had only made things worse. He didn’t blame Pepper at all; he blamed himself. Why couldn’t he get himself under control? When he thought about how silly it all seemed when he said it out loud he felt terrible, even pathetic. Pathetic was one thing Tony had never felt in all his life until then. He’d been the top of his game in everything he’d ever done. Why couldn’t he perform the daily functions he’d performed for years without a second thought? Even showering seemed too taxing.

What was happening to him? 

He couldn’t panic about it, not now. If panicking was what he was doing after all. Tony had no idea what a panic attack was supposed to feel like and had nothing to compare it against. Even looking it up seemed silly to him. Besides, he was Tony Stark, he couldn’t have panic attacks! That was the most ridiculous thing he’d ever heard. No one would believe it. But the more he thought about it the more he knew the truth. If that was really the case then what had broken inside of him to cause them? How did he get so ruined? Where were the pieces that were going to put him back together? At this rate he wasn’t sure how much longer he was going to last before he lost his mind. 

Tony realized he was spacing out and blinked when he realized how dry his eyes had become. His gaze then fell on the magazine on his desk and he picked it back up. How many times had he reread the article on Refuge? How many hours had he spent investigating Refuge and its CEO? The blue eyed woman stared back at him from the paper. He could’ve sworn that she really _saw_ through him even through the glossy cover. The notion was crazy and he knew it wasn’t true but the thought kept returning to his mind over and over again. 

Pepper didn’t seem to think that she was as good for him as he seemed to. Or wait, for Stark Industries, not for him. Tony wasn’t sure why he kept confusing the two. Maybe he’d represented his company for so long that he thought they were one in the same when he, in fact, knew that was far from the truth. He’d neglected his company for so long he knew he was going to have to do some serious work in order to get things back to the way they once were. The task had once seemed daunting but now it almost seemed inviting. It was a new distraction, a new challenge built out of something he already had.

One step at a time though, he thought. He had to get Scarlett to agree to work with him first and from what he read he wasn’t sure how easy a task that would be. Surely the fact that he was who he was would give him some leeway. What engineer didn’t want to work with Tony Stark? Plus Stark Industries was one of the most lucrative companies on the planet. It would be absurd of her to reject the offer. If persistence was what was required of Tony to make it happen then he would do it no problem.

Tony knew that the fallout in his household would be catastrophic if he went ahead and contacted her even though Pepper had argued with him tooth and nail not to. Could he really throw the opportunity away simply because she had a bad feeling? It was too tempting, Tony couldn’t help himself. It was the first time he’d felt anything besides fear and anxiety since he’d returned from Manhattan. There was no way he could let that feeling go. 

“Jarvis, do you still have that email to Scarlett and her people that we wrote up earlier?” Tony turned his attention away from the magazine and glanced back at the holographic screens that jumped to life in front of his eyes as though they had never dimmed when Pepper had come down to see him. 

“Yes, sir. Which draft would you like to see?” Four different documents appeared in front of him, each resizing so that they could fit into a neat square in front of Tony. Some were lengthier than others that were shorter and to the point. The last one had been a combination of the two, vaguely enticing the reader with the projects he wished to discuss.

“The last one. Send it.”

“Are you positive, sir? You seemed apprehensive earlier and Miss Potts…”

“Miss Potts is wrong, Jarvis. I need to do this. I think you know that already.” Tony wiped away the three drafts and the one that remained expanded and filled up the space the others had occupied. If anyone could see that he was struggling, it was Jarvis. Unfortunately, Jarvis was just an intelligent computer; there was little he could do besides follow orders.

“Yes, sir.” Jarvis responded. As quickly as it had appeared the document had folded up and flown away in the shape of a paper airplane across the basement. Tony leaned back in his chair. There was no second guessing his decision now. He’d have to wait for Scarlett to get back to him, or one of her people, on the offer made. It was such a tempting offer he was sure it would be sometime the next day. It wasn’t very often that Tony’s emails were ignored by much of anyone. “Sir?”

“Yeah, Jarvis?” Tony looked up at the ceiling toward no one in particular.

“You did the right thing.” Jarvis’ voice sounded oddly concerned but also tinged with a warmth Tony hadn’t programmed him with. He was always surprised by that when it came to his computer. 

“Thanks, Jarvis.” Usually he would’ve said something snarky in response but today wasn’t one of those days. Someone needed to be proud of Tony for sticking to his guns. If the only one willing to do that was an artificial being of his own making Tony would take it. Tony exhaled deeply and leaned back in his chair. Perhaps even Tony’s computer had realized that he’d needed someone to assure him he wasn’t losing his mind. Tony was still partially certain that he was. 


	5. Making An Entrance

“It would probably be easier to get a read on you if you sat still for just a few minutes.” The woman with straight black shoulder length hair looked up from the deck of cards she was holding gingerly in her hands. There was an unnatural streak of white, framing her face on the right side of her head. If that didn’t make her stand out enough then her eyes surely would. One of them was brown while the other was blue. It gave her a sort of haunted look but there was warmth behind them that was also inviting. Despite her odd appearance she was lovely. “Here, I need you to cut the deck. You know how this goes.” She set down the pile of cards on an oval glass table in front of the tan leather couch she sat on. Everything in the office was as modern looking as the couch and table were. 

“I don’t believe in this tarot card nonsense.” The woman she spoke to was standing behind a glass desk the same style as the table at the far end of the room. It seemed she had a hard time keeping still so she kept shuffling piles of paper on her desk.

“Scarlett, you need to be prepared.” The woman on the couch pled. 

“Jinx, we’ll do it later.” Scarlett’s nervous features softened when she saw the worry worsen in the girl’s multicolored eyes. Jinx shook her head adamantly and tapped the cards as if to insist. When Scarlett had met Jinx the first words out of her mouth had been that she’d predicted death and pain in her immediate future. That wasn’t a very good first impression but Scarlett rather liked how honest Jinx was. Jinx’s real name was Julianna Bennett but when no one else was around Scarlett called her Jinx. The name had been given to her as a code at S.H.I.E.L.D., where she had worked before becoming Scarlett’s secretary at Refuge.

“We need to prepare for what is to come, Scarlett.” Jinx smiled warily. “Things have been pretty good for you the past few days. Perhaps even a little too good.”

“That’s remarkable since you keep telling me every morning that I have the mark of death on me and spitting through your fingers as if to ward it off.” Scarlett rolled her eyes but smiled anyway. “I have to get changed, there’s still a long day ahead of me and this dress is not fit for what I plan on doing with the rest of it.” Scarlett acknowledged the high necked sleeveless blue chiffon dress that cut off just above her knees that she had worn earlier to a meeting. The press had been allowed to sit in and observe the results of Refuge’s first few days in a public forum. It had gone well considering the rumors that had started that morning about her dating one of her investors. “My luck must be really bad for you to look at me like that. It must be all of those mirrors I broke in Hong Kong. Or maybe the ladders I walked underneath in Switzerland.”

“This isn’t a joke!” Jinx pouted but couldn’t help but find amusement in Scarlett’s jest. “I’m looking out for you. That’s my job.”

“You’re supposed to be my secretary, that’s your real job. I’m perfectly capable of looking after myself.” Despite her words Scarlett grabbed one of the two chairs in front of her desk and dragged it over to the table where Jinx had set down her cards. She had learned with time that it would be easier for her to alleviate Jinx’s fears rather than argue with her about them. Jinx was relentless when it came to superstitions and protecting her friends from the inevitable. She’d been told the woman had a gift for predictions by some reliable people but it was hard to believe when Scarlett held no stock in such foolish things. It was all well and good that other people did but she certainly had no interest in her bad luck or the death that lay ahead of her. 

Apparently. 

She wasn’t quite convinced that anything Jinx predicted was spot on.

“We both know that’s not true.” Jinx saw Scarlett’s hand stop on the deck of cards and could feel the woman’s blue eyes glaring through her like ice. When Scarlett wanted to she could very easily look intimidating. “I meant about the secretary thing, not the taking care of yourself thing.” Jinx corrected with an apprehensive look. She was often abrupt and spoke her mind without thinking and it tended to cause her some awkward social moments. Overall, she meant well.

“Do your damn fortune telling or whatever this nonsense is called.” Scarlett cut the deck of cards and then leaned back in her chair, checking the clock on the wall habitually. She liked to keep as busy as possible and with Refuge doing so well that wasn’t difficult. Keeping busy kept her mind from wandering and there was nothing more dangerous than a wandering mind, particularly of her caliber. Jinx grabbed the cut deck and placed the top nine cards face down in front of her. The middle card was set down last as was her tradition.

One by one she flipped the cards and Scarlett proceeded to ignore the omens of death that followed. It was always bad luck and great suffering with her. Omen after omen spewed from Jinx’s lips, or at least it usually did. 

Today seemed to be different.

“The meeting.” Jinx’s words cut through Scarlett’s renegade thoughts. It was a card that had never been flipped for her before. The sessions had happened daily for awhile, sometimes even on the weekends when Scarlett had been working on things unrelated to her company and Jinx had shown up mysteriously at her door in a haze. She’d tried to pretend she wasn’t home the first time but Jinx had kept knocking until she’d answered. The woman claimed she was compelled to warn her of the future and brought her a good luck charm. Scarlett had a whole drawer of good luck charms at home.

“What does that one mean? That’s new.”

“You’re going to have an encounter with someone that will change the course of your life.”

“Thanks Merriam Webster.” Scarlett scoffed. Jinx threw her a look but then flipped over the next card. 

“Oh, Temptation. I like where this is going.”

“Well, it’s certainly better than predicting I’m going to be crushed by a building.” Scarlett had gotten that prediction a number of times in the last week and yet every building she had walked into had somehow managed to keep it together. She’d actually made a point of telling that to Jinx whenever they went somewhere together. For awhile she’d sent her text messages assuring her that nothing had collapsed and her fortune telling wasn’t working right. Jinx had insisted that the cards never lie and eventually a building would come down on her. Scarlett knew that ultimately the cards were just pieces of papers with some pictures on them. There was no magic to them, only superstition and most of that was garbage in her opinion. Scarlett was far too grounded in the rational world to believe in such things. She would’ve been dead a long time ago if she’d fallen for the predictions of fortune tellers.

“This meeting you’re going to have today… or soon perhaps, the cards aren’t specific about timing… it’s going to offer you a great temptation. Whether or not this temptation is good or bad remains to be seen.”

“Temptation is almost always good in my opinion.” Scarlett curled her lips into a smile. It was something she had often used to her advantage, temptation. Looking the way she did, which the press had pointed out far more than she would like, offered her a variety of opportunities to use temptation as a tool.

“Every romance novel I’ve read argues against that. People who fall for temptation often have a terrible fate.” Jinx laughed but then flipped the next card to be read. “The Pest.”

“Please don’t tell me we’re getting bedbugs. I really don’t want bedbugs.” Scarlett was having a very hard time taking the reading seriously as she always did. Jinx had long since grown used to the woman’s sardonic comments. It had never bothered her. She wasn’t the type to expect everyone to believe in the supernatural or the things she predicted but she was strong in her faith nonetheless.

“No, the meaning of this card is unclear. Perhaps it shall reveal itself as we flip more or when things come to light.” Jinx flipped another card. “Surprise. Oh _no._ ” Jinx scowled.

“Oh, I remember this one. It’s always bad, right? It’s also The Gift though depending on how you read it. It’s never The Gift for me, is it?”

“Yes, but in conjunction with the cards we’ve flipped and it’s positioning to the right of the center it’s read as Surprise. The Gift is often rare.” Jinx was always happy to explain how the readings went.

“I hate Surprise. Why can’t I ever get The Gift? Maybe you’re wrong. Maybe I’m going to have a meeting with someone who wants me to be a Maserati spokesperson. But it’ll be infested with bed bugs?” Scarlett curled her lip as she thought about the possibility. Even Jinx couldn’t help but laugh. Scarlett broke the tension with jokes when she was nervous. Something about this morning’s reading was making her uneasy. There was no way to explain why, she just had a feeling. Scarlett _hated_ having feelings. It gave validity to her friend’s superstition. 

Jinx’s predictions had been steadily filled with bad luck and predictions of death, illness, and mayhem since they met. Positive predictions were making Scarlett very uncomfortable especially for someone who didn’t believe in this nonsense. 

“No, it’s definitely Surprise and I doubt it has anything to do with a car.” Jinx’s eyes lit up as the next card turned over. Directly beneath temptation now sat the Dark Haired Stranger. Scarlett stared at the card and then back at Jinx who had a very familiar look in her eyes. It was the same look she got when she was talking with her friend about some smutty novel she was reading. “There’s…”

“Don’t do it! Don’t say it.” Scarlett warned, pointing a finger at her threateningly. “Put that thought away. Keep it to yourself! The press does this enough to me. I don’t need it from you too!”

“The temptation in your life is going to be brought by a dark haired man.” Jinx couldn’t help but grin. “And the temptation will be very great, Scarlett. A dark haired man is going to bring romance into your future.”

“You are my least favorite person in the world right now.” Scarlett pouted. Rumors had spread endlessly about every person she’d ever gone to lunch with. There were, of course, times when there had been validity to the rumors but Scarlett wasn’t interested in romance or what usually followed. Sometimes a woman had needs that needed to be fulfilled too. But the press fed on stories like that and things had spiraled out of control. Now every time she went to lunch with an attractive person she was having a romantic tryst. It was ridiculous. Now even the cards were getting in on the action.

“Smooches.” Jinx pursed her lips as though she was going to blow a kiss and then turned over the next card. As Scarlett had grown accustomed to, the remaining cards predicted death and suffering in her near future. The cards were very intent on her suffering for a very long time. Jinx was so incredibly excited by the idea of Scarlett having a new love affair that she was completely nonplussed by the threat of danger. Usually by this time Jinx was throwing good luck charms at her left and right and sticking them in any pockets or bags she could find. Scarlett had begun to purposely wear formfitting dresses so that she wouldn’t wind up with some evil eye in her pocket during an interview. It had happened once and she’d had a hell of a time explaining it away without sounding like a nut job.

“So, I’m still going to be crushed by a building and death is following me. Okay, that about sums up everything you’ve said to me in the last three months.” Scarlett smoothed out her skirt as she got up from her seat on the white chair across from Jinx. The fortune teller cleaned up her cards and stood up immediately. Reaching into her pocket she pulled out a coin with a square hole in the center and held it out for Scarlett.

“Take this! To ward off your bad luck. Even though it wasn’t as bad as usual.” Jinx smiled though she knew Scarlett wouldn’t take it. Later she’d stick it in her desk just in case.

“Look, I don’t believe in this stuff. Fate and fortune? It’s all what you make of each day. The bad luck I have, that follows me? It’s my own making. You know that already.” Scarlett knew her words were falling on deaf ears as she watched Jinx’s eyes glaze over. The woman believed so strongly in her predictions that when Scarlett ignored them she nearly went into denial.

“Take the coin.”

“No.” Scarlett walked away from Jinx and back to her desk, dragging the chair with her. 

“The cards never lie.”

“Look, there may be some kind of terror in my future but if that’s the case then it is only because of my past and the bed I’ve made for myself.” Scarlett shuffled papers on her desk again, implying what most could only guess at. She made it a point not to speak of her history even in her own office. She never trusted it was safe to talk there. Too many strangers came in and out of her sleek modern office every day. “It was no design by a greater deity, but of my own making. These cards, if they’re picking up anything at all, it is only because of my current predicament.” Scarlett turned to face Jinx, leaning so her backside rested against the desk. “I’ve got to run to a meeting downstairs. Are we done with this ridiculous ritual of yours?”

“Until tomorrow.” Jinx smiled sympathetically at her boss and followed her out of her office. The dark haired woman took her spot behind the desk outside of it and slipped her cards in her top drawer. She was Scarlett’s personal assistant and had grown accustomed to the position. Her area was decorated with a combination of quirky art and good luck charms with a few romance novels scattered here and there. “That reminds me…”

“Yes?” Scarlett checked her makeup in the mirror on Jinx’s desk, making sure that her lipstick hadn’t gotten messed up on the ride back from her last meeting. 

“Your appointment at S.H.I.E.L.D. is tomorrow morning. Mickey will pick you up at eight to provide a cover for the press as an investor.” Jinx seemed grim in her delivery but Scarlett paid her no mind. Secret meetings at S.H.I.E.L.D. were obviously no big deal to her.

“Add it to my calendar if you can. Tomorrow morning is too far away for me to think about.” Scarlett smoothed out her dress again nervously and hesitated before walking down the hall. Days filled with boring meetings were definitely an adjustment for her. Scarlett didn’t seem fit for this sort of life but no one else seemed to have noticed. The media hailed her as a natural at her job and kept asking about her job history and where she’d studied. 

None of that had been revealed, of course, except that she had once studied at Cambridge University. Scarlett’s life was as much a mystery as she could keep it without getting into trouble. Checking her phone before she got into the elevator that would take her downstairs through the sleek modern open concept building, Scarlett responded again to an email from Stark Industries CEO Tony Stark. At first she’d thought it’d been a joke but then had done her research and found it was a genuine offer. This would be the second rejection email she would send to him. Scarlett didn’t have the time or energy to take on any new projects. Besides, she was sure S.H.I.E.L.D. would not approve her working with Iron Man on anything. 

The email stayed in the back of her mind as she sat through a meeting with the engineers and physicists she had hired to work on the developments that had approved patents and were in the manufacturing phase. It was particularly boring listening to them stumble on their words in her presence. She had a tendency to intimidate people just by being in the room, even though she wasn’t exactly sure why. In her mind she thought she was relatable, receptive, and even friendly to her employees. Maybe they’d spent too much time reading the papers and believed half the nonsense that was printed about her.

She wondered why Stark Industries would contact her _now_ , after so much time had passed since Refuge had emerged from the wreckage of her battered past. It would be bad enough that she would have to deal with the rumors that would surely emerge about them joining forces but now she’d have to come up with a proper reason as to _why_ she would reject the offer. She certainly couldn’t tell them that she’d never liked Stark Industries and had always thought that they were an overrated company led by an overrated semi-celebrity. 

It sounded harsh even in her head. Scarlett finished up her meeting, mostly sitting in silence through its entirety before giving out opinions she’d formulated while her mind was occupied with a thousand other things. Being a CEO was never on her list of things to do in life. As much as Scarlett enjoyed telling other people what to do she was more of a hands-on person and a loner.

She barely recalled getting into her office afterward. Her mind was otherwise occupied. Jinx had likely greeted her and told her about the messages she’d gotten from the press, investors, employees, the government, S.H.I.E.L.D., but she had ignored them or had likely said to send them to her in an email. Routine was slowly killing Scarlett piece by piece and she wondered secretly how long it would be before she would snap. But she couldn’t afford to snap and that was what kept her chugging along each day.

On her desk there was a cup of strong coffee waiting and Scarlett was at once grateful for it. She’d have to remember to thank Jinx later. Even if the woman was initially assigned to her by S.H.I.E.L.D. as a method of keeping a close eye on her, Scarlett had grown fond of having her around. Scarlett didn’t have many friends and she couldn’t thanks to her newfound celebrity. Jinx didn’t seem to necessarily align herself with S.H.I.E.L.D. decisions despite working directly for them. Thinking about S.H.I.E.L.D. and why they were watching her made her nervous and she shoved it to the back of her mind, refusing to think about it further.

She had only mere seconds to react when she caught something flying through the air out of the corner of her eye! Standing up she tried to get a better look but it was moving too fast. Her balcony doors suddenly crashed open on their hinges as something metallic slammed through them like a bullet. Instinctively she ducked behind the desk and covered her head to keep shattered glass from cutting her or getting in her eyes as it flew across her office. Was she under attack? Beneath her desk was hidden a handgun and a hunting knife in a secret compartment. Grabbing the gun she stood back up, hunched over the desk as not to make herself a target. She had to see what had attacked her. It was obviously not a missile since nothing had exploded. 

Much to her surprise, standing in the middle of her office surrounded by shattered glass and pieces of the frame of her balcony door stood the unmistakable Iron Man. Glimmering orange and red in front of her the machinery was more than impressive. She kept her gun hidden out of sight below the desk. Still she didn’t let go of it. There was no way to know _why_ he was there. Where was Jinx? Where was her S.H.I.E.L.D. backup? Clearly they weren’t as prepared for a sudden attack like Scarlett was.

The armor easily pulled away from the pilot’s face, retracting back into the remaining armor. Tony Stark was beneath it and looking rather pleased with himself for his abrupt entrance. His usual devil may care look remained completely intact despite how it should’ve been disheveled thanks to traveling in his suit. If that was how he’d arrived, of course. Scarlett couldn’t possibly know. Hand still on her gun, she contemplated aiming it just to show him what happened to people who snuck up on her. However, she figured that would probably raise far too many questions and land her in jail. 

“What the _hell_?” She finally managed to say when Tony didn’t make a move to explain himself. He didn’t need an introduction. There was no mistaking who he was.

“Too much?” He responded with a coy smile. When she’d rejected him via email he thought perhaps she had misunderstood his intentions so he’d sent a second email explaining his idea further. When that had again been rejected he had decided it was time to take further action. For some reason Tony couldn’t take no for an answer from Scarlett, not on this matter. He hadn’t been that determined in months and he vowed to follow it to its end.

“I cannot think of a single thing important enough for you to say to me that would warrant you breaking through my balcony door! What if I had people in here? There’s glass everywhere! Someone could’ve been seriously hurt!” Scarlett tucked her gun away quickly beneath her desk as Tony was distracted by taking in the mess he’d made. Thankfully he didn’t seem to notice the move. The last thing she needed was Stark becoming suspicious of what she really did at Refuge. It was bad enough to have the press hounding her every time she walked outside her building or went out to dinner.

“Scarlett Damien, right?” Tony cracked his neck and with a few maneuvers with his gloves in his suit the entire thing retracted and reformed into the Iron Man suit next to him. She stared at the suit in mild curiosity then back to Tony who wearing Armani, which seemed grossly inappropriate to be worn beneath the metallic suit. 

“Yeah, that’s who you’re writing the check out too when you replace everything you’ve damaged!” Scarlett ran her fingers through her unruly curly brown hair and placed a hand on her hip, her mouth hanging open in awe. Tony couldn’t help but be amused by her reaction. He was also surprised not to see her ogling his suit. Most women ogled the suit, they couldn’t help it. But Scarlett was more concerned with the fact that the doors had come completely off of their hinges and now her floor was covered with glass. He had to admit, it wasn’t his smoothest entrance but it certainly had grabbed her attention as intended. “What do you want?”

“It’s nice to meet you too, Miss Damien.” Tony laughed. She was everything he had expected her to be. Part of him had hoped that it was a really good photoshop job on that magazine cover but now he could see it wasn’t.

“None of that provided any answers.” Now that the situation had been diffused, Scarlett wanted to know what the hell he’d been thinking. More importantly she wanted to know what he was doing in her office and what made him think it was appropriate to crash through a window just to meet her. They’d never met before and the only time they had corresponded was that morning via email. Nothing she had responded with had sounded like an invitation for him to break into her office. 

“You’re very hard to get a hold of.” Tony mused over his response. He’d planned on being more graceful with his entrance but his new suit had a few minor kinks that he’d yet to work out. Okay, it had more than a few minor kinks but it was still completely functional and he trusted it to get the job done. He hadn’t flown it that far in a very long time and he was a little rusty on his controls. “I have a number of business proposals I would like to discuss with you. Your secretary gave me the run around when I called this morning.”

“Didn’t I already address this via email multiple times?”

“So you _did_ get my emails.” Tony smiled but also wondered in the back of his mind why on earth she would reject his job offer. It didn’t make sense to him! Who _wouldn’t_ want to work with him? He was the greatest mind of his generation. He was sort of jealous of people who got to work with him because he would never get to work with a mind of his caliber. It was a sad existence really, being the smartest person in the room all the time.

“Yes, and I told you to buzz off. Did I accidentally attach the signature that invited you to break through my balcony door? Was that what threw you off? I’m sorry, I seem to be sending that to a lot of people lately.” Scarlett placed her hands on her hips and walked around her desk gingerly, avoiding the shattered glass. Tony chuckled. Even though she was angry at him she was at least making a joke out of it. At least he _thought_ she was joking.

“Refuge is a pretty big company. You’re obviously busy and couldn’t make time for me. I understand that your time is valuable but I promise that what I have to say is worth the time it takes to hear it.” Tony’s smile was charming and would melt most women where they stood but Scarlett didn’t seem phased by it in the least. Why was that? It threw Tony off of his game but it didn’t make him second guess his decision to talk to her. It only proved to make him more interested and more determined. Scarlett wasn’t fawning over him or catering to his every whim like most people did when they first met him and recognized him for who he was. No, she challenged him. Maybe Tony _needed_ a challenge. It had gotten him out of the state of California for the first time in months.

“No offense, but I’m already sick of being asked by the press what it’s like to be compared to the son of Howard Stark. Now it’s only been a few hours since the calls have come pouring in but I’m already tired of being asked what it’s like to be offered a job by the great genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist Tony Stark. I honestly don’t have the time or energy to give them more fuel for their metaphorical fires. Isn’t there enough press about the both of us without this breaking and entering nonsense?” Scarlett looked to her balcony door. “If not there is certainly a possibility that your future press involves property damage.” 

“You’re funny. I didn’t expect you to be so funny, looking at you.” Tony gestured to all of her since he was sure going into specifics was nowhere near appropriate and would get him dragged away by security. 

“Oh, go ahead, dig the grave a _little_ deeper. Six feet wasn’t enough. Look Stark, this is probably some grand gesture supposed to garner some kind of interest or excitement in your projects but all you really accomplished was scaring the hell out of me.” Scarlett was flustered but kept her cool. The last thing she had expected was for someone to fly through her window. Where was that prediction? She thought he’d gone into hiding in the last few months, ever since the situation with Loki in New York. Apparently he was still feeling brazen enough to take a few risks. Thankfully, Scarlett had been judged by her looks her entire life and had managed to always work around them.

“You sure didn’t look scared.” Tony pointed out, walking around her and taking her in. Behind her he gave her the once over and nodded his head in approval. He’d have to try and get a picture to send to Rhodey. She was everything the magazine had advertised she would be and more but he hadn’t quite expected her to be so filled with fire. Despite what he’d read about her he had still expected something dimmer. This was much better. “You looked ready for a fight, actually.”

“What, do you think that all us business folk don’t know how to fend for ourselves? Something crashes through my window, I’m not going to roll over and play dead.” Scarlett scoffed, looking mildly offended but not actually feeling any offense. She was supposed to be playing the role of helpless business woman but she couldn’t. It was proving to be a far more difficult ruse to perpetrate than she had expected. If someone broke into her office she was _going_ to shoot them. She just hadn’t anticipated Iron Man flying through her window and that seemed reasonable enough.

“If I thought that, I probably wouldn’t be standing here.” Tony pointed to his suit that stood guard behind him then clapped his hands together and approached her cautiously. Scarlett looked to the door behind him, surprised that Jinx hadn’t come running into the office upon hearing the commotion. She was going to have to reevaluate her security situation. “Given that I’m Iron Man and all that. Besides, I hear you have a rather nefarious past that no one can figure out.”

“Don’t tell me you’re a gossip, too.” Scarlett couldn’t help but be amused. She walked past him and looked at the Iron Man suit at long last. It was different than the ones she’d seen in the papers and different than the Warmachine that the military had let her take a look at during their first meeting. It was something she had refused to help them with. Scarlett was curious about the machine but wasn’t one to step on another inventor’s toes. If they wanted help with the technology they would have to go to Tony to get it. 

Now it seemed as though Tony was coming to her which changed the game entirely. Tony watched her, seeing the curiosity sparkling in her eyes as she walked around the armor. If it was sitting right there in her office after doing the damage it had done he might as well let her take a look at it. Besides, if she was interested in playing with it then it could be something he used for leverage when making their deal. 

“I only gossip when I don’t have enough information to draw conclusions. And you have to admit, Scarlett that you have quite a bit of gossip surrounding you because no one seems to have all the information. Even _I_ couldn’t find it.” Tony slowly walked closer, his hands clasped together behind his back. For the first time in weeks he wasn’t feeling anxious and he was excited for what would come next. Interaction with Scarlett wasn’t forced or unsavory. Even though she was clearly not amused at how he had come into her office she was obviously interested in his technology. Despite her reaction to him she hadn’t made any attempts to call security or the police and kick him out. That _had_ to be a good sign.

“What do you want from me, Stark?” Scarlett didn’t turn her gaze away from the Iron Man suit. It was like no technology she’d ever seen before and if she had the chance she would love to take a peek on the inside to see just how it was put together. Robotics was something she obviously excelled at given that her first release of a product was a series of artificial limbs. But the machine in front of her was more beautiful than anything she had ever created.

“I already told you what I wanted in those emails.”

“And I already told you I wasn’t interested so why are you here?”

“Your lips say no but your very curious eyes say yes.” Tony stood next to her, hands still behind his back as he watched her. She turned her gaze at last to him, looked him over and then nodded her head.

“I’m listening.” Scarlett turned her eyes back to the armor, trying to memorize every difference she could spot off hand from the older models without having a picture to reference. It was more than just the color of the armor but the design had been severely altered. Tony was every bit as charming as she had been led to believe and so Scarlett couldn’t help but want to hear what he had to say. That was, of course, if he offered to pay for the damage that he had done to her very costly building. Scarlett had sold a small part of her soul in order to build Refuge the way she’d wanted it to be built and he would likely be surprised at the tab he’d incurred breaking her door in.

Even if Tony ended up talking for fifteen minutes about what she already knew, he had this way of talking that was very interesting and entertaining. When she’d worked as an engineer in her younger years she had seen him speak at symposiums and even then he’d been charming. It was not easy making particle physics sound delightfully witty and maybe even a little sexy. But she had also despised him for it back then. He’d often made what she did sound like a joke to some people.

“I’ve got a deal with Stark Industries I’d like for you to consider. You wouldn’t be an employee since I get the very strong feeling you wouldn’t like working for me so you’d be more of a consultant. I’d invite you in, give you a work space, show you my problems and see if you can offer some insight. If so, I’ll pay you for the idea and then offer you the opportunity to build the solution. A fee will obviously be paid there if it’s finances you’re concerned about.” Tony had rehearsed his offer multiple times in his head on the flight over.

“Does it look like I’m concerned about finances?” Scarlett walked away at last from the Iron Man suit and then examined the damage that had been done to her door. There was glass scattered all across the floor, crunching beneath her heels. She clicked her tongue in disapproval. “Shatter proof glass, my ass…” She muttered, kicking several shattered pieces out of the way. She’d have to get someone to put a tarp over the window in case the clouds threatening over head at last broke and it began to rain. The last thing she needed was for her furniture to be ruined because Iron Man didn’t have the decency to land on the balcony instead of crashing through it.

“No, considering I’m ninety percent sure that dress is Dior.” Tony looked her over again and Scarlett shook her head. “I’m wrong? Really?” Maybe he did have to get out more. Fashion didn’t seem to be a masculine thing to be into but Tony understood women and women loved fashion. 

“What’s going on here? Weren’t you talking about something important?”

“Oh yes, of course. There’s the deal with Stark Industries. Not only will it be an opportunity to put that knowledge of yours to good use, not that you need any help with that or anything since you have obviously got a handle on charitable efforts, but it would still be doing something good for the sake of doing it. I’ve created this element here, maybe you heard about it.” Tony pulled open his jacket and unbuttoned the top of his button up shirt then rapped his knuckle against the metal of the arc reactor in his chest hidden beneath his undershirt. “Clean, renewable, affordable energy. Distribution, however, has become a problem. That’s where you come in.”

“Yes, you said most of that in the email.” Scarlett felt a pang of guilt in her stomach. The energy research was a valuable project and she believed it should be pursued, just not by her. She couldn’t get involved with Iron Man considering the drama she already seemed surrounded by without him. The last thing she needed was to hear rumors about what was going on with her and Tony. He was with somebody, if she recalled from the papers. Scarlett had been called every name in the book in the last month, except for home wrecker. That would be at the top of the list if she took this job. She was sure that the tabloids were simply waiting for the opportunity to use it. Scarlett wasn’t as good at ignoring the papers as Tony had become. It took a toll on her. 

“But more importantly that would be a cover for what I really want your help with.” Tony turned to face her, a smirk at the corner of his lips and his brown eyes sparkling mischievously. Scarlett cursed them immediately. He had a reputation that preceded him about being a bit of a man whore. She was supposed to dislike him but there was something likable about him, she couldn’t help herself. Did that make her a terrible person? No, it made her just like everybody else who fell for his charm. Only she had to make a point _not_ to fall for his game.

“You mentioned a secret project.” Scarlett nodded, pretending to look bored when in fact she was intrigued and trying not to stare into his big brown eyes. There was no harm in looking, at least. Men did it all the time, so why couldn’t she? In fact, she was sure that Tony had done it to her just recently and he was in a committed relationship, so now she was most certainly sure it was okay.

“I want to offer you the once in a lifetime opportunity to work on one of my newer Marks.” When she didn’t seem to know what he was referring to he pointed to the suit standing next to him. “This is the Mark XLII. My newest suit of armor and the least finished by far. When I create a new model I name it with a new Mark number… like guns. The prosthetic technology you’ve released, from what I read, works without brain surgery. I could use your insight with a few things I’ve been working on for this Mark. I’ve never had anyone else touch the suits before, at least not so intimately. You’d have to be gentle, it’s their first time.” Tony could see the intrigue immediately light up in her eyes so he smiled confidently. 

“Hmm…” She seemed unsure of how to respond. Realizing she’d been staring still at his brown eyes, she turned to face the armor and walked around it to inspect it again as though she’d be able to devise more of what he needed from her just by looking at it. In reality she was considering his offer. S.H.I.E.L.D. would be more than irritated if she jumped in to help Tony Stark with something. At least she thought they would be. They were trying to keep her out of harm’s way and Tony seemed to run into trouble whenever he walked out his front door. Considering he’d broken her balcony so severely upon their first meeting, his record still seemed to hold true. 

But it was more than that. The technology in front of her was a work of art. It had been created by a man with skilled hands and a genius intellect. It wasn’t a weapon and now that she had seen it up close she was confident of that. It was a piece of Tony himself. The Iron Man suits were something she had never seen before in person and more than anything she wanted a piece of it. Deep down, given her situation, she knew it was a terrible idea and yet she was tossing around the agreement in her head.

“What are you thinking?” Tony grew impatient watching her. She seemed to have a lot going on under that unruly curly brown hair that cascaded over her shoulders and to her mid-back that Tony had watched far longer than he should’ve. But the silence made him uncomfortable and he felt the need to prompt her.

“I have too much on my plate.” She said half-heartedly. The disappointment had to have been obvious, almost as obvious as the disappointment that came from him upon hearing it. “I’m not good at handling virgins, you’ve probably heard.” Tony laughed and then cleared his throat.

“You have too much on your plate? What? Come on, you have time for this! You should _make_ time for this.” Tony nodded to the office when Scarlett gave him a skeptical look. “So what, you have investor meetings, military deals, private deals, that whole… company going public thing.”

“A whole business to run, personal projects.” Scarlett pointed out, resting a hand on her hip. “The prosthetic deal and the military deal are just the beginning of what I have to offer. You shouldn’t even know about the military deal but I’m guessing that has something to do with your military friend.” Scarlett had known about his connection with Rhodes when she’d gone to see the Warmachine. It was only natural that the two friends would talk about that kind of stuff during their casual time together.

“And you’re going to give up working on something that could change how you look at robotics because you’re too _busy?_ ” Tony argued. It was true, he wanted something from her but she could tell that she wanted something from him, too. This relationship could work to benefit both of them if they could only reach an agreement. Tony wanted to get her to at least consider it before he left Boston that day. If he could help it, he’d get a yes answer out of her before he did. Tony generally liked to get what he wanted; it was part of his upbringing. 

“Are you forgetting that I have already changed the way the world looks at robotics?” Scarlett sneered. The offer was tempting her, lingering in front of her and saying no had been hard enough as it was. Thankfully she was good at sticking to her guns. Scarlett always had been. Working with Tony Stark would not be worth the fallout that it would incur. Somehow she knew it would only end badly. And yet, part of her really wanted to do it anyway. Tony was interesting, clever, intelligent, charming, handsome, and entertaining. Only years ago she had hated him for all those same reasons. It had taken her a long time to understand that he had a life changing experience that had turned him into a genuinely well meaning man. But with the way her own life had been changing in months past she had understood it better with time.

“And I want to see that too! Genius of our caliber, Scarlett? It doesn’t show up very often. Think of the things we could accomplish if we teamed up.”

“I’m pretty sure that someone out there is already theorizing about what we’re accomplishing in a newspaper.” Scarlett rolled her eyes and was surprised when Tony laughed. Maybe he didn’t realize that it was likely _his_ girlfriend who would not find it at all funny when the newspaper was reporting that her latest victim was him.

“That’s not what I meant.”

“I know what you meant, Stark.”

“Then how can you so easily say no and walk away?”

“Because it _is_ easy. They’re just two letters strung together and well… walking is something I do quite well. You should try doing it in heels someday and then we’ll see whose better.” Scarlett countered.

“You want to do this. I can see it in your eyes. You hate that you have to walk away from this because you’re busy. Take it from a guy who has spent the last twenty five years running a Fortune 500 corporation, Scarlett. You are going to have to realize that you can do whatever you want whenever you want. It’s the risks you take that are going to make you successful.” For the first time since he’d come crashing through her window Tony sounded like a legitimate businessman.

“This is more than just a risk. You couldn’t have picked a worse time for me.” Scarlett sighed heavily. How could he read her so easily? Maybe she wasn’t making a good enough attempt to hide her interest.

“Timing is always off. Something will always get in the way if you let it. Reconsider.” Tony made a strong argument and could tell he’d worn her down. But had he really? Would she say what he wanted to hear so that he would leave her alone? Would she do that so that she could give him a message again electronically letting him know she wasn’t interested? Tony often came on strong, especially to women, but he really believed that Scarlett could help him. It was the first thing he’d been passionate about in god knows how long and he’d chase it right up until she filed for a restraining order. “I promise you won’t regret it.”

“If I agree to consider it, will you shut up?” Scarlett batted her eyelashes at him, attempting to be playful but really she was trying to think of how she would ever sincerely say no to Tony face to face. How could she work with someone she had blindly hated for no real reason for years? Okay, so there _had_ been reasons to dislike him. His company had been responsible for illegally transporting weapons to terrorist organizations and Scarlett had seen firsthand the wreckage those actions had wrought. Then there was, of course, that Tony was a complete chauvinistic pig in the newspapers. While she was sure it couldn’t all be true just as she knew the rumors about her weren’t, Scarlett was sure there had been validity to at least a few of the claims. Before Tony could respond and continue to convince her, the door to Scarlett’s office opened.

“Miss Damien you have a conference…” Jinx pursed her lips and stopped talking as she realized Scarlett was no longer alone. There was a robot man standing near a broken window, a very handsome man in front of her and the door that usually covered the balcony was blown to pieces across the floor. Though she probably should’ve been concerned about the balcony she instead was more interested in the man that stood there with the robot. “Is everything okay?”

“Yes, it’s fine.” Scarlett exhaled deeply, walking past Tony and toward her assistant. “Where were you?” She hissed under her breath.

“Who is this… dark haired stranger?” Jinx referred to her earlier predictions with her dual colored eyes and Scarlett slumped her shoulders in response. Jinx knew who he was but she couldn’t help but point out that her fortunes had come true, at least partially. What were the odds that she’d make a prediction about a new love interest entering Scarlett’s life and then moments later Tony Stark literally flew a robot suit through her window? At least, that’s what Jinx had guessed had happened. She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively when she saw the annoyance on Scarlett’s face. 

“Tony Stark.” Tony held out his hand for Jinx to shake after approaching, standing close next to Scarlett. Instead Jinx took his hand and looked over his palm curiously. Whispering to herself she followed the lines over his palm with her index finger and furrowed her brow. “What’s she doing?” Tony whispered to Scarlett when he realized that Jinx had absolutely no interest in greeting him.

“Miss Bennett.” Scarlett spoke severely, rousing her assistant from her reverie. Carefully Scarlett took Tony’s hand away from Jinx and spoke soothingly. “What is it you came in here to say? Also where is security when you need them?”

“Oh, you have a conference call in ten minutes. I was downstairs so I guess I didn’t hear all this.” Jinx smiled proudly, but then looked down at Scarlett’s hand that was still very gingerly grasping onto Tony’s. Immediately Scarlett let go of his hand and brushed hers off on her dress as though ridding herself of something foul. Tony watched her curiously. Why had she done that? Her hands had been really soft, he’d been enjoying the touch but hadn’t really thought much of it until Scarlett had practically thrown his hand away.

“Okay. I’ll take it on video call downstairs in the workshop. Tell him I’m going to be a minute late.” Scarlett turned her attention to the door that was destroyed behind her. “Can you call the maintenance guys and have them come up here and sweep up the glass? Then cover the window with a tarp until I can get the contractor to get me a replacement door and window.” Scarlett placed a hand to her temple and rubbed gingerly. This day was starting to give her a nasty headache. Between her crazy assistant and Tony Stark, she wasn’t sure what to do with herself.

“Send me the bill.” Tony chimed in, making an apologetic face. “I shouldn’t have broken the window. But I like to make an entrance and clearly she needed me to grab her attention.” Tony shrugged.

“You definitely made an entrance.” Jinx laughed then walked away from the two of them without another word.

“Well, she’s interesting. What was that whole thing… with my hand? Should I wash it? I’m sort of worried I should wash it.” Tony wiggled his fingers as though to make sure that nothing was wrong with them. 

“She’s superstitious, is all.” Scarlett walked back to her desk and flipped on her computer screen. “She was probably reading your palm. We call her Jinx sometimes because of that and her crazy eyes. She’s always predicting bad luck or good luck. It’s cute really, she’s always very concerned.” Scarlett typed away at her keyboard, sending the information she needed for her meeting downstairs. “If you don’t mind, Mr. Stark. I have a meeting and I’ve set aside the rest of the afternoon to play around in my workshop.”

“Your workshop?” Tony was surprised to see that she seemed to do a lot of her own work. Her company obviously had the finances and manpower to do most of that for her. He found it admirable that she didn’t shove her formulas and ideas at a team of analysts and wait for them to make it happen. Tony was one of the only other inventors he had known that had taken his work home with him and often preferred to work out a problem himself before he passed it onto a team for development and enhancement.

“Yeah, you know, where work happens. A shop of work, one would say.” Scarlett looked at him skeptically. “Damnit, I don’t have time to get changed. I’m way too overdressed for this.” Muttering under her breath Scarlett apologized secretly to the expensive dress that she was likely going to ruin before looking back to Tony. “If you don’t mind.”

“Oh, but I do. What if I joined you?”

“Seriously?” Scarlett took deep breaths to keep from getting irritated. She had the distinct feeling that she was not going to get rid of Tony Stark very easily today. Considering she had just met him, it was overwhelming.

“Just to observe your process. I’m curious to see how you work.” Tony wanted to add on that he wanted to see how she was going to manage to work in that dress but figured it would likely be inappropriate. Right now he was trying to convince her to work with him not scare her away. Though given the conversation they had already he was sure it wouldn’t scare her away. Still, better safe than not getting to work with her.

“I’m very busy, Tony.” Scarlett whined, hoping he would back down of his own volition.

“You called me Tony that time. I mean, that’s progress right?” Tony smiled hopefully. He was feeling too good to leave. The last thing he wanted was to return to Malibu empty handed where Pepper would say she told him so until her throat went raw. “I promise, you won’t even know that I’m there.”

“I doubt that!” She scoffed gesturing to her broken door.

“No really! I promise to be on my best behavior. No suit, no snarky comments.”

“The last time I had no idea you were here you broke through my window.”

“That was almost ten whole minutes ago you’re going to have to let it go sometime, Scarlett.” Tony looked at her in disapproval and she couldn’t help but laugh. Why did he have to be so damn funny?

“You’re really not going to let it go, are you?”

“Hmm…” He thought about it for a moment before looking back to her. “No, I’m not good at letting anything go. It’s in my nature.”

“I don’t have time to argue with you.” Scarlett looked to the clock on the wall above the door and then back to Tony. 

“All the more reason for you to agree to let me come observe you.”

“Fine.” Scarlett shrugged her shoulders. There was no harm in letting him come along as long as he actually _was_ on his best behavior. She would kick him out otherwise. If he interfered with her meeting she was going to be _so_ angry. “But only because I don’t have the time to deal with what turning you down would entail. You’d probably break the elevator or something.” Scarlett started out of the door to her office and Tony followed quickly behind her.

“See? You’re already great at this working with me thing.”


	6. New York

Before sitting down for her meeting in the workshop Scarlett called the man she had the meeting with to let him know she’d be late. She just couldn’t bring herself to work in her expensive dress so she asked for an extra five minutes before their arrangement so that she could change. After arguing again with Tony that her dress was _not_ Dior and refusing to tell him where she’d gotten it Scarlett managed to escape so she could get changed into jeans and a simple tank top. 

If she was going to get messy in her lab during her meeting then she wasn’t going to ruin a dress that she had spent a considerable amount of money on. She had once been a very frugal woman and had lived with the bare minimum for years. This new life of fame and fortune had been a very difficult adjustment for her, even if no one had seemed to notice it. To the rest of the world it seemed natural for her to be dressed in the finest clothing.

Tony looked around Scarlett’s workshop curiously while he waited. It was small, nowhere as big as the laboratory that _he_ was used to working in. Then again, not many people were privy to the kinds of resources Tony had access too. But for someone of her current social status, Tony thought the laboratory was miniscule. Even her office upstairs was bigger than her workspace! The far wall was lined with counters and shelves that held expensive equipment and tools for her to work with. There was a long table next to that where she did most of her work judging by the scuff marks on top of it. It was surrounded by several rolling chairs, each tucked neatly in place. Several computer screens hung off of metallic arms from the wall near the table, set up to help with her work. 

In an alcove behind the table, hidden away to the left, was a small sitting area with a comfortable couch, an espresso machine on the counter, and a refrigerator with all the essentials packed away. Scarlett had left Tony alone in the workshop while she’d gotten changed after assuring him that he couldn’t access anything important without her so not to even bother. Tony _had_ been curious so he’d poked around inside cabinets and underneath counters just to see what she had stowed in there. He had absolutely no interest in stealing any of her ideas. Tony wanted to work with her, not take her developments. It was not in his nature to steal from someone else’s genius, he had plenty of his own. There was no need to borrow something he had an abundance of.

“Before I take this call,” Scarlett began as she pulled her hair back into a lazy bun when she returned to the room. She didn’t even bother to look up at Tony who had stopped abruptly digging through one of her drawers upon her arrival. “I need you to promise me something.” Still not addressing him directly, Scarlett flipped on the screens hanging near the table. Using her phone she transferred the files she’d obtained upstairs onto the screens on the left and right. They were considerably smaller than the screen in the middle.

“We’re making promises now? Already? You move fast.” Tony slid the drawer closed as quietly as he could in hopes she hadn’t noticed. He’d begun redesigning the workspace in his head for maximum efficiency. Something told him that she wouldn’t very much like to hear his suggestions on the matter, at least not yet.

“Cute. There’s a rest area back there for you. It’s out of range of my camera but you can still watch what I’m doing from there. If you make your presence known during my meeting I will not hesitate to throw you out and have security remove you from the premises.” Scarlett leaned against the table and then finally turned her attention to him as he drew closer. He ran his fingers through his short hair, contemplated her terms, and then nodded his head to agree.

“I told you, you won’t even know I’m there. I just want to observe.” Tony laughed, waving his hand as though it was no big deal. Scarlett watched him skeptically as he walked past her and over to the couch she had instructed him to sit upon. It was comfortable and worn, not as modern looking as the one a few floors above in her office but it worked for the decor set up in the workshop. Tony leaned back against it, spreading his arms across the back cushions and folding his legs with a dramatic kick.

“ _Right,_ ” Scarlett narrowed her eyes suspiciously and spoke in a long drawl. Tony looked to his left and his right and gave a silent nod of approval. The couch needed replacing but the rest of the workshop was modest yet functional. Given the state of her office upstairs and the rest of what he’d seen of the building he assumed that her workshop would’ve been just as presumptuous. Refuge was trying to make a statement and it was a very bold one. They were there to stay. Refuge was the _future_ of technology. Tony knew that’s what she was doing with the sleek modern style of her building because it was the same thing he had done when he’d taken over Stark Industries. He’d remodeled the whole office with a modern vibe and made it his own.

First impressions were one of the most important things in business but Tony knew over the years that those first impressions weren’t always what they appeared to be. Tony was not properly represented by his company just as he was sure that Scarlett was not represented by hers. He wondered if she’d argue against that but somehow he knew the truth. They were both clever enough to know what people wanted to see.

“Are you all settled in now? No more questions before I finally start my meeting? This is your last chance.” Scarlett didn’t turn away from her table so Tony felt free to watch her as she moved around.

“I think I’m good.”

“You think, or you’re _certain?_ ”

“Wait, can I make an espresso first? Is that machine any good?” Tony pointed to the machine across from him on the counter. Scarlett sighed heavily but then turned to face him. He smiled innocently and batted his eyelashes in hopes that she found him cute enough to relent.

“Fine, but only if you make me one too.” Scarlett walked away from the table with a roll of her eyes. She ended up being the one to make the espressos since Tony hit four wrong buttons within the first thirty seconds of his attempt to ready the machine and made quite the mess in the process. It was very obvious to Scarlett that Tony was often _given_ what he wanted and not made to get it on his own. Tony watched over her shoulder as she maneuvered the machine, standing annoyingly close. When she handed the tiny cup to him he merely stared at it. “What? What’s wrong with it? It’s espresso, almost impossible to screw up.”

“I have this thing.” Tony looked to the side and then pointed to the counter with a wave of his hand. “I hate when people hand me things.” Scarlett cocked a curious eyebrow as if to wait for an explanation but got none. “We all have our weird little tics, okay? You have this ugly couch and I don’t like when people hand me stuff.” Scarlett looked back to her couch and stifled a smile though he could see her lips curling into one despite her attempts to hide it. Gingerly she placed the small porcelain cup down on the counter and pointed to it.

“Better?”

“Much.” Tony picked the cup up and drained the espresso in one sip. Scarlett did the same and set her empty cup on the counter.

“Are you content now? Can I continue on with things?” Scarlett walked back to the table, facing away from him and Tony returned to the couch where he, again, sprawled across it. He wondered if the couch had a story behind, something from her past, perhaps. Maybe it was sentimental and that’s why she had kept it hidden away in her private workshop. Or it could’ve just been an ugly couch and she didn’t have the heart to get rid of it. Maybe Scarlett didn’t like to waste things.

“Yes.” Tony nodded his head in approval after considering if he was prepared to be quiet for an _entire_ meeting. It seemed like a daunting task to him. Tony _loved_ to talk, even if it was about nothing in particular. But he _had_ to earn Scarlett’s respect, even if he had always thought he’d deserved it from everyone he met on the street beforehand. Something was different about her. Or maybe it was that something inside of him had changed. It was, after all, his first attempt to accomplish anything outside of his basement and away from his Iron Man armor in months. The thought scared him momentarily but in a weird way he felt very proud of himself. He’d gotten out of the house, flown across the country, and while he had destroyed a valuable piece of property in the process he had still done everything he had set out to do in the first place. Tony had proven to himself that he wasn’t broken beyond repair.

“Good.” Scarlett flipped on the center screen without turning to face him. “Don’t think I didn’t see you snooping around in my cabinets over there. Put whatever you took back before you leave and I won’t mention it again.” Scarlett folded her arms over her chest and watched as the screen connected to the phone at the center of the table and brought up a default video screen as she waited for someone on the other line to pick up. Tony didn’t dare respond, but he wondered how she knew that he’d been digging through her things since it seemed as though she hadn’t been paying him any mind when she’d first joined him after changing.

He’d only taken a pen as a souvenir but he’d put it back as an act of good faith. It said Refuge on it and he wanted to doodle while he was sitting down to stifle his inevitable boredom. Tony had every intention of asking if he could keep it, that was, if he could remember to ask about it. Which likely meant that he would end up keeping the pen in the long run simply because he forgot about it and would find it upon emptying his pockets when he returned home. Sometimes Tony had the memory of a small child.

Soon he was distracted by a voice coming from the other end of the room. Apparently Scarlett’s meeting had finally started. 

“Ah, Scarlett I was beginning to think that you had forgotten about me.” The whimsical cockney accent met his ears and Tony leaned forward on the couch so that he could peer around Scarlett and catch a glimpse of who she was having her meeting with.

“Sorry Nathan, I’ve had kind of a crazy morning.” Scarlett folded her arms over her chest before taking a seat at the far end of the table. 

“I do hope that it was the good sort of crazy.” Even Nathan’s laugh was charming. Tony instantly rolled his eyes and turned away from the screen so he didn’t have to look at the stranger. Nathan was handsome, but not in the typical way. He had a square jaw, severe cheekbones and a longer nose, but not too long to be off putting. His hair was brown, a little lighter than Tony’s but a bit longer and was pushed back out of his face, wisps of it having broken loose only somehow managing to make him more handsome. Tony immediately began thinking rotten things about the Brit chatting up Scarlett at the other end of the room. 

Why? He wasn’t really sure.

“It’s always a mix of the two.” Scarlett was looking at the screen on her left where there were investor statements and catalogues of the returns she’d made on his input. This man was clearly one of those who had helped her find the startup capital for Refuge. 

“I have no doubt of that, love. Speaking of which, did you happen to catch the papers this morning?” Nathan had a sparkle in his dark eyes that made Tony like him even less. He mocked gagging silently. 

“Don’t tell me you actually _follow_ that stuff.” Scarlett turned her head to the side and rested her chin in her palm before rolling her eyes. She was tired of hearing about herself in the papers. It was rarely true, what was reported, and most of the time it just proved to stress her out. Scarlett did her best to ignore what was being said since S.H.I.E.L.D. had recommended it was in her best interest not to fight any of the reports. But still, the lies weighed heavily on the back of her mind. 

“And you don’t? Come on, it’s quite fun. Seeing what people are assuming about you when your back is turned.” Nathan smirked.

“We’re supposed to be talking about business, Nathan not chatting about the magazines. Now that the company has gone public…” Scarlett made an attempt to stop gossiping but was sidelined when Nathan instead continued on his tangent.

“But _did_ you catch it this morning? You never answered my question.” He couldn’t hide his smile.

“Yes, I did. People seem to think that whenever I have a private meeting with anyone attractive I’ve had some sort of a romantic affair with them. It’s all gotten very annoying to be perfectly honest with you.” Scarlett shook her head in dismay. Nathan was a flirt, Tony could see why Scarlett had become frustrated with him. She had no interest in him, from what Tony could tell, but maybe Tony was only seeing the signals that he wanted to see. Or maybe she really didn’t, it was hard to tell. Scarlett wasn’t exactly the easiest person on the planet to read.

“If you like, I could catch a flight in an hour and we could go out for dinner and give the press a run for their money, something to really write about, you know. We could discuss business of course rather than this pesky phone call meeting thing you’re so fond of.” Nathan adjusted the camera on his computer and narrowed his eyes at it suspiciously. “I’ve never been very good at this technological stuff. I leave all of that to you.”

“I always wonder why you invested in my company when you tend to destroy every bit of machinery you touch.” Scarlett narrowly avoided answering his invitation for dinner by concentrating on the rest of his sentence. She had become very skilled at the art of avoidance in the past few months particularly when dealing with the press all the time. There was very little she could reveal about herself in a public setting and even in a private one these days, so she had to learn how to circumvent conversation in order to avoid addressing topics she wasn’t comfortable discussing.

“Because, darling, you are obviously very skilled with technology therefore I admire the work you do. While I may not understand what it is you do, exactly I have seen the end result and I am absolutely astonished by it. Refuge is a good company. That’s why I’m asking that you take the return for my investment and put it back into your company rather than sending it back to me.” Nathan gave her a dazzling, toothy smile which Scarlett returned.

“That’s very generous Nathan. But Refuge is public now, you should’ve talked to a broker like everyone else if you wanted to own a piece of it.” Scarlett laughed in disbelief. Tony couldn’t believe his ears either. He was practically throwing money at Scarlett. What was this guy’s deal? He was charming, handsome, had a cute accent, was obviously loaded and most important was obviously some kind of asshole.

“I didn’t think to talk to a broker because I could talk to _you_ in person whenever I like and that appealed to me far more.” Nathan smiled sweetly and Scarlett offered a wary smile in return. “I figure if you could meet me at eight in Boston then perhaps I would be able to discuss this further with you. And if you showed up in that number you were wearing when you spoke to the press this morning I can guarantee you that it’ll be the talk of the town tomorrow.”

“I don’t really want to be the talk of the town. I’m the talk of the town when I’m going to get a latte at Starbucks and I smile at someone standing in line outside.” Scarlett laughed but was formulating in her head a nice way to say that she wasn’t interested in getting together. It wasn’t that Nathan wasn’t a decent guy or wasn’t what she was looking for. It was more like Scarlett wasn’t looking for _anyone_. Relationships were not her number one priority and being in one would only give the press more fuel for their terrible stories. Was it too much to be known publicly for the advancements that she’d made? Apparently, according to modern day press, it was far too much to ask. Being an attractive woman in the limelight made her the target of misogynistic media.

“People _love_ you, Scarlett. Eventually you’re going to have to embrace that.”

“I know, look Nathan it’s an incredibly sweet gesture but I’m not up to going to dinner.” Scarlett folded her arms on the table and rested her chin against them with a smile. It was obvious that he didn’t want to discuss work. The meeting had been more of a ruse to try and get her to go out socially with him. While she thought that it was sweet she was also irritated that it was something she had put specific time aside for. 

“Are you sure?” Nathan looked concerned that he’d offended her. “I could fly you down here for the evening if you prefer a change in scenery. Look at that view.” He moved away from the focus of his webcam and showed her the skyline of Manhattan behind him. Despite the gray skies the city was as clear as could be. Most days you couldn’t see the top of the buildings through the haze created by pollution and the water surrounding the island city. But the view on that particular day was astounding.

“It is very tempting, I do love the city but I’ve got too much on my plate today.”

“Perhaps a rain check, then?” Nathan spoke hopefully. The guilt practically radiated off of Scarlett’s shoulders but so did the apprehension. Tony watched her curiously, leaning his elbows on his knees and hunching forward. What was she so apprehensive about? Not that he wanted her to abandon him to go to Manhattan on some date with a British guy, but he couldn’t see _why_ she would turn him down.

Tony sat upright and stopped his train of thought immediately. _Manhattan?_

Suddenly he couldn’t pull his eyes away from the picture on the screen and not because of the man chatting up Scarlett. The skyline behind Nathan was unmistakable now that it had been pointed out. His heartbeat drowned out any sound coming from the video and coming from Scarlett. 

This couldn’t be happening.

_Not here._

Tony held his hands over his ears and leaned his head forward, looking away at last from the backdrop of Manhattan in front of him. But the damage had already been done. Scarlett’s words were buzzing into his thoughts but none of them were making any sense.

“An ad campaign? Are you not getting enough publicity out here what with the upcoming show?” Scarlett was talking to the British man but Tony didn’t care. He couldn’t care. He wasn’t in Manhattan! Why was it bothering him that there was a video of it? It was true that he’d turned off news stories that had shown the city he had once called his home in the past but they had never made him feel quite like _this_.

His hands were clammy and he found them gripping tightly at the couch. When had he hunched forward like that? He couldn’t recall. There was no way this could be happening to him! Not now. But even Scarlett’s voice was drowned from his thoughts. He closed his eyes tight and shook his head in hopes the bad feelings would shake away just as quickly. Instead it left him feeling only dizzy and light headed. When he opened his eyes the room was spinning. The only thing that he could seem to focus on was the screen against the wall and the skyline of Manhattan in the background. His hands were shaking, going numb.

He swore that he could see something in the sky. Was it a cloud? It had to be. There couldn’t be another portal opening up, surely someone would notice that. Was Loki back? Had the monsters from another world found a way to return to earth and exact their vengeance? Tony felt a tug at his hair and realized he was gripping it in hopes of getting the thoughts out of his head. What was happening to him? He had to be losing his mind, there was no other explanation.

Rational thought had flown out the window. No matter how many times he tried to convince himself over and over that there was absolutely no way that the Chitauri had returned, that the Tesseract had been taken back by Thor to Asgard and was safe in his hands, he couldn’t stop his mind from interrupting. It could happen. What if Thor was overtaken by Loki? What if something went wrong and he went free? 

His stomach lurched violently and for a terrifying moment Tony thought he was going to puke espresso all over Scarlett’s ugly couch. He had to take deep breaths; spots were forming in his vision. Was he forgetting to breathe? How could he forget to breathe? It was the most basic instinct a person had and here he was, the most brilliant man on the planet, and he couldn’t remember to inhale and exhale! Finally he let out a long breath and nearly gagged but managed to somehow stifle it. 

“I’ll talk to the company publicist and see what they think. Refuge is making enough press without us running advertisements but you do make a good point.” Scarlett felt oddly out of place during this video call. She was glad that Nathan had found something to talk about other than going to dinner since at first it had seemed he was there to waste her time. Instead he’d brought up the idea for an ad campaign where they could use existing Refuge technology to show what the world will be like when it became more widely available.

“Just because you’re making your own press doesn’t mean you shouldn’t throw in a reminder here and there. Now is the proper time for an ad campaign. People love you and those who hate you absolutely love to hate you. If you put advertisements out there at least you have some control over what people see.”

“Should I be mildly insulted?” Scarlett smiled but something felt off in the room. There was a feeling in her gut that something was very unmistakably wrong about her workshop. Over the years Scarlett had learned more than anything to trust her instincts. In the past few months she had been told by S.H.I.E.L.D. to ignore almost every single one of them. It was a strange transition. The air in the room seemed to change, to thicken, as though something had gone wrong. If there had been some kind of toxic leak in her building alarms would have gone off, she was sure of that. On top of that, nothing she was currently working on had any hazardous materials required. 

“Not at all. I just meant that your fans and critics seeing your company between one of their favorite programs on the telly as a reminder that you are doing some good in the world wouldn’t be a bad thing. Sometimes the hype of the media gets more caught up in the gossip than the real story.” Nathan spoke wisely. Scarlett mused over his words, turning the idea over in her mind. “It would be a reminder that you are very much doing some good in the world and not just having a romantic dinner with a very handsome actor.” Nathan smiled as charmingly as he possibly could, it was almost painful.

“Oh, so funny you are.” Scarlett tapped her fingers nervously on the table in front of her, suddenly unable to sit still. 

“What I was leading up to is that if your publicist agrees to it I would be happy to take part in the filming of this advertisement. That’s, of course, with your permission. It would be good publicity for us both.” Nathan stared her down and waited for her answer. Scarlett wasn’t sure what to do. On one hand he was a budding young actor who had stolen the hearts of audiences in his last film and was rising to stardom. It was likely the publicity would do them both well. But at the same time she would only be fanning the fires that the press had lit about a blossoming relationship between the two of them. There was nothing Scarlett wanted less than to have a relationship. Okay, well there were a few things she wanted much less but this she at least had control over.

“I’ll talk to the publicist. It’s a very generous offer Nathan, thank you.” Scarlett spoke at last. “I’ll send you your return tomorrow morning. If you want the company to have it then you have to go through the stages of making it a donation. Tax reasons, you know.”

Tony sat still on the couch, concentrating on his breathing. Finally he could hear them talking at the other end of the room again even if there was still a faint ringing in his ears. It was far beyond fear of Manhattan and what had happened in his past now. There was a war going on inside of his head. Why couldn’t he get his emotions under control? Something serious had to be wrong with him! And what if something wasn’t wrong with him and this was a panic or anxiety attack or whatever they were called?

How would he ever come back from that? He was Tony Stark! He could hear the jokes now about how he was so smart he couldn’t even figure out his own mind. Tony was losing it. The more he sat and thought about it, trying to ultimately think his way back into being calm, the worse it got. He assured himself that everything was fine and he was overreacting. But the more he tried to consider it the more he knew that nothing was fine and he definitely wasn’t overreacting. Somehow he had no control over his thoughts anymore and he felt completely helpless. Tony had never felt at the mercy of something like this before, not even when he had been in captivity. 

Slowly he opened his eyes and raised his head from between his legs, where he’d set it down in an attempt to overcome the sudden nausea that had overtaken him. The room was still spinning. Had things closed in on him? Had the room gotten smaller? The monitors seemed to be much closer than they had been. Surely this had to be all in his imagination, right? There were no other options left.

Tony had to get out of that room. 

He had to get out of there now and he had to do it as fast as he could. Getting up hastily, Tony rushed toward the exit. In his rapidity he knocked over a table near the far wall and some metallic pieces of a project he couldn’t decipher clamored to the ground. He didn’t have the energy to apologize. He didn’t care. For some reason he could barely walk straight. Stopping to clean his mess was completely out of the question.

Without another word and with his breathing ragged, Tony shoved the door open and left it to slam shut behind him. He needed air. He needed a quiet space to breathe and think. Or to stop thinking. Whatever Tony really needed he had no idea, but he sure as hell wasn’t going to let it happen in front of Scarlett. 

Scarlett stopped midsentence when she heard the crash behind her. She turned in her chair and half expected to see Tony wincing and trying to come up with an excuse as to why he’d been fiddling around behind her, but didn’t see that at all. Instead he practically ran out of the room. He was as white as a ghost! What had happened to him? Scarlett looked to the mess that he’d made and to the door. The feeling of dread that had overcome her only moments ago had gone with Tony out into the hallway.

“Was that…” Nathan hesitated, looking just as surprised by this turn of events as Scarlett did. “Was that Tony Stark?” Scarlett turned back to her investor who had his brow furrowed in confusion.

“Nathan, I’m sorry to cut this short but I have to go.” Scarlett stood up and leaned against the table so that she could reach for the phone. “We’ll finish this discussion later, okay? I’ll have Jinx call your people and set it up.” Before Nathan could say another word Scarlett ended the call and the screen in front of her went black. Scarlett didn’t know what had happened but she had a strong feeling about what it _could_ be.

Either way, she wasn’t going to let it go and walk away. Nathan would have to wait for her to discuss advertising when it was convenient for her. At the time being, Scarlett couldn’t care less about Refuge’s reputation. 


	7. Trauma

Scarlett rushed out of her workshop. She looked both ways down the hall for any sign of where Tony had run off to in his haste. Something had scared him and she wanted to make sure that nothing serious had happened. There was a tug in her stomach that assured her that something was wrong with _him_ and it wasn’t some kind of bathroom emergency or a phone call. If she had felt ill in an unfamiliar place and had to leave the room she would’ve gone toward the one place she _was_ familiar with and that would be the stairwell. Tony hadn’t gotten the grand tour. There had been no real time for that before they’d had to run down to her workshop so that she could take her apparently pointless conference call with Nathan.

Sure enough when she got to the stairwell she found Tony Stark. He was seated on the steps with his head resting in his hands and seemingly struggling to catch his breath. His skin was seven shades paler than it had once been and layered in a thin veil of sweat. Elbows on his knees, Tony hung his head forward and was gripping at his hair, his knuckles white. 

Tony heard the door open and _knew_ that Scarlett had followed him at once. He wished more than anything that she hadn’t. There was no way he could let her see him in this state. Having someone with him in the room, particularly someone he had been trying to impress, was only going to make things worse. Not only could he not control how he was thinking or feeling, he couldn’t control what he said or did while he was in this state. Wishing over and over again that she would leave him alone and forget that this whole thing had happened, he somehow knew that his wishing was in vain. Scarlett approached him cautiously, taking slow and steady steps. It didn’t bother him at first but when she reached to touch his shoulder to comfort him, he lost it.

“Back the hell off!” He hissed, sounding out of breath and haggard. Much to his surprise she didn’t ask him what was wrong and didn’t question his sanity or even call him names! Instead she took a few steps back and made sure not to try and touch him again. “Leave me _alone._ ”

“Stark…” Scarlett began cautiously, surely about to tell him that there was no way that he was going to be left alone. For someone who had barely met him that morning she sure was being pretty stubborn about this. Considering he’d had a near meltdown in her workshop and had stormed out of there for no reason and had possibly broken a few things on the way he had assumed she would be livid not concerned. That was _if_ she was worried at all, Tony couldn’t tell and he couldn’t focus on her face long enough to get a proper read on her. She’d _sounded_ worried if nothing else.

“I’m fine, leave me alone!” Tony picked his head up and snapped at her again in hopes he would make her angry enough to finally do as he requested.

“I’m sorry but I can’t do that.” Scarlett watched him sympathetically and shook her head to let him know in case he couldn’t hear her over whatever was happening in his head. Tony stared at her with his mouth hanging open in disbelief. She really _wasn’t_ going to leave him alone? Couldn’t she see that he needed her to go away? There was no pity in her eyes as he had expected to find. Tony somehow knew that Scarlett didn’t see him as the pathetic creature he felt he had become. Finally he could focus enough to see that she was, in fact, very worried about something. Could it be about him?

Despite her insistence on staying, Scarlett turned on her heels. He thought he had seen her hold up her index finger to let him know that she would be a minute but he could’ve been mistaken. The world was still spinning even though it had managed to slow down drastically. She disappeared out the door which she closed gently to keep it from slamming. Why would she do that? Tony hung his head in his hands again and concentrated on his deep breaths. It was the only thing he could think to do. The worst thing at the moment seemed to be that his heart was pumping far too hard and fast, his head was swimming, and the ringing in his ears was driving him mad.

“What the hell is wrong with me?” He exhaled desperately. It had only been a video feed with Manhattan in the background! How could it have triggered something so incredibly violent and terrifying? Maybe something else had happened that he hadn’t noticed. Was Scarlett’s office being poisoned by someone? It could’ve been a powerful hallucinogen that was being pumped through her air vents! But then why wasn’t _she_ affected? No, that sounded crazier than him having a panic attack. It was just a video. He had to keep reminding himself that Manhattan was still a good six hour drive away from where he was and an hour long flight. The more he tried to convince himself there was nothing to worry about the worse he felt about having worried at all.

His panic had been so intense that he’d lost feeling in his fingers for a few moments! All of that was caused by a damn video! A video of what was through someone’s window on Scarlett’s computer screen. There was nothing that could’ve happened in that video that would’ve directly affected him even if something _had_ happened there. It was too far away. Why couldn’t he get himself under control? New York wasn’t a scary place, he’d grown up there! He knew Manhattan better than he knew Los Angeles and he’d been to Los Angeles more times in the last ten years than Manhattan. And yet somehow Tony couldn’t look at his former hometown without losing control of his senses.

Despair spread like a cancer throughout his stomach as he considered how broken he had to be in order for this to be damaging him so severely. He’d thought he had made progress by coming to Boston that afternoon but instead there he was practically fighting back tears in a stairwell like a moody teenager who hadn’t gotten their way. 

How _pathetic_. How stupid.

The sound of the door clicking open made him jump and he instantly turned his attention to it, wide eyed as if waiting for the axe to drop. Scarlett walked back into the room, peering in carefully and looking apologetic that the door had made such a sharp noise. She’d obviously tried to keep him from jumping but there was only so much she could control. In her hands she held a glass of water which she had retrieved for him. How could she have known that his throat seemed to have swelled up and was completely dry?

“So this energy project,” Scarlett began, talking over Tony as he opened his mouth to tell her to leave him be until he’d calmed down. He was taken aback that she’d bring that up _now._ Suddenly she was interested in working with him? Tony shook his head in disbelief with his mouth hanging open stupidly. “It’s powered by your arc reactor, right? Or is it just powered by the element you discovered a year or so ago?” Tony still didn’t respond and instead stared at her, nearly forgetting to breathe. Cautiously she took a step closer to him still holding the glass of water in hand. “If you want me to consider working with you then I need to know more of the details about the project the press will hear about. I don’t want to sound like an idiot when I’m talking about it.”

“I…uh… _what?_ ” Tony blinked his eyes a few times and tried to think. His thoughts were fuzzy and hazy but he knew the answers to these questions. Even if they were hard to find he _knew_ them. Of course he could answer the questions about his own technology, he just had to move his lips and get his brain to cooperate long enough to form a few sentences. Scarlett waited patiently in front of him. She wasn’t going to push him into talking if he wasn’t yet ready to but she hoped that she could get him to say at least something.

If nothing else she hoped that she could get him to breathe and drink some water.

“Element.” Tony finally managed to answer; at least he _sort of_ managed an answer. “Not like the reactor in my chest.” Finally words were starting to make more sense and he was sounding less and less like a bumbling fool. “The energy will be created by the element and harnessed by the reactor. Like mine, but on a much bigger scale and less dangerous.” Tony nodded again and much to his surprise the world didn’t spin. He knew technology. It was a safe thing for him to talk about.

“That’s a pretty solid foundation for an idea. So you said there was some kind of problem with it. Tell me more about that.” Scarlett managed to make her way closer to him one step at a time. She leaned against the railing of the staircase and held onto the water carefully. When he was ready to let her close enough she would offer him the water but until then she was going to keep it close.

“Distribution. We currently use nuclear power, solar power, wind power, various methods of energy and it’s all transferred into amps and distributed by power lines throughout cities.” Tony explained even though he could tell that this was something Scarlett was already aware of. “This isn’t the same. New energy, new type of power. Too strong to simply plug in and let it go.” He still felt like Tarzan with the way he was talking. He couldn’t believe the voice coming out of him was, in fact, _him_. It scared him that he could find himself suddenly that far gone. But at least he could find words now! That was definitely some solid progress from the way he’d been losing his mind what seemed like only seconds ago.

“So the new current can’t translate to the old one?” Scarlett glanced over him as he spoke. While his speech was still incoherent and stuttered, it was still speech and that was progress from what it had been. Yes, he had told her to get lost but there had been no rhyme or reason as to why. She’d gotten him thinking and talking logically. When she was sure that his hands were no longer trembling, Scarlett took his right hand and urged the glass into it. Tony stared at it stupidly for a moment before realizing what it meant. When he didn’t go to take a drink from it, Scarlett urged his other hand around it so he wouldn’t drop it.

His gaze went from the cup to Scarlett who was looking at his hands and then back to the water. Why was she helping him? He expected to see some kind of worry or panic on her face but she was completely calm. If he didn’t know better he would’ve thought they were having an everyday normal conversation. What was this woman?

“That’s it.” Tony spoke but his mouth felt suddenly filled with cotton it was so dry. He took a long drink of the water at last. It was cool on his throat and instantly soothed the desert in his mouth. Greedily he drank until nearly half the glass had disappeared. “The difference in strength is so enormous that the results for testing have been catastrophic at times.” The gears seemed to be turning in Scarlett’s mind but she didn’t let him in on what she was thinking. Was she thinking about what had been going on in the stairwell or was she thinking about his energy problem? Tony wanted to know the answer but he also didn’t want to know.

“Catastrophic? Then the output on that reactor of yours must be far higher than I expected.” Scarlett turned the numbers over in her mind and seemingly answered Tony’s question at the same time. He took another drink and her eyes flitted toward the glass to see how much he’d finished. 

“It is. Incredibly so, actually. Working off of palladium my reactor could’ve kept me alive for fifty lifetimes.” Tony felt his hands stop shaking as he held the water. Concentrating on keeping the liquid still seemed to help him find serenity. His breathing didn’t seem as impaired now that he could focus on something. Scarlett’s behavior had, at first, seemed disconcerting but now Tony thought she was smarter than he had expected which was surprising considering how much he already knew about her. “The new element? It’s at least a hundred times that.”

“Wow.” Scarlett sat next to him on the stairs now that he no longer seemed likely to shove her away from him. She made sure to keep her distance from him so he wouldn’t feel crowded but crouching had become uncomfortable.

“Tell me about it, I just lost half a building the other day. Thankfully it was a small building in a contained area on a large piece of land away from the ever-judging eye of the press but still it goes to show you how well the testing is going.” Tony brought the glass to his lips again and drained the remaining liquid inside of it. He felt refreshed.

But he also felt drained. 

Whatever these attacks were they left him feeling as though he had just raced uphill for an hour. The panic wasn’t gripping him anymore. Even the image of Manhattan that still remained in his mind’s eye wasn’t causing him the same fear that it had only moments ago. Was that what had triggered it? Maybe it was the combination of being caught off guard and having been outside of his comfort zone for the first time in weeks. Either way, Tony was embarrassed that it had happened in front of Scarlett. Scarlett, however, didn’t seem at all bothered by what had happened. It was the first time that it had occurred to Tony that she must have ran out of her meeting to follow him. Why would she do that for him? The question repeated in his mind and he found no answers.

“So, Stark,” began Scarlett candidly, “how long have you been having panic attacks?” She’d made sure that he’d finished his water and that he seemed okay before asking. The last thing she wanted was to send him back into a fit. Tony stared at her with his mouth agape as he tried to figure out what to say. He hadn’t even come to terms with the fact that what he was experiencing _was_ a panic attack! There Scarlett was, having seen him at it for a few minutes, and knew exactly what he was going through.

There was no way she was _that_ smart. 

For the first time in years Tony felt intimidated by someone else’s intellect. Or maybe it wasn’t her intellect but rather her insight that left him feeling so vulnerable. Looking back to the blue eyed woman Tony didn’t see any judgment in her eyes, only concern. Here was a woman he barely knew anything about and she was concerned for him. She didn’t pity him, she wasn’t upset with him, she was genuinely concerned. Even though only a half an hour earlier he had broken into her office forcibly and had scared the hell out of her she was being kind to him.

“I, uh…” Tony’s mouth felt dry again but not from panic. He was nervous to say out loud that the attacks had really become a problem. Admitting it outside of his head would make it very real. He could very easily tell her that it was none of her business. Tony was sure that she would back off immediately since they were practical strangers. It wasn’t her place to nose around in his business. Who knows what she would do with this information? But for some reason Tony _knew_ that Scarlett wasn’t going to tell anyone else what she’d seen today no matter how he answered her question.

“You don’t have to tell me.” Scarlett smiled and nodded in understanding. “It’s a very personal question.” She looked straight ahead at the wall of the stairwell, expecting him to stay silent.

“Ever since I nearly died sending a nuke through a portal into the sky in Manhattan.” Tony spoke almost immediately after she turned her head away. He hadn’t expected to tell her the truth like that. Had he really been having panic attacks for that long? Maybe not attacks, per say, but that had been the root of his problems. The event with the Avengers had ultimately been what caused things to get to this point. “I know it sounds stupid. Some people don’t even believe it happened. But I saw it. I _lived_ it.” Tony turned on the stairs to look back at Scarlett. She had turned her attention back to him but didn’t say anything.

“I got home to Stark Tower and I thought that I’d be okay. I’ve been through worse than that. I made the decision to fly up there. No one asked me to.” Tony continued. He couldn’t stop now that he’d started. Somehow everything that he’d pent up since he’d returned to Malibu was pouring past his lips. “But I started seeing it in my sleep. Armies I couldn’t dream of fighting. And while I was flying I couldn’t reach Pepper to tell her I loved her and I kept losing her in my dreams. I thought it was the city causing me nightmares.” Tony leaned his elbows on his knees and brushed his hands through his hair. “So I went back to the house I had in Malibu. I thought the change would clear my thoughts.”

“A change of scenery.” Scarlett interjected quietly.

“Exactly!” Tony smiled but it faded quickly. She wasn’t judging him. The way Scarlett was talking to him, she was listening to him. She understood. She _really_ listened to him, every word that was coming out of his mouth. “But it didn’t help. I kept having these dreams and eventually it took a toll on me. I’m a problem solver, Scarlett, surely you understand that. So I would get up and when I couldn’t sleep I would work on armor to protect myself, to protect Pepper, to protect my friends. It wasn’t about the world anymore it was about the only people who matter to me. I saved the world more than once now. The world isn’t there to deal with the fallout. The world doesn’t see what it does to you. All they see are numbers. How much damage was done, how much it’ll cost to fix, how much time it’ll take to repair that damage.”

“You can’t expect them to.”

“I know that, I _do_.” Tony nodded his head to agree but continued. “But I… I couldn’t fix this. I can’t fix it. How am I supposed to fight something I can’t even see or understand?” He nervously clasped his hands together and exhaled deeply. If he panicked again while talking to Scarlett then he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself or likely show his face in front of her again. He thought about telling her about the nightmares and about the way that Pepper had shoved his fears aside. Would she do the same? Was he the one in the wrong? Maybe he was out of his mind to think that anyone should give a damn about the way he was suffering. He already felt stupid enough in his situation; he didn’t want to make it any worse.

“I ignored it and hoped it would go away. Pepper doesn’t get it, Happy doesn’t get it. I think I isolated myself without meaning to.” Tony tasted the words on his lips and winced. Had he? Hadn’t he _tried_ to talk to Pepper? She’d pushed him away, not the other way around. Or maybe they both had. “It didn’t go away. It got worse. Going outside, running my company, it all seemed unimportant. Nothing’s the way it used to be. I don’t know how it ever could be.” 

“It doesn’t _have_ to be the same.” Scarlett nodded her head, surprised that he was saying so much. Maybe it was the first time he was talking about it. 

There was no way that could be the case. Tony had so many people in his life, surely one of them was helping him.

“I know it can’t be. This is the first time I have been away from Malibu since then. I thought I was okay. I was feeling better and then I saw Manhattan behind your colleague or investor, whatever he was. Something snapped in my head so here we are.” Tony stopped. His mouth felt dry again but only because he’d spoken so quickly and said so much in such a short time. When he’d started talking he hadn’t been able to stop himself. It was the very definition of word vomit. Someone wanted to listen to him for the first time in what felt like forever. Yes, Rhodey had wanted to listen to him but Rhodey had pitied him from the moment he’d answered his call the other day. 

“Distraction is your best friend.” Scarlett spoke after he waited expectantly. He had expected her to apologize for his suffering as most people did when they heard someone’s tragic tale. “I know you think working on your armor is a distraction but it’s not. You’re fixating on what’s causing your anxiety.”

“You really think that? Just from what I said?” Tony furrowed his brow.

“I do. Coming here, flying through my window, talking to me. You didn’t do that because of some fear, you did it in spite of it. That’s a _real_ distraction. It’s not always that the distractions work, but they help calm you.”

“That’s why you asked me about the energy project.” Tony tried not to stare with his mouth hanging open anymore but he couldn’t help it. He’d thought she was crazy for bringing up work when he was hyperventilating but now he’d realized how brilliant an idea it had been. When he was thinking about the energy project he wasn’t thinking about what he’d seen and how he’d been panicking. How the hell did she know what to do to help him?

“Yeah, it is. I knew if you talked about something you were proficient in and passionate about you would have to stop thinking about whatever set you off.” Scarlett sighed. Whatever she’d done, it had worked. It was a relief.

“Brilliant.”

“I’ve been told I’m pretty clever at times.” Scarlett smiled and then furrowed her brow. He obviously hadn’t told her the whole story. It seemed to her like he was scared to admit it, as though she wouldn’t listen or wouldn’t understand. “You shouldn’t suffer in silence.” Tony snapped his gaze toward her and stared in confusion. Was it that obvious to her? Apparently so. “If no one knows then no one can understand. It may sound silly outside of your head but if you suffer in silence it _will_ destroy you. It compounds the anxiety and only proves to exacerbate things.” She turned her gaze away from his brown eyes. They seemed to be searching her for more than she was willing to reveal. Her day had been dedicated to Tony Stark far more than she had expected it to be. “You’ll self destruct.”

“How do you know so much about this stuff?” Tony held out his hands, exasperated. Scarlett smiled but seemed reluctant to respond to him. 

“I know what post traumatic stress disorder looks like, Tony.” Scarlett finally turned her gaze back to him. He seemed desperate to understand.

“No, I don’t have…” Tony immediately rejected the notion of suffering PTSD. That was for victims of war and who had experienced a significant trauma. Tony was _not_ a victim. 

Wasn’t he though? Hadn’t he experienced a significant trauma? He’d never thought of it like that before.

“You are. I’ve been there, Stark.” Scarlett thought about placing a hand on his back and comforting him but didn’t want to cross a line. She barely knew him. “PTSD is different for everyone but it’s ultimately stress created following a traumatic experience. We all hit our breaking point, no one’s immune. Not even the genius Tony Stark.” When Scarlett didn’t elaborate Tony sat next to her in silence. Could it really be true that he was suffering from PTSD? How could that be? Even when he’d come home from Afghanistan after the incident that had left him with the arc reactor in his chest he hadn’t been affected this terribly. Or had he been? Wasn’t becoming Iron Man a way of coping with it for him? In a way, it had been his cry for help and had also become his salvation. 

“What I really wonder is what happened to you.” Tony folded his arms on his knees and turned his attention back to her again. “What could you have possibly gone through? You said you’re familiar with PTSD because you went through it. So what happened?” Much to his surprise Scarlett smiled after the intrusive question. He’d expected her to tell him it was none of his business or to get defensive. If she had ever asked him flat out what had happened he might have never told her. Scarlett had known how to maneuver around the hard questions and make him comfortable enough to want to tell her on his own. And of course she had done it like it was no big deal. When he’d told her she was brilliant she’d shrugged it off. It _was_ possible that she actually cared but Tony was still waiting for the axe to drop. 

“I’d have to kill you if I told you.” She obviously wasn’t prepared to talk about it with him and Tony couldn’t blame her. He let it go for the time being. Hell, he’d told her way more than he had ever intended to and he wasn’t sure yet if that was a good thing or a bad thing. The weight in his chest was supposed to lift after talking about a great heavy stress, right? It hadn’t. Instead the weight settled right into his stomach and made it churn. 

“Still funny, even when talking about such a sensitive subject.” Tony smirked, offering up a laugh in response to her. Scarlett nodded her head but she hadn’t been joking. She probably wouldn’t have had to _kill_ him if he had learned more about her history but there would’ve been consequences. There were perfectly good reasons for her to keep her past out of the limelight and so she would do her best to do just that for as long as she could. Tony clearly thought that she was joking and that her mysteries were part of her persona. At least he could find humor in the situation.

“Why don’t we go downtown and grab a drink?” Scarlett got up from where she sat on the stairs and wiped off her palms. Then she took the empty glass from Tony and offered him a hand to get to his feet. Pursing his lips, Tony stared at her hand and then back up at Scarlett. Her blue eyes were hiding secrets and he wanted to know what they were. But for now he wondered mostly if she was asking him out. Was he allowed to say yes? “You do still drink, right?”

“I do.” Tony took her hand and got to his feet. His legs were surprisingly tense but also wobbly. He was grateful for her help once he’d taken it even though only seconds ago he had been positive that he didn’t need it. Tony made a mental note to ask if panic attacks could cause the physical instability he felt. Even after talking to her he wasn’t completely convinced that was his problem. There were too many symptoms for this to be in his head! “I’m not a cheap date, just a fair warning.” Tony followed her out of the stairwell and back into the empty hallway. He guessed that no one came down this way very often. 

“I know.” Scarlett smiled knowingly before walking back into her workshop. She set the glass down on the counter and left it for later. “You had a reputation about your drinking habits. I’m not a cheap date either.” Scarlett heaved a sigh and searched the room. The air felt clear again now that the situation with Tony had been addressed.

“I didn’t want you to get the wrong impression.” Tony wasn’t sure what he had meant when he’d said it, to be honest. He’d been trying to buy time before making a decision to go with her. On one hand he really _wanted_ to go grab a drink with her and on the other hand he knew that he probably shouldn’t. But it seemed more important that he _really_ wanted to. How long had it been since he’d done something he’d really wanted to do?

“I know you’re not single.” Scarlett pulled the ponytail out of her hair and shook it free. Now that she wasn’t going to work on anything it didn’t need to be up. She would have to get changed before going out in public again. “And I’m not the sex fiend that that the reporters make me out to be.” 

“Well, I wouldn’t go so far as to dismiss _that_.” Tony would be very disappointed to find out that half the rumors he’d read about her in the last few days had been untrue. He had a very lovely image of her in his head when he’d read them and he would very much hate to lose it. Even if they weren’t true, he had firmly decided that she was as sexually capable as she was mentally. 

“It’ll be a working lunch.” Scarlett sat on the table she had earlier used in her meeting and folded her arms over her chest as she faced Tony. “Mostly a lunch of scotch I’m hoping.” She smiled knowingly. “At least for me.”

“That sounds perfect.” Tony couldn’t deny that he wanted to go and he decided not to. Why would he? Scarlett was helping him and listening to him. For someone who had been threatening to have him thrown out of her building only an hour ago she was sure far more understanding than anyone else he seemed to come into contact with. Then again, she hadn’t really threatened to throw him out. For some reason, he’d thought that she would do that immediately after the incident in her office. Scarlett had agreed to hear him out from the get go, he’d only ever assumed that she would throw him out. 

“I have to get changed before we go out. The paparazzi are incredibly judgmental.”

“Hopefully back into that little Dior number you had on.”

“It’s _not_ Dior.” Scarlett rolled her eyes and got up from the table before patting his shoulder. “Why don’t you wait in the hall?”

“If I must.” Tony hung his head dramatically and then stepped out into the hallway. He’d expected many things when he’d flown into Boston that morning but what he’d gotten out of the trip thus far had not been any of those things. Refuge was turning out to be worthy of its namesake.


	8. Scotch

“Are you sure you’re prepared for this?” Scarlett checked her phone but didn’t bother looking up from the screen. She had gotten changed while Tony waited in the hallway observing the quieter areas of the building. During that time he’d cleaned up and managed to recover his stamina after his fit in her workshop. As far as he was concerned he was back to his usual self and looked as good as he had when he’d first arrived.

“Fresh air? Drinks at a dive in Boston? What’s hard to handle about that?” Tony chuckled, straightening his tie and taking in the beautifully decorated modern lobby of Refuge.

“The press, not our liquid lunch.” Scarlett finally turned away from her phone and tucked it into her clutch purse that she slipped under her arm. She absolutely hated purses, but where was she supposed to hide her phone and more importantly her gun in a dress like the one she had on now? There was no room and while it was inconvenient to carry around, her clutch provided the space she required.

“The press?” Tony peered out the glass front doors and widened his eyes. He hadn’t realized what was waiting outside for them but it didn’t change his mind either. There was a very short list of things that Tony was afraid of and while that list had recently grown quite a bit thanks to whatever had caused his apparent PTSD, the press still wasn’t on it. He found the reporters more amusing than anything else. Besides, given where he was and who he was with, he highly doubted that the media would ask about New York or anything that would be a trigger for him. There were far more important questions they had burning in the back of their mind.

“They stalk me these days.” Scarlett spoke with distaste and walked next to him, folding her arms over her chest. Tony glanced at her and then tilted his head in approval.

“I can’t rightly blame them.”

“Maybe they’ll bother you a little more now that they see you’re out of hiding.” Scarlett watched the media outside. For hours they waited, hoping to get a moment of her time. Hopefully after the hype died down about her company going public they would find something better to do with their time. S.H.I.E.L.D. told her publicity was good, it was important that the public cared about her. She hated knowing they were right. “So are you ready for this? Or do we need to find a back exit for you? You could always meet up with me in that suit of yours.”

“You don’t want pictures of us together, do you?” Tony shoved his hands into his pockets and looked at her accusingly.

“That’s not what I said.”

“You’re afraid that between the rumor mill spinning behind you and my lengthy but historic reputation…”

“Historic is not the word I would’ve chosen.” Scarlett laughed but she couldn’t deny that it was exactly what she was concerned about.

“I’m sure at some point I broke some kind of record, so historic is precisely the word that should be used.” Tony walked toward the glass door. “Nothing they say about your personal life matters ultimately, except for the confirmation that comes from your lips. Now let’s get going.” Before Scarlett could say another word Tony walked out the door and down the stone steps that led to the street in front of Refuge. At first the press was quiet and didn’t bother turning their attention toward him. That lasted a mere few seconds before they turned their attention toward him and whispers spread around to confirm his identity.

Scarlett watched out the glass doors and sighed heavily. Tony stopped at the second to last step and turned his attention back to the doors, staring at her expectantly through the glass.

“Here goes nothing.” Scarlett pushed them open and joined Tony on the stairs. At once the media swarm grew and the questions being asked were drowned out by the sheer enormity of the voices clamoring all at once. Flashing lights went off left and right to catch a picture of them together. The questions Scarlett had expected to hear hummed around her but she chose to ignore them. Tony waved to the press before slipping his sunglasses on and starting down the steps. When Scarlett didn’t at once follow he marched back up them. Resting his hand gingerly on her back he escorted her down the stairs. “You love every second of this, don’t you?” She shook her head in disbelief as they continued down the steps and across the lengthy decorative entrance to Refuge.

“I’d be lying if I said no.” Tony waved to the press and nodded to the black car at the end of the drive. “That one yours?”

“Yeah, it’ll take us downtown.” Scarlett stopped when the press dared to move closer. She opened her mouth to speak but Tony did first and she mentally deflated.

“I’ve missed you too.” Tony held his hands up to silence the questions and much to Scarlett’s surprise, they actually quieted. “This is just a working lunch so don’t get any ideas.”

“And we will not be answering any questions about it as I’ve said before in the past. If you want information about any work that will be happening in the future you can consult a press release.” Scarlett grabbed Tony’s arm and nodded to the car. “Can we…?”

“Just a minute, why not take a few questions?”

“Mostly because I don’t want to.” Scarlett had been hoping to avoid this _exact_ scenario. Her voice was drowned out by reporters shouting out questions at Tony’s behest. Many asked about their involvement with each other. Some addressed her reputation, the rumors of her relationship with Nathan and how this deal with Tony would affect that.

“The last I checked the word work has very little to do with romance.” Tony nodded his head and pointed to another reporter. “You, do you have a question for me?” A pretty blond held up her digital recorder and batted her eyelashes at him. “Oh, I sure hope you do.”

“Rumor on the street has it that your relationship with your former assistant is on the…” Before she could finish Scarlett talked over her much to the amusement of the crowd of reporters.

“That isn’t news. When you’re done playing around, Tony, I’ll meet you in the car.” Questions were immediately raised at how defensive Scarlett had seemed on the subject. As promised she walked away from the questions but half of the reporters followed after her in hopes of a sound bite.

“Miss Damien! Miss Damien, I have a question!” A dark haired, dark skinned reporter pushed through the crowd to follow alongside Scarlett who stopped short at the door of the car being held open by its driver.

“You have twenty seconds.” Scarlett leaned against the door and looked toward the reporter. Tony was regaling the crowd with something Scarlett was sure was going to get her in trouble in the paper soon enough. “Maybe thirty, depending on chatty Kathy over there.” 

“Miss Damien, your company going public reflected one of the best days on the market this year, what do you have to say to that?”

“Oh, look at you! A real news question.” Scarlett leaned against the frame of the door and considered her answer. The reporter was one she was familiar with. “Miss Hendricks, right?”

“Mrs.” The pretty reporter responded, surprised she had been remembered.

“Since you asked me a real question that actually pertains to the validity of my corporation, I’ll give you a quote. It would be naïve to think that the Dow Jones jumping three hundred points and my company going public was a coincidence. It’s the best day the market has had this year, you’re right. I think it’s good news for Wall Street. People are interested in what they’re buying again. With any luck, I’ll deliver on everyone’s hopes very soon and other companies will follow suit.” Scarlett turned away from the reporter and back to Tony who was still answering questions. “If you don’t get in this car then we’re not going to lunch.” Tony perked up at the sound of her voice and turned to face her.

“Sorry folks, that’s all for today.” Tony winked and started toward the car, his hands again in his pockets.

“Mr. Stark! One more thing.” Tony turned to face the group of paparazzi snapping pictures. “It’s good to see you back in the public eye.”

“It’s good to be back.” Tony waved both his hands once more to the crowd and then got into the car where Scarlett was already waiting for him. “So where are we going?”

“The driver already knows. I’m a member of a cigar club downtown. It’s private and the press won’t hound us in there.” Scarlett leaned forward with her elbows on her knees and rubbed her temples.

“You really hate that, don’t you?” Tony nodded out the window. Scarlett threw him a look that told him what he’d done was clearly uncalled for but then nodded her head.

“You seem to love it.”

“They eat up every word, it’s hilarious. You can’t take them so seriously. They’re going to print whatever they want about you regardless of how you handle it. Being bothered by them is only going to add fuel to flame.”

“Thanks, but I think I’m doing just fine.” Scarlett sat up straight as the ride progressed. They talked about cigars and the paparazzi for the remainder of the ride. Soon enough they pulled up in front of a building on a Boston street corner that seemed rather abandoned in the middle of the afternoon. They walked up a flight of stairs and through a series of glass doors, the second being held open for them by a large man with a stern face wearing an archaic-looking suit. Scarlett didn’t bother showing her credentials. The man at the front desk greeted her like an old friend and told her that her customary table near the window was ready. 

Tony followed her through the cigar club curiously. It was dank , dark, and most importantly, it was private. Scarlett had a corner booth on an elevated platform guarded by a few decorative partitions. To say Tony was impressed was an understatement. This place was classy; it reminded him of a club he used to go to downtown after his workday in Manhattan. He shook the thought of the city from his mind as quickly as he could manage. The last thing he wanted was to have a meltdown in a prominent public place. 

So far his return to the limelight had been entirely successful. Even he’d been impressed with how he’d handled the questions from the reporters. Most of them had been in regards to his involvement with Scarlett and the way she’d shoved off any rumors before they’d begun but it had been fun addressing them nonetheless. He wouldn’t have been surprised if he got home and found the paparazzi outside of the gates to his driveway like he had in the old days.

“This place is nice, I like it.” Tony sat down across the table from Scarlett who was already looking at the drink menu. He couldn’t believe that only a half an hour ago she had brilliantly distracted him out of having a panic attack. Things felt completely different now than they had then and yet he knew, somehow, that he could continue to confide in her. Tony had never quite trusted as easily as he was at this moment. There was a feeling he had about Scarlett Damien. He wasn’t sure what that feeling was quite yet, but somehow he just _knew_ that she was there to help even if she didn’t know it yet.

“It’s about the only place I can keep the press out of my hair in Boston.” Scarlett scoffed and then offered him the drink menu. “The food is pretty good here if you’re hungry. Sorry the place stinks, it _is_ a cigar club after all.”

“I like cigars, actually. For a ritzy place, it’s pretty dead right now.” Tony peered over the drink menu but knew exactly what he was going to get without having to look. He wasn’t feeling particularly hungry but he could always go for a glass of scotch and hopefully it would be fine enough that it wouldn’t need ice. He guessed in a place like this that the scotch was both expensive and fine and his worries would be for naught.

“Give it an hour and it’ll be filled with semi-celebrities from all over the city retiring for the evening. I met Matt Damon in here once, probably the coolest celebrity I’ve run into so far. Very busy guy though, didn’t have more than a minute to chat. Made a point to introduce himself though.” Scarlett shrugged her shoulders with a smile.

“Very nice. And what about me? I don’t outrank Matt Damon?” Tony laughed and folded his arms on the table. “So who was that reporter you talked to? Nice skin, a little short… but pretty.” Tony remembered, quickly changing the subject.

“That is what you’d recall, I suppose. Her name is Dianne Hendricks and she’s an annoyingly persistent pain in my ass. Somehow she always manages to find out where I am and tries to weasel a story out of me.” Scarlett rolled her eyes but Tony could see a smile on her lips. She obviously was more amused with the press than he had suspected earlier. Maybe it had just been being in the press with _him_ that had bothered her. He couldn’t rightly blame her, given everything he’d read about her in the past few days. “And no, you don’t outrank Matt Damon. Are you Jason Bourne? I don’t think so.”

“If she’s annoying then why bother to throw her a bone like you did?” Tony countered and then tapped his fingers on the table. “And I’m Iron Man, a _real life_ super hero, not some fictional super spy.”

“Because she’s one of the only reporters who bothers to ask me about anything that matters,” laughed Scarlett with a smile. “So since she’s so persistent and obviously very passionate about her job I don’t mind giving her an actual story when it’s not about my love life. All anyone seems to care about is my love life. People are so nosy” She rolled her eyes and rested her chin in her hand. She neglected to respond to his ego. It seemed he wasn’t very good at staying on topic anyway and didn’t need any help being distracted.

“What is going on with that by the way? I can’t tell who you’re dating and who you’re not according to magazines. It’s all _very_ confusing. Honestly I think you might be dating _me_ now according to the papers.” Tony had intended for the joke to be amusing but guessed that was exactly what Scarlett was trying to avoid. “Is it that guy you were on the conference call with? Nathan you called him, I think? Is that the British theater guy who invested in your company who you’re apparently shacking up with at every given opportunity? Or maybe your obsession with Matt Damon is more than that and it’s him or something.”

“Let me ask you a question, Tony.” Scarlett began nonchalantly as the waiter started toward their table. “How well are things actually going for you and Miss Potts considering the only person the press ever sees her with is your driver?” Scarlett looked up at the waiter and smiled pleasantly. “MacCallan, Twelve year please. Neat.” She turned her gaze back to Tony who looked completely taken aback. Scarlett’s fire had returned and quickly. He thought she would become defensive or sheepish but instead she’d done quite the opposite.

“Touché.” Tony pursed his lips and then nodded to Scarlett but addressed the waiter. “I’ll have what she’s having. Not the British theater guy or Matt Damon but the scotch.” Tony clarified and then smiled smugly at Scarlett who shook her head at him in dismay but with a smile on her face. 

“We’re here on business so why don’t we keep talking about this energy project you have going on. I’m fascinated by it, really.” Scarlett nodded, diverting the conversation artfully away from personal topics. Tony wasn’t surprised, considering how popular she’d gotten in such a short period of time. She had to have mastered the art of diverting conversation away from topics she didn’t wish to discuss. Not to mention there was literally no personal information of any kind other than romantic speculation on the woman. She had been interviewed about her past-times and hobbies of course, but Tony thought for some reason all of those interviews had seemed staged.

Scarlett was still as much of a mystery as she had been when he’d arrived. Somehow she knew how to calm him down during a panic attack and had recognized that he was suffering some kind of post traumatic stress. There was a story in there and Tony vowed silently to get to the bottom of it. 

“I suppose that’s reasonable but I haven’t gotten my drink yet…” Tony held his hand up as the waiter approached, to silence her and then thanked him promptly. Bread and oil was brought over to the table as a complementary service for the two of them to share. Tony picked up his glass of scotch and swirled it, inhaling the earthy but oddly sweet aroma. To him, scotch smelled like Christmas not because it reminded him of pine, but it reminded him of warmth and happiness. “To newfound partnerships.”

“To not jumping the gun.” Scarlett corrected but picked up her own glass to clink against his. “Cheers.”

“Cheers.” Tony took a long drink of the amber liquid. It burned as it went down his throat but it was also smooth and lingered perfectly the way a fine scotch should. “That’s the good stuff.”

“I’ve always been fond of MacCallan.” Scarlett set down her glass and looked to him expectantly. “So this energy thing…”

“Right, well I have a confession to make about that actually.”

“I swear if you made the whole thing up just to irritate me and throw off my day.” Scarlett began but she knew there was no way that Tony had faked the story about the project or that he was interested in her involvement. He’d been able to pull details out of the wind when his mind had clearly been in some distress. None of what he’d said in that stairwell had been a lie, even if half of what he said earlier had been. She had the distinct feeling that Tony wasn’t very used to lying in general. He was used to saying exactly what he wanted to say and having enough money for people to deal with it without much of a problem.

“Not at all. But I haven’t physically gotten to work on this project in months. Not since before I moved back to Malibu.” His brown eyes met her blue ones in a brief glimpse of understanding. She nodded reassuringly.

“That’s fine. You said you were running tests still and I assume that meant your staff and not you. I think it’s about time to get your hands dirty again, Stark.”

“Oh, you have no idea how badly I’d like to do that with you.” Tony swirled the glass of scotch and watched the tiny vortex that formed before he looked back to her when he realized she was narrowing her eyes at him suspiciously. “To be honest lately I’ve been swept up in working on my newest Mark.” Scarlett suddenly became far more interested in their discussion and turned her eyes away from the window where they’d drifted. Tony was surprised at just how interested she was.

“The one you flew into my office?”

“You see, the target _was_ your balcony. I’ve been running a few crazy tests on this thing and building in a way I don’t usually build to try and break some bad habits and develop some new technology. Problem is, it’s not going at all the way I planned. Then I see this article about you and your artificial limbs. You’ve developed technology so seamless with the human body that it can be controlled without brain surgery. That’s remarkable.” Tony stated rather than asked though the question burned in his mind. So far he’d only seen public demonstrations and press conferences on the matter. He needed to hear firsthand just how far along her project was. She curled her lips into a confident smirk but kept him waiting. Time seemed to pass slower than usual as she mulled over her answer. “Well, is it true?” Tony couldn’t wait any longer, he had to have an answer.

“It is.” Scarlett nodded reassuringly, confidence on the matter oozing off of her. “Completely seamless. The technology was the easy part but the regenerative cells were a bit tougher. I’ve been working with a few doctors and scientists around the country to develop it further and make the limbs themselves as lifelike as possible. That technology is still in the works and will take awhile to come to fruition. But the control is done. Completely finished. You’re not to say a word about how far I am to anyone.”

“Wow.” Tony set down his glass and leaned back in his seat. The very idea of what she’d developed was astounding.

“If you don’t mind me asking before I’ve actually agreed to do any work with you, how does what I’m doing pertain to what you’re doing with your suits?” Scarlett pointed toward the spot where she knew his reactor was hidden beneath his shirt.

“That is a good question.” Tony was still astounded by how enraptured she was by his every word pertaining to the arc reactor. He didn’t think he could’ve gotten her to have that much interest in it but she was positively eating out of his hand. “My current Mark well… I’m trying to find a new way to summon it. For awhile I carried one around in a briefcase but it couldn’t fly and the design was limited due to the constriction and well, the fact that it weighed a ton and I couldn’t always carry it with me. Then I had bracelets that I’d tested and would wear and it could locate me from there and come when I called it as long as I was within range.”

“Bracelets, really?” Scarlett looked surprised and searched his wrists for them but found only his expensive watch there instead. “How did that work?”

“Well, each bracelet had a geo locating chip inside of it. From there I was able to map out the rest of my form in relation to the bracelets. The technology inside of the Mark VII was able to find the bracelets, do a quick calculation to make sure that the positioning was correct and I wouldn’t be crushed, then engulf me. I could show you, it’s far simpler than it sounds.”

“It sounds brilliant.” Scarlett scoffed.

“I’ll take that as a compliment.” Tony was impressed that she offered them so freely.

“You should.”

“If I didn’t know better I’d think you were a Stark fangirl.”

“Oh god, no. I’m not one of those.” Scarlett laughed, her eyes sparkling with amusement. Tony couldn’t help but be enamored by it. “I couldn’t stand you for the longest time, actually. You see I worked overseas for years and years. You were always in the paper back then and all over the news. Other engineers and scientists sort of despise you sometimes. You give the rest of us a bad name, well you used to at least. It took me a very long time to realize that you’re not a bad guy, not at all.” Scarlett shook her head knowingly. “A pig and a dirt bag maybe, but you’re genuinely a decent human being who just can’t help himself in front of a camera.”

“I have mixed feelings on how this compliment thing turned out for me.” Tony furrowed his brow but understood where she was coming from. It wasn’t the first time he’d heard that sort of accusation from someone he worked with or had pursued. Other scientists and greater minds were always put off by his public persona. Only when they worked with him and realized that he was as talented as the papers claimed him to be did they learn to tolerate his personality quirks. 

“You’re getting off track. You had bracelets and now what are you trying to do? Didn’t that work well enough?” Scarlett very much wanted to talk about the Iron Man technology and she made no attempts to hide it. Why should she? It was fantastic technology.

“Eager, aren’t we? Practically chomping at the bit.”

“Yes, I am.”

“Wow.” Tony was impressed still by the way she handled dealing with him. He hadn’t been so frequently wowed in a very long time. “So, the bracelets were a brilliant idea, if I do say so myself, and they worked for a little bit but there was a massive problem with them in the long run.”

“Which was?” Scarlett waved her hand in front of her before taking another long drink.

“With distance the signal would get lost. So I had to always be within a few miles of my suit. That would be fine if the suit wasn’t so cumbersome. I needed to come up with a way of summoning my armor to me without having to carry it around over long distances.”

“That would pose a problem.” Scarlett racked her brain to try and think of an answer to his predicament but none immediately came to mind.

“I worked on my technology but nothing helped me solve this issue. I enhanced many other features and created a crazy amount of new weapons tech in the process. But I still couldn’t fix the one thing I wanted to. Which is where this particular Mark comes in.”

“The one in my office, you mean.”

“Yes, it’s not there anymore because I had Jarvis bring it back to my plane while we were gone.”

“Jarvis?” Scarlett had heard rumors of Tony’s super computer, an artificially intelligent being that worked for him almost as a butler.

“Just a Rather Very Intelligent System. Clever isn’t it?”

“I guess.” Scarlett shrugged her shoulders.

“When you see him in action, you’ll be far more impressed.” Tony reassured her, looking at her over the rim of his glass as he took another drink.

“ _If_ I see him in action.”

“Still not sold, are we?” Tony cocked an eyebrow.

“No, I’m not.” She smiled softly. “I am, however, very curious and that’s a good sign for you.”

“I can tell.” Tony tapped his fingers against his leg. “I was thinking that maybe with your technology we could rig up a way for me to summon my suits piece by piece to me without brain surgery. I’ve tried sensors under the skin but it’s incredibly painful and eventually they have to be removed because my body treats them like an infection.” Scarlett winced and looked away at the very sound of that. “Don’t ask how I found that out.”

“I won’t, I got the picture, very vividly.” Scarlett waved it off, still making a rather disgusted face. “That is an intriguing idea though, Mr. Stark.”

“You’re literally killing me, calling me by my last name. Mr. Stark was my dad.”

“You’re in your forties, I’m pretty sure it’s socially acceptable to refer to you as Mr. Stark.” Scarlett laughed under her breath. 

“Hey! Hey, we don’t have that kind of talk. You’re only as young as you feel.” Tony warned, but smiled over his scotch. The panic he’d felt earlier seemed like a distant memory. Even when he’d gone drinking with Rhodey a few days ago he hadn’t felt quite like his old self. Scarlett had seen him at his worst and wasn’t babying him or giving him that look, the look of pity that Rhodey so often gave him.

“So you want to treat your Marks… that’s what you called them, right?”

“Correct.”

“You want to treat them like a high tech prosthesis?” She wasn’t sure she correctly understood. As entertaining as it was talking to Tony Stark she was far more interested in the work he wanted done on his suits. Honestly she was surprised that he would trust anyone to look at them. Considering the stink he’d thrown about them in a public setting about how they belonged to him and only him, she was still flummoxed as to why he’d choose her of all people. 

“That’s exactly it. The suit and I are one. I’ve said that on more than one occasion. I am Iron Man now. It took me a very long time to accept that.” Tony watched her curiously as he nursed his glass of scotch. He had to be careful that he didn’t drink too fast otherwise he might say too much. He had to hold his cards close to his chest or else he might never be able to lure her in to taking the job. Why it mattered to him so much that she actually took it was beyond him. It wasn’t just her anymore, it was a symbol for something. If Tony could talk her into working with him then he still had parts of his old self buried somewhere deep within.

She seemed particularly interested in his technology and for that he couldn’t blame her. His mind recalled when he’d first seen her, all dolled up like a glamorous movie star, one you didn’t see much in the papers anymore and surrounded by security. Oh right, that was something Tony had wanted to ask. Scarlett had been surrounded by S.H.I.E.L.D. agents at the press conference. While he’d found no sign of S.H.I.E.L.D. at her office he was still curious as to what their involvement was. He couldn’t explain it but he had this _feeling_ that it didn’t have anything to do with the product that Rhodey had been describing. 

Somehow Tony knew that there was some real mystery to Scarlett Damien and he wanted nothing more than to find out what it was. But she didn’t trust him and she’d made that perfectly clear from the moment they met. He may have felt this strange tug to her but she was holding back and he assumed it was for good reason. Something told him that if he asked her about S.H.I.E.L.D. now he’d get the cold shoulder. No, right now he had one too many demons to battle before he got what he wanted. If he convinced her to work with him then he’d have plenty of opportunities to pry further into the enigma that was her life.

It was like a puzzle for Tony, a fascinating and sexy puzzle. Tony knew he couldn’t start putting the pieces together until he had them all laid out on the table. It would take a lot of work to get to the final picture but he had a feeling that when it was all put together it would be well worth the effort. Instead, Tony shoved the thought of S.H.I.E.L.D. into the back of his mind for a time much further in the future and concentrated on what obviously interested her.

“You are incredibly fascinated by the Iron Man suits, aren’t you?” Tony smirked and then looked down at her glass in surprise to find that she had drained it. “Thirsty, are you?”

“Don’t worry about me. I can hold my liquor just fine.” Scarlett nodded resolutely and leaned back in her comfortable seat. “And of course I’m interested in your suits, Tony. The most intriguing thing about you is your Iron Man armor.” Tony instantly frowned.

“The most intriguing thing about me?”

“What did you expect me to say? As an engineer and a scientist particularly interested in new technology, specifically robotics, it’s very interesting for me to see the suits close up. Plus you make such a display with them it’s hard not to be curious.” Scarlett laughed but Tony looked deeply offended.

“I am clearly a very interesting man! Are you missing all of this?” Tony waved his hands in front of him, the right one still holding his glass of scotch. Scarlett laughed and shook her head from side to side.

“That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

“Oh, please do elaborate.” Tony set down his glass and folded his hands in front of him then batted his eyelashes.

“I know only a few things about you that are true Tony. You’re a genius, yes, that much is obvious but welcome to the club. You’re dating, which takes a lot of the interesting things about you away, at least what I know from your reputation. Then of course, I know that you’re Iron Man and that is _very_ interesting to me. So what is it you would like me to elaborate upon? The obvious conclusion drawn here is that the most intriguing thing about you to a woman like me, who you also know very little about, is that you are a super hero without any supernatural abilities at all.”

“Oh, I have supernatural abilities. I just can’t show them to you here because I’m pretty sure indecent exposure is still a thing even in Boston.” Tony took a curious look around at the cigar club that was filling up at long last. No one gave them a second look. That surprised Tony. Even in private clubs in Los Angeles he got looks, but not here. Had Scarlett given them a warning of some kind? He couldn’t blame her. She didn’t seem anywhere near as fond of the limelight as he was.

“You know I’ve discovered something interesting about men who brag too much.”

“And that is?” Tony leaned eagerly over the table to hear her insight. A buzzing sound beneath the table distracted him and caught his gaze. Reaching into her pocket, just as distracted, Scarlett pulled out her phone and scrutinized whether or not to answer the call from her assistant. 

“Often they’re compensating for something lacking.” Scarlett smiled then slid out of her chair and held up her phone. “Excuse me, I have to take this. She’ll just keep calling if I don’t.” She walked off, phone in hand, buzzing until she answered the call.

“Hang around with me long enough and you won’t need that thing anymore!” Tony smirked and watched her walk away, hoping she caught his sexual gag.

“Jinx, I swear if this is about this morning I’m hanging up.” Scarlett walked away from the table so Tony wouldn’t overhear her conversation but stifled a laugh as she did. For someone who wasn’t single Tony sure made conversation like he was.

“Widow’s waiting for you.” Jinx’s tone was quiet and serious. The mood around Scarlett changed entirely and her heart dropped into her stomach. She stole a glance back at the table where Tony was chatting up the waiter, paying her no mind. Nothing good could’ve happened if the Black Widow had shown up out of the blue.

“Right now?” Scarlett sighed, longingly thinking of a glass of red wine and knowing she wouldn’t get it, at least not tonight. 

“Right now.” Jinx confirmed. “She says it’s important. I have her waiting for you upstairs.” Resounding to the fact that she would have no red wine in her near future, Scarlett nodded resolutely and heaved a sigh.

“Fine, I’ll be there as soon as I can. I’m downtown so it’ll be a little bit.” Scarlett went to hang up but Jinx spoke before she could.

“Though if we _could_ talk about this morning just for a minute…”

“Goodbye, Jinx.” Scarlett hung up her phone and brushed her fingers through her hair. She’d been having a nice time with Tony, talking about work even if most of what they discussed seemed more like flirting and casual conversation. 

“So you don’t know _anything_ else? Not even a confirmation of some gossip or something?” Tony scrutinized the waiter carefully before sipping the very little that remained of his scotch. “Oh hey, you’re back.” Tony turned his attention away from the waiter and back to Scarlett with a smile. But something about her had changed. Her blue eyes had dulled and she seemed somehow more intimidating than she had previously. “Is everything okay?”

“I’m sorry I have to cut this short.” Scarlett smiled apologetically but Tony pouted anyway.

“We’re only one drink in, I’m still sipping.” Tony showed her the near empty glass and then reclined in his seat. “Put it off until tomorrow. What is it anyway that could be more important than drinks with me?”

“You mean drinks with a practical stranger? Gee, I can’t imagine…” Despite how she joked with him Tony got the distinct feeling that whatever had happened during those few minutes she’d been gone was serious enough to leave her shaken. Something nasty had gotten under her skin.

“Are you sure everything’s okay? Maybe I could come with you and help out. You seem perturbed.”

“It’s nothing.” Scarlett waved her hand and then held it up to stop him from arguing. “Something came up at work and I have to go.”

“That’s what I say when I’m trying to make a quick exit.” Tony pointed one finger of the hand that still held his glass.

“Someone arrived this evening who I wasn’t supposed to see until tomorrow. Unfortunately she’s not the kind of person who likes to be kept waiting. So I’m going to have to take a rain check for this drink. It’s unfortunate. I don’t even have a buzz yet.” 

“Me neither. I was hoping to get a bottle of Cabernet and some food out of the deal.” Tony resigned to the fact that he wasn’t going to talk to Scarlett anymore that night. Now that he realized how late in the afternoon it was he _knew_ he should be getting home anyway. Pepper was going to be mad enough at him as it was. He found himself wishing that he didn’t have someone to check in with. Then he could’ve gotten a hotel for the night in Boston so he could pursue Scarlett until he’d had a concrete answer to whether or not she would work with him. 

“As tempting as that sounds I really can’t. You have no idea how badly I want a good Napa Cab.” 

“So where does this leave us then?” Tony set down his glass and watched her curiously. “Have you decided yet?”

“No.” Scarlett shook her head and folded her arms over her chest. She knew that she should decline but she was intrigued by what he was offering. S.H.I.E.L.D. had told her to remain in the public eye, after all. Working with Tony was probably a good way to do that without having to involve anything that was rumor based. Then again, working with Tony would also introduce a whole new series of rumors for her to deal with. “Before I agree to anything I need to do my research. Which means I’ll have to travel to Malibu and I unfortunately do not have the time for that today.” 

“But you’re considering it at least?” Tony seemed hopeful. After hearing her gush about his suits he was almost positive she would’ve accepted on the spot. But like any good businesswoman she was going to look into it. Tony was both impressed and insulted. Stark Industries was more than a reputable company and Scarlett should’ve been honored to work with him. At the same time, he liked that she wasn’t desperate for the publicity and financial gain. It was appealing to work with someone who would want to work with him just for the sake of it. Not to mention, Tony was just as eager to work with her as he was hoping she was with him.

“Yes, obviously. Getting you drunk would’ve been a poor way to turn you down.”

“Or a brilliant one, depending on how it all wound up.”

“Look, I have to go.” Scarlett laughed but her smile was strained. Tony’s thoughts wandered back to the S.H.I.E.L.D. detail she’d had and wondered if it was something more serious than just business that took her away from their time together. “Do you have a way to get back home? I have a jet that I can send you in. It might take a little while to get all the proper permissions and such but it’s a free ride home. And if you tell Antonio over there at the bar that you need dinner and you’re friends with me you can have a meal while you wait. The food is pretty good here and I have a longstanding tab.” 

“Wait, wait, what?” Tony’s jaw dropped and he stared at her in awe. He couldn’t believe what was coming out of her mouth.

“Should I call my guy?” Scarlett didn’t understand why Tony was so confused by her offer. It seemed pretty straight forward to her.

“I have never, literally never, been offered a ride home in a jet from a date before. Not in my life. This is a first for me.” Tony folded his hands over his lap and stared at nothing in particular in front of him, clearly contemplating this moment and leaving it forever engrained in his memory. “Is this what it feels like…?”

“Well, you still haven’t because this wasn’t a date. You’re not single and it was a business lunch… well, almost dinner. I didn’t realize how late it was when we got here.” Scarlett checked the time on her phone impatiently. Tony laughed under his breath and nodded his head.

“Yes, yes right…” Why did that suddenly make him sad? He wished it _was_ a date. Even though it had been short lived it was the best date he could recall going on. Most dates had been him talking endlessly about himself or listening to some woman he wasn’t interested in rattle on about things he didn’t care about. He’d always paid for everything and while that had never bothered him he hadn’t realized how nice it was to be _treated_ to something. Not that he would’ve let Scarlett pay for dinner but the sheer fact that she hadn’t expected _him_ to do it blew his mind. Would it have been terrible for him to consider, at least in his own mind, that this _had_ been a date? If he didn’t tell Pepper or Scarlett then it wouldn’t hurt anyone and he’d still retain the memory as a date and one that could’ve been the best of his life.

“Tony, I really have to go.” Scarlett had no idea what was going on in the billionaire’s mind but she had too much on hers to argue with him. What did the Black Widow want with her? Why would they interrupt her tonight when she had a meeting in the morning with S.H.I.E.L.D. anyway? How many times was she going to have to clarify that they weren’t dating and he wasn’t available to do so? Why did Tony’s opinion of what they were doing together _matter_ to her in the first place?

“Don’t worry about me. I didn’t fly in my suit here. That would’ve been crazy. I have my own jet waiting for me at the local airport.” Tony got up from where he sat at the table and buttoned up his jacket before offering a hand for Scarlett to shake which she did. “I expect to be hearing from you soon.”

“I promise. Even if I decline your offer you’ll hear from me.” Scarlett nodded resolutely. Realizing she was still holding his hand firmly in the shake she pulled it back quickly and slipped on her own jacket to ward off the chilly autumn air.

“I’m counting on that.” Tony smirked and then nodded toward the door. Saying goodbye felt awkward and ill timed. Not because either one of them didn’t belong, but because it was obvious that they hadn’t been finished with each other. Perhaps in another time and another place things could’ve been different but as for now things were beyond their control. Tony didn’t see what other choice he had in the matter. Usually he would’ve fought through hell and high water to get what he wanted, but he _couldn’t_ this time. 

Tony definitely did _not_ like this arrangement, not at all. Finally Scarlett turned away and started out of the club. She didn’t have any more time to waste hanging around and waiting for goodbyes to come naturally.

“Hey, Scarlett?”

“Yeah?” She turned to look at him over her shoulder.

“It was nice to meet you.”

“I’d say the same except you caused me a good amount of property damage this morning.” Scarlett’s smirk betrayed her words as she waited for one of the waiters to open the heavy glass doors that led into the stairwell.

“I’m going to pay for that, I swear.” Tony laughed. She rolled her eyes at him and then waved a final goodbye before walking out the door. Tony watched her go and shoved his hands in his pockets. There was no reason to stay but he couldn’t find a reason to head home either. So instead Tony sat back down at the table and hailed the waiter over. He might as well have dinner before he started back to Malibu.


	9. Secrets

The Refuge building was still well lit even after workings hours. Usually the building closed around five but often some of the more dedicated scientists Scarlett had hired would stay later working on their projects. It was an honor to watch them work but at the same time it interfered with what would often happen after hours. Scarlett would have meetings with S.H.I.E.L.D. on the upper levels of Refuge and if one of those unsuspecting employees happened to notice what she was up to they could unintentionally be put in harm’s way.

Once inside the front doors after waving her keycard at the security lock she walked to the front desk and tapped on it. The security officer behind it at once stood upright and gave her an alert smile. Everyone who worked for her seemed to want to impress her every chance they got. It was both admirable and incredibly annoying. Sometimes Scarlett didn’t want to be impressed. She wanted people to do their job and then go about their business so she could go about hers.

“I need you to close shop for the night.” Scarlett had once had this argument with the security guard who had asked far too many questions about _why_ everyone had to be sent home after hours. Thankfully they had since then gotten the hint. What Miss Damien says goes, no questions asked. Without another word the guard nodded and turned away. Scarlett walked past him and to the elevator that she rode to the top floor where her office was.

Once at the top after the door opened she nearly leapt back inside and slammed the button to shut the doors since she found Jinx waiting right outside for her. Leaning her head back to look at the ceiling Scarlett took a soothing breath and tried to remember her temper. Jinx often did things like that without meaning to; appearing out of seemingly thin air, sneaking around corners, standing right outside doors. When it came down to it, Jinx was one of her only friends and one of the very few people who knew almost everything there was to know about her. There were still _some_ secrets Scarlett vowed never to tell. 

“Widow is waiting for you upstairs.” She said without greeting but a playful smile lingered on her lips. Even behind that Scarlett could see that whatever Widow was doing there it was troubling. Jinx was terrible at hiding her true feelings.

“Doesn’t she know I have an office? That’s where I prefer to have my meetings, even clandestine ones.” Scarlett walked past Jinx and through the hallway. Jinx walked alongside her and opened her mouth to talk but Scarlett stopped abruptly and held up a hand to stop her. “Don’t bother.” Jinx pouted instantly.

“You’re no fun.”

“Oh, I’m plenty of fun, there are just more important matters at hand than your silly prediction from this morning.” Scarlett waved her off. “I’ll be back down after Natasha’s done with me.”

“Maybe we can go grab dinner or something afterward.” Jinx suggested, obviously hungry for a chance to gossip a bit about their impromptu guest rather than _actually_ eat.

“I’m not very hungry.” Scarlett opened the door to the stairwell that would lead her to the roof.

“You’re _supposed_ to eat…” Scarlett didn’t hear the rest of what Jinx had to say before the door to the stairwell closed. Somehow the climb to the roof felt foreboding. It wasn’t that Scarlett didn’t _like_ Black Widow, or as she had always referred to her, Natasha Romanoff. No, they were actually friends, as much as Scarlett could call anyone a friend. They’d done some work in the past together and while it seemed like a faint memory at times like this, it was at least a fond memory. That was back when life wasn’t so complicated. On the roof, Scarlett saw no one but knew that somewhere nearby Natasha was lurking in the shadows. Well, maybe lurked wasn’t the right word, but she was definitely not in plain sight.

“Why are you all dolled up?” A quiet, monotonous voice spoke from the shadows at the far end of the roof. The red headed Natasha Romanoff was dressed from head to toe in black looking more like a militant spy than ever. Though she was shorter than Scarlett by at least five inches, Natasha was a force to be reckoned with. There was a very good reason her codename had been Black Widow.

“Why do you insist upon perching like a gargoyle on my company’s roof?” Scarlett countered. The redhead approached with a stern look on her face, her curls bouncing just short of her shoulders. She stopped a few feet in front of Scarlett before cracking a smile.

“Old habits. I like to stick to the shadows.”

“I had a big press thing this morning and then a working lunch.” Scarlett acknowledged the dress she still wore when she felt her friend’s gaze become incriminating. 

“How are you feeling?” Natasha seemed to be skirting around what she really came to say so Scarlett rolled her eyes and ignored the question.

“Why are you here?”

“It’s about Scott.” Natasha watched her curiously as she spoke, waiting to see her reaction. Scarlett turned her gaze away from Natasha and clenched her jaw. Hearing that name put her nerves instantly on edge. Slowly she walked toward the edge of the roof and away from Natasha. Scott Aaronson was a man that Scarlett had once known very well on many levels. Or at least he _had_ been a man she thought she’d known so well. For years she’d lived with him while she’d traveled the world. That was no longer the case and the terms of their departure had been far less than amicable. 

Scarlett never would’ve come to Boston if it hadn’t been for what Scott had done to her. She never would’ve become a public figure, never would’ve founded Refuge or gotten involved with S.H.I.E.L.D. Taking slow deep breaths, Scarlett focused on the city lights in the distance. Close up they didn’t seem like much but the further they were from her the more beautiful they became.

“Don’t call him that.” Scarlett finally spoke but didn’t turn her gaze away from the twinkling lights of the Boston skyline. “There’s nothing left of the man he was. I don’t know what he is now, but he’s not Scott anymore. He hasn’t been Scott for a long time.” Scarlett grimaced. The last time she saw Scott she’d knocked him unconscious after he’d attacked her. Wounded and confused, Scarlett had run in a panic right into the arms of S.H.I.E.L.D. who hadn’t even realized she’d been in the country. Her life had once been like that, running from shadow to shadow. Now she couldn’t seem to stay out of the light. 

“Regardless of what we call him, I have some news.” Natasha slowly approached Scarlett, concern setting off alarms in the back of her mind. Scarlett was avoiding looking at her; it was the oldest trick in the book. She already knew her friend was emotionally compromised, but it struck her then just how severely. 

“Stop scrutinizing and tell me.”

“There was an attack in India. Just outside of Calcutta.”

“Was there?” Scarlett’s eyes lit up. The name hit close to home. In fact, Scarlett was rather fond of India, though she was never sure how fond the country had been of her. “Unless you found his smoldering corpse, I’m not seeing the point of this story. Since you’re not looking exceptionally celebratory I’m guessing that’s not the case.” 

“There was a bunker outside of the city you might remember.” Natasha stood next to Scarlett and watched her curiously. “The attack was by a series of drones.”

“Get to your point.”

“We cleaned up the mess but there wasn’t much left by the time we arrived. However the few drones we were able to destroy had a very familiar signature to them.” Natasha scowled. “You designed them. They’re straight from your playbook.”

“You know as well as I do that the only robotic weapons I’ve designed have been on paper. Nothing I’ve created has come to fruition until recently via Refuge. I always put off my ideas for other work.”

“Except for what Scott stole…”

“Stop calling him that, _please_.”

“Fine, except for what _he_ stole from you, Scarlett.” Natasha snapped. It was hard to watch her friend struggling with her past. Even she didn’t know the whole story. Scarlett had refused to tell her and it had been instantly classified the moment it had been shared with S.H.I.E.L.D. “It was a message to you. He knew that we would find the remnants at the site and we would report it back to you. He couldn’t get to you directly so he went through us.” Scarlett turned away from the twinkling lights of Boston and back to the dark shadows that hung over the roof of Refuge. The name had been symbolic at the time. S.H.I.E.L.D. had offered her refuge, this company was supposed to be her _refuge_.

It turned out that moving to Boston and turning her life upside down had been far from the refuge she’d desired. There was no refuge to be found, not for her. Scarlett didn’t even _want_ refuge anymore. She wanted something far more fulfilling. Instead she played a character while people like Natasha did the footwork for her. 

“Were there casualties?” Scarlett folded her arms over her chest and finally exhaled. She hadn’t realized she’d been holding her breath. 

“It was a bloodbath.” Natasha walked in front of Scarlett again, attempting to get a read on her. “But there was only one that mattered.”

Scarlett narrowed her eyes at Natasha and her thoughts drowned out what was said next. Her eyes burned with emotion and her heart raced so hard it pounded in her ears. She twisted up her face to avoid an emotional response but her thoughts raced frantically still. Natasha didn’t have to tell her _who_ she’d been referring to. Scarlett already knew.

For a time a very friendly Indian man, one whose name Scarlett had never known, had been her handler. He’d confessed once that he could get her out if she wanted and she could spend her days in Calcutta living a simple, honest life. 

He’d been her eyes and ears in the field for a decade. From what she could tell he was a kind and gentle man who had disagreed with the way things had been handled in the world. That was how he’d gotten involved with her. He knew she was a good, strong woman who was willing to do the dirty work to make change happen. He had known his way around the rougher channels of the world so they’d made a perfect team. 

Her vision went in and out of focus as she got lost further in her head. When she’d gone dark she’d done so without telling him. Had he any idea _why_ he’d died? Maybe he had caught a glimpse of her on the news or in the papers and had realized what had happened. She should’ve warned him. Scott was sending her a message. Scott and the people he worked for now were coming for her one way or another. They would take out anyone in their way.

Had he suffered much? Scarlett wanted to know. She needed to know the details but somehow she knew that Natasha would never give them to her. Natasha shouldn’t have been working her case; she was too emotionally attached to Scarlett. Maybe she could fly to India in the night and no one would notice. Before S.H.I.E.L.D. had realized she left she could be out of the country and back under the radar. 

Something was shaking her out of her thoughts. Her ears were ringing and her body was swaying back and forth from whatever was pulling and pushing at her. Scarlett snapped her head up and for a moment saw nothing but a blur of darkness and a swirl of color in front of her. The ringing in her ears went from a slight hum to a scream; a scream she swore she could recognize. Dizziness flooded her senses. Her heart was beating far too fast.

“Scarlett!” Natasha’s voice rose and broke through her thoughts. Almost too fast Scarlett’s vision focused on her shorter friend’s face though the ringing in her ears remained. She stumbled in place “Scarlett, are you alright?”

Scarlett opened her mouth to tell Natasha she was just fine and wished to see proof of what happened in India when her lungs suddenly constricted. She hadn’t forgotten to breathe this time but no matter how many times she swallowed or desperately tried, she couldn’t seem to properly inhale. It was as though something large was caught in the back of her throat, so much so it made her gag. Swiftly pulling away from Natasha’s grip on her shoulder Scarlett coughed in an attempt to clear her airways. Her lungs ached, her chest growing sore from the great effort of coughing.

Time seemed to pass slower than usual with Natasha staring her down while she tried to collect herself. Scarlett knew what she was thinking and wanted to put a stop to it but how could she when she was too busy hacking up a lung? Finally, breathing labored with her hands on her knees, Scarlett managed to clear the obstruction in her throat though she wasn’t sure if anything had actually been there at all.

For a moment it felt like her throat had closed. Maybe it had. Perhaps it had been a reaction to _something_. Either way she knew what she had to do when she sat upright. Instantly she turned her attention, eyes watering from coughing so much, to Natasha who was staring at her with concern. The corners of her mouth were turned so far down it was almost comical. _Almost_.

“I’m fine.” Scarlett’s voice sounded scratchy from coughing but confident. Natasha turned her gaze away from Scarlett and to her left. Scarlett followed it and her eyes landed on Jinx who stood by the door, leaning against the wall and shook her head no to contradict Scarlett’s word. “Seriously?” Scarlett cleared her throat and stood up straight, taking a deep breath. Her heart was still racing away and she couldn’t shake the tinnitus in her left ear but other than that she felt better. Jinx turned her gaze away and looked at the ground but the worry was radiating off of her.

How long had Jinx been standing there anyway? Scarlett didn’t remember her coming onto the roof or even hearing the door. 

“Bullshit.” Natasha scoffed and placed her hands on her hips condescendingly. “When do you see Michelangela?” Scarlett rolled her eyes and had barely opened her mouth to answer when Jinx spoke for her.

“She’ll see Percy tomorrow. Fitz Simmons are supposed to stop by during her appointment.”

“Who cares?” Scarlett threw her hands to her sides in frustration. “Who gives a shit when I’m seeing them? I’ve got to find him and put a stop to all this nonsense. It’s gone too far. This plan _isn’t_ working.” She walked back to the edge of the roof, clearing the remaining cling in her throat. “I know what you’re going to say. S.H.I.E.L.D. is taking care of it. But he’s already long gone. He was long gone before S.H.I.E.L.D. even knew what was happening. My guess is that the Russian orchestrated it.” Before she’d said her goodbyes with Scott he had gotten in bed with a nasty corporation. Behind that corporation were three people who pulled the strings, faceless to Scarlett and to S.H.I.E.L.D.. One of them she’d heard on a transmission and had gathered that he was Russian. Since then she’d referred to him as such. 

“It’s not a lead, Scarlett. You can’t follow it. It’s a warning and you should heed it.” Natasha walked a bit closer to Jinx, having a few questions to ask her if she got the chance while Scarlett brooded.

“And what do you propose I do?” Scarlett turned away from the city lights that no longer offered her any solace and instead toward the bearer of bad news. Neither Natasha nor Jinx had a response for her and instead watched sadly. “Stand idly by while those who kept me safe while I played spy are murdered by those monsters? _That’s_ bullshit.” Scarlett clenched her fists and took slow breaths to prevent another coughing fit.

“Scarlett you’ve been emotionally compromised, you shouldn’t be doing this. I shouldn’t have told you.” Natasha watched her friend sadly, unsure of what else she was supposed to do.

“You’re damn right I’m emotionally compromised, Tasha!” Scarlett swung at the air in frustration. “What else am I supposed to be?”

“It’s more than that and you know it.” Natasha took a cautious step closer to her pleadingly. “You’re no help to anyone lying in a morgue.” 

“I’m no help to anyone here either so what’s the difference?” Before Jinx or Natasha could object Scarlett continued. “I made a deal with S.H.I.E.L.D. to use my unusual set of skills and knowledge to aid them in the apprehension of my ex and these assholes he’s working for. Now my skills are going to waste. I can go after them, after him! I should be out there hunting them down and collecting their heads.” Scarlett rubbed her temples in frustration, trying to work away the headache that had crept into the back of her skull. How long had it been hurting? Was it new or had she just not noticed it until now? “I can stop MedCo or whatever their real name is. I stopped counting the aliases.”

“I know you can.” Natasha nodded much to Scarlett’s surprise. Jinx shook her head behind Natasha, clearly not fond of the idea of Scarlett going on a manhunt. “I’ve seen you in action and I know that if you could you’d be hunting them down.” Scarlett stayed quiet cautiously. She kept waiting for the follow up about rules or a lecture about how she’d be going on a personal vendetta that could only end in the loss of more life but none came. “If you want then I will have a discussion with Nick Fury to see what I can do for you.”

“Really?” Scarlett felt the grip in her chest lessen though she was somehow skeptical that Nick Fury would agree with their line of reasoning. Pursuing MedCo was a good idea and all that but how exactly did she propose to go about it? She’d hoped that by this time S.H.I.E.L.D. would have already taken care of her loose ends and she could have paid back the debt she owed them. But nothing had been taken care of and now MedCo seemed to be on the offensive. Her nasty past was finally catching up to her and she didn’t want to wait until it swallowed her whole. Scarlett wanted to spend every minute she had left fighting to take back her life.

“Yes, definitely. I don’t know how soon I can get in to see him but I can try and convince him that maybe you and I can work together. If we can put a stop to this before it gets any worse… before more lives are lost then I’m more than willing to help.”

“Help, not babysit, right?” Scarlett narrowed her eyes at Natasha. Ever since she’d set up Refuge she’d had someone over her shoulder making sure she was doing alright. It had been flattering at first and reassuring considering the horrific events that had let up to the company’s inception but over time it had become annoying. Scarlett was very much a strong and capable woman even if those who ran S.H.I.E.L.D. didn’t seem to think so.

“Help.” Natasha reassured her and Scarlett finally relaxed a little. Letting the pent up rage go had left her exhausted. “We will have to check in with S.H.I.E.L.D. every so often for reasons you don’t need me pointing out. But it can’t be any worse than this, can it?”

“Alright, that’s fair.” Scarlett coughed. Now that she’d started coughing she couldn’t seem to relieve the cling in her throat. One minute it’d be gone and then before she knew it she was desperately clearing it away again. 

“I have a bad feeling about all this.” Jinx chimed in once silence had fallen between the two formidable women. “If anyone cares.”

“You _always_ have a bad feeling about everything.” Scarlett scoffed, but there was no anger or frustration in her voice. 

“I was right about this morning, wasn’t I? It’s very likely I’m correct about this too. My feelings are always on par. I’m surprised you don’t trust them by now.” Jinx stepped away from the door and pointed an accusing finger.

“This morning?” Natasha inquired curiously. “What happened this morning?”

“You were _not_ right about this morning.” Scarlett laughed and ignored Natasha’s question. “You said I would have a meeting with a dark haired stranger. I have meetings with people every single day.”

“Not just a meeting! One that would lead to _romance_.” Jinx pursed her lips in amusement and Natasha’s blue eyes sparkled. It was far easier to talk about romantic rumors than it was the news she’d come to bring Scarlett in the first place.

“Romance? Oh, please, not all that garbage in the papers that people keep printing about you, right?” Natasha seemed to side with Scarlett on the matter and for that she was grateful. “Jinx, I love a good story as much as the next person but you know better.”

“What are the odds that I predict you’re going to have a meeting with someone new in your life, a dark haired man specifically, that will lead to budding romance and then so and so flies right through your door? You do the math; I’m no good at that. I know they’re astronomical though.” 

“She does all this computer crap and still won’t calculate the odds?” Scarlett looked to Natasha for help but she seemed to want to know more about whoever had flown through her window earlier.

“I noticed you had a tarp set up, I was going to ask about what happened but I hadn’t gotten around to it.”

“Iron Man flew through the window after her press conference.” Jinx grinned from ear to ear at Natasha, completely ignoring Scarlett who had opened her mouth to object.

“Stark?” laughed Natasha, “she’s talking about Tony Stark?”

“Stop right where you are.” Scarlett pointed at them both but was secretly grateful for the distraction from her destructive thoughts. “Tony Stark is not a romantic interest! He’s not even a potential romantic interest! He’s a pain in my side. He came with a business offer not with an attempt to get in my pants. He’s got a girlfriend and I’m not looking for that. According to the papers I’m dating Nathan anyway. Though that’s not true either, for the record.” Natasha and Jinx stared at Scarlett for a long moment before turning back toward each other.

“So is that why she’s all dolled up? Stark?” Natasha gestured toward Scarlett who mentally deflated.

“Sort of, she did _really_ have a press conference this morning. But then they went to the cigar club for drinks and a “business” lunch.” Jinx giggled, making air quotes.

“You know what Stark’s notorious for, right?” Natasha turned her attention back toward Scarlett who was walking past them both toward the door.

“Oh, so you’re finally talking to me now and not just _about_ me.” Both women laughed. Jinx opened her mouth to continue on about the afternoon’s exchange excitedly but Scarlett interrupted again. “Stop gossiping ladies, the rest of the world does enough of that for both of you.”

“You’re no fun.”

“I’m plenty of fun. You’ve never seen me at parties.” Scarlett opened the door and gestured downstairs though she smiled in fond memory of her lunch. She was well aware of Tony’s reputation but it wasn’t _like_ that. 

“Where are you going?” Natasha followed despite her question.

“Inside. One, because it’s cold and two because you guys are ridiculous. Then _we’re_ going to S.H.I.E.L.D. so that you can try to work your magic on Nick Fury.” Scarlett grinned and Natasha considered whether or not it was even possible. Was it worth putting Scarlett’s hopes up that high? “Even if he can’t see you until the morning it’s good to put it out there.”

“That’s fair.” Natasha relented.

“Come on, ladies.” Scarlett started down the stairs slowly, careful not to push too fast too quickly. After the coughing fit on the roof she didn’t want to over exert herself, not in front of S.H.I.E.L.D. agents at least. “It’s time for me to get permission to start fieldwork. Permission to stop being a good girl just to fit the image S.H.I.E.L.D. has made of me.” From behind Scarlett heard Jinx practically snort.

“Well, I don’t think a _good girl_ is something you have ever been.” She responded with a wary smile. “Even in the papers.”

“I don’t think that S.H.I.E.L.D. ever intended for my image to change the way that it has either. They were probably looking more for an America’s Sweetheart thing. Somehow I managed to turn it into a dirty, dirty smut novel.” Scarlett laughed and rolled her eyes. “I don’t know how this happened. There must be something about me that people assume I’m about to do something naughty.”

“Either way, it’s worked toward the S.H.I.E.L.D. initiative in a positive way or they would’ve taken steps to change it.” Natasha interjected. “But you’re right. Let’s go see what we can do.”

“Good.” Scarlett was relieved as they walked into the elevator.

“And get you something to eat.” Jinx chimed in as the door closed.

“Oh, and we’re _not_ done talking about Stark.”

“I hate you both.”


	10. Injection

“Do you have a car here?” Natasha checked the weapons on her hip habitually as they walked out of the elevator and onto the main floor of the Refuge building. Scarlett nodded her head and pointed around the back corner instead of toward the front doors. The security officer was still standing guard as he did every night as she had asked him to. She knew she could trust that he’d sent any remaining employees home at her insistence.

“Why?” Scarlett led them around the corner and through the corridors that would lead them to the parking garage that she’d had built alongside Refuge for its employees.

“You’ll drive us a few miles down the road. Then we’ll ditch your car and take mine back to S.H.I.E.L.D.” Natasha explained though her explanation didn’t _really_ answer any questions and only raised more.

“And why is it that we don’t just take _my_ car the whole way there? It seems like a waste of time and energy to stop along the way.” Scarlett rolled her eyes and punched in her key code at the door before holding it open for Jinx and Natasha to pass through.

“The paparazzi know all your license plate numbers now. They sit outside and _wait_ for you to leave so they can stalk you and snap a few pictures of you doing something noteworthy.”

“Oh, _that._ ” Scarlett sighed. Often she forgot that she was the target of the media and it had gotten her into trouble a number of times. She had to learn to be more careful, problem was she didn’t want to. Thankfully it had done nothing to ruin her cover thus far. “Won’t they follow us from there?”

“Not if you’re careful.”

“If I’m careful we can just take _my_ car.” Scarlett chuckled and led them to the lowest floor of the parking garage where she had her designated parking spot. She almost always had a car parked there even if she wasn’t using it. Most of what she did on a daily basis was designed to create an illusion of the woman the media wanted her to be. The cars she got to drive were probably one of her favorite parts of the illusory life she led. Scarlett had always been fond of cars, fast luxury cars in particular. For now she was playing around with a new Ferrari 458 in a shade of dark blue. Scarlett had never been incredibly fond of Ferraris but she couldn’t resist the sleek lines of this particular car. Not to mention the status symbol of a Ferrari said more than words to the public. Even people who didn’t _know_ cars knew that Ferraris were expensive.

“It’s not worth the risk. We’ll do it my way.” Natasha climbed into the passenger’s seat and waited for Jinx to climb in the back. The car was beautiful but wasn’t exactly designed to fit more than a handful of people. Sports cars were _not_ designed for comfort. 

“Of course we will. That’s how things work now.” Scarlett grumbled and got behind the wheel of the car and once the doors were closed, turned over the engine and switched the car into gear. Driving was one of the few things she got to do these days that allowed her to take out her frustration. Currently she was _incredibly_ tense.

“Don’t be like that.” Natasha pointed to the road in front of her. “Make a left and keep driving toward the water.” Scarlett didn’t respond but did as she was told even if she didn’t _want_ to. There were only so many favors she could ask for. Her friendship with Natasha was overshadowed by her responsibility to S.H.I.E.L.D. “The last thing we need is to have to explain a late night meeting with S.H.I.E.L.D. to the media. They’re already hoping that you slip up somewhere and give them a story about your past.”

“S.H.I.E.L.D. is going to have to get over that eventually. How long do they think we can really keep this under wraps?” Scarlett sighed in annoyance but followed Natasha’s directions as she led her through the streets and toward the water. “And when I go on the offensive they’re going to have to deal with the rumors only getting worse. They knew what I was when I approached them so I don’t see why it’s _suddenly_ such a big deal.”

“That’s _if_ you get the okay to go on the offensive.” Natasha sounded far less supportive than she had been on the roof and it rubbed Scarlett the wrong way instantly.

“Fine, _Black Widow_ , do you see anyone on our tail? I don’t. But of course, these days I need approval to make these kinds of decisions, so if you please.”

“Stop it.” Natasha smacked Scarlett hard on the shoulder, receiving a glare in return.

“ _You_ stop it.”

“There’s no one on your tail.” Natasha remarked after silence had fallen in the car. The tension had lessened thanks to their joking around but it still set the mood.

“I have a very bad feeling about this idea.” Jinx whispered, leaning away from the uncomfortable backseat and placing her hands on the two front seats so she could peek between them. “Maybe we should wait until morning to do this. You have to go in anyway so Widow could just meet us there and talk while you’re busy.” Natasha turned in the passenger seat and looked to Jinx seriously.

“You have a bad feeling? Should we turn around?” Her worry was genuine. She wasn’t very familiar with Jinx as an agent but she’d been briefed on her S.H.I.E.L.D. file and knew that often the woman exhibited a supernatural gift of predicting which way luck would turn. Jinx nodded her head but then pouted as Scarlett made a skeptical noise of disapproval.

“Look, she has told me _every_ day for the past two months that I’m going to have a building fall on my head and does it look like I’ve had a building fall on me recently? Granted I’ve had some rotten luck but it’s not like we didn’t know that before Julianna here went on and on about it. It doesn’t mean she’s precognitive, it means that she knows enough about my shady past to guess that it’s not over yet. You and I both know that, Natasha. No offense Jinx, but you can’t expect me to believe it just because you say it’s true.” 

“No offense taken.”

“She was right about this morning.” Natasha argued. “She called Stark showing up out of the blue the way he did. We have to talk more about that before the night’s out, by the way.”

“What’s to talk about? He wants to make a business transaction.”

“With _you_?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Scarlett laughed in mock offense.

“I know Stark and I know _you_.” Natasha threw Scarlett a suspicious glance which Scarlett instantly returned out of the corner of her eye. “I know what’s going to end up happening and it’s about five letters shorter than business.” 

“It’s just a business deal. You’re acting as crazy as she is! It’s not like I’ve accepted either.” Scarlett gestured to Jinx in the backseat. “Look, she was bound to get lucky even if you suspect that Stark showing up wasn’t just a coincidence. No offense again.”

“None taken. Well, okay a little taken, that was harsh.” Jinx pouted but pointed to a restaurant on the corner. “Look, Scarlett, it’s your favorite Thai place! We could go grab some dinner since you skipped lunch to go out with Stark earlier. Come on, I know how much you love curry.”

“That’s a great idea, Jinx. Except that we’re going to S.H.I.E.L.D. right now. If you are still hungry after all is said and done we’ll go grab something if the place is still open. If not then you’ll just have to wait. Stop trying to keep us from going to see Fury.” Scarlett spoke resolutely and then turned again when Natasha instructed her to. “We’re not bailing on this. You’re going to have to deal with it. Even if you have a bad feeling, I’m doing this.” Her unyielding tone ended the conversation. There was no arguing with her on the matter and though they had tried, they knew she wouldn’t relent, not tonight. Maybe if she hadn’t gotten the bad news about her Indian friend they could’ve convinced her, but that wasn’t the case.

She had to do _something_ about what had happened in Calcutta. Sitting around unable to protect the very few people in her life who had been there for her through thick and thin was slowly killing her. Even if S.H.I.E.L.D. wouldn’t approve her request to get involved she would see that something was done about it. The whole situation was grossly unfair. MedCo had destroyed innocent lives simply to send a message to _her_. If they were going to pursue her then they should come for _her_ directly. Using past connections to scare her was the coward’s way out.

They expected her to sacrifice her life for the people she left behind and Scarlett was more than willing to do just that. But MedCo wasn’t even giving her the opportunity to make the sacrifice play. She had the distinct feeling that no matter what choice she made the people in her life would suffer. It was lucky that there were very few people left in Scarlett’s life. Those that remained were there in the car with her on their way to S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters and were perfectly capable of taking care of themselves.

Regardless, Scarlett hated how often she was putting others in harm’s way. She wanted to go it alone and put a stop to the craziness that had followed her tumultuous breakup. Maybe there was a way she could’ve prevented the loss of life. _Stop it_ , she thought, _you can’t relive the past._ If she dwelled too hard on what had transpired then she would get lost there. What mattered was what she _could_ do not what she _had_ done. Even if what she _had_ done had torn apart the family of a man who had done nothing but look out for her while she ran dangerous missions.

“There’s a parking garage by the wharf. I prefer to stay there when I’m on my way to see you. The paparazzi seem to avoid the place because of the smell,” Natasha spoke but Scarlett simply nodded her head in response. She was no longer in the mood to chat, especially about her personal life. They’d already spoken far too much about it that night at length. Maybe when she got home, once she’d put her case before S.H.I.E.L.D. authority, she’d see if she could locate her old acquaintance’s family. With any luck they would be left untouched. But how would they get by? It was her fault that the family was without a husband and a father, if they hadn’t been killed too.

Scarlett still had money hidden in banks offshore. If she could find the family then it was possible she could send them some compensation monthly to help out. It would alleviate her conscience at least a little bit to know that they were well taken care of. But how had MedCo tracked down her handler in the first place? She’d never directly made contact with him except for phone calls and those had been carefully placed through secure servers and with the best technology, half of which she had designed herself.

Maybe it wasn’t worth the risk to try and contact the grieving family now. As much as she wanted to help, as much as she wanted to do _something_ , Scarlett knew she had become bad blood. Whatever she touched turned to dust and left burned bridges behind her. If her handler’s family died, if his wife and children died, because of something she did she would never be able to forgive herself. 

No, she wouldn’t do anything to compromise the family. She would leave them alone and let them live their lives, hopefully without the danger of being caught in her web of lies. But Scarlett wouldn’t let sleeping dogs lie completely either. When she got to speak to Nick Fury, which hopefully would be that night, she would ask to see what could be done for the family. Maybe if they were taken into protective custody by S.H.I.E.L.D. the risk wouldn’t be nearly as bad. Not that going into S.H.I.E.L.D. custody had done much for _her_. The list of things to discuss with Nick Fury was growing longer by the second.

“Here we go, park on the first floor. Your car’s too expensive to park further away from security in this part of town.”

“Thanks for the dig on my car. You’re just jealous, I think.” Scarlett pulled through the parking garage entrance after taking a ticket from the counter. 

“Not at all.”

“It’s not too late for us to go grab dinner. You ladies sound like you could use a few drinks to take the edge off.” Jinx smiled hopefully as the car came to a stop. The back of the Ferrari was uncomfortable but the closer they’d got to the parking garage the worse the bad feeling had become in her chest. She knew something awful was going to happen and there was nothing she could do to prevent it. 

“Look, we can’t make her do anything she doesn’t want to do, Jinx so stop pouting back there. Scarlett’s a big girl and she can decide what she wants to do with her time without us pressuring her.” Natasha unbuckled her seatbelt and turned to look back at Jinx who was, indeed, pouting.

“Damn right, I am.” 

“Even though she’s just been given some incredibly terrible news. Even if she’s not acting upset she _is_ upset and is making rash decisions based around these irrational emotions. All she _really_ should be doing right now is going home, having a strong drink, and mourning the loss of a friend.”

“I don’t mourn.” Scarlett got out of the car and slammed the front door closed. Once her comrades had done the same she set the alarm and walked away. “I get even.” Natasha led them through the mostly empty parking garage and toward a set of stairs at the far end near the water that could be heard lapping over the rocks down below. 

“Sure, you could do that. Get even.” Natasha didn’t bother looking to Scarlett because she knew that her gaze wouldn’t be met. “Hunt them down, kill them, and make them pay. But what will that really accomplish? You’ll still be grieving, just putting it off a little longer when you could be embracing it right now. Get your hands a little bloodier, Scarlett. See how good it feels.” Natasha sighed heavily. “Then there’s this whole thing you’ve got going on now. If you have another fit like you had on the roof where you lose your senses? You’re just going to get yourself killed. Isn’t that exactly what we’re trying to prevent?”

Scarlett stopped on the stairs and slammed her hand against the metallic railing. The resounding clang echoed throughout the stairwell and left them in silence. Natasha and Jinx both stopped walking and turned to stare at Scarlett who was glaring at Natasha at the top of the stairs. She didn’t need to say anything, her eyes said it all. Natasha had crossed a line and Scarlett had enough.

Jinx readjusted her footing uncomfortably and chewed her lip nervously. Between the bad feeling she had in her gut and the awkwardness between the two dangerous women walking ahead of her on the stairs, Jinx was the most uncomfortable she’d been in a very long time.

Scarlett heaved a sigh and then let go of her white knuckled grip on the railing before walking up the remaining stairs and around Natasha. She walked through the heavy door and onto the final enclosed floor of the parking garage without the two S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents to escort her. Jinx joined Natasha at the top of the stairs and watched the door close in front of them. Neither of them had to say it, they were both thinking the same thing.

They had every reason to be concerned about their friend but they couldn’t help her if she wouldn’t let them.

“Give her time, Widow,” Jinx whispered cautiously.

“Time isn’t going to help if S.H.I.E.L.D. gives her the approval to pursue MedCo.” Natasha followed through the door without another word from Jinx who shook her head in dismay.

“They’ll never approve. She’s not fit for duty. We both know that.” Jinx hesitated to follow through the doors, the feeling in her gut fighting her every bit of the way. “Oh, what the hell.” She joined the other two women in the parking garage. Scarlett was standing near the gap between floors looking out at the city lights again below. Natasha stood next to her, waiting and not saying a word. Jinx felt something in her stomach turn and went over her options again in her head. None of them sounded very appealing. It couldn’t hurt to continue her objections but she knew Scarlett well enough to know that her mind wouldn’t change.

“We’re going to talk to S.H.I.E.L.D. tonight.” Scarlett broke the tense silence, but the anger that she’d exhibited in the stairwell had dissipated. “Even if I can’t convince them that I need to stop playing to the media, I have to talk to them about him.” 

“And we’re going.” Natasha placed her hand on Scarlett’s shoulder comfortingly.

“We’re seriously doing this?” Jinx followed them as they walked across the well lit parking garage where Natasha’s car sat waiting near the far end. 

“Look you two may not trust me enough to take care of things on my own but I know my limits.” Scarlett turned to walk backwards, holding her clutch beneath her arm and offering an understanding smile. “I get it, you’re worried about me. You may think I’m just being stubborn but I really do understand. But what you and S.H.I.E.L.D. are eventually going to have to realize is that this is _my_ life. I have to be the one to fight for it even if no one seems to comprehend the reasons why. I do appreciate what S.H.I.E.L.D. has done and that they’ve kept me alive since I sought refuge but in the end it’s still _my_ fight.”

Natasha opened her mouth to respond but something caught her eye in the darkness facing the water. The sound made her realize what it was before she could see it.

“Get down!” She pulled her gun out of its holster on her thigh and ducked low to the ground in the parking garage. Neither Scarlett nor Jinx hesitated and did as they were told. As if on cue, shots were fired from the darkness, raining overhead and crashing into the concrete behind them. They whistled through the air so close that they could feel the heat radiating off of them.

“Take cover!” Scarlett shouted, still crouching low to the ground. The hail of bullets ceased and they could hear the sound of helicopter blades through the air. There were no lights coming from the chopper but they could see it well enough now that it had closed in. Natasha went left and Scarlett and Jinx went right, ducking behind cars. The vehicles wouldn’t provide much cover for very long. They’d have to disable the helicopter before attempting to get to safety.

“We have to take it down!” Natasha shouted to Scarlett across the parking lot.

“Aim for the rotor, throw it off balance!” She responded and received a nod of confirmation. Jinx was covering her ears from the sound and hiding behind the car. It wasn’t that she was scared, she just wasn’t used to helicopters sneaking up on her and trying to murder her. 

Natasha waited for the sound of gunfire to cease before stepping out from behind the black SUV that was keeping her safe. There were shouts from the helicopter barely audible over the sound of the blades keeping it afloat. Skillfully she fired her weapon while walking toward the helicopter, aiming through the darkness toward the rotor at the top of the bird. Natasha kept an eye on the shadows moving within the chopper and while she couldn’t quite make out what they were doing she knew well enough the familiar sounds of a weapon being cocked.

“Tasha!” Scarlett yelled across the parking garage, running out from behind the car where she hid with Jinx. “Stay there, Bennett!”

“You don’t have to tell me twice!”

Natasha hid behind the concrete barrier, seated on the sill of the gap that overlooked the ground below when the automatic weapon whirred and fired again. Scarlett hid behind a group of cars in the corner and watched as the bullets sprayed throughout the parking garage, some passing through the car over her head and others missing their targets entirely. Thankfully high powered automatic weapons had very low accuracy. When the lull in bullets came a second time, Scarlett and Natasha both crawled out of their hiding places.

Natasha aimed for the pilot of the helicopter, cracking the glass with her first shot. Scarlett kept aiming at the rotors that Natasha had gone for earlier. If she hit them enough eventually the damage done would throw the machine off balance and force it to the ground. Natasha reloaded her pistol and aimed toward one of the men reloading the big gun. The ammunition fell from the helicopter and clattered somewhere below, forcing him to start over.

“Got it!” Scarlett gritted her teeth, reloading her only backup clip of ammunition before continuing to shoot at the rotor, wearing away at it. Finally her shooting made progress and the rotor began to smoke and sway. Her plan had worked but it had thrown the rotor completely off. The helicopter swung around unnaturally and the blades crashed against the concrete structure. They forced the copter away from the building and it crashed down below into the water with a resounding splash.

Once sure that there was no backup helicopter coming to shoot at them Jinx peeked out from where she’d taken cover. Scarlett checked her clip and walked back toward the other women.

“Is everyone alright?” She kept glancing over her shoulder as though expecting another attack. The floor of the parking garage was littered with spent shell casings and stray bullets. They were lucky that the fight with the high powered machine gun hadn’t gone on for any longer or they would’ve been Swiss cheese.

“What the hell was that about?” Natasha cleared her throat and then looked to Scarlett and realized she wouldn’t have any more ammunition hiding anywhere on her person, not in the dress she wore. She handed her an extra clip which Scarlett took gratefully.

“MedCo.” Scarlett shrugged as though the answer was simple. In her gut she knew that’s who it had been. She was honestly surprised that Scott hadn’t jumped out of the helicopter and come for her, threatening her with some unrealistic torture. “They wanted to make sure I got your message. Probably didn’t expect you to relay anything that would affect me emotionally. Obviously someone else has done some thinking about going on the offensive.”

“Let’s get out of here.” Natasha grimaced, pulling out the keys to the car.

“We’re not done yet.” Jinx stared at the stairwell. Her stomach was killing her and her head was pounding. She closed her eyes and inhaled shakily. “I told you I had a bad feeling. No one listens to me.”

Scarlett grabbed Jinx by the arm to guide her over to the black sedan on the far end of the parking garage but didn’t get far. The doors Jinx had fixated on opened and in filed a dozen armed men dressed completely in black from head to toe, their faces obstructed by gasmasks. Natasha stepped closer to Scarlett, closing in ranks to help protect her friend when it became inevitable that they would come after her.

“Scarlett, get in the car and leave. We’ll distract them,” Natasha whispered, holding her weapon at the ready and preparing herself for a fight.

“Not a chance.” Scarlett responded, tossing aside the clutch so it wouldn’t get in her way. They were limited on ammunition and outnumbered but with any luck they could find their way out of the fight. This was what they’d trained for over the years.

The armed men hurried toward them and quickly surrounded the group, each holding a weapon aimed at them threateningly. A tall, muscular man in the middle spoke through his gas mask in a distorted voice.

“We don’t want to harm you. We’re only here for Miss Damien.”

“Of course they are.” Scarlett rolled her eyes. “Predictable.”

“That’s too bad.” Natasha took a deep breath, counting the men over her shoulder again and playing out various scenarios in her head. There was a reason she was called the Black Widow, and it had very little to do with being a woman. “She’s previously engaged, I’m afraid.” Then would’ve been the perfect time for the assailants to strike and yet they hesitated. Scarlett knew why and that would be their downfall. They didn’t _want_ to hurt them. She bet anything they had orders to take her in alive and were hesitating to fire shots. This could give them the advantage.

“Ladies.” Scarlett looked to her friends, as though she was going to hand herself over but then instead aimed her gun quickly at the lights over head. With the remaining three bullets in her weapon she shot out the bulbs surrounding them, leaving them suddenly in darkness. Instantly all there women separated to divide and conquer their enemies.

Natasha holstered her gun and ran toward the nearest assailant. Realizing what they were up to the men scattered and hoped to throw them off. Some ran toward the light while others ventured further into the darkness after the women. Natasha knew they wouldn’t shoot Scarlett, at least not to kill, but it didn’t mean that they weren’t willing to kill her and Jinx to _get_ to Scarlett. She grabbed onto the man’s arm as he swung at her, bent it back toward him then twisted it around. He dropped the gun so Natasha crouched low, retrieved it and artfully dismantled it and threw it behind her.

When he withdrew a knife and swung at her she jumped out of the way. From her belt she pulled out two small discs attached to each other by a small wire. With a click of a button in the middle decorated with a red hourglass, she was able to pull the wire further apart. She twisted it around his wrist and spun him in place. His arm was temporarily tangled within it but she managed to free the wires and then wrap them around his neck and pull hard. He was much taller than her but it didn’t stop him from succumbing to her strength. After moments of struggling he fell limp in her arms and Natasha let him go.

A second attacker came to aid his ally but he was too slow. Natasha crouched low and slid between his legs as he fired a blind shot in the dark. By the time he realized he’d missed Natasha had climbed onto his back and wrapped her arm around his neck, cutting off the flow of oxygen to his lungs. He fell just as quickly as his friend had, limp in a pile beneath her.

When realizing the rest of the assailants hadn’t targeted her she turned her attention to her comrades. Jinx squealed as she ducked out of the way of one of the men but was grabbed around her waist. Walking steadily toward them Natasha held out her left arm and triggered the bulky tasers she had wrapped around her wrists. Each one held at least ten cartridges. It was the easiest weapon she could think to use without killing her assailants. S.H.I.E.L.D. had very much frowned upon killing when it wasn’t completely necessary. It had interfered with the way Natasha worked.

Jinx had seen Widow coming toward her and ducked out of the man’s arms as the needles at the end of the wires punctured his flesh and sent electricity jolting through his system. He spat all over himself as he shook until Natasha released the wires from the weapon on her wrist. Jinx turned in place and kicked the shaking man onto the ground where he passed out. Hunching over his body, Jinx picked up his gun from his hands.

“Sorry.” She whispered, patting his shoulder sympathetically. She wasn’t particularly fond of hurting even the most seemingly ruthless of thugs. She was well aware that most times those working for corporations like MedCo were just like her: doing a job for a paycheck. That wasn’t going to keep her from fighting back, but it did make her feel guilty about the damage she did.

Leaving the man in a heap of a pile on the ground, Jinx surveyed the room. Taking a chance she ran out into the light, and across the parking lot toward the elevator doors where she caught sight of a circuit breaker box. With any luck she would be able to play the situation to their advantage. It was locked and she thought about shooting off the lock but figured she’d do damage to the breakers inside. Instead she turned the pistol around and slammed the handle against the lock until it finally chipped off and she was able to pull the handle and open it wide.

She found the breakers for the lights and flipped them off leaving them completely consumed in darkness on the fourth floor of the parking garage. Then she flipped on half the breakers for the lights, then off again. If she could create some confusion for their opponents then it could give them the upper hand. She only hoped that she wouldn’t end up confusing her allies in the process. Jinx had the distinct feeling that Scarlett and Natasha were well trained enough to handle a few flickering lights.

Scarlett had planned to take out the rest of the lights if she got the chance, but was pleased when Jinx had done the job instead. She wouldn’t have been able to regardless, considering _she_ was the target. Most of the men spent their time hunting through the darkness for her in hopes of being the one to take her down. So she waited for the men to come to her. There was no need to pursue them when they were actively pursuing her.

The first man who came for her made a sloppy grab so she twisted out of the way and slammed her heel straight onto his foot. He howled in pain but still grabbed for her. Jumping out of the way she spun around and slammed her elbow straight into his nose, breaking it. He instinctively hunched forward to hold his face that was now gushing blood. Scarlett grabbed his left arm, knocked the gun out of it and then twisted it hard behind him. She kept pulling until she felt his shoulder pop out of joint.

His cry of pain did nothing to save him from Scarlett’s wrath. She was far too frustrated with MedCo to show them any mercy. He collapsed to the ground in a heap but wasn’t unconscious so she pressed her heel hard against the joint she’d dislocated. Almost immediately he passed out from the pain. Why should she show _them_ mercy? They hadn’t shown any when they’d hunted down her handler and made an example of him. If MedCo wanted to send her a message she would send one back just to let them know exactly what she thought of them.

When she stood upright again another man was waiting for her. He grabbed her arm and she immediately swatted him off. Her assailant was cleverer than she expected and when she knocked his arm away he grabbed her wrist and spun her around so her back was to his chest. He placed his arm around her neck in an attempt to subdue her. When she managed to slip her hand between his arm and her throat to keep him from blocking her airway, he instead pulled a needle out of his tool belt and readied it. She could smell the faint but sweet aroma of something she definitely didn’t want coursing through her veins.

“Son of a…” Scarlett gritted her teeth and cursed. Risking being strangled she pulled her hand away from his arm and elbowed him hard in the stomach. He buckled but didn’t give so she did it again. Then with her other hand she grabbed his wrist to keep him from pushing the needle into her side. Her hand shook and she reflected on how much weaker she was now than she was only a month ago. Panic flickered through her thoughts briefly as she considered being injected with something new. There was no worse a fate that she could imagine.

“Be careful! He’s got some kind of drug!” Scarlett hissed through a strangled cry as a warning to Natasha and Jinx so they would be on the lookout. The last thing she wanted was to see her friends fall prey to whatever crazy concoction that MedCo had come up with for the occasion. Jinx shut the lights off again overhead and she felt the man with his arms around her desperately trying to stick the needle in her side flinch. Risking being stuck with the needle, Scarlett repositioned her hand on his wrist. She felt around for his bones and tendons and when she found the right place she snapped it as hard as she could.

She felt the bone break and his grip instantly loosen on her and the needle. Seizing opportunity she grabbed onto the needle and shoved it into the side of his neck, one of the only places on his person that wasn’t covered in black fabric and body armor. Once the plunger had been completely pressed she released the needle and stepped out of his arms. He choked for a second before falling to the ground in a heap.

Crouching, Scarlett checked his pulse and was grateful to feel it there. She could only hope that meant the drug was a sedative and nothing worse. MedCo had been experimenting in genetic enhancement and from everything she’d read up on it, it hadn’t been going incredibly well. The lights overhead flickered back on so Scarlett hurried over to the bag she’d discarded only a few feet away. Inside she found her cell phone and dialed S.H.I.E.L.D. Someone instantly picked up, much to her relief.

“We need backup! I’m at a parking garage near the water!” Scarlett couldn’t shout out directions because one of the men had caught up to her and knocked the phone from her hand. It smashed to the ground with a crash, rendered useless. Scarlett cursed under her breath and backed up from the man who was now holding up his fists and ready for a fight. In the distance they could hear sirens approaching, presumably for them. Someone had to have spotted the disturbance with the lights and heard the rapid gunfire from the helicopter. It had only been a matter of time before the police had been called to the scene.

“Wrap it up! Gather the cargo and go!” One of the men yelled as they too became aware of the sirens. Another one of the men pulled something from his belt and then tossed it to the ground in between the group. It was a smoke grenade and it burst into a cloud of white smoke that stung at their eyes but not enough to cause damage. Thankfully it hadn’t been designed to hurt but to distract just as the lights flickering had been. Scarlett and Natasha instantly ran away from the smoke but Jinx stayed near the breakers.

One of the men had come after her to stop her from messing with the power in the building and she’d spent a great deal of time dodging his every blow. She refused to give up her position but at the same time didn’t want to hurt the man if she could help it. Unfortunately he was getting pushy and the more time she spent dodging his attacks the less help she’d be to her friends. So finally Jinx swung the gun she still held in her hand by the barrel and hit him hard on the side of the head with the butt end of it.

“I hate doing that! I’m sorry!” Jinx whimpered an apology to no one in particular. This was her least favorite part of being in the field. It wasn’t that she couldn’t fight, just that she hated the end result of it. Things always got messy and she always felt bad about it later.

“Jinx! Scarlett! Are you two okay?” Natasha called over the chaos, trying to catch a glimpse of her friends through the smoke.

Scarlett had run from the smoke toward the opposite end of the parking garage. Halfway there she’d pulled her heels off and dropped them to the side. When the man caught up to her and grabbed her, Scarlett pressed her bare feet to the wall and pushed them both hard away from it. The momentum released her from his grip so she spun around, grabbed him by his arm and swung him hard against the wall. She kicked the back of his knee and he fell to the ground.

He rolled onto his back in an attempt to get away from her but Scarlett knelt down and punched him hard in the gut and then again in the side, away from his body armor so he would feel it right in his ribs. Standing up she pressed her bare foot against his throat and stepped down just hard enough to constrict his airways and knock him unconscious. Finally he passed out and she made a grunt of satisfaction, curling her lips practically in a snarl.

“I’m finally getting to release some pent up aggression.” Scarlett responded out of breath to Natasha, coughing and eventually spitting the phlegm gathered in her throat to the side.

Jinx flipped the lights back on again so that they could see a bit better through the smoke. Now that she could see Scarlett and Natasha’s silhouettes she felt some relief.

“I’m shaken but okay! I don’t think the guy who was trying to stop me is doing very well though.” Jinx pouted, looking to the man on the ground next to her whose forehead was bleeding and beginning to swell.

Natasha laughed at Jinx’s response even if she hadn’t meant it to be funny. The man coming after her stopped in front of her and held out his gun. Natasha held up her hands and pretended to surrender but had pulled a small device from her belt before doing so.

“Here, take this.” Natasha moved to put her hands in front of her as if to offer them to be cuffed but instead handed him the small round device and jumped out of the way. He looked at it puzzled but only for a second because then it burst into a brilliant spectacle of electricity that shocked him right into unconsciousness. “We need to make it to my car. We have to get out of here!” Natasha looked over to Jinx who seemed to be in the clear and then threw her car keys toward her.

Jinx scrambled to catch the keys and then yelped in surprise when a gunshot whistled past her. She crouched behind a car and finally turned her gun the way it was intended to be held and fired shots to throw him off. Despite the chaos she continued to make her way to the black sedan at the far end of the parking lot. She cut through the remaining smoke that hung in the air in hopes of being less of an obvious target.

Natasha ran toward the man firing at Jinx and pulled him down by the arm he was aiming with. While he was crouched forward she jumped over him and went to shock him with the tasers on her wrists but was instead met with the cold sharp steel of his knife. It tore through her suit like butter and cut into the flesh of her arm. She spun away from him to avoid being caught in the way of the blade a second time. When he took another swing at her, the knife suddenly clattered out of his hand.

Scarlett fired her gun toward him through the smoke and shot him right in the shoulder. He collapsed to the ground and Scarlett came running toward Natasha who was holding her bloodied arm in surprise.

“Are you okay?” Scarlett shouted but then stopped short as she felt the pin pricks of the bad end of a taser sticking right through her dress. Instantly she collapsed to her knees and placed her hands in front of her on the ground. She could taste metal in the back of her throat and coughed while trying to ward off the discomfort of the electricity spreading through her system. Her fingers and toes went numb and her head felt light as it threatened her with unconsciousness. No matter how hard she tried to fight and focus she couldn’t seem to.

As soon as the shock had ended two of the remaining men were on her. One pinned her face down on the ground and though she attempted to struggle it was made that much harder by the fact that she couldn’t feel her extremities properly. When she realized she wasn’t going to get out of it on her own she lifted her head from the ground.

“Tasha!” That was all she got out before she felt the sharp tip of a needle in her arm. Whatever they gave her burned in her veins. It was only seconds before she succumbed to the drugs and passed out face first on the concrete.

Natasha ran through the smoke when she heard Scarlett’s cry for help. The man standing over her was attempting to put handcuffs on her while she laid helpless on the ground. Natasha dove at him blindly and knocked him onto his back where he slid on the concrete hard. She pressed her hand to his chest and shocked him until he fell unconscious. 

“Scarlett! Scarlett, talk to me!” She cried out but there was no response from the brunette lying in a pile on the ground nearby. The second man who had drugged Scarlett was coming toward her, gun aimed toward her head.

The squealing of tires signaled that the car was indeed doing just fine after the gunfire. Jinx rammed it right into the gunman and he rolled over the top of it before Jinx slammed hard on her brakes. There was only one remaining foe left and he was on his way back toward the stairwell in an attempt to get away before it was too late. Natasha, angry after watching her friend fall, got off of the ground, pulled her gun from its holster and aimed two well placed shots both which hit her target in the shoulder. He fell face first onto the ground and didn’t get back up.

Jinx opened the driver’s side door of the car and left the keys in the ignition. She ran around to the back of the car and pushed the man who had fallen onto the trunk off of it and onto the ground. After that she checked his pulse to make sure he wasn’t dead and smacked his cheek to make sure he wasn’t conscious.

Natasha holstered her weapon and ran over to Scarlett who was lying limp and non-responsive. She knelt down next to her friend and found the needle still jammed in her arm, only half the plunger pressed. She picked up the needle and smelled the end of it in hopes of detecting anything that had been given to her. She’d have to hold onto what remained in the needle so they could run tests to make sure Scarlett wouldn’t have any adverse reactions. With any luck it wasn’t anything lethal. 

“Is she alright?” Jinx took a wary step closer. While she had hated every second of the fight the bad feeling in her chest was finally letting go. Natasha nodded her head but looked at Jinx over her shoulder to offer a comforting smile.

“Her pulse is jumpy but she’s alive. I don’t know if it’s from the drugs or not.” Natasha pushed Scarlett’s hair out of her face and then felt for breath beneath her nose. She seemed to still be breathing and wasn’t turning a funny color so she thought that was a good sign.

“What did they give her?”

“I don’t know.” Natasha handed Jinx the needle she’d recovered. “Whatever it was, it knocked her out. Let’s hope that’s all it did. Bring it with us, okay?” Natasha instructed and Jinx nodded, hurrying to place the needle in an evidence bag that had been kept in the car.

The sirens they’d heard earlier were coming closer now. It was only a matter of time before they finally arrived on site and made things worse.

“We’ve got to go.” Jinx looked back down to Scarlett and winced. “Before the police get here. If the papers get wind of this it’s going to be a disaster.”

“You’re right.” Natasha nodded toward where Scarlett laid on the ground. “Help me, she’s too damn tall.” Between the two women they managed to lift Scarlett off of the ground and then lay her in the back of the car. Once they were sure she wouldn’t go rolling around they closed the doors and got into the front of it. Natasha picked up her phone and placed it to her ear as she drove out of the parking garage. “This is Black Widow. We had an incident at the parking garage near the wharf. We’re going to need some help cleaning up the mess and I’m coming in. We’ll need medical assistance upon arrival.”


	11. The Tide Rolls In

“ _Sweet Jane..._ ” Tony muttered the words along with Lou Reed as it blasted from his stereo. His words were nearly unintelligible through the wrench he held between his teeth. He opened the chest piece of his newest Mark and stuck his head inside. Something had malfunctioned when he’d ordered the suit to meet him back at the plane. The damn thing had set alarms off on the entire plane ride home and had successfully driven him up the wall. Eventually he’d begun to pull it apart in a desperate attempt to quiet the suit. He’d had to leave half the pieces on the plane to be retrieved later. Happy hadn’t come to meet him at the airport and he’d wound up calling a car service.

At least he hadn’t been flying around _in_ the suit when it had malfunctioned. It turned out that there was some sort of power supply failure. Yet there had been just enough power left for that annoying alarm to go off. If it had happened while he’d been inside the suit there was a distinct possibility he would’ve gone crashing to the ground. He would’ve survived, but it definitely wouldn’t have been fun. Maybe he hadn’t been on his A-game when he’d been putting his newer suits together. He’d gotten into a complacent groove while building them. By focusing solely on distraction he’d managed to successfully avoid a number of his mental issues but had sacrificed efficiency. No more!

Now that he’d seen the ghosts in his machines he planned on going through them, one by one, and exorcising their demons. It would take a long time but it would also successfully occupy his mind from his _own_ demons. After the day he’d had in Boston he had initially felt proud that he’d escaped his comfort zone. But the closer he got to Malibu the more uncertain he’d become. Had he made a mistake going to meet with the head of Refuge? Pepper’s words echoed in the back of his mind, warning him about the dangers that could follow. Was he really prepared to be back in the papers? He’d offered for her to work on his suits! His _suits!_

Scarlett had been far more than he had expected her to be in more ways than he could count. It wasn’t that he’d regretted speaking with her but he’d begun to question things that he’d been otherwise certain of. Was he _really_ suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder like Scarlett suggested? She had seemed pretty certain of it. How had she managed to calm him down? Why had a complete stranger, who had absolutely no reason to help him, taken the time out of her day to make sure that he was genuinely alright? He’d smashed up her office and thrown his ego around from the moment they’d met. She could’ve let him go and have his fit in the hall and have been rid of him. Hell, she probably should’ve called security the moment he flew into her office!

But she hadn’t. She hadn’t even mentioned it to the press.

Instead she’d helped him. Why was it that no one already in his life had done that? Surely Pepper knew he was struggling and yet she had done nothing to help! She’d only looked out for herself, and yes, that was sort of how their relationship had always been, but suddenly it bothered Tony. Rhodey had tried to help but there was only so much he could do being busy with his career. Plus Tony felt as though he had burdened Rhodey enough. 

Rhodey had never given up on finding him after he’d been taken captive in Afghanistan all those years ago. For that Tony could never repay him. 

Still, Rhodey wanted to be there for him and was making a true effort. The woman he lived with, on the other hand, didn’t seem to have the time of day for him. And now, late in the night, she was _still_ nowhere to be found. At first he’d thought that he’d hid his distress well enough but after meeting Scarlett he’d realized he’d been practically screaming for help without literally doing so. 

“Don’t suffer in silence.” He repeated her words as he leaned back in his chair after setting his wrench down. In his hand he held the power supply he’d removed from the chest piece of his Mark XLII. It wasn’t the actual source of power, so much. That was obviously the arc reactor he’d placed inside each suit. No, this particular piece of machinery he’d designed to transmit power from the reactor to each separate piece of his suit that required it. That was ultimately what had failed and he wasn’t sure _why_. 

Before he could dismantle the power supply a tabloid magazine fell in front of him on his desk with some force. He hadn’t even heard footsteps over the loud music in the background.

“Music off.” Tony spoke to Jarvis, muting the remainder of the Rock and Roll Animal album he’d had blaring. Pepper was standing in front of him, red in the face with her hands on her hips waiting for his reaction.

Tony glanced at the article she’d shoved in his face and didn’t bother to read the headline. He saw pictures of him with Scarlett walking out of the Refuge office and another of him speaking to the press when he’d stopped to answer questions after Scarlett had walked away. It was obvious that she was angry but he felt rather apathetic about it rather than guilty. He’d felt bad at first but considering that it was nearly the middle of the night and Pepper had _just_ gotten home, Tony wondered why he _should_ feel guilty. Maybe Pepper should have been feeling a little bit guilty instead.

He’d told her what he’d planned to do. She shouldn’t have been surprised that he’d actually stuck to his word. Instead of acknowledging the paper he turned his attention back to the power supply and began to dismantle it with ease and skill. 

“Did you have a nice night?” He decided not to talk about what was obviously eating at her. He didn’t see the point. She was going to what was on her mind no matter what he responded with. Sometimes he was sure that she didn’t listen to a word that he said.

“You have _nothing_ to say for yourself? Really?” Pepper dropped her hands to her sides in disbelief. She wasn’t sure why she was so surprised! He obviously didn’t think much of her opinions so why would this have been any different?

“Did you go to dinner? How is Hogan, by the way? I am paying him to drive me around and yet I haven’t had a personal driver in months because he’s too busy spending all his time with _you_. I had a car pick me up from the airport. Should I be hiring a different driver for myself?” Tony pointed out, turning away from her scrutinizing gaze and pulling wires apart. Half of them were burnt to a crisp from whatever had caused them to short. Now that he was looking at the power supply he wasn’t sure that _it_ was the source of his problem. “What could it be? Maybe the autopilot screwed it up…” He muttered under his breath, looking none too concerned with the angry redhead in front of him.

“How could you go all the way to Boston after what we discussed? I strictly told you _not_ to approach Refuge and you blatantly ignored me! How could you do something so incredibly foolish, Tony?” Pepper ignored what she was sure was an accusation of infidelity. Though she wasn’t really sure that it was an accusation as much as it was a dig at how she’d been avoiding talking to him. Maybe she was only afraid of accusations of infidelity because of how incredibly close she’d become with Happy. Their relationship had blossomed in the month’s past and only continued to do so with time. Emotionally it felt like infidelity.

“Foolish? No, no.” Tony got up and tossed the burnt wires into a pile of already discarded pieces of the suit’s chest plate. “Jarvis, analyze these and map out the progression of their destruction for me in comparison to what we already know. Please and thank you.” He then turned his attention to Pepper who had folded her arms over her white blouse and was staring him down with a mixture of nerves and anger. “I did what I thought was best for _my_ company. You know, the one that’s named after _my_ family? You seem to keep forgetting that my word is what’s final in these situations.”

“So, it’s your company now? It’s only _your_ company when it’s convenient for you!”

“Bullshit.” Tony shook his head and turned away from her. “Yes, you have been working your ass off around here and standing in for me. You have no idea how grateful I am that you would do that for me while I spend time trying to figure things out. But in the end, it’s _my_ company and what I say goes. And the fact that you think it’s bad for our reputation isn’t an adequate reason for me _not_ to approach a possible lucrative asset! In all our arguing you didn’t come up with a single legitimate reason for us _not_ to approach Refuge. Other than you not liking Scarlett, I don’t see any reason we shouldn’t move forward.” 

“I thought that we were a team, Tony! Why are you acting like I have no say in this anymore?” Pepper was exasperated. It was too late to keep the inevitable from happening with Scarlett but if she could at least reason with him maybe he would keep her at arm’s reach and they would manage not to end up crashing and burning when Refuge went down in flames.

“We are a team Pepper, but you seem to think that _you_ are the team!” Tony finally shouted in frustration. He’d tried not to get angry with her but he was tired of fighting about everything except for what really mattered between them. The more they avoided their issues the worse they seemed to get and the less Tony wanted to make any effort to fix them. “Now you run the show and you seem to think that’s how things are going to stay. You had a chance to run Stark Industries and you threw it back in my face.”

“I couldn’t handle doing everything you do every day! I didn’t know what I was doing and you left things in such a state…”

“I’m not _blaming_ you! But my opinion matters just as much as yours does and I made a judgment call and it was the right judgment call. After meeting with Scarlett today I know that she can help us. You should be happy! I’m finally getting my act together!”

“So you’re just going to ignore all my input then? Everything I want means nothing?”

“It’s _all_ about you, isn’t it Pepper?” Tony rolled his eyes and walked away from her again. She wasn’t listening to what he was really saying; that much was evident. He had considered that maybe he wasn’t explaining it clearly but what else could he possible say? Secretly he’d been hoping she’d be proud of him for going out of the house. That was a huge step for him. He’d even done some work! What more could he do to get her to realize he was finally fighting?

“ _Excuse_ me?” Pepper’s voice rose higher the angrier she got. It was practically squeaking.

“Never mind. Arguing isn’t getting us anywhere. This is the decision _I_ made. If you don’t like it then go ahead and be angry with me.”

“I _am_ angry with you!”

“Big surprise.” Tony laughed, raising his eyebrows on his forehead and moistening his upper lip. “When _aren’t_ you mad at me? You would’ve been mad if I stayed in all day. You would’ve been mad if I’d worked on my suits. You’re mad when I try to run my company like you’ve been pushing me to do every day for months. So what is it, Pepper? What is it you want me to do that’s going to make you happy? Because I can’t seem to figure it out! No matter what I do, I’m wrong!” Tony snapped, feeling his heart racing in his ears. Every time they fought like this, every time they got closer to the root of their problems his body went into overdrive. The reactor in his chest felt like it was going to stop short if he continued but he’d already said what had been on his mind. Depending on Pepper’s reaction it could either calm him or make things worse. His fingers were tingling again and he felt sick to his stomach. How much had it taken out of him to say that out loud?

“I don’t know!” Pepper shouted in a panic. She searched her mind for an answer, shaking her head desperately. Was he right about her? Was she _always_ mad at him no matter what he did to try and rectify things? He wasn’t changing into the person she thought he’d been evolving into. That had hurt her and she was coming to terms with it. But maybe Tony _couldn’t_ be the man she’d expected him to be. She was feeling increasingly naïve for having ever thought that he _could_ change. Tony was upset that she would ever expect him to change in the first place. How was it that he’d seen it before she had? The notion terrified her.

“You know what I miss?” Tony finally lowered his voice and turned to the data that Jarvis silently hung in the air next to him. He brushed his fingers over the results and rearranged them with trembling hands. His heart was still pounding in his ears. The air in the room seemed thick and too heavy to breathe. He’d have to check the oxygen levels after Pepper left. Maybe there was some kind of malfunction in the ventilation system in his basement. Again her heard Scarlett’s voice in his head, telling him that he was having anxiety attacks caused by Post Traumatic Stress.

“No, I don’t.” Pepper didn’t want to ask either. She didn’t much care what Tony was going to say or what he missed. How could she after what he’d done? But why did it bother her? Other than the fact that he hadn’t listened to her, why was she so upset? She didn’t rightly know. Tony had disregarded her input time and time again and it had been something she’d gotten used to. Maybe she thought that would’ve changed after they had moved in together. 

“I miss my assistant.” Tony felt the words choke him but he didn’t gag on them, he didn’t show the upset it caused him to say it out loud. But it was the brutal truth. Rhodey had told him to be honest with her and that was what he was finally doing. Unfortunately it did not have the effect that Rhodey had predicted. Pepper’s face turned as red as her hair and he swore he could see tears in her eyes. Damnit, he didn’t want her to cry. He hated making Pepper cry. She was such a strong woman. When she cried he knew he’d really hurt her. Even though they weren’t seeing eye to eye at the moment Tony didn’t wish any ill will on Pepper. He hadn’t even meant it as the insult she’d taken it as. “Most of all, I miss my friend.” He added in, hoping to soften the blow. Perhaps he should have opened with that. It didn’t seem like Pepper was listening to him at all anymore.

“Screw you, Tony.” Pepper furrowed her brow and blinked her eyes closed tight to fight back the tears that had welled up. She managed to with a few deep breaths. Even _she’d_ fondly thought of the times where their relationship had been nothing but professional so why did it hurt so much to hear the same from him? “You’re a selfish asshole.” 

“Really?” Tony turned away from the hologram to watch her again. In that moment he saw that she genuinely thought he was only ever thinking of himself. He looked around his basement at the many suits lining the walls, each on display proudly. She thought they stood for something completely different than what they really did. He’d built them to protect her, to protect their life together, not to hide from her. How could she call him selfish when one of the only things he’d focused on for months had been their safety? Half the time he wasn’t even scared for himself! He’d never had anything or anyone worth protecting before. “You’re blind if you really think that.”

“Well, I do. You’ve always been like this! I thought you’d grow up by now.” Pepper spoke, her voice caught in her throat. Maybe she’d call Happy and have him pick her back up and take her away. She needed comfort.

“Maybe you should go stay with your mom tonight. If I’m so selfish, after all.” Tony suggested, clenching his jaw hard. He wasn’t upset or overly emotional, but he _was_ angry. He could feel his hands shaking and the urge to strike something growing ever heightened. The last thing he wanted to do was throw a fit in front of Pepper and frighten her too. Hadn’t he done enough damage?

“Maybe I will.” Pepper nodded hesitantly. Deep down she hoped he’d apologize and that she could go back upstairs. They could pretend this never happened. But did she really want that? Wasn’t this inevitable at some point? She wasn’t fighting to stay and he wasn’t fighting to keep her. She wanted to be somewhere else, anywhere else. Tony wasn’t going to budge from his platform and there was nothing she could do to make him. His face had gone pale and he looked to be searching her for some kind of hope just as she had. Maybe they were looking in all the wrong places. She almost considered asking him if he was okay. He didn’t look well. When she’d come downstairs he’d almost seemed like himself, but now he was off. 

She didn’t ask. She didn’t want to ask.

Tony turned away from her, sick to his stomach. As Pepper began walking toward the door he counted her footsteps until he was sure she was gone. The tabloid was still on his desk, accusing him of sins he hadn’t committed. He pretended to scrutinize the data hanging in front of him but really his vision was unfocused. He could hear her heels on the stairs getting further away until finally he could hear the door slam. She was gone and yet he still had a thousand things on his mind. Spots obstructed his vision and he desperately tried to blink them away. 

“Deep breaths.” Tony muttered. No matter how hard he tried to convince himself that he needed to stay calm it wasn’t working. He paced the room and the data disappeared to get out of his way. The more he dwelled on the fight the shorter his breath became. This caused his lungs to ache and tighten which only caused his breath to grow shorter. It was a vicious cycle that he wasn’t sure how to stop.

Finally he sat down on his wheeled computer chair and leaned back. His basement felt cold and uninviting again as it had the other day. It was the middle of the night and he had nowhere else to go if not there. The relationship he had with Pepper used to provide him comfort and now it did nothing but cause him stress and anxiety which built into whatever attacks caused his chest to feel this way. His fingers were completely numb, they didn’t feel real.

His head was swimming. If he didn’t calm down it would only get worse. The task seemed impossible. How could he possibly calm down? Everything he thought he knew was slipping out of his grasp and he was powerless to stop it! Pepper was changing. He was changing. Their relationship was changing. Despite his efforts to repair the damage everything kept slipping out of his grasp! What was he supposed to do? How was he supposed to fix this?

That was part of the problem.

Tony _couldn’t_ fix it. 

There was nothing he could do to repair the damage that had been done. The problems in his mind and in his heart seemed irreparable. He couldn’t even get Pepper to talk to him without making her upset so how could he help her? She was unhappy and it was _his_ fault! For all he knew their relationship was already over and they were going through the motions. 

Tony was a problem solver. He wasn’t the kind to sit idly by when something could be repaired.

Gripping the sides of his head Tony rested his hands on his knees and tried to coach himself into taking deep breaths. He couldn’t panic again not like he had earlier. He went from having not even known what a panic attack was to having multiple in the course of a few days. It was going to end up killing him at this rate. Who would’ve thought? Tony Stark’s end came via panic attack. The man with no fear, no reason for anxiety, was losing his mind in his basement after kicking out his live in girlfriend.

“Don’t suffer in silence.” He found himself whispering before he realized he was speaking. Wasn’t that what Scarlett had told him in the stairwell earlier? That it would only compound what was going on in his head? How was he supposed to share his suffering if there was no one around to share it with? Jarvis was there but he wasn’t the same as a living breathing human being. And even if he had someone there to listen to him he had no idea what he would say.

Suffering in silence was the only option he had. 

Tony needed help. 

For the first time in his life he recognized that he couldn’t go through this alone. He could call Rhodey and ask him to come over but wouldn’t that be too much to ask? How could he ask _anyone_ to go through what was plaguing him? How could anyone understand the panic he was experiencing?

When he opened his eyes again and lifted his head, he could see his vitals in the air floating in front of him. 

“Sir, your heart rate is fluctuating violently.” The computer whispered soothingly. “Should I call someone for help?”

“No, no Jarvis. It’s okay.” Tony exhaled but he knew it wasn’t okay. Nothing had been okay. No matter how many times he told himself he would be or assured others he was fine, nothing was okay. He missed who he was. Would he ever be that man again? He’d felt like he had been in Boston. It was almost harder after having felt like his old self again. Now he could remember exactly what he was missing. For awhile it had become routine to feel this way, but now he knew it wasn’t normal.

“No you’re not.” Even the artificially intelligent computer knew something was wrong. “And I don’t think it has anything to do with Miss Potts.”

“Jarvis, enough.” Tony held up his hand but his head was spinning.

“Take your own advice, sir. Don’t suffer in silence.”

“That wasn’t _my_ advice.” Tony reclined in his chair again and tried to ignore the way his pulse flashed red in front of his face. “It was someone else’s.”

“Whose?”

“A friend’s.” Tony’s thoughts drifted away. Scarlett had been the only person who had managed to successfully calm him down without making him feel pathetic for having panicked in the first place.

“Perhaps this friend would be willing to help you right now.” Jarvis suggested when Tony’s heart rate continued to rise and fall dramatically

“You know what, Jarvis? Maybe she will.” Tony adjusted in his seat and pulled his cell phone from his pocket. Scarlett had been the only one who had ever understood what he’d been suffering through and that included himself. Maybe she would be able to help him now.


	12. Refuge

“Damnit.” Scarlett dropped the Petri dish on her marble countertop in frustration then shoved it aside. The liquid inside of it had turned a putrid green color. She sat on a barstool in a long sleeved button up pajama shirt in her kitchen. On the counter rested a microscope, various phials and test tubes along with pills upon pills of medicine. To her left was a stack of papers scattered about and folded in various directions in an order that only she would understand. The mess had been there for days and each night she returned to it.

“Nothing’s working.” She rested her elbows on the counter and placed her head in her hands. There were several discarded Petri dishes and microscope slides off to the right of the counter, each discolored or dried up. Every attempt she’d made that night to complete her project had failed. It didn’t help that her head was pounding.

After she’d passed out in the parking garage she’d been brought to S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters in Boston by Natasha and Jinx. After searching one of the men that had attacked them, S.H.I.E.L.D. recovery agents, who had been sent to clean up the scene, had discovered that they had been sent to capture her _or_ gather blood samples.

Since Scarlett was such a threat they had each been armed with a series of sedatives to placate her. Unfortunately that sedative had conflicted with a medicine she was already taking and had lowered her blood sugar. She’d spent several hours hooked up to IVs with her vitals being monitored by S.H.I.E.L.D. doctors that she was unfamiliar with. Most of that time had been spent answering questions she couldn’t provide answers to and being poked and prodded to no avail. After the ordeal she hadn’t gotten the chance to speak with anyone about going after her ex-boyfriend and the very people who had attacked her that night.

Scarlett was feeling rather defeated. It didn’t seem likely that Nick Fury would trust her to go on a mission on her own. She was far weaker than she had once been. Staying fit had become a much more difficult task in the weeks past but she was determined to fight harder than ever.

Her past was catching up with her faster than she could outrun it and there were no bridges left to burn. Head still pounding from the side effects of the medicine she’d been dosed with, Scarlett rubbed her temples and tried to think clearly. It may have been too late for her to be working and she had been told to rest for the night, but instead she’d stayed up and performed chemical tests. It had been several hours now and she’d tried every combination she could think of that wouldn’t kill her. She’d hope to have a few mysteries solved before she made it back to S.H.I.E.L.D. in the morning.

Nothing was working for her no matter how hard she tried. 

She turned to the half drained glass of wine she’d poured after she’d gotten home. Of course, she wasn’t _supposed_ to drink either but Scarlett was very tired of being told what to do. Everywhere she turned something else was out of her control. Control was something Scarlett was not used to giving up. If she wanted to drink she was going to drink. Maybe it was time for her to give up the ghost, at least for the night, at least on her experiments. She wasn’t in her right mind. None of her chemistry problems were going to be solved at least not that night.

Natasha had promised she would consult Nick Fury in the morning, once they were sure she was okay, about pursuing MedCo and getting revenge for her Indian friend. But somehow Scarlett felt even that endeavor was a fruitless one. After the attack in the parking garage S.H.I.E.L.D. would view her only as vulnerable and would be less likely than ever to allow her to go on the offensive. At that point she couldn’t rightly blame them. Between her failed tests, letting a MedCo Security Agent stick her with a strange needle, and her waning strength Scarlett wasn’t sure she was fit for duty. Natasha had been right when they’d been on their way to the parking garage to retrieve her car.

Scarlett had been severely emotionally and physically compromised. 

That had never stopped her before, but it was possible she didn’t have a choice anymore. If it hadn’t been for Jinx and Natasha that night who knew where she would’ve ended up and in what kind of trouble? She had gotten lucky and luck was something she didn’t believe in or rely on. Even with the facts laid out in front of her Scarlett found it hard to give up and let others care for her. It wasn’t in her nature. 

Before she could dwell further on the matter a resounding buzzing came from the other end of the counter. 

Her phone was ringing, dancing across the marble. Scarlett reached over the counter and picked it up, turning it over to look at the screen. She didn’t recognize the number but it had been programmed into her contacts as _An Interruption_. Beneath that was a picture of Tony from earlier in the day. For some reason she found herself smiling. How had he managed that? Regardless of her amusement she knew she should ignore him. She needed something to cheer her up so against her better judgment she answered his call.

“Do you always call strange women at three in the morning?” Scarlett picked up her glass of wine and walked away from the mess she’d made and over to her couch. If she was going to be up she might as well be comfortable. “And how the hell did you manage to program yourself as something cute into my phone? I don’t recall taking your contact information or letting you touch my phone.” Scarlett took a sip out of her wine glass. She didn’t regret disobeying doctor’s orders. It was possible she’d regret it later, but that was something she could push off for now.

“I have my ways, Miss Damien.” Tony was surprised that she had picked up. He’d spent the last twenty minutes trying to talk himself out of calling her. But he couldn’t get it off of his mind so there he was. “And well, it’s only midnight by _me_ so I guess… I don’t usually do this.” Despite him being as witty and clever as he had been during their earlier conversations Scarlett couldn’t help but feel like he was off. There was something about his voice that sounded shaky and unsettled. Maybe it was just the late hour getting to her.

“Why are you calling, Tony?” Scarlett laughed, setting her glass down on the coffee table and pulling her feet up onto the couch to curl beneath her. The pillows were comfortable so she hugged one in her arms.

“You’re so full of questions tonight, Scarlett. My turn. What… are you wearing?” She could practically hear the smile on his face but rolled her eyes in response even though he couldn’t see her.

“Very cute, but avoidance isn’t moving this conversation along.”

“I wasn’t being cute. I was being serious. You seem to get those two adjectives confused quite frequently. I mean, I _am_ cute, but it shouldn’t be _that_ distracting, really… Especially over the phone, it’s not like you can see me. I can, however, tell you what I’m wearing and it’s not very much…” He drifted off, afraid to talk about what was really on his mind. Hearing her voice had calmed him for whatever reason but it didn’t mean he actually _wanted_ to talk about what had happened.

Actually he really _did_ want to talk about his fight with Pepper and the realization that his anxiety was taking over his life. He just wasn’t sure _how._ It had seemed like such a simple idea in theory. But now that he had Scarlett on the phone the words simply wouldn’t come to him.

“What do you want from me, Stark? It’s late.” Scarlett smiled but her voice became serious as she continued on. After the night she’d had there was little room left for joking. Somehow, Tony had still managed to pull a smile out of her and that was not an easy task to do. Jinx had spent half her time in S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters trying to make Scarlett laugh. She tried everything from reading passages from the smutty romance novels she frequently read to telling corny jokes that were so painful they made Scarlett wince. Usually it would’ve worked but Scarlett had far too much on her mind that night. “You’re avoiding very simple questions when you’re the one who called _me_. You must have something to say.”

“Why is it you don’t sound tired for someone who claims it’s an annoyance to call her at three in the morning?” Tony countered, ignoring the obvious dig. Scarlett saw right through him even from thousands of miles away. She couldn’t see his face, couldn’t hear the panic that had been so obvious earlier in the day, so how the hell did she know that something was up? Then again, it _was_ midnight and he _was_ calling her out of the blue after they had only met less than twelve hours earlier that same day. “Was that call you took earlier, you know the one that interrupted our liquid lunch, really serious? It must have been to keep you up at this hour.”

“It was. So why is it _you’re_ not sleeping, Stark?” Scarlett very quickly forgot about her wine glass while she spoke to Tony. It was weird having someone to talk to while she was at home. After forming Refuge, when Scarlett wasn’t publicizing or putting on an act somewhere she was spending her time alone researching or sleeping. For someone who was in the public eye as often as she was her life had become incredibly lonely. 

“I couldn’t sleep because I was thinking about you.” Tony didn’t sound like he was joking but maybe that was because he wasn’t. It wasn’t in the way that he’d implied, of course, but he had been thinking of how she had calmed him earlier in the day and the fun they’d had together. There was nothing lustful or unsavory behind his words, only sincerity and curiosity. Talking to her was taking the edge off. For brief flickers of a moment Tony felt like his old self. It was a good feeling, a very good feeling. It gave him hope that maybe, someday, things would be okay even if he was never the man he used to be. 

“I highly doubt there’s any truth to that.” Scarlett laughed under her breath and traced her fingers over the pillow in her arms. She had a hard time sitting still but at least she was managing it for a little while. Talking to Tony took her mind off all the nonsense that had happened earlier in the night, at least partially. Somehow she felt deceitful, not telling him everything about herself but that was by design. The less people knew the safer they would be and that had never been more true than it was that night. Her contact had gotten killed simply because he’d been part of her life for so long. Anyone she had known for an extended period of time was at risk now.

Scarlett could only hope that it wouldn’t apply to the new people in her life, those who thought she was the brilliant CEO of Refuge and nothing more. Those lives were innocent and she had worked hard to keep her distance as much as she had. Though she wasn’t sure how well she was doing with Tony Stark considering they were on the phone at three in the morning. 

“You know it’s only midnight here in Malibu. I think that’s a pretty reasonable hour to still be awake, thank you very much.” Tony continued to dodge questions left and right. Maybe he didn’t have to tell Scarlett why he’d really called. He could feel the grip on his heart and lungs loosening and breathing became much easier. The vitals that Jarvis had refused to put away were finally returning to normal and that alone comforted him. Maybe he didn’t _need_ Scarlett to talk him down. Hearing her voice seemed to do the trick. He didn’t think it was her specifically that was doing it for him, rather talking to someone who didn’t judge him and understood what he was going through seemed to calm him.

Or maybe it _was_ Scarlett and she had some kind of magic touch with him. How was he supposed to know? Either way this phone call was providing him with comfort that he didn’t think possible only moments prior. Any doubts he’d had about calling and disturbing her had completely flown out the window when he’d heard her voice.

“Are you implying that _I’m_ the one who must be hiding something because I’m up at three in the morning?”

“That’s exactly what I’m implying.”

“I’m going to backtrack a little here and point out _again_ that you were the one who called me. For all you know I may just sound really alert when I’m woken up in the middle of the night.”

“Yeah, because that happens to anyone.” Tony laughed and shook his head. He didn’t think anything of her being up or that she had any secrets to hide. For some reason he’d hoped that she had been thinking about him and the offer that he had made her earlier in the day and it had kept her up late doing research. While he had no idea if that was something she would do, he liked to think that’s how it played out. Once Tony believed it to be so in the back of his mind it was very difficult to convince him of otherwise. 

“I happen to suffer from insomnia. I couldn’t sleep.” Scarlett shook her head. It wasn’t exactly a lie, but none of what she said was _exactly_ a lie. It was conveniently not the truth, that’s all. 

“Ah, I suffer from the same curse.” Tony sighed in understanding and Scarlett felt a twinge of guilt in her stomach. He seemed to think that they were bonding over this little factoid. Then again, she did often suffer from insomnia. It just wasn’t the reason she was awake on that particular night. It hadn’t been plaguing her nearly as often these days. Thanks to S.H.I.E.L.D. Scarlett often found herself exhausted at much earlier hours than she was used to. Sometimes in the middle of the day she would have to cancel her meetings to catch a nap. It was something she had never thought she’d be doing, but circumstances were different now. Sleep was a necessity. 

“I hear it comes along with genius. I guess it must be a blessing and a curse.” Scarlett still felt guilty, but at least it was over something little that she understood completely. 

“You should fly out here.” Tony suggested abruptly. “Then we could at least work through the insomnia and it wouldn’t be time wasted.” Temporarily Scarlett was at a loss for words. It was a very bold offer, considering how little they knew each other. Yet for some reason it left her wanting.

“It’s about a five hour flight not including preparation time and traveling to and from airports.” Scarlett scoffed once she’d gathered her wits. “By the time I got there it would be morning. Unfortunately I would never be able to make it back in time for the meeting I have at eight with an investor.” Scarlett spoke sympathetically. She wasn’t sure the offer had been real anyway. Realistically, there was no way she could get to Malibu and back before then and she _had_ to meet Mickey that morning for some S.H.I.E.L.D. thing. If she didn’t, someone would come and collect her and that would be messy. She didn’t want to deal with anything messy, at least not for a little while. That night had been messy enough.

“Aw, come on… you always have meetings! You’re starting to sound worse than me.” Tony whined dramatically. He got up from the chair behind his desk and walked over to the couch in his basement. He’d relocated his blankets there earlier in the morning and had decided to sleep closer to his suits. He didn’t do it because he wanted to feel safe, but he thought it made more sense than traveling up and downstairs every day. With Pepper gone he could very well sleep in his own bed but it somehow didn’t seem right given the circumstances.

Weirdly, lying in that bed while talking to Scarlett almost felt like cheating on Pepper. Tony was many things but he was _not_ a cheater. He may have been at one point in his life but it wasn’t something he’d ever do to Pepper, at least not while in his right mind. But considering the way things had been he was sure that no one would blame him if the opportunity came up and he didn’t pass it by. There he was, already justifying cheating when he knew he wouldn’t. Immediately he pushed the thought from his head.

“Your company has been well established under your control for years, Stark. My company _just_ went public. I have to keep up or Refuge isn’t going to stay afloat.”

“It’s your baby, Scarlett. It’s doing great, way better than you seem to think it is. Refuge is a staple in this industry now. Why do you think I’m so insistent on you working with me?”

“I thought it was because I’m brilliant and good publicity.” Scarlett pursed her lips. Of course she knew that was why Tony had contacted her in the first place. He most certainly had not been the first CEO of a company who wanted to share her limelight that had contacted her. However, he had been the first that she had indulged. Mostly that had been because he’d been so incredibly insistent upon getting her attention. She’d had every intention of letting him down gently as she had every other offer before him but then he’d had that panic attack. Scarlett had seen him struggling and in that moment had become the friend that he’d needed. It wasn’t that she had meant to do that, it was that she’d acted on instinct. Maybe somewhere deep down, Scarlett had needed a friend too. Natasha and Jinx were all well and good but neither one of them were there simply because they wanted to be. S.H.I.E.L.D. was _forcing_ them to be with her.

Even when she’d been angry and upset about her Indian friend Natasha and Jinx had been ultimately thinking about S.H.I.E.L.D. and what lay ahead. Maybe Scarlett needed to go out and drink until she couldn’t see or maybe she needed to punch something until her fingers bled. But no, instead, it had become about her situation. It had become about the initiative. Scarlett felt her life slipping out of her hands.

Tony had been at the right place at the wrong time and for some reason she was driven to help him. How was it that no one seemed to notice he was struggling behind that air of confidence? Scarlett seemed to think it was obvious but maybe it was because no one seemed to see her struggle either. She knew what struggle looked like because she saw it in the mirror every day.

“Well, yeah that’s part of it but, no really, it’s because you’ve come up with something… developed technology I didn’t think was possible! Let me tell you, that’s impressive because I am responsible for ninety percent of the technology that no one thought was possible.” Tony chuckled.

“Only you would somehow manage to turn a compliment into a way to toot your own horn.”

“I never toot my own horn, it’s not my style.” Tony smirked and Scarlett stifled a laugh on the other end of the phone. 

“Stop it.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” As quickly as he had changed the subject he returned it to the original topic. “You know, if you accepted my job offer it wouldn’t be a problem if you flew out to Malibu for a week at a time. You could come out here, do some work and still manage to run your business from afar. It’s good worker relations and all that… Plus it’d be nothing but good press for you.” Tony insisted, though he wasn’t sure that was true. The newspaper that Pepper had thrown at him was already filled with rumors. Maybe if they gave the press a real story it would be less conjecture and more about the facts. Tony doubted it. Facts were often far less interesting than all the rumors but it was something they could at least hope for. Rumors seemed to follow Scarlett no matter what she did. He doubted they bothered her these days.

“You’re right.” Scarlett sighed, pulling her blanket over her legs and curling up against the couch. She could go lay in her bed, and given the way her night had gone she probably should’ve been resting. She resisted for whatever reason. It felt lazy to rest. 

“Can you say that again? I don’t think I heard it right the first time.” Tony blinked in surprise, having not expected her to agree with him. 

“Don’t push your luck, Stark. Don’t you get enough praise?” Scarlett chuckled, forgetting about the mess on her counter and the hours she’d spent in a S.H.I.E.L.D. infirmary. “I have to come out to Malibu soon anyway but I have an important meeting in the morning that I can’t miss out on.”

“Why is it you _have_ to come out to Malibu? I mean besides to see me, of course.” Tony batted his eyelashes comically. He’d have to hook Scarlett up with a video capable phone. He didn’t much like talking to anyone this particular way. He would rather have Jarvis control his calls the way he usually did. It wasn’t often that he actually used his phone in a typical manner.

“I must perform my due diligence before I really consider any deal you offer me. That means I have to come and look at what you’ve got going on in Stark Industries. Officially.”

“Seriously? You’re going to feel me out here?” Tony cocked an eyebrow curiously. “That’s more like third date material, but I’ll take it I guess.”

“I don’t jump into anything without knowing what I’m getting into. I have to make sure you’re not trying to screw me over, Stark.”

“Well, I’m definitely not trying to screw you over, but if you change the wording there a little bit… then it’s _definitely_ third date material.”

“Go ahead, joke all you like.” Scarlett laughed. She hadn’t laughed that much in a very long time. She’d started to think that she had forgotten how to sincerely laugh about anything. Her life had been filled with cynicism and sarcasm on a monumental scale in the months past.

“Oh, I plan to. You couldn’t stop me if you tried.”

“That’s why I’ve decided that it’s much less stressful not to try. Plus, it’s mostly funny.” Scarlett sighed softly. She knew that Tony hadn’t called her to discuss business so late at night. Something else had been on his mind but for whatever reason he didn’t seem capable of actually discussing it with her. When she’d first heard his voice it had sounded strained and confused but now, as it had earlier, he sounded flirty and carefree. In a weird way, Scarlett was sure he was seeking some kind of comfort in _her_ voice. She’d never been a comfort to anyone before, at least not that she could recall. Maybe there had been a time before her life had become so complicated that she had been but those days were a faint memory. It felt nice to help someone. With death seemingly following her everywhere a little life was a relief.

“I’m still surprised you answered your phone so late.”

“Or early in the morning depending on how you look at it. To be honest I didn’t realize the hour when I picked it up.” Scarlett clarified, glancing at the clock on her wall. “Time escapes me pretty often. It’s all relative. I’ve missed many a meeting simply because I’ve forgotten about what time it is. That’s why I had to hire a secretary or I’d never be where I’m supposed to be.”

“I understand that more than you know.” Tony thought that he did at least, or he had at one point in time. There weren’t many meetings he attended these days after what had happened in Manhattan. But now he was hoping to get back into the swing of things. It didn’t seem like such a daunting task when he was in the right frame of mind. He missed working at his company, he missed telling other people what to do, and he very much missed going out and having a good time. With any luck in a few weeks his life would return to the way it was.

Maybe. It hadn’t seemed so simple an hour ago. Somehow, for the second time that day, Scarlett had managed to calm him down. Only this time she’d had absolutely no idea that he’d required calming in the first place. If he told her that he’d fought with his girlfriend and began to panic beneath the overwhelming amount of stress that had piled up in the past months would she laugh at him? Would she judge him? From what he could tell, he really didn’t think she would.

Perhaps he was putting her on a pedestal and building up who he thought she was. That was what he was sure Rhodey would tell him. Or maybe he could see exactly who she was behind the mask the press had made her wear.

“So how do you plan on functioning five hours from now without any sleep? And if you don’t have any plans can I make a recommendation?” Tony laughed. He should’ve hung up the phone and insisted she go get some rest but he didn’t want to. His walls had been closing in on him only an hour ago and now the basement seemed inviting again.

“I just figured I’d drink twelve cups of coffee in a very short period of time and substitute caffeine for the sleep I didn’t get.” Scarlett shrugged, glancing over at the remaining glass of wine. She should finish it but the more she relaxed on the couch the less motivated she felt to grab it. Still, she hated to let it go to waste.

“I’m telling you that a Bloody Mary will be the best thing to wake you up.”

“There’s nothing like vodka in the morning to start off your day.” She scoffed with a roll of her eyes.

“Trust me.”

“Big words coming from a man who broke into my office earlier today.”

“I told you I’d pay for that. Does that not count for anything?” Tony artfully and very quickly changed the subject. “When you come down here you’ll have to let me know. I can set up a guest room for you if you like…”

“Oh, no way, I am _not_ staying with you. That sounds like the worst idea in history.”

“Fine, fine, it was worth a shot but I do know the finest hotels in Malibu and can email you some suggestions or set you up with a place. I have connections…”

“Yeah, that’s just what we need in the press. Tony Stark buys Scarlett Damien, notorious sex-bomb, a hotel suite near his home. Let me take care of accommodations if and when I end up out there, okay? I don’t care about the rumors but we don’t need to hand them a story either.” Scarlett laughed and she could practically hear Tony pouting on the other end of the line.

“You are taking all the fun headlines away from me.”

“You’re trying to get me into trouble and trust me I do that just fine without your help.” Scarlett closed her eyes. How long had they been on the phone? It didn’t matter. However long it was, it wasn’t going to end anytime soon. They continued talking into the night until the sun had risen. Tony would fall asleep holding his phone and lying on his couch. Scarlett only hung up after she was sure that he’d fallen asleep and that was only because she’d heard a quiet robotic voice with a soft British accent alerting her that he’d passed out. 

There wouldn’t be any rest for her. Maybe a catnap here or there, but nothing substantial. Scarlett had far too much on her mind.


	13. Take Action

Night very quickly gave way to morning. 8am arrived far sooner than Scarlett had hoped it would. Sometime after she’d gotten off the phone with Tony she’d managed to close her eyes, though it hadn't been for long. She kept waking up with pain in her chest or from some nightmare that left her in a cold sweat. Her alarm went off at seven and she rushed around her house to get ready for her appointment. Somehow she managed to make it to Refuge on time and still look like she’d gotten a full night’s sleep. Sometimes makeup was a pretty magical thing. It hid the weariness she felt on a constant basis. It was a good thing that she wasn’t meeting up with Natasha that morning. She was sure the assassin would see right through her. 

Natasha always did. It was very annoying.

With any luck, she wouldn't run into her until tomorrow.

Michelangela Pierce was waiting for Scarlett in Refuge's lobby. She was exceptionally tall with brown hair pulled back into a short ponytail and bangs that neatly framed her face. Scarlett didn’t bother checking in with Jinx upstairs. She knew that Mickey would have stopped there first. Mickey and Jinx were close friends. Whenever she caught Jinx gossiping on the phone she was sure that it was with Mickey. 

Currently Mickey was crouched low, petting her golden retriever. Amusingly enough, the dog’s name was Pluto. Scarlett couldn’t help herself and for the first week after they'd first met had made so many Disney jokes she was sure that Mickey was going to strangle her. Every so often she threw one in for good measure.

“What, no Minnie today? Or is she still upstairs in her office?” Scarlett smirked and Mickey rolled her eyes but smiled softly. Scarlett could immediately tell that Mickey was walking on eggshells after the night before. Great, _another_ person treating her with kid gloves. 

Scarlett was tired of being fragile.

“She’s upstairs and I doubt Jinx would like being called Minnie and all that implies.” Mickey stood up to her full height and held out her hand to shake which Scarlett did. Scarlett considered herself tall, but Mickey made her feel short.

“Are you kidding me? She’d love it. Imagine the bad stories she could write.” Scarlett crouched down and pet the friendly golden retriever. The dog scooted closer to her and wagged his tail contently. “Think of all the jokes she could make! The possibilities are endless. I don't know why I didn't think of it earlier.”

“Are you ready?” Mickey nodded toward the door, deciding to let the joke go. Pluto was a good judge of character so while Scarlett had intimidated her at first Mickey had ultimately decided she was a good person. Pluto had been the deciding factor.

“Am I ever?”

“No, we can’t go for breakfast first. The last time I did that I got in big trouble. You keep getting me into trouble with your procrastination.”

“You _need_ to get in trouble sometimes. It’s fun.” Scarlett stood and then glanced back at the dog who leaned his head against her leg in hopes she would continue petting him. “Sorry Pluto, your mom is being a party pooper today and making us do what we said we’d do.” She pouted dramatically more at Mickey than at the dog. “No dog parks, no adventures, no restaurant food for you.”

“You can’t guilt me into skipping your appointment by using Pluto.” Mickey pulled on Pluto’s leash and the dog stood up, tail wagging. “Let’s get going.”

“Why did you bring Pluto if you’re not going to let me play with him? That’s just mean.” Scarlett followed her out of the Refuge building and down the stone steps to the car that was parked on the corner waiting for them. Mickey helped Pluto into the backseat and then got into the driver’s side.

“He didn’t want to stay home alone today. I bring him to the office every so often. Come on, get in. You have a big meeting this morning and if we’re late it’s going to be my ass on the line.” Mickey turned over the engine. Scarlett reluctantly got into the passenger seat of the car and stared longingly out the window. The press had flocked outside, as always, but they never followed her to _these_ appointments. Mickey had apparently been trained in the art of aggressive driving; she always managed to lose any paparazzi that followed in traffic. Though most of the time this scared the hell out of Scarlett in the process.

“How much would it take for me to bribe you into taking us somewhere completely different? We could… drive for six hours south and end up in New York. I know a few really great places we could get lost in down there. No one would find us until tomorrow. I could put off my appointment for just a _little_ while longer. It won’t hurt to wait another day.” Scarlett sighed dreamily. “I have a few theater acquaintances down there. Backstage passes, a little alcohol. You’d never want to go home. He seems a little boring, but Nathan knows how to party.”

“Agent Romanoff would have my head if I did that.” Mickey weaved through the traffic in Boston, carefully keeping an eye on which cars followed them and which cars didn’t. 

“She can have my head instead. I’m causing all the trouble.” Scarlett laughed, watching as Pluto tried to wedge his way further into the front seat of the car. She pet his head lazily and watched as he gave a sweet puppy sigh in return. 

“Except that you’re the one we’re trying to protect, remember?”

“I don’t _need_ anyone to protect me. That’s not what I signed up for.”

“I’m not arguing with you, Scarlett.” Mickey could feel the tension in the car, radiating off of Scarlett. “If you had just _stayed_ last night after…”

“And then have to deal with my mystery disappearance?” With a roll of her eyes Scarlett tapped on the car door. “Right. If they see me coming from anywhere other than my house then either the next day the papers are reporting that I had another torrid love affair with whoever I was standing next to or I’m off doing something nefarious.”

“Well, they’re not _entirely_ wrong from what I hear.”

“Oh my _god._ ” Scarlett stared at her in disbelief. “What is with you ladies at S.H.I.E.L.D. and the gossip? Is there a phone chain I’m not a part of? How can I get in on this? Or is all the drama about me these days?” Scarlett waited for Mickey to wave her S.H.I.E.L.D. badge at the parking garage attendant.

“There’s no phone chain.” Mickey chuckled after rolling up her window.

“That’s right, you and Jinx are joined at the hip. I keep forgetting since I only see you in a professional setting.” Scarlett used the term professional loosely. Most times when she saw Michelangela Pierce the woman was stressed out of her mind. To be honest, most of the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents she spent time with seemed particularly stressed. Or was it just when they were around her? Scarlett pushed the insecurity from her mind as she stepped out of the car.

“Most of the gossip _is_ about you these days. If it makes you feel better.” Mickey chuckled as she walked with Scarlett toward the elevator that would take them far underground.

“ _Thanks?_ ”

“It’s not going to be so bad.” Mickey shrugged, hoping to sound comforting.

“It’s never good, if that’s what you’re trying to convince me.”

“I could get you a lollipop if you like. Cherry okay?”

“No thanks, Dr. Ganter isn’t going to let me have any fun today. We both know that.”

“It will be a _secret_ lollipop then.”

“I don’t need a lollipop.” Scarlett went to press the button on the elevator but was denied. Rolling her eyes she muttered something about still not having security clearance with S.H.I.E.L.D. Mickey pressed the same button, held it down for three seconds and the elevator began its descent.

“…okay.” Mickey smiled regardless of the awkward silence that fell between them. “It’s actually a big day today for you.”

“Really? Why would you tell me that? Didn’t you just say it wouldn’t be so bad?”

“I didn’t say a bad day, I said a big day.”

“That’s literally the same thing.”

“Not really.”

“When you’re about to get poked and prodded by a bunch of strangers, there’s no adjective you could use that would sound good, Mickey.” 

“It’s really going to be okay.”

“Thanks for your vote of confidence.” With that the conversation was at an end. Scarlett didn’t want to talk. This stupid secret meeting happened whenever S.H.I.E.L.D. wanted it to and more recently it had become more frequent. She was tired of the glances from the other Agents. Fear. Pity. Hope. Scarlett didn’t want any of them. Finally the elevator doors opened into a sterile looking hallway.

“Oh, they’re here!” A woman with wavy dark hair turned toward them when the doors opened and brightened with a wide smile. Her accent was charming and cute. The man standing next to her was slightly taller and looked younger than he likely was. “Fitz, they’re here!”

“Simmons, calm down. They can hear you.” Fitz sounded sheepish but was smiling with eyes just as bright as his counterpart.

“Hello!” Simmons approached with Fitz on her tail, holding her hand out to Scarlett to shake. “You must be Miss Scarlett Damien! It’s a pleasure to meet you at last, we’ve heard so much about you.”

“Okay…” Scarlett shook the woman’s hand and then stopped when her counterpart interrupted. His accent was quite cute but Scarlett couldn’t place it as Irish or Scottish. It seemed like he’d spent a little too long in the States.

“Miss Damien, it is an honor! I’ve spent the last two weeks pouring through your journals and they are brilliant, absolutely brilliant! Your work with weapons even from ten years ago is far beyond what we’ve seen. I’ve got a number of questions…”

“Fitz, stop you’re overwhelming her!” Simmons smiled apologetically and clasped her hands together. “After last night you are remarkably filled with color! I didn’t expect you to look so healthy after going over your lab reports. Can I ask you what kind of diet you’re on?” Scarlett stared at the two younger scientists in lab coats and then turned to Mickey.

“What's happening? What on earth is happening?” Scarlett shook her head in awe.

“What does she mean? I thought she’d be excited to meet us.” Fitz spoke under his breath to Simmons.

“Oh gosh, I don’t think anyone’s told her.” Simmons whispered. “Our apologies Miss Damien, we thought you’d been briefed about our involvement in your case ages ago!”

“Scarlett, these are Agents Jemma Simmons and Leo Fitz.” Mickey introduced quickly. “They were working personally for a long time with Agent Coulson and recently were assigned to your case.”

“They look like kids.” Scarlett held her hand up. “No offense.”

“No of course not, I take it as a compliment.” Jemma smiled politely but Leo muttered something under his breath about not at all looking like he was that young. “I’m sorry about all that, Miss Damien, we thought you were aware of our involvement.”

“Yeah, you keep saying that.” Scarlett cleared her throat and nodded to Mickey. “You can go report to Fury and Romanoff that I came in like a good girl. But just remember that you had the chance to go to Manhattan and elbow with celebrities while getting wildly drunk with someone who knows more than how to have a good time and you turned it down for _work._ ” Scarlett scolded and this left Mickey pouting. She hadn’t put it in that sort of perspective.

“I’ll be back shortly. We’re not allowed to socialize anyway.” Mickey smiled and patted Scarlett on the shoulder before reaching to pet Pluto behind his ears and leading him down the hall. 

“So, you specialize in weapons and engineering, yes?” Scarlett nodded toward Leo who perked up.

“I thought you didn’t know who we were.” 

“You got _really_ excited about my journals so I took a wild guess.” Scarlett then pointed to Jemma who looked eager to hear her response. “I want to say microbiology.”

“Close, life sciences.” Jemma chuckled. “I’ve been taking a second look at your blood work over the past month. Dr. Ganter is a brilliant man but I’ve had more experience with foreign substances so Agent Coulson thought I might offer a different opinion when it came to treating you.” 

“Great, another doctor. Again, no offense. Just not loving doctors right now.” Scarlett took off her jacket and threw it over her shoulder. 

“I’m not going to condescend you by saying I’m sorry about all this but I understand your frustration.” Jemma nodded toward the hallway. “Walk with me to take your vitals while I explain what will be changing.”

“I was hoping that during your first treatment I could borrow a moment of your time to discuss some of the work with your journals.” Fitz interrupted, holding one of the older journals up and Scarlett nodded her head.

“Yeah, I could use the company.” Scarlett no longer felt herself. She never did at these S.H.I.E.L.D. meetings, or rather doctor’s appointments. The white sterile hospitals walls reminded her of just what was happening inside her, beyond her control. Most days she could fake it. But as Jemma put on a sterile mask while she performed simple tasks such as take hair, saliva, and blood samples it reminded Scarlett that nothing was okay.

“I hope we didn’t upset you back there. I was sure that Agent Coulson would have told you all about us by now. It has been a month since we were approached for the case, after all.” Jemma spoke sympathetically as she took Scarlett’s blood pressure.

“Nope. No one tells me anything if they don’t have to. No one likes arguing with me. Agent Pierce back there? Gets the short end of the straw most times. When it’s too difficult to tell me they send Agent Romanoff because they know if I put up a fight she could knock me out.” Scarlett shook her hand as her fingers went numb. “Used to not be that way. It used to be whichever one of us got lucky.”

“I’m sorry.” Jemma stopped her tests and placed her gloved hands on the table next to her. “I read your file. From what I know, you’ve accomplished great things. And considering everything I know to be true about all this… you’re doing remarkably well.”

“Well, you’re right about some of those things.” Scarlett cleared her throat. “So why you? Why not Dr. Ganter? He’s familiar with me so how did you get stuck with this?”

“I volunteered.” Jemma didn’t quite seem to understand why she would feel cheated. “I’ve heard all the stories, why wouldn’t I want to meet the woman at the center of them?”

“Could you spread that around a little more? It’s always an ice box in this place when I walk in.”

“You’re intimidating of course, but… more fascinating than anything.” Jemma smiled and took off her mask. “This way while I explain the new treatment.”

“New? No one said anything about new.” Scarlett grimaced.

“Come, sit down. It’s not so bad, I promise.”

“Everyone keeps saying that and yet it’s always bad. That last time I was here was a nightmare…” Scarlett objected. “I threw up for almost two days straight. Do you know how hard it is to keep puking a secret? It’s not easy, that’s for damn sure.”

“That’s precisely why I’m changing your medication!” Jemma laughed. Despite the seriousness of Scarlett’s situation, it seemed she still had a sense of humor. Simmons could appreciate that. “Look, there isn’t going to be anything magical that will make you feel wonderful but what I’m going to give you will change the rules a little in your favor.”

“So far you are my favorite doctor.” Scarlett reluctantly allowed Jemma to hook her up to the IV next to her chair.

“For one you will be permitted to consume alcohol again.”

“That’s good because honestly, Simmons, I never really stopped and I don't plan to.”

“I couldn’t believe they put you on those blood thinning medications when I read your file! After all that you’ve been through you deserve a strong drink if you so desire.”

“Oh yes, definitely my favorite doctor. Can you pass that along to Ganter? He’s got a stick up his ass. Keeps asking me about my mental health and such. I’m not into shrinks.”

“Well, psychology never was my strong suit either.” 

“Thank god.” 

“Unfortunately I can’t give you all good news.”

“So far this has all been too good to be true so I guess I can’t complain.”

“This medicine is cumulative and long term. It will get worse the longer it’s in your system and depending on how you progress it could get worse very quickly.” Jemma spoke steadily but appeared sympathetic. Scarlett thought she was okay with this new girl. She wasn’t condescending and she didn’t seem to have the same air of pity that most S.H.I.E.L.D. agents reeked of when in the same room with her.

“Don’t define worse. You people give me a list of what I’m supposed to feel and I suddenly start feeling it. Just brace me for it.”

“I can do that.” Jemma held a file folder to her chest and smiled slightly. “I don’t suppose you want to look over the notes I made in your file.”

“I don’t.” Scarlett grimaced and shook her head. “If there’s anything imperative in there, have it faxed to my office. I can’t really be seen carrying around medical files.” 

“I understand. I’ll have them sent over. I heard a rumor that you might be privately doing some work and I want you to have all the information.”

“Are you _sure_ you’re a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent?” Scarlett clicked her tongue suspiciously. She’d been told several times by pretty much every Agent at S.H.I.E.L.D. to stop experimenting on herself, to stop running her own tests. Well, there was just no way Scarlett was going to do that. She was a problem solver! “I’ve been told implicitly not to do any work.”

“Yes, but if you _were_ doing work you should know what’s in your blood.” Jemma smiled knowingly.

“I feel like this is a trap.”

“I understand what you’re going through in a sense, Miss Damien. I mean, to an extent at least. I know if it was me and there was something I could do, anything, then I would do it. The powers that be may not quite understand that and want to try to control all the elements of your case but not all of us agree with that. Including Agent Coulson. I’ll fax these to your office and your private line.”

“You know, Agent Simmons? You are not what I expected.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment Miss Damien.” 

“Good.” Scarlett sighed, leaning back in her chair. Whatever Jemma was giving her was cold as it spread through her veins. It made her tired even sitting there. “Not as harsh, right?”

“No vomiting, I promise.” Jemma checked Scarlett’s vitals and then took a step backwards. “I’ve got to get these processed. Do you need anything before I leave?”

“Thanks, but I’m okay.” Scarlett held up her hand in greeting and Jemma nodded her head. She hesitated as though she wanted to say something more but then left the room. Scarlett wasn’t going to press her on the matter. She had enough on her mind. What was she being given now? For a few seconds she guessed what the clear liquid dripping into the tubing of her IV was before she gave up.

Ultimately it didn’t matter. 

No one had come to her with a _real_ solution. It was simply another grasp at straws by someone new. Should it have worried her that Agent Coulson had thought it necessary to bring in another doctor to help her? Probably, but Scarlett couldn’t possibly worry more than she already was. That would accomplish nothing. The situation was bad enough without over thinking.

Just as she was about to close her eyes there was a tapping on the door. She expected to see Fitz there as promised to ask about her journals but instead Mickey was standing nervously.

“You’re back faster than I expected.”

“Sorry to disappoint you.”

“How much trouble am I in today?”

“None, well, none more than usual.” Mickey tapped her fingers nervously against a large file in her arms, carefully guarded close to her chest.

“Then what do you need?”

“As promised, Natasha spoke to Nick Fury for you.” Mickey seemed nervous.

“ _And?_ ”

“They agree that something has to be done about…”

“MedCo.” Scarlett finished for her. “Stupid name, but they haven’t given us anything real to call them.”

“Yes, about them and about… _Scott_.” Mickey handed the file folder over to Scarlett who took it reluctantly. At the top of the file were the printed words Scott Aaronson. She flipped the file open and read the first few words. 

_Deceased._

Or at least he was supposed to be. Even the picture to the side didn’t seem familiar even if the name did. Her chest hurt and her throat suddenly felt tight and dry. The rest of the words on the page became a blur and Scarlett closed the file abruptly. All her problems began and ended with her ex-boyfriend.

He’d been a good man once. Scarlett knew deep down that she’d destroyed him. Even if she hadn’t realized it then she could look back and find the moments she’d watched it happen. 

“Scarlett?” 

When she looked up from the folder Mickey was only inches from her and seemed concerned.

“What?” Before Scarlett got an answer she turned away and coughed away the terrible taste in her mouth. The pain in her chest had gotten much worse and the room spun as she tried to clear the annoying cling in her throat.

“I’m calling someone.” Mickey stood and started toward the door.

“No, no!” Scarlett spoke between coughs and grabbed Mickey’s wrist to stop her in her tracks.

“The monitor thing is beeping.”

“Because I’m coughing. I’m fine.” Scarlett cleared her throat and leaned back in her chair.

“You _disappeared._ ” Mickey shifted her feet apprehensively. She’d been asking Scarlett if she was alright with having the file. Natasha had warned her that it might trigger a fit of anger but instead it was like Scarlett had vanished, at least mentally. “I was talking to you and you were just gone.”

“Happens sometimes.” Scarlett nodded and cleared her throat again. The cling just wouldn't go away. “Any chance I can get some water? I’d get it myself but… Simmons didn’t give me the mobile one.” Scarlett pointed to the IV bag hanging just above her.

“Of course.” Mickey reluctantly stepped out of the examination room and Scarlett breathed a sigh of relief. Nothing was wrong with her, at least that’s what she’d tell herself. She’d simply forgotten to breathe while she’d been reminiscing about Scott. She’d refused to think of him for the past few days but she knew she’d have to get past that eventually. When had she built up such a mental barrier? Avoidance. She had to stop avoiding what made her uncomfortable, especially if there was any chance she would be going back into the field.

“Someone called for some water?” Leo Fitz popped into the room holding a bottle of water with a smile on his face. “Seems you spooked Agent Pierce… she ran off and asked for me to bring this to you.”

“Such a tattletale…” 

“You are rather pale, did something happen?”

“Yes, I had a stroke.”

“Not funny you know, that’s serious stuff.”

“I coughed and everyone seems to be upset by coughing these days.”

“Well, a cough can be indicative of…”

“A cold? A tickle? Swallowing the wrong way?” Scarlett cleared her throat but guzzled the water that Leo handed to her. “I know what it can indicate, okay? I’m fine. Everyone here makes the mistake of thinking I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I know better than any of you what’s happening to me and if I say I’m okay then I mean it. S.H.I.E.L.D. didn’t find me barely alive in some hospital, you know. I approached _them._ This was _my_ idea.” Taking a deep breath, Scarlett could feel her blood pressure rising. She had to keep from getting so worked up. Being at S.H.I.E.L.D. had that effect on her these days.

“I didn’t mean to offend you.” Fitz began tentatively. He didn’t know Scarlett well enough to make a judgment call but she seemed angry. “We were simply concerned.”

“I get it.” Scarlett held up her hand to stop him. “It’s very sweet. But I’m okay.”

“You’re sure?” Fitz shifted his footing awkwardly.

“I am. The water helped. I know you guys look at the blood work and everyone sorta freaks out. It scares me too. But I know how I feel. I’m fine.” Finally Scarlett calmed down. This happened every damn time she came in for an appointment. The last few times she’d actually been too sick to argue, but this time she felt relatively great considering. “You seem like a nice guy Agent Fitz. You just walked in here at a bad time.”

“Well, there’s never really a good time it seems. I do have a few questions for you though.”

“That’s right, about my journals.” Scarlett nodded, relieved to talk about something _other_ than her health. Things had gotten so out of control she didn’t know how to talk about or even deal with it. The truth was that Scarlett was pretty scared. Usually when she was afraid of something she would conquer said thing by facing the fear head on. How would she do that with this? There was nothing to face except for her face in the mirror. And the fact was she didn’t look much different. “I offered them to S.H.I.E.L.D. only if they would make some good out of them. There’s a big list somewhere of things that no one is to use.” Scarlett glared. In her youth she had designed some diabolical machinery. As she’d aged, she’d known better than to consider creating more weapons.

People didn’t need any help killing each other. They did just fine on their own.

“Yes, but I’ve come up with an idea.” Fitz pulled up a chair and sat down comfortably next to Scarlett, excited to finally discuss something on a technical level. “You said that these enemies of yours have had access to your files over the years.”

“Regretfully yes.” Scarlett sighed. She’d always trusted her ex-boyfriend in the past. After he’d betrayed her she wasn’t sure what was real and what wasn’t anymore.

“If I could create a database of your ideas, searchable with the blueprints you’ve drawn then I can use collected data from all around the world to narrow down whose using your weapons. From there we could possibly narrow down locations and on top of that…”

“Properly assess the threat.” Scarlett nodded her head. She was tempted to do just that but what if S.H.I.E.L.D. went back on their promise? After she was dead all bets were off.

“Yes, exactly!” Fitz smiled brightly. “I’ve got the okay on it from those above my station but I need your approval.”

“Only if the database is destroyed after this is all over.” Scarlett’s face fell. “Along with the journals. I’ve already put the ideas I’m willing to share into Refuge’s database. The rest I negotiated with Nick Fury.” 

“Destroyed?” Fitz seemed disappointed. He’d been hoping to convince her to bring some of her ideas to fruition. They were fascinating and the work she’d done even ten years ago had intrigued him. “Doesn’t that seem like such a waste? The ideas in these journals… they could change modern warfare.”

“I don’t want that.” Scarlett held up her hand to stop him before he could argue with her further. She’d long since made up her mind. “Don’t get me wrong, things would have been different if you’d asked me a year ago what I wanted to do with these notes.”

“Then why is this different? Weren’t you just trying to explain to me how you’re doing just fine?”

“I don’t want anyone else to die because of me.” Scarlett sighed. Fitz stayed silent and while he was disappointed he couldn’t much argue with such sound logic. 

“Wait, wait! I have an idea.” Fitz brightened up with a snap of his fingers. “What if I create that database and while going through your notes and transferring them to digital form I can take simply… technical advances.”

“Like leave out the weapon but if you see a nifty new trigger we can keep it?” Scarlett cocked an eyebrow. She hadn’t considered that.

“Nothing that will increase the odds of anyone harming anyone else, but rather making lives simpler and helping technology progress.”

“For now, let’s keep this between us, Fitz.” Scarlett sighed and gave him a curt nod. Any… advances you’re interested in come through me. I have to approve it and Refuge gets part of the copyright.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it any other way.” Proud that he’d found a loophole in Scarlett’s conscience, Leo continued talking. His excitement was palpable and Scarlett couldn’t help but share in it even if only a little. Before she knew it her time was up and Jemma was back to remove her IV. Afterward her vitals were taken again, she was asked a thousand questions about how she felt and then was ultimately released. 

Clutching the file under her arm, Scarlett held it close, name hidden as best as she could. The weather was a gloomy gray outside but the rain still held back. She chatted for a few minutes in the hallway with Mickey who had left instructions for a driver to pick Scarlett up and return her to Refuge for the day.

Much to Scarlett’s relief, the steps outside the S.H.I.E.L.D. building were abandoned. The air was warm and threatened rain. Most people walking past on the sidewalk held a precautionary umbrella. The black town car waited for her at the end of the expansive sidewalk, past the row of flags that stood in front of the building.

“Miss Damien! Miss Damien, may I have a moment of your time?” 

Scarlett didn’t stop walking but did grumble in irritation.

“Miss Hendricks I am beginning to worry about your lack of a social life.” Scarlett addressed the petite reporter without looking at her.

“I’m working Miss Damien.”

“Sure, sure.”

“What was your secret meeting with S.H.I.E.L.D. about? Does this have something to do with your past perhaps?”

“There is no secret meeting.” Scarlett laughed as the driver got out of the car and walked around to open the door for her.

“Then where is my competition?” Dianne argued with a smile.

“It’s no secret I’m not a fan of the press, Miss Hendricks. I avoid you whenever possible.”

“You didn’t answer my questions. What was your secret…”

“It’s not a secret just like the last ten times I came here it wasn’t a secret. Just like the last three dinners I’ve had with Nathan weren’t dates. I’m working on a business deal, just like I always am. It's always business. You people are always searching for something that isn't there.”

“Is that what the file is for? A business deal?”

“As a matter of fact it’s filled with contracts.” Scarlett lied through her teeth. She’d always been a good liar. Dianne’s eyes flitted toward the supposed contracts and then back to Scarlett who shifted the folder in her arms and held it against her chest. “Is there anything else?”

“Yes, actually! I’ve heard that you’re considering taking a deal with Tony Stark. Is there any truth to that?” 

“That is the first good question you’ve asked in a long time.” Scarlett placed her hand on the open door of the car while the driver stood patiently and silently nearby. “I don’t have an answer for anyone yet, not even Tony Stark but yes I am considering his offer very seriously. It would be an honor to work with such a brilliant mind but Malibu is quite the trek to do some work when I have plenty to do here in Boston.”

“So, what you’re telling me is that you haven’t made a decision.”

“That’s exactly what I told Stark and exactly what I’m telling you. Now can I go?” Scarlett tapped the door and Dianne sat there, contemplating for a moment whether or not to let her leave without more questions. She rather liked Scarlett. While the newbie celebrity generally blew off the press she had always made the time for Dianne and her little underground paper. Dianne considered it to be one of the most reputable news outlets available. They never printed what wasn’t true! Those days, that wasn’t very popular amongst most of the media. No one was buying the truth.

“I’ll ask one more time. What is it with S.H.I.E.L.D? What do you do here?” Dianne seemed oddly concerned. Scarlett tilted her head curiously.

“Look, I don’t mind giving you the story most of the time. You’re a good reporter, Miss Hendricks. I like the stories you print and most of them are credible and right on the money. But this… this is something you stay out of. There’s nothing going on here. Sometimes what you see is really what you get. This was just… a business meeting with S.H.I.E.L.D. These government types? They like to be real secretive. Makes them feel special or something.” Scarlett waved her hand toward the building. “Don’t mess with S.H.I.E.L.D. They’ll bury you and your little paper.”

“Are they burying _you?_ ” Dianne glanced at the folder she held again and looked back to Scarlett, alarm thick in her gaze.

“No.” Scarlett smiled just enough then cleared her throat and spoke louder. “I’ve given you more time today than any of the media outlets this week that _paid_ for my time so until we meet again. Miss Hendricks.” Scarlett nodded her head politely and got into the car.

Dianne brushed her short straight hair away from her face as the wind blew it to block her vision. At least her visit hadn't been completely fruitless. She’d caught a name on the top of that folder. 

Scott Aaronson. 

It could have been a contract, but Dianne had the distinct feeling it was not.


	14. Flies and Spiders

“You shouldn’t be here.” Natasha Romanoff waited on the rooftop of an old apartment building in Brooklyn. It had been over twenty four hours since the _incident_ in the parking garage in Boston and she’d been so busy she’d barely slept. No one could know that by looking at her.

The Black Widow didn’t need sleep, not when more important things required her attention. These days, sleep was unworthy of her time. Between the attack near the wharf, the murders in Calcutta, and Scarlett’s deterioration she wasn’t sure she _could_ sleep even if she tried. Scarlett had been friends with Natasha for years and while she'd tried to admit it didn't bother her, it absolutely did. 

Well, maybe they weren't friends. Not _really_.

Then again they were more than acquaintances too.

It was complicated.

The two women had met long ago on a job in western Asia. Both had been hired by the same company to complete a seemingly impossible task. In the end they'd been double crossed by their employers. They’d fought against one another tooth and nail, thinking the other had been hired to intercept their mission by a rival. Each had proven to be clever adversary and battle had nearly killed them both. Eventually Scarlett put down her gun and forced Natasha to listen to her theory. They were both working for the same person. If she hadn’t Natasha wasn’t sure which one of them would have won. Thanks to Scarlett, they'd realized they'd ultimately been manipulated. They turned the tables on their dirty employers and in celebration had gone out for a drink.

From there they’d been allies at the very least. 

Whenever the other needed help they’d be there. There had been more than one drunken night that was happily blurred in Natasha's memory. So maybe they _were_ friends. Why else would it upset her so much? 

Scarlett had always been reliable and ready for a good time. Most of The Black Widow's memories of the woman were fond ones. After Natasha had joined S.H.I.E.L.D. she’d lost touch with Scarlett but that had been by design. Part of her had always wanted to reach out and recruit her old acquaintance but she’d avoided it, unsure why. People in their line of work only went straight for two reasons: desperation or necessity. Natasha didn't want to be the person who'd pushed Scarlett one way or the other. She knew if the time ever came, Scarlett would find her. Even still, Natasha had done what she'd could to keep an eye out for Scarlett. That hadn't always been an easy task, since Scarlett usually operated under the radar.

This was not the sort of desperation that Natasha had hoped would drive Scarlett to turn her life around. It was amazing just how much Natasha had found herself attached to people without meaning to be. For years she’d needed no one. Now as she watched her friend in such dire straits she was experiencing feelings she’d never dealt with before. Yes, she had a few people she regarded as friends now, but they were few and far between. It wasn't like she hadn't dealt with death before, but death had never bothered her. Death was a part of life. But it was too soon for Scarlett. Far too soon.

Natasha was _afraid_. Fear had never been part of her vocabulary.

“What can I say? I’m a sucker for secret rooftop meetings.” Clint Barton chuckled but receive any response from the assassin, not even a smile. His blond hair was a little too long for his liking and he’d developed the tiniest scruff of a beard but it looked more like dirt smudged on his face. Beards always looked funny on him. Either he looked homeless or dirty, sometimes both. He was wearing an unseasonably warm coat with the collar flipped up to obscure his face. “Besides, I missed the city.”

“You know what I mean. Don't get all... _you._ This better be important."

“I had to talk to you.” Clint sat on the edge of the building and rubbed his fingers over the scruff self consciously. “I saw the papers.”

“Of course you did.” Natasha’s gaze flitted to Clint and then into the distance. She really was a sucker for meeting in the shadows and Clint knew it. She could see everything from the rooftops of the high rise buildings. No one could possibly be hidden nearby spying on her. The environment was entirely in her control. “You weren’t due to check in for another week. This could have waited.”

“No, it couldn’t.” Clint shook his head. The last six weeks for Clint Barton had been very trying. He’d changed his identity, forged a new life, and gotten himself hired to work with a company that was suspected to work very closely with MedCo. They even could have _been_ MedCo. Ever since Scarlett had come to S.H.I.E.L.D. they'd had agents all over the world searching for the company at its source. Several credible resources had led them to a security company operating in the Mid-West. So Clint had gotten a job amongst the security officers. His considerable experience in security with the help of a forged résumé had sent him flying into the ranks.

It had turned out that S.H.I.E.L.D. intelligence had been more than accurate. Shortly after being hired by the security company, he'd been recommended for a high level operation. Then he'd been approached about working under the table if he was willing to bend his morals. First he'd played hard to get but then he'd agreed to the work for the extra money. As far as MedCo knew, his daughter was dying of cancer in Colorado and he'd taken the job with the security company to make extra money to save her. 

Now that Scarlett had returned to the United States so had MedCo and its owners. Clint had even caught sight of them a few times and managed to steal a few discreet pictures. He’d worked his way up the security ladder and kept his nose clean. Now he was finally able to do some snooping and sit outside of rooms where semi-important conversations had taken place. It wasn’t enough, but undercover work was rarely easy and took more time than they’d had available. Clint had volunteered for the job after he’d seen how upset Natasha had been by the situation. The two went way back. He'd do anything for her. If Natasha thought that Scarlett was worthy of their help, so did he without question.

“What’s so important you’d risk blowing your cover to tell me?” Natasha folded her arms over her chest in disapproval. Despite her annoyance with him it was good to see Clint. He was a comforting face though it was something she’d never outwardly admit. In a way, she thought he knew. But if he had shown up just to check in on her she was going to smack his familiar face.

“Friday night I got called in for an emergency shift. There was a huge caravan that came by. No idea what was in it but my guess is it has something to do with our guy.”

“Aaronson?” Natasha clarified.

“I think he’s on the move.” Clint felt his stomach turn. By all accounts Scott _had_ been dead. 

Scarlett had killed him.

Yet there was concrete proof that he was alive and out for blood.

“He’s here? In the U.S?” Natasha took a step closer, intrigued.

“Yes, I’m positive he is.” Clint cleared his throat. “I overheard orders. They’re expanding their reach. Most of their operations are overseas. From what I gather they were very concerned with their reputation reaching forces in America to combat them. Now it seems they're more reckless. They're desperate.”

“That’s not good.” Natasha almost asked Clint to come in. If anyone even suspected he would double cross them that would be the end of him. Sure, the skilled archer and swordsman could handle his own but MedCo had a network of terrorists working with them. For as skilled as he was, as any of them were, there was only so much they could do against such force.

“There’s an official hit on Scarlett and anyone she was close with.” Clint exhaled deeply and kept his eye on Natasha. "Not just amongst the company, but to anyone who will bite on the market."

“We guessed that would happen. That’s why we put her in the public eye. It keeps people like us from taking the contract.”

“Did you think that would stop them forever?”

“I think it will delay them.” Natasha nodded affirmatively but Clint didn’t seem so sure.

“You’re on the list.”

“The list?”

“The hit list.”

“I’m not surprised by that either." She nodded. "Let them try."

“So is Julianna.” Clint winced and Natasha grimaced.

“Jinx? Why Jinx? She's listed as an employee of Refuge. We assumed they would know the company was a cover and leave the employees be.”

“They know she’s from S.H.I.E.L.D. Any S.H.I.E.L.D. agents that associate with Scarlett are on the list. Right behind family and old friends.”

“Good thing for Scarlett most of her old friends can handle themselves.” Natasha made a mental note to send guards to those she knew Scarlett had made herself familiar with in the past. A few of them would be fine but there were scientists she’d worked with that could become targets simply because of jobs they’d been a part of. “I don’t know anything about her family. To be honest I thought they’d died a long time ago. She's never brought them up.”

“I guess there must be some relatives somewhere.” Clint shook his head and cleared his throat. “About Julianna…”

“I’ll make sure she’s taken care of, Clint. Jinx is stronger than we give her credit for. Besides, she’s with Scarlett or Mickey half the time so she should be okay.”

“Don’t let anything happen to her. She’s not like us.”

“I know that.” Natasha couldn’t help but smile. As elite a warrior Clint had become over the years he still had a heart of gold, even if he didn’t always properly express it.

“I shouldn’t have this.” Clint reached into his pocket and withdrew a small pen drive. Taking Natasha’s hand he placed it in her palm and then curled her fingers around it.

“What the hell did you do, Clint?” She gave him the most disapproving glare he had ever seen.

“I’ve been gradually sneaking files whenever I see a computer unguarded. Mostly science stuff. You know, _Scarlett_ stuff.” Clint nodded though he didn’t seem to be bearing good news, judging by his tone. “They’re experimenting on people, Nat. They’ve been doing it for years. The atrocities these people have committed it’s… unbelievable. I've seen plenty of terrible things but this is a new level of horrific.”

“I know.” Natasha stared at her clenched fist before placing the drive securely in her pocket. “Any medical history on any other patients who may exhibit similar symptoms? Besides the obvious?”

“Tons of experiments. Dating back decades. Apparently they specialize in biological weaponry.”

“Anything similar to Scarlett?” Natasha was eager for good news but Clint was avoiding the subject now. He nodded his head to indicate there was. “ _And?_ ”

“Recently things have gotten weird. People are disappearing from the inside. A couple low level guys never showed up one day and when I made a report it was expunged. Then I asked about it, because I feigned being interested in punishment. They told me they were taken to Basement Level 3. I’m not allowed down there. No one is except for the science guys… which there are a lot of. Some of them are hacks and some of them are mad. None of them are good people.” Clint frowned. "It's like they scoured the world for all the madmen with a degree."

“What does that have to do with Scarlett?”

“They’re trying to recreate the drug Scott used on Scarlett. At least that’s what I guessed from what I found. Medical jargon still goes over my head no matter how many times you explain it.”

“Recreate it? If they made it to begin with then why would they need to do that? Is it possible it wasn’t registered? Was Scott working under their noses? Maybe that’s why he’s still under their thumb. Shouldn’t he be infected too?”

"Technically he is infected but apparently it's reacting differently between the two of them."

"Well that's obvious, probably has something to do with the bullet she put in his head, I guess."

"They're saying it's more than that."

"I still don't understand."

"They don't have it…"

"Why would they want to recreate something that's just killing valuable people?"

“She should be _dead._ ” Clint clarified, speaking over Natasha as she spouted theories. Finally she silenced and for a split second Clint saw sorrow in her usually deep blue eyes. “Everything I read says she should be dead. Scarlett shouldn’t be breathing. She shouldn’t have made it two weeks after that big a dose of what they’re cooking up. From what I read, neither should Scott. But whatever happened to Scarlett... it's what they're interested in. She's still alive. That's important to them. They'll do anything to find out why.” 

“I can’t let that happen.” Natasha nodded affirmatively. She'd stopped listening after the word dead. Natasha wasn't one to give up but death was the one thing she couldn't fight. Clint shoved his hands in his pockets and then turned away.

“What if we _can’t_ stop it? If they can't then how the hell can we expect to? They created this and even _they're_ perplexed.”

“It’s not an option, Clint.”

“I know.” He nodded and took a deep breath. “Each of the experiments, from what I can tell, have ended in death. They’re not giving up but they’re getting desperate… and crazy.”

“Maybe it’s time you come in with me. You don’t have to go back there.” Natasha offered. As much as she wanted to save Scarlett, she knew Scarlett would want to save Clint.

“No, I can still do some good here. They’re too preoccupied to notice me right now.” Clint offered a weak smile. “One of them has gone missing, by the way.”

“One of who? As usual you’re being too vague.”

“Part of getting used to being undercover I guess.” Clint chuckled. “One of the three founders. You know… the schmucks who put this organization together in the first place. Scarlett told us about them when she came to S.H.I.E.L.D. originally.”

“And one of them is missing?”

“I think they turned on him.” Clint grimaced. “I could be wrong but for some reason I get the feeling they sent him… to the basement. It's why they're more reckless now, bolder. He was holding them back, keeping them in line.” 

“Which one of the three. Scarlett had names for them… but they were silly nicknames.”

“Glasses.” Clint smiled a little. “His real name is Erick Reno. He was in charge of us for awhile but he’s recently been replaced by this tight lipped woman, Marcia Edmonton. She’s a lot meaner than he was. He had a hot temper but he was easily manipulated. That’s probably how he got involved in this in the first place. My guess is he was in it for the money."

“Disgusting.” Natasha curled her lip and then sighed. “Keep digging. But stay safe.”

“Of course. I’ll be in touch next week in the usual way.”

"Any chance Marcia Edmonton is the uptight bitch Scarlett described?"

"I'd bet money on it."

“I'll let Fury know. No more cryptic meetings unless it’s an emergency.” Natasha felt a surge of relief after seeing Clint. The news he brought was no more devastating than the situation currently was. Sure, there was an official threat to their lives now but they had already guessed there was an element of risk. “Is that it?”

“Yeah, just about.” Clint knew he should leave but he lingered. The breeze was warm and muggy, but not so much that it was uncomfortable. There was just the slightest hint of a chill from the ocean. It smelled like home, at least to Clint.

“What is it, Clint?”

“Did you tell her about her contact?” Clint was so out of the loop with reality it hurt sometimes. He was allowed minimal contact with only Natasha and Nick Fury. While he hadn’t been a friend of Scarlett’s for very long he was close with Natasha and had become emotionally attached to the case at once.

“I did.”

“How’d she take it?”

“Not well.” 

“I was worried about that.”

“Me too.” Natasha closed her eyes and waited for Clint to get to his point. 

“Do you think she’s gonna run?”

“Run?” Natasha peeked one eye open and then smiled. “What, are you suddenly a professional on the way Scarlett behaves? You’ve only known her for a short time, Clint.”

“She seems the type to want to take matters into her own hands. If she realizes that her friends are dying because of her I can’t imagine she’d sit idly by. She reminds me of someone I'm pretty close to.”

“She has no choice.”

“Would you sit and watch if the tables were turned?” Clint scolded. He very much sympathized with Scarlett. He wondered why Natasha couldn’t seem to. She was too close to her, perhaps. Worry overshadowed sympathy. Natasha’s usually stern features softened and she nodded her head.

“I’d do anything I had to do.”

“That’s what I’m worried about. She wants to protect her friends. You, mostly, I think.”

“Don’t worry, Clint. Scarlett’s in good hands. We’ve got an eye on her and she’s too smart to throw her only chance away. They won’t kill her if they get her, they’ll… _ruin_ her.” Natasha knew that there were fates far worse than death. She’d suffered through a few of them in her lifetime and she knew her friends had too. Scarlett wouldn’t come back from what MedCo and Scott wanted to do to her. Recovery would be impossible.

Natasha wasn’t about to let that happen.

“You mean _you_ have your eye on her.”

“You know I do.”

“Good.” Clint stepped toward the door to the roof. “One more thing, Nat.”

“What’s that?”

“It’s good to see you.” He offered a weak smile before stepping through the door and disappearing out of sight. Natasha watched the door long after he was gone and then brushed her fingers over the drive in her pocket. They were playing the most dangerous game and unfortunately they were the ones being hunted.


	15. Rumor

"How long before I can have the labs set up in the desert for testing?" Tony tapped his fingers on his coffee table as he flipped through files in the air in front of him. The past few days had been a roller coaster. He'd finally gathered the courage to approach his company from the standpoint of a CEO again. Now that he'd opened the floodgates he was trudging through a sea of dodged responsibilities and miscommunications.

He was lucky that Pepper was as skilled a businesswoman as she was quite frankly. But there had been certain things that he hadn't warned her about how to handle and had become quite the tangled mess. Particularly with the energy project. There were parts of Stark Industries that were still being torn down. Weapons manufacturing plants had to be repurposed and old allies had to be included as to not sever ties and burn bridges. Tony had spent the last 48 hours on the phone, planning future dinners and mending severed fences.

Eventually he'd grown weary of the basement he'd spent the past few months in. He needed change and fresh air. For awhile he'd sat on the deck outside, blasted some music while he trudged through paperwork. Pepper came and went as usual and only interacted with him when she needed something. There were a few times he'd been tempted to ask her to sit with him and sort out a few of the business things she'd been in charge of but he'd shied away from it. It would surely lead to another fight and it seemed the two of them had been avoiding the inevitable. Or at least, Tony liked to think that was the case. He had no idea what was going on in Pepper's head these days.

After it had begun to rain, Tony made his way inside and had stayed there even the next day. His home was finally starting to feel like _his_ again. For awhile he'd felt trapped and he hadn't realized that until he'd finally left the damn basement! It wasn't anyone's fault but his own, he knew that, but regardless it felt nice to regain a bit of his freedom. Maybe he should have felt silly to consider moving into his living room an accomplishment but he _did_. Jarvis had agreed that it had been something worthy of praise and had even offered to get him a drink to celebrate the occasion.

Since then, Tony had continued to sort out the chaos that had become Stark Industries. If he was going to make a big business deal with Refuge then he needed things to be as orderly as possible. He didn't want Scarlett to think he'd completely crumbled under the weight of his anxiety. Not that he'd felt judged by her, not at all. Maybe he wanted to impress her with how together things were. If nothing else, Tony most definitely wanted her to feel welcome at Stark Industries. If she was going to come by Malibu and get the lay of the land then he was going to do his best to make it seem as enticing as possible. Once he set his mind to something, and really set his mind to it, there was no stopping Tony Stark. 

He wasn't sure why he needed to work with Refuge. Maybe it was because it was the first thing that had gotten him out of his house in months. Or maybe it was because the connection he could feel with Scarlett. Whatever it was, he wanted to make it happen. Tony was used to getting what he wanted and while he'd been unsure of what he'd wanted for the months past, the fog was finally lifting. It wasn't that he was less terrified just that he no longer felt so crippled by that fear. Tony was a fighter and somewhere along the line he'd forgotten just how strong he could be.

"Jarvis, did you hear something?" Tony lifted his head and the music died down as he spoke as if to give him a better listen.

"Tony?" Pepper was calling to him from somewhere inside the house. "Tony, where are you? We need to talk."

"Maybe I should go back downstairs." Tony whispered and Jarvis made a big frowning face in the air in front of him. Waving it away, Tony cleared his throat and spoke louder. "In here, Pepper."

"Look at this." Pepper was holding a magazine and moving it so much that Tony couldn't see the cover of it clearly. "Look, I told you she was trouble! You didn't believe me but here, right here!" Pepper hadn't been avoiding Tony for the reasons that he'd suspected. Instead she'd been trying to dig up dirt on Refuge so she could try to talk him out of the impending business deal. She'd been asked by every form of media what was going on with the partnership and had no answers to give. Instead she had to tell them to ask Tony, to ask Scarlett, because she had no say on the matter. It took every shred of her self control not to say just what she _really_ thought of the situation.

"It's blurry, can you please stand still? I can't read it while you're flailing with it. Are you trying to show it to me or hit me with it? I can't tell." Tony stood and Pepper held out the gossip magazine for him to read. Tony took it from her hands and at once felt alarmed. There was a picture of Scarlett stepping out of a black car looking particularly worse for wear. The picture quality was so poor, however, that it was hard to tell whether or not it was the lighting or if it had been doctored. The headline alluded to the fact that Scarlett had been admitted for an overdose of some kind and had her stomach pumped.

"She collapsed a few nights ago and had to be rushed to some medical facility in Boston. One of the nurses there reported to the paper after she left! This is the picture she took with her phone. She's an _addict_ , Tony! An addict and a bad influence! You don't need that right now." Pepper allowed Tony to take the magazine and watched as he flipped through the pages. "The last thing Stark Industries needs is that kind of reputation hanging on it. We just got through yours, didn't we? This company has taken enough hits."

"Look, it's just what these papers do, you know that! There's no confirmed anything, just conjecture from a source they can't even properly quote. There are even typos, Pepper." Tony flipped open the article and pointed to the first paragraph. "They used to do it to me all the time."

"I'm giving you a real reason not to work with her and it's still not enough." Pepper scowled. "You said that I had no good reason so I found reasons!"

"This isn't a _real_ reason, Pepper."

"How is that not a real reason?"

"You know how those reporters are! They do that crap all the time! They did it to me for years! Tabloid gossip is just that."

"They weren't always wrong either, Tony."

"But they always blew it out of proportion when it had a grain of truth hidden in the story. I couldn't possibly have a cold or there was a chance I was on my death bed! Even now, look at what this very same paper says about _me_ in this article." Tony flipped the pages open and pointed to a chunk of text. "They theorize I was in rehab! Rehab Pepper? That's crazy!"

"Look, something obviously happened to prompt the story and I know that! I know that these papers take the stories to the extreme but somewhere there's always a glimmer of the truth. You know that as well as I do. If it isn't drugs, it's something else. For all you know she's doing something illegal. You're just willing to jump right into bed with this woman without doing any of the research."

"First of all, you know just how much research I do before getting into bed with people and that's none." Tony attempted a joke but Pepper's eye twitched so he quickly abandoned the attempt. "I did the research. Trust me, I've done more research than I usually do for this kind of thing. Refuge is a solid company and Scarlett is a solid colleague. You have to trust me on this one. Please." Tony didn't ask much from Pepper these days. If he could appeal to that part of her that he was sure was still in there somewhere maybe they stood a chance. Right now Pepper was hurt. It was different with their relationship the way it was. If maybe, just maybe, they could slowly transition back to being friends it wouldn't be such a nightmare. Tony had high hopes even though there was no evidence to support friendship was still an option.

"Trust you?" Pepper shook her head and for a moment considered it. But that bitterness still clung inside of her. 

"That's all I'm asking."

"This isn't about trust, Tony."

"How isn't it about trust?" Tony scowled. "Of course it's about trust! You don't trust me to run my own company, you don't trust me to do anything anymore. While we're being honest here, why don't we really get to the point of this. You're jealous. You don't want me working with her because you're _jealous._ "

"Excuse me?"

"I don't know why you're jealous. Whether it's because of how she looks, all the attention she gets, or the fact that you didn't think to approach Refuge first, you're jealous." Tony rolled his eyes. "So don't feed me this garbage about trying to do what's best for my company."

"She's not good for Stark Industries." Pepper's voice cracked and Tony knew he hit the nail on the head. "And she's most certainly not good for you."

"And what would you know about what's good for me? Because I think I'm doing loads better than I was even a week ago so tell me how this isn't good for me."

"You're still not sleeping, are you? You get like this when you don't sleep. Your attitude is just..." Pepper groaned in frustration as if to express exactly what it was.

"No, I didn't sleep but you know why I didn't sleep?" Tony waited for her to respond but she just stood there. She racked her mind but couldn't think of any other reason than that it was just the way Tony was these days. "That's right, you don't care. You never cared. I tried to tell you and you didn't care. So don't tell me what's good for me when you don't _care_."

"I do care, Tony! I absolutely care! What am I supposed to not sleep because you can't? One of us has to be functioning to run Stark Industries."

"I haven't been sleeping and I'm doing just fine." Tony turned away from her and set down the magazine on the coffee table, on top of a pile of files that he'd had to dig out of storage. Pepper stared at Tony as he went about his work. He was shaking. Or was she just hallucinating? She'd never seen Tony as mad as he'd been over the past few days. Usually he cracked jokes or ignored the problem until he could fix it on his own. Ever since he'd gone out with Rhodey and become consumed with Refuge he'd been different. 

And then he'd accused her of _not_ caring? How dare he? He'd been her best friend at one point! When she'd thought he'd died in the Middle East it had torn her apart. She'd lost her friend and confidant! The more she thought about it the more she realized that had changed. Not either of them but their relationship. Maybe he _was_ right. 

She hadn't cared.

Guilt washed over her as she realized that he'd been reaching out to her and she had pushed him away. Maybe he'd needed her and she hadn't seen it. He'd definitely needed her but she'd been so consumed with trying to keep Stark Industries and her life afloat, that she'd forgotten the man who had everything might need a hand getting back on his feet. Was she really willing to help pick him back up? 

No. Not as his girlfriend she wasn't. Pepper couldn't stand the idea of having to stay up all night to cater to fears he wouldn't even share with her. Pepper couldn't bring herself to condone the violence that came with the Iron Man weapons. It was one thing when she had to clean up his messes in a professional setting but a completely different one when it became personal. Where was the line between work and life? There was none anymore. It had all become work.

"I'm not concerned about Scarlett being an addict." Tony pointed to the magazine when he realized Pepper wasn't leaving but she also didn't have anything to say. "The media did it to me for years. I'm a good judge of character, Pepper. If I sense that something's amiss with her I won't hesitate to put the axe on this deal. You don't have to trust me, okay? But you do have to listen to me. I'm CEO of Stark Industries and what I say goes."

Pepper opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted.

"Miss Potts? Mr. Hogan has arrived to pick you up for your afternoon meeting." Jarvis spoke politely and sure enough, only moments later, Happy Hogan stepped into the room. He'd put on a bit of weight since Tony had last seen him but overall he seemed in good spirits.

"Hey, Pepper I stopped by that place you like and picked up some cronuts..." He stopped when he saw Tony also in the living room and for once didn't know what to say. He didn't even have a greeting for him.

"Hogan." Tony nodded at his old driver and could have sworn the man looked away from him. A knot tied right in the middle of Tony's stomach.

"Tony, I haven't seen you in a long time... you, uh... doing okay?"

"Just great." Tony nodded toward Pepper. "Go. I know you want to." Tony didn't look back at either one of them again. He didn't want to. Was _he_ jealous? Not of Happy, he was sure. He was just jealous that both of his friends had basically abandoned him. Maybe it was unfounded or maybe it wasn't. Right now Tony didn't care. He had other things to worry about.

"Are you okay?" Happy mouthed and nodded toward Tony. Pepper was tempted to stay behind and watched as Tony flipped through digital files in the air in front of him but then shook her head and offered him a smile. Happy looked to Tony then reached for Pepper's hand with a comforting squeeze. "Come on, we're going to be late."

"You're right." Pepper didn't say another word to Tony but instead kept her hand in Happy's and walked out of the Malibu Mansion. Tony waited until he heard the sound of the door and even then waited until several moments had passed.

"Jarvis, are they gone?"

"Yes, Mr. Hogan's car has left the premises." Jarvis sounded hesitant. Tony wondered sometimes what the robot's opinion was on the whole situation. But he never asked and Jarvis never said a word. It was probably for the best. Tony didn't need another person to argue with. He didn't have anyone left in his corner, it seemed. He'd alienated himself from those who had mattered most.

That sadness was creeping in on him again. Maybe he should go downstairs and try to sort out his thoughts while working on his suits. It made him feel less lonely to be down there. He sat down on the couch with a heavy sigh and slumped low so he lay nearly flat with the exception of his legs hanging off the edge. Lazily he groped for the files on the coffee table and instead he picked up the magazine he'd thrown on top of it. 

Slowly he opened the pages and flipped through it again. There were a few stories about tumultuous celebrity relationships, body augmentations, and supposed revealed secrets of the rich and famous. Tony both understood and didn't understand that kind of media. How boring an ordinary person's life must be to find the need to live vicariously through people they likely would never get the chance to meet. 

He stopped when he got to the story about Scarlett and read the article more thoroughly. There were a few pictures that looked like they'd been taken with a poor quality cell phone camera but they offered him little to no insight. Apparently there had been no report to the police or any official medical records left behind. It was likely a bullshit story.

_Likely._

As Pepper said, these stories were usually formed from a very small grain of truth. He did _not_ think Scarlett was a functioning drug addict. 

Tony sat up, which took far more effort than he expected from such an odd position and then closed the magazine and placed it on his lap. Hands on top of it, a laser grid keyboard glowed beneath his fingers allowing him to type freely. He could summon it on almost any flat surface in his home. The coffee table itself would become a screen if he really wanted it to. Right now, this would do.

He searched for the article in the very magazine he tapped away on and soon he found many in relation to it. It seemed every news media outlet, credible and less than credible had a similar story. There had been reports that Scarlett had mysteriously fallen ill and had been seen the day after looking rather under the weather. No statements had been released by Scarlett or her PR agents. 

Tony scowled. 

No response meant one of two things. Either there was so little validity to the claim it was left to fizzle out on its own. _Or_ , and this was what alarmed Tony, they were avoiding giving any validity to the claim because something _did_ happen. 

Suddenly Tony needed to know what happened that night. There was no explaining why, he just did.

He checked the dates again.

Monday. 

Wasn't that the night he'd talked to her all night long on the phone? Like some high school kid infatuated with a crush? He'd tried to tell himself it wasn't like that but somehow it still _felt_ like that. 

Had that been why she'd been awake when he called her at such an ungodly hour? His stomach turned. If she had been sick why hadn't she mentioned it? Hospitalization seemed like a pretty significant thing to mention. Then again, she barely knew him so what reason did she really have to tell him? Tapping his finger repeatedly on the magazine, Tony ran his tongue over his teeth and made an obnoxious noise between them.

"I should stop looking."

"Absolutely." Jarvis responded.

"I wasn't looking for validation."

"Well someone should."

"Not _you._ "

"You're obsessing."

"What else is new?" Tony scoffed and then continued his search against Jarvis' recommendation. An hour later and at last Tony leaned back to view his work. In front of him were a dozen stories all covering the same topic: Scarlett's mysterious collapse. Most of the theories discussed were absolutely ridiculous. He couldn't help but be reminded of his own press. Currently the media thought something terrible had happened to him too.

Then again, there was some truth to that. Tony had gone through a trauma. He wasn't sure _how_ true it was, in fact he was still figuring it out. Still, the ideas that reporters came up with were sometimes very amusing. While many stories had scared the hell out of him, a few of them had been so ridiculous Tony had gotten a good laugh. 

"Are you trying to narrow down the cause, sir?"

"Most of this doesn't make any sense." Tony shook his head and pointed to one in particular that had made him laugh out loud several times. "Pregnant? Really? A woman that smart doesn't get knocked up on accident. I met her. She was drinking, she's not pregnant." 

"Shall we discard it sir?" Jarvis tempted Tony with a set of virtual bowling pins at the far end of the room.

"Absolutely." Tony chuckled, crumbled up the digital article and then tossed it across the room. With a clatter each pin fell over and the word "strike" floated in the air in various flashing colors. "Still got it!"

"Bravo, sir."

"Thank you. Reset the pins, Jarvis, there's a lot of crap to go through!" Tony laughed and picked up another paper. "Fatigue, my ass. I saw her that afternoon she was fine. Then she was on the phone with me until you basically tucked me in."

"You slept like a baby, sir."

"I don't know how I feel about you putting it like that..."

"That's too bad."

"I missed your sarcasm, Jarvis."

"And I yours, sir."

"Alright, so we've got drug abuse which Pepper really clung onto, right? She didn't even know when _I_ was out of my head so we can't really trust her judgment."

"It isn't an unreasonable assumption. There are many high powered business men and women who are completely functioning addicts."

"This is not functioning." Tony pulled the article out of the air in front of him. "We're not even sure she actually collapsed."

"And yet here we are investigating it like she is. The odds that this many news sources would be this ill informed is very slim. Something happened, we just don't know what."

"You're right." Tony rolled the virtual article again and grimaced as half the pins clattered aside. "7-10 split. Just my luck."

"We're running out of options, sir."

"What about this one?" Tony pulled up the small article of the underground newspaper. It wasn't very reputed, but it had a cult following. From what Tony could tell it wasn't filled with the same tabloid garbage the other magazines force fed to the public. There were actual _stories_. "Scarlett Damien greets me on the steps of the S.H.I.E.L.D. building and assures me once again that there is nothing wrong with her. I've asked her on multiple occasions what she does at those meetings but with her charm she manages to subvert my attention. This time is no different. Even as weary as she seems on this particular gray Boston day, she manages to charm a smile out of me and convince me that she's doing just fine."

Tony browsed through the article. It was well written and interesting, but Tony wasn't entirely convinced this proved anything was wrong with Scarlett.

"It is undeniable that there are reports of a collapse or a medical incident of some kind the day prior but she isn't willing to discuss it and I am not dumb enough to ask. Instead I look and I see a woman who is struggling with something. In theory I think that she's retrieving a treatment at this S.H.I.E.L.D. facility for something she will not reveal to the public. Either that or something from her notorious and unknown past has caught up with her."

"Well, that's all very interesting." Jarvis seemed to be considering the story. "Still no facts and all conjecture."

"But she seems well informed and smart." Tony continued reading the article to himself until it was over with. "Seems she writes about Scarlett quite frequently. I'm mentioned in here too. She asked about the impending deal and Scarlett said she's seriously considering it but didn't have an answer which... is true. At least the certainties reported by this woman are factual."

"So this one won't be finishing up our little round of bowling, then?"

"I'm afraid not. What's the reporter's name?"

"A Mrs. Dianne Hendricks, it seems."

"Get her information. Maybe she'll be willing to talk to me."

"I'm going to advise against this."

"Why?"

"Don't you think Miss Damien deserves some level of privacy? If she wants to tell you what happened then I imagine she will. You said it yourself, she barely knows you. You're obsessing, sir. If you don't want to drive away this deal with Refuge, I recommend you push this to the back of your mind."

"Yeah, okay, _that's_ going to happen." Tony grimaced and sat back down on the couch. He tucked the article away for the future and did follow Jarvis' advice despite his objections. Jarvis was right. Tony was obsessing. He was nosy. Also he was weirdly worried. Or at least he thought he was worried.

Why was he worried? 

Tony didn't know. 

"Wasn't I doing something before this all started?"

"Yes, sir. You were working."

"Oh, right. I guess I should keep doing that." Tony snapped his fingers and the screens popped to life one by one in front of him. He would trudge through more work for Stark Industries, but his mind was never truly on point after that. One way or another, Tony would get to the bottom of the story even if it meant having to ask Scarlett what was going on. Only now he would wait until he was sure she would be working with him before he dug too deeply.


	16. Tragedy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I hope people are still reading <3 I'm working really hard to post every week again! Enjoy!

Friday came as it always did; after a blur of a long week. Longer than usual for Scarlett. Refuge had been on the business news channels nearly every day to report how the company was progressing since it went public. Each day that week had been busy and stressful, so much so that Scarlett had been so weary at the end of them that she'd actually slept. A few times she'd considered stopping to research the position available with Stark Industries but had never truly had the time. So it had slipped to the back of her mind, not completely faded, but set aside for a quieter moment. She'd meant to discuss it with S.H.I.E.L.D. since she knew they worked with Stark every so often but that too had been pushed aside. 

That was becoming a common theme for Scarlett; pushing things aside.

On the plus side there was very little time to focus on the things that left her unsettled when she had so damn much to do! Scarlett _thrived_ under pressure. Given too much time left to her own devices she became rebellious or self defeating. Thankfully, it'd been awhile since she'd gotten herself into _too_ much trouble. S.H.I.E.L.D. and Refuge had kept her busy enough. 

As promised the side effects of Jemma Simmons' new treatment had been fairly mild. For that, Scarlett was _also_ thankful. Since her company had gone public her schedule had been jam packed with interviews, staff meetings, and potential new clients. After the rumors that had spread about her health it was important for her not to look as sick as she sometimes felt, even during meetings. The new treatment had definitely helped with that. For the first time in weeks she felt a little more like her old self. She hadn't realized how much Dr. Ganter's treatments had affected her. Even so, Scarlett hadn't made many public appearances, at least not ones that mattered.

Today would change that. 

Scarlett checked the mirror in the back of the luxury car as it came to a stop on the Boston street corner. Friday nights, at least for awhile, had been spent at parties. It was partially how she'd garnered such a _scandalous_ reputation. Weekends were probably the only part of this S.H.I.E.L.D. cover that Scarlett enjoyed. When she worked she worked relentlessly. When Scarlett partied, she did so just as vigilantly.

Pushing the mirror away, Scarlett adjusted her dress with a confident smile.

She felt good.

More importantly she _looked_ good.

In the long run no one cared what she felt like as long as she appeared well enough. That was good for her. Scarlett would much prefer there be whispers about what she was wearing than how she was feeling. 

Admittedly Scarlett had spent a decent portion of the afternoon with people who _made_ her look that good, but _still_. It felt nice. After the nasty rumors in the papers the world was going to see that she was doing just _fine_.

She was going to have a sit down with Dianne Hendricks about the story she'd published. No matter how close they were to the truth, Scarlett had to put a stop to them. The last thing she needed was yet another angle for the press to dig at her. There was enough fuel for the fires lit beneath her without that! With a heavy sigh Scarlett sat in the car and waited. 

There were murmurs of a crowd outside her window. It was nothing spectacular, but it was still a special occasion. There would be theater fans waiting to greet the exclusive cast for that night. At least that was what she had assumed. Scarlett had been to a few of these events in the past months since she'd met Nathan and had enjoyed the smaller crowds they drew. She found they were more laid back than other premiers.

That night she would attend a spectacular one-time performance. Broadway greats would be performing Hamlet, of all things. Scarlett had never really loved Shakespeare but it was an occasion such as any to hobnob with socialites and to make a public appearance. There would be an after party to remember and all proceeds of the show went to renovation of the theater and continuing of the arts. Most of the events Scarlett attended these days were charities or premiers… and of course after parties. 

She was early, far earlier than need be. There were still hours before the show but she knew that there would be drinks and socializing before it began. Besides, being early meant avoiding the bulk of the press so she could work herself up to dealing with them. She wished she was a natural at handling them like others she knew. 

Scarlett could use a night of partying to take the edge off. She'd been unusually tense the whole week. Most times she could let the more serious stuff go and still be her good humored self, but this time something was different. 

She was struggling. 

It had happened before. Of _course_ it had. 

But she'd since gotten things under control. Yes, she still had nightmares and often had to pull away to take deep breaths in another room but most people were none the wiser. Scarlett was usually an excellent liar. This week it had been a far more difficult task to keep her distress hidden.

"Are you ready, Miss Damien?" The driver spoke in his thick Indian accent, a smile on his face. Scarlett had become familiar with a few of the drivers from this particular company and had even built a rapport with a few of them. "We have been here for quite awhile. People are waiting to see you."

"Give it a minute." Scarlett tapped the front seat with the cash in her hand and waited for him to take it. For a brief second she swore she could remember her friend in Calcutta's voice. After all, that was all he had ever been: a voice. She'd never gotten to meet him face to face. As quickly as it came over her she shook the sorrow off. There was no time to mourn. That's what she kept telling herself. The crowd outside grew louder, anticipating a celebrity entrance. It was amazing how impatient humanity could be. "Alright, we can go." 

"Always like to make them wait, don't you? It will be well worth it, I think." He smiled and Scarlett returned the gesture then tapped the seat again.

"Always." Scarlett fixed her long dress and checked the mirror one last time. The driver stepped out of the car and walked around to open the door for her. Over time Scarlett had been notorious for avoiding the color that went with her namesake. People had always _expected_ her to wear red either because of her name or her reputation.

Tonight however, would be an exception to the rule. 

Tonight she _wanted_ the attention. 

Swinging her legs out of the car first, she purposely allowed the long skirt of her dress that slit up the middle to linger in the car. Then she took the hand the driver offered to her and stepped out. Much to her surprise there were far more than theater fans waiting outside the velvet ropes that blocked off the entrance to the beautiful old building. The crowd stretched clear down the block. From a distance she could hear someone reporting from some gossip news station or another that the rumors of Scarlett's appearance were true. There were _far_ more reporters than Scarlett had anticipated. 

Someone had told the media that she'd be there. So much for taking it slow.

Scarlett had an idea who and planned on having a talk with him _very_ soon. He'd invited her to the theater, after all. 

The cut of her dress plunged low enough to show some skin and while the dress itself was black, the interior lining was a bright, scarlet red. Her high heels matched, black with a strip of red on the heel. Well, she wanted to make a statement so there was her chance. It wasn't what she'd planned but she rolled with it anyway. For some reason she'd expected to be nervous in front of the crowd but she found she wasn't. It was a pleasant surprise.

Ignoring questions from the press, Scarlett instead walked over to the crowd that was hoping to get autographs from performers. She didn't expect anyone to ask her for anything. These weren't her people, at least she didn't think they were. Still, it was better to talk to the theater fans than it was to talk to the press. They would get the cold shoulder, at least for a little while. They'd printed enough rumors about her for the week, she wasn't going to dignify any of their questions.

"Miss Damien!" A girl surrounded by her friends who were much taller than her yelled over the group of her peers and so Scarlett walked toward her. She was always impressed when teenagers knew who she was. It was hard to remember how many gossip magazines she'd made her way into over the past few months. These kids knew her as well as they knew their favorite heart throbs. At least some of them were interested in the sciences, she'd hoped.

"Yes?" Each was as pleased as pie to see that she'd acknowledged them.

"Is it true you know Nathan? I mean Mr. Richardson? He's such an _amazing_ actor…" The girl's cheeks turned pink. "I saw… I mean _we_ saw in the magazines that you were…" She gestured to her friends with shaky hands and they all nodded in excitement.

"I do know him." Scarlett smiled, approaching the girls but waving to another who called to her from the crowd. All at once the girls chattered over each other, asking a thousand questions about the actor. Scarlett was overwhelmed but couldn't hide her amusement. She pretended to be blown back by the conversation.

"We heard he was casting to be in one of those new super hero movies! Is that true?"

"God, he's so handsome!"

"Can you get us his autograph?"

"Don't you think he'd make a great super villain?"

"Do you think he'll stay on Broadway for awhile?"

"He has these cheekbones…"

"Calm down, calm down!" Scarlett laughed and held out her hands to quiet them. "I don't know where he is right now, so I can't really say if he'll give you an autograph. Or… really some of those were just comments about his handsome face. So I'm not sure how to respond to them. Can we… rethink these questions? Or make them more question-like?"

"Well, he is handsome! Just look!" One of the older girls held out a magazine clipping from the week before. Scarlett recognized it from a lunch she'd had with him awhile back. There were cute little hearts scribbled all over the paper.

"I didn't say he wasn't, I'm just saying it wasn't a _question_."

"Could you give him this picture I made for him?" One of the smaller girls asked, trying to force her hand up through the crowd to give Scarlett a drawing of the actor.

"Wow, this is really good." Scarlett was impressed as she took the picture and nodded her head. "I absolutely will give this to him. You even got that weird little crooked bit of his nose…"

"Isn't it the cutest?" One of her friends giggled. "Can we take a picture with you by any chance?" She waved her phone at Scarlett who nodded and then leaned over the velvet rope. 

"Hold me up, I'm too tall for you kids." Scarlett relied on the kids to hold her up and made a silly face as the girl snapped a few pictures. It was nice to _talk_ to people who weren't judging her too hard. Everyone Scarlett dealt with on a daily basis seemed to have some ulterior motives. These girls wanted nothing more than a simple conversation. "Alright, here we go."

"Thank you, Miss Damien."

"Please, girls, call me Scarlett." She smiled.

"Do you think he'll come out here before the show?"

"I'm not sure." Scarlett responded. "I didn't check in with him before I came. Does he usually?"

"Sometimes."

"God, I'll just die if he comes close to us, he's _so_ cute!" One of the girls squealed and Scarlett shook her head and opened her mouth to speak. 

"Are you talking about me?" There was a rush of noise from the crowd as Nathan made his way out of the theater and toward Scarlett. He stopped and waved as the crowd acknowledged him and then shoved both his hands in his pockets. The girls whispered amongst themselves, Scarlett heard several squeals of delight. "Oh, now I k _now_ they must be talking about me. Look at all that whispering!" He joked as he got closer to them. "Scarlett, I'm so glad you decided to come." Gently he placed his hand on her lower back in greeting. His hand was startlingly warm against her bare back.

"When you offered to pay for drinks it was hard to resist, Nathan." Scarlett stood upright and nodded toward the girls. "I was just getting to know your fan club a little bit." She backed a little away from Nathan, urging his hand away. "Which one of you has the best phone, huh?" Scarlett took one of the five phones thrust toward her and then pushed Nathan toward the group. "Come on, get in there with that _handsome_ face."

"Well it's not like you're giving me much of a choice." Nathan chuckled and crouched so that he was at the same height as the girls in the crowd. "Hello ladies, I hope you haven't been waiting too long."

"We've been here since nine this morning!" One of the girl's squealed with delight.

"All that time, my _lord!_ That is dedication young lady!" Nathan couldn't believe it and opened his mouth to thank them for waiting but was interrupted.

"Yo, handsome face. Can't take a picture if you keep yap-yap-yapping." Scarlett snapped her fingers in front of him and then stole a picture of the group with the phone. "Alright, one more, but if you don't smooch his face and mess up his hair then I'm going to be disappointed."

"Scarlett, I don't think that's a good…" Nathan laughed nervously but then yelped in surprise as the girls did just as she requested. Suddenly they were messing up his hair and planting kisses on his cheeks.

"Oh yes, that's right, he _really_ loves when you mess up his hair. Not prissy at all, this one."

"I know what you're implying but it's not true!" Nathan struggled to stay upright but laughed. It was hard _not_ to smile.

"Smile pretty, Nathan." Scarlett spoke over him and snapped pictures. The girls were grinning and laughing, red in the face. "Perfect. Alright, let the man breathe." Scarlett walked back to the group and handed the young girl her phone. There were a thousand words of gratitude amongst squeals to their friends. "Hey, it's no problem. I hope it was worth the wait." Scarlett turned away and took another look at the drawing she'd been given. Nathan was standing nearby trying desperately to fix his hair with a laugh. "Stop, _stop._ God, you're bad at that."

"What, am I just supposed to take pictures like this? It's a mess! This is _your_ fault, you know." Nathan pointed an accusing finger at her before running his fingers through his hair. 

"Just, stand still. Take this." Scarlett swatted his hand away from his hair, handed him the drawing, and then pushed his hair back into place carefully. Unbeknownst to Scarlett, Nathan melted into a smile as he admired her. "God, how much gel do you put in this mess to get it to stay like that…?"

"You'll have to ask my stylist, darling."

"I should've known you don't do it yourself."

"Not for events!" Nathan laughed and nodded his head toward the theater. "I'm growing it out for a role and it's unruly!" 

"You're going on stage in a little while, do you not have enough people dabbing you with makeup and brushes?"

"If I had known that a beautiful woman would be running her fingers through my hair I wouldn't have had it done." Nathan had a stupid smile on his face and Scarlett rolled her eyes. She suddenly felt very uncomfortable. When had he started looking at her like that?

"Enough with the charm. I get it. You're British." She pulled her hands away and then turned toward the crowd as someone called her name. She couldn't tell where the voice had come from, but there were so many people shouting it didn't rightly matter. 

"Mr. Richardson, please. Just one quote!" One of the reporters was practically hanging over the velvet rope in hopes of getting an exclusive. Nathan loved the press. He thought they were funny.

"A quote about what? I could give you many."

"Something, anything! Perhaps about you and Miss Damien?" Hopeful, the reporter held out his microphone and swatted blindly back at the cameraman beside him.

"Miss Damien is right here, isn't she? And in Boston of all places!" Nathan picked up Scarlett's hand much to her surprise but she smiled anyway. She felt better. If the press planned on printing rumors, then they were going to be within her control. Besides, stories about whatever love life the world thought she had were far funnier than stories concerning a mystery illness. 

"Yes, who would have thought I'd be found in the very place that I live." Scarlett shrugged her shoulders and readjusted her dress.

"You know, I was thinking of buying this place." Nathan turned toward her curiously while giving her hand a squeeze. All of this made her very uncomfortable.

"Oh, were you?" Scarlett scoffed. "So you're made of that kind of money?"

"I most certainly am." Nathan chuckled. "It'd be a good investment. It's a gorgeous theater and it needs someone to love it!"

"You work in Manhattan if I recall."

"For now." Nathan couldn't help himself. "I could be closer to you, if you'd like. Lunch every day, even. You're good with design. Perhaps you could help renovate, hmm?"

"So now it's for _me_." Scarlett batted her eyelashes and then looked toward the crowd as reporters fired questions. "It's like he doesn't know how to stop being charming. Yeesh."

"Does that confirm the rumors the press have been reporting about the two of you?"

"You're thinking of purchasing the theater, Mr. Richardson? Does that mean you'll be delving into production?"

"Is that why you're here tonight, Miss Damien? To support your boyfriend?"

"I think I'm here to see Hamlet. I mean, that's what on the bill." Scarlett furrowed her brow in thought and then glanced back to Nathan. "And he offered me free drinks. He's going to be very sorry and unable to afford the theater after tonight."

"I did and probably will be. She drinks me right under the table every time. It's an impressive feat." Nathan chuckled but seemed partially disappointed that she hadn't directly answered any of the questions. Scarlett thought in the back of her mind to what Tony had told her earlier that week. Nathan _liked_ her. Vaguely she listened while Nathan regaled the press with something or another. Every so often she laughed when others laughed or touched his shoulder lightly. People took pictures but it felt like they _always_ did these days.

Why did it matter that Nathan liked her? It wasn't as if she liked _him_. Tony seemed to think it was a big deal. Scarlett knew it was just another ploy. Then again, she didn't want to see Nathan get hurt either. He was a good man. The way she'd dressed that night certainly made it seem like she was trying to get _someone's_ attention. Maybe Nathan had misinterpreted her attempt to feel good about herself as an attempt to flirt. God forbid she dress up for herself.

Scarlett's eyes searched the crowd for awhile, trying to take her mind off of the guilt she felt. It wasn't like she'd led Nathan on, at least not on purpose. He'd been very insistent and charming. If things weren't so complicated she may have actually liked him! The reporters became overwhelming so Scarlett pulled away from Nathan to take a better look at the other guests to the theater. The doors were open wide and socialites were multiplying by the minute. Major and minor celebrities had arrived for a night of celebration. 

Some Scarlett recognized, others she didn't. As she searched the crowd someone very familiar caught her eye and she couldn't hide her distaste. Slowly she walked toward the shorter figure clad in black but was interrupted.

"Had enough of the press, have you?"

"Always." Scarlett was relieved when Nathan started away from the media without another word. He was good about that most times.

"You could have warned me that you were going to allow my fans to ambush me. I feel violated!"

"Where's the fun in telling you? Your face was priceless." 

"I suppose you're right." Nathan chuckled then glanced at her with a cunning smile. "You look lovely tonight."

"Aw, you look pretty tonight too Nathan." Scarlett did her best not to cringe when he not so subtly placed his arm around her waist.

"I mean it. After all that nonsense in the papers I admit I was a little worried." He turned to face her, hand still on her waist. "Silly, isn't it?"

"You should know far better than to believe anything they write about me."

"Even about us?" He smiled, his eyes playfully sparkling.

"Especially about us."

"I rather like the photoshopped ones."

"I'm thinking of making a scrapbook of them." Scarlett smiled still but kept her gaze on the very unwelcome guest in the crowd. Natasha Romanoff was standing amongst the socialites, blending in the best she could. Scarlett was being shadowed. She was not happy about it.

"Oh, _please_ let me help." Nathan laughed and then waved toward someone at the far end of the room. There was a group of men and women who were waiting for him, all holding drinks and laughing. "There they are! Look, I have some friends I'd like you to meet. They're very interested in what Refuge is doing and that commercial idea we were talking about…"

"Nathan, I hate to interrupt." Scarlett began and Nathan pouted at once. Guilt! _Guilt_. There was _so_ much damn guilt. Scarlett was riddled with it. "But is there any chance that can wait? I have to make a call." Scarlett lied effortlessly.

"It can't wait? You're always working." He sighed with disappointment.

"Sorry. I'm a businesswoman first and foremost." Scarlett was a very convincing liar. It made her feel disgusting. "I won't be long."

"Fine, but you owe me dinner."

"I'm not sure that's how this works." Scarlett escaped his grip and walked through the crowd, waving him off. After she was sure he was done watching her walk away in the foolish dress she chose to wear, Scarlett made a beeline toward Natasha. The woman was expecting her and made no attempts to disappear. She _wanted_ to be seen. Scarlett knew Natasha could have remained hidden and she had chosen not to."What do you think you're doing here?"

"I'm doing my job." Natasha spoke with a smile but her eyes were dark and stormy.

"Just that?"

"What else would I be doing?"

"You're usually the bearer of bad news these days." Scarlett was obviously not happy to see her. She never was these days. Natasha was her friend but sometimes she wondered. She was tired of having a babysitter.

"No more bad news. Not today." Natasha nodded confidently and offered a genuine smile at last.

"Then why are you here? I'm a big girl. I can handle myself."

"After what happened the other night we've got to keep a closer eye on you."

" _Oh._ " Scarlett's face immediately fell. For a brief moment she'd thought perhaps Natasha wanted to have some fun for once. Instead, Scarlett knew she'd only been sent there because of S.H.I.E.L.D. Natasha studied her features, trying to get a read on her. Every so often her friend disappeared and it was hard to tell when it happened.

"Everything alright, Scarlett?"

"If you'd let me carry a gun instead of having to hide one on my person every time I'm out in public, things would be simpler." Clearing her throat, Scarlett swallowed her frustration as always. "You could get a lackey to do this job instead of sending Nick Fury's puppet every time I look a little pale. Getting paid overtime, Natasha? A bit hard up for cash or something? Doesn't seem like you."

"Enough." Natasha clenched her jaw. "Why don't you get a drink? Always butters you up a bit."

"Oh, so I'm allowed to drink now? I thought that was irresponsible."

"We both know you never stopped."

"Are you sure it's safe? Are you sure I'm capable of choosing which one? So many choices and dangerous glasses, how could I know which one won't hurt me? It seems like you don't remember just how capable I am. I might need your help holding the glass, god forbid it cut me." Scarlett spat under her breath. She was tired of being babied. She hadn't tried to run off and chase down MedCo yet as much as every part of her instinct told her to. Didn't that count for anything? Natasha was scared she was going to do something stupid.

"Don't be like this."

"Do they even know you're here? Do you think they really care that much about what happens to me? Because I don't." Scarlett wasn't going to change the subject simply because it might force Natasha to emote in public.

"I don't care how they feel about it." Natasha exhaled and then looked around Scarlett. She felt eyes on them and saw that Nathan was casually watching them from afar, trying not to be so obvious and failing. "What's really going on with him? The actor guy."

"He's a friend. His name is Nathan." Scarlett didn't look back at him. She was used to eyes on her. There was a time when she'd taken note of all of them but after having been thrust into celebrity she didn't bother. 

"Friends are dangerous for you."

"You would know." Scarlett rolled her eyes. Was Natasha really going to lecture her about her cover?

"You think dressed like that he thinks you're just his friend?"

"You of all people are _not_ going to criticize how I'm dressed." Scarlett cleared her throat. Maybe the dress had been a mistake. It had felt good at the time, it had felt sexy. Now she felt guilty for wearing it because of Nathan and dirty for wearing it because of Natasha. It shouldn't have been that way. "Are you done? I don't want a lecture. You're so much smaller than me it's like being lectured by the Lollipop Guild."

"He likes you." Natasha placed her hands on her hips and looked to her seriously.

"What are you, my mother now? What _happened_ to you?" Scarlett grimaced, finally frustrated enough that she had to release some of her pent up anger. "Lecturing me? Really? Wasn't there a time where you would have bought me a drink for getting that guy to like me? Look how _pretty_ he is. And the accent! The accent is super cute. Where's my pat on the back. Where's my… hey Scarlett, look damn good in that dress! Usually followed by, how many weapons are you hiding?"

"Things are different now."

"Why?" Scarlett held up her hand to stop Natasha from responding. "Don't. I can tell you why. I got shoved into the limelight. I was perfectly content staying behind the scenes and going after these assholes that destroyed _everything_ I had. It was a mistake to agree to this. A damned mistake Natasha. Even you know it. You're treating me differently now. You swore you wouldn't." She clenched her jaw.

"Don't get worked up, Scarlett."

"How am I supposed to _not_ get worked up?" Scarlett took a step closer to Natasha and checked around her to make sure no one was listening. "You're here babysitting me when you should be helping me fight against these people. Instead you've got me on a leash and you have the audacity to tell me that I'm too close to someone? In case you haven't noticed I have made it abundantly clear that I am _not_ into him. I'm sure you have, since you're always right behind me, aren't you? Instead of next to me like you should be."

"Enough." Natasha whispered severely.

"You don't scare me, Widow. So don't bother."

"I'm not trying to scare you."

"If I had just done what my instincts told me to do about these assholes in the first place instead of coming to _you_ then I wouldn't be in this situation." 

"It's your instincts that got you into this situation in the first place, remember?" Natasha scolded. Scarlett didn't argue. She was tired of arguing. Tonight was supposed to be fun and it had been, but only for a short time. Maybe it was stupid but Scarlett had wanted just a few minutes to forget about the reality of things. The week had been so stressful. She didn't have an outlet anymore of any kind besides alcohol which she knew was a problem. The only friends she had left were S.H.I.E.L.D. agents. They weren't really friends anyway. They were always watching her, waiting for her to screw up.

Scarlett was alone. That had never bothered her before, not until she was so surrounded with people it felt odd to be singled out. If she was going to be lonely she might as well _actually_ be alone.

She knew deep down that if she had gone after MedCo on her own she'd probably be dead by now. But maybe now, maybe with what she now knew, she could go after them. One by one she could hunt them down until she had every one of their damn heads. What did it matter what happened to her along the way anyway? At this rate the end was inevitable. If she'd done things her way, then maybe at least she could have gotten some revenge.

Maybe a few lives would've been spared.

There Natasha was blaming her. Like Scarlett didn't do that enough for everyone. She was many things but naïve was not one of them. 

"Scarlett?" Natasha whispered when her friend didn't respond. Scarlett needed someone to be strong enough to do what she couldn't and Natasha had chosen to fill that role without being asked to. 

"I'm fine." Scarlett snapped. She wasn't a child, she didn't need her hand held at every turn. "Aren't there enough people watching me here without you on my tail all the time? There are cameras everywhere. I'm not disappearing."

"Scarlett?" Nathan's voice interrupted and both women turned to face the handsome actor. He pushed back his hair and watched them with concern. Straightening his back he walked next to Scarlett and nodded toward Natasha. "Is everything alright here?"

"Everything's fine." Scarlett exhaled, forcing the anger to bubble back into her stomach where she was sure it would eat away at her insides. Natasha watched her every move, studying her features as they changed. Did Scarlett really like this guy? It seemed like an act to Natasha but sometimes Scarlett was hard to read. Even for her.

"Whose your friend?" Nathan smiled charmingly and offered his hand to shake. "I'm Nathan Richardson. On the bill tonight, I'm afraid."

"This is Natalia. She's an old coworker." Scarlett stood tall but Nathan smiled widely, elated to be introduced to someone from Scarlett's past.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Natalia. However, I'm afraid I must steal Scarlett away from you." Nathan smiled and looped his arm around Scarlett's. 

"Of course. Enjoy your night." Natasha didn't take her eyes away from Scarlett as Nathan led her away. "Break a leg."


	17. Intermission

Against all odds, Tony had an incredibly productive week. He'd worked harder than he'd worked in months and felt pretty damn good about it. If he had known that it would feel so damn good he would have gotten back to work ages ago. It didn't matter how long he'd waited. What mattered now was that he felt accomplished for the first time in forever.

No matter how much he'd built in his basement, how much he'd developed since he'd returned from Manhattan he'd never felt it was good enough. It was partially why he couldn't sleep. Well, one of the tens of thousands of reasons his brain avoided rest. Why should he sleep when there was still so much to do? So much to prepare for? He could sleep fitfully when it was a job well done. While that hadn't been true, it had been one of the rationalizations that had at least made sense to him along the way. Tony may not have completely understood whatever phenomenon he was going through, but he was beginning to make his way out of it. 

Maybe he didn't have to understand.

Maybe all Tony had to do was survive. It was like any other battle, simply with less fireworks involved.

Now it was Friday. Technically the work week would be ending soon. No one would want to be bothered with him on a Saturday, at least not for business. So Tony found himself at a standstill. Twiddling his thumbs. What did he _used_ to do in times like this?

That's right. 

He'd _cancel_ every Friday meeting, have Pepper reschedule it until the next week and then find something fun to do instead. But what was there to do? Could he really blow off the rest of his day just to have a good time. Vegas wasn't that far. Gambling was always fun.

_Right?_

Gambling would draw attention to Tony. He loved attention. Sort of. People would ask where he's been. They would ask why he's been hidden away. Honestly, Tony didn't have answers for them. How could he answer a question like that for the media, for the people, when he didn't even truly understand the answer himself? Scarlett had told him it was post traumatic stress disorder. But was that true?

He'd thought about it a hundred times since he'd met her that last weekend. Since then he'd tossed over whether it was or not just as many times. Jarvis had helped him narrow down the symptoms and research a bit, but still it didn't seem right. How could _he_ , of all people, be suffering from an anxiety disorder? Tony Stark didn't have anxiety.

Did he?

"Ugh," Tony grumbled, wiping his hands over his face as he flopped backwards onto the couch. Arm draped lazily over his eyes he sat in silence and considered again what he could do that wouldn't completely drive him up the wall for the rest of the night. Maybe he'd find something for the whole weekend even. He could take a trip somewhere maybe. Wouldn't that irritate Pepper though? For him to take a vacation without his girlfriend? She didn't much feel like his girlfriend right now anyway so what did it matter? 

She'd spent so much time with Happy lately that it was more like she was _his_ girlfriend and not Tony's. That didn't bother him as much as it probably should have, but still he knew he'd catch hell for not inviting her somewhere. 

Even more disappointing, Tony considered as he reflected on his week, was that Scarlett had _not_ gotten back to him as promised. He'd been worried about her after reading so many articles concerning her health. But at the same time he had spoken to her the very night of the incident reported in the papers and she seemed just fine. What right did he have to worry about her anyway? As many times as he tried to convince himself she was a complete stranger and he should stop thinking about her, he had also talked himself into thinking it was okay. They were going to work together, of _course_ he should be concerned!

Then again she hadn't really responded to him either. Maybe they wouldn't work together. What if she did turn down his offer? Wouldn't he have to back down eventually? Tony couldn't consider it. They were meant to work together. He knew it. Or maybe he just _wanted_ it.

_No._

Tony didn't really believe in destiny, fate, or any of that nonsense. He was a man of science, of logic, ultimately. People made their own fates, designed their own destiny with the choices they made. Yet, there was this stupid nagging voice in the back of his head that repeatedly told him he needed to work with this woman. Maybe he just wanted it in the worst way. Who knew? He certainly didn't. Tony wasn't very good at not getting his way and while he very well could have chalked this up to him being stubborn, it wasn't what it felt like. Tony felt this was more of a need than a want.

"Hey Jarvis."

"Yes, Mr. Stark. Should I dim the lights? Is it nap time?"

"No." Tony laughed and sat up on the couch with a grunt. "I hate this stupid couch." He grumbled then continued. "What is Scarlett up to today? Any reports of anything anywhere?" Tony half expected Jarvis to object to his snooping but instead the computer did just as he was told. "Also start looking for new couches. I hate this thing. It's too squishy."

"Is that not a desirable quality in a couch, sir?"

"It's _too_ squishy. Every time I lay on it I get trapped. It's like a cloud Jarvis, a cloud and I can't sit and get work done on a _cloud_." 

"Message received, sir. The couch is so comfortable it's like sitting on a cloud." 

"God, you're a jerk. Who programmed you?"

"I do believe it was you, sir."

"Sounds about right." Tony pinched the bridge of his nose. "So, did you find out what she's up to or do I have to do it myself? You know how I feel about doing it myself…"

"Reports are that she's got tickets to a special theater event in Boston this evening."

"Is it with that gross actor guy?"

"Reports don't mention that he's gross, but yes it appears that Nathan Richardson will be reprising his role as Hamlet for a good cause. There will be quite the gathering of celebrities tonight. They're raising money for the arts."

"One of those… things where rich people eat, drink, and be merry under the guise of charity, right?"

"Yes, it appears so. You do take all the romance out of it." Tony flipped through the tabloid reports for the evening planned ahead and pondered his own night. "Here's the theater, sir." The page was blown up behind the reports Tony thumbed through and he pulled it closer at once. They were on the contact page already. If Tony didn't know better he would have thought Jarvis was trying to set him up. He'd already been considering it, but he hadn't been entirely convinced to put his plan into action yet. Wouldn't it be crossing a line to crash her party like that? Then again, it wasn't _her_ party to crash. The odds that he would be invited to such an event were pretty high too! For all Scarlett knew, he was already on the list.

Tony looked to the clock. It was a long flight from Malibu to Boston, but if he left immediately and got ready on the plane then he could make it before the curtain. What was it they said about being fashionably late?

"How many strings do you think I'll have to pull to make this happen?" Tony muttered, tapping his finger upon his knee.

"At the risk of inflating your ego, sir, I'm going to take a wild guess and assume that the theater would be thrilled by your patronage and bend over backwards to have you."

"Alright, alright! You sweet talked me into it." Tony stood and walked out of the living room. "I need a new suit." He avoided going into his bedroom ever since Pepper left. It wasn't that he would be reminded of her but rather of the nightmares that plagued him. In fact, he was thinking of renovating and rearranging the entire second floor of the mansion. If it would help him move on then he was more than happy to spend the money. "Jarvis, let the pilot know I'm on my way. I've got a party to crash."

In Boston, Scarlett fidgeted in her seat.

Yep. Shakespeare was _still_ boring. 

Scarlett had never been a fan and it turned out, even with actors she had a fondness for, she _still_ wasn't a fan. Yes, of course, the tale was a classic debate of conscience, murder, and betrayal but it was so damned boring. The first act seemed to drag on for an eternity. While she pretended to be interested in the play, she found her thoughts drifting.

Natasha had shown up to shadow her for no reason. She wasn't even sure that S.H.I.E.L.D. had sent her of if her friend was there simply out of fear. It wasn't like Natasha to be scared so Scarlett couldn't really be sure. Time had changed the Black Widow. Suddenly she had feelings and a conscience and all of that. Scarlett had known her when her moral compass was still finding its way out of being a brainwashed killer.

Scarlett had never needed brainwashing to do her job; she'd always enjoyed it. Not that killing had gotten her off! No, it was more the danger, the thrill. She'd always been bored so easily. Things would change for her now too. They already were. There was no avoiding change. It came for each of them. 

Scarlett suddenly felt guilty. It was a very common feeling for her these days.

She'd been hard on Natasha. 

Maybe she should apologize. Scarlett looked over her shoulder and toward the exit and wondered where the Black Widow was now. Scarlett was touchy. Everyone was questioning her capabilities in every aspect. The story about her being sick had scared her more than she let on. It was too close to the truth and she didn't want to be treated the way the people at S.H.I.E.L.D. treated her. If anyone else knew about it that would change. Scarlett had enough of change for now.

If anyone else knew she vowed she would disappear.

She couldn't sit idly by and watch the world go on without her any longer. For awhile she'd been content to find some normalcy after all the bad. After being attacked by Scott and then having to kill him. Then finding out what he'd done to her… Scarlett had been terrified. In a panic she'd gone to Natasha who had led her to S.H.I.E.L.D. 

Handing over the reins to her future had been easy in that moment. It had almost been a relief to have someone else take care of _her_ for a change. But now, as she sat watching the actors on stage in front of her she felt a little like them.

She felt like a puppet.

Someone else was writing the script and she was forced to read the lines and pretend to be someone she never was. It was like a play and she was sure the final act would come before she was ready for it. Scarlett had never been one to follow orders.

Maybe it was time to throw the script out the window, at least partially. When she'd been given Scott's file the other day it had been a step in the right direction. It was then and there that she decided that she was going to pursue him on her own. In her spare time she would do the research and get ready for a fight. MedCo wasn't going to leave her alone simply because S.H.I.E.L.D. wanted them to. Natasha couldn't protect her forever. And honestly, Scarlett didn't _want_ Natasha to protect her. 

If MedCo was hunting her down then she was going to return the favor. They'd come for her again. She knew it. When they did? This time she would plant a tracker on them. Even if her assailants didn't return directly to MedCo they had to go somewhere. Scarlett would take that information and run with it. Feeling more confident, Scarlett relaxed a bit in her seat at last. She clapped with the crowd as the lights came back on to signal it was time for intermission.

Perhaps she should go greet Nathan backstage. Scarlett didn't really want to. Instead she considered letting Natasha in on her plans. The Black Widow was still her friend. Even if she broke all the rules she knew Natasha would be there waiting to help. She didn't seem to make that very obvious these days, but it was only out of fear. _Fear._ The damn thing was palpable when she was with Natasha. They didn't want to lose each other.

As scared as Natasha was she still knew what Scarlett was capable of. She was sure the Black Widow wouldn't let her work alone, but she would recognize good ideas when she saw them even in the face of fear. At least that's what Scarlett hoped.

The crowd around her bustled and moved. Most people got out of their seats to either use the restroom or to get a drink. Others did so to mingle. The production would be back in a few minutes so Scarlett didn't see the point. Besides, it was kind of nice to enjoy the theater with the lights on and no Shakespeare.

She glanced up at the ceiling and admired the architecture. It was intricate, but in desperate need of restoration. That was partially why they were there. Before they'd sat down for the production they'd been asked to write a check for the theater. There was a great after school program open to the neighborhood for the arts there as well. Scarlett actually _liked_ this theater. She personally hoped Nathan _didn't_ buy it.

"I thought you were going to call me." Suddenly the person seated next to Scarlett was talking to her. She recognized the voice at once and her treacherous train of thought at last ceased. 

What on earth was Tony Stark doing at a small Boston benefit? Scarlett knew _exactly_ what he was doing there. She didn't bother looking over at him and instead turned her attention back to the stage. Any minute the players would be returning for the final act.

"I've been a little busy. I didn't take you for a wait-by-the-phone type of guy." Scarlett responded but even as she spoke she couldn't help but smile even if it was only a little. Tony was fun. Which was dangerous, but _still_. What wasn't dangerous for her these days? Jinx's prediction ran through the back of her mind again and she mentally cursed. There was no way any of that card reading nonsense could be true. Scarlett glanced again at the ceiling. She hoped the theater wasn't going to collapse. It was old after all and the only thing consistent about Jinx's predictions had been a collapse. Now she was being silly.

"I'm not, but I'm not known for my patience either." Tony's gaze followed hers to the ceiling but he saw nothing of note. "Jeez, they should paint up there…"

"I suppose that's fair." Scarlett shrugged and for a moment there was silence between them. How did he manage to get the exact seat next to hers? Was it on purpose? Was she over thinking again? What were the odds that he had come to this benefit in Boston _just_ to see her? She didn't want to seem overly cocky and just assume. It was quite the coincidence though.

"When we were on the phone the other night you didn't mention you'd just come back from the _hospital_." Tony was turned in his seat toward her. He unbuttoned his suit jacket and rested his elbow on the back of his seat.

"It didn't seem worth mentioning." Scarlett rolled her eyes. Of course he was there, seated next to her, on purpose. How could she have doubted it for even a second?

"I asked why you were awake at such an hour. You still didn't mention it. That makes it relevant."

"And I told you I couldn't sleep. I wasn't lying."

"You didn't say it was because you passed out somewhere earlier." Tony pointed an accusatory finger. She still wasn't looking at him and he was okay with that. It gave him time to drink her in guilt free. Coming to Boston that night had _not_ been a mistake. That donated money was well worth the prize he was getting in return. Scarlett looked _amazing._ He didn't look so bad himself, or at least he thought so. When he wanted to, he could make every woman in that theater swoon. That had been exactly what he'd been hoping for that night, though it was only the one woman he wanted swooning. Oddly enough, the guilt Tony had felt the week before was lessening dramatically.

"You are turning out to be quite the gossip."

"You have no idea." Tony chuckled. "So what is it then?"

"What is _what?_ "

"Are you pregnant with that theater guy's kid? That was a really popular theory." 

"What?" Scarlett gasped and turned at last in her seat to face Tony. He looked better than he had the week before. More like the man she'd seen in the papers for years, but even more than that. There was life in his eyes that were a startling brown. She hadn't noticed that the last time. He'd seemed so lost, his eyes so dark. Now they were sparkling, dripping with honey.

"Should I say it slower? Are… you… knocked… up?" Tony glanced at her stomach, leaning up out of his chair. "You don't _look_ like you are but I know those first few months are kinda tricky…"

"God no, I am _not_ pregnant." Scarlett laughed. "I hadn't heard that one, _Christ._ " She held her hand to her chest and fanned herself. Did people really think that could be true? Man, what some people would believe.

"That's a relief."

"Oh, _really?_ "

"You can't keep wearing dresses like that if you're knocked up."

"I will wear whatever I damn well please whenever I want." Scarlett corrected him. "Regardless of my size and state."

"Well yes, and please, by all means, _do_." Tony held his hand up defensively. "I just meant that dresses for pregnant women generally don't dip that low."

"I'm _not_ pregnant." Scarlett reclined in her seat and crossed her legs and her dress fell over her leg. Tony watched with a smile. "And it's not _that_ low."

"Still relieved." Tony didn't turn away. "So what is it then? Overworked?"

"I am far from overworked. Do I look overworked?" 

"No, you look _fantastic_."

"That answers your question then. Next."

"Secret illness, then? I didn't love that one but it was there."

"Really, Stark?" Scarlett did her best to look incredulous. Why did he have to peruse the rumor mill? Was it really necessary? The media had taken enough of a toll on her already that week without his help. Yet, she was actually enjoying herself for the first time that night since Natasha had rained all over her parade. Hopefully she could get him off of the rumors eventually. They could pick up where they left off after having drinks the other day. There was no reason anyone should interrupt her this time. Except for maybe Nathan. But who cared? Nathan didn't seem important right now. 

"What about secret government meetings? I hear they're testing you or something. Are you a super soldier?"

"You know my press better than I do. I hadn't heard that one either."

"Just tell me. I'm really curious!"

"Obviously!" Scarlett scoffed but still smiled. "It's no one's business but my own. I'm just fine."

"Alright." Tony sighed heavily.

"Good."

"Are you _sure_ you're not pregnant?" Tony spoke after a moment of silence, his hand on his chin, desperately trying not to crack a grin.

"Look, if you were jealous of Nathan then maybe you should have brought your _girlfriend_ as a distraction." Scarlett accused but this time Tony didn't miss a beat.

"I'm not jealous. Not even a little. My eyes are just naturally a tiny bit green, look." Tony pulled on the skin beneath his eye and blinked purposely.

"Oh, stop it!" Scarlett laughed but then stopped. "What the hell, your eyes _are_ a little green." She leaned a little closer to get a better look.

"I wasn't kidding. I'm not a _liar_ , Scarlett."

"Regardless." Scarlett leaned back in her seat and sat up straight. The lights flashed overhead, signaling the intermission was coming to an end. Scarlett was slightly disappointed. She was finally having fun and at last she wanted a drink. Drinking with Tony was bound to be fun and a little dangerous. She was more than okay with those odds.

"I can see how you would think that I'm jealous though. I mean, who wouldn't be with that dress."

"How many times are you going to mention my dress?"

"Until you explain it."

"The show is about to start, it's time for you to shush." Scarlett held her finger to her lips and watched the stage as the lights went off in the theater.

"I don't shush."

"The show is coming back, _shush._ "

"Fine, fine. But work on that explanation or I'm going to make one up for you. It'll be way naughtier than yours, I'm sure." Tony only quieted because the crowd around him had died down. The stage came to life before him. Rolling his eyes, Tony leaned on his elbow and watched the show as it progressed. But only for a minute.

Sure, Nathan was a good enough looking guy. He was a bit young though, at least Tony thought. Scarlett was more suited for someone a bit older, a bit more mature… perhaps with more experience. Shifting in his seat, Tony turned his gaze to Scarlett who was apparently paying rapt attention to the scene in front of her. He turned back to the show and tried to do the same.

Nathan was good. Convincing. 

_Damnit._

Tony had hoped he'd see something to make fun of besides his British accent but was finding that the man was actually pretty talented. Still, something else caught his eye. Scarlett was tapping her fingers on the arm of her chair. She appeared to be watching the show, but she was bored! She was _bored!_

Her fancy actor beau was _boring_ her.

"So, what do you see in this guy?" Tony leaned over the arm of his chair to whisper to Scarlett who leaned a bit away, startled by him in her personal space. She placed her finger to her lips to silence him and turned back to the show. He wasn't _really_ still talking, was he? Scarlett couldn't believe it. Like this show wasn't going slow enough, now she had to deal with this! Thankfully he seemed to at last get comfortable in his seat. The minutes dragged on and Tony's voice cut through the silence again. "I guess he's… _tall_." Tony whispered, hand over his mouth to block his lips from the stage. He didn't want to interrupt the show but he _did_ want to interrupt Scarlett.

"Yeah, I like him because he's tall. Shush." Scarlett swatted at him.

"No, I mean, many guys are tall. That's not a good enough reason."

"Haven't you heard? I sorta sleep with everyone."

"What? _No!_ I hadn't heard." Tony could tell she was being sarcastic but he was going to run with it. "Does that include the ladies? Because I heard _also_ the ladies. And I know I shouldn't think about it too hard but god I hope it's true."

"Shush." 

"I mean, rumors are one thing but they say you're dating _this_ guy. What makes him so much better than all the _other_ tall guys? Or tall ladies for that matter?"

"Tony." Scarlett began threateningly. The person on Tony's other side had taken notice. So had the person on Scarlett's right. They were leaning forward curiously to try and hear more of it. They were in the front row, someone on stage was going to notice soon enough. This was very embarrassing.

"I mean, yeah he's above average height but… Is height really what matters, Scarlett?"

Suddenly Scarlett stood up. Crouched low, she turned to her neighbor and whispered an apology. The man there nodded in understanding. Then Scarlett grabbed Tony's hand and pulled him out of his chair with surprising force. He was about to ask what they were doing but she looked at him with such annoyance and ferocity that he already knew what was happening.

"I'm in _trouble_." Tony whispered to the man at the end of the row as Scarlett dragged him down the aisle and toward the back of the theater.


	18. Dangerous

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the Kudos guys <3 Feedback is always appreciated. You're the best!

The walk from the theater and onto the balcony outside the doors may have been one of the longest walks of Scarlett's life. Tony had stopped half a dozen times to talk to people he recognized and even tried to sit down with them to avoid his punishment. Then he'd made a spectacle of his being dragged out of the theater by Scarlett to anyone who would listen! 

He claimed he was in _trouble_. He'd said it in such a way that it sounded dirty, even. She could only hope that the actors on the stage hadn't noticed. Even if they hadn't everyone else around them _had._ Someone somewhere was surely assuming something.

Well, he was certainly in trouble _now_ if he hadn't been before. She hadn't been nearly as irritated when she'd begun to drag him out of his seat, but now her heart was pounding in her ears.

" _Go._ " Scarlett released Tony's wrist and pointed toward the archway that led to the staircase of the main level and out onto the Boston streets. The theater really was designed for entertaining beyond the stage. Overlooking the large lobby below, the balcony was expansive and at the same height as a grand old chandelier. Any other time, Scarlett would have been impressed. Right now she was trying not to be worked up.

"Why would I do that?" Tony laughed, shoving his hands into his pockets. Was it weird his hand felt empty now without her grabbing at it? She'd been mad at him of course, but it had been nice to be pulled along like that. Twice he'd tried to grab her hand to hold it in the process and each time he'd been swatted and restrained. "You're really _strong,_ how did you get that strong? I didn't expect you to pull me all rough like that. I mean I liked it but…"

"I said _go._ "

"But I'm having _fun_." Tony couldn't hide his grin. Usually women melted when he gave them that smile, but Scarlett stood her ground. She didn't _really_ want him to go, he could tell! "I'm not leaving. I paid to be here, you know. Charity or something, if I recall. It was _more_ than you think considering what a late arrival I was. I only saw like three minutes of the play actually, so I've kinda paid just to be dragged around at this point."

"Yes, we all paid to be here. That's the point of charity!" Scarlett stepped a bit away from him, held her hand on her hip and then took a deep breath. She was mentally coaching herself to get it together. Shakespeare had bored her but as entertaining as Tony was he was getting her into trouble. She couldn't be this much trouble in the front row of _any_ theater. Surely, Nathan was watching her when he had the opportunity. For most of the night she'd been denying that there was something going on with the actor but she was tired of pretending. He liked her and she had to accept it. Turning at last to look at Tony over her shoulder she considered having to deal with him _and_ the second act of Hamlet. "Alright, _alright._ "

"What?"

"If you're going to stay through the show," Scarlett turned toward him and took a step closer, "then you have got to be quiet. No arguments." It was a simple enough request but Scarlett wasn't confident it was something Tony could commit to.

"Why would I do that? I have so many questions!" Tony was puzzled but didn't back away. He wanted to see how far he could push her. Tony had spent the flight there agonizing over whether it was stupid to crash the party or not. Now he knew it had been the right thing to do. He'd been secretly worried about Scarlett all week long. Seeing her now, dressed to the nines and strong enough to drag him out of the theater alleviated any fears he had. They were unfounded fears since he barely knew her, but nothing about his mind felt rational anymore. Screw logic, Tony was tossing caution to the wind tonight. 

"What do you _mean_ why would you do that? So I can watch the show! So others can watch the show. This is a play. A _play!_ Not the Tony Stark show! It is Hamlet. You're making a scene in the middle of Hamlet. Do you know how hard that is?"

"You made a scene dragging me out of there! I was just talking. Not scene making. Trust me, I know how to make a scene."

"People were looking at us because you couldn't _shut up_ about how tall Nathan is."

"People are always looking at you, I hate to be the one to let you in on that." Tony couldn't help himself. "…and he's not _that_ tall."

"You know what I meant, Tony. This is not how tonight was supposed to play out." Scarlett pinched the bridge of her nose and then sighed heavily. "Just let me watch the second act, okay? I'm not asking for much."

"You _hate_ it! I'm trying to do you a favor." Tony rolled his eyes. Taking a risk he leaned a little closer to her, hands still in his pockets. "You hate everything about this. You're tapping your fingers and letting out little sighs. Pretending to look interested but literally thinking of _anything_ else. Admit it! You're glad that I distracted you. I think you may have even missed me."

"Yes, because you suddenly know the very deepest inner workings of my mind. You don't know me, Tony! We had drinks once for like ten minutes. That hardly qualifies you as an expert on anything."

"I know that look." Tony gestured to her face. She wasn't that far from him now, maybe a foot and a half. It didn't seem close enough. Or far enough for that matter.

"That _look?_ What the hell does that mean? Tread lightly."

"The whole putting on a pretty face for the show thing. It's all an act. I know the act."

"If anyone would know it'd be you."

" _Ouch_ , so many digs at my expense. Man, you are mad!" Tony winced but then smiled. "Tell me I'm wrong." Scarlett stared him down and expected him to back off when she clenched her jaw. Most people didn't like to keep eye contact with her but Tony was delighted. His grin widened and he shifted on his feet. "See, I _knew_ it. You can't tell me I'm wrong because you _hate_ it!" He chuckled and buttoned his suit jacket before shoving his hands in his pockets again. 

"I'm here to support a friend." Scarlett sighed, finally taking a step back. When he hadn't walked away, she'd become uncomfortable. Her stomach was in knots. Maybe it was a side effect from the medicine. She hadn't felt anything yet, but it was entirely possible. It was a common side effect for medication, wasn't it? "Definitely _not_ because I like Shakespeare. Or the theater. Or formal parties. Or charity events. I mean I like parts of those things but, yeah…"

"You're here in _that_ dress to support a friend? You're a damn good friend."

"You keep making a _really_ big deal out of my dress." Scarlett gestured toward herself and Tony very much followed her hand. When he didn't take his gaze away from her chest she narrowed her eyes and snapped her fingers. "Up here, Tony. Eyes up here."

"It's making a statement! That's all. How can I not notice?"

"And that statement is what exactly?"

"Well, it's…uh…" Tony stuttered at first. "Which thought should I go with first? The options are plentiful."

"Spit it out." Scarlett had thought she'd caught him at last. If she could make him apologetic for making an inappropriate comment maybe he'd be less inclined to pester her through the rest of the second act. Not that she wanted to go back into the theater again. Arguing with Tony on the balcony was far more fun. The lights were dim, sparkling through the crystals in the chandelier, rainbows of color shining on the dark wallpaper.

"It's saying that you're fine. You want people to know you're doing just _fine._ " Tony didn't think he was right but he could see instantly that he hit a nerve. Scarlett's expression didn't change but her eyes did and she swallowed the lump in her throat. That was exactly why Scarlett had dressed up. She was breathless. Tony took a step closer to bridge the gap between them. Her blue eyes were bright and filled with something familiar. It was something he saw in the mirror all the time these days. Fear. Tony made a mental note to be worried. The relief he'd earlier felt was no longer and he wondered how close to the truth any of those stories had been. He almost asked what was really going on. _Almost_. The fear triggered something else inside him, something less familiar. She'd comforted him in his time of need. Scarlett had done so without treating him like he was crazy or infantile. Maybe he could return the favor. Maybe he could be strong for someone else, for her. "Look, if that's how you dress up to support a _friend…_ "

"Don't start, okay?"

"Then you should come back with me to Malibu and support _this_ friend in _that_ dress." Tony could have sworn he saw relief when he backed down. He felt oddly fulfilled, even more so that she didn't take a step away. He liked being so close to her. She was close enough now to touch if he wanted to. He knew he shouldn’t think like that but how easy would it be to slip an arm around her and make her forget all about whatever threatened her? At least for the night. His thoughts muddled. There were a hundred reasons why he couldn't do that but one really convincing reason that he should. He _wanted_ to. "I swear, there's no Shakespeare involved. If you'd believe it, there's less arrogance working with me than in this play." His voice was surprisingly husky. Oops.

"You are the _neediest_ business associate that I'm not even associated with, I swear." Scarlett laughed at last but it didn't seem to relieve the tension. For a moment she made eye contact with him and resisted nervously moistening her lips. When neither of them spoke she started past him and back toward the theater. Her heart was racing a mile a minute and for all the wrong reasons. Tony had gotten too close to her and she hadn't stopped him. His brown eyes were killing her now that she'd noticed them. Then he'd gotten so close to the _real_ reason she'd dressed up that she'd nearly lost her composure. What was it about him that made it so hard to lie? She was an excellent liar. When Nathan was around it was no problem. Why was it so hard around Tony Stark?

"You're right." Tony grabbed her wrist and when she pulled away, hurried in front of her. He held up his hands to stop her from walking back into the theater. She did, but just barely, nearly running right into him. "You're absolutely right. I am incredibly demanding… in so _many_ ways." He'd told himself he wouldn't flirt with her tonight but that had lasted about as long as it had taken to open his mouth. There was no stopping him sometimes. It was so natural to flirt with her. This moment couldn't end. For a few moments his brain was focused on only one thing and that was her.

"And pushy." Scarlett stopped trying to get around him and instead decided to let him say his piece.

"Yes, _and_ pushy."

"Sort of annoying sometimes."

" _Really?_ "

"Yes."

"Fine. Annoying, selfish, you name it. I am _everything_ that the papers have made me out to be over the years." He lowered his voice, glanced toward the doors that led back toward the theater and then back at the woman in front of him. She was only a little shorter than him in heels.

"I'm not sure what you're getting at, Tony. You're not really boosting yourself up here. I'm still missing the play."

"The point is that I know what I am. I'm not going to try to trick you into thinking I'm something else. I need your help, Scarlett. I wouldn't keep chasing you if I didn't think it was worth it." He knew it was a bad idea but he picked up her hands and stepped closer. There were only a few inches between them now. For a moment they stared and while her face was stern he could see something else in her eyes. She didn't want him to pull away. That was all the confirmation Tony needed to know it wasn't in his head. Whatever this was it was happening to the both of them. Averting her eyes, Scarlett seemed to regain herself just enough.

"I didn't come here to discuss business tonight. It's Friday." Scarlett made to pull her hands back but Tony only held them tighter. If she wanted to pull away she could have, but her struggle was half hearted.

"You didn't call me to discuss business either as you said you would."

"I told you I've been busy. It wasn't on purpose. I had every intention of getting in touch with you but time slipped away from me." Scarlett swore her hands were going numb in his. Was this the medicine? What was it he needed help with again anyway? Work? Or _something?_ She thought he could use some help with that tie. Or maybe getting that shirt off. That couldn't have been in it. Scarlett was very much in trouble. Her tongue felt too big for her mouth and it took every bit of her willpower to stay on topic of conversation. There was a very small voice in her head telling her to run but it was muddled by Tony.

"You don't think I believe that, do you? That's what _I_ say to people I want to blow off. There's always time for what's important."

"Maybe that's what _you_ would say but I was _actually_ busy. I went public last week. I had a hundred meetings. The press is on my ass all the time…" Scarlett rattled off excuses but she wasn't thinking about any of that anymore. She was wondering what the hell was happening to her. Part of her gut instinct wanted to punch Tony in the stomach and run for the hills. The other part of it wanted to get drunk and drag him out back to give into what she had been desperately avoiding. The part that wanted to do that was much more convincing. Both parts wanted alcohol, at least there was one thing she could agree to.

"You could've called when you were buying that dress. You had enough free time to do that."

"Again, with the dress." She couldn't help but laugh but was thankful to look away from his intoxicating gaze. 

"I _really_ like the dress. It's hard to stop thinking about it actually."

"You might be obsessed with it." Scarlett joked. What was happening to her? He's not single. She had to remind herself over and over of that. Even then neither was she technically. Or available. Or something. Her thoughts were clouded. The last thing she should do was drag Tony into her mess anyway. He seemed to want to make a mess with her, but did that really give her the right to get him involved? It was complicated. She'd sworn after getting S.H.I.E.L.D. involved she wouldn't get anyone else involved. But now she wanted to. 

"I think I might be. This isn't Dior, is it?" He let go of her right hand so he could tug on the skirt of her dress. Scarlett grabbed his wrist and he laughed, trying to pull away. "God, you're strong. That's really hot, you know that right? Is this on purpose? Because you have no idea how much it's working."

"You do realize that there are _other_ designers besides Dior. Lots of them actually." Scarlett let go of his wrist but couldn't help but be a little giddy. The air around him was toxic. He would've said the same about her. Why was he hesitating? This was a no brainer. She wasn't running away. If he just lifted her up, he could carry her off to somewhere quiet and he doubted she would stop him.

"Maybe I just _really_ like Dior."

"You might really like _something_ but it isn't Dior _._ " Scarlett joked but her heart was beating so fast she swore she was going to pass out. She had to keep insisting it was a side effect of the medicine. The idea that it could possibly be Tony was terrifying. It couldn't be him. That was ridiculous. And he wasn't single. She couldn't quite remember why she was there anymore anyway. There was a theater right? It was hard to focus. It had been so long since Scarlett had something she really wanted. Why did it have to be _this_ that she wanted? It didn't make sense. He wasn't even Scarlett's type.

_He wasn't single._ That seemed like the most important reason. It wouldn't be the worst thing Scarlett had done.

"Do I?" Tony could do it. He _could_. She was right there. Scarlett wasn't pulling away, wasn't backing down. He was still holding her hand. Just one step and she'd be practically pressed up against him. It wasn’t the dress he liked or Dior, oh no. He knew _exactly_ what he liked, exactly what he wanted. Slowly he readjusted his feet, inching closer to her. He could feel her breath. She placed her hand on his chest, it was warm even through his suit. Why did she do that? Tony adjusted his hand in hers and made a motion to pull her closer.

Eyes transfixed he finally committed to it. He'd deal with the consequences later. For once his mind wasn't focusing on a thousand things at once. Just one, or two, those lips practically waiting for him. The scraping sound of metal rattled their thoughts.

"Is everything alright out here?" The door to the theater opened and an usher stuck his head out. Instantly Scarlett pulled from Tony's grip and cleared her throat. There was a cling in the back of it and she swore that she was going to be sick. Had she been holding her breath that whole time? She hadn't noticed but suddenly she couldn't catch it again. Tony was cursing mentally over and over but then nodded his head to the usher who seemed worried when neither of them answered. God _damnit_ , the timing. The fog around him lifted, the moment was gone. He didn't want it to be, but the damage had been done. They'd both come to their senses. On top of that Scarlett was pale.

"Yeah, I was just creating a scene. No worries! Go back to your job." Tony laughed and turned toward Scarlett to get confirmation from her.

"I've got to use the powder room." She cleared her throat again and then took off without another word. Never had she ran so quickly to a bathroom before. Once inside she pushed open every stall to check for other occupants. Sure she was alone Scarlett leaned against the far wall and took deep breaths. Her heart was still racing so hard that her chest hurt. Resting her hand on her chest she counted. Still below one hundred beats per minute so it wasn't tachycardia. What the hell was she doing? What was she thinking? She _hadn't_ been thinking, not even a little. There had been thoughts but all of them had been mistakes.

If that usher hadn't come out what would she have done? Maybe she was losing her mind. Maybe it was nothing. Her stomach churned and she ran into the closest stall. So much for not throwing up after Jemma's new treatment. Everything hurt, she was sore from head to toe. It was a brutal reminder of what she really felt. It took her several minutes but she steadied herself with either side of the stall, hands trembling. Thank god the theater was relatively clean.

Slowly she made her way to the sinks. She rinsed out her mouth and then looked at herself in the mirror. She was pale and sickly looking again. The cling in her throat was worse and the way her heart was beating wasn't doing her any favors. In her head she could hear Jinx's warning. The dark haired stranger was going to bring romance into her life. Could these stupid feelings all be caused by that? Maybe it wasn't the medicine after all making her sick tonight. Anxiety had that effect on her sometimes.

"Curse that voodoo witch and her stupid predictions." Scarlett muttered beneath her breath. Her fingers were numb now and curling against her will. Some of this was definitely panic. She recognized it now. What had triggered it? Was it Tony? It had to be. Nothing else made sense.

She was being stupid. He was just a man… a man she was incredibly attracted to even after she'd tried to convince herself it was nothing. To make matters worse it seemed he felt the same kind of attraction. Either that or he was just screwing with her to an incredible degree.

With a deep breath, Scarlett managed to regain the feeling in her fingers. Her stomach was still in knots but she was at last certain she wasn't going to be sick again. Carefully she reapplied her makeup and made sure she didn't look a complete mess in the mirror. How long had she been hiding? It was hard to embrace the concept of time when her thoughts were so conflicted.

Carefully she peeked out of the bathroom and found no one waiting for her. She smoothed out her dress again, straightened her posture and started slowly toward the theater. Maybe Tony hadn't waited for her. Maybe he'd felt as stupid as she had after their close call and had gone back to his seat. She couldn't be so lucky.

"You okay?" Tony walked from the other end of the hall. "I was going to go back in there but I decided to wait for you. Sounded like you got something caught in your throat… I wanted to make sure you were alright."

"Yeah, usher scared the hell out of me. Choked on my own spit or something." Scarlett cleared her throat again. Hopefully he would think that was a real thing but the excuse sounded stupid even to her.

"Here, let me help." Tony held up his hand and then walked across the room. He disappeared around the corner and Scarlett waited. She shouldn't be out there with him anymore. She should at least try to watch the rest of the play. Nathan had to have noticed she was gone by now. Seconds later Tony came back with a bottle of water. "Here you go." He held it out for her and she took it gratefully. "You sure you're okay?" Maybe he'd overstepped a boundary, but Tony didn't care. He'd lived in the moment for the first time in ages. For once, he didn't feel the need to plan out every bit of his night. He couldn't have imagined what was happening with Scarlett, and he wasn't even sure _what_ was going on really, but it was fun. He liked it. He wanted more. That was enough for him.

"We should ditch this place." Scarlett guzzled the water, grateful for it. Maybe she really had just had something caught in her throat. Still, her hands were shaking and going numb on and off. She couldn't imagine that was caused by choking. The tightness in her chest, sure, but not the numbness and racing thoughts. "You're right. I hate this."

"I _knew_ it!" Tony smirked but then nodded toward the doors. "We'll suffer together. You're here to support your friend. I'm an ass for making it about me."

"You are." Scarlett finished off the water bottle and then tossed it in the trashcan.

"Shall we?" Tony held out his arm for her to take and she rolled her eyes.

"Keep dreaming, gropey." Scarlett walked past him into the theater. With a smile he watched her go and then followed behind her back to their seats.


	19. The Measuring Stick

Uproarious applause echoed through the theater as the players returned to the stage after the curtain had at last dropped. Victoriously they took bow after bow, each cast member receiving their well deserved accolades. Standing ovations, shouts of praise; it seemed to last an eternity. Or at least that's what it felt like to Scarlett. Before anyone in the audience even made an attempt to file out of the theater Tony was swarmed left and right. Half the theater seemingly had found their way to gather around the billionaire in hopes to shake his hand and greet him. Tony was _loving_ it. Joy practically radiated off of him, only drawing more people to his side.

Scarlett was a strange mixture of disappointed and relieved to have been pushed away from him by the crowd. It wasn't often that she _wasn't_ thrust into the limelight these days. She watched only for a moment as the sea of onlookers overtook him. Tony dealt with the attention far better than she did. Scarlett never had been good with stupid questions. When she responded with the same sarcasm Tony did it came off cold and heartless. There was just something about him.

She found herself staring as he ate up the attention of the crowd. Was this really the same man who had been so suffering in silence only days before? Huddling on the stairs, he'd been gripping his hair so hard his knuckles had been white As he laughed she found herself smiling. It _was_ the same man. He was finding himself again. Realizing what she was doing, Scarlett cleared her throat and turned away before anyone could notice.

Quickly waiting became boring so Scarlett meandered her way past the crowd and into the hall where she'd had her close call with Tony. From there she descended the stairs then was led by an usher to a parlor. It was decorated to the nines. Pearls, doilies, lace; Scarlett was reminded of an earlier era. There were men in tuxedos carrying trays of decadent hors d'oeuvres and champagne meandering through the few who had made it past the crowd. Half the guests were still in the theater, chatting away with other socialites. There were just enough people for Scarlett to hide amongst without being too bothered.

More than anything else, Scarlett wanted a drink. 

Then again, she wondered how bad an idea that would be after already having a close call with Tony upstairs. Or maybe it hadn't been as close a call as she had thought and she would be just fine. Maybe all that sexual tension was in her head. It seemed much sillier when she was no longer practically pressed up against him. Besides, it took more than a drink or two to lower her inhibitions _that_ far.

Why was she there again? 

It didn't have anything to do with Tony, that was right. Scarlett blanked for a moment as she meandered amongst the crowd, giving polite nods to those who greeted her and ignoring those who stared at her dress. Stopping to gaze toward a decorative fountain at the far end of the room, Scarlett tried to recollect what her mind had long since lost.

_Nathan!_

That was right. She was there to see _Nathan_. God, how could she have forgotten? Was Tony Stark really that damn intoxicating and distracting? No, that couldn't be it. Scarlett was just distracted in general and it had very little to do with Tony Stark or Jinx's stupid predictions. Natasha had thrown her off her game. Had confusion been one of the side effects Jemma had mentioned in the paperwork? Scarlett couldn't remember. Besides, she hadn't felt much else since then. Nonchalantly Scarlett looked over her shoulder in search of the redhead. Natasha was there somewhere. Watching. Waiting. Whatever, Scarlett was going to try to keep that from ruining her night.

Scarlett scanned the growing crowd for Nathan but didn't have to look very long to find him. Coming down the stairs was the entire cast and everyone in the parlor turned and applauded them once again. It only lasted a moment before the stars separated and mingled amongst the crowd. There were many pats on the back and congratulations on such a good turnout for each of them. The donation goal for the night had very much been met, all that was left to do now was for the donators to enjoy the party that was held for them. 

Nathan wove his way through the crowd, searching. It only took seconds for him to find Scarlett and so before she even had a drink in hand, Scarlett started toward him. He had a big smile on his face and it was clear to her that he hadn't noticed that she'd left the show even for a second. There was no disappointment on his face, only pride, and excitement. He was genuinely happy to see her. It was sweet.

"It seems like congratulations are in order." Scarlett nodded as he came within earshot. He stopped to excuse himself after he bumped into a woman walking past him and then nodded. 

"Well, I appreciate them but it was truly a pleasure to perform tonight."

"It showed." Scarlett laughed though to be honest she hadn't enjoyed the show very much until Tony had shown up. She would never tell Nathan that though. Or Tony. "No, honestly. You deserve all the accolades you receive Nathan. You're wonderful."

"Coming from you, Scarlett, that means the world." He bowed his head politely and then took in the extravagant parlor. Nathan was high on life and for a second Scarlett wanted to tell him to run. If he wanted to stay that happy he had to get far, far away from her. "Did you enjoy the show? I know you aren't the biggest fan of Shakespeare but surely you must have some appreciation for Hamlet! It's a classic. Of all of old Bill's works it is by far one of the most relatable."

"Of course I enjoyed it. How could I not?" Scarlett lied through her teeth. Shakespeare was boring. Except for MacBeth. That was a story Scarlett rather enjoyed but it was the only exception for her.

"Really? I mean, I know you have come to many of my shows since we met…"

"I have been a real sport about it all, haven't I?" Scarlett joked.

"But Hamlet really is a tried and true tale of betrayal! And yet of conscience. I love playing the tortured Hamlet, the prince who cannot seem to get his revenge…"

"Oh, I can tell. You have a thing for tortured characters." Scarlett teased. "And you play the role well, Nathan. I'm glad you invited me tonight. It's been nice. Shakespeare would be proud." Scarlett couldn't help but inflate his ego. Nathan was obviously flattered and even shied away but then his expression changed.

"Would he? _Really?_ " First came Tony's voice and soon he joined Scarlett, standing next to her, hands again in his pockets, a confident smile on his face. "I'm not so sure."

"Nathan, I'm so sorry for what's about to happen." Scarlett winced and swallowed the lump that rose instantly into her throat. Tony was going to make a scene. She could _feel_ it. Something about the way he stood next to her gave Scarlett that distinct feeling of trouble. Was he _jealous_? He had no right to be.

"Sorry?" Nathan chuckled and then smiled brightly at Tony. "I didn't expect to see you here, Mr. Stark. This is the other side of the country for you! It's an honor to have you at _my_ show." 

"This is exactly the sort of event I show up for, regardless of locale." Tony held out his hand to shake. "And _you_ are?"

"Nathan Richardson. You probably recognize me as Hamlet." 

"Tony Stark." Tony cleared his throat. "It's a pleasure to meet you… what did you say it was again? Nicholas?"

"Nathan." He corrected with a sly grin. The two shook hands far longer than necessary and gripped far too tight.

"I didn't mean to interrupt whatever you two were doing. I just saw Scarlett. She seemed bored and I figured I'd come offer her a life raft." Tony didn't look away from Nathan.

"I wasn't bored…" Scarlett began but was surprised when Nathan spoke over her.

"I can see how a man of your _stature_ would mistake such excitement for boredom! After all, we've heard tales of your experiences with the fairer sex. I assure you that Scarlett can handle herself. She has never needed to make excuses, not with me at least. I can see how you would think that though, being who you are." Nathan too had his gaze locked on Tony. Scarlett placed her hand on her hip and sighed. For someone who was the topic of conversation they sure didn't seem to care if she actually participated.

"Oh yes, trust me, I'm well aware just how well Scarlett can handle herself, Neal."

"It's Nathan, truly not that hard a name."

"You know how it is, you meet hundreds of people at things like this it slips in one ear and out the other." Tony couldn’t help but take a dig at the actor and stroke his own ego at the same time. "I spent the last twenty minutes shaking hands with people eager to meet me, so you must understand how it is."

"Believe me. I understand that more than you know. Headlining a show and all that has an effect. That's my life practically every night."

"Headlining?" Tony pretended not to recognize Nathan and for a second Scarlett thought the actor was going to pounce. Only seconds ago he'd told Tony exactly who he was and what role he'd played and still Tony felt the need to antagonize. Nathan looked unusually ruffled and it was not a flattering look for him.

"Yes, Hamlet, starring Nathan Richardson. _I_ am Nathan Richardson. Hamlet. Surely you recognize me. Or perhaps you were too wrapped up in your ego to notice. I've heard you like to be the center of attention but the spotlight wasn't shining on you tonight." Nathan did his best to sound polite, which was easy considering his sweet accent but there was such a bite to his words that even Scarlett felt uncomfortable. She knew that she could stop them if need be. She could put them both in their place but what did it matter? What were they even bickering over anyway? So far it was to see which one of them had the bigger head and as far as Scarlett could tell, neither was winning. She was reminded of two roosters fighting for rule over the hen house. The mental image was an amusing distraction.

"Maybe it's all the makeup, made you look all feminine. Hard to tell outside of the tights and puffy sleeves, Niko. A suit is far more appropriate. A little too tight up here though, maybe I should give you the name of my tailor."

"Tell me, Tony, how is it you know Scarlett anyway?" Nathan took a step closer, back straightened and looking as confident as ever. He wasn't as tall as Tony but his personality filled up the room just as well. Tony, however, was not easily intimidated. In the battle of egos he rarely lost.

"Well, he's actually a…" Scarlett began, hoping she could diffuse the pissing match by speaking about business. Nathan liked business, especially her business. So did Tony. Maybe they could find common ground. She doubted it. They were far too content with digging at each other. Nathan was a far different pill to swallow than Tony was. They were like oil and water and she was sure they'd never mix. 

"I offered her a position at Stark Industries in Malibu." Tony spoke over her, seemingly not even realizing she'd spoken and yet remaining oddly close to her. "I could offer her _several_ positions I'm sure." He couldn't help himself. It was too easy a joke and Nathan was so obviously jealous of any male attention Scarlett received that he was an easy target. He was quickly falling prey to Tony who oozed with confidence. "I'm not sure if you're the kind of guy who realizes this, Norman but there is _more_ than just the one position."

"Seriously, Tony?" Scarlett sighed and thought she saw a smile on his lips just for her but he never looked away from Nathan. "I think that's a little…"

"Everyone knows that all the positions at Stark are already appropriately filled." Nathan's eyes were sparkling with jealousy and he made no attempts to hide it. They were both talking a bit higher pitched than usual, trying their best to keep civil tones. Even Tony seemed a little ruffled now. The mention of Pepper had done him in.

"I know positions that you've never even heard of, pretty boy."

"Oh really? I hear that you're kind of an open book when it comes to that. Or wait, no, aren't you some kind of recluse now? The papers are spinning wild theories about where you've gone. Seems to me you've lost your thunder. Maybe that's why you're here. Trying to steal some of Scarlett's."

"You can't quite believe everything the newspaper say about relationships or talent really. It's all very telling if you read between the lines." Tony cocked an eyebrow and Nathan readjusted his footing and buttoned his jacket. He'd practically taken a swing at the shorter actor.

Scarlett was tired of being over shadowed. If she could she'd knock them both in the stomach and drag them out back to tell them what she thought of their egos. Unfortunately that would _absolutely_ make the tabloids so she was forced to keep her thoughts to herself. It didn't mean she had to sit around and keep listening to them go on and on. Scarlett peered around the room for something better to do. _Anything_ was better than this.

"If I read between the lines then I'd say you're hiding something, Stark."

"Is that so, Neilson?"

"Maybe you should get your head checked since you can't remember a name as simple as mine. It's only six letters."

"I don't make a habit of remembering the part time celebrities. What's the point? Every year there's a new one of you. Pretty and semi-talented. You come a dime a dozen."

"If it weren't for Scarlett then your name wouldn't be in the paper at all. Maybe genius fades with time. And for the record, I don't plan on going anywhere."

"Sure you don't. Besides I've been busy working on something big."

"Your ego?"

"Trust me, it's bigger than my ego, pretty boy."

"I was going to take Scarlett to dinner." Nathan nodded toward the side and smiled confidently. "Why don't you join us so we can continue this conversation? I'm sure she can settle this for us." Nathan glared at Tony and didn't blink. Tony did the same and they sat in silence for a long moment, waiting for the other to look away.

"Why don't we let Scarlett decide? What do you say? You want to go to dinner with this stuffy Brit or…" Tony stopped in mid-sentence when he looked to his side. Scarlett was nowhere to be found. Nathan did a double take then looked all around him in search of her. "Scarlett?" Tony actually laughed out loud. It was just like her to bail while they puffed their chests to see who would back down first. Tony wasn't sure who won, but it didn't much matter if Scarlett wasn't there to congratulate the winner.

Truth be told Scarlett didn't care who won. She'd stopped listening long ago and had gone off in search of a bar where she could be left alone. There were several set up all around the parlor so she was sure she'd have no problem finding a drink. Nathan was acting possessive which Scarlett didn't find at _all_ attractive. They weren't _dating_. Half the world seemed to be fooled into thinking they were but in all honestly she hadn't done as much as offer him a kiss on the cheek. Nathan had simply thought he'd wooed his way into her arms and that hadn't been true. Yes, he was charming, talented, handsome, sweet, but Scarlett wasn't looking for any of that.

Simply put: Scarlett didn't care.

She _just_ didn't care. How many times had she said she wasn't looking for a relationship to just about everyone? How many times would she have to say it and to who to make it clear? She didn't think there was any way to make people stop caring about her romantic life. That was what the people wanted, right? Gossip, drama, romance, danger! So what was it that Scarlett actually cared about? Right now Scarlett cared about a drink. Nothing more than that.

Scarlett leaned against the bar in the lobby, deciding against remaining in the parlor. It would be too easy to be found. The boys would pull her back into their vortex of ego and sexual innuendo soon enough and she hoped to push it off just a bit longer.

"She wants scotch. Just one ice cube." Natasha leaned against the bar next to Scarlett who heaved a sigh. The bartender looked to her for confirmation and Scarlett gestured her agreement.

"She's right. I do. Balvenie 12 year if you have it."

"Whiskey sour for me." Natasha waited for the bartender to turn away and pour their drinks before looking back toward Scarlett who was staring at the alcohol. She opened her mouth to speak but Scarlett stopped her, holding her hand up.

"Don't ask me if I'm okay, I'm tired of it. I'm _fine._ If you ask me again, I swear I'm going to spontaneously combust." Scarlett side eyed her.

"I was actually going to ask you what Stark was doing here. I had reports he was still in Malibu earlier this morning. So it comes as a bit of a surprise to see him."

"Well, _someone_ isn't doing their job then because he is here and obnoxiously loud." Scarlett thanked the bartender and then turned away before she took a long drink. Figured that S.H.I.E.L.D. would be watching Tony too. "He's here for the same reason I'm here. Charity and all that. Despite the ego I hear he's a pretty charitable guy."

"I think he's here because _you're_ here." Natasha did the same and sipped her drink. The two women sat in silence for a long moment. Scarlett knew Natasha had something to say and she had a clue as to what, but was going to savor what could have very well been a moment sharing a drink with her friend. She stared into her scotch. God, she was filled with self pity. _Enough._ Scarlett was tired of feeling so damn tired. Natasha made her feel like she was dying constantly. It was the only time Scarlett was forced to face her mortality.

"What do you want, Natasha?"

"What does Stark know?" 

"You have to be more specific. I'm sure he knows _plenty_ of things. Genius or something like that." Scarlett took another sip from the glass. She managed a smile and Natasha at last relaxed. Maybe they could speak on a more casual level than they had earlier. There, that was something within Scarlett's control. She wasn't _totally_ powerless.

"You know what I mean. How much does he know about what he shouldn't know about?" Natasha even laughed. If it was an act she could have fooled Scarlett.

"I think you're just here to get some gossip for that weird phone chain you guys have set up."

"Maybe I am."

"Well, you're going to be disappointed. He doesn't know anything." Scarlett yawned and stretched. Sitting still in the dark for so long had been taxing. She wanted a nice long nap. "He's just doing what he does best."

"And that is?" Natasha rose an eyebrow curiously, mischief behind her eyes.

"Don't say it like that! God you and Jinx, little perverts, that's what you are. He's just being a nuisance is what I meant." Scarlett rolled her eyes but she actually felt a little nervous. That was twice in one night that Tony Stark had left her nervous and this time he wasn't even there. Why was Scarlett letting him have this hold on her? She had to get her act together.

"Is that why you're so flustered?"

" _Flustered?_ "

"Yeah."

"I am _not_ flustered." Scarlett scoffed at once. "He is genuinely here to annoy me. Honestly, he came in and made a big scene in the front row! I had to drag him out of the theater and he was just… god, so frustrating! Now he's off in the other room measuring dick size with Nathan. This is not the face of a flustered woman. This is the face of a woman who is frustrated she can't use her very specific set of skills in order to put a man in his place!"

" _Oh._ "

"Oh? That’s it? _Oh?_ " 

"Yeah…" Natasha watched her friend thoughtfully then took a sip of her drink before speaking again. "I get it. You like him."

" _Seriously?_ " Scarlett practically squealed as she choked on her drink. It burned the back of her throat and she coughed. "Did you listen to any of the words coming out of my mouth?"

"All of them and the ones you didn't actually say. You're all frazzled… tensing up. It's written all over your face." Natasha held her glass to Scarlett before sipping again at her drink, a smile on her lips. She readjusted the bag over her shoulder that Scarlett caught a quick glance of. Something glistened just inside the zipper. Scarlett guessed it was probably a gun. 

"I'm not getting involved with anyone."

"Looks like that's going really well."

"Especially Stark."

"Well that makes sense." Natasha nodded but was still giving her that stupid smile.

"He's taken."

"I wasn't sure you cared about that." 

"You're a real mean girl sometimes." Scarlett nursed her drink, before daintily picking up the ice cube and chucking it in the trash. 

"Look, I'm just being honest with you, Scarlett!" Natasha began carefully. "Don't you remember the Hunter?"

"Kinda hard to forget when you keep reminding me of him."

"I recall a night in a bar where I had to find out…" Natasha opened her mouth to continue but Scarlett held up her hand again.

"I lived it, stop reminding me."

"I'm just _saying_ that your moral compass has very rarely pointed north. Especially when it comes to romance."

"You're right." With a heavy sigh, Scarlett tapped her fingers against the glass in her hand. "I'm too busy for that kind of thing these days. It's different now."

"You never _used_ to be too busy. Remember? You used to tell me it was a good way to take out frustration."

"Yes, thank you Natasha for reminding me of my juvenile promiscuity. In case you didn't notice things are kind of changing for me. I'm not _looking_ for anything. Not even Stark for fun which I'm sure he'd be tons of. And definitely not Nathan, again who would also probably be fun. He's very sweet but already a little too clingy for my tastes. Plus he really doesn't know much about me, does he?"

"He doesn't. Well, he knows a bit. You're still the same woman technically even in the shadows."

"Yes, but without all the guns, violence, alcohol… well, I guess _fun._ You took all my fun and left me with just alcohol."

"It's for your own good." 

"For the record I regret very little about my twenties." 

"Good." Natasha held her drink up in a cheer and then took a sip from it. They sat in silence again but it didn't last long. Scarlett suddenly felt somber.

"He's okay, right? He has to be. He's _always_ okay." Scarlett whispered as discreetly as she could. Natasha nodded and Scarlett sighed with relief.

"He wanted to help. Offered to be security detail." Natasha knew Scarlett was referring to an old friend, the Hunter. "We told him that was a bad idea. Then he went dark."

"Thanks." Scarlett was glad to hear that at the very least. Thankfully most of the people she'd affiliated with in the past could care for themselves. Finally there was a little good news. "Why the third degree about Stark anyway?"

"We're considering giving you fieldwork." Natasha nodded and adjusted her bag again. She was uncomfortable wearing it, Scarlett could tell. It wasn't that Natasha felt out of her element, just with the bag she was holding. Her discomfort was subtle but Scarlett could sense it plain as day.

"This sounds like the beginning of a really mean joke."

"I'm serious." Natasha nodded her head. "I spoke with Nick Fury and we argued a bit."

"So you stood up to Papa Fury for me, huh?"

"I don't like _that_."

"I don't care." Scarlett smirked and then sipped her drink. "It's about time. I'm good in the field."

"I know that. That's why we argued. Your numbers aren't great these days but you're holding together so well I think it's fair that you be allowed to keep moving. Do what you're good at. I can't guarantee that you're going to be handed any actual work but I'm pushing for you." Natasha didn't smile or turn away but Scarlett thought she looked almost bashful for a second. Some people thought Natasha was carved from stone. Scarlett knew she was far from ice. People like Natasha felt deeper than anyone realized. They were just better at hiding it.

"Alright." Scarlett didn't make a big deal out of it. She felt like she should, but she didn't. Now wasn't really the place or the time. Still, she should say _something_.

"Postpone the job in Malibu if you're seriously considering it. Stay in Boston as long as you can." Natasha instructed. "But avoid Mr. New York if possible."

"That could be difficult but I'll manage." Scarlett was sure she could push Nathan off for a bit, particularly if she said something positive to him about Tony. He was easy to lie to anyway. "Can I ask why? Are you jealous?"

"Obviously I want to keep you for myself."

"I _knew_ it!" Scarlett snapped her fingers. "That's just what the gossip rags needed, a story about a saucy redhead."

" _Saucy?_ "

"I haven't had enough liquor yet, give it time. I'll come up with better adjectives."

"Realistically we want some of the heat off of Nathan. He needs to be out of your limelight for a little while." Natasha spoke and Scarlett knew at once what she meant. She didn't want Nathan to become a target for MedCo. That was right. People close to Scarlett got into trouble and if Nathan appeared to be any source of attachment for her, there was a chance Scott would go after him.

"There was a time you were encouraging me to date him."

"Yeah, I know but that was before... We got some information claiming that Scott is finally on American soil. We're just being careful for now. If they're planning something we want to keep them on their toes." Natasha went out of her way to sound reassuring but Scarlett could read between the lines. Strangely enough today she could handle it. Recently even the mere mention of Scott's name had driven her crazy, made her sick.

It was a tough realization but she'd finally begun to come to terms with it. That monster _was_ Scott. Denial wasn't helping anyone but the bad guys so Scarlett had forced herself to sit and repeat his name in her alone hours. Hearing it didn't hurt as terribly anymore, though she still felt that stab of something in her stomach. Natasha was watching her to see if she had another fit, if she spaced out in a panic, if she lost her breath, but none of those things happened. It had been a test. Scarlett merely nodded.

"I can handle that. To an extent." Scarlett finished her drink and set the glass down on the bar before handing cash to the bartender for both her drink and Natasha's. She sat on one of the stools there and Natasha joined her, setting her bag down on the bar next to her with her hand still carefully on top of it.

"Good."

"Hey, about earlier." Scarlett began but Natasha stopped her.

"You don't have to say anything."

"Yeah, I do. I was a bitch." Scarlett nodded and held her hand up to stifle any objections. "And I know frequently am, you don't have to remind me. I'm struggling having a babysitter. It's not your fault and I took it out on you anyway. I'm frustrated. All the ways I used to take out frustration are illegal or will end up in the paper. So I'm a _little_ bitchy lately." Scarlett managed a small smile. "I didn't mean to be so… whatever that was."

"It's okay. I get it."

"I want my life back, Tasha." 

"I know." Natasha set down her drink and then tapped her foot for a moment. It seemed she had something on her mind but wasn't quite sure how to say it or even if she should. Scarlett could read Natasha better than most people but only because she'd been just as good a liar for just as long. In a way Scarlett felt like they were kindred spirits. Or maybe she was the only one who had ever been able to relate to what Scarlett was now going through. The transformation wasn't exactly a typical one. 

"You shouldn't linger. They're going to be back any second now…" Scarlett gave Natasha her out but much to her surprise, it wasn't taken. 

"I've been over protective."

"Yeah, I know."

"I've never been in this position before." Natasha gritted her teeth. "I've never had a _friend_ … or someone I actually care about slipping away in front of me like this." Natasha reluctantly looked back to Scarlett who didn't quite know what to say. She didn't feel like she was slipping away. But someone as analytical as Natasha could often be had done the research, read the medical reports and that's precisely what she saw. "You're not the only person this is difficult for."

"I know that." Scarlett wanted to crack a joke but for once in her life she resisted. "Hey… I'm okay." She smiled and gestured toward herself. "I'm _really_ okay. This isn't just an act tonight. Have some faith in me." Scarlett held out an arm and gave her a smile. "Come on… we're gonna hug. You know you want to."

"That's not necessary."

"Shut up and let me hug you." Scarlett pulled the redhead into an embrace regardless of whether or not she wanted it. Natasha returned the gesture and seemed at once grateful for it. Scarlett's eyes fell to the bag that Natasha had let go of, just for a second. There was a gun in the bag as expected, but it wasn't what intrigued Scarlett. No, there was a small USB key there as well. Scarlett quickly slipped her fingers within the purse, removed the key and hid it in the palm of her hand.

Natasha made to pull from the hug and Scarlett did the same, holding the key still in her palm until she could hide it further within her dress.

"There, feel better?"

"No, I basically just felt you up." Natasha shook her head. "Hard to hug you in that dress without doing that."

"I look damn good in this dress and I _feel_ damn good in this dress so stop staring at my boobs and get over it." Scarlett laughed but she felt the guilt wrench her stomach. It was like she'd swallowed a ton of bricks. There she was apologizing to Natasha, exchanging actual _feelings_ and stealing from her in the same breath. Scarlett knew deep down that S.H.I.E.L.D. wasn't going to hand her any fieldwork. If she wanted any sort of insight she'd have to get it the old fashioned way. 

She really _could_ be a bitch. 


	20. Green

Scarlett didn't have to feel guilty for too long. Natasha heard the familiar voice of Tony Stark and did what she did best. The Black Widow disappeared into the crowd, blended in, and vanished behind someone so that even Scarlett couldn't find her. She laughed under her breath, watching her friend go. The past didn't seem so far away in moments like that. She then turned her attention to Tony who had Nathan right on his heels. Scarlett could tell their pissing match was nowhere near its end so she took a long sip of a second drink she'd ordered only seconds before. There wasn't enough scotch in the world to help her deal with this mess.

"Hey, I was thinking we could go grab a slice. I've never been the type for this overly complicated crap they're serving at these things. Fish eggs, eel whatever, gross." Tony gestured vaguely toward the streets of Boston. "I know some places here that make a _great_ pie. There's one not too far from here either, I think. Kinda like fate, you might say." He was smiling a mile wide while Nathan looked worse for wear. One of them was clearly enjoying their little tiff more than the other and it was made very clear which one of them was winning.

Once again as Scarlett opened her mouth, Nathan spoke over her and she was none too happy about it. She was tired of being ignored.

"Excuse me, Stark, but we already had plans to go out tonight. You can't just show up and expect everyone to drop everything for you."

"I was asking Scarlett, not you Nelson."

"It's Nathan, for the last bloody time!"

"Don't lose your temper, I'm just giving you a hard time. Yeesh, no sense of humor this one." Tony shook his head but still smiled. "So… pizza?" Tony asked Scarlett again and even he twitched when Nathan responded.

"You think you can come to my show, my event and just… take over? You're ruining the whole damned thing!"

"I was asking Scarlett a question and while she has a pretty sultry voice you're a bit more baritone than what I'm looking for." Tony narrowed his eyes playfully.

"Scarlett we have reservations at a very nice Italian place after the party! Don't tell me you're considering this ludicrous offer." Both men stayed silent and waited for her to finally address them but instead she simply stared at them. When time passed they even exchanged glances then looked to Scarlett expectantly once more.

"Oh, so I get to talk now?" Scarlett acted surprised and even Tony gave an apologetic smile.

"You know how much I love the sound of my own voice." Tony nodded but there was a note of sarcasm as he spoke. He pointed toward Nathan. "Don't know what _his_ problem is."

"So what will it be? We had _plans_ , Scarlett…" Nathan regained a bit of his composure and managed a charming smile at last. Still, he seemed disheveled. Scarlett had, in a way, put them in their place by both ignoring their argument and drawing attention to the fact that the very person they were practically trying to mark with their scents had no say in the matter.

"I'm actually pretty tired." Scarlett began gently. "I'd prefer to go home. I can make something quick there to eat. Less testosterone involved too." Nathan's face fell and he seemed immediately rejected. Scarlett felt guilty again. "It's not a contest guys. I'm just really tired. Shakespeare, which I know is one of your first loves, Nathan, is very taxing for me. After hours sitting through it I need to sleep." Nathan seemed slightly relieved but then tensed up again as Tony spoke.

"By taxing she means boring. Very, very _boring_." Tony whispered and Scarlett threw him a look. Nathan glanced from Tony to Scarlett and while at first he seemed ready to argue with her he relented.

"I get it." Nathan finally calmed and touched her arm gently. "I really do appreciate you coming tonight. It means the world to me. I know you're not the biggest fan of Shakespeare but the fact that you came at all and made such a generous contribution for me means the world." Nathan was his charming self, at least for a minute.

"Thank you. Now if you don’t mind I should get going." Scarlett thought about hugging Nathan but then considered Tony might _also_ expect a hug. For some reason hugging Tony seemed like a very bad idea. Instead she offered a smile, a wave, and started toward the door. Much to her irritation both men followed her out of the theater.

"If you like I can give you a ride home. No need to wait for a car service." Tony suggested nonchalantly, hands in his pockets. The press were only a few feet away and were asking questions but they were easy enough to ignore for the time being. They were always waiting at these sorts of events, just to snap a few glamorous or unflattering pictures. Each hoped for a bit of gossip to type up but that was rare. 

"Seems like a shady offer to me." Scarlett narrowed her eyes but Tony immediately held up his hands.

"No, no _really_. Nothing unsavory, just offering you a ride. I'm not a stranger with candy. Not today. I shouldn't stay too much longer either. It's a long flight home!" He laughed and so Scarlett considered taking him up on the offer. Every part of her logical mind knew it was a bad idea. Natasha told her to back off of Nathan and to push off the job in Malibu. But maybe she didn't quite want that. Since when did she actually have to _listen_ to Natasha? The odds that S.H.I.E.L.D. actually considered giving her fieldwork were astronomical anyway. She liked talking to Tony, it was one of the very few things that she still enjoyed. When they talked, for a few minutes she felt like her old self. It could be that feeling like her old self was destructive, but Scarlett didn't much care. Befriending Tony Stark couldn't possibly be more dangerous than everything else she dealt with on a daily basis.

"Alright. What's the harm?" Scarlett started with Tony down the sidewalk but they both stopped short when Nathan jumped in front of them.

"Are you really leaving with him? After all that?" At first he was quiet, but Nathan had a fire in his eyes. Tony had pushed too many of his buttons and too hard at that.

"Nathan, calm down he's just giving me a ride…"

"Taking you for a ride you mean." Nathan spoke louder and Scarlett winced at once. "You're too good for him, too good to be a mistress! You know that! Why can't you see it? It's like you only fall for trouble! I'm standing right in front of you!"

"Nathan you are crossing a line." Scarlett wanted to break his nose in all honestly. Hell, she wanted to drag them both around a corner and knock their heads together like the Three Stooges. Men were so stupid sometimes, particularly when they were thinking far too hard with something _other_ than their brains. 

"Listen to the woman, this is strictly business." Tony spoke just as loud as Nathan and on purpose. The nearby press stopped trying to draw the attention of other pseudo-celebrities and turned their attention instead to the trio in the midst of their drama. "In case you weren't listening earlier, I'm only looking to work with her. This was a good will gesture. Not everything's an angle."

"Yeah, sure you are. Men travel all the way across the country to _hire_ women. I know what you're doing here and I'm not naïve! Scarlett may be fooled but I see the way you're looking at her!" Nathan shouted.

"Nathan, calm yourself!" Scarlett hissed in a whisper but the press interjected, asking Tony if it was true, if he was having an affair, if his relationship with Pepper was even still existent. They hadn't seen the two of them together since he emerged from his unexplained absence. Tony ignored the press artfully and instead focused on Nathan who had officially blown his stack. Usually over thinking his relationship status with Pepper would send his heart racing but right now he had more to focus on. Problems to solve helped him keep his cool, funny how that worked.

"Men travel all the way across country to work with _this_ woman, alright? Smart people will travel across the ocean to work with this woman. That might not be the kind of businessman _you_ are but that's the kind of business I run. Opportunities like this are once in a lifetime. Just because you can't keep your eyes on the prize, doesn't mean the rest of us are so distracted by that dress."

"So you say! I'm sure you'd say that about every attractive employee you've screwed over the years. She's _not_ stupid like those other women, Stark, and neither am I."

"Nathan, enough!" Scarlett knew that eventually Nathan would lose his cool but couldn't he have done it ten minutes ago when they at least hadn't been in front of cameras? She knew what she'd see in the gossip rag tomorrow, that's for sure. At least no one would be questioning her health anymore. Besides, she was tired of this turning into a comparison between her and other women. She wasn't any different than anyone else, at least in that respect. Once again, it wasn't a contest.

"Does that mean you two are breaking up?" A reporter shouted to Nathan and others asked similar questions. 

"Has she cheated on you?"

"We saw her with a redheaded woman several times!"

"There are reports she's seeing others in secret."

"Enough!" Scarlett snapped at the press and much to her surprise, Tony pulled Nathan aside but closer to the press. She watched in frustration as everything seemed to drag on in front of her. Scarlett hated this kind of drama. It was so tedious. If she could shoot it, she would. 

"Look, Nathan, you're right." Tony made no attempts to speak quietly but the actor was still tense and looked ready to throw a punch. Scarlett was sure that Nathan could start a fight but was even more positive that Tony would be the one to finish it. He was Iron Man after all. Sometimes Scarlett forgot that. 

"I know! I've been trying to call you out on it all evening!"

"You're right but not in the way you're thinking. Yeah, I flew across country to see her, _not_ your show. I came to talk to her because she hasn't yet gotten back to me about the job offer I made her last week and I am an impatient son of a bitch. I like to get what I want when I want it." He spoke so sincerely and with such an urgent gaze that Nathan finally relaxed a little. He stopped and took in his surroundings suddenly realizing the scene he'd made in front of the press. He hadn't even realized they'd been there watching. Instead he'd been worried about Scarlett making a mistake and jealous that she might make it with someone who wasn't him.

" _Really?_ " Nathan didn't want to believe it. He wanted to make a villain out of Tony Stark but he didn't want to do it with Scarlett standing next to him and cameras flashing to catch his jealousy at every angle. Right now, Nathan was the jealous boyfriend in the eyes of the media and Tony was playing it cool.

"You put on a fantastic show tonight even if I _was_ a little bored. That's not your fault, I have a terrible attention span. Something about being spoiled, I never listen when people rattle on about me like that." Tony pointed down the street. "I'm going home now. It's late. But I thought I'd give Scarlett a ride before I did because I can tell she's tired too. My car is already here, she'd have to wait for one." 

"I can handle myself. I've had enough of _this_ … for the night… and forever, really." Scarlett gestured between them and then turned without another word. The press started after her and she grunted in annoyance.

"Hey, if anyone wants a real story, you should ask this guy about whether or not he's purchasing the theater." Tony watched Scarlett disappear through the crowd. People didn't want to hear about the theater purchase but they _did_ want to hear about the fight that had apparently been going on all night long between the two men.

Scarlett walked down the block and while a few photographers had followed her for awhile she made it perfectly clear that she wasn't offering any story of any kind. Stopping around the corner, Scarlett took out her cell phone and checked for any missed calls. There were none and she was partially grateful for that and partially saddened by it. For a second she was relieved to be alone and in the same second lonely. Her night had not played out the way she'd planned but it hadn't gone particularly poorly either. It was sort of a mess, but considering the other messes she'd gotten into in the past, it wasn't so bad. At least there wasn't any blood.

"Hey, are you okay?" Tony had followed her. She was again partially annoyed and partially relieved to be followed. What a conflicting night. Scarlett threw him a look that clearly said how annoyed she was with him.

"Was all that really necessary? This was _his_ big night. Not everything has to be about you. Or me for that matter."

"I know, I know. I'm an ass. Really, I know that. It's a big flaw I guess." Tony laughed and then cleared his throat. The words were sitting on his tongue but he was having a very difficult time getting them out. "About all that… the whole display, all the stuff with Nelson…"

" _Nathan._ And you know that."

"Yeah, him." Tony chuckled. "I'm sorry. It wasn't supposed to be such a big mess. I thought he was taking it a bit better than he really was. When he exploded I kinda realized that I may have hit a nerve or two… or ten." 

"You can't help yourself." Scarlett nodded in understanding. "It's alright. It's just when you guys start to compare dick size it all becomes very boring for me." Scarlett smirked and Tony took a step closer.

"Oh, we didn't do that but I could let you measure just in case. I promise it wouldn't be boring." Tony began. Scarlett couldn't believe he was still flirting with her, after everything. Well, she could believe it, but it still seemed like she should be surprised. They both sighed when Nathan interrupted and exchanged glances of annoyance that made them both laugh.

"Scarlett, there you are! Don't run off like that. Not without a goodbye at least!" He tried to laugh. Nathan hadn't heard what they'd been joking about or Scarlett doubted he would have been in such a good mood. He went to continue, to presumably apologize for being just as stupid as Tony had been but Scarlett stopped him.

"It's fine. You're _both_ fine. Both incredibly stupid, but fine." Scarlett sighed with relief. Nathan did the same. "Look, I really _am_ tired. It wasn't just a line to get away from whatever weird competition you two had going on. I'm going home. I was about to call my driver. I just had to get away from all the cameras before I said something stupid. I'm not as good at keeping it all wrapped up like you guys are."

"I'm sorry. I know you didn't want me to say it but it needed to be said." Nathan spoke sincerely, picking up one of Scarlett's hands and she nodded. Tony envied how easily he could form the words. It had never been in Tony's nature to admit he was wrong even when he knew it was the truth. Sorry was not a word that was readily available in his vocabulary. Even when he'd said it earlier it had sounded fake.

"It's really okay. Look, Tony, I'll talk to you tomorrow about the job in Malibu. Go home and get some sleep." Scarlett then turned to Nathan, partially aware that Tony wasn't _actually_ going anywhere. He wasn't done with her yet. She could tell by the look in his eyes and by the persistence he'd shown thus far. He wanted something from her, Scarlett just wasn't sure what. Part of her _knew_ what it was but another part of her kept denying it. 

"Are you going to lecture me now?" Nathan smiled, hoping to soften the blow.

"No." Scarlett shook her head. "You should go calm down a bit. This was your night and you were amazing."

"You're right. I got caught up with jealousy and it was very foolish of me."

"There's the charming guy I know so well."

"Thank you for coming here to support me tonight. I mean it." Nathan nodded sincerely.

"It's no problem. You were saying earlier about buying a theater and I wanted to say it then but maybe I should say it now… You should buy one in Manhattan. It's a bit more expensive but it'll be better for your career. People travel to Broadway to see a show, not to Boston. Boston's a dead end. For many reasons." Partially Scarlett was hoping to hint for him to cool it on the relationship drama. Nathan was an actor, he could read the subtext like a book.

"I don't know Scarlett. I think Boston has quite a bit going for it. You may not think much of it but I do." Nathan surprised her. Scarlett didn't think he'd fight for her very hard. They both knew they weren't talking about Boston anymore. For a minute they stared but Scarlett felt nothing even when she knew Nathan was melting on the inside. Why did he have to like her so damn much? People didn't usually _like_ her. She was such a pain in the ass, she couldn't blame them. And yet, there was Nathan, this sweet candy of a man, so far into her that she wasn’t sure how to push him away.

"Go enjoy your party." Scarlett reassured him and then turned away with a wave. She picked up her phone again and started back down the street to go meet her driver at a less crowded location. Despite her being a block away, there were still fans, photographers, partygoers, at every turn. People were huddled across the street, whispering about them and trying not to draw attention to themselves. At least they were being discreet.

As predicted she heard footsteps behind her. The gait was familiar and she was pleased with herself for recognizing the way Tony walked. Some of her senses hadn't yet faded despite what S.H.I.E.L.D. seemed to think. She slowed down purposely and waited for him to make a move, looking at her phone and pretending not to notice.

"You know he's doing it for you, right?" Tony finally broke the silence, looking over his shoulder and then back to Scarlett. He wanted to make sure the actor wasn't following them again. That night had been a real blur thus far. It was the first major event he'd attended since the incident that had driven him into hiding in his Malibu home and it was a bit overwhelming. He'd expected some creeping fear, but he'd never expected to feel like his old self. When he'd first arrived he'd almost reconsidered and gotten a hotel instead.

Then he'd thought of Scarlett, of the reports he'd read and how he needed to see her just to make sure she was okay. She was, at least he sort of thought she was. When she'd disappeared into the bathroom earlier he'd worried again. Whatever it was, if anything, she didn't want him or anyone else to know. Tony had decided he would respect that, at least for now. When he'd gotten inside the theater, still he'd been worried. The press had been easier to handle than he'd expected. He avoided questions that made him uncomfortable and had only answered ones that made him laugh. Maybe it wouldn't be such a nightmare getting back to his old life after all.

Tony had always been good at controlling the press. For some reason he'd feared how they'd treat him when he returned. It would have been different if it hadn't been for his involvement with Scarlett. She may not have realized it but she had helped him in more ways than he'd ever thought possible. Momentarily he had been distracted by the argument with Nathan but now his thoughts lingered on their close call in the theater. He knew it would be devastating to his relationship with Pepper if he cheated on her. There would be no chance of friendship after that. And yet when he was close to Scarlett every part of him was screaming to take her, regardless. Tony couldn't do that. No matter how despicable a man he could be at times, he couldn't do that to someone who had once been his best friend.

"You have to be more specific." Scarlett didn't stop walking or turn to face him but she also didn’t tell him to go away. "I don't know why you're suddenly so ambiguous. Usually you don't shut up."

"Nathan." Tony didn't forget his name this time. It had been a ploy to irritate the actor, they both knew it. "He's buying a theater here for _you_. It has nothing to do with his career."

"So?" Scarlett turned to face him and stopped pretending to play on her phone. "What do you care? You've got a girlfriend in Malibu."

"I know that." Tony felt suddenly defensive. For the first time he considered that maybe getting so close to Scarlett was, in fact, hurting her. He'd never considered how it would make her feel. To be so obviously drawn to him and unable to act on it. She probably felt strung along. Nathan's words suddenly didn't seem so far from the truth and Tony felt guilty. Yet he still didn't want to stop either. What kind of man did that make him? Tony didn't know anymore.

"If Nathan wants to be close to me then what is it to you?" Scarlett was hoping he would back down. She needed a reason to think she'd assumed the wrong thing earlier in the theater. Maybe this thing with Tony was all in her head. God, she _hoped_ it was in her head.

"Well, I, uh…" Tony was always good with words. It was kind of his thing. He could charm the pants off of almost anyone. So why was he faltering now? When it mattered? What was he getting at anyway? He couldn't keep a woman who was notorious for having an appetite as big as his from having any relationship she wanted. "He's just too stuffy for you, that's all."

"Oh, is that all? I'm sure you're so concerned with how bored he would make me."

"And if you were really interested you would've bit the bullet with a guy like that already. I mean, handsome, talented, loaded, guy's probably a really good time in the sack. You have no idea how much I hate saying that, but it's probably true."

"What makes you think I haven't already slept with him?" Scarlett responded without batting an eye and Tony scrunched up his face for a moment, hesitating to say what he was really thinking out loud. That he didn't _want_ her to. He had no right to want that.

"You shy away from him." Tony hesitated, but that wasn't the reason he knew. "He's got that… god I want you so bad it's killing me look every time he looks at you. I mean… if I were him," Tony knew that was a dangerous choice of words but went with it anyway, "the moment I saw that dress tonight, I would've spent the rest of the night worshipping you from head to toe." Scarlett didn't act as surprised as she felt.

"You're right." She finally nodded and even laughed a little to try and break the tension that had suddenly bolted between them. There was no switch that was flipped. There was just something there, a spark. "I came here tonight just to support a _friend_." 

"Well he's got it _bad_ for you, Scarlett." Tony was relieved she hadn't taken any of that the wrong way. It could have gone horribly wrong. Once again, Scarlett spared him from looking like a fool in front of her. Little did he know that she found it rather endearing, even if she was trying to repeatedly remind herself that there was no room for this in her life even if he _had_ been single. It was hard not to linger on the idea of being worshipped from head to toe, that went for both of them.

"It's just a school boy crush." She shrugged and glanced down the street, simply to avoid Tony's brown eyes. What truth could be hidden within them? She didn't think she wanted to see it. At least not tonight. Between Nathan, Tony, and Natasha, Scarlett's night felt like chaos. She'd had far more than enough action for now. "Once he realizes I'm not interested he'll have no choice but to back off. Even now it's getting there. He knew I wasn't talking about Boston either."

"And yet he pushed you." Tony kept shoving his hands in his pockets. He was worried they were going to do something without his permission. They had earlier on several occasions. 

"It takes time. I don't see him as frequently as everyone seems to think I do. We rarely talk outside of business and events." Scarlett smoothed out her dress.

"It's not going to stop if you keep showing up dressed like that." Tony laughed and gestured to her and then once again shoved his disobedient hand back in his pocket. 

"God, you're obsessed." Scarlett kept him from responding. "Why is it that you all have to assume I'm dressing up to please some guy? I get it all the time. Who am I trying to impress? No one." Her smile fell for a moment and then she averted her eyes and it returned. "You were right earlier. You should've stuck with that. I wanted to _feel_ good. That's it. I wanted to feel sexy. I wanted for… people to look at me and stop guessing I was pregnant or sick." Tony didn't expect her to be so honest, especially since she had fought against his every opinion earlier. He could tell he frightened her a little when he'd touched on the subject. Still he wasn't sure why, but he knew that she didn't want to elaborate. When she finally did, he would be there. That was if she would let him be. Tony was over thinking Scarlett as a whole. What made him think she would want him to be there for her in any capacity?

They barely knew each other.

Yet Tony felt like he knew her better than people he'd known for years, at least right now. And he wanted to know more. The thought was scary, but also intriguing.

"Well, mission accomplished." He could have said any number of things. Tony could have asked her why she needed to feel sexy when the paper reported on what they think she's up to constantly. He could have asked why she'd care about what anyone thought about her. Instead he let her simply be. No one had done that for her in a very long time. Scarlett was good at avoiding what was really troubling her but now wasn't one of those times.

Yes, it was true she needed someone to be there to nag her, to force her to face her demons, to face her truths, but she also needed a friend. Sometimes friends could be best described as those willing to sit in denial for a few minutes simply to offer some comfort. Tony could have been sincere, but Scarlett knew better. He was too smart not to see through her and too curious not to pursue it. Hell, he'd been so curious that he'd hunted her down and followed her to the theater that night. It struck Scarlett that the same curiosity could really get him into danger when it came to her.

Selfishly, she thought perhaps _she_ was too smart to be discovered. 

"Hey, I'm going to grab that pizza. You still want a slice?"

"I never said I did." Scarlett knew she should turn him down. She'd purposely avoided going to dinner with Nathan and had promised that she would go home and not out with Tony. Yet she _wanted_ to go with Tony. She very much did. Why shouldn't she? So often she was denied what she wanted, so why couldn't she have this one small thing? Pizza wasn't asking for much in the grand scheme of things, was it?

"Well fine, do you _want_ to go grab a slice?"

"I don't know, Tony." Scarlett hesitated but even that was enough to allow Tony to worm his way in.

"No strings attached, I swear. Just pizza." He held up his hands defensively but smiled. "I really know some great places. That wasn't a line."

"We're really overdressed for pizza. We're several months rent at a pizza place overdressed actually." 

"No better time to get pizza, right? Plus, they'll get a really good tip!" Tony nodded down the block. "Come on, it won't hurt anyone. Besides, you owe me dinner, right?"

"I don't, but… okay." Scarlett had never promised Tony dinner. She'd promised him drinks and while one was cheaper than the other, she still had to argue. It was in her nature. Like that Scarlett forgot about the drama with Nathan, the chaos with Natasha. All that mattered was that she could spend the night talking with Tony over a crappy piece of pizza.


	21. Realizations

"Good morning, Mr. Stark." Jarvis greeted Tony the moment he unlocked his front door. He half expected to find Pepper there waiting to scold him for having gone out without her but there was no sign of anyone. This left him both unsettled and relieved. If she wasn't home then where was she? And why did he care? They were dating, that was as good a reason as any. But he'd practically told her to get out so what did it matter where she wound up? It wasn't like he'd actually told her to leave in so many words, not at all. So where was she if not home? Also, why was it so damned _hot_ inside his house? Tony was sweating and he was not one for being uncomfortable _especially_ where he had control over it. 

"Air conditioning, Jarvis. It's _hot_. I'm sweating! God it's like a sauna. Are you broken or something? Do I need to pull you apart? Freon? _Something?_ "

"I've had it at a constant 75 for the past six months, sir, even in your absence. Perhaps I am not the one that is _broken._ "

"Well now I want it at 72, snarky-pants."

"Yes, sir." All was quiet in Stark Mansion and it felt oddly welcoming. Silence hadn't been his friend in a long while.

Tony rubbed his eyes and stretched. He'd barely slept the night before but not because of the nightmares that had usually kept him from slumber. He'd gone out for pizza and not alone. Scarlett had insisted she could only stay for a little while- she was exhausted. Before they knew it, it was two in the morning and he was secretly bribing waiters and staff to keep the pizza place open way past closing time just so they wouldn't have to leave.

Scarlett had pretended not to notice but every so often he'd caught her smile and turn her gaze when he'd addressed some of the wait staff. She hadn't wanted to go home either, despite numerous objections to staying out far later than planned. Something deep down inside told Tony that Scarlett wanted his company as much as he wanted hers.

On the flight home that morning Tony had braced himself for the fallout of his actions. They were all over the papers, all over the gossip news shows. Tony's phone had been blowing up all morning with calls from different newspapers and publishers, looking for a story. He hadn't responded to any of them. There was too much on his mind. On top of that he had the potential to say something stupid, at least right now. Last night had been such fun that Tony felt he was still in a fog, a haze.

God, he felt like a stupid teenager with a stupid crush on someone unattainable. He hadn't felt that way even when he _had_ been a teenager. Usually he didn't care if he said something stupid or offensive but Scarlett had still not agreed to work with him. He couldn't risk saying something to chase her away without some other reason to keep after her. It was an excuse, but hell, it was a good excuse. 

"Sir?" Tony finally snapped out of the daze he'd been in as he walked lazily through his house. He'd found himself in the bedroom upstairs without even realizing it. Habit, albeit an old habit, had led him there to get changed and showered. Everything was clean, nothing of Pepper's was lying around. She'd taken a few of her things. For a second panic gripped Tony's throat at the idea of losing one of his closest friends but then surprisingly it let go just as quickly. Was this what recovery felt like? "Sir?" Jarvis spoke again, this time with a hint of alarm in his voice.

"Jarvis, what? You're such a nag."

"You have missed three calls since you've arrived." The voice spoke, still with some concern.

"Oh, really?" Tony turned in place and patted himself down in search of his phone. "It's in my coat downstairs, Jarvis." When had he taken off his coat? Must have been another old habit. He could feel the man he was still there inside him, and confidently for the first time in ages, he felt good about it. Running his fingers through his hair, Tony turned in place. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"That's the thing, sir. I _did_. Multiple times… very loudly I might add."

"Huh, curious." Tony shrugged it off, not worried. He'd spaced out before, but at least this time it had been a _good_ fantasy and not the air in the room crushing his lungs. "Media people, right? Nathan's little display made _all_ the papers. I look like the villain all over again. Tony Stark versus handsome, charming Nathan whatever-his-face." Tony laughed. "I kinda like it. It's funny."

"Yes, you do seem to be getting into all sorts of trouble, Mr. Stark, however it was Miss Potts who called not the media."

"All three times?" Tony grimaced and wondered if he could keep avoiding her. 

"And again just now." In the air appeared the video screen Tony was familiar with. Pepper was calling him and Tony could only guess why. She was none too happy with him and had surely seen the papers. Tony didn't _want_ to deal with her whining about it. He was happy for once, didn't that matter? Shouldn't he hold onto that happiness? Why did he even bother coming home? He could have stayed in Boston, he could have followed Scarlett around and convinced her to come home with him, to work with him. Instead he'd come home because realistically he knew there was work to do in Malibu. If he was going to have Scarlett work with him then he had to have something ready for her to work on.

That day was supposed to be spent going through his old notes on the energy project and coordinating with one of the contractors he was fond of to build a workspace at Stark Industries in the desert for him to work with Scarlett. 

Back in the day, when a girlfriend was upsetting him Tony would ignore it. There was no point in fixing something he didn't need. Tony had all the money he needed to buy his way into any relationship. Now, however, Tony was at a loss. He wanted to ignore Pepper, he really did, but if he did there would repercussions. Tony didn't want to _lose_ Pepper which is what made this so particularly difficult for him. No matter what, he couldn't see a way to keep her. Ignoring her right now certainly wouldn't help. Besides, she was calling so frequently he was half worried something bad had happened. Years of being his assistant had given her the insight of when to know to give up!

So, against his better judgment, Tony allowed Jarvis to pick up the call.

"Hey, Potts, I thought I'd run into you at home." Tony cleared his throat and looked around the bedroom before sitting back down on the edge of the bed.

"I was starting to get worried." The usual bite in Pepper's voice was absent. Maybe she _wasn't_ mad at him. What were the odds of that? Tony didn't want to get his hopes up. Maybe she hadn't seen the papers yet, that's all. Surely the shit storm would come at any moment now. "I called you half a dozen times, is everything alright? Are you hurt?"

"I'm fine, I just left my phone in my coat downstairs." Tony held up his hand to silence Jarvis. Words appeared in the air next to him, accusing him of not hearing the phone and Tony wiped them away with a swipe of his hand. They then reappeared just out of arm's reach. Jarvis' sass needed to be turned down a notch.

"Tony…" Pepper began and Tony heaved a sigh before looking back at the image of the woman who was supposed to love him. There was no love in her eyes just as Tony was sure there was no love in his. That ship had long ago sailed.

"Don't… start, okay Pepper?" He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "I'm not in the…"

"Can we talk?" She interrupted him, a look of irritation on her face. The video cut out for a second and Tony wondered if she'd broken her phone but didn't ask. He couldn't hide his surprise. Pepper never really wanted to _talk_ she always seemed to want him to listen or to yell at him. Tony loved a good fight, a sexy argument, but the fighting and talking they did was not the kind he had hoped for in a relationship. There was rarely the more fun makeup part of it.

"So _now_ you want to talk?" Tony scoffed before he'd even had a chance to consider being snarky.

"Don't get snippy with me." Pepper scowled and pointed to something presumably nearby. "What right do you have to be snippy anyway? After everything!"

"Snippy? I wasn't being snippy. I was making a point."

"You're the one in all the magazines with Scarlett Damien at some play in Boston that you didn't even bother to invite me, your girlfriend, to! On top of that, fighting over her with that actor guy she's stringing along… And you're getting snippy with _me?_ " Pepper's tone wavered but she quickly cleared her throat to get back on track. Maybe she really didn't want to fight. Tony however, seemed to be in the mood to nitpick. Finally he was defending himself after all this time spent hidden in his shell downstairs. He hadn't realized how attacked he'd felt for so long. Scarlett was right. He was suffering and there was no reason for him to feel guilty that he was, especially when it came to the people who were supposed to care for him.

"Except that I wasn't being snippy and I was making a point that you never _want_ to talk to me about anything unless it's to nag me about whatever I'm doing wrong apparently."

"You could have at least warned me about what I'd see this morning!" Pepper sighed in frustration. Her eyes were puffy. She'd been _crying._ Tony grimaced and the courage he'd felt only moments ago melted into guilt. He'd made her cry! She'd seen him in the papers making a scene with Scarlett and she had felt wounded, betrayed. She probably thought he'd cheated on her. "Or invited me to go with you. I would have gone to a play, Tony! I _love_ Shakespeare! I love… the theater, you know that. Or I thought you did at least. It's hard to tell these days what you do and don't know."

"I didn't want you to go with me." Tony hadn't known that actually. He was sure Pepper had told him but it had slipped from his mind just as everything seemed to these days. Or maybe it hadn't seemed important enough information to hold onto. God, he really was a terrible boyfriend. Pepper deserved better than this. She was a beautiful, talented, smart woman. 

"You know what? That's the problem Tony." Pepper spoke with surprising clarity. She looked angry, but somehow she managed to keep her emotions in check. Maybe it was that Tony was looking especially guilty or maybe it was that she really _did_ want to talk. Tony didn't know. All he knew was that Pepper was finally talking to him. "I don't want you out with me and you don't want me there with you. What are we going to do about that, Tony? This isn't normal."

"I don't know." Tony shrugged but that fear gripped him again. Was she _dumping_ him? Over the phone? This sure seemed like the opening to a breakup speech. Part of him wanted her to do it. Just drop the knife, get it over with so he could start picking up the pieces of his life. Then again, he was comfortable with Pepper, his friend, his assistant, the woman he had trusted for years to be there for him. Could he really keep clinging onto something that was in the past? She hadn't been that person for a very long time and he wasn't sure how much longer he could wait for that woman to come back. What if she never did? What if it wasn't just some phase for them both? "I'm too busy right now to do this, Pepper." It was true, in a way. He had a list a mile long of things he needed to get done. Plus he smelled like pizza. A shower was in order.

"You're always busy. Or you say you are but I never know with what."

"Are you accusing me of sitting around doing nothing all day, Pepper? Because I'm pretty sure that there hasn't been a day in months where I've sat around watching television." Tony was defensive. He had to be, maybe because there had been a hundred days where he'd felt useless, or maybe because he was afraid she'd say so.

"Working on an army of robots doesn't seem very productive to me these days. Exactly the opposite."

"Well it's not like you listen very hard when I tell you what they do."

"It's not like you want me to see!"

"Why would I? So you can criticize me and tell me what to do instead? Or tell me it's a waste of time? You don't get the point so I don't bother. No thanks, Pepper."

"Look, I was talking to Happy last night!" Pepper shouted in exasperation and then took a deep breath to calm herself down. Tony somehow felt jealous. She was _always_ with Happy. Happy barely even said hello to him anymore. Tony _paid_ him to drive Pepper around and the guy couldn't say two words to him? And then Pepper went and discussed their romantic life with him? She wouldn't talk to him, but she'd talk to her driver? "Maybe we rushed into things a little bit." She tried to smile but it quickly faltered. It was hard enough to keep from yelling nonetheless try to look civil.

Tony snapped and almost told her to go talk it over with Happy since she seemed to enjoy being with him so damn much in the past few months. She was with Happy when _he_ needed her! He'd been here suffering alone all this time and she was off doing whatever with Happy Hogan! God, what kind of a name was Happy anyway? It was stupid! Tony was being irrational and he knew it. Happy was his friend. Or he had been at one point.

"For once I think we agree on something." Tony managed but his words were forced. Pepper seemed to be more interested in talking things through with Happy instead of him. Maybe that's why things weren't working. Maybe it wasn't Tony at all that was the problem.

"Oh." Pepper looked disappointed. She'd been hoping that Tony would tell her she was way off base. The fear and resentment she'd felt that morning when she'd read the articles, scrolled through the blogs, the comments about the outburst at the theater the night before returned in a rush. Her eyes glistened with tears she wouldn't cry. Pepper hated Scarlett Damien. This was all _her_ fault.

"Look, if you don't have anything else to say then…" Tony began. This was just getting awkward.

"What were you _really_ doing with Scarlett last night?" Pepper finally asked, the words flying out of her mouth so quickly that Tony almost didn't understand them. Why didn't she seem as angry as he expected her to be? Obviously she was accusing him of cheating like the rest of the world. He thought she knew him better than that. She'd been his assistant for years and yeah, Tony had slept around back then, but he'd always dumped a girl before hooking up with a new one. Tony had mastered the art of letting a woman go. Except for when it came to Pepper mostly because he wasn't sure what to do. He'd never dated someone who had been his friend before.

"So you think I'm sleeping around, is that it?" Tony snapped. He didn't mean to bite the way he did, but it hurt to be accused by someone he thought was his friend. It wasn't like she'd been his friend for months now, just someone that he lived with. "That must be what I'm doing, right? It's not like you'd trust me or anything." Tony snapped his fingers and then spread the screen that appeared through the air. Quickly he searched for what was being reported about the night before. It certainly had appeared like he was trying to pick Scarlett up. Someone even had a picture of them out for pizza afterward, though it was blurry and from across the street. His thoughts drifted to his close call with Scarlett on the balcony of the theater. Hadn't he _almost_ done something he'd regret? Thank god someone didn't get a picture of that.

"If you're not then why are you getting so damn defensive?" Pepper pointed a finger at him. They were both trying to be civil and it was far more difficult than either of them had expected.

"Because I thought you knew me better than that." Tony stopped upon one of the pictures outside of the theater. He was standing near Scarlett as she spoke with Nathan just staring at her fondly. When had he done that? Obviously he'd looked at her quite a bit but that was _not_ a look he remembered giving her. He zoomed in on the picture and tilted his head to the side.

"I thought I did too, Tony!" Pepper seemed still, oddly, not as upset as he had expected her to be. Tony stared at the picture of him with Scarlett again. Nathan was nearby and irate but Tony was preoccupied with the curly haired woman next to him. God, why was he giving her that look? She wasn't even paying attention to him and he was staring like a puppy dog.

He'd almost kissed her. Was that cheating?

Tony turned his attention back to the phone call and the woman waiting for him to say something, anything. When he closed his eyes he could still see Scarlett, feel her hand on his chest. That tug still remained in his reactor, that need to pull her close and kiss her that had nearly consumed him. Maybe he was cheating on Pepper, but not in the most obvious of ways. He hadn't actually _done_ anything with Scarlett and she had consistently kept reminding him that he wasn't single for almost the entire night.

Tony opened his mouth to tell Pepper that he had thought about being single a hundred times in the last week. How he would have slept with Scarlett already if it hadn't been for his relationship with Pepper. Then he saw the look on Pepper's face. She was simultaneously afraid of his answer but there was something else there, hidden beneath the surface.

Something Tony recognized.

_Guilt._

Pepper felt guilty. 

It wasn't because she hadn't attended to him while he'd been struggling, that was for sure. Over the past few months Pepper had made it perfectly clear that she didn't care if he was suffering alone over whatever trauma had plagued him. So what was it then that had so riddled Pepper with guilt that she was accusing _him_ of cheating. What was that old theory? He'd heard it before but it clung just outside of his memory. People who accused other people out of the blue of something were usually guilty of it themselves? Wasn't it something like that? 

Tony felt suddenly panicked. 

"I just want to know if you cheated on me, Tony." Pepper sighed but the guilt was still there on her face. Was it just him or did he think she wanted him to say that he had?

"I didn't." Tony stared at her sincerely but she didn't look at all relieved. "What about you?"

"Excuse me?" Pepper's voice was so high she squeaked. Now _she_ looked panicked.

"You're spending all this time with Happy. If you're thinking I cheated just because I've made a female friend then maybe I should be worried about my driver who hasn't driven me in months."

"No, I just… Well, to be fair you have never been good at having female friends or even coworkers…" Pepper rambled on but never actually answered the question. Yes, she'd said no but not in the context which Tony wanted to hear. He didn't show it, but the pit in his stomach grew. Pepper continued to ramble on, saying that Tony had nothing to be worried about and she only hung out with him because Tony was being such a jerk. 

Tony wasn't listening anymore. What was he going to do? This couldn't really be happening, right? Everything was his fault. Pepper had said he was being a jerk. Had he been? Staying in the basement, locking himself away out of fear? Had she not seen the fear? Had she interpreted it as selfishness? If only he could say it to her. If only he could tell her how scared he was. Hadn't he once before though?

He'd told her about the nightmares, about how he had to protect what mattered most. Back then what had mattered most had been her. But she hadn't seen the fear. It was clear now. She had seen only that he wasn't sleeping and he wasn't spending time with her. He had avoided going places with her, taking her on dates. Surely there was an anniversary or important date he'd forgotten. To be fair, Tony had never been good about that to begin with.

The thoughts spiraled out of control but always came back to one central point.

_Pepper hadn't said no._

"Sir, Colonel Rhodes is on the home line." Jarvis cut through Tony's panicked thoughts. Pepper was still rambling on but Tony wasn't sure about what, he'd long since stopped listening. Perhaps she was yelling at him for not listening. That seemed entirely likely.

"Potts, I've got another call." Tony interrupted though his voice shook. Pepper stopped talking and stared at Tony, expecting him to say something more. "We'll talk later." Tony hung up before she could say argue with him. 

"Your heart rate is elevated sir, should I be alarmed?" Jarvis didn't change calls over as he usually would and Tony grunted in irritation.

"Patch him through, Jarvis." 

The computer did as he was told and Rhodey's voice came through the speakers throughout the house.

"I see you bit the bullet with Refuge!" Rhodey laughed, pride in his voice. "Is she as amazing in person as she is in the papers? Or is it an all illusion?" Rhodey wanted to call to check on Tony. He'd been in the papers a number of times the last few weeks, which was great for Tony. Then again, Rhodey had wondered if it was really as great a thing as it seemed. Yes, that had been normal for Tony for years, but what was normal now? Tony was struggling with something, he'd been scared to go out in public. Hell, Rhodey had to practically drag him out of the house to see him.

Now he was suddenly in the limelight again. It could have been overwhelming.

"Am I an illusion?" Tony's heart wasn't in the conversation. Even an hour ago he would have wanted to brag about his night, about the fun he'd had but now… now it all seemed unimportant.

"Point taken! Hell, what a night. If any of the stories are to be believed then I think drinks are on me." Rhodey chuckled. "So are you in trouble with the missus after all that?" 

"Yeah." Tony nodded and leaned his head in his hands. Jarvis brought up that annoying heart monitor again and Tony swatted it away with a grumble. Once more, the heart monitor appeared just out of reach. "I swear to god, Jarvis…" Tony mouthed to the side.

"Look, I've got a meeting in a half an hour but then I can stop by and we can go grab a drink…"

"I think Pepper's sleeping with Happy." Tony had to say it out loud. He stared at the heart monitor that reappeared in front of him, closer, but he didn't exactly see it. Instead he felt a pain in his chest and silence fell between the two. Even if Pepper wasn't sleeping with Happy, he was almost sure that something was going on between them. It was there hanging in front of him now. Every little touch, every time she went out, every time she talked she mentioned _him_. At the very least, she had a thing for him.

Women did that. Men did too. 

Tony felt sick to his stomach.

"What? Are you serious, Tony? This is a bad joke if you're not…"

"That is a stupid question."

"Tony… _man…_ " Rhodey wasn't sure what to say. Tony was about to tell him to forget he said it. It was stupid. He shouldn't worry about this sort of stuff. Pepper wouldn't do that to him, it wasn't in Pepper's nature. But he didn't really feel like he knew Pepper very well right now either. The Pepper he knew wouldn't have done anything the Pepper he lived with had done. Did she feel the same way about him? Had they both gotten lost somewhere along the way?

"Don't worry about it."

"I'll be right over." Rhodey didn't care what appointments he had right now. Tony needed someone to be there for him and he wasn't waiting for an invitation. Not anymore. "Order some Chinese or something." Before Tony could object, Rhodey hung up and so Tony laid back on his bed and stared at the ceiling.

So much for feeling good for once.


	22. Poison

"Overall the tests were inconclusive." Jemma Simmons' voice was shaking as she stood in the newly repaired office on the top floor of the Refuge building. Fitz stood next to her and gave her a reassuring nod so that she would continue and not just freeze up. Both of them seemed to be frightened of the reaction they'd get from Refuge's CEO when they gave her the news. "From what we were able to tell from the little that remained from the blood sample, the numbers are changing quickly and drastically."

Scarlett wasn't listening anymore. 

She was seated confidently in the chair behind her desk, leaning back and staring at the two S.H.I.E.L.D. agents in front of her. It was Wednesday and all in all her week had gone pretty well. 

At least it _had_ been going well. Simmons rambled on and Fitz every so often brought her back to topic. Scarlett's silence was unnerving and they both over compensated by talking more and more, even if it was unrelated or a tangent. Their nerves were obvious.

When she didn't respond again and simply cocked her head to the side, Fitz and Simmons exchanged glances. Scarlett was intimidating.

She always had been, even when not meaning to be. 

"I know it _feels_ like bad news." Simmons spoke nervously.

"And it is, but…"

"There's no way to really know the extent of it until you come back in for more blood work." Simmons tried to smile but received no response from Scarlett who sat still in her chair and did little but heave a sigh. "I can adjust your dosage now but I want to make sure we keep you as comfortable as possible until there are no other options."

"When we saw you last you said you weren't experiencing much pain." Fitz began curiously. "But looking at these results, it mustn't be true. On a scale from one to ten what would you rate your pain at any given time? We need an accurate number."

"Fitz, I hardly think this is the time…" Simmons whispered in a scolding voice and the two continued to bicker over what would be the right place and time for such a conversation.

It didn't matter what they said next. 

It was bad news. 

Scarlett watched the two foreigners fight back and forth, no longer on the topic of her health or her blood work. She raised an eyebrow curiously and then turned her chair to look out the window. Since Tony had broken through it she'd replaced the glass but the color was still just slightly off so she could see which panels were new and which were old.

It seemed like such a long time since he'd broken through her window. She'd give anything for him to show up right now, break through her window and take her away. What a stupid selfish thing to wish for. Scarlett felt eyes on her but she paid them no mind. Of course they were watching her. They kept searching for reasons to send her to therapy or admit her to a hospital. Scarlett didn't want therapy or doctors. She was fine.

Just _fine_.

Hell, Scarlett had broken almost every bone in her body and survived. She'd been shot, stabbed, tortured, and here she was, doing just fine. She always bounced back. It was hard to feel like she was falling prey to something as petty as the results of her blood work. How was she supposed to be scared of something she couldn't see or feel? She wouldn't be, at least not until it became something tangible.

So what if she'd gotten bad news? Every time she'd visited Percival Ganter, her former S.H.I.E.L.D. appointed doctor, she'd gotten bad news. Even then she'd joked that there was a cloud hanging over her head, waiting for lightning to strike. Jinx would've argued it was a building about to collapse. No, Scarlett was no stranger to bad news. So why was it bothering her now?

Perhaps it was because Jemma had been so optimistic with her upon that first meeting. Had Scarlett gotten her hopes up that things were finally turning around? If she had, she hadn't noticed. Between the papers reporting she was ill or pregnant and the constant questions on the matter, Scarlett had felt nothing but nervous. There had been no high, no hope. So why was she feeling suddenly so scared? Or maybe it wasn't so much that she felt scared but disappointed. Scarlett didn't know anymore.

"I don't think that's going to be important, Simmons. After you get her in for…" Fitz stopped short as Jinx walked into the room and cleared her throat. She looked to her boss and then back to the duo of S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents.

"You guys are going to have to wrap it up now. Boss lady has a meeting here in a few minutes." Jinx nodded to Scarlett.

"Cancel it." Scarlett finally spoke and got up from her chair, with a wave of her hand.

"But…" Jinx looked worried as did Fitz and Simmons.

"She should probably come with us and get her blood drawn. If I can get some more tests done then I can assign the proper dosage…" Simmons whispered, nervous now that Scarlett was finally talking. Their first meeting had gone well but now that she had bad news she wasn't quite sure how to handle Scarlett. She'd been hopeful after looking over Dr. Ganter's work but now that she'd gotten the results of their first test back, she was discouraged. On top of that, Scarlett seemed to emotionally turn off the moment she'd begun to explain. Simmons had never seen anyone so emotionally detached before.

"Hmm, not doing that either." Scarlett walked past Fitz and Simmons and pointed at Jinx. "We're getting a drink, Julianna. Maybe lunch too." 

"She wasn't listening to us at all, was she?" Fitz grimaced. "I don't think alcohol is a very good idea at this point in time. After all we just told you, perhaps…"

"I'm going to go to a bar and get a drink. A _strong_ drink." Scarlett turned and glared at Fitz and he silenced at once. His tongue suddenly seemed to fill his whole mouth. "You will not tell me what I can and cannot do."

"Actually…" Simmons began tentatively but when Scarlett turned the glare toward her she reconsidered her words. Scarlett had seemed so friendly the first time they'd met, so fond of her. Now she was scary. The apprehension around Scarlett at S.H.I.E.L.D. was suddenly explained. "Oh, okay, umm I was about to say that it's fine for you to have a few drinks for now." Jemma smiled but Fitz gave her a disapproving look. "Look we can't help her at all if she's going to lose her mind before we get the chance! Let her unwind a bit and then perhaps it'll be a little less stressful for all of us. The thinning isn't dangerous yet."

"I can hear you. Still standing here." Scarlett placed her hand on her hip expectantly. "Are we done here?"

"Yes." Jemma nodded. "You're… you're sure you're alright? That's quite a bit to take in, Miss Damien. I hate to be the bearer of bad news but I wanted you to know… We understand if you're upset. There are some… very good people to talk to. I can schedule…"

"Yeah, I get it." Scarlett held up her hand to stop the shorter woman. "Not shooting the messenger."

"I'm afraid we can't join you for drinks. There's a ton of work to do back at headquarters." Fitz pointed toward the door. He couldn't wait to get out of there. It felt like they'd walked into the lion's den and Scarlett was pacing them.

"But if you could come by maybe tonight or tomorrow we could perhaps get your blood work renewed and consider our next course of action." Simmons smiled politely. "You do understand what I told you thought, right? You were very quiet the whole time…"

"I'm pretty smart, I got it. All the rambling was a bit hard to tune out, but I got it." 

"I'm afraid the promises I made last time may no longer apply."

"I get it, process is speeding up. You, however, are slowing me down. Go." Scarlett nodded to the door and Simmons didn't at all seem relieved and the doctors didn't move. "What is with you two?"

"What do you mean?" Fitz furrowed his brow then turned to Jemma. "What does she mean, Simmons?"

"You two cannot wait to get away from me. You're practically crawling out of your skin at the sound of my voice. Yet I tell you to leave and you're lingering. Go! I got it. _Bad_ news, gotta come in for blood work. I got it. You're free." Scarlett gestured toward the door. "Are you waiting for me to cry? I'm not going to do that. You did your job. Go!"

"We're just worried for you, Miss Damien." Simmons assured her.

"I'm fine." Scarlett nodded. "Don't worry about me. You are not obligated to worry."

"I doubt that you're fine." Simmons seemed a little choked up and so Scarlett sighed. These S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents could be so surprisingly emotional.

"I'll see you soon. And for the record Leo? Pain is not a problem. I don't know what those tests show you but I'm really not suffering. Coughing sucks sometimes and I get these weird breathing episodes but that's it. I guess there's times where I space out but they're not frequent." Scarlett couldn’t be honest about how much pain she was in. She'd always had a strangely high tolerance for it. Sure, she was probably in pain after everything she'd been through, but it wasn't bothering her.

"Oh, she _was_ listening!" Fitz brightened up a bit.

"Get out." Scarlett rolled her eyes and waited for the two scientists to leave which they did reluctantly. Jinx watched them go and then looked to Scarlett curiously.

"Were you serious about your appointment? About drinks?" 

"Absolutely." Scarlett walked behind her desk, turned off her computer and grabbed her bag. Inside it she still had the thumb drive that she'd stolen from Natasha. Guilt had kept her from opening it but maybe if she drank enough, by tonight she'd be ready to take a look. "Come on." Scarlett grabbed Jinx's arm and led her out of the office and to the elevator.

Jinx did as she was told, but she didn't feel right about doing it. Leaving the office and going out to socialize with Scarlett was mostly against the rules. It had happened a few times for meals or when Scarlett needed help getting in and out of the office without looking ill after a treatment. But for the most part, Jinx was supposed to remain as her secretary and nothing more. Friends got killed, at least Scarlett's friends seemed to.

Yet, Jinx liked Scarlett. She always had. Scarlett had always been very honest with her and most people avoided being honest with Jinx. People liked to humor her because she was a little quirky. Scarlett let her know right away she had no belief in the supernatural or any of the voodoo nonsense she was into. Jinx had promptly explained it wasn't voodoo and Scarlett had played along.

It was nice. People often treated Jinx like she was weird, or bad luck, but Scarlett instead had treated her like a good luck charm and good company. But now sitting across from Scarlett in the cigar club while she ordered her second drink when Jinx was still on her first, things felt strained.

The stress radiating off of Scarlett was palpable. Fitz and Simmons had misinterpreted it as anger, but Jinx could read it for what it was.

"What's going on?" Jinx finally spoke to break the awkward silence. Scarlett didn't seem to mind it, in fact she was enjoying the silence and her drink. Several times Jinx had asked if she was okay but Scarlett hadn't responded. She'd gotten the reports from S.H.I.E.L.D. but they'd all gone over her head. She'd never been one for medical jargon. Mickey had explained it a bit to her but Jinx had only heard what Scarlett had heard. 

Bad news. 

"Aren't you going to drink?"

"I'm confused." Jinx tapped her glass but didn't drink it. She'd gotten the fruitiest drink on the menu and still didn't _really_ want to drink it. Jinx had ordered six different appetizers and had picked on those, but she'd only done so in hopes of getting Scarlett to eat. Scarlett was _not_ a stress eater. It turned out that Scarlett completely neglected her body's need for nutrients while she was stressed out. In her state, it just wasn't something she could do. Jinx was always trying to shove food at Scarlett. She couldn't help it, she was a mother hen.

"About? You pick up the glass and you sip. It's super easy."

"We don't really go out socially very often and you don't seem to want to talk… But you insisted I come and now we have _so_ much food…"

"I know." Scarlett nodded and then with a sigh finished her drink, placed down her glass and slid it to the side. "I want you to do something for me." She leaned against the table and folded her arms in front of her.

"What's that?"

"Give me a reading." Scarlett tapped the table and then pushed the appetizers aside. "I know you have your cards on you, you always do."

"You _want_ me to read you?" Jinx was suspicious.

"Yeah, I do." Scarlett leaned back in her seat and while she showed no signs of fear, of sorrow, Jinx could see it hanging on her. Scarlett was scared. She never thought she'd see the day and while she could have been wrong, she distinctly thought she even heard it in her voice. She didn't look scared. Scarlett looked determined but Jinx knew better. 

"Why?" Usually Jinx would be all over giving her a reading. She had to usually force her into letting her read Scarlett's fortune. Scarlett hated it, she didn't believe in any of that nonsense. Many jokes were made at Jinx's expense and now Scarlett was _asking_ her for a reading? But that wasn't what Scarlett was really asking for. She was asking for hope.

"I need to know." Scarlett began but the words didn't seem to want to leave her lips so instead she grunted in irritation.

"Know what?" Jinx felt the sorrow in her stomach grow. She knew what her friend would say.

"If I'm going to be okay." Scarlett nodded to the bartender for another drink and avoided eye contact. She knew she should slow down, she was going to get into trouble if she kept drinking like this but she didn't care. Trouble was something she could deal with, something she could fight face to face. Sickness and blood work, there was nothing she could do about that.

"Oh." Jinx's face fell and she looked down at her drink. "I can't do that."

"Of course you can. Just do that voodoo that you do so well and we'll get it all figured out." Scarlett smiled but it was forced.

"No, I won't do it."

"Come on, what are you afraid of? Too afraid a building will collapse on me while you're reading? Hate to break it to you but we can't just live outside all the time." 

"No."

"You're always begging me for a reading. You said you wanted to give me a heads up for what's coming. Well, I'm finally letting you. Read away."

"I said no." Jinx spoke more sternly and Scarlett finally stopped harassing her.

"Can I at least ask why not?"

"I don't want to give you answers that you don't really want." Jinx whispered though her voice broke as she spoke. Why was she the one getting upset? Scarlett turned away and sighed.

"That's fair." Scarlett thanked the bartender when he brought her the drink she'd requested but it suddenly didn't seem appetizing anymore. "Shouldn't have pressured you so much."

"It's just that stuff like that… you can't really pinpoint it. That's so specific." Jinx hoped to explain but Scarlett didn't seem to be listening. In fact, her boss was very much avoiding eye contact. "The cards give an overall reading not… specific stuff. Plus I'm… it's not always accurate. The cards know, but sometimes your emotions can get in the way. If you're worried for bad news sometimes it shows up as bad news and vice versa."

"I'm fine." Scarlett smiled confidently and nodded her head. "Your readings just distract me from everything. They're fun. People keep talking to me like I don't get what's happening to me." Scarlett tapped the side of her glass with her nervous energy. "But I _do_. So what am I supposed to do about it? Everyone seems to want me to go cry to a therapist or get upset."

"But you don't." Jinx had been on Scarlett's side when she'd denied therapy. Everyone else had worried that she wasn't coping but she watched Scarlett day in and day out and Jinx knew that Scarlett was handling it far better than most would in her situation.

"I'm not the kind to give up. It's difficult to explain but I'm not afraid." Scarlett spoke sincerely. "People keep telling me I should be but I just don't feel it. Sometimes I do but I think it's only because I'm told I should be."

"Really?" Jinx distinctly had seen fear in her boss and friend, but maybe Scarlett hadn't yet recognized it.

"Yeah. It's hard to fear things you can't see. I know part of me should be afraid and so I'm a little… out of it but, it's mostly not there."

"That's what I fear most, the unseen." Jinx smiled a little bit. "I can't give you the reading you want, Scarlett."

"What if I paid you to fake it?"

"I think that's illegal in most states." Jinx teased but then silence fell between them. Scarlett was disappointed but had decided to slow down. Jinx was partially right and Scarlett had known it. But she needed some kind of answer. How desperate she must have been to be asking for some bullshit she didn't believe in to give her those answers. 

Scarlett cursed under hear breath and ran her fingers through her hair as she leaned back in her seat. 

"You know what you should do?" Jinx brightened up.

"What?" Scarlett considered getting dressed up, going out and finding a distraction, but then thought against it. Alcohol was a bad idea. It had always been a bad idea. The only crimes that had ever made it officially to Scarlett's record had always happened under the influence. Scarlett got flirty when she was drunk, but then she got violent when men she wasn't interested in got the wrong impression. Many a bar fight had been on Scarlett's record over the last twenty years. 

"You should take that job with Stark Industries in Malibu." Jinx's smile widened and Scarlett rolled her eyes at once.

"Isn't that a _bad_ idea?" 

"The cards seem to think it's a rather _sexy_ idea." 

"I'm already many things, Julianna." Scarlett sighed and looked to the side. "A mistress isn't going to be one of them." She knew if she had Tony across from her instead of Jinx right now just what she would do and it would absolutely make her become just the thing she refused to be. The truth was that Scarlett felt vulnerable, like an open wound. There was nothing she hated more than being exposed. She always had walls up, she'd always had defenses. There was no defense that would aid her today.

Maybe she really was scared. For the first time since she'd gone to S.H.I.E.L.D. she was unsure of how things would play out. For awhile she'd been confident there'd be a cure for her somewhere. But months had passed and nothing had changed except that she'd gotten worse. Now for the first time she even felt ill. That feeling usually came and went as she received treatment but it had become steady, lingering.

If Tony was there while she was this vulnerable, Scarlett wasn't sure what she'd do. There were things she was sure of but Tony had stumped her. More than sleeping with him, Scarlett was afraid she'd tell him the truth. Scarlett hadn't said the truth out loud in awhile. The idea of doing so scared the hell out of her.

"I don't think it's like that… the mistress thing. The cards were pretty clear that it was romance not a fling." Jinx seemed certain but Scarlett was skeptical. Yet part of her had this crazy connection to the billionaire. Maybe in another life, in another time, they could have been more but it didn't exactly seem meant to be. If it was, life sure was cruel.

"Yeah, because Tony Stark is known for having serious relationships that last a super long time… and so am I for that matter." Scarlett laughed, gesturing all around her but to nothing in particular. "Come on, Jinx, we both know what those cards saw."

"So what if it's that? Haven't you been worse things than a mistress?"

"Of course I have." Scarlett nodded. "And I plan on being much worse before the end."

Jinx felt her heart stop but Scarlett continued on like nothing had happened. 

"Even the word mistress sounds sexy!" Jinx smiled, though she felt the worry sting inside of her. 

"I don't want to do that. Pepper seems like a good lady and I'm kind of a jerk but I'm not out to screw other women." Scarlett shrugged. "At least not like that."

"I'm beginning to think some of the rumors the papers print are true."

"Some of them are." Scarlett didn't say which, but instead finally nursed her third drink. Her stomach had settled, at least enough to finish what she'd paid for.

"I think I'll mention it to Widow next time I see her. It'd be good to get you out of Boston for a little bit too. Keep you traveling…"

"Widow already told me not to do it." Scarlett sighed and set down her glass. 

"I'm sure that I could…"

"Keep my babysitter out of it." Scarlett waved to Jinx who nodded her head.

"I still think you should do it."

"Wow, a bit of a rebel today, aren't you?" Scarlett pulled some cash from her purse and threw it on the table for the drinks. "Telling me to go against S.H.I.E.L.D. orders."

"You deserve some fun."

"You know what? I agree." Scarlett considered again taking Tony Stark up on his offer. He'd tried to call her since and they'd exchanged a few emails and text messages. Aside from that Scarlett had managed to avoid him. Mostly because she didn't want to tell him no. Looking in her purse she saw again the thumb drive that she'd stolen from Natasha.

She was sure the Black Widow knew she'd taken it. How could she not? Natasha was smart. She'd notice that it was missing almost immediately and put two and two together. If anyone else had taken it, and the information was as important as Scarlett guessed, Natasha would have been all over it. Part of Scarlett was worried it would get Natasha into trouble with S.H.I.E.L.D. She was already causing her friends enough trouble, she shouldn't be compounding it.

All she wanted was a little bit of control back. Scarlett closed her purse and ignored the thumb drive again. Maybe she'd simply give it back to Natasha without her noticing. It wouldn't make up for taking it, but it would be enough.

Still, Jinx was right. Scarlett needed to have a little fun. Life was too short, especially for Scarlett.


	23. Bitter End

Happy Hogan had been having a crazy month. Well, a crazy few months he'd say but some would argue that his definition of crazy wasn't quite as exciting as others. He'd been busy driving Pepper all around California and sometimes in parts of Nevada. Since Tony Stark hadn't been out of the house lately for whatever reason, he'd been a little concerned he might lose his job. On top of that, Happy was going stir crazy. With nothing to do and no added responsibilities, Happy was beside himself with free time. That wasn't why he'd taken the job at Stark Industries. Happy was rather fond of Tony, he always had been. For awhile the two had been as thick as thieves. 

Then New York had been invaded by some alien race and things had gone to hell. Tony had nearly died, risking his life to spare the city, and when he'd woken up he'd been a changed man. The change had been gradual. It was little things at first but then it compounded. Pepper hadn't noticed it the way Happy did. He'd even mentioned it a few times, asking if things were okay.

Then Tony stopped going out altogether. He'd canceled almost every appointment he'd made and when Happy had tried to make plans he'd been pushed off. So a month or so ago he'd asked Pepper if he could drive her somewhere. She'd been upset so he'd sat with her and asked what was wrong. Pepper was reluctant, she'd said it was nothing, but Happy could tell it was more than that.

Pepper was not the kind of woman to complain but she wasn't exactly known to suffer in silence either. Things with Tony weren't looking so great and Pepper didn't understand why. Her sorrow had very quickly melted into anger and Happy had been glad to lend her an ear. He'd always had a soft spot for Miss Virginia "Pepper" Potts. For awhile he'd even had a crush on her. But after years of pining and going unnoticed he'd given up. Especially after she'd connected so deeply with Tony.

Happy no longer had aspirations of a relationship with Pepper, at least not until the past few weeks. They'd spent hours talking and when she'd been sad and lonely, he had kept her company. The two had bonded. Pepper didn't want to be alone but she didn't want to be with Tony either and so Happy had gratefully given her the company she needed along with the shoulder to cry on.

Happy had since avoided Tony. The man had given him a job when he could no longer box, for Happy had, at one time, been a boxer. Hell, he'd had one of the best jobs around for awhile there! Working for Tony Stark as his personal driver! He got to see the world, live the high life, meet people he never would have gotten the chance to meet before. This included Pepper. Now Happy felt guilty so he avoided looking Tony in the eye. He knew his boss was going through something but he also knew that Tony would likely refuse any offer of help.

Things had become awkward when it came to the subject of Tony in general. Happy had always tried to be the voice of reason but it was hard not to comfort Pepper when she was upset. That day had been the same. Pepper and Tony had been fighting on and off all weekend. It was Monday and now he was on his way to Pepper's office to ask if she'd like to join him for lunch. He'd noticed she'd been particularly irate that morning and thought taking her to her favorite crepe place could cheer her up.

Now he stood in the lobby, chatting up the security guard at the front desk. Every morning he greeted the man with a smile and the two made small talk until Pepper arrived. Pepper was already in her office that morning and Happy was just trying to kill time until noon.

He wouldn't have to search long for something to distract him. The front doors opened up and in came a familiar but dangerous face. Scarlett Damien, dressed to the nines, carrying a briefcase, walked through the glass doors of Stark Industries and toward the security desk. She removed her sunglasses and walked straight toward him.

"Miss… Miss Damien?" Happy stuttered in disbelief. He'd only seen her in newspapers and interviews. Pepper had mentioned that Tony had been talking to her but every time she went on about it, Happy shut off. He hated when Pepper got jealous over whatever Tony was doing, maybe because it made him a bit jealous too. Still, standing in front of him, in the flesh, Scarlett was far more intimidating than the papers let on. Taller than he expected too.

"Yes." Scarlett smiled pleasantly and offered her hand to shake. "I know I'm a bit earlier than expected but I was able to get clearance for an earlier flight so…" Scarlett looked to the security officer and nodded her head in greeting. After her conversation with Jinx the week before Scarlett had seriously considered the job in Malibu. She decided that it didn't matter what anyone else wanted. She wanted to take the job so she would do it regardless of what S.H.I.E.L.D. wanted from her.

The temptation to put her in the field was just that. They'd been hoping to keep her placated, to keep her in Boston. Well, Scarlett didn't have the time to sit around and twiddle her thumbs anymore. Talking to Tony felt good, and Scarlett rarely felt good anymore so she was going to take it for whatever she could. Tony had promised he would set things up for her arrival and that Stark Industries was eager to have her. There would be an official press release the next morning, Tuesday, but some papers had already caught wind of the deal being solidified.

Scarlett was almost positive that Jinx had been responsible for that leak and she was partially glad. It was an easy subject to discuss with reporters, working with Tony Stark. Of course, some of them wanted to talk about the scene that had been made with Nathan and Stark the other night but Scarlett didn't even mind talking about that. As long as they stayed off of the subject of her health she was fine with it. 

"Mr. Stark said you'd be coming?" Happy was perplexed. No one had warned him she'd be coming. He figured that with all the tumult between Pepper and Tony lately that something as big as Scarlett's arrival would be handled by Tony himself. Then again, Tony hadn't personally been to the office in months for more than a moment. Pepper had really been holding down the fort, at least until the last week.

He'd found her in her office with nothing to do, worried she was going to end up without a job particularly if she broke up with Tony. It was a sticky situation, to work with someone she dated but she pushed on nonetheless. 

"He did. Said he had an office and a lab all set up for our project?" Scarlett wasn't surprised to be recognized but was surprised that no one seemed to be aware she was coming. Wasn't it a big deal that she was working with them? Or maybe Tony had kept it all to himself. This all seemed very weird to her. And it was unexpected on top of that. "I don’t mean to be rude but… who are you?"

"Oh, I'm uh… Happy. Happy Hogan, Mr. Stark's… I mean Miss Pott's driver." Happy stuttered and shook Scarlett's hand again nervously before looking around, unsure of what to do. Pepper was not going to be happy to see _her_ there. He'd heard her talk about Scarlett in anger many times. Happy had no idea how she'd react to seeing the woman in person. "Mr. Stark isn't in right now."

"Well, when can you expect him?" Scarlett was puzzled. How did the company continue to function like this? Scarlett wasn't reconsidering the job offer but was going to mention to Tony that his place seemed sorta scattered these days. Natasha's words echoed in her mind again, telling her to avoid taking the job. How angry would the Black Widow be when she'd found that Scarlett had gone out of her way, ignored protocol, and had come to Malibu anyway? Probably pretty irritated but Scarlett couldn't care about that. She had to do what was best for her and working with Tony was the only thing that had excited her in the last few weeks.

The only person she'd felt any connection to since she'd approached S.H.I.E.L.D. had been Tony Stark and while that had seemed like a bad thing at first, now Scarlett clung to it. It was all she had left. Even the friends she had, or thought she had, seemed to be on a different planet than her most of the time. Scarlett was lost but so was Tony. At least they could be lost together.

"I… uh… well, let me take you to my boss for now. I'm sure she'll know what to do." Happy at least hoped that was the case.

"Alright." Scarlett smiled and then nodded toward the hallway when Happy didn't continue. "Lead the way." 

"Oh, uh, yes." Happy smiled and then started down the hall after waving to the security guard. Scarlett took a deep breath and followed after Happy. She took in the scenery. Stark Industries was beautiful, pristine, modern, but something about it was off. It seemed to be severely lacking in that same spark that Tony left behind wherever he went. Happy knocked on the door to Pepper's office and opened the door before she could call him in. At first the redhead smiled at him and stood from behind her chair.

"Happy! What a…" Pepper stopped and her face fell when Scarlett entered the room behind him. She made no attempts to hide her distaste. "What is _she_ doing here?"

"Miss Potts?" Scarlett stepped into the office, placed her briefcase down on the chair and walked toward Pepper with her hand extended and a smile on her face. She could feel the tension in the air but it didn't bother her. Scarlett never was easily intimidated. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you. I'm Scarlett Damien. I presume Tony's told you all about the deal in place?"

"I know who you are." Pepper did _not_ shake Scarlett's hand and instead walked past her. "I don't know what possessed you to come here but your services are _not_ needed. We are doing just fine without you and your little… _wannabe_ company!" Pepper practically spat venom as she spoke. Her usually bright blue eyes were dull and flashing with anger. Happy immediately regretted his decision to bring Scarlett to his friend.

" _Okay…_ " Scarlett hesitated but Pepper continued.

"Stark Industries has been pushing history forward for nearly the last century and the last thing we need is help from women like you."

"Women like me?" Scarlett cocked a curious eyebrow. "What exactly do you think I am?"

"Yes! Women like you! I've seen the stories about you! I know just what kind of woman you are. Flaunting yourself all around just because you look like _that_. You're trouble, Miss Damien and Stark Industries doesn't need any more trouble. Your kind of help? Is not what we need here."

"You mean you _aren't_ stuck on the energy project? There isn't a converter in need of my expertise? Really?" Scarlett was skeptical but almost a little amused by Pepper's obvious disdain for her. It wasn't anything new. The papers gave everyone the wrong impression about Scarlett all the time. Most of the time it was women who hated her the most. They thought she was a tramp, a home wrecker, using her feminine wiles for her personal gain when that hadn't at all been the case. But Scarlett never felt the need to fight the rumors. She had always been confident in her skills, in her expertise. Usually when in a room full of women who hated her she could win them over by avoiding all the drama. She wasn't so sure she was going to win Pepper over, not even a little.

"It's none of your business what goes on behind these walls. To hell with you and your reputation. Now if you'll excuse me…" Pepper walked to the door and held it open for Scarlett who did not budge.

"I'm thinking there's been some kind of a communication error here." Scarlett placed her hand on her hip. "I spoke last night with the CEO of Stark Industries and we had plans solidified. Contracts have already been signed, lawyers already involved. Maybe word hasn't spread down the proverbial vine yet."

"The CEO? You mean Tony?"

"Yes, Tony Stark, CEO of Stark Industries the last time I checked."

"I have been acting CEO for the last six months. Tony has barely been here in just as long. I don't care what contracts you've signed. Any company decisions come through _my_ desk and go through me!" 

"Calm down, there's no need to get catty." Scarlett scoffed.

"Oh, you have _no_ idea what I'm like when I'm catty."

"Where is Tony, anyway? Maybe he can sort this out." Scarlett managed to keep a level head. She was a little disappointed to find Pepper in such a state. After all she'd read about the industrious woman she was hoping to bond with her, even if it was just a little bit. Instead, she was getting her head bitten off.

"That's none of your business."  
"I was told there would be a workspace for me here when I arrived, albeit I am a few hours earlier than intended." Scarlett hoped to bring the conversation somewhere civil, where they could hopefully discuss things without fighting like teenagers. She didn't honestly have the energy for these sorts of arguments. It took more than a few nasty words to set Scarlett off. 

"Well, _tough._ "

"I don't know exactly what I've done to offend you but I can assure you, Miss Potts, that I did not come here to create a stir. I was told…"

"Oh, like hell you didn't!" Pepper shouted, slamming the door closed when Scarlett made it clear she wasn't walking out quite so easily.

"Excuse me?"

"Pepper, maybe you should calm down…" Happy whispered, reaching for Pepper's shoulder in an attempt to soothe her but the fiery red head shooed his hand away.

"I will not calm down!" Pepper scowled and Happy backed off, an apologetic look in his eyes. "All you do is stir the pot! I read the papers! You may have everyone fooled, even Tony, but you don't fool me."

"I'm not exactly sure what you mean by that." Scarlett rolled her eyes. She'd had enough of being yelled at. Apparently Tony hadn't yet bothered to communicate his grand plans to his girlfriend and now Scarlett was receiving a swift kick in the ass that may have been meant for him. She suddenly wondered what the appeal of his girlfriend was in the first place. It wasn't like she seemed particularly charming. Scarlett had been all sorts of charming when she'd come in and Pepper had done nothing but snap at her.

"Tony might not see past the blue eyes and all of… all of that!" Pepper gestured toward Scarlett.

"You mean the way I look. Because I must be only valuable because of my boobs, right?" Scarlett threw her a skeptical glance. "That's how women operate, right?"

"You know just what kind of a guy he is, everyone does! He's fooled by what he sees but I know what you're doing."

"And what is that, exactly? Because I thought I came here to work."

"Yeah, _sure_ you did."

"If you're not going to help me can you direct me to someone who will? I've had enough of all the yelling. And insulting."

"You have done _nothing_ but stomp all over our reputation since you came into the picture…"

"Reputation? Stark Industries was fading out of existence in the papers until Tony approached me. Did you mean before I threw you a lifeline? That sounds right."

"Right, because making headlines with my _boyfriend_ at some theater has anything to do with business! You just like to make a mess and leave everyone else to clean it up!"

"He showed up at an event I attended. I'm not really sure how that makes anything out of me. Maybe I'm not the one you're upset with."

"Don't play innocent, Scarlett." Pepper narrowed her eyes and took a dangerous step closer. If Scarlett wanted to she could very easily subdue the tall woman, but she wasn't going to waste the energy. Besides, Pepper already didn't like her, she was sure that wouldn't make anything easier.

"Look, Pepper. I don't know what you read in the papers that got you all… irritated but you have to know by now that the media has a very creative way of spinning the truth." Scarlett took a deep breath and offered yet another smile. It would be her last attempt at niceties. "Haven't you worked with Tony for years? Haven't you seen the monster they painted him to be for so long? Even dating you, they basically printed every sideways glance he had at someone else as a rumor."

"That's because Tony _was_ that man for a very long time. I know what the media does and I've spun stories for him for years, long before you were on the scene."

"Calm down, old money…"

"Do not tell me that there's no truth to what the media prints because I am not that naïve. You may have Tony fooled but I know that you're up to something. You're dangerous, Scarlett, and I'm not going to let you drag Stark Industries down with Refuge. You may be successful now, all over the papers, but Refuge will fade out of the limelight when your dirty past catches up with you. When that happens, Stark Industries will still be here to clean up the mess."

"Wow, you really _do_ read all the papers." 

"I like to know what our competition is like. And I don't see a threat with Refuge."

"That's because I'm not trying to threaten anyone. I had ideas to share with the world and so I did." Scarlett spoke darkly. Her last nerve was wearing thin. "As skeptical as you seem, I'm actually really interested in working on this energy project. It'll be Tony's life's work. He'll save the world with that thing and if it's a problem I can help solve then I'm happy to…"

"Take half the credit and the profits? No thank you."

"You aren't even trying to listen anymore. I think you might even be putting words in my mouth."

"Pepper, maybe we should call Tony." Happy knew the conversation was long out of control. Pepper wasn't herself, she was panicked and angry. All the venom she'd held inside of her for so long was coming flying out toward Scarlett who had seemed perfectly civil the entire time. 

"I will _not_ call Tony but I will call security. Either you get out of my office or I make you get out of my office!" Pepper pointed toward the door again.

"Pepper, you're overreacting." Happy whispered, hoping to calm her down but she threw him such a look that he stuttered on what would be his next words.

"I'm not going to fight with you Miss Potts." Scarlett picked her briefcase back up and started toward the door. "I'll get this all straightened out later, without you. Mr. Hogan, I appreciate you being so kind to show me the way here. Miss Potts, I'd say it's been a pleasure but it's kind of been a real mess." Scarlett didn't say another word and instead walked out the door. Pepper picked up the phone.

"Security! Miss Damien is in the hallway on her way back to the lobby. Please escort her _off_ of the premises." Pepper hung up the phone before she could get a response. Happy stared at the redhead who was catching her breath but still staring intently at the door that Scarlett had walked through. He wasn't quite sure what to say. He'd never seen Pepper get that upset with anyone or anything before. She was usually such a level headed woman with the utmost respect for other business women. It had to be the fact that Tony was so over the moon with Scarlett that had gotten to her. 

"You're much prettier than she is." Happy spoke gingerly, hoping to at least calm Pepper down a little bit. He wasn't quite sure what the real problem was. If it was jealousy, maybe she just needed to be reassured of what an amazing woman she was.

"That is _not_ why I sent her away!" Pepper snapped at him but Happy didn't back down.

"I don't get it then." Happy furrowed his brow.

"Don't start with me, Happy."

"It's a good move for the company. We need the press. She was right. Stark Industries sort of revolves around Tony. Without him to stir up the press for us, we don't have any. Scarlett's got tons of press without even trying."

"That's not a good thing, Happy."

"But it could be if you worked with her. You're a brilliant business woman, Pepper! If you partnered up with Scarlett, you two could be quite the team. Tony's trying to get back into the limelight but even now all of his press revolves around her."

"I know that." Pepper finally took a deep breath and stared at the door. The rage was finally subsiding. She'd been caught off guard, that was all. Every night for the past week she'd had bad dreams about Scarlett and so she'd been pondering all morning just what she was going to do about the situation. Then lo and behold Scarlett shows up in her office and Pepper couldn't hold herself back, not even a little. 

Maybe she _was_ being ridiculous. 

Shouldn't she give Scarlett a chance at the very least? Happy was right. They were both intelligent business women and women were so rarely taken seriously in front of the media. For all she knew, Scarlett's press was complete garbage and she could have just been someone the media was trying to destroy. But Pepper had such a nasty feeling in the pit of her stomach when it came to Scarlett. Even looking at her put her nerves on edge. No, there was definitely something about her, something she wasn't telling the world. Whatever it was, Pepper knew it was trouble.

"Maybe you should try to look at all this from a different perspective." Happy was relieved that Pepper had at least let some of the tension go. Her hands weren't shaking with rage anymore and she seemed to be thinking rationally at long last.

"Oh yeah?"

"Whatever that was, it wasn't a personal attack. Maybe it really was just business."

"I know that, Happy." Pepper sighed and there was a knock at the door so she slowly started toward it. "It's just not that easy to let it go. She's spent more time with him than I have in the last month and… I don't see that changing with this deal." Pepper knew that it was partially her own fault that things had gotten so terrible with Tony, but she didn't quite feel like she was the one that should be apologizing. She'd reached out, only a few days ago, and yet he had done nothing to try and make it better. 

Maybe he didn't want to.

She wasn't sure she wanted to either.

"I'm, uh… you called for tech support?" A tall man in a lab coat with glasses stood at the door, his laptop tucked under his arm. He glanced from Pepper to Happy and back again. "I'm sorry, am I interrupting something?"

"No, not at all. Please come in." Pepper nodded and held open the door for the technician.

"Tech support?" Happy whispered under his breath.

"My computer's been acting funny. It's not quite synching up with Jarvis the way that it's supposed to so I thought I should get it looked at. It's old now anyway. Usually Tony has upgraded everything by now and he hasn't been around." Pepper pointed to her desk, wiggled her mouse and the computer jumped to life. "Here you go."

"Thank you, Miss Potts." The man sat down, flipped open his laptop and began to type on the keyboard.

"I think I need some fresh air." Pepper whispered, staring longingly out the window. If she could go back in time twenty minutes she would. Yelling at Scarlett the way she had was immature. What if Scarlett reported her fit to the media? That was the last thing the company needed.

"Well, you're in luck because I was thinking we should grab something to eat!" Happy smiled, at long last remembering why he was there in the first place. "That crepe place is open a little earlier today. What do you say?"

"Crepes? Happy, you know me so well." Pepper finally smiled. She turned to the tech and leaned over the desk. "Is there anything else you need before I leave?"

"Just your passcode, ma'am."

"Oh, of course." Pepper laughed and then shuffled around a few papers on her desk before finding a thinning stack of post-it notes and writing her lengthy password for him on it. She slid it toward him and then walked back to Happy.

"Thank you very kindly. I'll have it fixed before you return." The tech smiled, eager and excited to be working on his boss' computer.

"Thanks so much. You're a lifesaver." Pepper grabbed her coat off of the hook near the door and then walked out. "Come on Happy, let's go grab something to eat." Pepper had three thousand things on her mind. She'd nearly forgotten about her broken computer. Usually she would have had Tony fix it, that’s why she'd kept putting it off. She'd hoped he would turn up in the office to do it for her and then the two could really talk like old times. Maybe old times weren't in the cards for her, for them. Maybe it was time for Pepper to really start looking forward instead of trying to repair what was beyond it.

She stole a glance at Happy and smiled. The driver was talking about something or other he'd done that morning, relieved to know that he'd calmed her down. And he really had. He hadn't backed down when she'd gotten angry, he hadn't made a million excuses or turned off emotionally. He'd told her how it was and allowed her to get it out of her head. He hadn't ridiculed her, not even a little.

Pepper was going to do her best to forget about Scarlett, at least for the time being. For now, all that mattered were crepes and Happy Hogan.


	24. Relations

Scarlett hadn't been entirely surprised to have security waiting for her in the lobby of Stark Industries to escort her off of the premises. Pepper had lost her mind at the mere sight of her and she was honestly astounded it hadn't gotten physical. The redhead looked like she was about to kick off her heels and jump at Scarlett to pull her hair out or something. Scarlett chuckled at the very mental image. Pepper would have no idea what she was up against if she started that fight. Besides, Scarlett wasn't the type to fight over a man. That was just petty. Men were a dime a dozen, women definitely did not need to fight over them. 

"Miss Damien? May I have a word?" Scarlett was woken from her reverie by Dianne Hendricks. The woman had cut her hair shorter since she'd last seen her. Looking around, Scarlett half expected to be in Boston. 

Nope, still a parking lot in California.

"You're an east coast reporter, what are you doing here?" Scarlett wondered if maybe her visit with Pepper was some weird fever dream and she had spent the last few hours wandering aimlessly around Boston. The sun was shining overhead and palm trees lined the streets nearby. She was absolutely _not_ in Boston.

"I heard you were coming here and I wanted to speak with you."

"You are a relentless little thing, aren't you?" Scarlett scoffed and looked behind her to where Stark Industries loomed overhead, blocking out the sun. She leaned against the car she rented and folded her arms over her chest. "What do you want?"

"I found something that might interest you." Dianne was eager to share with Scarlett. Refuge was still her favorite subject to report on. It had become, with time, less of a job and more of an obsession.

"If it's gossip, I'm pretty over it so you'll be wasting your time." Scarlett nodded her head and let out a sigh. "I've had enough of that to last a lifetime." Scarlett glanced back toward the Stark building again and felt the guilt swell inside of her. She was already a mistress in the eyes of Pepper Potts. Where was the fun in that? All the blame with none of the actual excitement that came with it. Scarlett was beginning to think she'd missed an exciting opportunity by refusing to spread her legs for Tony Stark. "If you're so desperate for a story you'd follow me here why don't I help you? I can give you some way more interesting information on people back in Boston. That party the other night? Wow, I heard some stuff and it could be very good for you."

"It's not gossip."

"It pretty much always is." Scarlett weighed the options, trying to recall a piece of writing that _wasn't_ conjecture in the last week.

"It's about the Hurst family." Dianne spoke quickly. It was hard to keep Scarlett's attention, it always had been. She'd managed to on several occasions and other reporters had been jealous that she'd been given such attention but Dianne Hendricks had prided herself on her work. Scarlett didn't seem particularly interested but she didn't turn away either. In truth, Scarlett was turning over the name in her head and weighing her options. 

"I'm listening." She finally decided.

"Could we discuss this somewhere more private? This isn't exactly the best place for an interview."

"It's not an interview. You said you had information for _me._ " Scarlett clarified.

"You know what I meant." Dianne smiled a little.

"Fine. Did you drive here?" Scarlett peered around Dianne in search of a low budget car that would surely come with the small paper she wrote for.

"I took a cab."

"Fine, get in." Scarlett nodded to the car behind her and got in the driver's seat. Dianne hesitated but then did as she was told. Was she really taking a ride with Scarlett Damien? This was a story in and of itself. No other reporter had ever been awarded such an opportunity and Dianne was not going to take it for granted. Nor would she risk getting kicked out of the car. "Coffee good for you?"

"What kind of a reporter would I be if I didn't live on coffee?"

"I forget that you're funny." Scarlett chuckled and shifted the car into gear before pulling out of the parking lot. "Haven't seen you around lately. Sick? Vacation?"

"No, just busy with other work."

"I was beginning to think I was your sole story for awhile there." Scarlett navigated the streets away from Stark Industries and back toward the thriving town of Malibu. She'd spied a coffee shop when she'd driven through earlier and had made a mental note of it. 

"No, I've got quite a bit going on. My husband's at home with the kids and I had to give him some time to get his own work done. So I've done a bit of my researching from home."

"Oh, that's right, you're married. I forgot you corrected me."

"I did."

"What, did you think I was hitting on you or something?" Scarlett teased, pulling into the parking lot. She made a point to drive aggressively. After all, she had an image to uphold didn't she? Plus, it was kind of fun to scare reporters.

"Oh… uh… no, I mean… I just…"

"You are cute, after all. And the paper does seem to think I swing both ways." Scarlett turned off the engine and stepped out of the car. The dark skinned woman climbed out of the passenger seat and stuttered, her eyes wide.

"Do you?"

"Are you interested?"

"I just told you I'm married."

"Apparently that doesn't matter to me either." Scarlett didn't break eye contact and Dianne seemed suddenly nervous. Finally Scarlett laughed and swatted the top of the car. "Oh, come on. Stop believing the press already. You know what a load of crap most of it is." Dianne laughed nervously and was inwardly relieved. For a moment she'd really thought the notorious business woman was hitting on her.

"So you're not…"

"I'm not hitting on you." Scarlett walked around the car and met her on the other side. "You are cute, but that's just honesty."

"For a minute I really thought you were going for it there."

"Well if you are ever desperate for a story or a quote, you can have this. Yeah, I think I could completely wind up with another woman. People are attracted to other people and that isn't always exclusive to gender." Scarlett shrugged and then walked into the café with Dianne on her heels.

"I like that."

"I thought you would." Scarlett had a feeling Dianne wouldn't print it, but she meant it nonetheless. She had never chosen to label herself, what was the point? People gave her the label they wanted to give her regardless of the truth. The truth didn't matter in the eyes of the public. People believed what they wanted to believe and that had never been clearer than it was that day. Pepper Potts hadn't just believed some of the stories, she'd believed _all_ of the stories. 

The duo ordered their drinks and sat in the corner of the café. Scarlett waited for Dianne to say something but instead she just watched the businesswoman intently. "You had news for me?" With a sip of her latte, Scarlett prodded the reporter.

"Yes, yes I did."

"About the Hurst family?"

"Yes, you do know them, don't you?"

"Enlighten me." Scarlett did, but she wasn't going to give out any more information than necessary.

"Mr. Hurst and his wife are the owners of a textile company in London."

"And?" Scarlett swirled her latte and spoke curiously.

"And last night they were found dead in their home." Dianne searched Scarlett's face as she delivered the grim news but found nothing of note.

"That's all very sad but what is it supposed to mean to me?" 

"You seemed intrigued enough to sit with me so I thought maybe _you_ could answer that." Dianne folded her arms over her chest.

"I only know them from business. I dealt with their company on an old job but it was literally just paperwork. Never went there." Scarlett smiled. "I'm sorry to disappoint."

"Hold on." Dianne wasn't giving up quite so easily. She reached for her purse, pulled out her wallet, keys, a small child's toy, and then finally an envelope. "I did some digging and was able to find a photograph that was recovered from a security system on premises. It seems that the rest of the footage recovered by the police was corrupted."

"Oh, snooping. Very good." Scarlett held out her hand for the picture and Dianne reluctantly handed it over.

"He's the prime suspect in the case."

"Ah, him I know." Scarlett pointed to the picture and then turned it back toward Dianne. "His name is Erick Reno." Scarlett had recognized him immediately. When she'd still been considering working for MedCo before her entire life unraveled, she'd met with the heads of the company. He was one of them. Erick Reno, the man with the glasses. Scarlett's mind was racing a thousand miles a minute but she did her best to remain cool and calm for the reporter.

Dianne had gotten too close to the truth one too many times and she wasn't going to have her in the line of fire. She had a husband and kids to worry about, who she loved very much judging by the state of her purse. Scarlett handed the picture back to Dianne who took it and looked it over.

How the hell had MedCo figured it out? Scarlett had never even told Scott about this part of her life and yet there it was catching up to her. Her stomach was churning and her heart was racing. Had she mentioned those names in the past? Even drunk had she said something? Scarlett racked her brain to try and remember, but there were too many years to comb through.

There was no way she'd told anyone.

No way.

"How do you know him?" Dianne looked up from the photo.

"Ah, he offered me a job a long time ago. Real dick. Works with a bunch of other real dicks too. I knew it was fishy and turned him down." Scarlett lied through her teeth. It was too dangerous to tell this woman the truth. "Look, if you want a story you should research him but keep your distance. Guys like this are trouble, way beyond your pay grade. Your newspaper is _not_ worth getting into it with this guy. 

"Alright." Dianne hesitated and put the photograph back into her purse. She sat with her coffee but didn't drink it. Scarlett took another sip of her latte.

"Is that it? Should I call you a cab?"

"I know your secret, Miss Damien." Dianne leaned across the table and whispered.

"Oh, really? What secret is that?" Scarlett chuckled over her latte.

"You're uh…" Dianne looked behind her and then out the window before whispering. "You're being hunted." Scarlett stared at her with amusement behind her eyes. It was a shame this woman was so damn smart. She was going to get into trouble.

"And you're _reaching_." Scarlett laughed it off, leaning back in her chair. "Look, you're getting into things you don't understand. You're drawing all these conclusions without facts and it's going to get you into trouble. You should go home to your husband and your kids."

"This is more than a story now, Miss Damien." Dianne looked sympathetic. Maybe she wasn't looking for a story but it didn't matter. Scarlett didn't need anyone else involved and she wasn't going to let this woman, this good, talented, woman get in over her head because she was too curious. 

"You're right. It is more than a story. It's my life." Scarlett finally set down her coffee and looked to the reporter seriously. "It's my _life_. This thing all of you report on and make up stories for? All these assumptions you make, conclusions you draw, rumors you spread, it's my life. It becomes my life even if none of it is true. I know the public has a right to parts of my life but not to the extent you all make it out to be. What it comes down to is that it's my life and none of your business."

"I just want to help you."

"No one asked you to." Scarlett tapped her fingers on the table. "You people think you own every part of me. No one does. Not you, not the media, not the public, not anyone I work with." Scarlett stood up from the table and cleared her throat. "Mrs. Hendricks, you are a very good reporter and someday you're going to make a difference in the world of journalism. Following me is not the way to do it. I am a businesswoman looking to simply share her ideas with the world. It's all I'm doing. Who I'm dating, what secrets I'm keeping, bar fights I've been in? People I used to know? None of it matters."

"What about secret illnesses? You've been seeing a doctor at S.H.I.E.L.D. I know that for sure."

"Yes, you know why?" Scarlett tapped her side. "Old wound got infected. I mentioned it while I was there on business and one of the doctors offered me an experimental treatment to help get rid of the pain and scarring." Dianne mentally deflated and looked apologetic.

"I just want to help."

"Then back off." Scarlett picked up her cup and threw it in the garbage. "I like you, Mrs. Hendricks. I'm happy to give you a story when there is one. But this isn't a story."

"It's your life." Dianne felt her stomach sink. Not because she thought that she'd chased the wrong lead, but because she was almost sure that she hadn't. Scarlett was hiding something and it was something more than she had thought. 

"Go home. Here." Scarlett pulled some cash out of her pocket and placed it on the table in front of her. "Take a cab back to your hotel. On me. Then go take a vacation or something, you work too hard." 

"What about you?"

"I have to go pick up the keys to the place I'm renting for my stay in Malibu." Scarlett flipped the keys to her rental car around her finger with a smile. "Mrs. Hendricks?"

"Yes?"

"Think about what I said."

"I will."

"Thanks for the heads up about the Hurst Family." Scarlett waved before heading out of the coffee shop. Her mind was racing as she got into the car and drove away. Quickly she put the address for the leasing office she'd need to stop off at to pick up her keys.

Once she was on the road, far away from where Dianne could even read her lips, Scarlett put her bluetooth headset on and dialed on her phone.

"Scarlett? What's wrong?" Natasha picked up after the first ring as she always did these days. She half expected to be scolded since she'd only told Natasha that she'd made a deal with Stark Industries after it had already been made and she was on a plane. But no, Natasha was worried, as she always was these days. 

"What makes you think something's wrong?"

"You know I'm irritated with you and you're still calling me…" Natasha drifted off. "You called _me_ , don't act like this is an interrogation."

"It wouldn't be an interrogation if it didn't feel like it all the time…"

"Scarlett, I _swear_ …"

"What, are you going to put me over your knee or something?"

"What's wrong? You're only this sarcastic when something's wrong." 

"Uh… I don't want to say." Scarlett grumbled as she drove, following the route that the GPS had set out for her. It wasn't too long a drive, but it was enough to clear her mind. She could already see the shore from the highway. It was beautiful.

"Is it embarrassing or something? Do you get embarrassed?"

"My, umm… my parents are dead." Scarlett winced. She hadn't used those words in a long time.

" _What?_ "

"Don't make me say it again."

"How the hell did that happen?" Natasha was gesturing behind her, looking for someone to talk to her on the line. "You're on speakerphone."

"That's reassuring. Hi S.H.I.E.L.D., how's it hanging?" She joked nervously.

"Your parents are dead?"

"I did say that."

"I didn't know you _had_ parents." She could hear Mickey's voice on the other end of the line.

"Oh, party call. You see, Agent Pierce, everyone has parents. When a mommy and a daddy love each other very much they get together and have a baby. Or sometimes when they resent each other and want to bring a little girl into the world to belittle and keep under their thumb, they do that too." Scarlett cleared her throat.

"You never mention them. I just assumed they died long ago." Natasha sounded stressed. Scarlett could hear her talking away from the phone to someone else, presumably S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents.

"I ran away pretty young. I changed my name, removed all ties. I mean, I even went as far as to delete birth records." Scarlett pulled into the parking lot of the leasing office and parked her car. Then she leaned back in the driver's seat and closed her eyes. "How the _hell_ did they find my parents?"

"It had to be Scott, right? He had to know."

"I never told him." Scarlett shook her head. "I made a pact with myself when I got into this that nothing from before that first job existed anymore. He thought I was orphaned. _God…_ "

"You're sure it was MedCo? Not just a coincidence?" Natasha muttered.

"Look, I'll send you the information on my phone when I'm not in the car." Scarlett inhaled deeply and then pinched the bridge of her nose. "Glasses was there. He looked odd. Picture's blurry from what I saw but you guys might have better resources."

"Might? I can guarantee it." Mickey spoke.

"Just… find out how they knew." Scarlett sighed and placed her hand over her forehead. What a day. First she had a showdown with Miss Pepper Potts and then she'd been accosted by a reporter only to find her parents had died. She smacked the steering wheel in frustration. 

"Are you okay?" Natasha picked the phone back up. Scarlett could hear the rest of the room fade away. She was no longer on speakerphone.

"I'm fine."

"Scarlett, your parents are dead. Are you okay?" Natasha repeated.

"I'm really fine. I'm surprised, that's all. My parents were not winning any awards or anything. They never even reported me missing when I ran away to attend Cambridge." Scarlett spoke almost bitterly. There was a story there, a long one, but Scarlett wasn't one to dwell in the past. Oddly it struck a nerve. Scarlett wasn't actually sure she was okay even if she seemed to think she was. Her parents were dead. She'd never dreamt of a reunion and she'd known they were getting old.

So why did it bother her? None of it made sense. It had to be the medicine Jemma had given her. There was no way she actually felt bad that her parents had died. Then again, they'd still be alive and making each other miserable if she hadn't gotten into trouble. It was more blood on her hands. 

"Should I come out there?"

"Please don't." Scarlett muttered but she knew Natasha would eventually anyway. She was too busy babysitting her to keep her from her privacy. "Okay, so we need to make a bigger list if this is how it's going to be."

"What else are you hiding?"

"Hunt down my college professors. There was a girl I roomed with for a time, we should get her to safety too. They'd be none the wiser but if they can hunt down my parents then they can hunt them down too. God, what a low blow."

"Are you sure you're okay?" Natasha's concern was thick in her voice.

"Did you have a stroke? I said I'm fine."

"I find that hard to believe."

"I only called because I think we have to move. We can't let them kill everyone I've ever known. That's insane. People shouldn't be punished because they went to class with me or because I helped them study. You want to help me and make me feel better? Save some people, will you?"

"Alright. Send me what you remember."

"Will do." Scarlett hung up before Natasha could ask her again if she was okay. "Oh god, what am I doing?" The pit in her stomach widened and she thought about Tony. If they were going after people from her past how long would it take before they went after people from her present? S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents were already targets, Scarlett knew that but they'd accepted the risk when they'd gotten involved with her. What about Nathan?

What about Tony?

God, hadn't he been through enough? Was she making a mistake coming to Malibu and working with him? He was going to be in danger whether or not he knew it. Maybe she should tell him.

No, that would be stupid. Telling him would only share the burden with him. Tony Stark didn't seem like the type to back down from a fight. The only problem was that it wasn't his fight. Coffee repeated on her and Scarlett coughed and gagged the sensation away. Inside the car suddenly felt terrible. Had she turned off the air conditioner on accident? She was sweating something fierce.

Slowly she got out of the car and leaned against it. It was stifling in there but the air outside didn't seem much better. She couldn't breathe. Each inhale made the tightening in her chest worsen. Carefully she walked around the side of the building to take deep breaths. Even the smell of the asphalt was bothering her stomach. Now it was the smell of the dirt. Her head began to pound right behind her eyes.

Her legs felt weak so she leaned heavily against the wall.

Nausea washed over her, making her feel warm and clammy. She closed her eyes and listened instead to the sound of the cars on the highway nearby mixed with the ocean in the distance. It wasn't even a little soothing. In fact, the sound only seemed to become louder and more bothersome. Every passing car seemed to inflict pain. Yet Scarlett's thoughts wouldn't stop racing, even if the world spun still behind her eye lids.

Tony deserved to know the whole truth. 

However Scarlett didn't want him tangled up in her web of deceit either. It was a big mess. It wasn't like she hadn't tried to keep him at a distance. He was a very persistent man.

If she tried, could she push him away at this point? What if she did her work poorly and played dumb? That could make Tony lose interest, couldn’t it?

There was a big selfish part of Scarlett that knew she couldn't do that. She enjoyed talking to him, she wanted to be his friend. He deserved a friend who could understand him the way she did. Or maybe that was selfish too. She wanted someone to need her, perhaps. Immediately she banished the notion. 

Then her stomach ached and she grabbed it and hunched over, leaning against the building. Her hands were going numb, she could barely feel her fingertips. That coffee was really repeating on her. Soon it was coming back up and Scarlett couldn't stop it. If it hadn't been for the wall, Scarlett would have wound up on the ground, puking. Thankfully she'd managed to barely hold herself up. Retching hurt her throat. She couldn’t feel her hands anymore. 

What was it that Jemma Simmons had warned her of? Scarlett couldn’t remember now but she had a feeling that it wasn't the coffee's fault that she'd gotten so sick. Her fingers had been going numb all morning. She'd tried to tell herself it was from the travel but she knew deep down it wasn't. Cursing, she hit the wall and then leaned against it to catch her breath. Her knees threatened to give out and she'd regretted wearing heels. It was much harder to keep her balance with them on.

The cling in her chest wasn't as bad as it had once been, so there was that. Maybe it was just a panic attack. The heat behind her eyes that had grown steadily worse since she'd woken up assured her it was actually a fever.

"Fuck." Scarlett ran her fingers through her hair and then straightened up her back. She would have to get it together. Between finding out her parents were dead and suddenly being afraid for Tony's safety, Scarlett was a mess.

It was good she wasn't in a lab at Stark Industries. Scarlett wasn't sure she would have kept it together long enough to retain her composure around anyone else. She'd lasted just long enough to get away from people. Scarlett walked to the front of the building and stared at the car she rented. Why was she there again?

That was right. She had rented a place by the beach for the duration of her stay in Malibu. Tony had offered up his home but she had immediately rejected the notion. After meeting Pepper, Scarlett was glad she'd turned down the offer. The last thing she needed was more stress, her body was riddled with it enough already. No, what she needed now was a walk on the beach and maybe a drink.

At the very least, she needed something to wash the taste of vomit from her mouth.


	25. Temptation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Halloween! Sorry I've been slow on uploading Hollow Scars, the sequel to Glass Heart, I've been busy getting ready to release my first mini-novel, Cursed :D Available on Amazon Kindle.

Her flight hadn't been commercial. Nor had it been listed at any of the local airports. Tony _knew_ that because he had browsed their poorly built websites and found no sign of her. After that he'd very _legally_ searched through a list of private fliers, their planes, and their planned itineraries. When that didn't pan out, Tony resorted to old school methods.

He'd called the airport and after being tossed around to a few employees who had no idea what he was talking about he gave up. Finally after growing weary of the runaround, he'd recruited Jarvis for the task. After waiting patiently for a few hours after she was _supposed_ to arrive, Tony had become very _impatient_. He'd been running around Malibu like crazy all morning, buying new clothing, getting some food for his house, running errands that he was pretty sure he used to hire people to do for him. Without Pepper, Tony wasn't sure who was really responsible for those things. It was possible that in the past few months they'd even been let go. He'd been locked away in more ways than one and hadn't noticed. But now, now he wanted to impress Scarlett if he could convince her to come see his suits.

There didn't seem to be enough time to get everything done and yet he'd found himself waiting for her to arrive, practically stalking her even. He'd contemplated calling her several times but he didn't want to seem too needy. At the same time Tony wanted to talk to her and didn't care what anyone thought about it. He had been shocked when she'd accepted his offer to work with him at long last. After how long he'd waited for a response he'd been sure that she was giving him the cold shoulder.

No, she'd called him out of the blue and asked if the offer was still on the table the week before. He had played hard to get for a minute but when she'd threatened to take her business elsewhere he'd lured her back in. It was a game, of course. She wanted the job and he wanted her to take it but they continued to do that dance back and forth, the same dance they'd been doing since they'd met.

For someone whose office he'd nearly destroyed in their first meeting she sure was awfully understanding. So many people couldn't handle Tony's in your face attitude but Scarlett had and even thrived.

Tony was smiling stupidly to himself as he sat in his living room, waiting so very impatiently.

"That's it, Jarvis, you know what to do. I can't take it anymore."

"I'm surprised you lasted as long as you did, sir."

"Thank you for your confidence in me, Jarvis." Tony chuckled and then waited for Scarlett's information to float in front of him, blocking out the television that was now muted. He pushed the screen to the side and reclined on his new brown leather couch. It was a nice improvement to the white one he'd had. It was time for a change, maybe some darker colors for once. Things were too crisp and clean for too long. He was hoping for a more edgy, rugged, look to his home. The change in him needed to reflect in the change around him. It was symbolic. Also pretty comfortable.

"Hello?" Scarlett's voice sounded almost unfamiliar. Weary and weak, like she'd been sleeping. Alarm bells immediately went off in the back of Tony's mind. He contemplated getting into his suit and finding her, tracing her call, and making sure she was okay. It took an awful lot of mental coaching to keep from doing so. He was being paranoid! That's all. How many times had he prepared for situations that would never occur in the past few months? Tony thought to the dozens of suits that lined his basement and felt relieved. Yet something ate at the back of his thoughts, telling him not to let it go. 

"Hey, what happened to calling me when you got in?"

"I lost track of time." Scarlett still sounded out of it and on top of that there were strange noises behind her. With a snap of Tony's fingers, Jarvis set about trying to trace the sounds. 

"How are you liking your new lab setup? Impressed, I take it." Tony tried not to overreact. He wasn't allowed to be over protective. Besides, he was confident Scarlett could take care of herself. She didn't need him to protect her. Then again, he wanted to protect her, but not because she needed him to do so. He cursed mentally again that he was having all these thoughts and feelings about a woman he wasn't dating and that he couldn't date because he was dating someone else already. Sometimes it was hard being in Tony Stark's brain. It worked overtime all the time.

"I'm not actually. I'm sure I _would_ be but we never got that far." Scarlett cleared her throat and readjusted on the other end of the line. Tony felt relief surge through him. She must have just been sitting funny or falling asleep. Maybe she was jet-lagged and needed a nap after her flight or something. That _had_ to be it. Why did he keep getting it into his head that something was amiss? His imagination was a real jerk at times. What was the phrase? When you hear hooves think horses not zebras? Tony too frequently thought zebras.

"What?"

"It's funny. I went to Stark Industries and it seems they weren't expecting me." Scarlett yawned and confirmed that she had indeed been falling asleep somewhere. "Almost immediately upon arriving I was accosted by your tyrant of a girlfriend who then decided security should escort me off the premises." 

" _What?_ " Tony grimaced. No wonder she didn't call him. 

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure I must have offended her ancestors or something in another life because god she hates me." Scarlett laughed a little and rubbed her hand over her jaw as she spoke. 

Tony didn't know what to say. How could Pepper do that? He'd told her what was happening. He'd been pursuing this lead for weeks now, he wasn't going to just drop it because Pepper wanted him too. They'd fought about it over and over. Scarlett Damien and Refuge were the future and if Stark wanted to keep up the hype they were going to make a deal with her. Pepper had been dead set at keeping Refuge as their rivals but Tony thought they were better together than against each other.

It wasn't the arms race they were a part of anymore. There was no competition for whose gun was bigger or stronger. They could only benefit from working together. Since when did Pepper get to make decisions like that without his say so? Particularly when she knew how he felt about it. Yes, she had stepped in for him while he'd been struggling but he'd taken drastic measures to take the company back into his hands. Calls had all been sent to his house instead of the office and while he hadn't yet been back to the office more than to supervise the new builds, he was still the boss.

He was going to have to sit and have a talk with Pepper about her authority and how much of it she thought she had. CEO of his company had been a temporary thing. She'd quit ages ago, hadn't she? And he'd never asked her to step back into his shoes. He'd felt inadequate when she'd done so even if it was never her intention. Deep down he knew that Pepper had taken over to spare him the stress but she'd stripped him of what made him feel important.

"If you're not there then where are you? And why didn't you call?" Tony hoped to take the conversation elsewhere. He didn't like talking about Pepper with Scarlett. It made him feel like he was doing something wrong, maybe because he so desperately wanted to be doing something wrong after all. 

"I knew you'd be upset."

"Upset? No! What would make you think that." Tony scoffed. "Having my authority undermined doesn't irritate me at all."

"I knew you'd react like this."

"If you meet me in the parking lot we can get this all straightened out right now."

"Tony, take it easy okay? You don't need to go boss people around. We'll get it sorted out tomorrow. The day's more than half over already anyway." Scarlett smiled. She'd long since gotten over her encounter with Pepper. It wasn't like she'd had much time to process it anyway. Besides, Scarlett was used to women being catty, she simply hadn't expected it from the distinguished Pepper Potts. Partially she wondered if the woman was struggling because of what was happening with Tony. Maybe she wasn't herself. That had to be it. Women didn't like Scarlett, but she was rarely accused of being a home wrecker by someone so intelligent. 

"You were escorted off the premises by security and you're not even a little upset?"

"So your girlfriend doesn't like me, Tony. If I had to get upset every time someone's girlfriend didn't like me I would be stressed out of my skull. It's wasted energy! She was upset, she didn't expect to see me. I took her off guard and she lost her cool. I'm sure if she'd had a heads up then maybe…"

"Oh, so now it's _my_ fault for not having warned her?" Tony almost laughed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"That's not what I said."

"It sure sounded like it."

"Aw, are you feeling a little sensitive because I didn't call you?" Scarlett teased and she swore she heard Tony curse away from the phone before laughing. "Time got away from me. I told myself that I'd get the keys to my place and then call you once I'd gotten changed."

"So did it take you six hours to get changed?" Tony was impressed with how easily she'd wormed her way out of the conversation. There was no way she was _fine_ after Pepper had likely berated her. He'd heard her talk about Scarlett and he couldn't imagine what Pepper would say when actually face to face with the woman. It wasn't in Pepper's nature to get that flustered, she'd dealt with Tony for too many years. She must have been really upset.

Tony felt guilty.

He should have warned Pepper. For some reason he thought that not giving her the heads up would soften the blow. What kind of idiotic idea was that? Pepper was good under pressure, he thought the pressure of Scarlett suddenly showing up would force her to perform with grace. That had backfired dramatically.

"Aw, you really _are_ feeling sensitive!"

"I am _not_."

"Do you want a tissue? Jarvis, get him a tissue." Scarlett shouted over the phone.

"Jarvis, no! No!" Tony couldn’t help but chuckle as Jarvis asked him if he required tissues. He heard Scarlett giggling on the other end of the line and it was infectious. "God, no, that's not it. I was worried, that's all."

"That still _feels_ like you're sensitive."

"I thought women liked sensitive guys."

"I'm just _teasing_ you." Scarlett cleared her throat.

"Don't say it."

"There's no reason…"

"Don't you dare."

"…to be so sensitive."

"I hate you."

"Come on! I'm trying to make you laugh." Scarlett teased. "I got to my loft and I got changed as planned. Then I looked out the window and… the beach is really beautiful today." 

"That explains a lot." Tony realized now that the noise he overheard in the background had to be waves. She'd fallen asleep on the beach.

"So I took a walk and I _may_ have gotten a little too comfortable." Scarlett ran her fingers through her hair and blinked the sleepiness out of her eyes. In truth her stomach had been upset. She'd consumed half a roll of antacids and taken a walk. Sleep had dulled the ache and while she was left with a minor headache, she felt more like her old self.

"So the beach, huh?" Tony decided if it didn't bother Scarlett that Pepper had driven her off the property then it wouldn't bother him. Besides, if she was on the beach then it meant she was likely in a bathing suit. And that was far more fun to focus on. 

"Yeah, it's quite beautiful actually. I forgot how pretty the Pacific can be."

"Bluer than the Atlantic, don't you think?"

"Only if we're talking about the United States side." Scarlett smiled and flopped back down into the sand, resting her sunhat over her face to block out the fading light of the sun. "You should see it from Africa."

"Oh, international traveler, are we?"

"Like you aren't."

"So is it crowded? Must not have been for you to nap…"

"Not a soul in sight." Scarlett yawned. "Very relaxing."

"The beach can be pretty _fun_ too, you know."

"Oh, I know."

"You just need the right company, I think." Tony hinted, walking through his house and jogging up the stairs toward his bedroom."

"Do I, now?" Scarlett sat up, curiously. There was a light warm breeze on the air.

"Absolutely." Tony teased. "I'll be there in ten minutes with my suit if you want to know just how fun the beach can be."

"The Mark XLII isn't exactly beachy."

"Oh, oh I see what you did there." Tony actually laughed out loud, swimsuit in hand. "On the other hand, it's a nice quiet place that I could show you what I've been working on. You could take a nice look at the suit and see what you think."

"Showing me your suit sounds more like third date material." 

"I would say this is about a third date."

"Except that you're _not_ single and these aren't dates." Scarlett found herself reminding him of that more and more frequently and partially wishing that she didn't have to. Not because she wanted to be the other woman but because she wished that it wasn't the case. She liked Tony Stark. As much as she denied it when Natasha harassed her about it, Scarlett knew what was happening to her. It wasn't like she'd never felt any sort of attraction to anyone before. It'd only happened a number of times this intensely and maybe even then nowhere quite near what she felt now, but still, she recognized it.

There was no way she'd say it out loud or admit it to anyone, but god if there was ever a time to live up to her reputation, she would want it to be now.

"Sure, sure…" Tony walked down the stairs, through his kitchen and into his wine cellar after punching in a code. "I'll show you mine if you show me yours."

"Oh, now that's definitely third date material."

"I've never been a patient guy, you know."

"Really? Never would have guessed that."

"I always get what I want."

"And what is it you want, Tony?" Scarlett dared him to say it out loud, to admit that it wasn't in her head and god did Tony want to. More than ever he wanted to be single. For the first time since New York Tony felt alive. Something about Scarlett had brought him back from the dead. If he felt this alive just talking to her he couldn't imagine how alive he'd feel if he actually got to touch her, to act on impulse, to kiss her, to take her to bed. 

"I want to grab my suit and meet you at the beach." Tony cleared his throat and swore his voice broke. He covered it up the best he could with a cough. Sure, he could have crossed a line. She had given him the right opportunity but he had decided against it. Tony wasn't a cheater. Though he found that he had to remind himself of that a hundred times each day lately. Then again, when he'd asked Pepper if she'd cheated she'd never given a real response. Instead she'd become flustered. So why should Tony care so much?

Tony had never been cheated on before, not in a serious relationship. He'd been in open relationships before, or relationships of convenience, but he was mostly indifferent to how it felt. There had once been a time where he'd say that cheating was no big deal but that had been before he'd dated Pepper, before he'd opened his heart to anyone.

Now even the idea of it hurt like hell. No matter how angry he was, no matter how sure he was that Pepper was off doing something with Happy, he didn't want her to feel quite like _this._

"I'm not so sure that's a good idea, Tony." Scarlett was apprehensive for the same reasons Tony was and more. She felt vulnerable. The fact that her parents had died had left her feeling sadder than she'd expected. Yeah, they'd been pretty dreadful parents but not to the point where she'd wished them death. No one deserved that. Hopefully it had been quick and painless.

"I'm already picking out a bottle of wine." 

"That is _definitely_ not a good idea."

"You just said you wanted to have some fun!"

"No, you said I wanted to have some fun, I said I had taken a nap." Scarlett laughed and ran her fingers through her hair and placed her hat down on the sand next to her. The ocean waves rolled toward her and then back again. The sound was soothing and if it wasn't for the phone she had it would be all she heard. It would be too romantic to have Tony with her at the beach. God and then he wanted to bring wine? Feeling vulnerable and with a good buzz, Scarlett wasn't sure she would have the willpower to stop herself.

"You already took a nap." Tony brushed his fingers over a few wine bottles. "Are you a red or white wine kind of woman? I'm guessing…"

"Red." Scarlett smiled. Maybe she was over reacting. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad. Tony was her business partner now, she would have to get used to spending time alone with him without thinking about the things she wasn't allowed to do.

"Knew it. Napa cab alright with you?"

"Tony…" Scarlett drifted off and then placed her hand to her forehead. "Seriously, what do you want me to do here?"

"Wear a two piece, preferably." 

"I meant about work."

"That's way less fun, I mean you can still wear a two piece but it's kind of dangerous…"

"I have to be back in Boston in a few days for Refuge stuff. What am I doing in Malibu if I'm not working with you?" 

"Don't worry, I'll take care of it by tomorrow morning, okay?" Tony reassured her and tucked the wine safely away in a carry case. "Do you have wine glasses at your place?"

"What kind of question is that?"

"I'll take that as a yes." Tony started toward his garage. "So where are you staying?"

"It's not important." Scarlett felt a smile play on her lips at last. He wanted to come over, he wasn't even asking anymore. He had wine, presumably a swimsuit, and probably a really sexy car. 

"That's not funny."

"The beach is _really_ gorgeous though. Nothing but beach in each direction…" She let out a dreamy sigh and leaned her elbows on her knees.

"You're teasing me again."

"We were supposed to be working."

"Well now it's a recreational day." Tony thought again that Scarlett sounded sad. Maybe it hadn't been in his head when he'd first heard her pick up the phone. Yes, she had obviously been sleepy but it was possible she was also sad. "Do you need to talk?"

"Only if you can find me." Scarlett smiled. Had the melancholy feeling that had fell on her shoulders earlier that day come off in her voice? She hadn't meant it too. She was becoming too comfortable around Tony, her thoughts were betraying her.

"Is that a challenge?"

"What, are you not up for it?" Scarlett smirked, trying to sound more playful, less sorrowful.

"Oh, Scarlett, you have no idea how up for it I am."


	26. Sunset

Warm sand scratched her bare feet, slipping between her toes. They were freed once again as she wiggled them. Scarlett stole a glance back at the loft she'd rented by the beach. The lights were off but only moments ago she'd been inside. After she'd hung up with Tony she'd turned off the phone and hid it in her bedroom. Then she'd slipped a bathing suit on beneath the sundress she'd already been wearing and headed back onto the beach.

There was a chill to the wind, but not so much that it was uncomfortable. Lights twinkled far down the beach to the south. Someone was having a party there. Scarlett couldn't help but wonder what it was like. There had been a time where she would have joined them, invited or not, and would have had the time of her life.

It seemed immature to do that now. The waves caught her eye again, rolling in consistently, the water getting closer and closer with each wave that fell as the tide rolled in. Soon it would reach her feet and the sand would be washed away.

Scarlett wouldn't be having anymore beach parties. Leaning against her knees she heaved a sigh. A forlorn sort of whimper escaped her lips as she thought about the ocean. She'd never gotten to go back to Japan to see an old friend like she always said she would. 

There were a thousand things Scarlett had been waiting to do until her life was less dangerous. That would never happen now. She'd never see Paris. Something in her chest ached and she thought again to the side effects she'd been experiencing. Chest pains hadn't been on that list, at least not yet. Besides, it wasn't that kind of pain. 

It was an ache, an emptiness.

Scarlett had told herself she'd go to Paris someday just to enjoy the beauty of it, not for a job. Would it be silly to request with S.H.I.E.L.D. that they could let her move there? Running her hand through her hair she tried to push those dark thoughts away. Never had she thought so much of dying before. Even when she'd flirted with the notion it had never scared her like it did now. Amazing how one bad doctor's visit could change her whole life. Even bloodied, tortured, _actually_ near death had somehow been easier than this. She didn't feel like she was dying. Part of her knew she wouldn't until she was knocking on death's door. Illness. What a way to go. A bullet to the head was almost preferable. 

She'd never loved anyone, not really. 

It seemed a petty thing to want to experience now. Scott had _wanted_ to love her and look how that panned out. Love was something Scarlett didn't deserve at this point. Hadn't she thrown love away? There had always been time for that later in her mind.

Now it was later and there was no time left.

It turned out that Scarlett had never enjoyed life. That was a tough realization to come to but it was the truth nonetheless. Ever since she was a kid she'd spent her days breaking rules, pushing limits, getting into trouble. Sure, some would say she really lived, but had she? What did she have to show for it now when it mattered?

Money, of course. 

But money wasn't giving her any happiness now that she really needed it. Never had she felt such despair over anything, not even when she'd been younger and more irrational than she now was. Scarlett had no one. She had Natasha, of course, but even that was more of a contractual obligation than anything else. As petty as it seemed, Scarlett would have given everything up not to feel alone.

Even that was something she had no right to anymore. With a grunt she flopped back onto the hard sand and stared at the sky. It was purple above her and orange and pink still over the water. The sky was beautiful. Nature was beautiful.

Scarlett couldn't be so selfish that she could involve anyone in her drama. Tony, however, seemed to want to weasel his way right into it. Of all the people in all the world, she had never expected to want Tony Stark to be a part of her life. Yet there she was selfishly wishing she had a little more time, a little more hope. If she could go back and do it all again, she wasn't sure what she'd do.

Regret after regret weighed her down, crushing her. Her breath fell short and she found that she was nervously chewing her lip.

"God damnit." Scarlett cleared her throat and leaned her head to the side. There were cliffs in the distance to the north. They were menacing but oddly beautiful. She'd been told that area had been privately owned and it was why she had no neighbors. She was alright with that. It made it easier for her to keep an eye on her surroundings. 

How long could she really lay there moping? There was no time to feel sorry for herself and yet for the first time in her life, she selfishly wanted to. Scarlett had always embraced whatever fate had become of her with open arms but this all seemed grossly unfair. She'd never been a good person, she knew that, but she'd never been a bad person either. It wasn't always easy but she'd tried to do the right thing. Sometimes there was no _right_ or wrong, just the lesser of two evils. She'd never been afraid to do what was necessary. Always she had thought that the reason heroes didn't always win was because they weren't willing to go to the same extremes that villains went to.

Was that what had done her in? Is that what she had done to deserve this? Her past was drenched in blood and heartache and never had that once bothered her. Not until now. 

"You have got to stop being so damn wishy-washy." Scarlett swatted at the sand that flew every which way and then looked back toward the sky. It was breathtaking. The sky was clear and the stars were just beginning to show in the dark purple to the east. There was still a chance, a very slim chance, that she would be just fine and that all this moping was pointless.

Still, she couldn't help it. Scarlett was pretty smart. She knew what her odds were and she wasn’t the type to hold onto blind faith. Sometimes she wished she was.

There was a soft shuffling in the sand a ways behind her. It grew closer and Scarlett smiled inwardly. Those dark thoughts drifted from the forefront of her mind. So much time had passed that Scarlett wasn't sure if Tony was actually going to find her or not. Her hat was lying on top of the wine glasses she'd taken from the loft, waiting.

Finally he stood next to her and clicked his tongue in disappointment. Scarlett glanced up at him and smiled curiously.

"Not what I expected."

"Hmm?"

"No two piece?" Tony walked around her and set down the bottle of wine in the sand but only for a second. Scoffing in disgust, Scarlett kicked sand at Tony who recoiled and laughed before pulling a folded up corkscrew from the bag and starting to open the bottle of wine.

"A sundress isn't good enough for you?"

"Let me see how short it is before I decide." Tony joked and then ran out of range as she kicked sand at him again. "No more! You're going to taint my wine."

"How'd you find me?" Scarlett sat up and stretched, arching her back and curling her toes in the sand.

"It was no big deal." Tony couldn't help but think she looked sad. It could have been in his head, he could have been seeing what he wanted to see, but he got the distinct feeling that she was off. Maybe tonight he could finally ask her what's going on. There was so much to her story that he didn't know and he was tired of being in the dark. Then again, if she kept arching her back like that in the sand he could be sufficiently distracted all night long.

"Bullshit." Scarlett scoffed, leaning on her side to watch him. As Tony pulled the cork from the wine bottle it made a satisfying pop! Scarlett pulled out the wine glasses from beneath her hat and held them out to him after unwrapping them from the dishtowel she'd secured them in. 

"It was just a simple matter of trying to triangulate your position from the signal I'd received from your phone." Tony cleared his throat and poured himself a glass of wine. Then he examined it in the fading light of the day and made a sound of approval.

"And when that didn't work?" Scarlett held up her glass so Tony could fill it and saw a smile on his lips.

"Well, then I checked out lofts for rent in the area and narrowed it down to beach front property." Tony poured the wine slowly into her glass. "Say when." She nodded as he poured. "Then I changed distance to those just far enough away from my place that you'd have an excuse to go home but still close enough that the commute wouldn't be inconvenient." Scarlett nodded for him to stop pouring wine. "That good?" She nodded again and then took a sip of the wine and smiled. It really was good wine. He knew his vineyards.

"Then what?"

"Then I used my best judgment. Lo and behold I took a guess and found you." Tony couldn't help but smile. "To be honest I looked at the listings and thought… which would I rent?" 

"I can't tell if I'm insulted or not." Scarlett chuckled and ran her fingers through her hair to shake out the sand. Tony offered his hand to help her up. Usually it was something Scarlett would ignore but for once she took it. Then she got to her feet and dusted off the sand, placing her hat back atop her head so it wouldn't be forgotten. 

There was very little light of the day left and yet just enough to shine on Tony. He really did come in a swimsuit and a black t-shirt that just hid the light of his arc reactor enough to keep from illuminating the beach. He looked happy and handsome, well manicured as ever and oozing confidence. But there was something behind all that and it shook Scarlett. He was nervous.

"I'm sorry about Pepper." Tony began gingerly. The last thing he wanted to do was ruin the mood. Scarlett seemed oddly pliable and he was going to take advantage of it. Not so much pliable, he considered, as she seemed in need of something. Instantly his mind dove into the gutter, knowing just what she could be in need of. Realistically he knew it was something more than a carnal desire but rather some sort of emotional ache. "I'll get it all sorted out before we go back there."

"It's really okay." Scarlett secured the hat on her head and smiled. "This wine more than makes up for it."

"She's just jealous, really." Tony felt the need to explain even though he really didn't have to. "Things aren't so great between us right now and I think she's looking for reasons to be upset."

"So why do you stay with her if she's mistreating you?"

"I didn't say _that!_ " Tony widened his eyes and nearly choked on his wine.

"You didn't outright say it _but…_ "

"What? Tell me."

"I'm pretty sure that's why you called me that night. It was _her._ Not me." Scarlett cleared her throat and Tony stood dumbfounded. Very rarely was he left speechless by anyone but Scarlett had hit the nail on the head. Was he really that transparent? He thought he'd put a pretty good front. If Scarlett could see so much truth dripping off of him why was it that the others around him couldn't? People he knew for years were fooled by him on a daily basis. 

"Pepper's a good woman." Scarlett nodded her head and started slowly walking north on the beach, letting her toes squish between the warm sand. It felt oddly comforting. "A strong woman too. Pretty smart from what I know. I think she means well."

"Wow." Tony cleared his throat and slowly meandered after Scarlett. "That's not what she says about _you_."

"Ah, you see, there are very _few_ women who say anything nice about me these days." Scarlett laughed. "You'd be surprised how many people believe what they read. Even people who claim not to… it has an effect. Especially with women."

"It sure had an effect on me." Tony teased.

"The point is that you deserve to be happy, Tony." Scarlett stopped walking and turned to face him. "I know you were a scumbag at one point but still, you deserve happiness as much as everyone else."

"A scumbag? That's harsh."

"Let me finish."

"I just want to know why you chose scumbag, of all the words."

"Do you really want to get into that right now?"

"A little bit." Tony sounded defensive, but honestly he just wanted to get off of the topic of Pepper. Scarlett was hitting so close to the truth that it was hurting him. The last thing he wanted was to panic in front of her or worse, spill his guts. What if he told her everything? If he laid it all on the line, told her that he'd been convinced he was going to die, then when he'd come back he realized he had. Not in the actual literal sense, but he'd locked himself away so completely that he may as well not have been breathing. What if he told her that and she comforted him? 

Suddenly he wanted that.

"Regardless you've really made amends for all that. It's clear that you deserve happiness."

"I'd like to think so." Tony chuckled and then scratched his head. "You really thought I was a scumbag?" Scarlett nodded and sipped at the wine. She didn't want to drink too much, not because she actually didn't want to but rather because she knew what kind of trouble she could get into if they drank too much. "Ouch."

"It's not like that."

"It sorta seems like that. No wonder you turned me down."

"That wasn't why!"

"You don't have to sugar coat it, Damien, I can see it all over you. You thought I was a dirtbag!"

"I _still_ think you're a pig if that helps."

"No! It doesn't help!" Tony laughed.

"I really thought ill of you way back when. Honestly, even just a year ago if you had asked me to work with you I probably would have ranted and raved about what an evil corporation you ran and what a selfish life you lived."

"Wow, this just keeps getting worse."

"I've always worked with other scientists, other engineers on and off. So many of us thought you were a joke. We weren't sure what was coming from you and what came from the people you hired. Yes, we know you're a genius. That's obvious. But… all the press. Like I said, it has an effect, even on those of us who usually don't judge from those sorts of things. I guess it's why I understand how Pepper feels." Scarlett hoped she hadn't crossed a line. This was the most she'd been honest with anyone outside of S.H.I.E.L.D. in a very long time. Somehow it felt very dangerous to be so very honest, but Scarlett didn't want to lie to Tony.

"I'm not really that surprised. Most other scientists felt that way until they met me."

"Even after everything you went through. When I watched you change in the media, most of it felt staged. I had a really hard time believing it was true." Scarlett couldn't stop smiling despite it all. At first the truth had felt vulnerable now it felt good.

"So what changed your mind? You've been pretty good to me even after I broke into your office."

"I met you." Scarlett nodded simply.

"Just like that? You changed your mind? All you had to do was meet me?"

"Sure did." Scarlett knew that wasn't the truth and her smile slowly fell away. It wasn't at all why she knew he'd truly changed. It wasn't that simple. Change didn't just happen that way. Scarlett knew it was possible because she'd had to change just as drastically. It was harder than people realized, becoming a different person and it rarely happened without necessity behind it. Tony had become a different person because life had forced him to face his demons. Scarlett's had finally caught up to her and were dragging her slowly into the mud. Part of her wanted to say it out loud. 

_Just tell him,_ she thought. 

She didn't have to reveal anything, not really. All she had to say was that she could understand how he changed after such a trauma because she had done the same. She wanted to tell him how much she admired the good he had done with the hand that had been dealt to him. Yes, he had been a scumbag and even had been guilty of some terrible things but instead of wallowing in self pity he'd built some good from it. His energy research was going to change the world. Tony Stark really was saving the planet. 

Scarlett had objected to Refuge at first. The more she thought about it the more it scared her. The limelight was never where she'd preferred to be. Shadows were more her scene, they always had been. As time had passed, Scarlett knew she had little time left and if she could do some good with her talents then she would risk it. Then Refuge had been born and suddenly it'd become her cause. Yeah, she still hated being all over the media but Scarlett had adjusted.

In a way, she thought it could be what made her so drawn to Tony Stark, besides the obvious.

Could she really tell him all of that without telling him about her past? There was no way. He'd want to know what she did in the shadows. He'd want to know why she was suddenly changing into someone she never had been. The truth was too much, too big a burden to give to Tony Stark. The man was going through so much without all her baggage on top of it. He deserved more than that. He deserved for someone to unburden him, not make it worse. Everything about Scarlett would make it worse.

"Scarlett?" Tony thought she was going to say something but instead she just avoided his eyes. "Scarlett?" He said more seriously as silence continued. When she didn't respond he tilted her chin toward him to force her attention. She'd slipped away somewhere and it partially scared him. Something was wrong with her and it wasn't just in his head anymore.

There was a sudden whirlwind of emotion in those stormy blue eyes that were usually filled with such intrigue and danger. Now they were filled with something else. Scarlett wanted to tell him something, she was struggling with something deep and emotional. He was right when he'd said she'd been lost. 

"Hmm?" She glanced back up at him again, regretting looking right into those brown eyes, dripping with honey. He was reading her like a book and she had to stop it from happening. But how? God, she never should have taken this job. She never should have come to Malibu. This was a disaster. It was too much.

"You look sad." Reluctantly he pulled his hand from her cheek where he'd accidentally allowed it to rest. Her skin was cold, not what he'd expected. Immediately her demeanor changed and Scarlett perked up with a smile.

"No way!" Scarlett laughed and spun around to face the water, allowing her feet to dip into the very edge of the waves that rolled up. "Look at this place! How could I be sad? It's gorgeous here."

"Are you sure…" Tony almost discarded his glass of wine. If Scarlett needed someone to lean on he wanted to be that person. Never before in his life had he felt the need to care for someone the way that he wanted to for Scarlett. Partially it was selfish. He wanted to know all about her, she was interesting. Then he wanted to return the favor she'd so selflessly done for him. 

If she could need him the way he had needed her it would have been beautiful. A beautiful disaster maybe, but one worthy of a memory.

"Oh yeah. Sorry, I'm… pretty jetlagged. It's been awhile since I traveled so far and it got to me. I feel like I've been awake for eternity!" Scarlett laughed and as she turned back to him she managed to keep up the façade. Tony didn't fall for it, not this time. Underneath everything, the happiness that seemingly radiated from her, the confidence she oozed with, he could see it. Something was eating away at her from the inside out. It wasn't in his head, he'd always seen it. For awhile he'd second guessed that it could be in his imagination but now he knew for sure it wasn't.

Scarlett was absolutely hiding something and not just from him. He was almost sure she was hiding it from herself.

"Travel's a bitch." Tony nodded and shook the bottle of wine playfully before taking a sip from his glass. "Come with me, I want to show you something." Tony started north in the sand along the water toward the rocks in the distance.

"Where are we going? That's private property. Pretty sure this is trespassing."

"Just trust me."

"That's a tall order!"

"If I'm wrong I'll give you another bottle of this wine. Come on, it'll be worth it. I want to show you something."

"I thought you were bringing the suit to look at."

"That was a joke. It's parked."

"Alright." Scarlett adjusted her hat, took a long sip of her wine and then started after him in the sand. As much as she'd resisted the idea of alcohol she couldn't stop drinking it either. "Lead the way, Stark." 


	27. Hideaway

"Slow down, Stark!" Scarlett felt her chest constrict as she followed after Tony who was practically jogging in the sand nearer and nearer to the rocks no longer in the distance. They'd been traveling for what felt like miles, walking at first slowly and chatting while they exhausted Tony's bottle of wine. As time passed, Tony grew more excited about their destination, wherever it was, ditched the empty bottle of wine in the sand along with his shoes and urged Scarlett to move faster, sometimes even running around her to try and drag her into the water.

"No!" Tony turned and stuck his tongue out at her. Scarlett laughed, but could feel the exhaustion hitting her like a ton of bricks. This was the first time that the fatigue and shortness of breath people kept telling her about was actually noticeable. Even while exercising Scarlett had managed to stay completely normalized but now after an hour of walking in the sand with Tony she could feel the tightness in her lungs. The saliva in her mouth became thick and difficult to swallow and she found that she had to clear her throat far too frequently. Soon throat clearing became coughing and there was little hiding it.

Usually the coughing fits were very sudden. Never before had they limited her in such a way, at least not since before she'd approached S.H.I.E.L.D.

"Seriously, Tony?" Scarlett gagged then coughed and stopped along the shore. Her feet were covered in sand, half soaked from Tony's near successful attempt to drag her into the water. She took the last sip from her wine glass before gingerly placing it in the sand. On the way back to her loft she'd retrieve it, if she remembered by then. Tony had long since ditched his glass after finishing his wine and it seemed to give him renewed energy. Wine had only managed to make Scarlett sleepy. Besides that, it kept repeating on her. It was possible wine was going to have to be off the menu for a little while after this. The sun had set and all that illuminated the night were the stars above and the lights from the road in the distance. It was hauntingly beautiful.

"Keep up, Damien!" 

"I'm exhausted, _Stark!_ " Scarlett hurried after him in the sand, but her feet were beginning to numb. This wasn't something she could keep up for much longer. She needed a break. Thankfully the rocks weren't that much further and he would run out of places to lead her. Unless he wanted to climb them and she wouldn't think that was very funny. The walk back was something she had instantly begun to dread the moment her lungs had begun to ache. Hell, she was feeling dizzy from the lack of oxygen. Or maybe it was the wine, Scarlett didn't like it either way. 

"You can't fool me, I can tell you're in _damn_ good shape! Come on!" Tony walked backwards, a wide smile plastered on his face as he slowed just enough in hopes of allowing her to catch up. His excitement hadn't faded, in fact it had only grown the closer he'd gotten to his special place. It was luck that Scarlett had chosen this particular loft to rent for her stay in Malibu and he was going to take advantage of it. Hell, he'd nearly forgotten about the place until he'd found her.

"I am jet lagged!" Scarlett would have to stop using that excuse eventually but it was the best thing she could come up with when her ears were ringing and her head was spinning. Finally, as her feet crashed onto the sand, she thought her legs might give out. Instead of arguing with him she held up her hand and leaned the other onto her knee so she could focus on breathing. For a brief second she saw stars and at last she had to break up the mucus building in her throat, in her lungs.

The cough filled her chest with pain, racked her stomach and what came out was just as awful as expected. As she sat there coughing, catching her breath, she could think of at least ten other excuses for her lack of stamina. She had a cold, she was getting over a cold, it was sinuses, the humidity was getting to her. No. She'd gone with _jetlag_. 

Genius.

Tony's smile fell as he watched her choke on something and slowly he meandered through the sand toward her. For a brief moment he considered asking if she was alright. He knew she'd make an excuse and even if she wasn't alright he'd never get the truth. The closer he got to her, the more concerned he felt. His thoughts returned to the articles written for the small paper he'd found that had piqued his entrance. Someone had theorized she was ill. After all, she'd passed out and had to go to the hospital. Then she'd dressed up to let the press know she was doing just fine. She'd even _told_ him that was the case. But why would she have to do that if _nothing was wrong?_ Tony tried to convince himself he was over thinking but even the rational part of him was starting to think something was up.

There she was, incapacitated by the same cough he'd watched her struggle with the night of the play in Boston. Could it be possible that she really _was_ sick? He didn't want to think it was true but the evidence was piling up. Then again, she could just struggle with asthma or something. When it came down to it, Tony didn't really know much about Scarlett in that respect. It wasn't like they'd sat and discussed any personal issues or medical history. They'd spoken quite a bit that night over pizza but when Tony thought about it, Scarlett hadn't actually revealed anything _personal_. Yes, she had interests and there was quite a bit to her business-wise but that was all she'd divulged. Very cleverly she'd managed to avoid any personal questions he'd asked with either flirting or distraction. He was beginning to think she was doing it on purpose. 

"So, is this thing you want to show me really worth this long ass walk? Because if there's not like… shirtless oiled waiters hiding in those rocks with champagne and massages I don't think it is." Scarlett joked as she cleared her throat, attempting to clear the obvious tension in the air. Tony was worried about her. He wore his damn heart on his sleeve, at least she thought he did. Maybe it was just for her.

"It's _better_ than that!"

"Are you sure?" Scarlett laughed. "I painted quite the picture there."

"Here, come on." Tony started toward her, arms out and Scarlett backed up at once.

"What do you think you're doing?"

" _Helping!_ "

"Oh no you don't, Tony," Scarlett stumbled backward in the sand but sure enough Tony grabbed her around the waist and scooped her up into his arms, "this is the worst idea! This is not helping! I'm too tall for this!" Despite her objections, Scarlett laughed.

"Come on, just… I'm gonna swing you around and…" Tony did as he said and Scarlett wrapped her legs around his middle and her arms around his shoulders.

"Oh my god, this is the worst idea." Scarlett still laughed in spite of it all and as she continued to object, Tony readjusted his grip on her and then started through the sand toward the rocks. "Tony! Put me down, I can walk! You just have to stop running so far ahead!"

"But I'm _excited_!" Tony was out of breath, the wine getting to his head, making his cheeks rosy. He continued closer and closer to the rocks that had once been in the distance. Now they were right on top of them and the water lapped against them threateningly. Wind howled and Scarlett, for a second, gripped onto him tighter as he came to a stop in front of the water. "Look how beautiful it is. Isn't the view amazing?"

"I swear if you made me come all this way just to look at the ocean I am gonna smack you _so_ hard." 

"No, no… There's more to it than this." Tony chuckled and as Scarlett squirmed he grabbed onto her legs tighter.

"Put me down, I can walk just fine! I asked you to slow down, not carry me around."

"You said something about oiled men massaging you with champagne or something? I was just giving you some wish fulfillment."

"You are not oiled, you don't have champagne, and that was _not_ a massage."

"Okay but I brought _wine_ which is better than champagne really _._ Less pretentious."

"Just put me down." Scarlett scoffed and at last Tony let go of her legs and Scarlett gingerly placed her feet back in the sand. "Thank god. Ask next time, will you?"

"You would have said no and well, then it would have ended the same way, right? I was just cutting out all that middle crap." Tony waved his hand in amusement and nodded toward the rocks. "If you're not going to continue using me like a camel then you're going to have to keep up."

"Keep up? There's nowhere to go, Tony! We have literally run into a stone wall." Scarlett leaned against the surprisingly cool rocks and smacked her hand against them. They were smooth, not what she expected. From a distance they seemed so jagged and intimidating. 

"Oh, you're just not looking hard enough." Tony comically waggled his eyebrows and then dipped his feet into the water. "Cold! Yikes!" He did a little dance back and forth until his feet adjusted and then started further in the water. "Come on, this way."

"Oh no, no way. Absolutely _not_ , Tony." Scarlett laughed and backed away from the water.

"Come on, it's going to be fun!" Tony turned toward her. When she didn't follow him and only gave him a look that told him just how she felt about his suggestion he started out of the water. "It's not that bad, I was exaggerating!" Tony reached for her hand and began to pull her into the water. She swatted his grip away and he pouted. "Please? You won't regret it. I promise" 

"Those are some big promises…" Scarlett began but then something inside Tony's eyes caught her by surprise. He was disappointed. There really _was_ something he wanted to show her and so she softened at once. With a sigh she pulled her hat off, put it in the sand and buried just enough to keep it from flying away, and then started into the water. "You really are a big baby, this water isn't that bad." Scarlett laughed and the disappointment in Tony's gaze lifted. He smiled wider than a little kid with candy. 

"I told you, I was pretending for entertainment value."

"Sure, sure you were, tough guy." Scarlett swam with Tony toward the rocks. "You do realize we're going to get smacked into these things."

"You're tough, you can handle it."

"Oh, okay, just making sure you knew." Scarlett rolled her eyes. The sand wasn't a gradual release into the water. About three feet in, the ocean floor disappeared beneath them. Waves crashed against them, pushing them closer to the rocks which they followed along their border. They kept just far enough to keep from slamming against them repeatedly and getting hurt. Still, it was far more dangerous than Scarlett had anticipated.

Tony seemed so confident in where he was headed that she'd chosen to trust him. It was a pretty bold move, considering how rarely she trusted and how little she knew of him. Yet, that look of excitement on his face had been somehow worth the risk they were taking.

"Okay, we're going to grab onto these smaller rocks here at the end and climb up!"

"If you wanted to go rock climbing we could have just done that." Scarlett joked, out of breath as she swam, but not nearly as badly as she had been on the shore earlier. Temporarily she'd forgotten about the tightness in her chest, about the test results that haunted her dreams. This was that normal out of breath feeling, the one she had gotten used to. 

"I'm going to hold you to that." Tony was just as out of breath. For a few moments he'd really thought that Scarlett was going to tell him no and return to the beach house she'd rented. "Can you reach that rock? My hand keeps slipping." Tony grunted as he splashed just enough out of the water to make a grab at a rock just above him. His fingers grasped around it but he couldn't keep a grip and fell into the water with a comical splash. Scarlett smirked a and when Tony came back up from the water he wiped the wetness away and blinked his eyes free of it.

"Stay back a little bit." Scarlett nodded to Tony who did as he was told. She waited for the waves to push her a bit higher, braced one hand against the stone and then with made a grab for the same rock that had betrayed Tony. At first her fingers slipped but she managed to tuck the tips of her fingers just beneath a little ledge of stone. "Alright." She waited for the water to again lap against the rocks before using the side of the rocks to pull herself up. Her other hand gripped stone and she climbed on top of the rocks and sat there for just a moment to regain her breath. 

"See, I knew you were in good shape!" Tony smiled confidently. Scarlett adjusted herself on the rocks, belly down and reached a hand down to Tony. Her feet hooked on the back of the stones behind her to make sure she'd have enough leverage to pull Tony up. "Are you sure?"

"Oh, stop wasting our time." Scarlett laughed and so without a second hesitation, Tony grabbed her hand and then grabbed the same rock he'd slipped off of several times. When his fingers slipped, too big for the narrow gap Scarlett had used to assist her, Scarlett grabbed his other hand and then scooted up to her knees and helped pull him up.

Tony sat down on the stone next to her and looked out at the dark water in front of them. Scarlett wiped off her knees and then swung her legs over the side to sit next to him. For a moment they sat, looking over the water. Every so often the waves hit the rocks with such force that a gentle mist sprayed over their legs. Tony sighed heavily. It wasn't like him to be so quiet. Scarlett watched him from the corner of her eye. The ocean had bewitched him. She leaned over and nudged his shoulder with hers.

"Is this what you wanted to show me?" Her voice seemed much quieter than usual in comparison to the waves. Tony smiled a little bit and then turned to look down at her. She was close and didn't shy away from him There was dirt smeared all over his black shirt from the climb up the rocks. He wiped his hand over his face nonchalantly in case there was any on his face.

"No, it's not. I just needed a breather."

"Oh, I see how it is. You get a breather but I have to nearly choke on my own spit to get one." Scarlett teased.

"No, well… okay, yeah, I guess." Tony smirked and when he pulled his hand from his face it was covered in mud and Scarlett bit her lip to stifle the amusement. "What? What's so funny?"

"Look at your hand." Scarlett cleared her throat to mask her laughter.

"Aw man!" Tony wiped his hand on his swim trunks and then started wiping mercilessly at his face. "Is it gone?" He'd been fine until he'd tried to wipe the invisible muck from his face. Doing so had the opposite effect. 

"Sit still, okay?" Scarlett turned so she had her back to the ocean they'd climbed from and Tony continued to wipe at his face.

"It's all caught in my beard!"

"Well, if you'd just _sit still_." 

"Don't know how. Jarvis says it's a real problem." Tony nodded but then Scarlett grabbed his chin with such a steady hand he widened his eyes. "Jeez, if you wanted to play rough you just had to ask."

"Just stay there." Scarlett wiped the mud away from his cheek and dusted out his beard the best she could.

"Or you could not ask, that is _also_ hot." Tony grinneded and Scarlett finished wiping his cheek before giving him a good playful smack. "Ow! Hey, I was _kidding!_ "

"Shouldn't make jokes like that if you aren't prepared for the fallout." Scarlett pulled her knees close to her chest and rested her arm against them. "So, if we're not here to look at the water, then why _are_ we here?"

"I'll show you." Tony carefully stood and offered Scarlett his hand. Again she took it and got to her feet. "Just don't slip."

"So far you are the only one who has slipped."

"Don't be a smart ass."

"Don't be condescending." Scarlett countered and Tony actually laughed. He wasn't used to people actually responding quite as on point as she did. As they walked, Tony reluctantly released her hand and placed his against the small of her back, guiding her forward. She didn't argue, she didn't see the point. Besides, it's not like anyone would see them up here and it wasn't like his hand was six inches lower.

" _This_ is what I wanted you to see." Tony led Scarlett around one of the larger rocks and down a few feet. When she turned past the rock, Scarlett stopped short. The rocks were _gone_. 

Well, sort of.

Rocks framed a small beach area. Vines and palm trees grew just along the perimeter of stone, overgrown from the balmy summer. Every so often, Scarlett could pick out lanterns that had been hung along the rocks to light the area. Water lapped against the sand peacefully, nothing like it did against the rocks just behind them. On the far north end of the private oasis was a cavern where water flowed inside.

It looked a little abandoned but it was still beautiful. Scarlett had seen secret places like this in the world before. Never had she sat to _enjoy_ them before. Sure, she'd ruined others' enjoyment of them, but never had the privilege of enjoying it herself. Tony walked around Scarlett, through the water and onto the sand. From his pocket he withdrew a small pouch, waterproof, and pulled forth a lighter.

One by one he lit the lanterns and the oasis came to life. Despite being overgrown and poorly cared for, it was beautiful, wild. Scarlett stepped slowly back in the water and followed Tony, walking past him to the secret little hideaway in the cave. Someone had purposely carved out the inside of the cavern so that there was a place to sit. Inside the stone had been smoothed out. 

Tony watched Scarlett as she explored and smiled. He knew she'd like that place. He hadn't been there in so long he'd almost forgotten about it. That was until he'd taken the time to track Scarlett's location in hopes of spending an evening at the beach with her. Placing the lighter back in his pocket, he looked down at his filthy shirt and pulled it over his head. Draping it on the rocks nearby, Tony dusted himself off and searched for more lanterns to light.

Scarlett had gone inside the cave to look around. Tony followed and when she turned on alert at his presence he held up a hand to quiet her.

Reaching just past her he flicked the lighter back to life and lit the lanterns on either side of the cavern. Light reflected off of the water and the stone walls, filling the cave with a brilliant orange hue. The water was clearer here than it had been on the beach where they'd begun. It was somehow more inviting all lit up, filled with warmth and promise. Scarlett turned every which way and let out a small laugh before looking back at Tony. He smiled knowingly and then watched as she moved past him in the water and walked back toward the rocks.

Tony paid her no mind. She was curious so he would let her explore. Carefully she moved vines, searched for any other secrets the lagoon might hold for them. He watched her. While she had seemed so sad and out of it before, Tony now saw something different. She was happy. At least he thought she was happy. There were secrets hidden there but Tony knew them well. So he sat in the sand and allowed his bottom half to be submerged in the ocean water. It rolled back and forth against him gently, comforting him. He closed his eyes and relaxed in the sand, letting his head lean back against it as he listened to her footsteps. Nothing needed to be said, not now.

Happy, content silence fell between them; something Tony hadn't heard in a long time. Usually the sound of his chaotic, constant thoughts drove him mad, filled him with nervous energy, but right now everything was quiet, still, comfortable.

He'd forgotten what that could feel like. Opening his eyes once again he saw the stars beginning to sparkle one by one as the sky darkened enough to allow them life. Another comforting thought. It had been the first time in a long time that Tony had looked at the sky and hadn't seen the possibility of war, of death, of civilizations years ahead of them in technology and warfare.

Now all he could see were stars. 

They were beautiful. 

It didn't matter what was out there. What mattered was right here, right now. So long he'd been so worried about death that he'd forgotten to live. 

"Alright." Scarlett finally broke the silence. He peeked an eye open and turned to her. She was leaning against the rocks with her feet in the water and a smile on her face. "This was worth the walk."

"There's something very important you should know about me, Scarlett."

"And that is?"

"I'm _always_ right." He smirked and Scarlett rolled her eyes.

"How did you know this was here?" She slowly walked toward him through the water and sat down next to him in the sand. The sun dress was thoroughly soaked and swirled with the waves around her hips. Tony couldn't keep his eyes off of it. He was bewitched.

"It's mine."

"Oh?"

"I used to come here to clear my head. It's private… very few people know it's here. I didn't. It was an accident I found it so long ago." Tony chuckled. "I used to bring dates here to you know… seal the deal." He half expected Scarlett to be appalled but much to his surprise she wasn't. Taking in the beautiful hidden lagoon bathed in lamplight once again she nodded in understanding.

"I can see how that would work."

"Yeah." Tony nodded and watched the dress in the water again but then looked back to her. "Is it working?" He couldn't resist and his smile was infectious.

"You're _not_ single." Scarlett splashed right in his face and he spit the water back out of his mouth and shook his head like a dog. Wiping it away from his eye he kept one of them closed and didn't relent.

"It's for science. You know, statistics. On a scale from one to ten how horny are you right now?"

Scarlett laughed and shoved at his shoulder to push him back in the water and then looked back out at the ocean. Tony waited for an answer but got none. Scarlett had thought he was joking. Perhaps he had been, but now that he'd thought about it he'd wondered what the answer would be. That had been an entertaining tangent to linger on. Dangerous, but entertaining.

She thought about pulling away her dress. It wasn't like it was hiding anything now anyway but somehow it still seemed like a bad idea, considering their conversation. It was difficult to tell what part of the flirting was real and what part was in her head. Instead, Scarlett laid down next to Tony in the sand, her bottom half submerged in water. She stared up at the stars but they seemed oddly cold.

There was no future for her in them, even for someone who believed in that sort of thing. For once Scarlett wished she didn't see things so matter of fact. Yes, she saw beauty in the stars, but she also saw what was really there. The lights they saw were long since dead. Space was uninhabitable and infinitely terrifying. It was also equally interesting but it was difficult to find comfort in something she knew was so desolate and sad.

"Can I ask you a question?" Tony's voice was quiet and thoughtful. Scarlett hadn't realized he'd been watching her after she'd gotten comfortable next to him.

"It's not like I can stop you." Scarlett expected a quip in response, but it wasn't what she got. "That's been proven time and again."

"Why all the secrecy?" Tony wondered if she would answer. They'd shared such a nice night together and it hadn't been the first. "About your past and what you do… Why is it such a big deal? I know you're not bashful so there has to be a bigger reason."

Scarlett held her breath. She'd half been expecting another inappropriate flirtation and instead had gotten an actual serious question. This was what she should have been avoiding. This was why Natasha had told her to avoid Tony Stark. He couldn't get involved, but wasn't he already? Her thoughts raced, her stomach tied back into knots and all the worries that had plagued her so desperately all afternoon rushed through her once more. It was like someone was screaming at her from inside her mind and the loudest voice of them all was telling her that she didn't deserve to be there.

She should have just been doing her job quietly and waiting for S.H.I.E.L.D. to do the rest of the work. Scarlett had made her bed and now she should just lie in it and accept fate for what it was. Instead she'd let Tony Stark get close to her, she'd made him think that they could be friends. Hell, she'd _wanted_ to be friends.

Tony saw her simply staring and her face seemingly turned cold. She turned away when his gaze was noticed and Tony grunted in frustration and looked back to the sky. 

It wasn't fair.

She knew so much about him. He'd told her some of the things he had never even said out loud, or never knew he felt until they were pouring past his lips! She wouldn't even tell him where the hell she was born, or where she used to work!

"Why the hell can't you at least _try_ to trust me?" Tony sounded angrier than he'd intended and he swore Scarlett went white. Or maybe it was in his imagination, either way her whole demeanor had changed. Then again, so had his. He shared his innermost thoughts with her and had thought they'd had this deep connection, this natural friendship. Had he made it all up? Did he think there was something there when there really was nothing?

"It's not like that." Scarlett became defensive. "It's not about trust or anything like that." She shook her head but she could feel something burning in the back of her throat, making it difficult to breathe. She was wheezing and her head was spinning again. At some point she'd known that this conversation was going to happen but she hadn't expected it to happen so quickly. Scarlett wasn't ready for it.

_She wasn't ready_.

It had nothing to do with wanting to tell him, that hadn't been the conflict at all. That had taken her weeks to figure out. Scarlett wanted to tell him, tell someone everything. She wanted to tell someone who would respond as her friend, for the first time in her days, and not just someone who wanted to save her. Scarlett didn't want to be saved, Scarlett knew she couldn't be. This was hardly living anymore. "Though to be fair, I barely know you." Scarlett cracked a smile, hoping to ease the suddenly very nervous tension that had escalated between them. Tony was angry, she could _feel_ it.

"Look at this place, Scarlett. All I know about you is what people guess in the papers. I'm not going to tell anyone your secrets. Hell, I've defended you in the press every time I'm asked about you! So why can't you tell me? Just one stupid little thing because I've told you everything." Tony's voice was harsh, but also desperate. Scarlett nearly choked. Her tongue seemed to swell up in her mouth.

"I'm sorry." She managed in a whisper, but the words didn't feel real, nothing quite did. It felt like a dream, a dream that had gone terribly wrong. She should've known better. Natasha would probably tell her how she knew it would happen all along. How Scarlett wasn't going to have time for friends after all was said and done, how she should have stayed in Boston and just did what she was told. Now she was going to alienate the only person who treated her like a human being and not a project to be worked on or a test result on a medical chart.

"I don't want an apology! I just want to know what kind of trouble you're in." Tony sat up and looked down at her but she sat up at once too. He'd taken her off guard, that much he could tell, but she looked just as mad as he felt. "Please, I just… I need to know what it is that…" He twisted up his face while trying to form the words without sounding like he was a love sick puppy dog. "Why did you see that I was suffering when no one else did? You said you knew what it was like and I thought maybe back then you were talking about something a long time ago. But, I know that's not the case. Otherwise why the S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents? Why the secrecy? Why not just tell me?" Tony's voice quieted to an angry whisper. It was definitely not comforting. Every breath Scarlett took sent pain radiating through her chest. "You understood me when no one else could because I wouldn't let them. So how did you do it?"

"I didn't have to be going through something to see you were suffering, Tony." Scarlett thought she sounded very meager and terribly stupid but Tony thought she sounded cold and calculative. "It was written all over your face."

"Then why the hell didn't anyone else see it then? If I was so terrible at hiding the way I was feeling then why the hell didn't…"

"Maybe they didn't want to." Scarlett spoke a little louder, snapping more than she meant to. This was beginning to feel like an interrogation. She was like an animal, frightened, with nowhere to go. When cornered, she couldn't help herself. 

Was that true? Could Scarlett be right? Did Pepper not want to see he was suffering? Did she just hope it was going to go away without anyone asking? But then what about Happy? What about Rhodey? Yeah, Rhodey had made small attempts to do something about it but Scarlett, a perfect stranger, had leapt in head first to help him without knowing a damn thing about him. Then he'd told her just about everything that had scared the hell out of him. She knew his deepest, darkest fears now and what did he know? That she liked pizza? Yeah, that was useful information.

"Bullshit." He grimaced. "It's not fair that you know everything about me but I know nothing about you."

"Maybe you're better off not knowing. Did you ever consider that?" Scarlett couldn't reason with him as well as she wanted to. All the excuses sounded better in her head. If she could even find them amongst all the yelling, that is. There was a very small voice amongst all the panic. It told her it was okay. It told her Tony might understand. Even that voice continued on to ask if it was worth the danger she was going to put him in, if it was worth the trouble she would cause him. She'd set out to help Tony, not complicate things for him. God she was a mess. Talk about a mid-life crisis. This was a little extreme.

"That's not your decision to make." Tony spoke resolutely. Anger bubbled inside of him. "I want to know, I'm choosing to ask and you don't get to choose how other people feel. Is that really the kind of calculative woman you are? You think you get to choose how everyone else thinks and feels? No wonder Nathan's such a mess over you."

"Why won't you just let it go?" Scarlett needed out of this conversation, she needed out of the lagoon. She needed out of California. 

"Because… _god…_ " Tony hesitated and choked on his words. He couldn't think of a good reason to justify his anger. Every reason that popped into his head didn't sound right and honestly he wasn't sure any of them were true. Instead he smacked his hand in the water and turned his gaze away from her. Moistening his lips he wondered if he could form a sentence telling Scarlett he cared about her without coming onto her. Sure, it could have been as simple as saying that they were friends but it didn't _feel_ like friendship. Perhaps that's why it was so painful to feel like there was so little trust between them.

Scarlett quickly, and not so gracefully, stood and nearly slipped in the sand. He didn't watch her go. She could do whatever she wanted, she was going to anyway. For all he cared she could go back to her loft. Tony was quick to anger but realistically he didn't want that. Scarlett stumbled through the sand, finding it increasingly difficult to breathe. Her ears were ringing.

She was having a goddamn panic attack in the middle of the beach with Tony Stark five feet away from her. God if Natasha could see her now, if anyone at S.H.I.E.L.D. could see her now they'd be ordering her back to Boston. She thought about climbing over the rocks, she thought about getting as far as she could, but she didn't think she'd make it without falling over and collapsing into a big pile of emotions.

Maybe if she took deep breaths it wouldn't matter. She stepped into the water, as far as she could in the sand before it dropped off and the ocean became too deep. The water lapped around her stomach. If she could just close her eyes and focus on the sound of the water moving around her maybe she could breathe. For a second it worked but the more she listened the more she thought about Tony. Now even the ocean wasn't a damn comfort. It wasn't teaming with possibility and escape any longer, it was filled with condemnation and judgment.

"In and out." Scarlett mouthed to herself, coaching herself to breathe. What had she told Tony what felt like forever ago? Distraction? It was a hell of a lot easier when she was coaching someone else through it than it was when it was her own damn thoughts. She was trembling, trembling from head to toe. If she focused on staying still maybe it would stop.

God, she felt pathetic. When had she become so damaged? Had she been so broken by MedCo, by Scott, that she couldn't even answer a simple question anymore? Lying had been no big deal for so long so why did it seem so wrong, so terrible, now? Damnit.

Obscenities helped a little but not enough.

Tony stared into the water, at his feet as they dug in the sand. Maybe he should go. Scarlett wasn't going to trust him, she wasn't ever going to answer any of his questions or share with him anything that really mattered so why was he bothering? It had seemed like a practical fairy tale for a short time there. He should have known better.

He'd help her home and then they'd just work together. That would be it.

He got up and dusted himself off, his trunks dripping. Picking up his shirt he shook it out and glanced over at Scarlett. Maybe it didn't have to be an all or nothing situation. He was mad, but maybe it would pass. He shouldn't have pushed himself so damn hard. Maybe after he'd cleared his head he could ask again, start with something small. Yeah, that sounded more logical and more like himself.

He'd walk her home regardless. Tony looked back to her and she kept her back turned, even though she must have heard him moving. She was shivering.

"Are you cold?" The words sounded stupid even as they came out of his mouth. She shook her head and Tony knew at once what that shake meant. He turned away and ran his fingers through his hair. 

How could he be so oblivious? She was upset. Scarlett was _actually_ upset. He'd seen her irritated, at the theater in Boston, when he'd crashed through her window, but this was different. She was shaking with _fear_.

She was afraid. Was she afraid of the truth?

Tony didn't need to ask if he was right, he knew because he'd been in her shoes before. That must have been what he'd looked like to her on the stairs that first fateful day. 

It wasn't that she _didn't_ want to talk about whatever had happened. Not at all. 

It was that she _couldn't._

He wasn't sure she knew it yet, but he saw it plain as day. Relief, in a way, flooded through Tony. Things were far less complicated this way, at least for him. Maybe he didn't only need her to be there for him but maybe she needed him to be there for her too. He wouldn't say that out loud on the off chance he was way off base. But he had a very distinct feeling he was right.

As quickly as his anger had come it had gone too. Faded away with the ebb of the waves. He walked through the water to where she stood. In her head she was desperately repeating over and over, pleading for him to go back to the sand, to leave her alone, and let her recover for just a few minutes.

She couldn’t fight with him, not right now. She wanted to, but not like this. Closing her eyes she hoped beyond hope that he would leave her be. Instead he stood behind her, right behind her. She could feel him hovering close to her, the water lapping between them. For a second she thought he might say something cold, might tell her it's time to go or to find her own way back.

Much to her surprise she felt his arms wrap around her middle. He pulled her back against his chest and took slow, deep breaths. 

"It's okay." He spoke quietly, holding her close. There wasn't anything romantic about it, no motives hidden beneath his touch. Yeah, of course he thought about what she was wearing and the fact that she was all wet, but he also thought about how she seemed terrified. If it had been the other way around this is what he would have hoped for. His words weren't condescending, they weren't giving her permission to do or be anything. He wasn't forgiving her, he was reassuring her. Gently he let his chin rest down on her shoulder and closed his eyes. "I'm sorry."

At first Scarlett felt like she was going to explode. What the _hell_ was he doing? Was he hugging her? Her lip curled almost in a snarl but as he spoke the anger faded.

"I'm an idiot. You don't have to say anything, okay? I'm… an idiot." Tony was pretty sure those were words he'd never actually uttered before. For a second Scarlett actually laughed. Just like that she could breathe. It wasn't magic, it was just that she could feel his heart beating and feel his chest rising and falling. Finally she managed to mimic those movements and that vice grip on her brain stopped. The screaming was still there, the racing, panicked thoughts, but they were fading. It didn't feel like she was going to vomit if she spoke. "We should go before we're too tired to climb these things again. I really should come up with a better way to get in and out of here." Tony made to pull away but Scarlett stopped him.

She turned in his arms. Her eyes were bluer and clearer than he'd ever seen. Half the time they were dark and stormy but now they were different. Had she been on the verge of tears? Tony wasn't sure that was possible. For awhile he'd thought her carved of stone. Then she placed her hand on his cheek and he felt his own heart stop. Every doubt that had flooded through him, every fear, every angry word faded completely. 

Never before had he felt so determined in such an instant. 

" _I'm_ sorry." She had never meant those words more than she did now. "I am so sorry." She wanted to say she never meant for him to get mixed up in any of this. She meant to tell him that there was too much going on and it would come to light later. 

She meant to tell him that she was scared. Maybe if she said it out loud, it wouldn’t feel quite as awful as it did in her head. Tony would understand. He had been right. She'd understood what he was going through because she was struggling just as much. She wore it better than he did in public, but it was still there hanging on her.

She wanted to tell him they should run away to Paris. The weeks that were left on the clock could be wonderful. Instead she just stared at him, hand still shaking like a leaf against his cheek.

"Don't be." He shook his head and pulled his arms away from her waist but only for a second. He pulled her shoulders close to him and allowed her to bury her face right against his chest. She closed her eyes and let him hold her. Never had she done such a thing before, not since she was a small, foolish child. "You can tell me when you're ready."

Scarlett froze. He'd been right to be upset. She'd known it and he was taking it all back? That anger was gone, that upset was just _gone_. How could he be so forgiving? 

"If you're ever ready." He whispered in her ear before resting his head on top of hers. He closed his eyes and simply held her. Scarlett could feel the reactor so close to her, feel his heart still beating beneath it. 

For the first time in a very long time, Scarlett felt comforted. 

That scared the hell out of her. 

When did shit start getting so _real_ with Tony Stark?

She lifted her head away from his chest with every intention of thanking him for being so understanding. He looked sad, but it was different than what she'd expected. There wasn't any disappointment, anger, frustration, all things that Scott had been when Scarlett didn't want to discuss something. That wasn't it. Tony felt sad for _her._ It wasn't pity like the people at S.H.I.E.L.D. It was sorrow because she was suffering and she had to do it alone because she wasn't ready to share. 

Tony watched realization dawn over her as he held her there in the water. Everything about it felt right, everything except for the fact that he was still dating Pepper. Scarlett mouthed a thank you and moistened her lips nervously. Tony focused on them for just a second and it killed him. She needed comfort. 

Scarlett needed _something._

Why couldn't it be him? He didn't care what trouble she was in, he wanted to be in trouble with her. He brushed her curly hair away from her face. It was unruly after having gotten wet, more so than usual. It was better that way. She placed her hand over his reactor, obscuring its bright blue light and casting shadows across her face.

Amongst the smell of the ocean he could still smell her perfume. It comforted him, the combination was intoxicating. She wanted to say something, anything, but no words would come. This moment was precious, worth the agony of the day.

He let his forehead touch just against hers, pulled one hand from around her shoulder and let it rest against her cheek where his thumb brushed just next to her lips. She closed her eyes. The technicalities didn't matter anymore. His breathing was still comforting. That same guilt that had pained her each time they'd gotten close, that nagging voice telling her no was finally absent. It was too lost in the sea of everything else going on in her head.

Tony opened his eyes just enough, his lips parted and he let out a deep breath. There were only inches between them, barely. The idea of sealing the deal was both inviting and forbidden, an enticing combination. How easy it would be now, without that guilt aching inside of him. Two inches could change his life. 

She wanted that, he knew she did. There was no doubt in his mind that she wanted it. But there was something else, something nagging. 

Scarlett was shaking.

Like a leaf.

Tony cursed himself mentally in every language he knew and swallowed the lump that had steadily grown in his throat. Carefully he pulled his hand from her cheek and rested it on her shoulder. A different kind of guilt had hit him. Not because of Pepper, not because of some relationship, but because Scarlett was scared.

Whatever she was going through, she had made it clear she wasn't going to do anything with him while he was still with Pepper. Tony couldn't add that weight onto her shoulders. Not when she was already carrying something so heavy she didn't know how to share the burden. 

It took every ounce of willpower to pull away but he managed to even take a deep breath. Then he had to hold it. It was more complicated than just pulling away and deciding he wasn't going to do it. Scarlett just _did_ something to him. If she'd noticed she hadn't said anything and for that he was grateful.

"Let's get out of the water and grab a cup of coffee somewhere. It's late anyway. The darker it gets the harder it will be to get out of here." Tony smiled, relaxing his grip on her at last. Yet he just stood there, holding her, unfinished.

"Good idea." Scarlett nodded. He wasn't doing it so she was the one to make a move. "We should put out these lanterns." She gestured toward the lights he'd only an hour ago lit. Tony agreed and did as he was told. Scarlett watched him, back to his old self at once.

Had any of that been real? He'd almost kissed her and she had almost let him.

What bothered her more than that was that she hadn't wanted him to stop.

Tony Stark was scaring the hell out of Scarlett Damien.


	28. Threats

"There's only one consistent factor in each of the readings from the past few months." Jinx was one of the few employees in the S.H.I.E.L.D. building at such an ungodly early hour in the morning. It was about three in the morning on Friday and the only others working that early were Natasha Romanoff, Nick Fury, and a handful of other employees who manned the stations while others slept. There were bunks in rooms on the floors above for those who had no time to waste heading home. S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents were very dedicated to their jobs and to the people they protected. For most, it consumed every moment of their lives.

It would be a misconception to say that Jinx had been in to work very early before heading to Refuge for the morning. It would be truer to say that she had instead stayed very late the night before. After Scarlett had traveled to Malibu the week before Jinx had been oddly busy for someone whose "boss" was absent. Scarlett had been correct in assuming that Natasha was not going to be happy that she had taken the contract with Stark Industries and had traveled away. While she hadn't exactly said it to Scarlett, Natasha had instead taken her frustration out on her coworkers. Jinx, someone who had worked doing paperwork for a _very_ long time was considering the amount of paperwork she had to do over the past few days a little much. 

"And what would that be?" Natasha was making a record of the readings that Jinx had been taking over the past few weeks for Scarlett. They hadn't been part of S.H.I.E.L.D. files and that was because Jinx had just assumed it was more of a casual thing. It wasn't like Director Fury had asked her to read Scarlett when she got the chance. Jinx did it because she liked to do it.

"That a building is probably going to fall on her head at some point and crush her. Not metaphorically either." Jinx shrugged nonchalantly. An agent a few desks away stopped to give her a puzzled look but Jinx merely smiled and waved. "That's what the cards say every time. Scarlett thinks it's a joke but it's pretty clear."

"How am I supposed to keep that from happening? Make her live in a tent?" Natasha pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration. There had been very little sleep for her the last few nights.

"Boss lady won't do that. She likes her bed too much. Said something about spending enough nights in the dirt." Jinx smiled. She had actually suggested that to Scarlett who had thought she was joking. Jinx had been pretty serious about the suggestion and then Scarlett had made that comment about the dirt. Jinx had been disappointed but then again, it was unreasonable to hide from what she saw in the cards. One way or another, fate caught up with everyone. Usually what resulted of Jinx's readings could be left open for interpretation. Some of it reflected off of the mood of the person being read or doing the reading. Unfortunately when a prediction came up that _frequently_ it usually meant something. Scarlett had never taken any stock in Jinx's readings. But, she _was_ in Malibu with Tony Stark these days so Jinx could at least say one thing came of it.

"When was her last reading? Before she left? You're pretty consistent." Natasha was circling something in her notes and flipping through the paperwork in her lap. Even she was bored of this. She had to stop moping over things beyond her control. Natasha didn't _like_ not being in control though. It was her way or no way at all. Scarlett had gone above and beyond to make it known that she wasn't going to let Natasha steer for her. Why wouldn't she let Natasha help her?

"Like two or three weeks ago." Jinx corrected. At this point Natasha put down her notepad and then placed it on the desk in front of her. 

"Why so long ago?"

"Well…" Jinx made a face and Natasha countered with one of her own. The Black Widow wasn't going to let it go just because it made her uncomfortable.

"Did Scarlett ask you to stop?"

"No." Jinx shook her head. "I got a bad feeling." Her entire demeanor changed as she averted her eyes. Natasha swore she felt the hair on her arms stand alert. She wasn't one for superstition but she'd seen enough unbelievable things to discount Jinx's gift. 

"And you didn't say anything about it?"

"I told you guys in the car that day."

"You didn't say it was about your readings."

"Well, it wasn't _just_ about those. It was a very vague bad feeling about Scarlett." Jinx was squirming in her seat. She didn't want to say what was on her mind. Natasha was already searching for reasons to lock Scarlett away somewhere safe and Jinx did _not_ want to be the reason that happened. "Boss lady would kill me if I said anything."

"All the more reason to tell me."

"What? You _want_ her to kill me? Or you think I should tell you because she wouldn't want me to? This could go either way, Widow." Jinx procrastinated and Natasha audibly groaned in annoyance. "Okay, okay… but it's personal. I mean, you're just going to worry."

"I'm already worried." Natasha offered a rare, kind smile. 

"No one is more than her, you know." Jinx tried to return the smile but knew it wouldn't quell Natasha's fears any. "You may not think so, but it's all she thinks about. I can tell."

"She came to me for help. It's my job. I promised to protect her."

"Maybe she came to you as a friend not as a job."

"That's not how we operate." Natasha cleared her throat. "You're avoiding the question. Bring it back around, Jinx." 

"Fine! Fine." Jinx took a deep breath, placed her palms flat on her knees and then straightened her back. "I had a bad feeling that night we got attacked so I stopped asking to do the reading. Sometimes my bad feelings can reflect in the cards and it just makes the feeling worse. Then I can't tell if it's a feeling or if I'm jinxing myself. Hold jokes for the end, okay?"

"You've spent too much time with Scarlett, continue."

"That's a shame. I was hoping for some good puns. But anyway, I… Scarlett asked me to read her fortune one day when she was not doing particularly well." Jinx was apprehensive but Natasha nodded in understanding.

"Does this have anything to do with Stark?"

"No, I mean I told her she should do it but…"

"You _told_ her to go to Malibu?"

"Of course I did. Have you seen him? And her? And them together?" Jinx made a smooshing motion with her hands. "She needed something happy with so much awful surrounding her. I'm sure she wouldn't admit it but that back and forth thing they do makes her happy."

"I can't believe you disobeyed direct orders. We can deal with that later." Natasha sighed heavily. "What did she want if not to know about Stark?"

"She wanted to know if she'd be… _okay_."

"She never seems that worried." Natasha felt a pang of sadness in her chest but didn't show it. All the more reason to be concerned.

"I think she just doesn't let it consume her, that's all. I mean, it's hard because things are so different for her now but… It doesn't mean she's being careless. Plus, she's kinda like you sometimes. You feel things very deeply, I think, you just don't say it. Some people drown you in paperwork when they're upset… others make jokes."

"You're defending her. She's not under attack."

"I'm being proactive." Jinx chuckled nervously. "I kinda wish I had gone to California with her. It's weird at Refuge without her. I'm not really doing my job anymore. It's mostly Origami now. Scarlett is going to be surprised when she gets back to her office. It's like Noah's Ark in there. She's still in and out every few days but the trips get longer and longer. She likes it there, I think."

"Well, personally, I hate that she's there." Natasha put the paperwork down and leaned forward in her chair. 

"I can tell." Jinx laughed and much to her surprise, Natasha didn't seem too surprised by that. Maybe she hadn't been trying to hide it very hard or maybe she was comfortable enough discussing it with Jinx. "All the paperwork was a dead giveaway."

"I sorta had a feeling _you_ had something to do with her going." Natasha, again to Jinx's surprise, didn't look very upset. "I'm thinking of going out there to keep a closer eye on her. You can be on this end when she's here and I'll be out there while she's in Malibu. Someone should be with her, not just S.H.I.E.L.D. agents we have in the field. Someone familiar with the case. As things progress she's going to need help anyway." Natasha had given up parts of her life before, she'd done it without fear, without question. When she'd given up her past to be part of S.H.I.E.L.D. she knew what the risks were and had been willing to take them. Others had always admired how she could push through those emotions, like another enemy to conquer. But it wasn't as easy as she made it seem. She wore her emotions deep inside and allowed very few to see them. Part of her knew that her façade would someday crumble, she just had no idea how soon it would happen. 

When Scarlett had gone to Malibu it hadn't just affected Scarlett. She was sure the woman knew that but Natasha sometimes wondered if she should say something about it. Their bond was often unspoken and while they'd been _forced_ to address some issues in the months past, there was still much to say. Natasha had never been very good at voicing her emotions. Lying about them, sure, but actually confessing them? That was a different thing altogether.

"She won't want to hear that."

"Well, you can't always get what you want. Particularly when she's in this position." Natasha tapped her fingers on the desk but didn't get to continue her thought.

The doors burst open and a man in a dark hood stumbled through them, followed by half a dozen S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents trying to stop him from going further. Several had their guns drawn and were yelling.

"Let me go! It's me, you idiots! Nat? Nat, are you in here? Nat? Where are you?" Clint threw off the hood and the S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents stopped behind him at once. He was wearing a few prosthetics on his face to hide his identity but they were sloppily applied and he looked worried and exhausted. His beard was scraggly and unkempt. 

"What is it? What's wrong?" Natasha stood at once. "Everyone stand down! Clint, what the hell are you doing here? You're supposed to be undercover! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is for you to show up here? Why didn't you call? We could have set up a meeting!"

"There's going to be an attack." Clint held his hand out to silence her objections. "I had to move quickly. I just heard about it during the nightshift and I made some stupid excuse to leave… They made me toss my burner, alright? No contact unless it can be monitored at this point." He pulled at one of the prosthetics on his face and wiggled his nose uncomfortably to try and remove the glue. "Manhattan. Broadway… they're taking action. MedCo is done hiding in the shadows. The dominos are about to fall, Nat."

"The actor." Jinx whispered under her breath and Natasha exchanged glances with her then looked back to Clint.

"How much time do we have?"

"Not sure. Just know they plan on going off with a bang and it's going to be soon." Clint leaned back and pushed his hair out of his face. It was getting longer and shaggier with his time undercover. He'd lost weight, gained muscle. The longer he stayed undercover the less healthy he looked, the more he seemed like a thug.

"We have to get in touch with the theater. Do you know where he's performing these days?" Jinx was pale and worried. "We have to tell Scarlett, she needs to know."

"Of course I know where he is. We keep tabs on all her contacts, even those not related to S.H.I.E.L.D. But we shouldn't tell him. This is an opportunity. "

"I know. I was thinking the same thing." Clint nodded to agree with Natasha but looked worriedly over his shoulder. "They're taking action. Teams were deployed to god knows where in the night. I think I'm close but… you've got to move quickly. If you… show up… if you stop the show? They're going to just do it somewhere else or hurt innocent bystanders."

"We've got to set a trap."

"So we're just going to let them attack the theater? Isn't that dangerous? Like ridiculously dangerous?" Jinx immediately objected. "Fury is never going to approve this."

"There will be S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents everywhere. If we can catch even one of them there? Maybe it will be one less thing to worry about. Maybe we'll be able to let Scarlett have some privacy, finally." Natasha reasoned but Jinx felt her stomach turn. She had a bad feeling. This wasn't going to end well. 

"I heard some of them talking. There's this horrible… web they've woven and it's been in motion for months. Sounds to me like ever since the deal fell through with Scott they've been taking measures to make sure their assets are well accounted for."

"Assets? Clint, are you kidding me? They refer to her as a damn asset?"

"I'm not." Clint scowled. "She was part of a deal, Nat. Scott promised her to them. That's why he poisoned her. It was a last ditch panic attempt to get her to cooperate with whatever the hell he was working on in private. He's their puppet, they own him now that he didn't deliver."

"God damnit, Clint." Natasha turned and pushed the paperwork she'd held earlier onto the floor in anger.

"It gets worse." Clint cleared his throat and Natasha hesitantly turned back to face him. The group crowded around them grew in number.

"How could it possibly get worse?"

"It feels like they're running out of time." Clint wasn't sure why, but his bosses were frantic. MedCo was on the move. There was a time stamp on what they needed to do and he had a feeling it had very much to do with Scarlett's timeline. Reaching inside his oversized, dirty jacket Clint handed Natasha a worn file and looked to her seriously. She grabbed it but he didn't let go. "This is all I've got, okay? Do some good with it." He let it go at last and Natasha nodded before opening the file. He buttoned his jacket, pulled up his hood and reapplied the prosthetic nose on his face to the best of his ability.

"Where are you going?" Natasha snapped her head up from her folder. "We need your help on this."

"I've got to go back." Clint looked at his watch and then back at the S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents who all objected at once. He held his hand up to silence them. "I got away with it. No one followed me. It took me hours to get here I was so careful. I shouldn't have come here but I think I'm in the clear. Trust me if I didn't think so I wouldn't go back."

"Clint…"

"Nat, don't argue with me about this. I'm doing it with or without S.H.I.E.L.D. approval." Clint stood his ground and after a moment of quiet contemplation Natasha simply nodded and turned back to the file she'd been given. "I need Agent Pierce and Director Fury, immediately." When the crowd of agents around her didn't jump into action Natasha continued. "Now!" There was a fury of agents as they rushed around the command center. Lights overhead switched to life and computer screens lit up.

Jinx watched as the team moved but turned her attention to Clint as he readied himself to return to the shadows. Her stomach reeled and she glanced back from Natasha to Clint before she went ahead and jumped from her seat. No one was looking for her right now in the sudden chaos in the command center anyway. 

"Mr. Barton?" Jinx ran in front of him and nearly tripped as she slid toward the doors that kept Clint from the outside world.

"What is it? Jinx, right?"

"Yeah, wow, okay surprised you remembered but… please don't go." Jinx held her hands in front of her cautiously and offered a weak smile.

"It's sweet that you're worried but I've got to go."

"I know we don't really know each other very well but I… I have a bad feeling."

"Trust me, I do too."

"No, when… you see there's a reason they call me Jinx, it's not just because I'm a klutz, okay? It's… I get these feelings and when I do they're… you can't ignore them. Please, _please_ I implore you… please don't go."

"I'm so close, Jinx." Clint gently took her hands and urged her away from the door. "They're worried because they know something about this illness, okay? If I can get what they know then I'll bail immediately, don't worry. I'm good at this." Clint nodded his head.

"It doesn't matter how good you are if they know you're working for us." Jinx couldn't shake the feeling as she watched Clint. She knew she couldn't convince him, he was as stubborn as the rest of the spies she worked with. Damn them, what was the point of employing her if no one listened when she had a feeling? 

"I can't give up. It's not in my nature. Keep an eye on them, they need you more than I do." Clint firmly grasped Jinx's shoulder and though they were practically strangers it was oddly comforting. "One more week could make all the difference, Jinx. There's this doctor there, a real madman, but I've been his detail on and off. He's working through this science crap faster than anyone has so far. There's a chance I could do some good here."

"But… I have a bad feeling."

"I know." Clint nodded and looked away for a second. "I do too. But it's never stopped me before." Jinx nodded to let him know she understood but she didn't like it. Why wasn't Natasha making him come in? It was the right thing to do. These spies, always insisting they had their emotions in the clear, it sure didn't seem that way when it came to one of their own. Without another word he turned and disappeared into the darkness of the early morning.

Jinx turned back to the command center and watched as the bustle of agents rushed around at Natasha's command. Mickey Pierce was the first to show up and only moments later was followed by Nick Fury. They worked through the early morning hours to formulate a plan to catch MedCo off their game. With any luck they would be able to stop any plot with minimal casualties. S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents would blend in with the crowd, obtain tickets to the performance that night. If an evacuation became necessary they could do it in a few moments time.

Chances were people would be put in danger, but the risk was worth catching Scott or anyone who worked for MedCo. It took some convincing from Jinx and Mickey but finally Natasha pulled away from the chaos to call Scarlett.

At first she had argued that they wouldn't want her there. Yes, Scarlett should be made aware but it could be after the fact. Jinx had argued that MedCo has to know she's in Malibu by now and are doing this so that it is out of her control. Having Scarlett there could bait them into making mistakes. Natasha argued that it would also put her in harm's way. Ultimately, they had agreed to include her in the plan. As much as Natasha didn't want her involved, it made more sense to bring her in.

Scarlett, however, wasn't near her phone. At least not yet. She hadn't slept that night but not because of any nightmares or fears. No, Scarlett had never _gone home_. Working with Tony Stark had been awkward for all of fifteen minutes before it had become incredibly fun. It had also been dangerous, but not in the way Scarlett had expected.

When they put their heads together they could talk and speculate for _hours_. Coffee had become their best friend and for awhile they'd spent days and days in the laboratory working on a prototype for a converter for the Arc Reactor. The laboratory was brand new and state of the art and. as Tony had been hoping upon her first arrival, Scarlett had been impressed. She was like a kid in a candy store with all the new technology at her fingertips. Yes, Refuge was state of the art but Scarlett had always worked her best in bad situations so her personal laboratory had always been the bare bones minimum. 

The things they could create with this technology, without limitations! Ideas came pouring in and just as excited about these ideas was Tony Stark. Inspiration seemed endless between the two. And when finally Scarlett had accepted his invitation to come back to his mansion and take a look at his Iron Man suits the excitement had only intensified.

Scarlett had feared that going to his home would only increase the sexual tension between the two, and it had, but it had been worth it in the long run. She, unfortunately, ran into Pepper almost every day but the bickering had at least calmed down a little bit. Tony's girlfriend had even once or twice attempted conversation without insulting her. It had been a pleasant surprise, if not an awkward one. Scarlett had no time for grudges so petty as what would be held against Pepper and she thought the redhead was grateful for that but then again it was hard to tell. Little did she know that Pepper was basically arguing with Tony every second they were apart.

That particular morning, Scarlett was still awake with Tony and there was music blaring throughout the basement. Her phone was discarded on the couch in the corner, buzzing away as Natasha made attempt after attempt to get in contact with her. Scarlett paid it no mind and instead pulled a pair of protective goggles over her eyes and pointed at Tony.

"Are you ready?"

"To test this thing that we've been working on for eighteen hours? Yes, yes I am." Tony smirked and shook out his arms.

"Now, if the sensors work the way we programmed them then it should trigger the propulsion system and the suit should come to you." Scarlett walked around the desk and to the far end of the test platform.

"If that's so then why are you walking so far away from me?" Tony chuckled teasingly. They'd integrated the technology Scarlett had developed for the prosthetic limbs into the suits nearly immediately but the problems had only begun there. While the suit now came when called the prosthesis was screwing with the propulsion system. There had even been a point where Jarvis had completely lost contact with the suit.

The suit would come to Tony soon after, but the propulsion system would land it off course or propel it with such force that he'd nearly broken a limb on their first test. If nothing else, this had been a great test for Tony's reflexes. Their first mistake had been excitedly testing the whole damn suit. Tony had been buried and while the suit had made its way onto him it had also knocked him unconscious. Scarlett had Dum-E, one of Tony's older machines, help her free him from it and resuscitate him.

"I'm pretty sure on one of these parts somewhere there's a safe recommended distance and it's this far away." Scarlett shrugged and Tony practically snorted.

"Next time we're testing it on you."

"Except that you're the one we attached the sensors to…"

"Well fine, but you're going to kiss my wounds if this hurts."

"Probably not. But a risk I'm willing to take." Scarlett nodded and pulled the schematics in the air toward her. "Jarvis, can you do a quick scan of the glove to make sure we've got it all set the way we wanted. Propulsion is on low, right?"

"Yes, Miss Damien." Jarvis did as he was told and schematics floated in the air next to her. Tony thought it was odd to watch someone else manipulating Jarvis so intimately but it was also exciting to share his ideas with someone who could appreciate them. There had been three days straight where they'd done nothing but toy with antigravity. For a brief second he'd been nervous to show her the developments hiding in his laboratory but once he'd seen her eyes light up with excitement the nerves had been destroyed. In fact, that familiar arrogance and confidence consumed him once again. Of course his technology was fascinating, he was Tony Stark for crying out loud! Why had he ever doubted himself?

"Are you ready?" Scarlett looked back to Tony who was shaking his limbs out again.

"I just keep thinking about how if this thing hits me in the junk it's going to be the worst moment of my life." Tony took a deep breath and wanted to make a joke about how he would still want her to kiss his wounds but refrained. "Okay, I'm ready." Scarlett opened her mouth to speak but Tony did so instead. "No, no, wait!" He hurried off of the pad and then over to the couch where he grabbed one of the pillows. Then he ran back into place, held the pillow with his right hand over his crotch and then held out his left arm with a shake. "Now I'm ready."

"Are you sure? Your butt is in the danger zone too."

"Don't even _joke_ about that, it's my money maker!" 

"I thought that was your face."

"Scarlett, all of this is valuable real estate." Tony looked to her very seriously.

"Alright Jennifer Lopez, calm down. Jarvis, sensors." Scarlett laughed under her breath and then watched as light filled the testing area, creating a grid of brilliant blue lasers. "Put your goggles on, Tony."

"But they make my face sweaty."

"Fine, lose an eye, see if I care." 

"Alright, fine." Tony laughed and pulled his goggles on and then exhaled deeply. "Okay, test number forty three. Recently rewired the sensors inside of the glove to react to those Scarlett inserted so that it wouldn't interfere with the propulsion system. Testing to see if that fixes the error."

"Don't forget we recalibrated the timing mechanisms."

"Yeah, if the damn glove doesn't unfold I'm basically just getting punched by my own suit." Tony grumbled in remembrance. His shin was still bruised from the last test.

"Glad it's you and not me. Whenever you're ready, Tony." Scarlett watched the meters in the air nearby and Tony, after sticking his tongue out at Scarlett, readied himself and then triggered the suit.

The glove unfolded as it rose into the air, then there was an ear splitting click before it rocketed toward Tony.

"Holy shi-" Tony cursed and ducked out of the way as the glove soared through the air and went flying behind him, smashing into the concrete wall with such force that it cracked before bouncing away from the concrete and rocketing into a nearby table of supplies that clattered to the floor. "Abort, abort!" Tony shouted, running from the designated testing area and ducking behind his desk. 

Scarlett had ducked low and watched as the glove crashed across the room. The propulsion system stopped but steam rose from the glove that now lay at the far end of the room, sparking. The music in the room paused and all remain silent except for the hiss of the Iron Man suit that had malfunctioned.

"Was that where we were testing for…" Scarlett stole a glance at Tony peeking over his desk. Before she could get confirmation the supplies that were now strewn across the floor burst into small brilliant green flames.

Scarlett hurried over to the supplies, grabbed a fire extinguisher they had at the ready after several other tests gone wrong, and sprayed the fire until it went out. Tony had leapt over his desk once he was sure the glove wasn't coming back for him. 

"Is it out?"

Scarlett watched the smoldering pile of test tubes and gears, saw another flicker of flame and sprayed the fire extinguisher again. Once sure it wasn't coming back she turned toward Tony with wide eyes and nodded her head.

"You alright?"

"Yeah, I don't think a pillow would have been enough to protect my junk though." Tony nodded, the color coming back to his face. Scarlett couldn't help it, finally she laughed. The whole damn thing was just so comical! As if on cue the glove at the far end sputtered and spun on the floor before compressing back into the tiny bit of machinery it had once been. Tony joined in on the laughter. Never had he had so much fun failing before.

"Pretty sure that was a failure." Scarlett walked over to the glove, picked it up and brought it back over to the desk. 

"Dum-E, you know where the broom is right?" Tony patted the robot who chirped and extended his mechanical clamp as if to admit he did. "Well, that's quite the mess buddy." Tony tossed the pillow at Scarlett who swatted it away and back at him. "I think you did that on purpose."

"I did, you're on to me." Scarlett unfolded the glove and then grimaced. "Burned out all the wires again, Tony. What the hell is with this thing? We were supposed to fix it not make it worse."

"They shorted?" Tony furrowed his brow and leaned against the desk next to her. He snatched the glove away from Scarlett who leaned on her elbows. "Huh, maybe because we think the problem might be bigger than it is. Look… your sensors are fine, they're not shorting this thing out. Jarvis are we still getting signals from these things?"

"Loud and clear, sir."

"Let me fiddle with this for a bit."

"While you fiddle with your toy there I'll go grab us some coffee." Scarlett shook out her hair and stole a glance at the time on Tony's phone that lay nearby. She hadn't realized the night had so gotten away from them. 

"Miss Damien, I hate to be a pest, but your phone has been ringing off the hook." Jarvis interrupted her thoughts.

"Hmm?" Scarlett patted herself down and then looked around on the desk. "Where is it?"

"On the couch, madam."

"Damn, it must have fallen out of my pocket." Scarlett had made a point to fiddle with her phone after having been introduced to Jarvis. There was no way she was going to let him get a read on where her calls were coming from or what they were about. It had taken some work but she'd managed to keep her signal blocked, at least thus far. Jarvis had asked about it and Scarlett had said that it was a prototype. She liked Jarvis, he was innovative and even sweet in a way. 

Like his creator, Jarvis was very curious. It was trouble.

Once again the phone buzzed in her hand as she lifted it.

"Damien." Scarlett answered at once but the amusement in her voice was gone. She knew who it would be. There was only one person who would call her so many times in a row.

"Finally! Where the hell have you been, Scarlett? Do you know how long I've been trying to reach you?"

"I'm working. Time got away from me." Scarlett nodded to Tony who seemed to ask if everything was alright with just a glance. He turned away and continued to pull at the glove, asking Jarvis to bring up schematics of what they'd done and where they had started. He could do digital tests to try and figure out what was causing the short in the propulsion system, hopefully to prevent any further bodily harm. 

"You need to get home."

"We've been through this. I'm here in Malibu for the week, I'll be back on Monday for Refuge meetings…" Scarlett was tired of being told what to do. Her patience for S.H.I.E.L.D. and for Natasha was wearing thin very quickly.

"It's not about that."

"Then what's so important it can't wait?"

"It's Nathan." Natasha spat, irritated that every time they spoke it quickly became an argument. Scarlett at once stopped her bickering and swallowed the lump in her throat.

"What is it? Should I come in?" Scarlett stepped further away from Tony and looked in the fridge at the far end of the room. She would pretend to make coffee, she would focus on keeping her heart rate normal and her breathing regular. Jarvis could read all those things. He'd already noticed too many things about Scarlett as it was. She knew it was only a matter of time before she would have to refuse to work in his basement. Jarvis would know she was sick eventually.

"Yes, we need you safe!" Natasha was relieved. "There's been a threat against Nathan and the theater in Manhattan. Intelligence suspects it'll take place during the second act of his show. They want the place as full as possible to make a real statement."

"I want to help."

"You can stay in command and we can use you from…"

"No, you're letting me help. You know why." Scarlett couldn't argue in Tony's basement. Every word was likely being scrutinized. "This is my company and I'm going to be the one to fight for it. You can't do everything for me."

"Fine." Natasha knew that in the long run, even Nick Fury wanted her out there to help. She was a distraction. It was dangerous to keep her in harm's way but earlier they had decided that she could be what kept the people at the theater alive. If they had the chance to take Scarlett in they were sure as hell not going to risk killing her in some kind of explosion. It had been made perfectly clear that MedCo wanted Scarlett _alive_. "We're prepping a jet for you now. It'll leave within the hour. You've got to move quick. You can help get Nathan out of harm's' way. He trusts you."

"Bad decision, right?" Scarlett sighed. "I'll be there." Before Natasha could say more she hung up her phone and closed the fridge. "Tony?"

"Everything alright, Miss Damien?" Jarvis spoke. "Your body seems to be under quite a bit of stress."

"Work makes my blood pressure spike." Scarlett joked and started back toward the desk. Tony made a motion to show Scarlett what he was doing but they were both stopped when the door to the basement opened and in came Pepper Potts.

The redhead feigned a smile but wasn't fooling anyone. She wasn't happy to see Scarlett still in the house at such an early hour.

"Getting a head start today, I see." Pepper cleared her throat and walked toward the duo at the desk. Every so often Pepper had come downstairs simply to make her presence known. She had hoped to remind Scarlett just where she was and who she had no choice but to respect. Mostly it had been an interruption but Scarlett had seen what she was doing regardless. It wasn't so much the way she spoke to Scarlett herself but rather the way that she spoke to Tony that bothered her. The two of them did their best not to argue in front of Scarlett but she could hear the bitterness, the unsaid, in their words. It irritated Scarlett to the point where she knew she would eventually have to say something. Tony was doing well and from what she'd seen of him in the past when he _hadn't_ been well it was no thanks to Pepper. 

There had even been times where Tony had completely zoned out after talking to Pepper and Scarlett had to bring him back around with a stupid story or a fun idea. Still, it wasn't Scarlett's place to interfere in their relationship. She just wasn't sure how long she could hold her tongue if it continued. Relationship advice was definitely not something Scarlett should be doling out, not after her history with romance. 

Pepper had secretly been hoping, in the beginning, that she would walk downstairs and catch the two in the act. It wasn't that she _wanted_ Tony to cheat on her, no. That would have been devastating. But part of Pepper wanted it to happen just so she'd have an excuse to get Scarlett out of her house and out of her life. It was hard to explain why she was so angry when things had gone so swimmingly.

Never had she caught them being inappropriate. Yes, she'd heard them joking, laughing, having a good time, but never doing anything that would seem like cheating. Pepper still somehow thought this was worse. Scarlett had formed a real bond with Tony. On top of that she'd been nothing but _nice_ which seemed only to irritate Pepper further.

"Actually we lost track of time."

"Wait… so you've been working all night?" Pepper looked disapproving. There, Scarlett was a bad influence right? Tony had trouble sleeping, he should be resting, not burning the candle at both ends. Wasn't that something? Then again, Tony looked happy. He didn't even seem irritated that Pepper had interrupted them.

"Yeah, we got really caught up trying to fix this propulsion error and… well before we knew it." Scarlett held up her phone and allowed the screen to display the time. "I have to cut out early thought. Or really… really late depending on how you're looking at this."

"Aw, come on… I'm finally making some headway on this thing." Tony laughed, showing them both the inside of the glove. "Look at all these scorch marks! That would have been my _hand._ "

"Oh my god! Tony! That's dangerous!" Pepper immediately felt alarm race through her. "What the hell are you two doing down here?"

"Don't worry, we're being careful. I'm not going to let him lose a hand." Scarlett patted Tony hard on the back and he nearly dropped the glove in surprise. "Shit hit the fan at Refuge. One of my projects kind of… wrecked half the lab. I've got to go schedule repairs and take a look at it myself. Julianna was kind of a mess." Scarlett smiled though she wasn't even sure the words sounded natural. It'd taken her too long to throw together the story, but it seemed genuine enough since no one was complaining. Well, or at least arguing with her about the validity of her story.

"How long will it take? I mean, you'll be back soon right? We have so much to do still." Tony nodded toward the rest of the suit.

"I'll be back as soon as I can. You work on whatever your idea is for the propulsion system. We can go over it when I get back. Don't… go crazy and test it on yourself. Please? I just promised Pepper you wouldn't lose a hand." Scarlett smiled pleasantly at Pepper but only got a glare in return. Eventually Scarlett was going to stop being nice. Thankfully Pepper hadn't said anything negative about her to her _face_ since that first incident.

Still. Scarlett felt that petty resentment building just beneath the skin no matter how she tried to ignore it.

"Alright. Be safe." Tony nodded and didn't look up as Scarlett grabbed her coat and left the basement with a wave. Pepper watched her go and then looked around the basement awkwardly. With Scarlett gone, Pepper had no real reason to be down there. Was that what she had resorted to? Spying on her boyfriend in hopes of finding a reason to be angry at him? Maybe he had been right. She only seemed to want to pick fights with him these days. 

Maybe she could fake it, feign interest in what was happening in Tony's lab.

"So you're making progress then?" Pepper spoke with a smile on her face. Tony nodded his head in excitement and held out the glove again to show her. "But you just said it shorted out and that could have been your hand."

"Yeah, but I'm fixing that and it _wasn't_ my hand." Tony laughed and then placed the glove down. "I know you don't want to see it."

"No, no!" Pepper held her hands up and Tony looked surprised. "Tell me. We haven't really talked in days."

"I think I've seen more of you this week than I have in the last six months." Tony joked but Pepper didn't seem to think it was very funny. "Kidding, _kidding…_ "

"Don't start, Tony."

"I wasn't." Tony nodded toward where the rest of the suit remained. "I know it looks like a mess down here and that's because… Scarlett and I work really differently." Tony nodded his head. "She's much more meticulous than I am but tends to spread out over a wider space and use what she's got until I tell her I've got something better."

"Yeah and you're used to this place." Pepper forced a smile. It was ten seconds into the conversation and he was already talking about _her_.

"Exactly!" Tony laughed. "But we actually manage to get this thing to come to me now. Her sensors work. The technology is solid, Pepper. I told you it would be good."

"Uh-huh." Pepper nodded again. "So then what's the problem?"

"Keeps shorting out and coming to me too fast. It's all the other technology that's not cooperating now. You see, the Iron Man suit well, the design is kind of like… a song. I've played it for so long and I know all the keys, all the notes. Now I've got to add this new verse and it's hard to place it properly. Some of the old notes have to be rewritten, rebuilt. It's kind of like starting over."

"Great, so there will be more of these, then?" Pepper looked to the wall of Tony's suits that was practically now a militia. 

"I'm trying to think about the here and now. I might adjust the current suits in order to integrate the technology but Scarlett suggested that I perhaps leave it. She made a good point."

"And that was?" Pepper swore that if it was one of the ten thousand points she had made in the past as to why the suits were in excess she was going to throw something at his head.

"That I don't need them all on a daily basis. Why fix what isn't broken? This one suit… then I'll go from there. We got distracted for a little while with the energy project and then it sort of… melted all over the floor just now? And caught fire?"

"Fire?" Pepper's jaw dropped. She couldn't hide that she wasn't happy with this conversation.

"You should have seen Scarlett trying to put it out, it was hilarious. Hey Jarvis can you replay footage of that last…"

"Enough, can…" Pepper held up her hands to stop him and walked toward his desk. "Can you not talk about her for just a few minutes?" She practically bit at him and Tony leaned back. He knew Pepper didn't like Scarlett, she had made that abundantly clear.

"You asked about what we were doing, I wasn't going on and on." Tony's tone of excitement disappeared. He'd hoped that they could have a nice conversation. She was so rarely interested in what he did these days down in his lab. In fact, Tony was sure that she blamed the suits for what was happening between them. "We're working together on this project, it's stupid to just keep her out of it. We can talk about something else if you want."

"Like what? She's a part of everything these days."

"You're the one who wanted to talk." Tony turned back to the glove on his desk. That was short lived. Pepper didn't want to talk to him, she'd just been hoping to distract him for a bit. So much for that.

"I can't do this anymore, Tony." Pepper turned away and exhaled deeply. "I can't!" That was enough to get Tony to stop what he was doing and finally pay attention to her. He knew she wasn't talking about the conversation, his lab, or even Scarlett.


	29. Theater

"What's going on?" Scarlett no longer appeared as the persona S.H.I.E.L.D. had gotten used to seeing her as in the media. Now she looked and felt more like her old self. Ragged old black jeans, leather jacket, tank top, hair pulled out of her face in a braid so it wouldn't get in her way, Scarlett had prepared to get to work on the flight over. Waiting so damn long on the jet had practically been torture but now as she walked through the busy Manhattan streets, Scarlett no longer felt nervous. Instead she was anxious.

Natasha gestured for Scarlett to come closer and she did as she was told. The redhead led her around the corner past a street vendor and into the doorway of a café. Inside S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents had taken over. The windows had the curtains drawn and the televisions still played to provide the illusion of staying in business. Even as they first walked inside, Scarlett would have simply guessed the café was overcrowded and the wait would be too long. S.H.I.E.L.D. was clever, they always had been. For a brief second Scarlett was grateful they were helping her. However, it was a very brief second.

"Wow, subtle."

"Can't tell if that's sarcasm or not." Natasha walked through the tables to the far back of the café where a coffee bar had once been. "Good people own this place. Old friends of one of the agents. They let us use this place as long as we compensate pay and promise not to destroy it if we can manage that." 

"Don't look at me like I'm going to start a firefight in here. I don't even have a gun yet." Scarlett scoffed, leaning against the counter.

"I'm not taking back the look." Natasha turned a laptop screen toward Scarlett and pointed at it. "This is the Gershwin Theatre." 

"Oh man," Scarlett grimaced, "I love this place. They're not going to blow it up are they? It's so _pretty._ " 

"Well, maybe you should have chosen to flirt with someone a little less Broadway famous." Natasha rolled her eyes. "Nathan has no idea what we're planning. We're waiting until intermission to make a move."

"What?" Scarlett's face fell. "Intermission? That's cutting it close. What information did you receive exactly?"

"Agent Barton provided us with news of an oncoming attack. From what we can figure it should take place sometime during the second act. That would be ideal for the biggest impact."

"And what if you're wrong?" Scarlett folded her arms over her chest. "What if they're not looking to make an impact? What if they're looking to kill Nathan? They're not trying to send a message to all of America, they're trying to send a message to me."

"That's why you need to get him out of there." Natasha pointed to her knowingly.

"I didn't come all this way to stay in the shadows, Tasha, I came here to put a stop to this and be of some use." Scarlett immediately argued. "And what about Clint? Where is he? Shouldn't he be running this operation after being under cover for so long? If anyone could get into their heads it's him."

"He's still under." Natasha placed a small device in front of her and tapped away on the laser keyboard that responded to her touch. 

"Oh, come _on._ " Scarlett banged her fist against the coffee bar and the bustling of the teams behind her stopped for a second before resuming with a wave from Natasha. "You guys can't really be that stupid, right? He's in trouble! For all we know this could be bullshit to lure out a mole." Scarlett rolled her eyes.

"I know that."

"And you let him stay under?"

"He refused to come in." Natasha nodded her head. "He was confident his cover wasn't blown so I trusted him. He was going back with or without my approval."

"Cool, so you still trust people, that's nice to know." Scarlett nodded but felt uneasy. Clint was in trouble. Scarlett _knew_ Clint was in trouble. 

"The threat is viable. We've seen signs of it already. Something's going on."

"So you're hoping to wait them out." Scarlett nodded and let go of the tension that had already settled in the back of her neck. "Well, if I'm going in there at all you're giving me guns. I brought my own knives." Scarlett offered a smile at last, but it was more confident than encouraging.

"Already ahead of you." Natasha nodded to a corner of the café where several cases of weapons had been set up for agents. "We have men on every street corner, prepared to set up a perimeter. There are Agents inside who are ready to evacuate the building as quickly as they can if anything goes wrong."

"You mean if anything blows up. You know evacuations take time, right? People become sheep when they panic."

"I know. But they're not going to blow anything up. Explosives are too risky. Besides, this particular threat seems to be biological. They don't want to kill people as much as they want to poison them."

"This keeps getting better." Scarlett scoffed. "So we're just going to slowly kill innocent people instead of blowing them bits. _Fun._ Did you at least do a sweep of the area to make sure this isn't a trick?" 

"They're not going to do anything with you in there." Natasha looked to her seriously. "I'm good at my job, in case you forgot."

"Ah, I'm bait." Scarlett nodded her head. "Is it weird I like being bait better than being kept in a box like some useless twit who can't take care of herself?" 

"Not for you it isn't." Natasha offered a smile and then pointed again to the screen. "There's already a perimeter setup, it's just silent. We don't want them to know we're here until the time comes."

"They know we're here. I'd say they're counting on us being here." Scarlett poked at the laptop and took in the lay of the theater. "Do I get a fancy little earpiece like everyone else?" Natasha reached behind her and pulled just that for Scarlett off of the counter and handed it to her. "Thank you." She pushed it in place and synced it with her phone before waiting for someone on the other side.

"Scarlett? You made it." Jinx didn't sound incredibly happy on the other end of the line, but Scarlett hadn't expected her to. "Is everything alright?"

"As fine as a biological terrorist threat can be. Jinx I need you to send me the layout of this theater. I need GPS inside the theater. I need old schematics, from its inception to now, preferably soon." Scarlett tapped at the counter and couldn't help but notice a smile from Natasha. "I want to know more secrets about this theater than the… Phantom of the Opera." Scarlett heard wincing across the counter but Jinx stifled laughter. "It was bad, I know, but it _worked_."

"All being sent to your phone, boss." Jinx cleared her throat over the radio and at once images appeared on Scarlett's phone. 

"You're good." Scarlett nodded and scrolled through the layouts of the building, leaning over so that Natasha could get a better look at them. "Here, hold on, look…" Scarlett fiddled around with the screen, pressed a few buttons and then a holographic display of the blueprints floated a few inches above her phone. Natasha cocked a curious eyebrow. "So our exits are… here, here, and here." Scarlett pointed to the hologram which expanded and changed with her tug. "I mean, obviously other exits here… but not _ideal_. Biological weapons are difficult. One wrong move and you infect yourself. My guess is that if they're _serious_ about hurting people they'll want to be long gone by the time that they set this thing off." Scarlett waited for Natasha to argue, as she was sure she would, but instead she simply stared at her. "What?"

"You have been spending _way_ too much time with Stark." 

"I was inspired. Jarvis is kind of amazing." Scarlett laughed but then spun the blueprints in front of her. "What, you don't like that my tech is getting better?"

"No, I do…" Natasha drifted off. She didn't like that her tech was only getting better when her time was running so low. "Look, we think that the people working from MedCo are willing to risk life and limb to make sure this thing goes off. I don't think they _care_ if their employees are infected."

"So, you're thinking suicide soldiers?" Scarlett sighed. She was hoping that wouldn't be the case. "But you also think they won't set it off if I'm in there." 

"Exactly. You're our bargaining chip."

"Except that you're sending me in there, guns loaded." Scarlett smirked, hoping that Natasha agreed. "Look we can handle this between the two of us but we have to be careful. I'm not going to put it against those jackasses to use anyone in that theater against us. They know S.H.I.E.L.D. doesn't condone the death of innocent people."

"They don't think that about _you_ though. For all they know, you're still as ruthless as ever. They probably expect you to be livid too." Natasha tapped the table and then pointed to the phone. "May I?" Scarlett gestured the okay and Natasha zoomed in on a back room. "There's a staircase back here for the stagehands to man the huge props in this place. The theater is massive and beautiful…"

"Are you familiar with it?"

"Yeah, I love Wicked. Is that a problem?"

"Just didn't take you for a thespian, that's all." Scarlett chuckled, holding her hands up innocently.

"I'm going in the back with a team. We suspect that they're doing something behind the stage or in the attic. We'll investigate and see what we can do from there. You go in the front door."

"Wow, you really _do_ want to send me in there guns blazing, don't you?" Scarlett smirked but still had a playful smile on her face.

"No, I want you to pretend to be the person we want you to be and get Nathan _out_ of there. He's the target and if we remove the target? Then there's less of a chance he can be held against you."

"Right." Scarlett nodded and leaned against the table, looking over the blueprint once again. She caught Natasha's gaze and smiled once more.

"What? It's a beautiful story of being different and acceptance, okay?"

"I didn't say anything."

"Idina Menzel is _amazing_." Natasha spoke threateningly.

"Yes, a goddess, now can we focus?" Scarlett flicked the hologram away and picked up her phone and shoved it deep inside her pocket. 

"You're the one who got all judgy."

"I thought it was _cute_."

"It is cute, I'm very cute."

"Yeah, cute as a berretta." 

"You're not much better."

"It's why I always liked you, Tasha." Scarlett clasped her friend's shoulder.

"Let's get going. Are you okay going in alone?"

"Honey, I do my best work alone." 

Despite how much they joked, how they teased, it was very serious business. Natasha felt _better_ knowing Scarlett was in such good spirits. For weeks she hadn't been herself, but then again they had _forced_ that upon her. Sometimes Natasha also regretted getting S.H.I.E.L.D. involved but she knew it was the only way to get Scarlett the care she needed. By herself, Natasha wasn't much of a doctor. Yes, she could handle wounds, that was no big deal. But complex biological chemistry? With time she was sure she could manage, but S.H.I.E.L.D. already had what they would need. Scarlett's best shot was with S.H.I.E.L.D. 

"One problem." Scarlett clicked her tongue after checking her weapons and ammunition. Natasha looked to her expectantly while her team prepped behind her. Michelangela Pierce could be seen a few feet behind her, distributing weaponry. 

"What's that?"

"I don't exactly look like what Nathan's used to seeing." Scarlett gestured to herself and then placed her hands on her hips.

"Trust me, that guy is so head over heels for you he's not going to care that you're not all dolled up." Natasha rolled her eyes and Scarlett grumbled beneath her breath. Waving her hand in the air, she pointed toward the door. "Positions, everyone."

Natasha disappeared with her team and Scarlett waited until she received word from Jinx that it was time to go.

Scarlett would have been nervous if she hadn't been so eager to do some actual work. Part of her was frightened that people would get hurt, but there was only so much Scarlett could do. Worrying wasn't helping anyone, but what they did next possibly could. Hopefully they were as prepared for an evacuation as Natasha made it sound. Was it really morally appropriate for S.H.I.E.L.D. to allow this kind of operation to go underway? It was one thing when Scarlett or Natasha had done this sort of thing on their own on a mission. It was entirely another for a big organization, supposedly out to protect humanity, to put so many people at risk.

Crisis of conscience aside, Scarlett was ready for action. She made her way from the cafe and walked across the street and into the theater. With a few quick words and a flirtatious smile she was granted access to the theater. It was easy to manipulate people, particularly when their day was otherwise boring. These poor employees had no idea what lay ahead. 

It took little work to get backstage and soon Scarlett was walking through cast members and stagehands in search of Nathan. He wasn't hard to find. The man was all business when it came to his work and while he was still charming as he went about it, Scarlett couldn't help but admire how well he handled his business. It was part of what had drawn them to each other in the first place.

Slowly she moved through the stagehands, drawing little attention to herself. Tapping Nathan on the shoulder, Scarlett was surprised when he held up a hand to signal that it would be a moment.

"Do you see how this works? They changed the way it releases so when you place the props you could perhaps place it this way and not... like this." Nathan smiled, turning the dagger in his hand before holding it out for the stagehand to take. "Now what can I do for you... _Scarlett?_ " Nathan's eyes sparkled with excitement and surprise. "What on earth are you doing here? Look at you!" He laughed, stepping back to take in the image of her.

"I know, it's a real surprise. Do you have a moment?" Scarlett reminded herself to tell Natasha that she told her it wouldn't go unnoticed to be all dressed in black like some burglar. For the everyday person, they wouldn't even recognize her without her hair and makeup done and in a form fitting dress. But for Nathan? He knew her well enough to notice the difference.

"For you? Absolutely." Nathan smiled and was even more delighted when she took his hand and led him through those working backstage. "I don't have long, you see... Curtain and all that."

"It's important." Scarlett led him into the hallway and when she found it still full of people she started back through the winding paths that led to storage closets where props and costumes long since retired were now stored. Confident she was alone with Nathan at last, she took a deep breath, released Nathan's hand and prepared herself for a conversation she guessed wasn't going to go so well.

"I'm glad you came to see me. You can stay side stage if you like." Nathan was smiling like a stupid teenage boy with a crush again. Scarlett knew at once he had gotten the wrong idea.

"I can't stay for long. I need to talk to you."

"I'd like to talk to you too." Nathan stepped a bit closer and placed his hand on her shoulder. When Scarlett made a move to shrug him away he let his hand gently slide down her arm and then picked up her hand. "Perhaps a late dinner after my show? For now I'd like to make the most of my time..." Nathan urged her hand to his shoulder and placed his hand on her cheek. Before he could make a move to kiss her, Scarlett backed up and held up both her hands.

"Oh, no, no, you very much have the wrong idea." Scarlett chuckled but Nathan grunted in annoyance.

"You're going to have to let me in, let _someone_ in, eventually, Scarlett." He pinched his nose in annoyance. Scarlett could tell he was embarrassed. 

"That's not why I'm here, it's not what I wanted. You've jumped to conclusions but it's fine."

"Then what is it you want, exactly?" Nathan was finally frustrated with his failed attempts to woo her. 

"That was _never_ what I wanted, Nathan."

"What have I done wrong, Scarlett?" Nathan ran his fingers through his hair and slumped his shoulders. Turning away from her, he wiped his hand over his mouth and then stared down at his feet. "What is it you could possibly want if not me? Stark? Really?"

"This is not the time or place for this conversation, Nathan. It is the last thing on my mind actually." Scarlett walked around him to force him to face her since when she grabbed his shoulder he refused to budge. "We can have this talk just not right now."

"Then when? All you do is avoid the obvious, Scarlett." Nathan stood his ground and Scarlett again felt that guilt in her stomach but it was mixed with something else. Frustration. Why did everything she did with the opposite sex have to become about romance? She was tired of people getting the wrong idea. 

"You're in danger." She decided to ignore the drama. There really wasn't any time for it and if she continued on she might _actually_ say what she was thinking and that would be trouble. "We need to get you out of here as soon as we can."

"What?" Nathan shook his head in confusion and blinked his eyes shut for a long moment as if trying to process something very difficult. "What do you mean? If I'm in danger then the whole cast is in danger."

"Yes, I know." Scarlett had known this was going to be the hardest part of this particular task. Nathan was angry with her and embarrassed that she had outright rejected him. "And there are other people in here who are going to handle the full scale evacuation with time. But... _you're_ in immediate danger."

"I don't understand."

"What don't you understand? We've got to go." Scarlett nodded down the hall.

"You come in here, interrupt my work and then expect me to just..."

"Nathan, christ! You're in danger. Everyone here is in danger! Will you just trust me?" Scarlett snapped at last and Nathan at last shook out of his dismay.

"You're serious?" Nathan's expression changed entirely.

"Yes." Scarlett sighed at last then started down the hallway. Nathan followed along behind her.

"Why? What's happening." He lowered his voice and looked around to make sure no one was listening or perhaps in search of some unseen villain. Either way, Scarlett was just grateful he was at last following her. 

"There's no time. I'll explain when you and everyone else are safe." Scarlett closed her eyes and recalled the blueprints she'd overlooked and pointed toward a hallway down the right. "This way." But Nathan grabbed her wrist and pulled her to a stop. "What? What now? We have to _go._ "

"If I'm in danger then you must be too." Nathan tightened his grip on her wrist. "Am I right?"

"Yeah." Scarlett nodded. They didn't have time for this. "Which is why we should, maybe just maybe, _go_."

"I can protect you." He straightened his back and furrowed his brow.

"Nathan, that's very sweet but I'm going to protect you." Scarlett smiled and while Nathan didn't quite understand, she knew it was the truth. "Alpha, how's it going?" Scarlett spoke into her earpiece.

"Dark." Natasha responded. Her team had spread out across the back of the theater, slowly moving through old rooms and then up stairs throughout the building. Natasha had split her units into four teams and sent them in each direction, searching each floor in silence, looking for any sign of MedCo. Natasha herself had gone to the topmost floor and was searching through long abandoned attics riddled with machinery that no longer worked. "What's the word?"

"Package acquired." Scarlett signaled quietly through the earpiece. "And you?"

"Nothing yet." Natasha, gun drawn, slowly crept around corners and ducked under passages. Just then there were quiet voices from somewhere ahead of her. Crouching low, Natasha crept toward the sound and soon saw a soft glow coming from the far end of the attic. There, hooked up to the ventilation system of the old theater was some kind of terrible looking contraption. A closer glance and Natasha knew exactly what it had to be. It was some kind of a bomb. Where were the voices she'd heard coming from? Natasha knew she wasn't alone and moved closer and more carefully.

If she moved quietly enough, meticulously enough, perhaps she could get pictures of the bomb sent to her teams to find out how to disarm it. There was a gas canister on one side, filled with something horrible, no doubt. Natasha screwed up her ears and listened, careful to search for any footsteps behind her. Even her own had been muffled on the old worn wooden flooring. Carefully she looked over the bomb but as she leaned back something cold pressed against the back of her neck.

It was a gun. 

Natasha stood up straight and held her hands up on either side of her.

"Ah, the lapdog." The cold voice of a woman met Natasha's ears. One glance at the reflective surface of the gas canister told Natasha she was face to face with Marcia Edmonton, one of the three heads of MedCo. 

"Pretty quiet for an old hag." Natasha spoke carefully and weighed her options.

"Almost unnatural, you'd say." Marcia leaned close and spoke sinisterly. "Step away from the device, Miss Romanova." 

"You were expecting me." Natasha did as she was told, carefully. From three directions people came. Guards, warriors, hired by MedCo. Each looked prepared to put Natasha in her place.

"Of course we were." Marcia's cold voice was arrogant. "Do you really think we'd care about some clueless actor?"

"It was me you wanted then." Natasha watched as the group surrounded her. They had guns but they weren't holding them. Natasha might have been able to take out a handful of them but they were likely familiar with her skills. "You set us up. Very smart."

"Yes. Finally we have someone Scarlett _actually_ cares about." 

"Delta, proceed." Natasha spoke into her earpiece but said little more. She was planning her escape.

"I'm going to need you to take a step back." Marcia instructed once again. Natasha nodded her head slowly to comply and did as she was told. "Good dog."

Natasha at once ducked low, grabbed Marcia's wrist to point the gun away from her, gripped the pressure point on her wrist and forced the gun from her hand. Then she kicked it underneath the bomb and sunk low to the ground where she slid around Marcia's legs. With a twist and a sweeping leg she knocked Marcia right onto her back with a thud. Marcia shouted orders to her team but Natasha knew just by the count she'd done earlier that she was outnumbered.

She had two options. Escape or be captured. One of those wasn't an option.

Flipping onto her hands and knees, Natasha grabbed Marcia's leg and dragged her beneath her. If she could get the head of MedCo at gunpoint she could use her as leverage. As she reached for the woman's throat she was kicked in the stomach by her sensible heels and then grabbed as she lurched backwards on either side.

Dragged a few feet backwards, Natasha gathered her footing and walked backwards with them then with a twist of her wrists triggered the rounded tasers wrapped around them. Each man twisted and seized with electricity as it coursed through them. Steadying her feet, Natasha twisted free and grabbed their arms and shoved the two warriors together. The woman who had grabbed onto her left arm smacked her head so hard that there was a dull thud and she collapsed in a heap. 

The man however didn't fall so Natasha grabbed him, punched him the stomach then knocked him on the floor where he didn't get back up.

A metal baton hit her with a thwack on the side and she grabbed it as it came for a second hit. Pulling her assailant closer she leaned narrowly out of the way as a second and third person came toward her. They were so covered from head to toe in gear that Natasha had difficulty discerning their true gender, height, and weight without getting closer or hearing their sounds. Marcia was egging them on, she didn't sound at all worried.

Twisting the metal baton free, Natasha swung it at the first assailant, then at the next before it was pulled from her hand. She grabbed an arm that came behind her with a gun and it clattered to the ground.

"I want her breathing!" Marcia warned overhead as she dusted herself off. Her lip was swollen from where she'd smashed into the floor. 

Natasha swung around onto the back of her attacker. She slammed against his arm several times until his gun fell from his grip. Quickly she withdrew two small discs, slid them together and a thin wire appeared between them. In a flash she had this wire around the throat of the man she had climbed on top of.

He choked and sputtered and he stumbled backwards at first then continued to do so on purpose until Natasha was forced against a beam and hard. With a second smash, Natasha's head hit the wood hard enough to disorient her. Her grip weakened on the wire so she pulled it free and allowed it to retract.

As she was slammed a third time she released her assailant, grabbed onto the beam above her and flipped upside down out of reach. The attacker lost their balance and fell onto the floor. She twisted behind the beam as a taser gun shot toward her. The needles pierced the wood and shorted out.

Natasha made a move to swing forward but was grabbed by one of the attackers in black who made a running leap and bounced off of the wall. 

"Shit..." Natasha mumbled in an attempt to swing out of the way but her leg was grabbed. She placed her foot against the side of her attacker's head but was surprised when she was twisted hard enough for her grip to be lost. She slammed hard onto the floor and twisted onto her back. Kicking with her free leg she smashed the gas mask of her attacker, then flipped backwards and leapt forward to jump on her attacker. Grabbing the strong woman beneath her on either side of her face she twisted hard until she heard a pop and felt her neck go limp.

She had a very short window. The door was in front of her and if she ran, dodged, ducked and used the beams overhead for help she could get away. 

Then she was grabbed by her shoulder and knocked in the side by another baton. Natasha twisted and kicked one of her attackers hard in the face. She was smacked hard across the face with another baton, blood spraying from her now split lip.

Stumbling, she dodged a kick at her legs but couldn't escape a second blow and fell to her knees. Smacked a second time hard across the face, she was dazed at last and fell to the ground. Before she could get up, she was kicked in her ribs. Someone grabbed her and pulled her to her knees but as she struggled, several others grabbed onto her to subdue her.

One of the remaining attackers drew a gun and held it to the back of her head. Natasha's vision was blurry so she closed her eyes tight and concentrated. She focused quickly and opened her eyes though the left one stung with blood. Half a dozen men and women lay on the floor out of commission. It was a considerable dent in those who had come for her.

She'd known there was no way for her to take out that many men at once in such a confined space. Without an advantage she had merely been buying time.

Marcia walked in front of Natasha, standing a few feet in front of her with a smile on her face.

"Did you think I'd come for you and not be prepared for a fight?"

"Not at all." Natasha spit away the blood that pooled in her mouth.

"I'll make a trade off."

"Rot in hell."

"I know she's here." Marcia was impatient. Despite her smile, Natasha could see it now. Marcia had been panicked that so many on her team had been taken out. Just out of the corner of her eye, she could see the bomb. If she could just get to it and stop it from being detonated, she'd be lucky. "Call her to you. Call for help. I'll let you go once we have her." 

"You don't know us very well, do you?" Natasha scoffed, regaining her vision. She wasn't the type to let something like a bump to the head and a smack to the mouth get her down for very long.

"Oh, we know desperation when we see it." Marcia stepped closer and crouched down to look Natasha in the eyes. The Black Widow didn't look away. How much did they know? "Did you think we wouldn't know? You're evacuating this very moment. You didn't take that very small window you had, Miss Romanova."

"That's not my name." Natasha whispered.

"Evacuation won't save anyone." Marcia stood up, fixed her jacket and turned toward the man closest to her. He spoke into an earpiece and for a second there was silence.

Then the ground shook and there was a terrible explosion.

The lights flickered, dust fell from the ceiling. Natasha's earpiece came to life in a panic. Someone had set off a bomb on the street corner outside.

"How many more lives are you willing to end today?" Marcia tested Natasha whose thoughts were racing. How had they known their plan? Was there a mole working for S.H.I.E.L.D.? Was someone passing their secrets just as Clint had been passing theirs?

"Scarlett?" Natasha spoke into her earpiece, not taking her eyes off of Marcia. "I'm going to need some backup." She could only hope that her friend would recognize a setup when she saw one.

"That's a good dog."


	30. Baggage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy holidays!

"Great timing…" Scarlett muttered under her breath sarcastically after the distress call rang over the radio. "Alright everyone, stay calm! Just… don't run each other over, alright?" Scarlett grumbled as people did exactly the _opposite_ of that. 

Something was happening in the upper levels of the old theater and it was _not_ good, whatever it was.

Natasha had given the order for evacuation and ever since then hell had broken loose in the back of theater. Cast members were running through the halls for escape, several had stopped to ask Nathan if he was alright. Scarlett had, at first, grabbed Nathan and made a run for it but he'd insisted upon helping his fellow thespians before he could flee to safety. She had mentioned something about his stupid conscience that had incited a laugh despite their situation but had decided to help him regardless. 

S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents had emerged from the crowd attending the play and were hurrying people from the theater as quickly as they could. It was far less organized than one would expect from such a large organization. When it came down to it evacuations really just _weren't_ organized in practice. People were smarter than they were given credit for… evacuation never meant something _good_ was happening. People were _also_ panicky. 

Then the theater _shook!_ Scarlett grabbed the wall and crouched low then grabbed Nathan's arm to keep him from falling over. Dust fell from the ceiling as the building quaked. The lights flickered then returned to life but panic erupted all around them.

Scarlett was more than familiar with that sound. 

Something had exploded _outside_ the theater. 

"Tasha? What's going on up there? Are you all right?" Scarlett stepped away from Nathan who followed after her. There was no response but it wouldn't have mattered, Scarlett wouldn't have heard it.

People were suddenly shouting in fear and running past her. Men and women dressed in black from head to toe, gas masks on their face, marched through the halls, armed and ready for battle. They spread out from left to right through the crowds but in front of them was a man Scarlett recognized.

But just barely.

Scott, but not the Scott she had known, was directing this tiny militia but he himself kept going straight the hallway. Right toward Scarlett and Nathan. 

The only thing that hadn't changed were his blue eyes. Not to mention the scar in the middle of his forehead from where Scarlett had shot him. Hair still blond, still short, but messier than it had once been, Scott no longer wore the glasses he'd once relied on. In fact, one of his eyes was completely dull, glazed over, and accompanied by terrible scars that spread all over his face, covered his left ear and spread down his neck. Once relatively thin but tall, Scott was twice the man he had once been, wearing body armor, no weapons slung over his back that Scarlett could see.

"What's wrong, Scarlett? You look like you've seen a ghost." Even his voice was different, slick, slithering, hoarse with damage. Blood was spattered across his face and for the first time in her life, Scarlett could swear that she was frozen in place with fear. Never had she understood that expression, not until now. Scott's laughter echoed throughout the hall. 

"You know him?" Nathan awoke her from her panicked state, though not without scaring the hell out of her. She jumped nearly out of her skin, her heart racing in her ears as she immediately held out an arm to make Nathan back up while Scott slowly approached them. 

"Know me? Oh, have you not told him about all your exes, then?" Scott snarled, blood dripping down his lips. 

"What happened to you?" Scarlett felt the sickness rise in her stomach, the taste of bile in the back of her throat threatening her. Never had she seen anyone look so disgusting, so sickly and still remain standing. 

"What _happened?_ You happened, you bitch!" Scott smiled and his teeth were tinted pink, his gums bloodied. He placed a gloved finger to his forehead, mocked the shape of a gun and pulled the trigger. "Don't recognize your own handiwork anymore? Or is that an act too? Do you even _remember_ what it was like to pull the trigger and take a life?" Scarlett stepped back with Nathan as Scott edged closer. His men were spreading through the theater, she could hear fighting. Other S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents were making attempts to intercept but she would have to be on the lookout. There had been eight of them, at least two of them had made their way backstage so she'd have to watch her rear. Her mind ran over the schematics, searching for an escape, at least for Nathan.

"What is he talking about? Scarlett who is this… or what is this…"

"Am I good enough now?" Scott laughed, holding his arms out to his side and gesturing to himself. "Am I _strong_ enough for you now? Does the danger still turn you on? I was _never_ dangerous enough for you, was I? Always the safe choice. Tot so much anymore, am I?"

"Look, I don't know who you are or what you're doing here but I think this is quite enough!" Nathan tried to step around Scarlett who turned and urged him to stop.

"You don't know what you're doing." Scarlett whispered.

"I know you don't deserve to be spoken to like that!"

"I think you're ignoring all the guns walking around us." Scarlett hissed and at once Nathan's eyes widened. He hadn't even _noticed_ that people were carrying guns. It was amazing how oblivious an ordinary person could be. 

"Oh, she's leaving you in the dark entirely then, is she?" Scott tilted his head to the side curiously and clicked his tongue. "Maybe because deep down she knows she _still_ belongs to me."

"People don't belong to other people." Nathan was disgusted.

"Enough! I know what you're doing here, I'm not stupid." Scarlett had known that MedCo would be smart enough to realize they would counter their attack but never in a million years had she considered that Scott would be present. He'd never been much of a fighter, skinny, more of a thinker, she thought he would be more behind the scenes with whatever they were planning. 

"You aren't? Oh, I know you're not but you _are_ a fool. So smart and yet so… naïve." Scott smirked. "If you come willingly I'll let the pretty boy go unscathed."

"And if you touch me I'll break your hand." Scarlett could hear panic over her radio, Jinx and Mickey were organizing the chaos the best they could. Agents subduing MedCo and vice versa, cries for help.

"Scarlett, what is going on?" Nathan wasn't a stupid man, he could see this was way over his head but it didn't mean he was going running. "I'm not letting them take you anywhere!"

"Nathan, I know you are trying to be sweet but I really, _really_ need you to shut up right now." Scarlett hissed.

"Oh, she doesn't have a choice." Scott stepped closer, close enough to grab. He hissed and made a false start toward her and she backed up in fear. Laughter echoed from his throat but it sounded horrible and gurgling. What had MedCo done to him? "You should _let_ me take her. You're not her type. You'd find out soon enough."

"You're a _monster!_ " Nathan was shaking from head to toe but Scarlett was searching for an exit. They were close to the stage. The curtain was still closed and the set was still up. It could offer them a chance to get to one of the emergency exits on the other side. Scott was trying to distract her, to upset her, but Scarlett wasn't going to let him get into her head. She couldn't afford to be as vulnerable as she'd been feeling lately.

Yes, he had, for a brief moment scared her stiff. But Nathan was there. Nathan needed to get to safety. That kept her focused, kept her stronger than her fear.

"Ah yes, but I wasn't once. She made me into a monster and if you're not careful she'll make you into one too." Scott hissed with delight. "Chances are she's already cheating on you, Richardson."

"What…" Nathan was thrown off by the sound of his name.

"You think she wouldn't do that?"

"Why does he know my name, Scarlett?" Nathan hissed.

"Don't listen to him." Scarlett wished that Nathan had any combat training at all. There were no discreet signals she could throw to tell him of her plan. She was going to start a fire. Scarlett had never liked fire, it was too unpredictable, but it was the best option she had right now. 

"He knows who I am!" Nathan grabbed her arm, alarmed.

"He doesn't know? He doesn't know what you are? I bet he doesn't know the trouble you're in either. Tell me, how is it you're not hospitalized yet?" Scott growled, the blood dripping past his lips as he stepped closer. "What is it they're doing to you at S.H.I.E.L.D.?" Rage flashed over his face. Had the poison done this to him? Scarlett noted the changes again. Was what she saw now the result of MedCo's attempts to keep Scott healthy?

She _had_ done this to him. The monster in front of her was of her own creation. She'd tried to kill him, to leave him for dead. She'd even made sure he was dead, she'd infected him with that poison after he'd done the same to her and shot him in the head! It didn't matter that she'd tried to kill him. Fact was, he was alive, and he was a monster. A monster of her making.

This was no time for a panic attack. She had to tell herself over and over again that it was no time to freeze up, to shake, to get sick.

"S.H.I.E.L.D.?" Nathan echoed.

"Don’t tell me!" Scott held up his hand, his grin spreading wide across his face. "Don't. Let me find out as we cut you apart, piece by piece. I'll find out just why you're still standing upright. Peel that pretty skin back layer by layer, piece by piece. Don't worry, you'll be awake. I'll make sure of it."

"That's enough! You won't touch her!" Nathan shouted and made a surprisingly controlled jab at Scott.

"Nathan, damnit!" Scarlett tried to grab him but it was too late. Scott knocked the punch away, grabbed Nathan by his shoulders and threw him against the wall near the stage entrance. Nathan stood up and stumbled but then steadied himself.

"You're a devil, whoever you are! I don't know what happened between you two but it is clear you are despicable! I won't allow you to harm her!"

Scott's smile faded and his lip twitched. A low growl emerged from his throat, unearthly and distorted.

"After everything she put me through you have no _say_ in what happens here." Scott slowly took a step toward Nathan but not far enough from Scarlett that he'd let her out of his sight. "She's _mine_. Mine! She belongs to me! I earned her! Years of waiting, hoping she'd change! Years of being cheated on! I _earned_ this!" 

"You're a madman!" Nathan, much to everyone's surprise, swung again at Scott and struck him hard enough in the face to knock him back. Scott stumbled and wiped the blood that dripped down his lip. His flesh had ripped enough to reveal a few of his teeth hidden beneath his skin. 

Scarlett would have to remember to ask Nathan where the hell he'd learned to throw a punch like that. With surprising speed for a monster of his hulking size, Scott jumped at Nathan and grabbed him. Nathan punched at him again but Scott absorbed the blow and the jabs that followed. Then he grabbed Nathan by the throat and lifted him into the air with ease. Nathan choked and swung his legs in an attempt to break free and even pulled at Scott's fingers. He even clawed at his flesh in desperation.

Scott merely laughed. It was haunting and echoed despite the chaos of the theater that was finally emptying out. Scarlett could hear her radio going off but past the buzzing in her ears she couldn't make out the call.

"I've just decided I'll let you _watch._ " Scott squeezed Nathan's neck harder and went to continue taunting. He turned toward Scarlett but Scarlett was no longer there.

She had moved behind Scott, grabbed his free arm and pulled him away. For a brief flicker of a second she'd been afraid that her waning strength from illness would keep her from being able to fight but she seemed to be doing just fine. With a swift tug back and then up she felt the bone snap and crack. Nathan scrambled onto the ground and stumbled away. Scarlett kicked Scott hard in the back, forcing him away before twisting and grabbing Nathan to hold behind her protectively. 

Aiming straight at Scott she held the pistol readily, surprised her hands had stopped shaking. 

"Is that a gun?" Nathan whispered in awe, but he wasn't letting any of the surprise knock him off of his game. He gasped and rubbed as his throat but stayed upright, prepared to help Scarlett if he had to, even though he had no idea what exactly was happening. 

"Don't move." Scarlett clicked the safety off and placed her finger next to the trigger, ready to fire if he took a single step toward her.

"Go ahead and shoot me." Scott stood up straight, his arm twisted unnaturally at his side. For a moment he had gritted his teeth, had felt the pain she'd inflicted but now he acted as though it was nothing at all. "You wouldn't kill me twice, would you?" His laugh echoed through the hall. Scarlett took a step closer and held her free hand behind her to make sure Nathan didn't move with her. "I thought not…"

Scarlett pulled the trigger twice and shot Scott once in the chest and when it struck body armor, shot him higher and to the left where the bullet pierced his flesh. Blood spattered against the wall and he stumbled in place.

"Oh, you _bitch_ …" Scott chuckled and stood upright, his breathing not even ragged. Scarlett glanced again at the bullet hole in his head and then at the fresh wound on his chest. He wasn't dying, not like this. Whatever MedCo had done to bring him back to life after she'd made sure he was dead had made him superhuman. It sounded crazy, hell, it felt crazy even to think it but Scarlett could deal with rationalities and reality later when she wasn't being attacked, when Nathan wasn't in danger behind her. If she couldn't kill him, she could at least disable him.

"Nathan, you've got to go." Scarlett whispered to him as she took a step back, shoving behind her blindly with her other hand.

"Not without you." Nathan argued in return. They didn't have time for this.

"Fine." Scarlett aimed and shot Scott in the foot as he made a step toward her with the growl. Then she shot again but he merely dragged the bloodied foot along behind him with a howl. Before she could fire the gun again he grabbed the smoking hot barrel and twisted her toward him, making to grab for her with his ruined arm. Scarlett twisted her gun free, ducked under his arm, grabbed his wrist and twisted it so she heard another terrible snap. 

Pulling his ruined arm away, he twisted low, pulled a knife from where it was strapped to the side of his leg, turned it in his hand and swung at Scarlett. She held up her arms defensively, watching his hands and as he swung she dodged. When he swung again, she blocked his wrist and knocked him back.

"Kill me once shame on me, Scarlett!" Scott shouted as he leapt at her in anger, jabbing the blade toward her. Scarlett twisted out of the way, ducked underneath his arm and then kicked it away as he made for her a second time. Twisting the knife in his hands Scott swung down hard. The blow missed as Scarlett intended and he stumbled downward. Scarlett kicked at his wrist, then turned and fired her gun again at his foot. If she could slow him down their odds for escape would be doubled. Nathan was watching and holding up his fists, making mock jabs left and right, urging Scarlett onward encouragingly. 

Howling in rage, Scott ran toward Scarlett with such speed, such anger that she didn't get to aim. Nathan was behind her so Scarlett moved aside and braced her footing but Scott grabbed her and threw her to the ground, back toward him. Twisting in anger, Scott swiped left and right, even with his ruined arm which moved far beyond his control at this point.

"How do you like me now, Scarlett? How? Is this what you wanted?"

"Are you all right?" Nathan helped Scarlett to her feet and she did so then immediately pushed him away. Scott ran at her again.

"You're weak! I can see your strength fading!" He swung the knife toward her and Scarlett grabbed Nathan and pulled him at a run toward the stage. Scott ran headlong into a cart full of props, knocked it over then picked up the cart in his rage, smashed it against the wall and threw it toward Scarlett who dodged it with ease, with Nathan at her heels.

As Scott recovered with a growl, Scarlett aimed the gun toward him and fired her weapon at his shoulder twice but he leapt high, higher than humanly possible, and grabbed onto the catwalk above their heads. The second bullet clattered against the metal, missing its target.

With a slash of his knife, Scott cut the rope on one of the sandbags above and it crashed below, exploding onto the stage but missing Scarlett and Nathan by a long shot. One of the lights hissed as Scott grabbed it and it burned his hand. With a horrible screech it was pulled from the ceiling and thrown below, exploding in a haze of electricity and sparks.

"Come on!" Scarlett grabbed Nathan and pulled him further onto the stage, the curtain was half open. It wasn't ideal, she was a target on the middle of the damn stage literally surrounded by spotlights. So much for starting a distracting fire, she no longer had the chance and would risk only harming herself in the process if she couldn't escape Scott in time. Her shortness of breath was catching up with her but she managed best she could.

"Oh no, not so fast!" Scott grabbed another light fixture, swinging on the catwalk and threw it hard toward Scarlett and Nathan. Scarlett pushed Nathan aside and rolled out of the way as the metal scraped hard against the stage, leaving a terrible tear in the ground as the metal bent and sparked. The stage shook beneath him as Scott leapt with a crash. "This is my show now, Scarlett!"

Arms in front of him, Scott ran toward them as they recovered from their dodge. Scarlett rolled to her feet, shoved Nathan out of Scott's path and then turned and shot Scott in the shoulder, the bullet tore through his flesh and clattered somewhere behind them. His arm swung wildly, busted beyond repair, or at least Scarlett hoped for long enough that it could give her an advantage. It didn't stop him from running toward her, blood splattering all over her as he jumped right on top of her.

They were both knocked to the ground, sliding with Scarlett beneath him. One horrible maimed and bloody hand grabbed at her. She kicked him hard in the stomach but he pinned her leg down with his own and grabbed for her throat.

"You've done enough damage, haven't you? You're coming with me one way or another you bitch! I can't wait to watch you suffer!" Scott squeezed her neck and so she shoved her palm hard against his nose and he was forced to let go. Again she kicked at him and he sat upright and withdrew the knife from his side. Before he could stab at her Scarlett aimed her gun but she never got to pull the trigger.

There was a terrible thwack as a piece of the set was swung hard at Scott, hard enough to knock him off of Scarlett. Scarlett got to her feet and rolled away. Nathan held the prop steady, gripped it tightly in his hands and swung it hard over his head toward Scott again. This time Scott grabbed the prop and ripped it away, tossing it backwards. Nathan's hands stung as they were skinned, the prop pulled with such terrible force that he fell forward onto the ground.

"Shit." Scarlett whispered as she saw Scott lumber toward Nathan. There was gunfire in the theater and she ducked low. It wasn't aimed toward her, but she could see agents in the stands near the halls but she couldn't tell which belonged to MedCo and which belonged to S.H.I.E.L.D. There was no time to think about the secondary threat, right now she had to deal with Scott.

When he reached to grab Nathan who was slowly getting to his feet, Scarlett leapt right onto Scott's back, wrapping her legs around his middle. She placed her arms around his throat and squeezed.

"You should've stayed dead." She hissed in his ear and he coughed and sputtered. Blood dripped onto her jacket, looking sick and oddly coagulated after it sat for a second and dripped. All she could keep thinking was what the hell MedCo had done to him in an attempt to stop the poison in his veins and to make him stronger. Scott spun in place, making mad grabs for Scarlett to try and pull her away. Finally she jumped off of him and placed the gun to the back of his head. "Dodge this." 

Before she could pull the trigger he turned with surprising speed and kicked her feet right from underneath her. Scarlett fell to her knees, feeling the impact from the stage all the way up her legs to her hips. Scott turned toward her and she rolled around him and aimed her gun again and fired once more at his lower back. The bullet struck and tore but never came out the other side. Scott arched his back in pain and Scarlett lost her target as he howled. She only had three shots left in her magazine, she wasn't going to waste them on body armor.

Pain ripped through him and for a moment Scarlett thought she had incapacitated him. Scott stood breathing heavily, shaking from head to toe, blood dripping from his arm, his back, his mouth. Then heavy breathing turned into choking and choking became laughter. Picking up the discarded prop Nathan had swung at him, Scott turned and threw it straight toward Scarlett. She rolled out of the way onto her stomach and then leapt to her feet. Nathan was running toward her to try and help her up and so she grabbed his hand and pulled him in the opposite direction toward the other side of the stage instead.

"Oh, we are far from done! You slimy little rat, you thieving, murdering little harlot, we are far from finished! I will tell you when we are done!" Scott got to his feet, grabbed onto the curtain and then jumped back to the catwalk where he scaled it from beneath after them across the stage. With a great leap he swung from the catwalk and landed in front of Scarlett and Nathan, blocking their exit.

Scott grabbed for Scarlett and she shot at his hand and shoved Nathan backwards in one swift motion. Scott grabbed the barrel of her gun, hand bloodied and dripping and pulled her with it. Scarlett let go of the gun, twisted beneath his arm and kicked Scott hard in the stomach. Then she grabbed his arm, twisted it hard again until she heard another horrid cracking of bone and the gun clattered to the ground. Scott howled in pain and lurched for her but Scarlett kicked him in the chest. He stumbled back but she punched him in the jaw, then in the face with her other hand. Her fist ached but didn't break skin beneath her thick gloves. Then she kicked him again and punched right at his shoulder where she could see the bullet hole in his black clothing. He groaned and stumbled back, breathing heavily and hunching over, holding his bloodied shoulder.

"How can you still fight like this?" Scott hissed between haggard laughter and heavy breathing. " _How?_ What are they giving you at S.H.I.E.L.D.?" 

Scarlett backed slowly away from him, on her guard, trying to listen for the footsteps of more agents around her. Everything was a setup, they would likely be waiting for her at the exit. Scott wasn't bait, he was corralling her like cattle. He wanted to make her angry, make her sloppy and she wasn't going to let it work.

"I forgot just how good you were." Scott straightened his back and rotated his shoulders, staring down at her menacingly. "No wonder they want you so desperately."

Scarlett could feel Nathan staring from her to Scott and back again. She couldn't say anything, it would only be feeding into the bullshit. The only thing that really got on her nerves was that Nathan could hear every word of it, Nathan would have to know the truth after this. She'd done her best to keep him from being involved but even her best had been a failure.

"Nothing to say? Not even a word?"

"Not much for bullshit. Never was." Scarlett finally spoke, but quietly and refused to take her eyes off of Scott. With a scream of anger Scott ran toward her, his feet falling so heavily that the stage shook. Scarlett waited, breathed, counted and when Scott came close enough, flipped out of the way. As he stopped short toward her, she swung at him hard again in the face. When he reached for her she grabbed his arm and swung him so hard around that he flew out of her arms, off of the stage and crashed into the seats in the orchestra pit. 

Scarlett stumbled from the momentum, her breathing caught in her throat. It felt stuck there, like she couldn't inhale or exhale and so she coughed. Her chest ached, she saw stars in her vision but still she kept her best eye on the seats where she'd thrown Scott. Even if there was an ambush waiting for her outside of the stage exit she would risk it. Clearing her throat, Scarlett spit something vile to the side and then slid across the stage and retrieved her gun then aimed toward the seats.

As he popped up from between them with a roar of anger and a mighty jump, Scarlett shot him twice in the chest. The bullets crashed against body armor but he fell back between the seats anyway. One quick look around the theater she saw four of the eight MedCo agents who had come in with Scott. That left four uncounted for, probably backstage, but none that she could see were focused on her. They must have had orders to minimize interference between her and Scott or to wait until she exited to take her down.

Scarlett could handle four MedCo agents. 

But why weren't they just taking her down? There were more than enough Agents swarming the building, in the confusion they could have had her. MedCo was keeping her busy. Yes, there was likely an ambush or something outside for her, but they wanted her inside the theater. Scott had even seemed desperate to keep her there. Hell, he wasn't even _armed_. One simple shot to even her leg, her shoulder, anywhere would put her down for the count. They were letting her pump lead into Scott. There was something more going on, something worse. Scarlett wasn't sure what _could_ be worse.

She aimed her weapon as Scott scrambled back to his feet, stumbling in the aisles and having to steady himself on the chairs. He grunted and Scarlett backed up, spotted Nathan who stood ready behind her instead of actually escaping as she had hoped. Now she was grateful for his stubbornness. With a growl, Scott pulled hard at the chair he was leaning on and the metal creaked, groaned and then ripped right off of the floor. As he turned, he threw the chair, it clattered across the stage and Scarlett rolled narrowly out of the way.

Then he threw another and this time he threw it at Nathan. Scarlett ran toward him and jumped, tackling him out of the way just in time. Pulling him to his feet, she dragged him across the stage, behind one of the set pieces.

"You've got to go, you've got to go, cover your face, get out through the front door. Okay?" Scarlett hissed. "Get a cloak or something stupid and pull it over your face and go! Just go!"

"No, I'm not going to leave you here!" Nathan whispered in return, his eyes wide. "That man is crazy! He's going to kill you!"

"You are being used as bait for me, okay? The longer you stick around the more danger I'm in!" Scarlett stomped her foot in frustration. "He knows I will try to protect you!"

"I want to protect _you!_ I don't care what kind of trouble you're in…" Nathan whispered.

"God, this is not the time! I get it, noble, sweet, so very British, now go! You've got to go! I can protect myself but I can't do that if I also have to protect you." 

"Fine! Fine." Nathan whispered under his breath. "But you have to promise me you're not going to let this monster catch you."

"I promise, now go!" 

A chair crashed through the set piece, splintering it to pieces. Scarlett pulled Nathan out of the way, rolling into plain view. Nathan was cursing, lying face down. Scarlett caught sight of one of the damaged stage lights hanging above and saw Scott walking menacingly toward them. With her last two bullets Scarlett aimed at the stage lighting above, at the already split metal and gritting her teeth she fired. There was a terrible clattering of metal on the first shot and then a groan with the second and at last the lights fell and crashed right on top of Scott, knocking him to the ground.

She ejected the magazine of her gun, shoved it into her belt and then pressed against the earpiece. At once it came to life, she could hear Jinx screaming through it to several other agents receiving orders.

"I know shit is probably crazy out there but I need help!" Scarlett felt her heart pounding practically through the walls of her chest. "It's an ambush. They were waiting for me. This whole thing was never meant to be a real threat on the theater, they were just trying to lure me into their clutches and we fed right into it when we thought we were luring _them_ out!" Scarlett didn't care who answered, she needed someone to know the truth so S.H.I.E.L.D. could react accordingly.

"What?" Jinx's panic was rich in her voice. "There are explosions everywhere, of course it's a credible threat. We have uncovered five different explosive devices all around the theater district, Scarlett…"

"I know! I know, but they did this on purpose. It's all a distraction tactic, Jinx."

"Well, it's working!" Jinx tapped away at her computer and then got up from her station. Scarlett was on her radar, she'd done nothing but keep an eye on her but once there had been an explosion just outside their safe house she had lost sight of her. The NYPD had shown up quickly, they'd helped with evacuations but in the attempts had discovered explosive devices all counting down and so now there was a mass effort to try and disarm them. The media was already spinning this as a terrorist attack, blaming folks in the Middle East for it but the truth was far from it.

"Jinx, I need backup."

"I'll send it when I can." Jinx whispered, her head swimming. "Team Four, what's your status? You are supposed to check in every forty seconds to let me know…"

"Scott is here! Scott is here, Jinx! I need backup!" Scarlett shouted over the earpiece, which made Jinx lean away even though there was no escape from the sound. For a moment Jinx swore she was going to fall over.

"What? What do you mean he's here? He's _actually_ here?" Jinx mouthed and for a moment she thought _she_ was going to have a panic attack. "We aren't prepared for this."

"Well, get prepared! I need backup!" Scarlett was getting angrier by the moment and in the back of her thoughts, Jinx thought she heard fear in her voice. That was right, Scarlett hadn't been well, she had to send her backup, but there weren't many people left. Just then the door opened and Mickey walked through, looking weary, her hair a mess, dirt on her face.

"We're making progress, Jinx. The evacuation is looking good, even if those bombs go off in the worst case scenario there will be minimal cost to innocent life."

"Mickey! Mickey! You handle this, change your signal to Scarlett's!" Jinx threw a radio at Mickey who barely caught it and just in time.

"What?"

"Scott is here, Scott is in the theater and it's all a big setup and we walked right into their hands. I told you I had a bad feeling but no one listened to me! No one ever listens to me! What is the point of having me around if you never listen to me?"

"Calm down, Jinx, grace under pressure remember?"

"Easy for you to say, you aren't trying to explain how to disarm a complex series of explosives that you can't even see." Jinx turned back to the computer. "Do you have this, or not?"

"I have this!" Mickey dropped the radio and changed the frequency on her earpiece. She'd been in charge of the evacuation, she hadn't been listening to the inside of the theater. Every ten minutes she was to scan through frequencies but hadn't heard any sort of panic. Yes, there was the obvious panic, but it was all fairly organized thus far. "Miss Damien?"

"Scott is in the theater and I need a much, much bigger gun if you could bring one!" Scarlett cursed and there was a crash on the radio and a shriek from someone else on Scarlett's end.

"A bigger gun?" Mickey walked outside of the café and then saw a group of Agents arriving, exiting a van and called to them. "You, all of you! With me. Weapons ready, body armor, now! You have fifteen seconds!" 

"He's basically eating my ammo, fired a whole clip into the bastard." Scarlett shouted. "Are you coming or not? I'm going to have to get creative if you don't."

"I need half your team!" Jinx leaned out of the doorway and then snapped her fingers. "Found another device. You six, sending you coordinates right now!" Jinx ran back inside, nearly tripping over her own two feet before heading back to the series of computers set up at the far end of the café.

"I'll be there as quick as I can." Mickey nodded and pointed to the six remaining S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents at her disposal, all holding their weapons at the ready and dressed as she had asked. "Scarlett?" There was no response and Mickey nodded her head and then pulled a helmet on to protect herself. "Follow me." 

Mickey led the team in through the front doors, one of the only they'd secured with S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents. There were several fights along the way but Mickey led her team at a run, toward the hallway backstage and onto it. They met no resistance along the way, and Mickey was nervous. She hadn't seen or heard from Natasha since she called the evacuation.

"I need to hear you, Scarlett!" Mickey shouted into the earpiece but got nothing in response. She checked her phone for the layout again. A message from Jinx appeared, pinpointing Scarlett's location via the GPS in her earpiece. She was on the stage, there was a lot of erratic movement. Mickey signaled to her six Agents to split up and cover her left and right and she started onto the stage, holding shotgun at the ready. There was a crash on the stage. Only a few of the lights were left, flickering, and the other half were twisted and broken on the ground along with half of the elaborate set. "Scarlett!"

A crash interrupted her second call for Scarlett and Scott came crashing through one of the last upright set pieces. Scarlett was close behind him, running with Nathan at her side. The curtain began to fall from the sides of the stage, billowing as it fell and they narrowly managed to get out of the way of it. Scarlett pushed Nathan aside and turned to face Scott who leapt toward her.

She fell onto her stomach and rolled onto her back as Scott tackled her. But she braced his torso with her feet and then kicked him hard up and over her head before rolling onto her feet and jumping toward Mickey. Scarlett grabbed Nathan again and watched as Mickey's team of six S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents surrounded Scott before he could even get to his feet.

"I unloaded my weapon into this asshole! He's still kicking!" Scarlett reloaded her gun at last, her hands shaking from the adrenaline.

"Stay where you are, Aaronson!" Mickey aimed her shotgun at the ready toward where Scott was now lumbering to his feet. Scarlett backed away slowly, making sure Nathan was close behind her. 

Something told her that detaining Scott wasn't going to be that simple.


	31. First Blood

"Funny, I didn't think you'd run to big brother so quickly for help." Scott growled, catching his breath where he stood and glaring around at the S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents surrounding him. "Never took you for the type to sell out."

"Fuck off." Scarlett coughed, collecting herself at last, preparing for his next move. The S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents were slowly moving in around Scott, preparing to detain him but Scarlett knew it wasn't over, she knew it. There was no way that those other MedCo Agents weren't waiting in the wings. "Pierce I counted eight as his backup earlier and they are unaccounted for."

"Five were detained." Mickey didn't take her eyes away from Scott. "Three are being pursued. We've had teams in and out of here the whole time, trying to get it under control."

"Where's Natasha?" Scarlett whispered.

"Don't know, have to ask Jinx."

"Since you've proven yourself still… quite talented." Scott began, his voice at first gurgling before he cleared his throat. His breath was ragged, blood dripped down his face. Scarlett didn't see an ounce left of the man who had nervously asked her out on a date, who she had rejected until he'd worn her down. "I'll offer you one last chance to come with me peacefully. No one else will die for you. We get what we want and you… well, you don't watch everyone die around you until you choke on your own blood." Scott held his hand out to her. "I give you my word." His blood dripped to the floor of the stage, his fingers twitched eagerly.

"I liked you better when you were dead." Scarlett responded quietly. She could end it all there with one word. Scott was right. People were suffering because of her. No one else would have to if she turned herself in. That would be until MedCo did whatever they were planning to do with her. If they could turn Scott into this sort of a monster then what would they do to her? She would be used as a weapon in their hands one way or another. Either her technology, her intelligence, or her brawn would be theirs. 

With a curt nod, Mickey signaled for her team to close in and take Scott and he allowed them closer.

"He's going to do something." Scarlett whispered to Mickey who ignored her warning. Just as one of the men reached to grab Scott's bloodied arm, Scott turned on him and lifted him clear off the ground then swung him around and knocked down three of his fellow S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents.

"Take him down! Now!" Mickey urged Scarlett and Nathan to stay behind her, thinking that Scott would go after them next but he didn't.

Scott then pounced onto another Agent. The final S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent leapt onto Scott's back but Scott threw him off easily, launching him into the theater seats. Taking one final look back at Scarlett, Scott turned and ran backstage, past the chaos he'd created. There was a crash, then a clatter as he burst through the wall and onto the streets of Manhattan.

"Go! Go after him! Don't let him get away!" Mickey ordered and the six Agents were at once back on their feet and in pursuit of their target. She turned to face Scarlett and Nathan quickly. "Are you both all right?"

"We're fine! Go get him!" Nathan shouted, his ears ringing.

"Take Nathan somewhere safe." Scarlett nodded and looked behind her in search of the other MedCo Agents. She had underestimated S.H.I.E.L.D. strength and had to say that while she wasn't impressed, she wasn't disappointed either.

"What about you? You should be coming with me!" Nathan grabbed her arm and turned her to look at him.

"He's right. You're the target now."

"Tasha's in trouble. She radioed for me after the evac order, I didn't get to respond." Scarlett looked to Mickey seriously. The younger S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent knew that arguing with Scarlett would be pointless so instead she reached into her holster and handed her a pistol and several magazines.

"I hope you won't need them." Mickey sighed but Scarlett was relieved and took the gun and ammunition gratefully. "Keep your earpiece on. If I order Agents out that means you too."

"Fine." Scarlett nodded.

"No! That madman is after _you_ Scarlett, you should not be going after anyone! Come with me to safety."

"Not going to do that." Scarlett shook her head. "Go with Agent Pierce, she'll take good care of you."

"But…"

"We can talk later, right now I've got to go. You got this Pierce?"

"Go give 'em hell." Mickey nodded and then spoke quietly to Nathan to try and console him and assure him that Scarlett had everything under control. Scarlett walked away without turning back and checked her phone as she walked, wary of those around her. There were very few people left in the theater, mostly S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents securing each floor as they went. According to her phone she could see where Natasha was now. 

The attic.

She wouldn't radio her friend, that would give her away. Instead she'd sneak through an old entrance that had been abandoned during renovations years prior. It was likely blocked up with furniture and the like but Scarlett figured it would be more subtle than bursting in through the main entryway guns blazing. 

All was quiet on the top floor of the theater, not a soul to be seen. Not until she got to the main hallway at least. There were MedCo Agents standing guard near the stairway that would take her to the attic, just as she had suspected. Scarlett checked her phone again, leaning against the wall. Through her earpiece she could hear Mickey leading the pursuit of Scott and any of the remaining MedCo teams, she could hear Jinx dealing with the aftermath of another explosion. Apparently the bomb squad wasn't doing such a good job containing the chaos. 

As much of a nasty thought as it was, Scarlett was partially grateful for the explosions. They would draw attention away from her, away from the theater. Scarlett had known, just by the sound of Natasha's voice over the radio earlier that something bad had happened. Natasha, however, could handle herself more than anyone knew. Scarlett had faith in her friend and while she wasn't so sure that faith was mutual, she had it nonetheless.

The less interference the better. She'd been surprised Mickey had allowed her to go after Natasha alone. Did the S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent have that much faith in her? Or maybe it was in Natasha where her faith lay. Either way, it only aided Scarlett. No more Nathan to worry about, hopefully no more Scott. With any luck Mickey would catch him and bring him in. For a hot minute she'd thought about being the one to chase him but that was just what he wanted.

He'd lead her somewhere isolated and then take her wherever he pleased. It was clear she couldn't just shoot him and take him down. Even if she _had_ caught him Scarlett wasn't fool enough to think she was equipped to contain him. She was still susceptible to bullets, as far as she knew. It wasn't the poison that made Scott what he was, it was whatever MedCo had done to counteract it.

The old entrance to the attic was blocked off, but not well enough that it was unusable. It had been boarded over when they'd done renovations but it appeared as though no one had ever finished the job. Scarlett tugged at one or two of the boards and when they gave just enough she set to work pulling them apart. The nails gave way, time having made them weak and laziness from whoever had done the job making them poorly hammered. 

When enough of the door was free, Scarlett tried the knob. Locked, but not for long. Checking around the corners to make sure that no one was around, Scarlett retrieved the nails from the boards and, deciding they were thin enough to work, set about picking the lock. It took only a few seconds to unlock it. Pocketing the nails for later use she climbed between the remaining boards and through the doors.

It was dark in the attic, but she could see light past a stack of sheet covered furniture and mountains of boxes. As Scarlett crept further through the dusty mess, making her way cautiously toward the light, she listened and heard voices. They didn't belong to Natasha, no, Scarlett recognized the voice of one Marcia Edmonton, one of the three heads of MedCo. The uptight old bitch. That meant she had to have a team with her for protection. Marcia was not a fighter, at least not when Scarlett had last seen her. She guessed the woman too vain to risk her appearance by allowing her own company to experiment on her. 

Creeping ever closer, Scarlett remained in the shadows and kept as quiet as she could. There was blood splattered on the woodwork, and from the looks of it, most of it was from Natasha. She was on her knees, held by each arm at her side with one Agent behind her holding a gun to her head. Scarlett crept around the room, staying a good distance away, but close enough that she could get a proper headcount. Excluding Marcia she counted eight assailants.

Returning to the far end of the room behind Marcia, Scarlett pulled her phone up and ignored the messages on the screen. Instead she tapped inside the interface and held it up in front of her. It took a few agonizing seconds, but with a scan of the room she was able to find two more MedCo Agents that had escaped her wary gaze.

That made ten Agents excluding Marcia who was less of a threat than the others in Scarlett's eyes. 

"She's not coming. Did you _really_ call for her? Or are you pulling my leg? Let's hope you aren't dumb enough to try that." Marcia hissed, holding the radio in front of her again. "Call to your friend, tell her to meet you here and then we will let you go." Natasha stared up at Marcia, her left eye burning from dripping blood but said nothing. "If you do not do as you are told you will lose something important to you!" Marcia gestured to one of the agents next to her who opened a small case and showed a set of menacing looking tools. "We'll start with your fingers. One at a time, very slowly. We are not afraid to sacrifice you for what we need so I suggest you decide whether or not she is worth your life."

Scarlett crept closer and felt her phone buzz. Chancing a look she saw a message from Jinx. When she opened it, much to her surprise it took over her entire phone. The layout of the attic was rendered in real time, heat signatures and all. Highlighted at the far corner of the room was an old electrical box. It looked like the power had been rerouted from there to another for convenience near the new entrance but Scarlett would still be able to control it from the original box.

Slowly Scarlett crept around the furniture and slipped into plain view for but a second. The only one who would notice she was there would be Natasha, who was aware of everything around her. The S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent had always known she was coming, it was why she would never bother calling a second time. She wasn't stupid, neither woman was and that was where MedCo underestimated them both. Neither had a death wish, but neither expected to die in that attic either. Natasha wasn't one to bargain for her life with anyone. 

When Natasha finally caught her eye she turned her gaze at once away from Scarlett's and back to the MedCo Agents. Scarlett gestured toward the lights above her and Natasha understood at once and turned her attention back to Marcia.

"Alright." She finally spoke and Marcia brightened up.

"Speak nice and clearly so Scarlett can hear you, darling." Marcia hissed menacingly. "Remember, if you tip her off you're toast."

"No, I meant the torture. Let's do this. Just leave my middle finger, it's very important to me."

Scarlett caught sight of something mechanical behind Marcia and cursed under her breath. There was a big ass bomb. The threat wasn't just smoke being blown up their asses after all. She guessed that no one was setting that thing off with Marcia still inside the building though, so if she never got out there was a chance the bomb would never be triggered to go off. Ten men and the head of MedCo. Those weren't great odds. Not terrible, but not great either. With the lights off? Better odds.

Marcia smacked Natasha hard with the butt end of her gun right across the face. Blood splattered onto the floor and Natasha laughed it off.

"You hit much harder than I thought you would for your age." Natasha sounded impressed but Marcia then placed the barrel against her forehead.

"Call your friend or there is no use for you." Marcia threatened. Natasha stared up at the woman and counted seconds down in her mind. Like clockwork, the lights snapped off all at once, all throughout the building. "What was that? What just happened?" Marcia shouted to her men, each who triggered flashlights built into their body armor.

The man on Natasha's left was pulled suddenly backwards and he screamed in agony as Scarlett dragged him away, snapped his arm out of place once, and then broke the bone before throwing him hard enough on the ground to knock him unconscious. Arm free, Natasha flipped around the man on her right. A shot rang past Natasha as Marcia fired her gun but it was too late. The bullet pierced nothing but air and two more were fired but all missed their target in the darkness. 

"My _friend_ was already here." Natasha smirked as she kicked the gun out of the hand of the man behind her and then jumped on the back of the man who had held her down, pulling free wires from her belt to wrap around his neck until finally he fell unconscious on the ground at her feet.

"Get them, get them!" Marcia stepped back and hurried over to the bomb, tapping away at the interface. "Don't let them get away!"

"Are you all right?" Scarlett hurried to Natasha's side, ready for any of the men who came at them. In the darkness they had a distinct advantage of knowing when to and when not to move. MedCo would come for them and when they did, they would be oriented and ready for battle.

"The old bitch packs a surprising punch." Natasha rubbed her jaw and then stood at Scarlett's back. "Nothing I can't handle. Where's our backup?"

"I am backup, sweetie. Half of your men on the ground are dealing with explosions, the others are after Scott. It's a mad house."

"Scott's here?" Natasha grabbed Scarlett's arm and so Scarlett ducked low. Natasha rolled over Scarlett's back and kicked the man hurrying toward Scarlett hard in the face. Scarlett grabbed her arm and pulled Natasha low, snapped one of the electrical devices off of her wrist and then electrocuted him into submission.

"We can talk about that later." Scarlett nodded before ducking out of the way of her attacker. "On your left!" With a shove she pushed Natasha out of the way of a man who had very cleverly turned off his flashlight to try and avoid detection. Natasha turned and slid between the legs of the man nearest her, then spun around and like the spider of her namesake climbed on his back and wrapped herself so hard around his throat and his chest that after some minor struggling he fell unconscious.

Scarlett blocked the man who had turned off his flashlight as he swung at her and ducked before delivering a hard blow to his stomach and kicking him in the knee. He stumbled but then withdrew a blade and swung at Scarlett before he'd even gotten up, much to her surprise. The blade slashed her side and she felt the sting and then the blood immediately but there was no time for it. She kicked his hand away as he swung at her again. Much to her surprise he didn't let go of the blade so she kicked him again, then spun and kicked him hard enough to knock him down.

Scarlett stomped hard on his wrist, pressing her weight on it until he was forced to let go of the blade which she then retrieved, turned and stabbed right into his shoulder. He screamed behind his mask and so she knocked him hard in the neck, where he fell unconscious.

Standing up she pulled her jacket closed, blocking the wound from view. Out of sight, out of mind. It could be dealt with later. The woman coming at her was screaming obscenities and Scarlett stepped out of her way with ease, grabbed her arm and swung her around into one of the support beams. As she stumbled back, Scarlett used the butt end of her gun, swung at the mask she wore and it shattered, breaking the nose of the woman beneath it.

She held her face in agony, cursing in Russian. Scarlett holstered her weapon, grabbed the woman and tossed her toward Natasha who kicked her to the ground and knelt on her throat until she fell unconscious.

"Take Scarlett but kill the spare!" Marcia shouted over the chaos and confusion in the attic. They were shouting to each other in Russian, ordering them to tactically take the women out. 

"Do you hear that Scarlett? I'm the spare!" Natasha chuckled, but then ducked as another man came for her. But another grabbed her leg and pulled her aside. She clattered to the floor but quickly regained her composure.

"I've heard you called a great many names but the _spare_ might be the lowest." Scarlett knocked another man back only to be grabbed from behind by another. Natasha kicked the face of her attacker, spun low and smashed her foot into the back of his head again before tackling him to the ground.

Another man came running at Scarlett, speaking in Russian.

"He's going to try to knock you out, Scarlett!" Natasha hissed over the chaos. "He called you something very nasty on top of that!"

"That routine is getting old." Scarlett grunted, the pressure around her neck not enough to knock her out as she forced herself backward in the arms of the man who was holding her. She elbowed him hard to knock him forward then grabbed onto the arms around her and as the man rushing her grew ever closer Scarlett kicked him in the face, then placed her feet on his chest and with a shout kicked off of him. The grip around her throat loosened and she jumped over her attacker's head.

Natasha grabbed one of the men and threw him to the ground, electrocuting him until he was subdued. Then she grabbed the second and threw him with such strength that he smashed into the wall with a sickening thud.

"Wow, nice throw."

"Thanks. Was that all of them?" Natasha turned to her friend, wiping the blood from her jaw. "I counted ten but I was seeing double for a bit there."

"Where's the old bitch?" Scarlett hurried toward the device blinking in the darkness, counting down to explosion. "Damnit, we have to hurry. There's not much time left on this thing. God, it looks familiar… is it possible it's familiar?" She muttered under her breath, following wires with her fingertips daintily. "Shit…"

"Edmonton must have fled." Natasha was counting off enemies in her head but then stopped in her tracks when she felt the cold metal barrel pressed against the back of her neck. "Never mind. Found her. Very quiet for her age."

"Game over, ladies." Marcia spoke and smacked Natasha hard in the back of the head with the gun and she felt her knees buckle. "Move closer to your friend!"

"Fine, fine." Natasha grumbled. The woman was oddly quiet, oddly fast. Everything about these MedCo assassins seemed odd. Not enough so that it had alarmed her, not until now. Natasha had to wonder if they were designed more than trained. It sent a chill down her spine.

"Miss Damien, if you surrender then I'll only shoot your friend in the shoulder instead of her head." Marcia threatened. Scarlett turned away from the bomb, trying to run the schematics over in her mind. She had to stop thinking about how to disarm it and instead had to give Natasha a way out. For some reason she was struggling switching focus. Even in her mind's eyes she saw the damn bomb, inside and out.

If Natasha could grab the gun she already would have subdued her attacker. Marcia was standing just far enough away to keep Natasha from knocking her over, she had learned from her previous errors. Scarlett could shoot Marcia but not without risking that Marcia would also shoot Natasha. 

"Don't do anything she says." Natasha spoke nervously when it seemed Scarlett was actually tossing the idea over in her mind. Scarlett cautiously stepped closer, holding up her hands defensively.

"Don't do anything rash."

"Give up or I'll kill her!" Marcia spat in anger.

"Not really my style."

"The more you fight the more people die in your name. How much blood do you want on your hands?"

"Yeah, I'm sure you'll stop killing people if I give up too. Not the best argument you have there."

"We need you! You belong to _us_!" Marcia's rage was out of control, her face red as she stomped her foot. Natasha seized opportunity as Marcia adjusted herself and tilted her head out of the way before sliding around and grabbing Marcia around the middle, knocking her onto the ground. The wind was knocked out of her and the woman coughed and gagged. Scarlett hurried closer and kicked the gun out of Marcia's hand and then far enough away that it couldn't be retrieved.

"You see, Natasha's never been very good at sharing her friends." Scarlett stepped away from Natasha who turned Marcia hard onto her stomach and smashed her face into the ground.

"You are mistaken, Miss Damien, if you think you are anything more than S.H.I.E.L.D. property to any of them." Marcia shouted, trying to struggle against Natasha's hands. Natasha shoved her hard against the ground again to shut her up. Scarlett knew Marcia was trying to manipulate her, but it was nothing she hadn't already thought over.

"You got this, Tasha?" Scarlett whispered.

"I do. You got this bomb? Or should we be running instead of talking?"

"I got it." Scarlett waved her hand to Natasha and then spoke over the earpiece. "Jinx, I could use some light." 

"I knew you'd like the idea. After the parking garage, it seemed like a good plan." Jinx responded over the radio and just like that the power came flickering back to life. 

"You see, the problem with you assholes stealing all of my ideas?" Scarlett crouched next to the device and ripped open a panel on the side, pulling out a bunch of wires there. She followed each of the wires from their source and destination. Once she found the ones connected to the power supply she ripped them loose. The countdown ceased and power to the bomb faded, rendering it useless. "You don't know which ideas I marked as failures." With a sigh of relief she leaned back. Thank god that had actually worked, for a few minutes there she wasn't sure if it was going to.

Scarlett hadn't designed many explosive devices in her time, it had never been her style. The ones she _had_ designed were usually meant for distraction. Cursing under her breath it occurred to her that was precisely what they had done all around Manhattan. Those were probably right from the journals Scott had been stealing from her for years. 

If it had occurred to her earlier she could have stopped further damage from being done. 

"Let's get out of here before we find any other secrets in the shadows." Natasha nodded toward the attic door and Scarlett agreed and followed along. On the way out of the building, Scarlett communicated with Jinx, telling her about the bomb she'd disarmed in the attic. A bomb squad rushed past Scarlett and Natasha on their way down as the escorted Marcia to the street where she would be detained by S.H.I.E.L.D. officials.

As they walked onto the street the scene was surreal. Teams of S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents were detaining people working for MedCo. There were sirens in the distance, far enough away that Scarlett couldn't see the officers that surely manned the blockades and kept civilians and press officials from the scene. With any luck no one would know Scarlett had ever been there. 

"All in all, I'd say this was a success." Natasha held Marcia's bound wrists securely. The older woman wasn't trying to get away anymore and merely hung her head in frustration and shame. Mickey led a team toward Natasha and Scarlett, a smile on her face as she saw them both safe, if not a little bloodied up.

"Yeah, okay." Scarlett scoffed. "We fell for MedCo's trap, Scott destroyed a beautiful theater, and this bitch held a gun to your head like six times." Scarlett rolled her eyes. "Speaking of Scott…" Scarlett looked to Mickey hopefully but when the younger Agent averted her eyes, Scarlett knew what the answer was. He'd gotten away.

"We chased him through the city but he was crazy fast. Doesn't look anything like we thought these days… what on earth did you do to him?" Mickey hunched over so she could look Marcia in the eye but all the woman did was glare. "Then there was this crazy explosion so we had to deal with that. We weren't going to catch him. Even if we did manage to get him onto the ground he threw around my men like they were nothing. We weren't prepared for him. Now we will be."

"At least we caught this one." Scarlett nodded. Knowing Scott was out there watching and probably waiting for them scared her more than anything else. If nothing had come of this, she knew one thing. Scarlett could still fight, in spite of what every doctor had told her thus far, of what S.H.I.E.L.D. had tried to convince her. There was still fight in her and even Scott couldn't overcome it. He may have been strengthened by MedCo and whatever experiments they'd performed on him to make him the monster he'd become but Scarlett had years of experience on her side.

"We'll get her to talk." Natasha nodded. "One way or another." She handed Marcia over to Mickey and then turned back once more to Scarlett. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I'm fine." Scarlett smiled a little. "Are you worried about me?"

"No." Natasha spoke defensively. "You did good in there. You looked good."

"I keep telling you how good I am but no one believes me."

"I'm glad to be wrong." Natasha patted her friend on the arm. "I've got to go make this crazy bitch talk." She turned away from Scarlett and ran to catch up with Marcia. Scarlett started away, pulling the radio from her ear and rubbing it. Those stupid little earpieces were so uncomfortable. From the corner of her eye she saw S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents bringing the bomb out in pieces, escorting fallen MedCo assassins into custody. Everything felt oddly surreal. Then there was a terrible loud crack, so loud it was like thunder.

"Sniper!" Scarlett ducked low and hid behind the nearest vehicle. "Sniper! Everyone take cover!" She shouted and everyone did. But the damage had already been done.

"She's been shot!" Natasha screamed and hurried over to the crumpled body of Marcia Edmonton where she now lay face down on the ground. 

"No!" Scarlett cursed, but was wary of anyone who could have fired the shot. There were already S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents on it, searching the area. Scarlett shoved the earpiece back in and could hear Jinx scanning for possible locations of the sniper.

"God damnit!" Natasha turned Marcia onto her back and placed her hand over the bullet hole in the woman's head. There was no way to stop the bleeding, the damage had already been done. Natasha pulled her hands away as she felt them burn, dropping Marcia's body onto the ground. The skin around the wound began to deteriorate, her blood bubbling and oozing, then foaming. Her entire body began to hiss and curl up horribly.

"Everyone back off! Back off!" Mickey grabbed Natasha's arm and pulled her a few feet from the body of the woman. "She's toxic! I need a quarantine, now!" 

"What?" Scarlett ran toward her friends but was stopped by a S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent who pulled her back. "What the hell? Natasha?" Try as she might, the other S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents wouldn't let her through. Before she could even try to reason with them that those were her friends and she needed to help make sure they were okay, a barrier was being built around them, plastic tarps were being put up to contain the body. A dozen S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents including Natasha and Mickey were inside the affected area.


	32. Safety

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, thanks for reading. :3 The next chapter is pretty violent, just a warning. And next week no chapter! I am finally going home.

Scarlett sat in front of the café that had served as a meeting ground for S.H.I.E.L.D. on a bench waiting to hear anything about those inside the quarantine. No one would give her any information no matter who she pestered. Jinx had been unavailable and all Scarlett got from her stupid earpiece was chatter about keeping the perimeter. Hell, Scarlett had even resorted to trying to call Nick Fury. Of course the Director of S.H.I.E.L.D. would never answer his phone and of course the number she had went straight to the person who made all his appointments.

There was no one to manipulate, no way to sneak in, nothing she could do. Doctors she recognized had been rushed past, but she hadn't seen them since and they didn't have a moment to spare for her.

Head in her hands, Scarlett cursed under her breath. Marcia had offered to let everyone go, to leave her friends alone if she had gone with her. Scott had done the same. Who was the real villain here? Scarlett had to keep reminding herself over and over that there was no promise that MedCo would have kept. They just wanted to get to her, to make her feel guilty. Marcia had even tried to remind her that she was a pawn on both sides of the fight. S.H.I.E.L.D. was using her as much as MedCo would. How many times had she had to argue with S.H.I.E.L.D. about using any of the technology she'd designed over the years?

Well the mental warfare was working, especially since her oldest friend was now potentially infected by a potentially deadly viral weapon.

Scarlett had been wrong to think that Marcia hadn't undergone some kind of testing just as Scott had. What a fool she had been to think that MedCo would let them take any of their higher ups in for questioning! They should have kept her in the building, kept her secure, then moved her under lock and key to a secure facility. Instead, they'd thought Scott had been on the run, thought they'd taken all the necessary precautions. MedCo had prepared for every possible outcome where S.H.I.E.L.D. had not.

Stealing a glance at the chaotic Manhattan streets Scarlett rubbed her hand over her jaw. She shouldn’t be here anymore. Scarlett had a thousand things to do. If she was going to keep any sort of cover she would have to get on her jet back to Malibu before anyone could speculate she had been involved. 

But she didn't want to leave yet, she wanted to make sure her friends were okay. Not for the first time since this had all started, she felt helpless. Useless. Tapping her foot, she sat upright and leaned her head back against the window. She had to get out of her head. It was bad news in there right now.

From the corner of her eye she saw someone seated against the back of an ambulance, holding a cup of coffee and looking very lost.

Nathan.

Scarlett had completely forgotten all about Nathan once she was sure that he'd been safe. As she stood, guilt nearly made her buckle over but she didn't allow it. Slowly she took deep breaths, but even then all she could hear in her head were accusations. It was her fault Natasha and Mickey were potentially infected with something terrible. Not to mention however many agents had been nearby. Toxic thoughts continued to race through her brain. Nathan's life would never be the same. He'd have to be guarded for the rest of his days, at least until MedCo was gone and that could be never at this point. Nathan was a hostage to Scarlett's lies.

She walked over to the ambulance and leaned against the back of it next to him. Honestly she had half expected him to be angry at her, to tell her to buzz off but instead he looked relieved to see her, even smiled. Scarlett didn't deserve such kindness from such a good man.

"Finally, a familiar face." He chuckled. "No one seems interested in any of my charm right now." Averting his eyes he shook his head. "Not that I can blame them. It seems like everything's gone terribly wrong."

"Are your friends okay?" Scarlett looked to him nervously. She very rarely got nervous, but at this point she really _did_ care about Nathan. Not that she ever wanted anything to do with him romantically, but she cared enough about him to put herself in harm's way. She'd learned quite a bit about her feelings toward people in the last hour.

"They are doing just fine. A few minor injuries here and there but it seems the worst damage was done out here on the streets of Manhattan." Nathan offered a weary but comforting smile. It was clear he didn't blame her for any of it even if she did. "They're monsters, all of them. Terrorist organizations, preying on the innocent."

"Look Nathan," Scarlett began nervously, "I'm really sorry."

"It's all right." Nathan smiled, much to her surprise. He was a far nicer man than she could have ever deserved. "At least it makes sense now. Well, a little."

"What does?"

"Why you kept shying away from me over and over… ignoring the obvious." Nathan shrugged it off. For someone who had nearly lost his life a handful of times that day, she was surprised that he was in such good spirits and so understanding. Scarlett hadn't given Nathan enough credit. "You're in some sort of trouble."

"Can you ever forgive me for putting you in harm's way?" Scarlett smiled a little, purposely avoiding answering the question. Nathan already knew way too much about what was going on. The less details he had the better.

"Hey," He whispered and took her hand comfortingly. "I would gladly put myself in harm's way for you, Scarlett. I chose to." He stared at her hopefully and Scarlett slowly pulled her hand back and averted her gaze. "Ah, yes." Nathan pulled his hand back and ran his hand nervously through his hair. "I see." It seemed to finally hit him. That Scarlett had shied away because she wasn't interested, not because she was trying to keep him out of harm's way. Those two things had gone hand in hand for awhile, but if Scarlett had wanted more she would have had more.

The silence was awkward, but there was no way Scarlett could have expected it to be anything more than that.

"I would fight for you, you know." Nathan finally cleared his throat and looked back to her. "I would fight tooth and nail for you. But you don't want me to fight for you, do you?" Scarlett stared at him in awe. After everything he'd seen, after the things that Scott had said, how could this honest, hard working man want anything to do with her? 

"You're right." Scarlett sighed. It was a relief to finally say it out loud. Nathan had been a good cover, but there was too much going on, she wasn't the woman she used to be and she wasn't quite sure who she was going to be in even a month's time, if she hadn't given into illness by then. "I never meant for any of this to happen, Nathan."

"Did you ever have any feelings for me?" For the first time, Nathan sounded hurt even though he didn't quite show that emotion on his face. "Or was it all for the cameras to keep all this in the dark?"

"Of course I care about you, Nathan." Scarlett stood and walked away from the ambulance then turned to him seriously. "You are amazing, honestly. Too good to be true!"

"If you're trying to make me feel better…"

"No, I'm being honest. You're so talented Nathan and so sweet and smart… if things for me weren't so crazy, so… complicated. God if things were different then maybe I could have actually been myself when I'm with you. I'm not allowed to do that right now." Scarlett spoke very quickly. This conversation was breaking her heart in a way. She was never in love with Nathan, she wasn't sure she ever could have been even if she'd allowed him to come close. But Nathan was a good guy and she never would have expected his friendship, his company, to have gotten him so knee deep in her shit. "You're a great friend, I couldn't ask for better."

"Friend." Nathan seemed to taste the word, smiled for a moment and even seemed to lose his composure. "I'm sorry, I'm still trying to wrap my mind around all this. Is your name even Scarlett?"

"Yes, I wasn't allowed anything else." Scarlett nodded but didn't explain further. "Almost everything is true. I didn't lie, I just didn't tell you everything and I can't still." She felt awkward and out of place. Nathan needed to be alone, she thought. He had to take time to process all the craziness he'd encountered that night. It took time to recover from that kind of trauma, at least for the average person. Scarlett needed a drink, she needed to hit something. Rage boiled through her. Very quickly she had gone from self loathing to hatred for Scott, for MedCo, for these assholes steamrolling her life. "I have to get out of here, okay? I need you to go home and I need you to take S.H.I.E.L.D. bodyguards with you until you're no longer in the line of fire." When he didn't respond, Scarlett turned away. She'd drop by Jinx to make sure that Nathan got the protection he needed.

"I can help you!" Nathan got up from where he stood and ran to her side. He grabbed her hand and turned her toward him. "If you are in too deep with something I can help you if you just let me. I can save you." Nathan was grasping at what little there was left there between them. He knew what Scarlett meant by go home, she meant to leave the country. It meant they would likely never see each other again.

"No one can help me now, Nathan. Go home." 

"What are you still not telling me?" He was frustrated, but also scared. After all Scarlett had put him through, the man still cared about her. Scarlett was astounded to say the least but for some reason this only succeeded in making her angrier. This wonderful man had gotten caught in her web and MedCo was willing to kill him to get to her. Nathan had done _nothing_ to deserve that. Scarlett picked up his hand and squeezed it gently without saying another word. "You're not going to tell me."

"No, I'm not." Scarlett nodded.

"I'm not going back home." Nathan sighed resolutely but smiled anyway as she began to object. "I will take the bodyguards Scarlett but I love Manhattan and I'm staying here. I don't let fear run my life." Scarlett gave a curt nod of understanding. "I'm not going to stop speaking with you either."

"That's just stupid." Scarlett narrowed her eyes at him.

"I wasn't simply chasing you to chase you, Scarlett." Nathan looked to her seriously. "You're a good friend whether or not you think you are and I don't abandon good friends." 

"It's not okay for you to be my friend right now." Scarlett pulled her hand back and stepped away from him, trying to make him just a little angrier at her.

"You should have thought of that before you befriended me." He smiled a little bit and then turned away from her. Scarlett watched him walk away, her chest tight, her stomach lurching. For a moment she was sure she was going to throw up but instead she turned and punched the air in frustration. Her ears were ringing, all she could hear over it was his footsteps as they walked away. Then something very unwelcome.

"Miss Damien!" A shrill, accented voice called from across the street.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me." Scarlett cursed under her breath as she turned to face Jemma Simmons. She was definitely not in the mood for whatever this would bring. Then again, maybe Jemma had news on her friends. It was unlikely since the doctor hadn't been present at the operation to begin with. Then again with the hundreds of things she was kept out of the loop from with S.H.I.E.L.D, there was no way she could have known if Fitz and Simmons had been waiting for her to collapse nearby or something.

"Are you doing okay?" Jemma turned to see Nathan walking away and speaking with a group of S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents closer to the quarantine zone. There was anxiety in her voice, as though she wasn't sure now was the very best time to talk to Scarlett. Scarlett looked manic, almost, to Jemma. Her eyes were wide and she was clenching her jaw. It looked like at any minute, Scarlett could explode.

"Fine." Scarlett took a deep breath and then cleared her throat. That cling was always there these days and today was no different. Despite how good she'd felt while fighting, the tightness in her chest was telling her she had more than overdone it. "How are Romanoff and Pierce?"

"What? Oh, oh yes I asked about them. They won't let me see them so I don't have much to report." Jemma nodded and when she saw the disappointment on Scarlett's face she immediately brightened up. "However I did glance at their blood work while the others were beginning decontamination and so far everything looks normal. Our guess is that Ms. Edmonton wasn't toxic long enough to do any damage to anyone else. It was likely a precaution they took to prevent S.H.I.E.L.D. taking any valuable prisoners."

"That's one hell of a precaution." Scarlett wondered for a terrifying moment if that was what would happen to her body when she died. Would she be infecting everyone else as her corpse rotted away in some hospital bed she would eventually be confined to? Scarlett would rather take a bullet any day. For a brief horrifying moment she saw herself crippled, unable to breathe on her own, grasping to life, very alone.

"Thankfully everyone was far enough away from her to do much damage. The only one with any fluid contamination was Natasha and a few people who took splatter from the initial blow. Still, all the numbers look good. The odds that they caught anything at all from the body are pretty slim." Jemma smiled encouragingly but Scarlett only scowled in return. "They just want to be safe, that's all."

"Right, because this whole thing was so well organized for everyone's safety." Scarlett snapped and turned away. It wasn't Jemma's fault the whole operation had gone sour. In fact, it was no one's fault but Scarlett's that anything had happened at all. If Scarlett had never approached S.H.I.E.L.D. she would have died alone in some hotel room and none of her friends would be infected with anything. MedCo wouldn't have gotten what they wanted, Scarlett would be dead, and no one would be hurting because of her. Instead, she'd been so damn selfish that she'd tried to save her own neck.

She'd told herself it had been to do some good with the time she had left, to try and stop MedCo, to leave some of her ideas behind to better the world, but in the end it had all been a ploy to save her life. Scarlett knew it wasn't her fault, she knew it deep down. She'd made bad decisions but not one of them had earned her a slow painful death. Scott was to blame, Scott's obsession, possession, his instability. Scarlett couldn't believe they'd lost their only lead, that Scott hadn't been detained. Nothing had been gained from this operation. Hell, they'd only suffered and Scarlett had lost one of the few friends she had left.

Nathan had said he'd wanted to remain her friend but that was way too dangerous now. Damnit, she'd meant to ask him where he'd learned to fight. The guy had boxed at some point in his life, that much she had been sure of. Now she'd never get to ask him, she'd have to hack into his college records to try and see if he'd done so then. How pathetic. Something good had to come of this. Where had MedCo gotten the supplies to build such complex bombs? Manhattan was one of the more secure cities, one of the more cautious cities.

Someone had to be helping them from within the city, someone that had taken Scarlett's ideas and built them into weapons for MedCo to send her a message. Scarlett didn't realize that her hands were shaking, that she was so angry she was trembling from head to toe. She had also very quickly forgotten where she was and that she was with Jemma Simmons. Scarlett had gotten so lost in her thoughts that she had disappeared for a few moments.

"Why don't you come inside with me? We can get you some help."

"I'm fine, I'm not going anywhere." Scarlett stepped away from Jemma and completely disregarded her wishes, her concerns. There were dozens of wicked people in the city, dozens of gangs and villains who could have helped MedCo. How could Scarlett narrow down the playing field? If MedCo wanted to send her a message she would send them one right back. She wasn't some S.H.I.E.L.D. puppet, she was a force to be reckoned with and they would be sorry they picked a fight with her.

"It's just a precaution. I think given the situation and the amount of stress your body is under, you should really…"

"I just said I was fine. What part of that was difficult to understand?" Scarlett spoke quietly.

"You should come with me to headquarters and we can see Percival. Maybe we can even take your treatment a bit earlier than usual. It will help to prevent anything the stress lets in. Your immune system is compromised these days and even the slightest…"

"I need you to quit babbling and leave me alone." Scarlett interrupted. Jemma hesitated but silenced and watched Scarlett sadly. There was that same damn pity that everyone else at S.H.I.E.L.D. had for her these days, that pity mixed with fear, probably a hint of resentment for getting them all involved. "I need to think, that's what I really need." 

"I know what that means for your type." Jemma spoke up, clearly against her better judgment. "You're not going to sit and think or stay alone ad take it easy. I know that you're going to _do_ something, Miss Damien and it's not a good idea. I can't allow you to put yourself under any more stress!"

"Look, Jemma, I agreed to _aid_ S.H.I.E.L.D. with all of this not be kept as a prisoner in some hospital room like a sick kid! If you want me to go in to see Percival then you better fucking arrest me because I am not going willingly!" 

"I'm worried about you!" Jemma pled, stepping into Scarlett's line of vision as she turned away. "You _are_ ill! Alright? You are very ill and I get that you are struggling coming to terms with that to the point of denial! But you…"

"You don't know a damn thing about what's going in my…"

"I know the woman you used to be, Scarlett! I know her, I saw her in those files, I saw her even today as you worked but you are not that woman anymore. You can't pretend to be! Do you really think you're going to be just fine after all of that? There are days where you can't function! And because adrenaline got you by today you think that you're invincible? You can't pretend there are no repercussions for your health anymore!"

"Don't you think I know that?" Scarlett grit her teeth.

"I don't think you do! You fight our decisions at every turn!"

"Because they are _stupid_ decisions."

"You are not a medical doctor!"

"And I know my own limits better than you!"

"You are sick!" Jemma shouted at her and Scarlett silenced. "You are weak. And you need our help." For a moment she thought she might have won the battle but Scarlett shook her head. Without another word, she turned away from Jemma and walked through the crowd of S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents where she disappeared from view. 


	33. Memory Lane

"This is exactly what they want." Scarlett whispered as she leaned against the wall near the café. S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents were still moving around left and right but no one paid her any mind. Scarlett walked into the café and grabbed a dark hat from the supply table and pulled it on, tucking her braid into the back of her jacket. Quickly she wiped any blood away from her face and checked her reflection quickly in the mirror.

MedCo was counting on her being afraid, counting on her acting to protect the people she cared about. They had counted on her being there that night even when S.H.I.E.L.D. had suspected they would think just the opposite. She'd gone into the building knowing she was bait, trusting S.H.I.E.L.D. intelligence to think that she would be unexpected.

Instead MedCo had known she'd come, they had known she'd come and they had set a trap for her with Scott. They'd set a trap for her with Natasha. And then when finally they'd overcome both of those obstacles, they'd killed Marcia, their only lead. If MedCo was willing to kill those who ran the damn company, then what lengths wouldn't they go to? They were going to die playing by the rules. Every one of them and Scarlett would have to watch helpless until finally that stupid poison killed her too. Either way, Scott seemed to be winning. 

They wanted Scarlett to lose control of her emotions, to feel broken, to blame herself. Every word they'd said tonight had been designed to play on her guilt. Was it so obvious to everyone how guilty she truly felt for dragging them down with her? She thought she'd hid it pretty well to everyone except for Jinx but god she must have stunk of it. Scarlett shoved her hands into her pockets for a moment and stared through the window of the café.

She had to _do_ something.

It had to be something MedCo didn't expect, something S.H.I.E.L.D. didn't dictate. She knew if she stuck around too long here in the safe zone someone from S.H.I.E.L.D. would force her to go see Dr. Ganter. He was nice enough, he meant well, but Scarlett didn't need a doctor, not now. She needed to blow off some steam and she needed to let MedCo know that they were messing with the wrong woman. 

They expected her to feel guilty, to be sick and shrink into herself. MedCo expected Scarlett to drive herself mad and eventually forfeit her free will to save her friends.

They didn't, however, expect her to get so damn angry.

For someone who had been living with Scarlett for years, Scott sure had forgotten about her relentless temper.

She wouldn't linger in the safe zone long enough for S.H.I.E.L.D. to send her to a doctor but she wouldn’t give up the fight yet either. The night was still young, there was time still yet to kill. She could catch a flight home to Malibu and by the time anyone figured out what she had done they wouldn't be able to pin it on her.

Scarlett pulled the thumb drive out of her pocket and turned it over in her hands. She had planned to give it back to Natasha. But now Natasha was quarantined and possibly on her way to death's door. Scarlett would do this for Natasha instead.

She walked behind the counter of the café to the laptop that Natasha had earlier abandoned. Placing her hands on the side of it she caressed the screen and then allowed it to come to life. Password protected, yeah like that would stop her. Scarlett didn't want S.H.I.E.L.D. records anyway, she simply wanted the USB port so she could read the drive. Snatching a wire from beneath the counter, Scarlett plugged her phone into computer and then easily, from the screen of her phone, overrode whatever encryption they had on the device so that she could use her phone as the primary input. Then she slipped the thumb drive in place and waited for it to load.

The data very quickly and easily copied onto her phone. Scarlett at once disconnected any link to S.H.I.E.L.D. that she may have had with Jinx or anyone else at that point. They wouldn't need to know what she was doing. So far listening to S.H.I.E.L.D. had done nothing but cause her aggravation and put Nathan in harm's way. Hands shaking, Scarlett disconnected her phone, pulled free the thumb drive and then left the computer as she had found it. Then she returned to the supply table, nodded to another S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent before taking a combat knife and some more ammunition for then gun Mickey had given her. 

Then she left the safe zone, hat pulled low to block her face. Slowly she walked the streets of Manhattan, blending in at street corners, ignoring conversation of the chaos that was blocking off the entire theater district. It was surprisingly crowded for a place that had just suffered a terrorist attack. 

Scarlett browsed the files on her phone. The encryption had been easy enough to get through, at least for her. Scarlett deftly weaved through groups of pedestrians, through crowds and stopped near a hot dog stand already crowded by people, ignoring the offer for food from the man behind the stand, holding her hand up to deny him.

It was a list of contacts. Simple enough until she read further on underneath each contact. It was a web of contacts, an extensive web listed by country and then city. Each contact had a number and a location and the supposed connection they had with MedCo. There were hundreds, maybe thousands of organizations, dangerous organizations that had gotten into bed with MedCo one way or another. For what felt like forever Scarlett read name after name of company, gang, terrorist cell, that had worked with MedCo and to what capacity, whether it was confirmed or suspected. This had to be a list obtained by Clint under cover. 

Scarlett felt queasy, for a moment she thought she could collapse so she leaned against the stone wall of the building behind her and took slow deep breaths, holding her phone still in front of her face to divert curious passersby. The cough was building up again in her chest, it hadn't bothered her as much as she had thought it would that night. This was a different cling though, this was anxiety. Did MedCo really have roots that ran this deeply? How would anything she did ever make a dent in such an organization? Still it would be a failure if she didn't try. If she could at least collapse the corporation at its core then that would be the end.

She wanted to send a message, that was right. It was all she needed to do. MedCo needed to know that they hadn't won that night. If they took away the only source they'd obtained that night, Scarlett would find another. She'd thought about it. MedCo wouldn't want to be detected until they were already underway with their attacks. She could only imagine what the news media was reporting about the attacks. Scarlett flipped through the list again until she got to Manhattan.

Someone had to have supplied them with guns, with knives, with the means to create the bombs that had distracted S.H.I.E.L.D. and the one that posed the worst threat in the attic. Someone had to supply them with body armor. There were a number of names in Manhattan, to which Scarlett wasn't surprised. The city was relatively safe but it was so populated that these groups could easily hide within the abundance of people.

She would go to the closest contact. There would be no hesitation. It didn't matter whether or not they were involved, Scarlett didn't care. They worked with MedCo, the likelihood that they had supplied them with weapons and explosives was pretty great. It would send a message, that was for damn sure. Someone was going to pay for what had happened tonight and every time they did something like that someone else would continue to pay. 

Finally able to take deep breaths, she released the tension in her shoulders, in her neck. This was what she did best, she had to remind herself of that. For awhile she'd gotten comfortable being Scarlett, CEO of Refuge, leader of the technological community. But tonight she would go back to her roots and she would finally mark a win in her corner. The last thing Scarlett did was check the map of the subway system before she put her phone on mute and shoved it in her pocket.

Then she walked down the street and into the subway station. The ride in the subway car was a big blur for Scarlett. Before she knew it she was walking down the streets of Manhattan, then standing in front of the building known to be a hideout for a terrorist cell. She'd done some of the reading on the files she'd stolen from Natasha on the ride over, or she thought she did. Either way she knew now that they were notorious for weapons smuggling and apparently had some kind of deal with people who worked in US Customs so they could smuggle weapons in freighters. 

She circled the old warehouse. It looked abandoned from the front steps but as she walked around the sides she could hear voices, maybe a handful of them through the window. That was all she needed to know. There were people in there, they wanted it to look like there wasn't. If she walked inside and no one knew what she was talking about she would march right back out like she'd never been there.

But deep down Scarlett knew they were in there. These men, these women had supplied Scott with weapons, had helped him get to her, to chase her, to hurt innocent people. Never again. They'd made the calculated choice to help those who had no other intention than to cause harm and they would pay the price.

Never once before had Scarlett had to justify what she was about to do. It went to show what a changed woman she'd become. The job had been her reason, whoever had hired her had been the reason. Today there was a different reason.

She could have crept in silently, she could spend the next hour listening and deciphering how many people were inside the warehouse. But she didn't want to. 

"Fuck it." She walked to the front door of the building and knocked. It was all or nothing now.

The door creaked open and a man's face appeared. He took one look at her and decided she was harmless and opened the door wider. His mistake.

With a swift punch Scarlett broke the man's nose and he stumbled backwards in alarm, cursing under his breath. He reached for a radio on his belt but Scarlett had a gun at once aimed at his chest.

"What is it you want?" His Russian accent was light but was still there. Scarlett clenched her jaw and kept her hat low. 

"How'd the job for MedCo go down tonight?" Scarlett watched his face and saw recognition of the name at once. From the corner of her eye she caught his hand reaching toward the holster on his hip. Artfully Scarlett pulled the knife from beneath her jacket where she'd hid it and stabbed the blade as deep as it would go into his shoulder. He shouted in pain and hunched over to try and grab the blade and pull it free.

Around the corner to her left another man came, rushing. As he pulled his gun, Scarlett turned hers and shot him in the foot. He stumbled and leaned against the wall but aimed his weapon so Scarlett shot him in the head and he collapsed in a bloodied heap against the wall.

"God damnit…" The man in front of her pulled the knife free of his shoulder with a grunt and then turned the blade in his hand and rushed toward her sloppily. Scarlett dodged easily, clicked her tongue in disapproval and then smashed her fist hard against the bloodied wound on his shoulder. He howled and dropped the knife as Scarlett shoved him against the wall.

"Who was your contact for the MedCo job?" She repeated. The look in his eyes told her all she needed to know.

"You bitch…"

"You're wasting my time." Scarlett interrupted him and shoved him to the side then shot him once in the chest and once in the head. Crouching down Scarlett searched his pockets for anything, a piece of paper, any sort of clue to communication with MedCo that she could deliver to S.H.I.E.L.D. Scarlett retrieved the knife, wiping the blood on his jacket.

"Freeze!" A voice behind her startled her. "What are you doing? Who are you?" Scarlett turned and as the woman reached for the radio on her hip Scarlett shot her twice in the chest and she fell back in a heap. In the hallway to the right there was a commotion at the sight of the body falling. Scarlett stood and walked away from the body she'd been inspecting, turning the corner to the left and leaning against the wall and waited in silence. Closing her eyes, Scarlett listened to the panic in Russian.

She recognized enough to know they were going to be put on alert, but that was alright. Over the radio there were two other calls. Not many people in the facility, likely. There was a chance someone else could have been making the call, but in a panic that wasn't how people operated. Footsteps drew closer, but stopped some distance away. They didn't know where they went. A quick glance around her told her they had security cameras. Watching them, she saw that some weren't in operation. Sloppy.

If they left, she'd lose the element of surprise. Right now they were making bad decisions. She could steal a glance, they'd see her that way. Also she could find out how many there were, that would be nice. So, Scarlett peeked around the corner, waited for them to spot her. Shots were fired, at the wall, through the wall. There were three, each armed. She ducked low enough to avoid the blows then rolled backward and waited again for footsteps. There was more yelling, this time in broken English.

"Check, see if she's there."

"I do not hear." 

As they drew close enough Scarlett was sure they'd be confused she turned the corner. Three men, one nearly within a foot of her, one further back by the body of their comrade, and one in the middle. Effortlessly she pulled the trigger and the man in the middle fell to the ground, his gun clattering across the ground then she shot again at the man farthest from her. He crouched to hold his wounded leg and Scarlett grabbed the man closest to her as he made to fire.

Twisting it around she slammed him face first against the wall, then she slammed his fist against the wall, repeatedly until he dropped the gun in his hand. Then she flipped him around to face her. He reached for her, sloppily, angrily, toward her neck to try and choke her. Scarlett forced her palm against his nose and he yelled in pain and anger and crouched forward, holding his now bloodied nose.

"You broke it!" He screamed, pulling his hand away and Scarlett slammed her palm back against his nose a second time.

"I sure did."

"I'll tell you nothing, you bitch!" He crouched onto the ground and held his nose in agony. If he wasn't going to give her information he was better off dead. Scarlett was never one for torture, it was too messy. Yes, it was true that when threatened with pain people often gave up their deepest and darkest secrets. Then again, they also said whatever they thought their aggressor wanted to hear to stop the pain. It was unpredictable and inhumane. Scarlett had found it never worked on her so she had only ever considered it a last resort.

Walking past him she fired two rounds into the back of his head. If he wasn't going to talk she had no use for him. People willing to talk did so almost immediately when threatened with a gun.

The third man was on the ground, holding his leg in agony. Scarlett walked over to him and as she did he cowered and fell back on the floor. Then he crawled away, and started toward the gun that he'd dropped when he'd been in such pain. Scarlett walked around him and stepped on his wrist before he could reach the gun. Still, he desperately grasped for it but failed.

Scarlett leaned down and looked to him very seriously.

"Who contacted you for the job in Manhattan tonight. Man? Woman? Where did the meeting go down? Here? Midtown?" She heard him curse in Russian and when he looked up at her she saw only malice.

Then he spit in her face so she stood upright, wiped her face and fired another shot that left him dead on the ground beneath her. Static came to life in the hand of the man behind her. Scarlett walked toward it and nudged the radio free. Russian, but some English.

"Knows what we did. We must run! S.H.I.E.L.D. is here for revenge!"

Huh, that was interesting. Scarlett had been sure they'd provided weapons for MedCo, had been sure they'd even built the bombs that night. Now she was almost sure that they were the hired guns who had protected MedCo and their leaders while they stormed the theater. This particular terrorist organization had been so far in bed with MedCo they were willing to kill themselves just to send a message. 

At least they wouldn't hurt anyone else. Not anymore. Scarlett stomped on the radio and the plastic casing cracked and fizzled, leaving only static ringing through the hallway. She started toward the far hallway, closest to the elevator that would take her downstairs.

Humming at first brought the elevator to life. Then there was a ding as the door opened. Scarlett ducked down the nearest hallway and down a set of stairs that would lead to the floor below. Metal steps echoed beneath her every step, giving away her position but she didn't care. 

Clang, crash, shots were fired and clattered against the stairway. Scarlett grabbed the railing, made to jump over it but another shot rang over her head so she ducked between the rails and jumped onto the concrete floor. 

It was a warehouse. There were cargo containers stacked to and fro, shelves filled with munitions and scrap. Another shot was fired and Scarlett ducked and rolled out of the way, behind the stairs. There she waited until the closest shooter came for her. When he turned the corner he fired at her but she pushed his hand away, the shot ricocheting against the wall then kicked him backwards and fired once at his chest and once in the head. He fell to the ground and Scarlett ejected the empty magazine, letting it clatter to the ground before replacing it with another and cocking her weapon. 

A woman ran toward her, knife in hand and Scarlett popped the fallen magazine into the air and then kicked it right at her. The woman dodged out of the way and Scarlett flipped her gun around, swung it hard so that the grip hit her hard in the jaw. Then she holstered her weapon, flipped out of the way as the woman swung at her with the knife and pulled out one of her own. She'd known this would come in handy again. Guns were tough in close quarters but she'd always been good with a blade.

The woman swung at her left and right. Scarlett knocked her arm back, swung again at her and then as the knife came at her, knocked her assailant against the stairs then stabbed right through the woman's wrist. She tried to pull it free but Scarlett stopped her and jabbed hard at the woman's throat. She choked and Scarlett struck again and watched as she fell to the ground, struggling to breathe. Scarlett pulled her knife from the woman's hand, wiped it on her jacket then stood and fired two shots into the back of her head.

Yelling came from behind several cargo containers. People were taking cover, trying to regroup. Scarlett counted the voices. Only a handful left from what she could tell. Scarlett hurried to the back of the cargo containers, listening through them and also keeping an eye on the staircase. A woman was yelling behind the containers. She sounded like the one in charge, giving all the orders.

They weren't going to let her leave. No, there was some kind of a bounty on her head and they were going to be the ones to retrieve it. But not before they got even for the damage she did today, oh no, not at all. There wasn't any backup coming so that was good. Scarlett knew that whoever was in the building now, that was it. She wasn't outnumbered, not this angry, not this fueled by adrenaline. For what they did to Nathan, what they did to Natasha and Mickey, for what they had done to all those innocent people in the theater, working and attending, Scarlett was going to make sure they never did anyone harm ever again. MedCo would have one less set of disposable soldiers.

There was noise on the stairs but Scarlett turned the corner around the cargo containers. The woman in charge was starting toward the back door, hoping to throw Scarlett off by making her think that there was no one left inside the building and taking her by surprise. She had a guard with her, a tough, tall woman with a scar over her eye. Scarlett recognized the face, but couldn't immediately recall why.

Scarlett aimed and fired at the taller woman, twice in the chest. Blood sprayed across the leader and she gaped in horror as her guard fell to the ground, dead. Someone came at her from the side, probably from the stairs. They were yelling, but Scarlett didn't hear it anymore. The chaos was like music; soothing, rhythmic music guiding her which direction to go next. Armored, the man slammed into Scarlett so hard that she fell onto her side on the ground. Pain shot through her but she ignored it, rolled onto her knees and threw her knife right into the man's shoulder where it plunged into his flesh with a dull thud.

Before he could scream she fired one shot into his chest and one to the head. He fell dead on the ground. Scarlett left the knife in his shoulder, she didn't have to take it with her. It had never belonged to her in the first place. When S.H.I.E.L.D. investigated this place, it would be enough to explain what had happened. Someone had to get something done, Scarlett was done with the red tape, at least for now. Maybe this would be proof enough that she could be some use out on the field.

The sound on the stairs renewed and Scarlett ran the short distance to them and then leapt over the railing. Two men were coming down the stairs and the one closest to her stopped in surprise as she landed in front of him and nearly fell. Scarlett fired at the man behind him and it sent them both tumbling down the stairs. Scarlett grabbed each side of the railing and swung herself over them both as they fell, then turned on a dime and kicked the second man as he tried to get back up so he would fall.

Reaching, she grabbed him by his collar and looked at him seriously.

"Willing to talk?"

"No chance in hell." He spat at her and screamed before grabbing at her. Scarlett shoved him back and fired at him once in chest and once in the head. Scattering over the railing, Scarlett ducked but wasn't fast enough and was kicked hard in the chest and knocked back. She stumbled and blocked another kick and twisted the man's leg but he leapt and kicked her again instead and she fell to the ground.

"You will burn in hell for this!" He shouted as he ran at her.

"I could recite your sins and we could compare but that'd be a waste of breath." Scarlett fired two more shots and the man fell to the ground dead. She knew what she was, she always had. Scarlett got to her feet and wiped the dust off of her jacket before heading around the cargo containers again to the open area of the warehouse. There was a chemistry lab setup in the far corner, something was bubbling. She would have to be careful with whatever that was, but with any luck she could stay far away from it.

A shorter man was helping the leader across the warehouse, urging her to escape so she could plan a counterattack. He looked up and saw Scarlett and reached for his gun so Scarlett shot him right between the eyes. Gun clattering to the ground, he fell into a slump and nearly knocked the woman over. She stumbled and cowered, away from Scarlett, mouth agape. Recognition settled in her eyes. This woman knew who Scarlett was. Maybe she should have been more wary about what enemies she made.

"Don't shoot!" She shouted and held up her hands defensively. "We can make deal, you and I. You know what we did here today. We could call this draw and go our separate… ah!" She shouted as Scarlett shot at her shoulder. Hunching over she fell onto her knees and Scarlett walked around her and pulled the gun from her holster, tossed it away and then patted her down for anything else. A knife and several clips of ammunition. Scarlett then searched the body of the man next to her and knocked any other weapons out of reach, keeping her gun at the ready all the while. "God damnit! What is wrong with you?"

"You know, I tried very, _very_ hard to keep from getting my hands dirty these past few months." Scarlett removed the empty magazine from her gun and replaced it with a new one. She exhaled deeply, for the first time since she'd walked into the building. It felt as though she'd been holding her breath the whole time. That cling returned to her throat, ever present but hell if she was going to show weakness in front of this thug. The woman scowled at her. "And so far I've been keeping my nose clean."

"Thought you'd lost your edge." The woman muttered.

"Ah, so you know more about me besides that I'm a target. Good to know you're well informed. Stupid, but informed." Scarlett scoffed. "I have sat very patiently and watched while you and your bosses _killed_ my friends. I have to confess, it feels rather nice to score some marks on our side of the tally for once." Scarlett kicked the woman to the ground and cocked her weapon. Desperately the leader of the group crawled away, trying to get to one of the weapons that Scarlett had discarded. Casually Scarlett walked around her side and stepped on her hand to stop her from moving. She grabbed at Scarlett's boot with her other hand but Scarlett ignored her and then pointed her gun at her face.

"What do you want?"

"Scott. Scott is what I want."

"I do not know anyone by that name." The woman stuttered on her words and slammed her free hand against the ground in frustration.

"Fine, I want to know about MedCo."

"I do not know of this MedCo!"

"If you don't know about MedCo then you don't live." Scarlett placed her finger on the trigger and tightened.

"Alright! Alright!" The woman shrieked and winced in preparation of the shot that would end her life. "I work for them! _We_ work for them! I built… I built a bomb this last week, and imported weapons for a man but I do not know his name."

"You're a liar." Scarlett scoffed. "You wouldn't know who I was if that was the case."

"I told you I do not know of a Scott!"

"Who was this man you made the bomb for?"

"We never exchanged names! He asked for help and MedCo has funded our operation in the city for years! We gave them what they were owed!"

"What does he look like?"

"Big, hulking man… looks like skin stretched too fast. Blue eyes, dirty blond shaggy hair. Thought he looked rather odd for his size but you don't mess with the bosses." She spat in irritation.

That was Scott. It had to be. Scarlett would have described him the same way had she not known who he once was.

"I want you to get in touch with him. Tell him your men didn't make it back."

"My men?"

"Woman with the scar over her eye. Caught it under a set of goggles earlier escorting him. Don't lie to me again." Scarlett threatened.

"I don't know how to contact him!"

"Bullshit." Scarlett pulled her foot away and walked a little bit away from the woman on the ground.

"Even if I wanted to, what's to say you wouldn't…"

"This isn't a negotiation." Scarlett shot at the woman, twice in the head and she fell to the ground. She was never going to give Scarlett anything of use. Her story had changed with every question, every confrontation. There was nothing of use to her there, nothing. It would send a message to MedCo, but that was it.

Scarlett held her gun aimed at the woman on the ground, expecting the cavalry to arrive at any second, for MedCo guards to storm in and string her up. But no one did, nothing happened and she sat in silence. Her heart was pounding in her ears, so hard she swore someone was smashing something in the room nearby. She knew it was all in her head. Her hand was clutched so tightly around the gun that she felt the grip imprinting onto the gloves she wore. 

It was time to clean up. Finally she took the gun and placed it in the hands of the woman with the scar over her eye. Then Scarlett looked around her at the aftermath. The chemistry lab in the corner still had something bubbling. She walked over to the table and stared at what was available to her. They were making some kind of drug, mixing something horrible. Scarlett pulled up bottles of ingredients and stared at the labels. Flammable.

That was good. There were bottles of fuel at the far end of the warehouse basement, Scarlett had spotted them while hiding under the stairs. Before long she'd strategically laid out fuel throughout the building. By the time the building caught fire she would be long gone. The fire would start in the basement, collapse would likely happen before anyone noticed the blaze. On her way out, Scarlett stopped to cut the lines to the building for everything but power. No one would be sending out any alerts or calling into the building.

Scarlett walked the streets of Manhattan, calm, collected, more so than she expected she would be. Her hands were trembling. They were shaking like a leaf after the adrenaline. It had been so long since she'd done that kind of damage, committed that kind of sin. What was there left to do? Scarlett felt the subway cars rattle beneath her feet and looked up at the line again. She knew where she was going, or at least where she was heading.

The airport. She'd go back to Malibu as she had promised she would. There she'd get cleaned up and sleep off the shaky feeling. The trip back to the airport was a blur, even getting onto the plane would be something that Scarlett would barely be able to recall in the days to come.

As the plane climbed into the air, Scarlett stayed in the bathroom and cleaned herself of any lead from her weapon, any blood that may have sprayed. Once in the air she quickly changed her clothes, absentmindedly going through the motions. Leaning against the sink, Scarlett stared at her hands on either side. Not a mark had been left on them, despite all the combat she'd gone through. Her body was exhausted, she could feel it in her bones, her lungs, her heart. Never had she felt this kind of stress on her body.

It was worse than feeling ill. Glancing up in the mirror, Scarlett made to fix her hair, to clean it up. As she undid her braid, she stopped.

For the first time in a very long time, Scarlett saw someone she recognized in the mirror. She saw her old self and she wasn't sure she liked it.


	34. The Last Straw

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The fight that's been such a long time coming. My goodness. Tony and Pepper are 100% over each other at the moment. That's not the last we see of her though, and don't worry, I don't write her out. I don't dislike Pepper, just the movie portrayals of her. She'll be back. 
> 
> Also Scarlett's sarcasm is so real. X3

"What do you mean?" Tony sighed, pushing the glove he'd been working on away from him. He'd shut off emotionally again because of Pepper. For a moment he'd been excited that she had wanted to talk to him about something he was passionate about. She hadn't been able to even manage humoring him for ten minutes. Was it really that hard for her to see him happy these days? That was a selfish way to think and Tony shut it down immediately.

"I can't do this anymore! I just can't, Tony!" Pepper was exasperated.

"Really? Because you seem to be doing just fine when you're not talking to me."

"Oh, come on!" Pepper stomped her foot in annoyance and then ran her fingers through her hair. She was practically ready to pull it out at this point. "You know what I mean, Tony, I can't keep doing _this_ … this thing that's going on between us!"

"Between us? Pretty sure there's a whole hell of a lot of _nothing_ between us right now. Not even just being a smart ass at this point." There was more aggression in Tony's voice than he'd intended. Apparently he was far more bitter than he'd realized.

"Being passive aggressive isn't going to make this any better."

"Passive aggressive? Guess who I learned that from. Me, the passive aggressive one? Are you joking?"

"Don't do that Tony, don't turn everything into something sarcastic and…"

"You would think by now that you would know that's just how I…"

"I kissed Happy!" Pepper shouted over him and silence fell throughout the lab, minus the beeping of a project at the far end of the room. Tony stared at Pepper in disbelief and actually hunched down as if to listen better. He stuck his finger in his ear and shook it, as though something was caught in it. Then he folded his arms over his chest and ran his hand over his jaw before placing it over his mouth.

He thought for a second, began to speak and then stopped. Pepper stood nervously, brow furrowed and heart racing. She paced in front of him and watched as he basically stood stunned into place. Maybe it hadn't been the time to say something, maybe she shouldn't have ever told him. Ever since it had happened she couldn't stop feeling guilty and what had been worse was that she had wanted to do it again. 

"Say something, Tony." Pepper pled, though her voice sounded fainter than she had intended.

"You… kissed Happy?" Finally he pulled his hand away from his mouth and snapped his fingers in confusion. "Is that what you just said because I can't have possibly heard that right. That sounds like you're saying you kissed someone you're not dating."

"No, Tony… that is what I said. I… I kissed Happy." Pepper repeated and the words came out too quickly, almost smooshed together from nerves.

"Are you kidding me?" Tony exhaled in frustration and then turned around and clenched his fist. Anger surged through him. Was he supposed to be mad? What had she expected him to do? To be jealous? To tell her that he was going to fight for someone who had gone behind his back? Why was he even angry in the first place? Tony had been desperate to find a way out of this relationship without losing his friendship with Pepper! He'd been fooling himself, telling himself over and over that he was crazy for thinking Pepper would do something like that.

Tony had thought, deep down, that there would be some way for them to still be friends, some way that maybe they would repair the damage done. The more Scarlett had been around the less he'd wanted it, but he'd still continuously tried to fool himself over and over. 

"God damnit, Pepper, how could you do that?"

"Excuse me?"

"How could you do that to me? To us!" Tony shouted in frustration. He'd become the fool in a relationship. Never had he been in this position before, he wasn't even sure how to react. Hell, he wasn't sure if he was angry because he felt foolish or if he was actually hurt that Pepper had kissed someone that had once been a friend. Or maybe he was angry that she had basically hijacked one of his best friends. That anger had finally come to a boiling point, finally come to a place where it all bubbled up inside of him at once.

"It wasn't like I planned it Tony!" Pepper shouted back, raising her voice in defense. "What right do you have to be angry anyway? It's not like you want to spend time with me!"

"Are you seriously blaming your kissing Happy on me?"

"I didn't mean to do it! It's just that…"

"Take it from someone who knows, when you have to make excuses for your behavior you have very little excuse at all." Tony slammed his fist on the desk and then turned away. "Everyone says I'm the one that's going to destroy any serious relationship and here we are…"

"We've been talking so much and spending so much time together, Happy and I! He likes to see me, he likes to talk to me and listen to me, Tony!"

"The next time someone tells me that I'm a man-slut I'm going to have a very nice answer for them…"

"We talk! We were talking and one thing led to another and before I knew it I was kissing him and…"

"We used to talk Pepper!" Tony shouted, walking around the desk and past her. 

"Used to being the key word!"

"You're the one who stopped listening! You! Not me! You stopped listening, you talked over me, you disregarded everything I said until you made it impossible to listen to you anymore either! All I ever heard was how upset you were with me, how wrong I was all the time, how I should change, how I should do this and do that! Nag, nag, nag! You can't seriously be blaming our lack of communication on _me!_ "

"You shut off! You completely shut me out!"  
"I sure as hell tried not to! You didn't care! You made it very clear how little you cared about what I was going through!"

"Going through? You? What you were going through? What about me? What about me, Tony!"

"It's always about you, Pepper! That's the damn problem!"

"You are the most _selfish_ man I know and…"

"And you think that this can justify you fucking _cheating on me_?" Tony shouted, anger bubbling inside of him. It felt like someone was gripping at his chest, squeezing his heart so tight he could feel it throbbing in his temples.

"Cheating! Cheating? It was just a kiss!"

"Pretty sure that's called cheating, Pepper!"

"Is it?"

"What, when a woman does it, it's not cheating? But I do it and it's cheating? You can't have it both ways, Pepper!"

"What about Scarlett then, huh?"

"What about her, Pepper? You can't actually make this conversation about that! Just because I hired her when you didn't want me to doesn't give you the right to kiss my driver!"

"You can't honestly say that nothing has happened between the two of you! I see the way you look at her! The way she looks at you! All that time alone in here… doing whatever! You're giving me all this hell for cheating but what about you, Tony?" Pepper shrieked, her own fears bubbling into accusations. She was jealous of what Tony had with his new partner, jealous that she hadn't even been able to fake her way into making Tony that happy even for a few seconds.

"Did you come in here to confess to kissing Happy in hopes I would confess cheating on you?" Tony's voice dropped, mostly in disbelief.

"I thought if we both came clean…"

"You thought what? We could start over? Have a good laugh? Or you could go cry to Happy about how the big mean playboy Tony Stark was cheating on you so he could wrap his big strong arms around you and…"

"Tony enough!"

"I don't know how much more plainly I could say this to you Pepper." Tony pinched the bridge of his nose, racking his brain and trying to keep his heart from jumping straight out of his throat and exploding all over the floor. His hands were shaking, with anger, with anxiety. He wanted a drink, a strong drink, one that would knock him out and make this all seem like a bad dream. "Nothing is going on between me and Scarlett!"

"Don't lie to me!"

"I am _not_ lying! You can't come in here expecting to make me into the bad guy! For once, I am not the bad guy, Pepper! You are!"

"But you…"

"Yeah, you know what? I do have something with Scarlett, but I didn't kiss her! You know why? Because I'm not single! She knows I'm not single! I have made it very clear how incredibly unavailable I am! I have absolutely gone out of my way to remain unavailable to her, to anyone! You know why? Do you know why I would do that, Pepper?"

Pepper stayed silent and stared at him, for the first time since Scarlett had come into the picture believed him.

"Because I wouldn't do that to you! You were my best friend, the only person I could trust, for years! You and Happy! I would never do that to you, break your heart like that!" Tony curled his lip in irritation. "I had fooled myself into thinking that you were too good to do something like this to me, that Pepper Potts had as much respect for me as I do for her! I guess I was wrong!"

"Tony!" Pepper gasped in awe.

"I didn't make a move on Scarlett, no matter how I felt about it because I'm not single." Tony grit his teeth. "Or at least I _wasn't_ single."

"What are you saying?" Pepper stuttered on her words and took a step back, as though he'd struck her. She didn't know what to believe, but in that moment she had known that Tony had never cheated on her and she had actually hurt him. Part of her had hesitated to tell Tony about Happy because she was afraid he _wouldn't_ be upset, that maybe he cared so little he'd be grateful for a reason to be away from her. Never had she expected that she would actually wound him. Pepper had never seen Tony this angry before, never in all her days and Pepper had seen Tony at some of the lowest points in his life.

"I don't know what I'm saying Pepper!" Tony gripped at his hair and turned away from her. He had to try and breathe, he had to inhale and exhale deeply and calm his shaking before he threw up or did or said something that he would regret. 

"We need to talk this out, Tony! We both need to calm down and talk!"

"You mean that you want to talk and I should shut up and listen! I should just take what you're saying in and realize how you're _always_ right even when you're wrong!"

"No! That is not what I do and you know it! You have sat around doing nothing for…"

"Nothing! Does this look like nothing? You are something else…"

"That's it, I won't sit here while you are berating me like this!"

"Berating you? You cheated on me!"

"I can't talk to you when you're like this!"

"What, you mean arguing back?"

"Don't follow me, Tony!" Pepper started toward the door and up the stairs, her hands trembling. Now _she_ needed a drink, she needed to calm down! That hadn't gone at all how she had pictured it would. Things were so much worse now than they had ever been. 

"You're not worth following, Pepper!" Tony shouted after her and when she left he slammed his fist against the wall and the cursed under his breath. "Son of a bitch! You have got to be kidding me!" He shook his hand and looked at the back of his scuffed up knuckles and grimaced. "I need a drink, I need a friggin drink!" Tony walked over to the counter and dug through the cabinets until he found a glass, knocking over several others as he did. Then he grabbed the bottle of scotch from the counter, poured it into a glass and without sniffing it, without admiring the color, the smell, he drank the whole thing.

It burned his throat, he nearly threw it right back up, but he forced himself to down the whole thing. His stomach was churning and he stared at the empty glass. That was it, this was his life. The glass wasn't half empty, it wasn't half full it was completely empty. Things were over. He would lose Pepper forever, somehow he'd have to guarantee she wasn't going to ruin him with all the personal information she took with her. Not only that he would have lost a woman who had once been his only friend. Tony had been miserably aware of how little he really had ever since his return from Afghanistan for years, but now, despite his trying he had even less than ever. 

Turning he threw the glass as hard as he could. It smashed into the concrete wall and shattered into pieces every which way. He watched it for a moment, in disbelief of what he'd done. It didn't matter, nothing did, not right now. He needed another drink. Screw the glass. Tony grabbed the bottle from the counter and walked into the middle of his laboratory.

"Jarvis, music." Tony muttered and at once the stereo came to life, blasting his favorite rock and roll songs. "Louder, much, much louder." Tony shouted over the noise and Jarvis did as he was told without complaint. Even his robot knew that right now was not the time to reason with him.

Halfway into the bottle, Tony was feeling rather sorry for himself. He sat in one of his classic cars, just staring at the liquid in the bottle and brooding. His heart was still racing no matter how much he cursed, how much he told himself he didn't are. The anger was subsiding, it was melting away into something unfamiliar to Tony.

Hurt.

It wasn't something he didn't know, just never quite like this. Pepper's was a betrayal that he had never anticipated, not from someone he had always put on a pedestal. Maybe he'd done that too much. Pepper should have been at his side not above him. He didn't know what to do. Panic was taking him for a real ride on this one. Who was he supposed to call? Rhodey was out of town, besides his friend had done so much for him in the last month that he couldn't ask for more. 

Rhodey would want to know what happened, he would want to talk about it and try to sort it out. Hell, Rhodey might even make him confront Pepper and bury the hatchet. When he'd told Rhodey his suspicions about Pepper he'd been the one to talk him off of the ledge. Pepper just wouldn't do something like that to him! 

Yet here he was, finding out that his fears hadn't at all been irrational, worse they'd been true. Tony had never hoped to have been wrong more in his life. He'd never been cheated on before. Even if it was just a kiss, that was somehow worse than if she'd come in and said they'd slept together. He got sex, he did. It was a primal thing and sometimes it just happened. Well, for people with lesser self control than Pepper Potts. But a kiss? A kiss that she had initiated? She had to have felt something romantic, some strong desire to take a bond of friendship further along.

How many times had Tony wanted to kiss Scarlett? He'd lost count of the times he'd tried to talk himself both into and out of that situation since he'd met her. If someone like him could resist cheating to protect someone he cared about shouldn't she have been able to do the same? Maybe he just had more respect for her than she did for him.

Hours passed. Tony sat in the darkness, tormenting himself for hours! Turning over every possible ending in his mind. The bottle of liquor was still half empty now, but he'd taken a few more sips here and there. Somewhere along the line it had lost its appeal and had only made him turn down a very dark road in his mind. Sobering up hadn't felt any better and it had caused him a nasty headache all at once.

He was going to lose Pepper. 

Once and for all, he would lose Pepper Potts and it had not at all happened in the way he had been worried it would. Before he'd just been worried _he_ was going to screw up. Then again, he had screwed up, more than once. It wasn't only Pepper's fault. Now he was going to turn it around. He couldn't do that to himself, he had to keep reminding himself of that. Rhodey had said relationships were like a team but Tony hadn't quite understood that until now. He'd always rolled with the punches, had very rarely cared about what anyone around him wanted or needed. Then again, Tony had very few meaningful relationships and some of them had only lasted as long as they did because he was very lucky.

What Tony would miss the most was his friend. She really had been his best friend, that hadn't been a line designed to make her feel guilty. How pathetic would it be for him to ask her to be his friend again? There was very little chance romance would work between them now anyway. Tony found himself no longer attracted to Pepper at all in the months past even though he'd tried to be. It was hard to get in the mood with someone who nagged the way she did and made him feel stuck inside himself.

And if he lost Pepper then he would certainly lose Happy. It wasn't like he'd had much of a relationship with Happy since things got so messed up with Pepper but now there was little to no chance.

Tony would be alone.

He'd be all alone, without a soul in the world. Tony had less now than he'd ever had. What did all the money, all the power, all the knowledge mean if he had no one to share it with? There had been a time when that didn't matter but now it was _all_ that mattered. Tony was hopelessly alone.

Closing his eyes, he felt that fear shake through him like a chill.

But he wasn't alone.

Tony opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling and then sat upright. His head spun and he blinked a few times to clear his vision.

Taking a look at the time on his watch Tony saw that it was late, very late. He hadn't realized just how long he'd sat, throwing himself a pity party. Maybe he should wait until tomorrow, but her wise words came through his mind again.

Don't suffer in silence.

There was no time that was too late in this situation. Scarlett could be back from Boston now, if she had truly been just going to clean up her secretary's mess. Before he'd realized it, he had picked up his cell phone and had dialed her. Realizing it was ringing he very quickly put it to his ear and disabled the video function. Tony didn't want her to see him, not yet.

"Hello?" Scarlett sounded oddly distant on the other line and she felt off on top of that. Time had passed enough that she had gotten to actually think about what had transpired in Manhattan today.

"…are you busy?" Tony thought she seemed annoyed that he'd called her so late and for the first moment regretted calling her.

"What? No, no… It's late, but that's all." Scarlett cleared her throat and got it together. It was not like Tony to be insecure. When he wanted someone's attention he got it and did not care what he had to interrupt in order to do so.

"Oh, okay… good." Tony wasn't sure what to say now that he'd called. Even her voice just felt nice to hear. He very quickly put it on speakerphone and told Jarvis to record it. Maybe he could listen to her until he fell asleep at night. 

Nope, not creepy at all Tony.

"…are you okay?" Scarlett felt alert at once, partially afraid that MedCo had done something to him too. After all, the papers had been swimming with rumors about her involvement with him at every given opportunity. "What's wrong?" Scarlett had to calm down. Tony Stark was also Iron Man. If danger came his way he could handle it. The man was a power house, there was no way that some team of MedCo soldiers could take him out. They could, however, take out Pepper and she was sure Tony would never forgive her for that. God, why couldn't she think about something else? Why did she always have to go to the worst case scenario? Then again, Tony had really been struggling with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder too. For all she knew he could be suffering an episode. Scarlett needed to stop over thinking and let Tony talk.

"Yeah, yeah…"

"You don't sound okay."

"Is there any chance, you could maybe… come over?" Tony looked again at his watch then at Jarvis' interface recording his conversation.

"It's pretty late, Tony…" Scarlett began and checked the status of her flight with the pilot, quietly placing her hand over her phone so it wouldn't pick up. "I've still got a few hours on the flight back, by the time I get there it's going to be like… one in the morning." Scarlett spoke cautiously and then sat back down.

"I don't care how late it's going to be." Tony tapped his fingers against the desk. "I mean, unless you're too tired." He whispered. They hadn't gotten sleep the night before either. Was it selfish of him to ask her over? Everything he did felt selfish after his fight with Pepper. "I could just… I really need a friend right now." He laughed at the sound of his own voice, but Scarlett could hear sorrow within it.

Scarlett felt her heart drop at the sound of that word. Friend. She knew what happened to her friends. They were attacked, they were made miserable, they were ruined. She didn't want that for Tony.

"I… I didn't know who else to call. It's late and I know that you're a night owl too and…" He began to make excuses for asking her over so late and after such a long day. Flying was exhausting, Tony was asking a lot of her.

"It's fine, I'll be there as soon as I can." Scarlett made sure that her voice sounded pleasant, trying to even sound like she was amused. "I mean, if you're begging or something." 

"Oh, I never beg." The words came out but they didn't sound sincere. "Not unless you try much harder."

"Sure, sure." Scarlett sighed with relief. "You're sure you're all right? It's going to be a few hours before I can get there."

"Yeah, I'll be okay." Tony felt like a weight had been pulled off of his chest and exhaled deeply. "Ask me if I'll beg again, that will help."

"I don't think I remember the safe word."

"Oh, oh I like that…" Tony couldn't help but smile. What was it about her that made him smile? Relief made his hands shake and his stomach churn, but not in a bad way. He needed to survive just a few more hours with those treacherous thoughts that haunted him. There would be an end, at least for now, and he wouldn't be alone. He had Scarlett and he had Rhodey. That was better than nothing at all.

"You would, wouldn't you?" Scarlett smirked. "You going to be okay until I get there? You're sure? Should I send like… twelve different pizza guys? They could keep you company. I'll give them all very specific instructions…"

"Oh, god, no…" Tony laughed, delighted that she would do something ridiculous like that.

"I can send them with complex riddles to solve!" Scarlett snapped her fingers.

"Please don't." Tony couldn't stop smiling for just a moment.

"That's it, I'm going to do it. Not tonight, but you'll never see it coming." Scarlett insisted.

"You're a monster."

"I know, isn't it great?" Scarlett laughed and then silence fell between them.

"Thank you for this." Tony choked out and for a moment he thought he sound weaker than he meant to. "That wasn't supposed to sound so desperate, so don't take it like that. Something in my throat."

"You're welcome Tony." Scarlett didn't tease him, she didn't need to. That was the most sincere moment of gratitude she had ever heard from him and she wouldn't soon forget it.

"I promise I'm okay. Go enjoy your flight."

"Yeah, for the second time today. Enjoying is what I'll do." Scarlett rolled her eyes and looked around the cabin. It was a nice jet, assigned to Refuge and she was grateful for it but at the same moment it felt far too opulent for her, particularly after what she had just done.

"See you soon."

"See you." Scarlett hung up and turned on the camera on her phone and looked herself over. She had to do something, she looked frightful. Pale, bags under her eyes, obvious weariness, hair a mess. Scarlett would put on some makeup, hide the exhaustion that was nearly crippling her. Every bone in her body was hurting now. She had pushed herself way too far.

Scarlett looked down at her phone as it buzzed again and saw that it was from a S.H.I.E.L.D. number. They would want to know what she did, they would want an explanation for the chaos she had left in her wake. She didn't want to explain herself and quite frankly she felt she didn't need to. Not tonight. MedCo had taken a shot at her thinking she wouldn't fight back and she sure as hell wasn't going to let that fly. Scarlett had fired back and didn't regret a thing other than how exhausted she now felt.

Then a text message popped up on her screen. It was from Jinx. Natasha and Mickey had been cleared medically but were going to continue blood tests for a week to make sure nothing was lingering in their system. It seemed as though Marcia's body was designed to fall apart, as they expected.

Scarlett was relieved, but somewhere along the line she'd stopped worrying. They didn't want Natasha to die, not while they could still use her against Scarlett. MedCo wasn't that stupid, they'd proven that. Whatever biological agent they were developing, whatever it was that had been in that canister set to explode in the attic, it wasn't ready for them to share. Marcia had never expected it to be released. She'd always known Scarlett would disarm the bomb. That was why they'd used her designs in the first place. MedCo was still playing a very complicated game and for awhile Scarlett had played right into it.

Right now it didn't matter what MedCo wanted. Right now, Scarlett's friend needed her and while that thought was somewhat unsettling, it was also comforting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes I forget that I write this story simply because I enjoy writing it. I like the slow build up, I like the character development, the angst, the struggle, the espionage. Most importantly I love Tony and Scarlett together as a team and I love getting them to that point. Posting week after week can become wearisome after some time but it's nice to remind myself that I enjoy this. And that sometimes other people enjoy it too.


	35. United

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scarlett shows up to console Tony, only to find him buzzed and half asleep. Tony... suddenly realizes he's single. Hmm, what will he do with this new found revelation?

"Anyone home?" Scarlett gingerly pushed the door to the Malibu Mansion open when she found it wasn't locked. First she'd knocked and waited patiently for Jarvis or Tony to let her in, but no one had responded. There had been a soft click and so she'd tried the knob and there she was. Lights turned on to greet her as the always did in the foyer, but there was no sign of anyone at home. No Tony Stark, no Pepper Potts, no sounds of either in any nearby room. For a flicker of a moment she was paralyzed with worry. 

Had MedCo retaliated already? Was this some kind of play after what she'd done in Manhattan? She'd thought for sure that it would take them days to sort out the mess she'd left behind.

No. 

There was no way. Scarlett had made her way out of there clean and MedCo wasn't a petty corporation, just greedy and evil. Attacking Tony Stark _now_ wouldn't make sense. He was Iron Man, after all. If they attacked him, no matter how distraught he was, there was no way he'd take it lying down. Scarlett knew just beneath her feet there was an army of Iron Man weapons at the ready to protect their creator.

"Jarvis, is everything all right?" Scarlett closed the door behind her and heard it lock. In the air before her a blue dot pulsed in place then spread left and right before forming a screen that flickered to life beautifully. Upon the screen words appeared as if handwritten. Sometimes Tony Stark's amazing technology was wonderful. It left her with a warm feeling in her chest, easing the worry that plagued her only seconds before.

_Mr. Stark muted me._

"Oh, well, he's all right… right?" Scarlett chuckled as she visualized the simple truth. Hooves belonged to horses here, not zebras.

_He's downstairs._

"This is very weird. Just throwing that out there." Scarlett walked through the beautiful, albeit eerie and empty, house until she reached the stairs that led down into the basement that doubled as Tony's personal workshop, laboratory, and garage. At the top of the stairs Scarlett hesitated. "Jarvis, if there are zombies down there you better also have guns down there."

Without another word she slowly descended the staircase. Standing in front of the glass door for a moment, Scarlett waited for the computer to scan her and allow her into the secure room. It did so and the door carefully closed behind her with a gentle clank. 

The workshop was dark.

Still creepy. All it needed was some fog and a flickering emergency light and this could be the opening of a horror film.

At the far end of the room Scarlett saw that much had been moved and rearranged since that morning. Display lighting glowed around the suits that lined the room, casting shadows that made them almost menacing. One quick search of the room and Scarlett didn't at first notice Tony. Curious. Nothing was amiss or out of place so whatever had happened couldn't have been terribly violent. Was it possible he had gone upstairs and gone to sleep? Jarvis had said he was down here. Well, maybe that wasn't what he meant. Maybe she was just supposed to wait down here.

No way was Scarlett checking the master bedroom, for all she knew Tony slept naked. Or he'd made up with Pepper or something.

That was _not_ what she needed to walk in on tonight, god no. A knot of jealousy gripped her stomach and she cringed. There was nothing to be jealous of, she had to remind herself of that. He's just a friend. If making up with Pepper made him happy, she was also happy.

Nope, still jealous. Scarlett could deal with _that_ later.

Just as she considered flipping on all the lights, Scarlett spotted a familiar silhouette seated on the floor. Tony was next to his Audi R8, either passed out or asleep, liquor bottle in his right hand. Scarlett wasn't sure if this was better or worse than walking in on him with Pepper. At least if he had been with Pepper he would have looked much happier. And sweatier.

Wow, she was all over the place tonight. For some reason she thought of Jinx and cursed her name silently. 

With a sigh Scarlett ran her fingers through her hair and turned away as she contemplated what came next. It had occurred to her along the way that Tony may have fallen asleep by the time she got to him. After all, neither one of them had slept the night before. Whatever emotional ordeal Tony had dealt with that day had to have been draining to leave him like this. Sure, one could argue that Scarlett _also_ had an emotionally trying day but it hadn't left her drained. Far from it, it had left her buzzing with adrenaline.

Scarlett wasn't the type of woman to leave someone she would consider her friend drunk and passed out on the floor. Crouching nearby, Scarlett watched him for a moment. He looked peaceful and he was breathing, so that was all very good. The floor, however nice it was, was not comfortable to sleep on, particularly after a night of drinking. Scarlett grabbed carefully at the bottom of the bottle that his fingers were still lazily wrapped around and tugged. Then Tony tugged back and lifted his head, blinking his eyes open at once. Scarlett pursed her lips as he shook himself awake. There were bags under his eyes and what she was sure was a little bit of drool on his chin. 

It was hard not to laugh.

"Please tell me this hasn't been going on long." Tony said sleepily, his voice lower and quieter beneath the weariness of sleep.

"I just got here." Scarlett smiled warily and continued with another tug to pull the bottle away from him. Then she stood and set it on the table nearby. "You don't look very comfortable."

"Well, I didn't exactly _mean_ to fall asleep down here." Tony rubbed his eyes and searched all around for his phone before instead looking at his watch for the time. With a shrug of his shoulders he decided it wasn't as late as he had expected and then eyed Scarlett. "You made good time." He began to get up but Scarlett hurried over to him.

"Stay there!" She laughed as he again made to get up.

"I'm fine, really."

"Sure, everyone passed out holding a bottle of scotch against their car is fine. I totally believe that."

"I'm not everyone, I'm me."

"No shit." Scarlett placed her hands firmly on his shoulders and when he pouted tilted her head to the side. "Just humor me, okay?" 

"Fine, but only because I like this angle." Tony allowed his eyes to flicker to her chest and Scarlett sighed. "Jarvis, lights." At once every light in the workshop came to life. "Too many! Dimmer, dimmer… Mean, Jarvis is mad that I told him to shut up and go away." He winced, hissing comically at the offending brightness. 

"Maybe you _are_ fine." Scarlett blinked at the onslaught of light but then started across the room. "Still, humor me."

"Yes, ma'am." Tony leaned his head back against the car and watched her walk away. His head had been spinning for a short period of time before he'd fallen asleep. He had guessed it had been from the lack of alcohol so he'd taken another drink to help even him out. That had been an hour ago and now he was feeling much better. Just because he _wasn't_ shit faced didn't mean he wasn't going to enjoy the attention. Scarlett opened the fridge at the far end of the room, removed a water bottle, cracked open the top and returned to where Tony still sat. "Thanks." Tony took the bottle of water, held it up to her in salute and then drank. Scarlett sat next to him and leaned against the car with a heavy sigh.

Much thirstier than he had anticipated, Tony drained half the water bottle in one gulp. The cold water was refreshing and did more to wake him up than even the brightest light would have. After setting the bottle down between his legs, Scarlett handed him the cap and he tossed it aside on the floor.

"Classy." Scarlett clicked her tongue in disapproval and wondered how she should approach asking what had happened to him. Obviously _something_ had happened. Yeah, Tony was suffering PTSD but these sorts of things had triggers, even if they were small. Scarlett didn't want to send him into another panic, but she also didn't want to let it go as if nothing had happened. It wasn't normal to call your friend over in the middle of the night this way unless something was wrong. Particularly when that friend ran a fortune five hundred company and was on a five hour flight across the country. 

"What's with the whole ninja getup?" Tony leaned forward, both hands on his water bottle as he looked her over. Scarlett cocked a curious eyebrow and then looked down at her clothes. She hadn't quite realized she was still completely dressed in black, minus the lighter color tank top underneath her jacket. Her black one had been too filthy to keep on after all was said and done.

"Oh, uh… I was sort of in the middle of something before you called." Scarlett shrugged it off. The look of guilt on Tony's face was downright depressing and surprisingly immediate. "But it wasn't important, so don't worry." She finished with a smile. While he nodded his head she could still see the well of emotion behind his brown eyes. He'd interrupted her life, something probably important, all because he couldn't keep it together. Damnit, he was Tony Stark, this shouldn't have been a problem for him. And yet it was and he'd reached out for help. That was supposed to be a good thing so why did he feel so damn guilty? "So… what happened?" She hadn't planned on being so blunt, but she was too tired to get creative.

Tony sighed and leaned his head back against the car before looking away. How could he form the words to explain what had happened without it sounding like some stupid teenage reason to be as torn up as he was? He wasn't sure there was a way to do that. Sometimes, as childish as this drama felt, it was the most painful. Tony and Pepper were adults, they should have been beyond this childish nonsense. Yet again, here they were. Pinching the bridge of his nose while Scarlett sat waiting patiently he decided just to say it, damn how it sounded. She wouldn't have asked if she didn't really want to know.

"After you left I got into it with Pepper." Tony didn't look at her, afraid that she would roll her eyes or scoff but instead she waited patiently for him to say as much as he was prepared to say, or rather as much as he needed to say in order to get that weight off of his chest. Never before had Tony questioned every word out of his own mouth. Hell, half the time he put little to no thought into what he was saying. Now he was over thinking everything. Anxiety was a bitch. "I think it might actually be over." That was the first time he'd really said it out loud.

An odd feeling washed over him, like someone poured ice water over his arms and legs and then it was gone. It was oddly soothing. Something he'd so feared to say, to admit, was out in the open and nothing terrible had happened at the sound of his words.

"She was my best friend for years." Tony turned to face Scarlett and furrowed his brow. Had he said this at all before? To anyone? Maybe to Rhodey. His thoughts were fuzzy. Somehow it felt different saying it to Scarlett and her thoughtful blue eyes. "In the months past it's become this nagging fear of losing my friend and my assistant but god I don't want to be in this relationship anymore. What was I supposed to do about that? It's toxic, the whole thing is toxic and not… in the fun sexy way where you're doing something you know you shouldn't be doing but it feels oh, so good… it's exactly the opposite." Now that he looked, Scarlett's eyes didn't seem so blue tonight. In fact, she looked overall off color. It had to be a trick of the light.

"She did something I never thought she was capable of. I always held her to such higher standards than I ever expected from myself. Which is unfair, I know, I'm a giant hypocrite." Tony furrowed his brow. "I tried to be the man she deserved and I don't think I ever could have been. But god, I tried. I tried to be better for her, for us." Tony couldn't stop talking now that he'd started. It felt so damn liberating just to say the things that had been trapped in his mind for months. "I still can't wrap my head around what she did… and what's worse I just keep wondering if it's _my_ fault. Did I drive her to it?"

"Tony…" Scarlett began but he held up his hand and continued. She wanted to comfort him, but he wasn't done talking.

"It is my fault, part of it at least… Maybe I held her up to these unrealistic standards from the very beginning because she was always my loyal assistant. Was she always a woman who capable of this kind of hurt? Or did this… _all_ of this, this _garbage_ I'm going through, trudging through and stuck in half the time… did my struggle change her? Is it my fault she became a woman capable of betrayal?" He looked away and smiled, but there was nothing happy about any of what he was saying or what he felt. "I feel this weight on my shoulders, I have since we started dating. I had to keep her safe, keep us both safe and I had to be better, to change, to be different than who I was because she deserved more than a playboy. I feel like I failed. Like I ruined Pepper by pushing her so far away."

"Cut it out." Scarlett smacked his leg and looked to him seriously, brow furrowed. Tony widened his eyes in surprise.

"I'm just being honest."

"This self deprecating bullshit isn't you." Scarlett shook her head. "It's okay to do what you _need_ to do to be… all right. Healthy. Relationships, from what I am told, aren't supposed to be like that. It's not all about her, Tony, it's about you too. You had to do what was best for you and you felt like you couldn't. So you shoved it away like a big dumb man and shut yourself off. The point is that she was supposed to do what was best for _you_ too. It's a two way street, I'm told."

Tony stared at her in disbelief.

"You deserve happiness as much as Pepper deserves happiness."

"Are you sure?" Tony said jokingly but his voice waivered.

"There are a few things you should already know about me, Tony and one of those things is that I'm _always_ right." Scarlett couldn't help but smirk just for a second. "Maybe after you've cooled down you two could discuss things and it won't seem so terrible."

"Yeah, right, that's how things will play out." Tony scoffed and stuck his tongue out in disgust.

"Hear me out!" Scarlett sat up straighter and continued. "You're not the only person in your relationship whose losing a friend. You were her friend too before you started dating, right?" Tony nodded. "Do you really think that Pepper _wants_ to throw away your friendship? Maybe after the hurt is sorted out and you two are angry for a little while you can… fight for what friendship is left or whatever you decide you both want."

Tony had never thought about it that way before. Was it possible that Pepper was being such a raging bitch because she was, in her own way, trying to salvage her friendship with Tony? He'd been acting strangely trying to save his relationship with Pepper too so it really didn't seem so odd anymore.

"Huh." Tony leaned back against the Audi and considered it. The whole thing seemed so obvious now. Pepper was scared too, it wasn't just Tony going through this. Sometimes he really was still such a selfish asshole, even when he'd been trying so hard not to be. "You know, for a woman who the media says is really, really bad at relationships that advice is pretty sound." Tony pointed at her, smiling sincerely for the first time that night. He had perked up at last, a hint of who Scarlett knew him to be finally appearing. Scarlett sighed with relief. His entire demeanor had changed.

"You can't believe everything in the papers Tony, you know that better than most." Scarlett smirked. Tony pointed to the liquor bottle Scarlett had placed so far away on the desk.

"Want a drink?"

"No, actually. My stomach is not happy with me." Scarlett laughed, placing her hand gingerly to her stomach. Tony scowled and before he could question her she continued. "Too much caffeine, too much sugar… it's been a long day. We really have to stop pulling all nighters, we're not that young anymore." Realistically Scarlett wasn't worried about the sugar or the caffeine, or honestly even about her age or exhaustion. Her stomach really _was_ feeling sick and instantly she thought she'd over exerted herself. While she had fought admirably Jemma Simmons words had repeated over and over in her head. 

She was sick.

"That's as good a reason as any. I have already had way too much anyway. It's remarkable I'm not puking."

"Honestly, Tony, your alcoholic stamina is legendary. I'm pretty sure it takes way more than most could handle to get you puking."

"Oh, don't get me started about my stamina, Scarlett."

"Someone's feeling better." Scarlett chuckled but immediately diverted the conversation. The flirting was too difficult right now. With her so tired she could make a stupid mistake. Tony was vulnerable, he could make just as stupid a mistake. This friendship with Tony Stark felt like the only bit of normalcy Scarlett had left. "Did you get to do anything else amidst all of this?"

"Yes! Actually very much so." Tony jumped to his feet, stumbled and then regained his balance. "I'm fine, fine, just wobbly."

"Sure." Scarlett got to her feet and leaned against the R8 before admiring it. Tony owed her a ride in one of those cars after a bet from the other day. Now wasn't the time. 

"After we got off the phone I was actually feeling a bit better so I picked up where we left off this morning."

"And?" Scarlett followed him to where the Mark XLII was still set up. It had been moved from where they'd left it but overall everything looked just about the same.

"Watch." Tony turned to face her and walked backwards but then nearly lost his balance again and knocked over a tray of tools. "Okay, not as suave as I had hoped." Scarlett laughed beneath her breath and walked slowly along with him.

Tony held up his hand to keep her from coming any closer and then stepped onto the large cushioned squares they'd set up for tests. Shaking out his arms and legs, Tony took a deep breath and then silence. Scarlett watched eagerly and honestly expected nothing at all to happen. Tony was being ridiculous, the whole thing was ridiculous. 

Then parts of the suit came to life, the gloves and the boots. One by one they unfolded and thrust through the air toward Tony, still too quickly, but not so much that they would punch a hole through anything this time. Then the metal pieces unraveled and surrounded Tony's hands and feet, just as they had always hoped they would. The force of the armor collapsing around his form made Tony nearly fall off of his feet but afterward he regained his balance and looked back to Scarlett, pleased.

She clapped her hands together and let her mouth hang open in disbelief.

"It worked." She stared in disbelief. "I mean, it's mostly worked the whole time but you… I half expected it to never work properly."

"Oh ye of little faith."

"And you're not just pulling my leg, right? You didn't just put the sensors back in when it was bad decision o'clock?" Scarlett laughed, tilting her head curiously, searching for puncture marks like he'd been trying to pull a fast one just to impress her or something silly.

"I fixed most of the issues. It was power cycling improperly since we had to reroute the power source entirely. That's why the wires kept frying and short circuiting signals from the relays." Tony wiggled his metallic gloved fingers.

"Amazing." Scarlett placed her hands on her hips with a content sigh.

"However the propulsion system is still buggy. I haven't been able to tweak it yet but when I did initial scans I couldn't see why. Maybe it needs recalibration or something…" Tony muttered, peaking at the gloves and the boots he was wearing curiously as he considered how to fix the very least of the problems they had with this particular Mark.

"Let me take a look." Scarlett pulled off her leather jacket, draped it over the back of the desk chair and then hurried over to where Tony stood at the center of the testing platform. "Stay still." Scarlett crouched in front of him and Tony widened his eyes and had to focus every bit of his energy not to make a joke about her on her knees in front of him. 

It was very difficult.

Reaching for the side of the metallic boot, Scarlett pulled a few of the latches and manually released the exterior plates near the bottom of the armor. Tony squirmed in place and swallowed the lump in his throat but decided the sudden physical discomfort was well worth watching her work near his feet. Curse the continued vividness of his imagination. 

"Ah, look. Fried." Scarlett unhooked several wires and revealed a microchip where the corner was just a little bit damaged. "I knew it wasn't your tech, you're too good for that."

"What?" Tony ignored the compliment and instead tried to squirm so that he could see what Scarlett was pointing out.

"It's certainly not _my_ tech. I'm pretty sure I've proven I'm pretty good." Scarlett grinned confidently and then smacked the side of Tony's leg to get him to stop squirming. "Cut it out!"

"I want to _see!_ " Tony pouted. 

"Just stop it!" Scarlett grabbed his leg to keep him still. "Jarvis, can you help him out."

"Un mute, Jarvis." Tony waved his hand.

"If you could stand back for just a moment, Miss Damien." The computer seemed relieved to finally be allowed to speak. Scarlett did as she was told, leaning hunched over still as she watched the computer scan the boot. Then she got to her feet as Jarvis showed the inside of the affected area of the armored boot. 

"Son of a bitch!" Tony scoffed in a higher pitch than normal. "How the hell did I miss that?"

"Glenmorangie probably had something to do with it, I would guess." Scarlett pointed to the bottle of scotch that was more than half empty on the desk.

"You have no idea." Tony laughed, in disbelief. "You're amazing."

"What about the gloves? How are they doing? Looked a little off course and a little fast." Scarlett pulled Tony's right hand close and turned it over in her grip, searching for the clasp along the side of it. No matter how many times she worked on his suit, it was still all foreign to her. Remembering all the clasps, openings, wires, connections, it was impossible. Tony, however, knew it like it was an extension of his very being.

"Same error. Worse actually." Tony nodded, watching her curiously and wiping away the schematic that Jarvis had thrown in front of him. He had plenty to look at already. Scarlett's hair was messy, all over the place.

That was his favorite. It was criminal to see it tied back.

"Let me see." Scarlett turned his hand over and unsnapped the entire back panel of his glove. With a content sigh, she pulled out wires and pulled apart pieces. She even resorted to putting piece of it between her teeth. "Where is this thing." She mumbled, focused all the while on the task at hand.

Tony couldn't believe her sometimes and he didn't mean that in a bad way. She was exhausted. It was written all over her being. Everyone else in the world, at least who he knew, would have gone home and slept then checked on him in the morning.

Not Scarlett.

It wasn't like she didn't have a million things to do every single day and yet she had come for him, to make sure he was doing all right. Hell, before he'd woken up he was almost sure that she had been preparing to help him get into bed. That was an interesting thought. Was he technically still dating Pepper? No, not really. 

Suddenly he felt free.

Carefully he moved closer to her, watching as her curly hair fell in her face. Tony pushed it behind her ear. She hadn't noticed he'd moved closer to her and now his heart was racing with anticipation. His chest, his reactor, felt warm.

"Thanks." She muttered, pulling the wires from between her teeth and placing them back inside the glove. "Not sure this is the exact same problem after all. I don't see any damage."

"Uh huh." Tony humored her but continued to observe her work.

"Let me check the other one, we're going to have to pull it apart and start over." Scarlett stood up straight and reached with her other hand for the other glove.

But Tony instead grabbed her wrist gently and stopped her.

"Can't look at it if you're in the way." Scarlett spoke in a sing song voice. Tony gently held her fingers with his gloved hand pulled her them close to his lips. Closing his eyes he gingerly brushed his lips against the back of her hand before placing a soft kiss against it. Scarlett stopped all at once, actually dropping the plate she'd removed from the back of his glove and felt her heart basically jump right into her throat.

Tony opened his eyes but didn't let go of her hand, staring down into her dulled blue eyes. He didn't have to say anything, his eyes were saying it all. Damn them, Scarlett thought. Expansive pools of honey filled with lust and something more, something far more complex.

"You're drunk." Scarlett whispered though her tongue suddenly felt like it filled her whole mouth and her lips felt dry. There was a very simple way to solve all of that and it was only a few inches away. When had he stepped so close to her, practically pressed up against her, just an inch or so between them?

"I'm not." He shook his head just slightly, never taking his gaze away from hers. Scarlett was searching for an excuse and finding it harder and harder to find one. Without Pepper in the picture she had no _real_ reason to pull away now. Worse than that, she didn't want to pull away.

"Tony…"

"You have no idea what I'm like when I'm drunk." Tony smiled and placed another kiss on the back of her hand. The maintained eye contact was probably going to kill Scarlett and she felt her insides squirm. "This is definitely not drunk."

She made to say something but there were no words. After everything that day with Nathan the guilt was overwhelming. Was it terrible of her to _want_ this? It wasn't like she was in denial, she knew very much what she'd wanted. Hell, she'd fantasized about it a dozen times in the last week alone but after all was said and done it felt selfish. Her baser instincts couldn't dictate her life anymore.

Carefully she tried to pull her hand away from his lips but he didn't allow her to and his other arm snaked carefully around her waist and pulled her close to him.

"Don't run." He pled, watching the gears turn behind her eyes. This was hard for her. Part of her had been using Pepper as an excuse to deny that anything had been going on. They both knew that. She was scared of something, scared of him, not because of what he'd done but because of something unsaid. 

She didn't run.

She wanted this, she wanted it so desperately that her very insides shook at the thought of it. 

But what about everything she'd told Nathan that day? What about him? What about what had happened with Scott? If anyone had ruined any partner in their relationship then it had been Scarlett. Death and decay followed her wherever she went, including inside her very own body. She felt weak, a chill ran down her spine and she turned her gaze away from Tony's hypnotic one. Only seconds had passed in what felt like an eternity.

Tony pulled his arm from around her and tilted her chin back up to face him. It wasn't going to be so easy to pull away this time. They'd had one too many close calls and all the things holding him back were no longer there. When he let go of her chin she didn't look away. She wanted it as much as he did. She wanted him to remove any excuses plaguing her.

The anxiety was killing him, he had to take the plunge. Ten minutes ago he hadn't considered what he could do with his newfound freedom. Since then it had taken a toll. Her whole body was tensed up, he looked her over.

But something wasn't right when he did. Was it a trick of the eye? He looked again.

It was blood.

Holding her hand still he pulled her back and stared at her, mouth agape. Scarlett snapped out of the stupor he'd put her in and looked at herself in panic.

"Fuck." She cursed, pulling from Tony's grasp. There was a large stain on her side, seeping through her shirt. She was bleeding. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for the comments guys :D I'm so glad people are enjoying this! I put a lot of love into this story. I've actually been really pumped to write these next couple of chapters because it was what inspired the whole damn fic. I had a crazy dream about it after I saw the first Avengers movie~


	36. Wounded

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where there's blood there's usually a wound, yeah? Tony gets closer to the truth, Scarlett's running out of places to hide. Turns out they need each other!

"Is that blood?" Tony struggled to shake the fog of their close call. "That is _blood_. Scarlett, you're bleeding!" What if he hadn't noticed it before he'd taken the plunged? He would have kissed her, wrapped his arms around her and pulled back with blood all over his hands. He even could have hurt her! "And I'm not being dramatic! You are bleeding _a lot_." Tony pulled his gloves off and stepped out of the armored boots and grabbed her shoulders, holding her at arm's length so he could take a better look at her. "What the hell happened? How did you get hurt? Who hurt you? Do I need to take you to the hospital?" A million confusing scenarios played through Tony's mind but he kept coming back to one thing, the thing that he'd noticed the very first time he'd seen Scarlett.

S.H.I.E.L.D. 

She had been guarded by S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents at a press release. She'd been seen leaving S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters a number of times. Rhodey had made compelling arguments that she was working with them on some kind of technology the way she was with the military, but Tony had always wondered if it was more than that. It wasn't the first time he'd seen someone living a double life for their sake. For awhile he'd pushed off the idea that S.H.I.E.L.D. had something personal to do with Scarlett but it had always been there nagging in the back of his mind. S.H.I.E.L.D. seemed to have their hands in just about everything and anyone of importance or power. He, for one, was technically an independent contractor when it came to S.H.I.E.L.D., but it still applied.

"I…" Scarlett choked on her words, unsure of what to say. When had she gotten hurt? There had been so much chaos she couldn't recall. Why hadn't she noticed when she'd gotten changed earlier? Everything had happened in sort of a blur after what she'd done. Even now she could feel her fingers numbing and tingling. No wonder she felt so sick to her stomach! But why didn't she feel the pain of the actual wound? Maybe she should have gone with Jemma earlier. "It's nothing." Scarlett nodded but even as she said it, she wasn't confident it was true. She was so taken by surprise that there was so much blood she wasn't sure she could say anything convincingly. "Not a big deal, really."

"Not a big deal? Are you kidding? This is a big deal, a very big deal! I am the king of big deals and let me tell you, this is one."

"I got into a fight." She took a deep breath to collect herself and held her hands defensively in front of her, trying her damndest to come up with an explanation that could possibly save her cover. Nothing came to her.

She didn't want to make up stories. Not anymore.

"Seriously? _A fight?_ What kind of fights do you get into at Refuge?" Tony wiped his hand over his mouth in disbelief. "What, are you running some kind of Brad Pitt Edward Norton secret club underground or something?"

"I must have gotten injured and just sort of forgot about it on the ride home. I've been really distracted."

"How the hell could you forget about something _that_ serious? God there's blood everywhere…"

"You'd be surprised." Scarlett attempted a joke but the look of horror on Tony's face put an end to her kidding very quickly. "It's really not a big deal." Finally she sounded convincing whether or not Tony would buy it was another story. "I'll just run to the restroom and clean up quickly, it's fine. It looks worse than it really is, I'm sure." Scarlett started away, her hands shaking, flustered to the core. Why didn't she feel it before now? Also what had she been thinking beforehand? Why did that, oddly, seem more important than the blood seeping through her shirt? Tony grabbed her wrist and she stumbled as he pulled her back to him.

"There's no chance in hell that you're going to throw a Band-Aid on that, Scarlett!" 

"It's really fine, Tony, you're being dramatic."

"You're not being dramatic enough, I think is what you mean." Tony cocked his head to the side as she tried once again to flee to the bathroom. "You're not okay, no one who has lost that much blood is okay." His chest tightened, but not in the all too familiar way anxiety had forced it to. No, Tony was scared. "We should take you to the emergency room. We need a doctor."

"Absolutely not, that's out of the question." Scarlett groaned in frustration. "Do you have any idea the media shit storm that will go down if we show up at some hospital with me bleeding everywhere? Come on, Tony. Be realistic. I'm not passing out, I can handle this." He had no idea how capable she could be. Sometimes it was frustrating pretending to be far less skilled than she actually was.

"We can be discreet, I know a guy who knows a guy."

"Yeah?"

"Well, I'm sure I do. I know almost everyone worth knowing." Tony cracked a weak smile but it faltered relatively quickly. Even with his brow furrowed with worry, Tony was endearing.

"I'm not going to the hospital Tony. Hospitals aren't my thing."

"Hospitals aren't anyone's thing but you go there when you're gushing blood from your side. Everyone does. Just how the world works."

"Please, Tony… I can really handle this." 

"You can't expect me to just ignore that you're bleeding… we were… and…"

"Tony." Scarlett whispered, taking his hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. There was something in her eyes that convinced him then and there. Some fear, something greater than he knew and while Tony didn't _like_ not knowing things, he knew that she had done far too much for him in the weeks past and it was time for him to return the favor.

"Fine, no hospital. But you're going to let me help you."

"It’s not as big a deal as you're making it Tony. I know you're trying to be sweet or something but…"

"Look, you have done so much for me." Tony stopped to taste those words, not something he'd frequently said out loud to anyone in such context. For a brief moment he considered he should be more grateful. A very brief moment. "Let me do this one thing for you. Please?" Another word he was none too familiar with.

"Fine." Scarlett sighed heavily and pinched the bridge of her nose. "But I'm making my objections known."

"Duly noted." Tony felt relief flood through his chest, at least for now. Tony grabbed her gingerly by the arm and walked her across the room and to his desk where he cleared a space. Scarlett sat on the top of it, her hand over her side where she could now feel the wound pulsing. Adrenaline must have prevented her from feeling the pain but now that she'd noticed the damn thing the pain grew worse with each passing second. Thankfully Scarlett had always had a weirdly high tolerance for pain. Years of having to ignore wounds while on dangerous missions had done her that favor. 

Tony adjusted his chair and sat on it next to her. Then he looked all around him, made a face, held up his finger signaling her to wait and then abruptly left the room. Scarlett tapped her finger impatiently against the wound and considered what exactly she should do. This much blood wasn't normal this long after she'd been wounded. She'd recounted the events from that night and figured it had to have happened while she was helping Natasha in the attic. She'd been far too on her guard with Scott attacking her and then having to keep an eye on Nathan. She never would have gone upstairs to help Natasha bleeding as she was now.

But while she'd been helping Natasha Scarlett had been distracted. Distracted enough _not_ to notice such a grave wound? Possibly. It wasn't like her not to take stock of her condition after such a night. Then again, it wasn't like that night had been _anything_ like her old life. Yes, she'd fought and well in fact but she could hear Jemma's words over again in her head.

She was sick.

A chill washed through her and Scarlett swore that tightness in her chest worsened. Even thinking about it was making her feel worse. Even as she tried desperately to clear her mind, Jemma's words repeated, her warning, her worry in her voice. Scarlett had ignored any worry, had ignored those harsh words and now she was paying the price.

"Sorry, can't clean that up without… well, something to clean up with." Tony had an armful of first aid supplies which he scattered on the desk haphazardly. Sitting back in his chair he cleared his throat and tugged at the bottom of the bloody shirt she wore. "All right now… take off your shirt." Tony tilted his head downward and stared up at her with big brown puppy dog eyes. Much to his surprise, Scarlett smacked his arm in objection. He laughed. "Come on! I can't see what's going on through it, you know. Feel free to shake it a little if you like."

Knowingly, Scarlett lifted the side of her shirt and rolled it up over the wound. The material was beginning to dry in some places, making a nasty sound as she moved it. Part of the fabric stuck to the wound and she bit her lip to stifle the pain but she must have winced because Tony did too and squeezed her knee.

"Fine, this will work but I'm pretty sure a medical doctor would have had you take off your shirt." Tony clarified, trying to joke through it all. It wasn't like him to be incredibly serious for too long. Besides, he couldn't hide his smile or deny that her reaction had pleased him.

"Come on, Tony."

"Fine, fine." Tony relented at last but only because he knew the reason _why_ she was so insistent she keep her clothing on. He had been about to kiss her. If she hadn't been bleeding he would have and this time there was nothing stopping him. Though now that he thought about it, the breakup with Pepper wasn't exactly official.

Pending, yes, but not official. 

There was a good chance he would try again before the night was over and no that wasn't against his better judgment. It felt like good judgment for the first time in a very long time. For now he'd let every joke that jumped into his mind about her shirt go. He didn't want to but he became focused on the wound on her side.

"Shit, Scarlett… you didn't notice this?" He placed his hands around the wound and she leaned a little away.

"Your hands are cold."

"That's what you're complaining about? Really?"

"They're really cold."

"Poor circulation I guess." Tony rolled his eyes and, cloth in hand, stared at the wound again, unsure of where to begin. "This is a mess, we should really go to a hospital. Jarvis, tell her we should be at the hospital."

"Miss Damien I agree with Mr. Stark for once. You are bleeding rather freely."

"I am not arguing with your artificial intelligence about what I'm going to do here. I agreed to let you look at it because you insisted. If you have changed your mind, hand over the first aid stuff and I'll do it myself." Scarlett tucked the bottom of her shirt under her bra and grimaced at the squishy sensation of the cloth. "So?" She held out her hand for him to give her the cloth but he didn't.

"I'd feel much better if we went to the hospital but since you're being so stubborn…"

"Stubborn? Have you met yourself?"

"I know I'm stubborn, see, not in denial about things like _one_ of us."

"I'm not in denial. I'm bleeding, Tony. I'm going to keep bleeding until it clots or you force it closed. That's not denial, Tony."

"Fine, fine. You're not in denial, you're just stubborn." Tony grimaced, wiping his hand over his mouth. "I'm just…"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it. Worry is not a good look on you. It probably looks much worse than it is. My shirt is soaked with blood and it spread all around and…"

"I'm going to throw up if you go any further into detail."

"Oh my god, you are procrastinating so hard, Tony." Scarlett laughed, but even then she was starting to feel nauseous. Every logical thing in the back of her mind was telling her she should go to the hospital. This was stupid. She was being stupid. There was too much blood, too many factors adding into her medical condition. But if she went to a hospital she would have to tell them the drugs she was taking, she would have to tell them what was wrong with her, she would have to involve S.H.I.E.L.D.

The very thought made her dizzy. Everything would unravel. She wasn't ready to explain it all, she needed more time. Finger numb, she gripped the desk but even that felt weak. 

"All right." Tony could see how pale she'd become, see that she looked nervous. Something behind her blue eyes was distracting her and for some reason she wouldn't say it out loud. Funny, Tony probably wouldn't have been able to shut up about being wounded if the tables had been turned. Sometimes they were very alike, sometimes they weren't. 

Carefully he wiped at the furthest spot of blood on her stomach. Her skin was warm.

"It's just been sitting for awhile. It has to have been hours." Scarlett nodded and wondered what she did that pulled it open. It had to have closed during travel. She was losing so much blood at such a rate now that it never would have gone unnoticed for so many hours unless it had clotted. The blood came right off. No wound immediately. Scarlett had to have been right, Tony thought. The blood had simply spread and dried earlier and then as it had reopened bled again. Still he wondered what she had done that resulted in such a terrible wound but right now he couldn't focus on that. 

There would be time for questions later, once she wasn't bleeding anymore. The second swipe of blood was easier, less traumatizing to deal with. His hands had even stopped shaking. It was like working on anything else… except Scarlett was far more delicate. He'd dreamt of touching her, of seeing her in all her glory, but never like this. She shifted on the desk, her hand knocking a stack of papers onto the floor, fingers slowly spreading. Her wrist was trembling. Tony looked away from the wound, cleaner but still bleeding.

"You okay?" He held his cloth against the wound and watched her face curiously. Even her lips were pale but she still nodded to let him know she was all right. "You don't look great."

"Words a girl always wants to hear." Scarlett smiled weakly.

"Jarvis, is she okay?" Tony cleared his throat.

"It appears as though something is trapped just inside the wound." Jarvis drew a diagram of what he could see, highlighting the small something that was hidden just beneath her flesh. 

"Shit." Scarlett clenched her teeth and tried to pull the cloth away but Tony held it fast against the wound.

"Trust me." Tony waited for her to nod and when she did with an added roll of her eyes, he urged some of the things on his desk to the side. "Lay back, okay?"

Without response, Scarlett carefully slid her hand behind her on the desk so that she wouldn't simply fall back, Tony quickly helped her. The wound made a terrible sloshing, stretching sound as she did and he winced. 

"I'm fine." Scarlett waved her hand weakly and then closed her eyes allowing her hand to fall limp at her side. Several items clattered off the desk.

"She's not fine." Tony whispered under his breath. "Jarvis, gotta guide me here."

"Might I suggest we call for help?"

"It's right there, I can get it." Tony hissed and Jarvis silenced at once. Tony maneuvered the hologram toward him. He couldn't think about it like a wound, he had to think of it like something he could fix, one of his machines. When he pulled the cloth away and saw the blood he grimaced. It didn't look like one of his machines. 

_Focus._ It was too late to call for help now. Scarlett was too pale to wait for someone to get there.

And so he did. Before he could think too hard about it, he allowed his fingers to find the piece of metal that was lodged in the wound. Then, scrambling, he grabbed a pair of tweezers. Between the two he was able to pull the inch long tip of a blade from within her flesh. It clattered onto the desk as he let it go then held the cloth against Scarlett's flesh once more, to stop the bleeding.

"Is that it Jarvis?"

"That's all that I can see, sir." Jarvis responded. Tony sighed with relief, though was not convinced. Even if Scarlett refused the hospital, he was going to make her promise that at the very least she would be seeing a doctor. "She is bleeding still rather rapidly."

"Yeah, I see that." Tony grimaced. "Really should go to a hospital."

"I got this." Scarlett slowly leaned up and while even her lips were a ghostly white, she held her hands steady. "Just, let me stitch it up. When I get home I'll call someone, okay? I promise." Tony was still staring at her skeptically and Scarlett swore Jarvis was doing the same. 

"I don't want you to get sick." He objected, but Tony wasn't sure he could convince her to see a doctor right now anyway. Part of him wanted to wait for her to fall asleep and call one himself but that sort of sneaking around had never worked in his favor before so why now? 

But she was so pale. He was wracked with worry.

"I'll be fine." Scarlett nodded her head and tugged the first aid supplies toward her. Her fingers were stiff. Could she really do this? She stretched her hand for a few seconds before grabbing the first aid supplies with one hand and holding the cloth with the other. Tony leaned back in his chair and watched her.

"That bleeding is insane." Tony muttered and Scarlett nodded her head but didn't respond. He was doing the math, trying to remember something he read in a textbook a few years back when he'd struggled with Palladium toxicity caused by his arc reactor. His blood had been borderline deadly toxic back then and it'd caused even the stupidest little cut to bleed for eternity. What else could cause that? He racked his mind but even as he did, he knew the answer of possibilities was somewhere in the hundreds. Hell, some people just had thin blood.

"I'm going to be fine, Tony." Scarlett smiled reassuringly while she worked on the wound but for some reason this didn't settle his nerves in the slightest. It was the first time in a long time he'd dealt with wounds of a physical nature. Somehow they'd always been easier than these mental struggles, probably because they were tangible, physical. When it was on his own body he didn't care. Chicks liked scars, right? Watching someone he cared about so wounded though, that was a different story. He couldn't do anything to make it better, god it was almost as bad as this anxiety bullshit.

Maybe chicks didn't actually dig scars at all. Scarlett didn't seem incredibly phased by the fact that she was bleeding, but maybe she felt the same way he did about it. If it had been him, she'd have been all over it. He bet she would have made him go to the hospital too. Then again he wouldn't have fought that hard against it. Why had she? Who cared what the media was going to say?

"Hey, question."

"I'm not going to the hospital, Tony." Scarlett didn't even lift her gaze.

"No, not that."

"What is it?" She sounded more coherent than only moments ago. Tony felt relief give on the grip on his chest a bit.

"All of this… how you got hurt and the paranoia, does this have anything to do with your… ya know…"

"My what?"

"PTSD, your… I mean, you don't talk about it. But I know something happened. I don't read you as easily as you read me even though I try, god I try. It seems impossible that these two things aren't related."

"You read me better than you think you do." Scarlett placed the cloth over the wound again and considered her options. Was right now really the time? "No, Tony… it's… it's not that." Well, that didn't sound convincing. She caught his gaze, those big, worried eyes and she swore that for a second she even gave in. Then she averted her eyes and shook her head. "It's nothing, really."

"You're lying." Tony leaned against the desk next to her and gently nudged her leg with his elbow.

"I do that." Scarlett nodded and then scoffed. That oddly filled her with guilt. Of all the things to start bothering her, jeez.

"It's okay to ask for help. Whatever this is, you don't have to do it alone." Tony tilted his head to the side to catch her gaze, practically resting his head on her lap as he did. "You taught me that."

Scarlett stopped fussing with the wound and turned back to him. She _had_ said that to him, more than once. Why couldn't she follow her own stupid advice? What a hypocrite. S.H.I.E.L.D. wasn't going to be happy with her. They already wouldn't be. That night had been filled with bad decision after bad decision and Scarlett wanted to make another. She was tired of letting lies dictate her life. She didn't want them to dictate Tony's too. He was owed an explanation whether or not he would push as far as to say it. Scarlett was bleeding in his basement and she had to tell him something.

She wanted to tell him some semblance of the truth. Maybe not the whole truth yet, but some of it. 

That would be a good start.

"All right." Scarlett nodded and pulled her gaze again away from his, not even having realized she'd kept it that long. "It kinda relates in… a stupid convoluted sort of way." Tony didn't say anything, he didn't have to. All he had to do was let her talk. "Before I started Refuge I uh… I pretty much _only_ ever got into trouble. I was good at trouble though and I still sort of am, so I guess old habits die hard."

"I could see that. Always thought you were trouble."

"Yeah, so I was working this old job with my ex. It was… it was actually a boring job for me but he was keeping secrets and they blew up in my face." Scarlett nodded her head. Tony felt a chill run through him and gripped her leg a little harder. "I am good under pressure. It's part of why I was so good at what I did for years and so when I found out what he was doing, I retaliated." Scarlett couldn’t believe she was even managing a vague version of this story. It all sounded so silly when she didn't give all the information. "Long story short, he made a bad deal at my expense and I was less than cooperative. Now he's… out for my blood." Scarlett meant that in every sense of the word and wondered if Tony could read between the lines. "So since it turns out he's… a pretty bad guy I'm working with S.H.I.E.L.D. to put him behind bars."

"I knew they had something to do with it." Tony spoke quieter than he meant too. Scarlett tapped her fingers against the desk after checking on the wound. The bleeding had slowed. 

Thank god. 

"I know that all sounds really vague and you probably have a million questions."

"Yeah, that's for sure." Tony nodded.

"But the details…" Scarlett closed her eyes and exhaled deeply. She was strong, she could talk about this. There was no way she could have a fit right here, right now. Tony didn't need that, he didn't deserve that. Her fits weren't like his, hers ended in coughing and hell, sometimes violence. "The details I don't talk about much. Honestly I don't know if I've said any of it out loud since I approached S.H.I.E.L.D. I'm struggling to cope with it. My… when I… it feels stupid to say it, but when I panic it's not like yours, Tony. It's much less pretty."

"That doesn't feel possible." Tony grimaced.

"Tonight though… I was just trying to keep someone safe. I used to be good at that. It was kind of a disaster. I didn't realize I got hurt in the process, that's all. Adrenaline does that sometimes. I'm sure you get that, Iron Man and all that."

"Yeah, I do." Tony smiled a little bit. It was more than he'd ever expected her to actually tell him. Part of him had even expected her to get angry, to avoid the question, for them to have another fight over the matter. Tony didn't think he'd fight with her now about it. She'd said something that had really struck a nerve.

That night she had been trying to protect someone. By not telling him the details, she wasn't protecting herself, or not only herself, but she was protecting him. It seemed that Scarlett had dedicated a huge chunk of herself just to protect the people who remained in her life. A chill ran down his spine and goose bumps broke out along his arm when he felt her hand gently rest over his on her leg.

"I'm sorry I can't say more." Scarlett was met with silence for a long time. She expected him to lash out, to be upset as he had been on the beach that she wasn't trusting him with more. Trust wasn't the problem.

"About this ex…"

"Really?" Scarlett laughed and pulled her hand back, going to run her fingers over her face but stopping when she saw them covered in blood. She then reached for the gauze and wrapped it around the wound on her stomach as tightly as she could muster.

"Yeah, I mean, I don't know… any ex of yours had to have been…"

"Tony, that's a bad idea." Scarlett rolled her eyes.

"I just want to know what the playing field looked like."

"You really want to know stupid relationship stuff?"

"Yours, I do. Other people's not so much."

"We were together for years. Probably a decade. I honestly… I was not as good a girlfriend as I should have been. I can't actually tell you when we met or how long we were together or… what our anniversary should have been. I thought we were serious though. I guess. It's hard to explain, I was oddly detached from it for the last few years."

"I'm really struggling seeing you as not being a good girlfriend, I mean… have you looked in the mirror?"

"There's more to it than that, Tony. You know that as well as I do, pretty boy."

"I don't know, that's a pretty big part of it." Tony smirked.

"Look, as insufferable as I can be right now? I was way worse before I came to the United States and started Refuge." Scarlett swatted at his hand as he squeezed her knee again. "I was selfish, incredibly selfish. For as smart as I am I was so stubborn and stupid. Sometimes I still am, I suppose. Worse than any of that, I was unfaithful." Scarlett felt that guilt in her stomach. Her relationship with Scott had never been right, she'd known that from the beginning. She was the woman with a double life back then, though she guessed that was still true just in a different sense. There was one life where she was with Scott, the nice guy who had asked her out a dozen times before finally getting a date, the guy who wanted a normal life. Then there was the life she really lived, where she traveled the world taking dangerous jobs, doing the impossible, and flirting with danger every time she got the chance.

The life with Scott had never been the life she'd wanted. That had been the life she'd lived out of guilt. That guilt had ruined Scott. He thought he could change her, he thought she'd come around. Worse, he thought he had to be part of that dangerous life to keep her. She'd ruined a good man.

Tony squeezed her hand and Scarlett hadn't even realized she'd held onto it until then. Her head was swimming and now that she thought about it at all, she was exhausted, mentally and physically.

"As bad as I was, I never lied to him." Scarlett spoke quietly. "He always knew. Maybe I should have lied because it turned out _he_ was lying. He was never the man I thought he was and I was never the woman he wanted me to be. Forcing people to be something they're not only ends poorly."

"So, he's getting revenge? I guess?"

"More or less. It's far more complex than that but I suppose it's what it all boils down to." Scarlett returned the squeeze he'd given to bring her back from her thoughts only seconds ago. Tony felt that odd sensation of jealousy again, differently than when he'd met Nathan face to face. This man, this ex she talked about, had spent a decade with Scarlett, had known her secrets and still had chosen to betray her. It was an odd mixture of jealousy and anger at a person he didn't even know. On top of that it looked like Scarlett felt responsible for the whole thing. People made their own decisions, Tony knew that better than most. He had a feeling Scarlett knew it too. It was hard to apply it in any situation. They were only human.

Seeing the logical truth was easy, applying it to a personal situation was difficult. Guilt was a strong feeling, anxiety blurred the lines between truth and reality. Tony could tell Scarlett exactly how he felt about the situation but it wouldn't help. He knew that well enough. She wasn't ready to talk about it and the fact that he'd gotten anything out of her at all had astonished him.

"Miss Damien, are you sure that you're going to be all right?" Jarvis cut through the silence and Scarlett suddenly took deep breaths, and held her hand up to silence Tony when he blanched with worry.

"I was holding my breath and didn't realize, I'm sorry." Scarlett nodded and took a deep breath in and out. "I'm going to be fine. The bleeding has slowed and I'm all wrapped up." Scarlett let go of Tony's hand and scooted to the edge of the desk but stopped when she felt dizzy. Her stomach was suddenly in the back of her throat and so she closed her eyes and allowed the spinning of the room to pass.

"Your blood pressure is very low, Miss Damien…"

"Stop reading me, Jarvis." Scarlett peeked one eye open and then rubbed her fingers against her temple. "Of course my blood pressure is low, I just lost a lot of blood and I'm really dizzy. Plus my blood pressure runs a little on the low side. Don't worry, it's not a metabolic disorder and I'm all caught up on my shots." She joked and managed to at last open her eyes without seeing Tony's chair in twelve different places sliding around in her peripheral vision.

"You should stay here for the rest of the night so I can keep an eye on you." Tony had been working on an excuse as to why she should stay other than that in his mind but instead went with the truth.

"I'm really fine and…"

Tony picked up both of her hands and moved his chair carefully in front of where she sat and she sighed heavily. All he did was stare at her, he didn't even have to argue. This was very unfair.

"Fine." With a whine Scarlett pouted. "But my clothes are all gross and crunchy. Can we at least go sleep at my place so that I have something clean to wear?" Scarlett argued, mostly wanting to get away from Jarvis. He was going to catch onto the truth of her health situation before Tony did and when he did it was going to be a real mess.

"I'm too tired to drive." Tony let go of her hands.

"I'm really uncomfortable though, I swear there's blood all the way down to my knee. It's nasty." 

"Look, I'm sure I have something…" Tony tapped his finger against the desk and knew that he had plenty of Pepper's clothes still upstairs in his closet but he thought of how wrong that would be to share. Snapping his fingers, he stood up and pulled his black shirt over his head. Scarlett tilted her head to the side and watched while he did then averted her eyes once he was free of it. What? Was she _not_ supposed to admire his physique? Lord knew he was doing it to her every chance he got. "You can sleep in this and in the morning we'll get you something better."

"I'd usually argue but god I love that reactor." Scarlett joked.

"Hey, remember I'm more than just a nice arc reactor, Scarlett. There's abs and everything there, don't forget about them."

"Oh, of course, how dare I offend." Scarlett watched as he pushed his chair out of the way and smiled a bit. Now he was just showing off. Or maybe he wasn't. Either way, his back was lovely and his pants fit in just the right way. There was no harm in admiring what was there in front of her anyway. After the pain she'd been through that night and the fresh hell that was nausea in the back of her throat, she deserved a consolation prize and if that prize was the adorable butt of Tony Stark, she wasn't going to argue it.

"Come here," Tony turned back to her and offered her his hand. Scarlett carefully took it and then stepped gingerly on the ground. Her legs were wobbly but not giving out. She allowed Tony to guide her over to the couch at the far end of the room, grateful that he was taking it so slow. "Sit down."

"Awfully demanding." Scarlett did as she was asked, but not for lack of wanting to argue, wanting to play. Her arms felt heavy and that nausea wasn't exactly letting up. 

She felt terrible.

"Arms up."

"No…" Scarlett whined sleepily but when Tony tugged on the bottom of her shirt she swatted at his hand. "I got it." Removing the bit of her shirt that she'd tucked beneath her bra she carefully pulled it up, turning away from Tony as she did. She snuck one arm through the arm but stopped when Tony gently grabbed the wrist of the other. He guided it through the other arm easily and then scooted closer to pull the shirt over her head, careful not to let her hair get caught. Unsurprisingly, he was good at this.

Scarlett caught his gaze and much to her surprise he wasn't looking at any of the obvious things she would have expected him to. Carefully he pushed her hair away from her face and tucked it behind her ear. His hands were cold now against her clammy skin as he placed it on her cheek. 

She leaned into his touch and closed her eyes. Never before had anyone's hands felt so comforting. His thumb gently grazed the side of her mouth and she couldn't resist. It was too tempting. Scarlett turned and placed a kiss against the distracting thumb. Tony tore his gaze away from her lips and watched as she did the same.

God he wanted to kiss her, to feel the same curve of those lips against his instead of his damn thumb. But her eyes were dull, gray with exhaustion and illness. Her skin was pale and in the back of his head he kept hearing Jarvis telling him that her blood pressure was low.

When Tony finally did kiss Scarlett he had _no_ intentions of that being the only thing he did. One kiss wouldn't be enough, he knew it. One kiss would make things complicated. Tony wanted the whole package. If they were going to make a mistake together it was going to be one hell of a thing to remember. Tony didn't want there to be a chance she could forget about it. Scarlett needed sleep, he knew she did. Slowly he pulled his hand from her cheek and while she looked disappointed, he instead picked up her hand and kissed the back of it as he had done earlier.

Scarlett nodded her head and then winced as she regretted the very action. Neither one had to say anything to understand what was actually being said. He pulled his shirt over her head with ease, then guided one arm in at a time before very carefully pulling it over her until it covered her legs. Tony turned away when she unbuttoned, unzipped, and removed her pants. God he wanted to be the one to do it, but the thought of it was making him hot under the collar. Now was not the time to deal with those physical issues.

Still when he turned back around her long legs were still there, exposed. Tony mentally cursed his own dignity and longed for the days where he'd thrown it to the wind for a good time because god he knew that Scarlett would be one hell of a good time. Looking anywhere but at her legs, Tony searched the room and found the pile of pillows and blankets that had been his for the longest time. That spot on the couch was where he usually fell asleep, but tonight it would be for Scarlett.

She laid on the pillows without arguing and even allowed Tony to tuck her in. It was a sensory overload. His shirt was so warm, still warm from him being in it. Just when she thought she could stand the scent of his cologne on his shirt, she was bombarded with the scent of it on his pillows, on his blankets, and even worse than that, the scent of him, the smell of sweat, just that unmistakable smell of him when he'd been working so hard he'd simply passed out in a pile of pillows and blankets.

She felt a little gross for thinking it but she kind of loved it. It was comforting, it was second only to the idea of his arms around her. Scarlett had never wanted or needed the comfort of anyone before in her life but now, more than ever, she wanted just one moment of comfort, to share her burdens with someone else. It felt selfish.

Tony sat on the ground next to where she lay and saw the content look on her face and yet couldn't shake the nagging worry that he had done something wrong by helping her, by not taking her to the hospital, by ignoring the potential for any worse pain by not getting her the treatment she truly required.

"You look comfortable."

"I am." Scarlett whispered, but the exhaustion was even in her voice. It broke and she cleared her throat and then hid her face against her hand and coughed until the cling went away. Her chest hurt, her fingers were tingling and the world was still spinning.

"You should be, it's a very expensive couch." Tony teased with a smile, hoping to deflect his own stress as well as comfort her further. He'd stolen one pillow for his lap to hide the obvious but she didn't seem to notice. They talked for a little while longer, until Scarlett stopped making sense. That didn't do anything for his worries, but soon after she fell asleep. Tony sat watching her for a long moment, making sure her chest was rising and falling, every so often checking that oxygen was coming out of her nose as she did. Once convinced she wouldn't stop breathing in her sleep he turned away and looked toward his desk.

"Jarvis, stay quiet. Not muted, but quiet."

"Yes, sir."

"Is it normal for anyone to bleed like that? Tell me I'm being crazy and that she's okay." Tony whispered but Jarvis didn't respond. "You're no help. I built you to help, remember?"

"It's not normal, sir." In the air, Jarvis pulled up several articles from different medical journals. Everything from a platelet count issues, to pregnancy, to lupus spoke about thinning and thickening blood.

"Christ." Tony leaned his head back against the couch and focused. Breathing problems. She'd had breathing problems on more than one occasion while they were together. Cough, dizziness. It was all too damn vague. How was he supposed to alleviate any of his fears when every symptom could be something terrible but also something as stupid as allergies? "I know she said not to…"

"Already monitoring her status, sir. You don't have to ask."

"Thanks." Tony nodded and moistened his lips. Sometimes he swore that Jarvis was developing a soft spot for Scarlett too. What was he going to do? Tony knew what he wanted to do but what he wanted and what he should do were probably two different things. Never before had he been so torn over something as simple as attraction. It wasn't that simple though, that was perhaps the problem. It was so much more than he'd bargained for from the moment he'd met Scarlett. 

For awhile he'd thought it had been in his head. That he had attributed his beginning to cope with PTSD somehow to Scarlett simply because she had been in the right place at the right time with all the right answers. But it wasn't that anymore. She was becoming his best friend, the sort of friend he'd only ever had in Rhodey and Pepper before. And even more than that he felt this tug, a tug he'd never felt, one that he'd refused to admit existed any time before this. 

Old girlfriends had exclaimed that they'd felt it before, of course. But Tony's relationships had never lasted very long in the past and had never been very serious, at least not for him. He used to joke that women fell in love with his wallet. It was easy to confuse the feeling of finding your soul mate with beautiful new jewelry.

This was different. He'd always known it was even though he'd been struggling with everything with Pepper. What he felt with Scarlett was what he had thought he should feel with Pepper but never had. Hell, he hadn't even kissed Scarlett, hadn't slept with her, hadn't bought her a damn thing and this was the feeling he had.

The worst part was that all Scarlett wanted out of him was for him to be _happy_. Who did that? There were actually people out there like that? Yeah, Rhodey had always wanted what was best for him but in a nagging parental sort of way, trying to manipulate him into doing the right thing via guilt. This was different. Where was Rhodey? Tony wanted to talk to him about this. Yeah, Rhodey manipulated him into doing the right thing, but in a good way. Tony needed someone to steer his moral compass sometimes.

What was going on with Scarlett was no longer a question of morality, but rather of admission and timing. She was stubborn, but he knew that if anyone could both understand and break through that stubbornness it was him. Scarlett may have been the strongest and most mysterious woman he had ever known with the exception of Natasha Romanoff. For some reason he thought the two would get along. But that same mystery and strength was also what made this situation so scary. Scarlett was in trouble. She'd alluded to it now so he knew it was there, not just speculation.

Scarlett's strength, her stubbornness, everything… it seemed to make her oddly fragile. Denial was looming over her head and Tony recognized it immediately. She had rationalized her way out of it earlier, but that was what people did when they were in denial. It was hard to see it until the moment had passed. This kind of denial in as heavy a situation as she was in could get her killed.

God he wanted to save her from all of that.

Tony wanted more than anything to protect her from any fallout that was coming her way no matter what sins she'd committed in the past. He was no saint either, who was he to judge? Tony had gotten the distinct impression that whatever Scarlett used to do was not exactly legal and still all he'd become was curious. The woman she had been wasn't relevant anymore. Tony knew the woman she was now and that was the woman he cared about.

He had to protect her, to be there for her even if no one wanted him to be. It was beyond optional now.

Tony knew Scarlett could protect herself, that wasn't why he wanted to do it. He knew that she was more than capable, that she was strong and smart. He didn't want to belittle her but rather provide her with the same refuge she had given him. It wasn't wrong to protect the people he cared about. She'd protect him, she was probably already protecting him for all he knew and he was just as capable.

"Jarvis, I want to build something." At once dim blue lights came to life in front of him. "Bring up the schematics for the older Marks for me." Tony turned to glance at Scarlett. "And in the least perverse way possible I need you to get a scan of her for me."

"You're not building her a suit, are you? She will hate that."

"No, not at all." Tony smiled a bit. She _would_ have hated that. Tony wasn't going to make her into something she wasn't but he sure as hell wasn't going to stand idly by and watch her die. He was hoping he wouldn't need it, that he would never have to use it but in case he did, he was going to build it and he was going to build it now.

"Then what is it, sir?"

"You have to promise not to mention it to anyone, keep it… away where no one but me is going to find it. Even if she asks about it, you don't know a thing."

"Of course, sir."

Tony was building a model of it in front of him already, using existing pieces of existing Marks to pull it all together before pulling it apart and starting over again.

"Is it some sort of weapon?"

"No…" Tony traced his finger in front of him and drew on the existing schematics. "It's more of a shield."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Sorry that I didn't update last week, so I'll post two this week! ENJOY!


	37. Attack and Defense

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's not what it looks like! Trust us, it's not what it looks like Pepper. The long awaited knock down drag out where Scarlett says what we've all been thinking!

Pepper Potts stood outside the front doors of the Malibu home for a good half an hour before she finally gathered the courage to walk inside that morning. Jarvis greeted her extra quietly and she ignored it. Not because she was trying to be rude, but because she was filled with nerves and butterflies. She'd barely slept the night before between stress, guilt, and worry.

She wasn't sure she'd be able to rest until she properly talked to Tony and they figured out what the next step was. It was over. Their relationship was over. Pepper knew that deep down, but if there was any chance they could try and repair the damage done she wanted the opportunity. Hell, she even wanted her job back. Working for Tony Stark as his assistant had been the most stressful, trying, and incredibly rewarding job she'd ever had.

How realistic an idea it was that they could return to the way they were when the way they were now was such a mess, she wasn't sure. Still, Pepper wasn't going to give up without a fight. She didn't have to ask where Tony was, no way. He was probably sleeping on the couch in the lab, where he always was these days. There had been a night or two where he'd been in the living room but after having been chased away by Pepper trying to get some work done, he hadn't done it since.

Pepper stopped in the living room anyway and looked around. The furniture had been pushed to the far wall and covered with tarps. Was Tony redecorating? That didn't matter right now, Pepper started toward the stairs and walked into the lab. The lights were still off and after she walked into the room she felt her blood run cold.

Tony wasn't anywhere to be seen. 

But the room wasn't empty.

No, instead she found Scarlett half naked on the couch! Worse than that she was wearing Tony's shirt, _just Tony's shirt_. Blankets were kicked off and on the floor in a pile. Her clothing lay neatly discarded and folded up nearby. Pepper's hands were shaking and without realizing it she dropped her car keys on the ground.

How could Tony move on so quickly? 

In the same night that they'd fought, where they hadn't even officially ended their relationship, he'd already slept with someone else? And with Scarlett of all people? The woman he claimed wasn't interfering in their relationship! She knew it! Pepper had just known it! All the fighting over whether or not he had something with her and here was the proof lying right in front of her half naked.

Scarlett sat up at the sound of keys against the floor but immediately regretting moving so quickly. Leaning against the back of the couch she blinked blurry eyes but still couldn’t seem to focus. Her side was radiating pain all the way down her legs and up into her chest, making it a struggle to breathe. Her right arm was asleep, so much so that it was dead weight.

"I knew it! I just knew it!" Pepper's voice cut through the silence of the lab like a knife and in a huff she walked straight to the couch where Scarlett sat.

"Oh great, hi Pepper." Scarlett muttered under her breath, wincing at the sound of the woman's voice. She was way too high pitched for this kind of a headache. Finally she managed to focus enough to see the woman's angry, bright red face.

"Are you kidding me?" Pepper shrieked.

"Not sure how I could be but… I didn't say… much?"

"You are unbelievable! You… you _slut!_ "

"Whoa, it's too early for that." Scarlett tried to joke but her side was throbbing so instead she pulled her knees close to her chest. " _Oh._ That explains it." She'd forgotten about taking Tony's shirt the night before. Most of that was still a blur of pain and nausea. Right now everything was kind of a blur of pain and nausea honestly.

"Oh, is right! What, did you think I wouldn't come back? We have one little fight and you just jump right in, huh?"

"This is definitely one of those situations where it is _not_ what it looks like." Scarlett argued but the truth was that if Pepper hadn't immediately jumped to conclusions and become so emotional she might have actually seen what _had_ happened. There were bloodied piles of gauze still all over the desk and Scarlett's clothes were drenched with blood. On top of that, there was a big sour looking stain along Scarlett's leg that was obviously dried blood.

"Not what it looks like? You're going to try to tell me that I don't know what this looks like? I don't know what the hell Tony sees in you! You are unbelievable!"

"I'm trying to explain, but you're not really listening. And my head is freakin' pounding…" Scarlett pinched the bridge of her nose and then recoiled when Pepper picked up her shirt from the floor and threw it right at her. Scarlett pushed it aside and then ducked when Pepper threw one of her boots at her.

"Despite what you and Tony might think I'm _not_ stupid!"

"I never thought you were stupid." Scarlett grit her teeth. "Not once."

"I know what you are, he might not see it but I know! I saw it from the beginning!"

"Yeah? Do you? What am I then, Pepper? Enlighten me!" Scarlett was regaining her senses but she had enough of this. She was tired of being treated like she'd done something wrong here. Hell, Scarlett had done plenty of things wrong and had wronged plenty of people but Pepper wasn't on the list of people that applied to. Hell, she'd defended Pepper, she'd defended her nasty attitude, had rationalized her bad behavior, and still Pepper was here judging _her_ for wearing Tony's shirt.

"You're a leech!" Pepper squealed. "You weaseled your way into Tony's pocket and now you think because you're in his good graces that you can just… replace me! Take everything from us!"

"You're not making sense! You're being emotional!"

"You're a… a home wrecker!"

"That one at least makes more sense."

"You're using him for your own personal gain, to make headlines… to… to…"

"What, to have an orgasm? Because trust me, this is not the face of a woman who just had an orgasm." Scarlett ducked again as another shoe was thrown right at her. "Okay, humor is not the way to go here." Scarlett carefully stood up, pulling Tony's shirt down to properly cover her. She wasn't shy, but parading around half naked wasn't helping the current situation. She picked up the blanket and wrapped it around her shoulders.

"I'm gone for one night and he calls you here? As a rebound? To get revenge? Is that it? You're his revenge for what I did?"

"Revenge? Huh, that's an interesting turn." Scarlett wondered what exactly they'd fought about the night before. Tony had been vague, but had obviously not been ready to talk about it. Pepper, on the other hand was lashing out with guilt and jealousy. "Listen Pepper, if you just calm down… let me talk for a second."

"Don't you tell me to calm down!"

"It's not what it…"

"Say it again, Miss Damien and I will have someone here to escort you out!"

"Would you listen to me for a second? I need your voice like four octaves lower…"

"No! No I will not! You do not get to tell me what to do! You do not get to sleep with my boyfriend and then tell me what I should be thinking!" Pepper was on the verge of tears, red in the face, angry, hurt, lashing out at Scarlett because it was easier than trying to understand the hurt she still felt in her heart.

"Except that's not what happened!" Scarlett's voice finally rose but she took a deep breath afterward to try and collect herself. This was stupid, she didn't have to have a screaming match with Pepper Potts.

"Slut! You're a slut and I tried to tell him that and…"

"I am not." Scarlett ran her tongue along her bottom teeth and felt her eye twitch. She'd tolerated this for long enough. Each time she tried to collect herself, Pepper's shrill voice grated on her nerves again. 

"I know well enough just what the papers report on, and I know how to find the truth in what they write and I told him that you were a manipulative slut, breaking hearts left and right just so you could get into the papers and on top of the ladder! And here we are! Look who finally has her proof!" Pepper shouted.

"Back off, Pepper." Scarlett lowered her voice threateningly.

"Or what, you'll sleep with someone else's boyfriend?"

"What do you care anyway?" Scarlett was done. She'd had enough. Enough of Pepper's misconceptions, enough of her emotional misdirected anger, enough of her shitty attitude.

"Excuse me?"

"Yeah, what do you care if I fucked him anyway? You're a terrible girlfriend, so why care now? What, does it hurt your sad little ego? Or because you actually found a reason to be this damn angry?"

"I…" Pepper stuttered and stepped back. "I am _not_ a terrible girlfriend! You have no idea…"

"Oh, don't start with me on that bullshit." Scarlett started toward her slowly. "Tony is obviously going through something! He's been drowning for months and you've done _nothing!_ I saw it from the moment he walked into my office, or crashed into my office, that he was barely keeping his head above water."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Where were you? Huh?"

"I…"

"Where the hell were you when he needed you? Nagging him that he wasn't doing enough? That he was doing all the wrong things?"

"He had responsibilities and…"

"And he already felt guilty about that! Then he finally finds something to get him just… a little less buried from the neck down and you try to put a stop to it at every turn? He wants to run his company again and you fight him on it? He wants to go outside and you get mad at him? He wants to work on something he's passionate about and it's the wrong focus?"

"I didn't say any of those things!"

"I watched it, Pepper, I saw it happen! For someone who says she's so smart and can see exactly what's going on in front of her you are ignoring everything around you! Everything except for directly effects you! Whatever the loyal, perfect Pepper Potts can cry a damn river about!" Scarlett had much more to say than she'd expected. Her head was swimming and she was sure she was going to regret this all very soon, but she was tired of being called names by someone who needed a big dose of reality thrown right in her face.

"That's not true, I have been there for him but he hasn't been there…"

"You watched him isolate himself! Collapse in this room to a point where he wouldn't go outside! You watched it happen! You enabled it! You let him suffer so you wouldn't have to solve his problems!"

"Tony isn't that simple!"

"What, you would have to fight with him about it? That hasn't seemed to be a problem when it's something you want. You fight for all the wrong reasons. Trust me, there is a time and a place for fighting in a relationship, hell it's usually a lot more fun than you make it, but none of what you've done has been helping anyone!"

"You have no idea what Tony is like! You have no idea! He shuts himself off and…"

"You let him! You knew damn well that he was suffering, that he wasn't himself and you did nothing! Inaction means disinterest Pepper, whether you want it to or not."

"It's not like that! He gets obsessive!"

"Did you take ten seconds to think about why?"

"He wouldn't tell me why!"

"Oh, _really?_ Look around, Pepper! Look around for ten fucking seconds!" Scarlett gestured to the suits that lined the wall and silenced while Pepper did the same. "These suits? The ones that you hate him working on, that take up all his time? What the hell do you think they're for? To keep him busy?"

"Avoiding dealing with me! With reality!"

"They were _for you_!" Scarlett shouted, taking a step closer to Pepper who stumbled away out of fear. She didn't exactly think that Scarlett would hit her but she also wouldn't put it past her either. "They were to protect you because he was scared! He was so obviously scared after everything that happened in New York and he built a goddamn army to keep you safe! Do you think he cared what happened to him after that? Really?"

"Stop it."

"He needed you! He needed someone, anyone!" Scarlett didn't back off and pointed an accusatory finger. "And you did _nothing._ " There was silence in the lab and Pepper stared at Scarlett with her heart in her throat. She didn't say anything at first because she knew it was true. She hadn't known then but now looking around her she could see it. Oh god, how wrong Pepper had been. She couldn't believe it, this couldn't have been happening!

"It… if you hadn't…" Pepper began quietly, trying to alleviate the guilt that was now resting directly inside her chest. She couldn't accept that Scarlett wasn't guilty in some way or another. "If you hadn't come into our lives then we would be fine! Tony's strong he would have pulled himself out of this and I would continue running the company while…"

"Do you really believe that? Are you that blind? That stubborn? The dam was breaking well before I showed up!"

"Don’t tell me what I am! You're not smarter than everyone else, Scarlett! Ever since Tony met you he's been an arrogant little shit, making bad decisions for himself and for the company! Bad judgment must be contagious to everyone around you because all I see are people falling for whatever womanly charm they think you have!" Just because Scarlett was right didn't mean that Pepper had to like her.

"Real mature."

"Shut up!" Pepper continued as Scarlett opened her mouth to retaliate. "Your company is but a blink of what Stark is. In ten years it's going to be buried in the ground and no one's going to know who you are and Stark Industries will still be there to pick up the slack. You're nothing but a publicity stunt, a devil in a red dress but that will fade too, you just wait! You're a slut who keeps breaking hearts and keeping secrets. Probably an addict and an abuser just like the papers say, wouldn't be surprised!"

Scarlett couldn't get a word in edgewise. She knew Pepper was just lashing out now for the sake of lashing out. Pepper was still convinced Scarlett had slept with Tony that night and there was no way, in that mood, she was going to see what actually happened.

"You think no one sees what happens in your aftermath? Everything you touch falls apart, or someone winds up hurt, or heartbroken! That's your problem, you don't see the big picture, Scarlett! Ten years from now? You might as well be dead and gone because no one will remember you."

"Enough! Enough!" Tony hurried into the room as Pepper went to continue berating Scarlett in any way she could think of. Jarvis had told him when Pepper had arrived and he'd gotten out of the shower as quickly as he could but had heard the fighting from the stairwell. He'd been just about to interrupt and come to Scarlett's aid when he'd heard the woman taking care of it herself. He'd stopped to listen and couldn't believe the things she'd said, the truths Scarlett was so completely aware of without Tony having to say a goddamn thing. 

"No, let her continue, Tony. I want to know what she has to say." Scarlett could feel her heart beating rapidly in her stomach and the nausea was still in full force.

"Wipe that smug look off of your face or I swear…" Pepper was redder than her hair and before she did something he knew she'd regret, Tony stepped in front of her. "Get out of my way, Tony! I'll deal with you after…"

"You need to calm down."

"Will everyone stop telling me to calm down?"

"Only if you calm down!"

"Go ahead and let her hit me, Tony. I'd love to see that." Scarlett's lip curled in anger.

"Wow, okay, that's enough you two." Tony wanted to make a joke about the girl on girl action he'd usually enjoy but knew that Pepper was not in the mood. Partially he was afraid of how well Scarlett would retaliate to such a move.

"Tony, you have no room to talk right now! I can't believe you! I was gone for what, a handful of hours before you had her here…"

"She's right, Pepper! It's not what it looks like!" Tony interrupted her and stepped away.

"I'm not stupid…"

"I know that! I know you're not stupid and you know I don't treat you like you are! Nothing happened! Nothing. God and… what's worse is she really was right… about all of that. This woman, Scarlett, was a stranger when she saw how much I was struggling and my best friend didn't. _You_ didn't."

"You wouldn’t let me, you know it's not that simple! I am not the villain here, Tony!"

"I'm not trying to say you are! But neither is she!" Tony grimaced, running his fingers through his still damp hair. "Scarlett was there for me when no one else was. She became my rock, without even meaning to and never asking anything in return. That should have been you!" Tony's head was probably the most level in the room, which felt strange even to him. Scarlett had to have been fuming to say what she'd said to Pepper. So far, Scarlett had been Pepper's biggest advocate. Or, at least had pretended to be. Now he knew what she truly felt.

"I'm not going to sit here and watch you play the victim. It took two people to destroy this relationship. You shut yourself off from me, I tried! I tried, Tony."

"You pushed me away at every turn."

"And you did the same!" Pepper felt the tears in her eyes.

"You won't listen to anyone!"

"Like you're so good at listening, Tony!"

"That's it! We're done, we're done. This is _done._ "

"I'm pretty sure it was done a long time ago." Pepper felt her hands shaking and backed away from Tony. She didn't bother looking back at Scarlett which was good because Scarlett realistically wasn't paying attention to either of them any longer. "I'm not leaving without my things, so don't think I'm going to just disappear like you wish I would! Couldn't get out of your life fast enough, could I?" Pepper shouted in anger, hurt. Tony followed after her as she went up the stairs, arguing all the way. 

Scarlett didn't watch them go, instead she had sat back down on the couch, sick to her stomach. Her hands were shaking too, not from the argument with Pepper but from something else. Even her toes felt funny. A few of them seemed painfully numb. It was more than the usual discomfort. She jumped alert when there was a thud from somewhere upstairs followed by more shouting. Tony and Pepper were both saying things they didn't mean, both being ridiculous.

Just as she was going to try and help diffuse the situation she heard a faint buzzing somewhere nearby. Scarlett slowly collected her footing and searched the lab for the sound. On the floor near Tony's discarded armor was her jacket and it was buzzing against the floor. Her phone was ringing. Picking it up, Scarlett wasn't all that surprised to find out that she had a dozen alerts waiting for her.

The buzzing stopped as she examined the screen. She'd missed the call but the number was familiar.

Natasha had been trying to call her.

Scarlett waited and sure enough the phone buzzed again. Natasha was incredibly persistent. Draping her jacket over her arm, Scarlett answered the phone.

"I can't talk right now." 

"Oh, we _have_ to talk. It's not optional." Natasha's voice was quiet and harsh on the other line.

"Not a good time." Scarlett's sing song tone was so much more convincing than she had expected.

"I know what you did."

"And I still can't talk right now."

"We have to talk. You have to come in." Natasha didn't sound angry, hell she didn't even sound cryptic.

Natasha sounded worried. 

"Bite me." Scarlett knew deep down she should go in. After all, she felt terrible. But she didn't _want_ to go in. Selfishly she didn't want to answer to S.H.I.E.L.D. for what she'd done. She didn't want any more treatments, any more condescending stares. She was beginning to feel like a sick child, freedom stripped of her. It had been easy to forget about it in favor of comforting Tony but the sound of Natasha's voice had brought it all back far too quickly. There was no denying she wasn't well. Even now she felt cold and clammy.

She had to see someone.

"I might just do that if you don't stop being so damn stubborn!" Natasha attempted a joke but got no response. Scarlett wasn't listening, her side was pulsing and so she stood with her jacket draped over her arm, phone to her ear and hand at her side. Her heart was beating strangely very slowly and she felt as though she could go to sleep at any moment. With her eyes closed the world still spun around her and the churning in her stomach threatened with a burning in her throat.

"Scarlett?" Natasha thought perhaps the line had died but that hadn't been the case, the connection was still strong and she could hear her friend's breathing. "Scarlett!" 

The floor was cold against her legs. Scarlett couldn't remember sitting down but she must have. 

"Scarlett, I swear if you don't…"

"God, keep your pants on." Scarlett put the phone back to her ear and rubbed her hand gingerly against her jaw line.

"You've got to come in." Natasha's voice was full of nervous tension.

"I told you that I'm busy."

"You didn't answer me."

"I just did."

"Not for like five minutes." Natasha hissed and Scarlett silenced. "Don't do it again, I'll be there in…"

"You're in California?"

"Yeah, I'm in California." Natasha sighed, relieved her friend responded this time. "I'm worried about you. Please come in."

"Things are really complicated right now." Scarlett could hear footsteps upstairs still and knew she had to get herself together. There was no chance she could let Tony see her like this. He had enough to deal with right now. Somehow she had to pretend to be okay. But how could she do that when she couldn't even remember sitting on the floor?

"I don't care."

"I have to take care of something before I come in."

"Scarlett…"

"Just trust me, okay?" 

"Fine." Much to Scarlett's surprise, Natasha agreed. "But soon or I'm coming to find you."

"I promise." Scarlett nodded with relief. "Can I go now?"

"Yeah." Natasha hung up without another word and Scarlett set her phone down at her side. What was happening to her? She had been doing so damn well! Jemma's words again pulsed through her thoughts. She was sick and then she pushed herself to limits she knew she shouldn't have. Scarlett wasn't that woman anymore but she couldn't accept it.

"Get it together, Scarlett." She sighed and then cleared her throat. There was no time to mope, no time to get caught in self depreciating thoughts. No, Scarlett had things to do. This was just another battle to win and after yesterday, Scarlett knew she could overcome just about anything. Sure, the odds were stacked against her but that used to be the fun of it.

But this time there was no actual enemy to face, no job to finish, nothing. No amount of skill was getting her out of this. Walking back to the couch, Scarlett fished the clothing and shoes that had been thrown at her from behind it and then carefully got dressed. The gauze wrapped around her had held through the night, thankfully. It sure didn't feel like it had, but there was no blood leaking through the bandage. Sure, a spot here or there but that was it. 

Pulling on her jacket, Scarlett checked in her phone's camera to make sure she looked all right. Disheveled, but all right. 

There was a loud slam of a door and then footsteps on the stairs. Tony stopped at the door to the lab and took a few calming breaths before running his hand habitually through his hair and walking toward Scarlett.

"I'm sorry about Pepper. She said some terrible things and… she was just… you know, hurt."

"I know." Scarlett nodded and took a few steps closer to him.

"You in my shirt, guessing she didn't even see the blood and… you know, I am who I am. Old habits die hard or something. She has no idea how much I wanted…"

"Look, Tony."

"There was no excuse for those things she said. You're not any of that. I… you don't deserve the way she's been treating you."

"It's really…"

"No, it's not okay. You've done nothing but help me and in return I've subjected you to my girlfriend's… well ex-girlfriend's wrath over and over again. You've been so patient and it's kind of amazing but…"

"Tony." Scarlett tried to get him to stop talking. He was flustered and rambling.

"But it's over now, in case you didn't hear all those horrible things she called me. I mean, they were much worse than what she called you if there's any consolation." Tony was avoiding looking at her, and on top of that he wasn't listening either. That or he didn't hear her.

"Tony!" Scarlett actually laughed and then groaned as he continued talking.

"She threw a shoe at you, I thought for sure you were going to knock her on her ass…"

"Hey!" Scarlett grabbed his wrist and pulled him closer. He stopped talking finally and she placed her hand on his cheek, letting go of his wrist. Finally he was nothing but silent and was looking right at her. His brown eyes were strangely clear, not conflicted. Hell, he looked really damn coherent for everything that had just happened. "Are you okay?" Scarlett looked to him seriously.

"Uh…" He hadn't been able to stop talking a minute ago and now he couldn't seem to find the words he needed. Was he okay? Oddly enough he felt okay. It sounded strange in his head, but he actually _was_ okay.

"That was a hell of a lot to deal with, are you okay?" Scarlett asked again, worry flickering through her. 

"I'm not the one who was woken up to Pepper throwing shit at me." Tony was oddly, flustered! This was not something he was familiar with. He went to talk again and then stopped, just to muse on all that had happened. "She came here and screamed at _you_ , accused _you_ of sleeping with me, called _you_ pretty much every angry girlfriend name in the book and _you_ … are asking _me_ if I'm okay?"

"Yeah, and you are still not answering me." Scarlett looked to him knowingly and Tony laughed in disbelief, wiping his hand over his jaw.

"Okay, first of all, I just want it out there for the record that all the things Pepper said of you? Not true, not even a little."

"I know that. And you said that too." Scarlett nodded. "I guess that's why it doesn't bother me so much."

"You're… I can't believe you're focusing on me here. I mean, I know it's kind of my thing to be the center of attention but all that and you are… just looking at me like…" Tony drifted off and shook his head in disbelief. "You genuinely give a shit."

"Of course I do."

"All that shit you said, you actually _meant_ it."

"All true." Scarlett nodded resolutely.

"You're really pale…" Tony touched her cheek and she cocked a curious eyebrow.

"You are all over the place."

"Yeah, I'm a little flustered. Is this…" He waved his hand lightly in front of him. "Is this what people feel like all the time when they meet me? It's kind of terrible."

"Well, your ego is still intact."

"You're amazing." Tony reluctantly pulled his hand back and took a deep breath. Scarlett shrugged one shoulder and smiled. "You fought for me, that was kind of crazy. I've never had anyone do that before. Most women are teaming up against me for something stupid I did…" Tony smiled a little.

"Probably deserved."

"Definitely."

"Not today though." Scarlett nodded and exhaled. "I'm sorry I lost my cool with her. Someone had to tell her that she wasn't the victim."

"Neither of us really is."

"Yeah, plus I have wanted to say all of that since the moment I met her." Scarlett laughed a little. "So don't thank me so much. It felt good."

"I don't think I thanked you, I mean I probably should and… I mean, I can count half a dozen ways that I could show you my gratitude right now except…" Tony nodded to her side. "How are you feeling? You look… like you're not feeling great."

"You sure do know how to sweet talk a lady." Scarlett joked but Tony reached for her arm and she pulled it away. "It's not good. I've got to see somebody. I talked to a friend whose going to take me to a discreet doctor." 

"Good, good…" Tony pulled his hand back, part of him wanting to ask her if he could come too. He wanted to make sure she was okay.

"I won't go if you're not okay." Scarlett began seriously and picked up his hand. "I'm not going to leave if you need me here. This thing can wait, stitches aren't going anywhere and I'm not bleeding anymore."

Tony wanted to tell her that she was out of her mind, that stitches were absolutely more important than Pepper's tantrum and his relationship issues. He wanted to tell her that after what she had done for him that morning, hell what she had done for him since he'd met her… that meant more than anything. What Tony wanted was to make sure she was okay. That in itself felt strange.

He wasn't exactly known for being super in tune with other people's needs and wants. But this was different.

More than anything what Tony wanted was to pull her close and press his lips to hers then carry her in his arms upstairs to the bedroom and spend the rest of the afternoon making love the way he'd wanted to since they'd first met. He wanted to make those pale cheeks red, to see her bite her lip from something other than anxiety for once.

Carefully he placed his hand at her other side and pulled her closer. He even moistened his lips, but there she was pale and staring at him with worry again. Worried for him. After everything that morning, Scarlett was worried for him.

"You're amazing." He nodded his head, trying to formulate how to say what was on his mind. Was it gross of him to have broken up with Pepper and then immediately confess that he'd been guilty of wanting to cheat on her for the longest time? This wasn't some stupid fling anymore, there was no chance of that being the way it was. Maybe it could have been at one point, a mistake, a wild night with too much alcohol but no way now. This relationship was so much more than that and as much as Tony yearned for the more physical side of things, he also wanted it to mean something.

"You keep saying that." Scarlett smiled a little bit. "I think you need to sit down." That tightness in her chest was back, not the one that came when she had her fits, but this one that only showed up when Tony put his hands on her. It wasn't a bad feeling, accompanied by warmth in her core and what she swore was exactly butterflies in her stomach. That expression had always felt stupid before but now she thought it nailed it.

"You really aren't upset about Pepper?"

"I don't care about Pepper, Tony." Scarlett began and reconsidered her words, though she had to admit the name did erase those butterflies pretty quickly. "I just want you to be okay."

"You really just want me to be happy, don't you?"

"Is that so weird?" Scarlett chuckled and placed her hand on his cheek again. Secretly she loved the feeling of his scruffy face on her palm. Tony nodded his head and leaned into her touch, resigning to the fact that this was not the time or the place that he was going to finally lift her in his arms and show her just what this all meant to him. Despite it all, he had a stupid smile on his face. Still, he'd never answered her and the question nagged in her mind. Plus her side was throbbing and she had to do something about it. Natasha's voice in her head pretty much killed any remaining butterflies. She had to go home, get changed and then find out where to meet Natasha. "I'm worried about you." Scarlett nodded, though partially she wasn't sure if she was parroting Natasha out of fear or if she was actually telling Tony she was worried. He practically melted against her touch.

"I'm fine. Would you believe I am… actually fine? It's almost a relief. I… That sounds terrible. It's not a relief, I really care about Pepper." Tony had to agree that so much thinking about Pepper was definitely making it easier to keep from doing what he ultimately longed to do. "But this has been a long time coming and we were both avoiding it and searching for reasons to end it. You were right. We both deserve to be happy and we were both so messed up because… more than anything we wanted to preserve something that we'd lost." Tony had an odd moment of clarity after Pepper had left the house.

Sure, Rhodey and Scarlett had said those exact things to him about half a dozen times in the last week alone but it wasn't until the reality of it had dawned on him without their help that it had actually sunken in. Those fears, those irrational anxieties all disappeared now that the blow had finally struck. He didn't have to wonder what would happen after he broke up with Pepper because it had finally happened.

"You're sure? You're not just saying you're okay?" Scarlett found herself brushing her thumb against his cheek and then pulled her hand back. She had to stop doing things like that and quick.

"I'm actually okay… for the first time in a long time, Scarlett, I'm okay."

"And you don't mind if I go get this taken care of?" Scarlett gestured to her side.

"I kind of encourage that you do that. You sorta scared the hell out of me."

"I know." Scarlett nodded and sighed. "I have my phone if you need anything."

"Hey, do you…" Tony began, wondering if she would actually let him go with her.

"God, she's impatient…" Scarlett muttered as her phone buzzed with a message from Natasha in her pocket. "It won't take long." She looked back up at Tony. "I interrupted you, sorry."

"It's nothing. Go get that looked at. Tell me how many stitches you wind up with." Tony grinned. "Don't send me a picture though, that's nasty."

"Aw, are you squeamish?"

"No, not squeamish just don't love pictures from beautiful women that aren't of the beautiful women."

"Still a pig, you must be fine." Scarlett scoffed and Tony chuckled in response, but felt regret swell in him for not insisting that he go with her to the doctor. "Seriously, don't suffer alone. If you need me you know how to find me." 

"Go." Tony nodded, shoving his hands into his pants pockets. She nodded at him and then after a moment of comfortable silence, turned away and started out of the basement. Tony watched the stairs until he heard the door close upstairs and Jarvis told him that she was well on her way. The house was empty.

It was his again. Just his.

He'd been terrified of this feeling for a very long time and yet now that it had finally become a reality it was kind of nice. 

Walking over to the desk he looked at the discarded wrappings and mess that had been made the night before. It was still gross. Tony wasn't going to mess with it right now. Across the room under a sheet was the project he'd started the night before. He could get to work on that. 

In the meantime, he'd preoccupy his thoughts on how he would begin the pursuit of Scarlett and how he'd convince her that it wasn't a rebound thing. It wasn't optional.

The way she made him feel from the moment they'd met, Tony would be an idiot not to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry again about not posting last week. It's actually been a pretty dreadful last few weeks for me emotionally. I'm getting it together now though, and god I love this story. It's what gets me through.


	38. Limitations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things have gone horribly wrong.

Scarlett sat, eyes closed, forehead against the steering wheel in front of the loft by the beach. The door to the car hung open and she could hear the car beeping annoyingly to warn her that the keys were still in the ignition. Each warm breeze from the ocean sent a chill through her like it were the tundra. She couldn't quite remember the ride home from Tony's Malibu Mansion but she knew it had been a struggle. What was she going to say to Natasha when she finally met up with her? 

Scarlett didn't regret what she'd done the night before. MedCo and the assholes they worked with got what they deserved.

Gingerly touching her side, she checked to make sure she wasn't bleeding and was relieved to find nothing on her hands even through her soiled shirt. As she leaned back in her seat, a wave of nausea flooded through her, rising into the back of her throat. Her skin was cold and clammy, uncomfortable to say the least. Taking slow deep breaths, Scarlett grit her teeth, turned off the engine, and got out of the car.

All she had to do was get changed and then head to S.H.I.E.L.D. There had to be some peppermints or ginger in her loft somewhere. She used to keep them in every room after her treatments with Dr. Ganter but admittedly she'd let her health slip in the weeks past. It had felt nice to be normal with someone, even if it was just an act. Turned out the only person she'd been fooling had been herself.

Now she was paying the price.

It took a frustrating amount of time for her to unlock the door to her loft. She dropped the damn keys three times and then getting them in the lock was a far more tedious task than it should have been. Inside, she tossed the keys onto the couch and shed her jacket onto the floor. Standing in the middle of her living room she took in the sight of the loft. She hadn't been there much, it was still unfamiliar. 

Just a little longer and then she could rest. With a determined deep breath she started forward, but then stopped as her foot dragged beneath her. Had it been caught on something? Nothing, she looked down and saw just her foot. Starting again, she had to grab onto barstool next to the counter to steady herself. But it slipped on the tile floor and Scarlett with it.

She tried to grab on the counter, but her fingers slipped and thwacked hard against the stone and she and the three nearby barstools all clattered onto the floor. Her feet felt numb and dull. Trying to push herself back up, Scarlett found her breath short in her lungs. It was tight, hard to breathe, like her throat was closing. What the hell was happening to her? Every time she inhaled it was like she couldn't exhale anymore, her breath caught in her throat. Each desperate attempt made her dizzy and she clawed at the floor, trying to regain herself.

Coughing, she felt the pain rack through her chest, desperate to try to breathe. She couldn't and every time she coughed her side racked with pain, throbbed, spreading into her chest and stomach. Each cough blinded her. She couldn't see and soon she was simply collapsing onto her stomach on the cold tile. Ears ringing she stared through the mess of hair that fell in her face and the world spun. The cold felt good against her head even as the edges of her vision dimmed. Her stomach was on fire and vaguely she thought she should get her phone and call Natasha. 

Reaching for her pocket, she instead touched the spot on her side where she'd been wounded. Her phone was in the jacket she'd discarded but as she pulled her hand away she saw her fingertips red with blood. As her vision faded, she saw the pool of red on white tile, growing steadily. She thought of crawling toward her jacket, but even as the thought crossed her mind, she succumbed to the darkness in her vision. 

Then there was nothing. 

No pain, no dreams, nothing.

Maybe it was finally over and she could rest. Nothing was ever that easy.

Hour later there was finally something again. A sound. Was it her heart beat? Her eyes wouldn't cooperate, lids heavy and body feeling weighted and held down. Still, she could hear. There were no voices, but she could hear footsteps nearby. Where from, she had no idea. Usually her senses were honed but everything felt muddled. Sounds came from too close and too far and she shifted. Whatever was beneath her was soft, but still oddly uncomfortable.

What had happened?

Scarlett didn't know. Part of her didn't care. Even the thought of moving was exhausting. For a brief few seconds she drifted off again but something nagged the back of her mind. She had to get up. 

Finally she managed to open her eyes and she swore she could feel the bags under them. At once she closed them again when her head pounded in response. The sickly taste of metal hung in her mouth and throat and when she swallowed it only became worse. Saliva was caught in her throat and suddenly she was struggling to breathe. Coughing and choking, Scarlett was able to clear the obstruction in her throat but her heart was pounding so hard she swore she could hear it in her ears. 

It was louder than she thought it should be.

The more she listened the less it sounded normal. That was because it wasn't her heart she was hearing. Scarlett's eyes snapped open at last and while her vision was blurry she found the source of the noise. 

It was a heart monitor. 

She was in a hospital. 

Wheezing, she leaned up to take in her surroundings but even as she did she could feel the world spinning all around her. Coughing, she grabbed for what she could feel tugging on her hair. There was an oxygen tube wrapped around her and tucked in her nose to help her breathe. She wouldn't need it, she hoped. 

Why was she here? Who had brought her to a hospital? Had she been in an accident? The details were fuzzy, nothing made sense. Irrational fears bit at her heels and though her hands were shaking and oddly numb, she still pulled free of the monitors on her chest. She grabbed at the IV in her arm and while it hurt, she grit her teeth and pulled it free of her flesh anyway.

The room was dim, she couldn't judge her location. 

A terrifying thought struck Scarlett just then as she forced herself to remain sitting upright on the hospital bed.

Nothing about this felt good or normal. 

Maybe the people in this hospital had done something to her. There was a chance it wasn't even a hospital at all but something far more sinister. It wouldn't be the first time she'd woken up in a horrid place under vile circumstances due to people with bad intent. There were voices on the other side of the door, voices she couldn't recognize. They swum all around her and Scarlett could barely focus on them to decipher even their gender. On the metal tray next to her bed there were various amenities, but no sharp medical tools that she could use in self defense.

She had to get out of there somehow.

It didn't matter who had actually brought her there or what had happened to her, the panic inside Scarlett was so fierce that she had given in to primal instincts. Digging in the drawer there with numbed, pained fingers, Scarlett found several packages of useless medical supplies. Cursing, she dug more frantically in the drawer below and was relieved to find scalpels. Removing one from the sterile plastic, Scarlett steadied it in her shaking hand. 

Closing her eyes she tried to picture her last moments before she had blacked out but it was all a blur. She saw desert if she focused enough.

"Why…" Her throat tasted terrible again and she coughed, covering her mouth to stifle the sound. Those voices were talking again and growing louder. She had to get out of bed, she had to get near the door and regain the upper hand. God, she could really break out of here in this condition? Her stomach was sending terrible shocks of pain all through her entire body every time she shifted.

She had no choice. 

Scarlett was tough, she could do this! There was no chance to hesitate, no way. She got out of bed and her feet nearly gave out under her, completely numb at first and then filled with pain that she swore radiated from her side. Every part of her was weak and her fingers trembled and went numb, but she leaned against the hospital bed and didn't fall. As the heart monitor alerted from the lack of signal, Scarlett shoved at the machine and searched for the buttons she knew would silence it.

The tiny words on the buttons blinked in and out of focus in front of her. Sweat dripped down her cheeks, and being unable to read the words made her nauseous. Scarlett closed her eyes and tried to recall a similar machine and pressed buttons she guessed would silence the noise. She must have gotten lucky because the sound stopped. Behind her eyes burned as she opened them again and her entire body felt suddenly cold.

She had to get out of there and get to help. Crouching carefully, Scarlett made her way to the door and leaned against the wall next to it, listening to the voices on the other side. There were people talking, three Scarlett thought but no voices she recognized. They sounded like they kept getting further away, but Scarlett was sure it was a trick of her own hearing. Without the oxygen tube she was finding it very difficult to breathe.

What had they done to her? The terrible, violent thought wouldn't leave her alone.

Her head and heart pulsed with danger. Crouching she held the side of her head, trying to silence the anxious trembling that had completely overcome her. She had to get it together, she had to get out of there, get fresh air, gather her wits about her and orient herself if she could. 

This wasn't like her.

Her vision was blurring and lungs ached, praying for more oxygen but she ignored them, she had to. These problems could be solved later.

Later couldn't come soon enough.

Her side stung again and just as she felt her thoughts clear enough to recall the damage that had been done, the door swung open.

"Where…" A familiar voice began but Scarlett jumped to her feet and held the scalpel at arm's length, aiming straight for the woman's neck.

"Ah!" Jemma dropped the clipboard in her hand and leapt backwards in surprise, panic swept across her face.

"Move!" Scarlett's voice was scratchy, her throat raw from coughing. Jemma was trembling from head to toe in a panic, there were voices behind her. "Now!"

"Scarlett, please…" Her voice was shaking and her face had gone completely pale.

"Simmons, what is it? What's going on?" Leo Fitz called from behind her.

"I-I… Scarlett, it's all right…" Jemma tried to speak soothingly, confused, but the panic in her eyes didn't ease Scarlett in the least.

"I said back off!" Scarlett hissed, taking a step toward her, her feet dragging on the floor. Her body was shaking and she couldn't feel her fingers and toes, but she kept her grip as tight as she could on the scalpel. Jemma backed up as she was asked, moving into a dark room behind her. One quick glance around the room made Scarlett dizzy and she stumbled and nearly fell.

There were computers and charts, medical supplies. It looked like they were testing something.

Testing her?

The panic made her jump to conclusions immediately, there was no other explanations for how she was feeling. Her stomach lurched and she nearly tumbled to the floor. Jemma rushed toward her to try and catch her but Scarlett regained herself and held the scalpel at the ready, hunched and holding her stomach with the other arm.

"No!" She hissed and Jemma stumbled into Leo who seemed unsure of what to do. "What the hell did you do to me?"

"Scarlett, nothing, please… please calm down!" Jemma's eyes were brimming with tears and she turned her gaze to Leo.

"We have to sedate her…" He whispered.

"If you touch me you'll regret it." Scarlett growled and Leo took a step back.

"We're… we didn't do anything to you, I swear Scarlett. You have to calm down!"

"And you need to back up."

"Go get Natasha." Jemma whispered.

"I'm not leaving you with her." Leo immediately objected.

"I'm fine, _go!_ " Reluctantly, Leo did as he was told, backing out of the room. "Scarlett, you're bleeding… please… you have to trust me."

"What did you do to me?" She whispered again and with a quick glance she saw blood dripping on the floor beneath her. The pain in her side was excruciating.

"N-nothing! Nothing I _swear…_ " Jemma was trembling, but no longer in fear of Scarlett. The woman was growing weaker in front of her. "We're trying to help you, I swear! I swear… you keep bleeding and… and nothing I do is helping! Nothing!"

"What are you talking about?" Scarlett hissed. The door swung open again and Natasha rushed in with Leo just behind her. Turning toward Natasha, Scarlett kept the scalpel held weakly but she was fading.

"Scarlett, you've got to get back into bed." Natasha started closer than Scarlett was comfortable with.

"I want to know what's happening to me." Scarlett retorted, turning her attention away from Jemma.

"Your body is rejecting my treatment, nothing I do is helping you! Please, you have to believe me." Jemma pled and Natasha held her hand up to silence her.

"You're sick, if you just calm down I'll explain."

Scarlett loosened her grip on the scalpel. The sight of her friend lessened the panic, but the loss of blood was alarming. She dropped the scalpel and held her side instead.

"Okay." Scarlett spoke, but her lips were tingling with numbness. Turning, she started slowly back into the room, but her feet were still dragging beneath her. Coughing, she leaned against the door frame and as she took a step forward she couldn't hold up her weight anymore.

Desperately she grabbed for something to hold her up and an entire tray of medical supplies scattered across the floor. Natasha rushed to her side and made an attempt to catch her to keep her from slamming against the hard floor. Scarlett cringed as Natasha grabbed her around the waist but there was no way the shorter woman was holding her up for long.

Natasha slid to the ground, but kept Scarlett from slamming to the floor. Scarlett couldn't breathe, gripping her chest she coughed and gagged and tried desperately to get back to her feet. Sweat dripped down her forehead, over her cheeks and neck, her curly hair sticking to her skin. Natasha grabbed her arm and pinned her in place, to keep her from trying to move.

Her lips were moving but Scarlett couldn't hear anything but a high pitched sound of alarm in her head. Natasha was yelling now, looking panicked and Scarlett felt her lungs ache, begging for air. Jemma, pale, appeared in view and held a clear mask over her face.

Oxygen flooded her lungs, her breathing still labored in spite of the aid but the screaming in Scarlett's head finally began to subside. Each move sent pain through her stomach and back. She tried to readjust but each time she moved, Natasha pinned her in place.

"Stop."

"You stop." Natasha whispered and adjust Scarlett so she was resting with her head in her lap, pushing her sweaty hair away from her face. Reaching to touch her side, Scarlett felt the blood, she could feel as it dripped beneath her. "You have to let us help you."

"What did you do to me?" Scarlett looked up at her friend and Natasha shook her head in a negative response. "You didn't."

"We didn't."

"I can't…" Scarlett tightened her grip on her side, but her fingers wouldn't make the fist she wanted to make. 

"Please, let me…" Jemma crouched carefully nearby and Scarlett didn't move or respond. Natasha nodded to let Jemma know it was okay. She pulled up Scarlett's hospital gown and began to address the bleeding on her side. Scarlett cringed and felt the pain nearly blind her. She could taste bile in her throat, and she gagged and choked. It was only then that she realized she was yelling in pain. Natasha pulled the oxygen away from her face and let Scarlett cough, stroking her hair all the while to help her. "Natasha, I don't know how to stop it…"

"Well figure it out." Natasha snapped. Scarlett grabbed at Natasha's wrist, the dark, sickly color of her blood on the woman's pale flesh sent a sudden jolt of clarity through her.

Panic still hung in her chest, she needed to breathe. Natasha guided the oxygen back over Scarlett's nose and mouth to help her get what she needed.

"I can't…" Scarlett wasn't sure how to say what she was feeling. The panic was gripping her too tightly.

"I need you to breathe." Natasha whispered soothingly, though even her voice seemed to be shaking, oddly maternal in a way Scarlett hadn't been aware Natasha was capable of. Scarlett nodded and closed her eyes, trying very hard to focus on calming the way that Natasha wanted her to. It wasn't that simple. Her thoughts kept drifting to hospitals past, waking up in danger, the desperate, animalistic need to get to safety still primal in her thoughts. Natasha grabbed her hand as she gripped desperately at the tile floor and held it close to her chest, placing it over her heart. "Just breathe with me."

"Tasha…" Scarlett whispered, though her voice sounded broken and haggard. Natasha squeezed her hand and this time she didn't close her eyes and instead stared up at the hand Natasha held. Her chest was rising and falling, but her heart was beating far faster than she would let on. Natasha was scared.

Natasha was _actually_ scared.

Scarlett grit her teeth and focused on breathing, but even at her best, there was only so much she could do. Every so often her vision darkened, threatening unconsciousness, but she fought it as hard as she could. Her hand slipped from Natasha's and was gingerly placed against her side again. 

"Shh…" Scarlett hadn't realized it, but Natasha had begun to whisper to her in Russian, whether it was a lullaby or just soothing words Scarlett couldn't make it out. She could barely think in English nonetheless other languages right now. The lullaby, the soothing words, they did nothing for the tense atmosphere.

"What's happening to me?" Scarlett finally managed, her voice sounding less broken, more like herself. Natasha stopped humming and her attention returned to Scarlett. Her eyes looked distant, dark, sad.

"You were injured." The woman spoke quietly, for the first time since they knew each other, Scarlett caught a hint of an accent there in her voice. "You shouldn't have left without seeing a doctor. It was foolish."

"Didn't know." Scarlett nodded carefully and Natasha tried to keep her from moving again. There was little to no fight left within Scarlett, she couldn't object. Everything hurt, the pain was so intense she was beginning to numb.

"You didn't know?"

"Had to save you." Scarlett smiled weakly and Natasha looked none too pleased by that response. "Didn't realize I was bleeding until Tony saw it."

"Stark?"

"Yeah." Scarlett exhaled and inhaled deeply. She could hear her breathing in her ears, crinkling, popping. "Must have been the adrenaline, Tasha."

"Do you know how it happened?" Natasha looked to Jemma knowingly as the woman continued at her side, trying to stop the bleeding.

"We have to get her back on an IV. She's going to bleed out." Jemma's voice was filled with sorrow and panic.

"Nasty knife." Scarlett closed her eyes, trying to remember what the piece of the knife had looked like that Tony had removed. "Must have been old and rusted, part of it broke. Had to pull it out."

Both women looked to Jemma who gasped in a sudden realization.

"I know how to help her." She nodded.

"Go." Natasha waved to her and looked back to Scarlett in her lap.

"Shouldn't have left." Scarlett nodded and Natasha nodded to agree. "How much trouble?"

"None." Natasha assured her. "No backlash. You're okay. Sorta glad you did it."

"Thought they might have killed you." Scarlett felt her stomach churn. The more she laid there, the sicker she felt. Please, if there was any sort of mercy in the world, don't make her throw up, not now. She was in enough pain, she didn't know if she could stay conscious with her muscles contracting enough to vomit. "Or worse."

"Worse?"

"Did this." Scarlett gestured lightly to herself and Natasha turned her gaze away for a long moment. Closing her eyes, Scarlett focused on the nausea in the back of her throat though she wasn't sure how much longer she could hold on. Natasha wouldn't let her go, her grip had tightened in her hair and her breathing was calculated. Scarlett could feel it in the _way_ she breathed. 

Natasha was coaching herself to stay calm.

Scarlett carefully placed her hand on the tile and Natasha objected but Scarlett managed to shove her off. Desperately she grabbed for something she could use as a bucket but there was nothing close. Sensing what she needed, Natasha leaned all the way back, grabbed a small plastic container, dumped the contents on the floor and brought it back. 

The nausea was too intense, so intense she couldn't hold it back anymore. Natasha held Scarlett's hair back as she retched into the bucket. Scarlett kept her eyes closed, she didn’t want to see what was coming out of her when she was feeling this incredibly awful. For once, her curiosity didn't get the better of her. It was a wonder Scarlett didn't pass out as the wound at her side pulled when she threw up.

After all was said and done, Scarlett allowed Natasha to guide her back into her lap.

"You're bleeding again." Natasha whispered carefully, reaching to touch the wound to try and at least slow it. "Simmons needs to get back…" She drifted off when Scarlett grabbed her wrist and pulled it away from her side.

"What's happening to me? It wasn't that bad." Scarlett barely felt like herself at all. None of it felt real. It felt like a terrible nightmare, a nightmare where time was slow and the pain was so ungodly real it was indescribable.

Natasha's eyes were sad again and this time she made no attempts to hide her sorrow.

"Tasha."

"You're dying." Natasha whispered, her voice cracking under the weight of her words. Scarlett felt a chill wash through her, a cold wave of realization. She let go of Natasha's wrist and placed her hand on the floor.

This couldn't be it.

There had to be more time.

Scarlett wasn't ready to die. She'd pushed so many things off, so many things that seemed so important now. Natasha had no soothing, comforting words, nothing at all to say. She wouldn't even look at Scarlett anymore. Instead she'd turned herself off emotionally and covered the wound again, trying to slow the bleeding. She was back to the stone faced woman Scarlett had known was feeling a river of emotions.

Scarlett had failed.

This was it. This was the end.

There was no point in fighting anymore. This was where fighting had gotten her. Scarlett closed her eyes and prayed for the first time in her life that unconsciousness would take her so she could stop thinking.

If everything could stop she would at least be in peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm thinking of writing a short tropey fic where Tony and Scarlett get drunk-married in Vegas... any thoughts?


	39. Cleanse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For the first time in a very long time (and in this story) Tony relaxes. Actually relaxes. No clenching, no tension, no fear. He's ready to move forward. There are two things about Tony that he is absolutely certain. When he puts his mind to something he will not stop until it's accomplished and when he wants something? He gets it. He knows what he wants. Now he just has to figure out how to get it.

The phone rang and rang.

No one ever picked up, there wasn't even a place for him to leave a message like their used to be. Tony hung up and leaned back in his computer chair. Scarlett had promised to call him when she'd gotten the chance but it had been too long now and he was worried.

Worried to the point that he'd basically called her every ten minutes for the last hour. After she'd left he'd cleaned up for a few minutes, worked on a few different projects and had ultimately fallen asleep on the couch where Scarlett had left all her blankets. They smelled like her.

They smelled like her _and_ him and while at first this had done quite a number on his imagination it had eventually been a comfort. When he woke up smelling like Scarlett but without her anywhere near him he'd felt oddly sad and alone.

When she hadn't called him at all that afternoon he'd finally resolved to call her instead. He didn't want to be that guy, the needy clingy friend who called at every little thought, but after seeing how she'd bled, after seeing how she'd been so sickly pale, he was worried and he thought he had every good reason to be.

Unfortunately, that worry had only grown worse as time passed. His imagination got away from him. Now in his computer chair, wrapped in the blanket he'd allowed Scarlett to sleep in Tony was running through article after article by Dianne Hendricks about Scarlett and S.H.I.E.L.D. There hadn't been much time for him to ponder her stories.

But now that he could, now that Tony really had time to absorb that Scarlett was very much involved with S.H.I.E.L.D. and she was very much on the run from someone in her past, he kept thinking back to the only articles that held any grain of truth to them and they were all written by the same woman.

Tony had saved them to bring with him wherever he went.

When the phone rang so long that the operator alerted him that the wireless caller he was trying to reach was unavailable Tony at last hung up.

"Redial, sir?" Jarvis chimed in when Tony made no move to do so himself.

"Worried, Jarvis?"

"A little, sir."

"Me too." Tony spun in his chair and leaned back. He was feeling antsy, he wasn't going to be able to sit idly by for much longer. But, he wasn't sure he should have been looking for Scarlett either. There had to be someone he could talk to about it, a way to get word on her without actually talking to her. She wasn't answering her phone, that had to be for good reason. Tony wasn't sure she'd tell him if anything was wrong either.

They were the same sort of stubborn, it seemed. As much as Tony didn't wish to burden her with any of his issues, she had the same wish only it seemed that her problems were more in the physical realm than his currently were.

He couldn't stop thinking about how much she had bled the night before and how quickly her condition deteriorated. The more he'd read through Dianne Hendricks' articles that barely touched on the matter of Scarlett's health the more he thought the reporter was definitely onto something. Whatever it was, it was something that had affected her to a point where she'd asked for S.H.I.E.L.D. assistance. Tony had no doubt that whatever her last occupation had been it was one where she could hold her own. She wouldn't have teamed up with S.H.I.E.L.D. if she didn't absolutely have to.

Plus, whenever Tony had brought them up in the past to feel around for information she had always redirected the conversation. He'd allowed it, but only because he hadn't wished to set off any panic she may feel. Scarlett's secrets were bursting at the seams and Tony was ready to rip them right open whether or not she was. He didn't want to push her but he got the distinct feeling that time was running out.

"Let's try something different." Tony sighed, so bundled up in the blanket that only his face peeked through. "Dial Nick Fury."

"Director Fury, sir?"

"Yeah, maybe he can help." Tony shrugged and waited as Jarvis connected the call.

"S.H.I.E.L.D. Operations, how may I direct your call?" A pleasant sounding man answered on the other line. Of course Nick Fury would give him a number for his secretary instead of one that would lead to him directly.

"This is Tony Stark, I'm calling to speak with Blackbeard." Tony joked.

"…do you mean Director Fury?"

"Yeah, who else would I mean?"

"Because of the eye patch."

"Yeah and the billowing coat and overall evil pirate presence, yeah that's why." Tony was puzzled as to why he was having to explain this to anyone else.

"I'm afraid he's not in the office, Mr. Stark."

"Can you connect me to his cell phone then? I know they're a bit past his time but pretty sure the director of S.H.I.E.L.D. is going to have one."

"I'm not authorized to release such information. May I take a message?"

"Not really something I want to talk about with some secretary."

"I can connect you to his office phone, if you like." 

"You just said he wasn't in the office."

"He isn't."

"So you want to connect me to a phone that isn't going to be answered is what you're saying."

"Well, yes I suppose that's true."

"Why don't you just connect me to his cell and we can pretend this conversation never happened."

"I'm afraid that I can't do that, Mr. Stark. I can however connect you to his…"

"Yeah, his office. Does that mean he has a voicemail? Because I have plenty to say to that."

"Yes, sir, you can leave him a message." The secretary seemed relieved that he could end this conversation.

"Fine, fine… but don't ask any favors from me in the future."

"Yes, Mr. Stark." The secretary fiddled with something on his phone before disappearing. Tony was left with nothing but ringing which annoyed him. He almost hung up. It couldn't hurt to leave a message. He had to speak to someone at S.H.I.E.L.D. about it and the only person he had left to contact there _was_ Director Fury.

Finally the ringing stopped and he was prompted to leave a message.

"Hey, cyclops, I need to talk to you about Scarlett Damien. Don't pretend you don't know who that is. Call me back or I'm going to have to get creative." Tony wiped the call out of the air and then spun again in his chair.

It was so damn quiet without anyone else in the house.

He'd been alone in the house for a very long time, months, but this felt different. The whole place felt alien, part of a life that he was no longer living. He'd said it before, but now he was ready to put it into action.

"It's time for a change." Tony sighed, but it wasn't a sad sigh, not a confused sigh, but rather a content one. He was finally ready to move on, to move forward. 

"We do need to plan a remodel, sir."

"Whole second floor has to go. I'm thinking about knocking down all the walls, rearranging the whole layout. Paint job, furniture, whole shebang. I need a change… a big change. Something to reflect… well, me! All this white, it feels too sterile."

"A new beginning, sir?"

"Just what I'm thinking. Thinking of connecting this to upstairs so I can look out at the ocean while I work. Elevator? We've never had one of those in Malibu. Overlooking the ocean, make it happen."

"Sir, that sounds like a brilliant plan."

"Are you saying I've been down here too long?"

"I'm saying that much of the world is beautiful and to ignore it for white walls for so long is a crime."

"Wow, Jarvis, that's actually kinda pretty."

"I'm only as capable as my creator, sir."

"Ouch." Tony winced but then laughed, sliding along the walls in his home on the blueprints that Jarvis had pulled up in front of him. "Take these and see what you can come up with. Call that designer… what's her face."

"Very specific, sir."

"You know what I want, do you have to argue with everything I say?"

"Yes, sir." Jarvis responded, but the blueprints disappeared and Tony once again rocked in his chair out of boredom. He couldn't sit still for much longer, he was going to lose his mind. There had to be something he could do.

He had to get out of the house.

Tony got up from his spot in the chair and started over to the line of luxury vehicles at the far end of the room.

"Jarvis, call Rhodey." Tony muttered under his breath. "And transfer it to the Maserati." 

"Yes, sir."

Tony checked his hair in the mirror and then got into his car. Rhodey picked up after the third ring, sounding nervous at the sound of Tony's voice. Tony thought perhaps Pepper had spoken to him first, but didn't ask. Rhodey agreed to meet him at the bar Tony liked in an hour's time.

It wouldn't take Tony an hour to get there, but he knew that not everyone could drop everything the way that he could. Most people weren't billionaire CEOs of global corporations who could set their own schedule.

Rhodey walked into the bar about a half an hour later than he wanted to. Tony was seated at the bar, talking animatedly to the bartender, a half empty glass in front of him. It was a far different sight than the one that had met him the last time they'd gone for a drink together. Tony had been a shell of himself then! This was far more what Colonel Rhodes expected when he thought of his friend. Rhodey adjusted his light jacket and sat next to Tony at the bar.

"So she's ignoring me, right?" Tony tapped his fingers on the bar. "And who ignores me? I mean that's not a thing, _no one_ ignores me, I don't let them." With a smirk on his face and a sideways glance at Rhodey, Tony continued. "So I suit up and fly to her office where I crash right through the balcony window. Oh, she was so damn mad…"

"Is that a true story?" The bartender's eyes were wide as he turned to Rhodey, recognizing him from previous visits.

"The fact that Tony's really annoying when he's ignored is absolutely true, so my guess is the rest is probably also true." Rhodey joked and Tony smacked him on the back with a smile. Rhodey returned the gesture and Tony blinked and coughed dramatically like he'd been assaulted.

"You're late."

"I told you I was in a meeting." Rhodey smiled warily at his friend. Despite his good mood and jovial mannerisms, Tony was off. He could read his friend like a book after so many years and knew that there was a reason for his call. Tony rarely just wanted to shoot the shit these days like he had once done every damn day. "Besides, you are the last person on the planet who gets to give _me_ a hard time for being late. I had to deal with ten years, more than ten years, of you being late!"

"Get a drink, come on." Tony nodded toward a table and placed far too much cash on the bar for a tip.

"Just water for me." Rhodey gestured to the bartender before following Tony to the table across the bar where they'd sat what felt like forever ago when they'd last met there.

"Boring. Always so damn boring."

"I have things to do later."

"That girlfriend of yours, perhaps? Or are you still being _boring_ and waiting?"

"Wow." Rhodey laughed.

"Did you miss me?"

"I did, actually." Rhodey took his seat, dragging it a ways from the table and facing his friend. He leaned his elbows on his knees and scrutinized his friend. "What's going on? Is everything all right? You freaked me out calling me like that…"

"Everything's fine." Tony smiled a little, then straightened his face, tapped the table and thanked the bartender who brought Rhodey his glass of water with a slice of lime. "Or I think it is. The line has recently been blurred as to what is actually fine."

"Then what is it? What do you need? It seemed… urgent."

"I broke up with Pepper." Tony said easily and as the words came from his lips he felt a rush of that familiar anxiety with everything that accompanied that statement. He looked away from Rhodey and down at his half empty glass of Jack and Coke. Rhodey stared at his friend for a long moment before leaning back in his chair with a thoughtful sigh. He wasn't sure if that was good or bad. Should he celebrate or mourn?

"What happened?"

"I know what you're thinking. I don't seem like a guy who just broke up with his girlfriend."

"No, I've seen you break up with girlfriends before and this isn't how you do it. Usually there's way more liquor and a lot more women. And most important a lot less _me_."

"It was a long time coming, Rhodes." Tony leaned against the table and pushed away his drink. He wasn't looking to get drunk. The hangover from the other night had been enough to keep him from wanting that for awhile yet. "It's all thanks to you, honestly."

"How's that?" Rhodey seemed slightly alarmed. He certainly hoped that this wasn't a roundabout way of Tony blaming his romantic woes on him. Tony had a way of doing that, to pass the blame when he knew exactly where it really lay. 

"I was uh…" Tony started, not sure how to say what was really on his mind. After Pepper left he'd sat and thought about everything, about how this had all come to be. Sure, Scarlett had really been there for him, had opened his eyes to a great many things but someone else had been too. Rhodey had been there from the beginning. No matter how difficult Tony could be, Rhodey never gave up on him. "You already know this but I've kind of been having a hard time lately."

"Yeah, you kinda have."

"Things are done with Pepper because I… stopped pretending nothing was wrong."

Rhodey didn't have to say anything, Tony knew he understood and already knew how aware his best friend was of the situation.

"Every damn day was a struggle, Rhodes. After… New York…" Tony struggled to even say the words but powered through it. He'd practiced it a few times, had looked at a few pictures. The only way it would get easier would be for him to stop avoiding it. He didn't want to never see Manhattan again. Tony _loved_ Manhattan. He had to start associating it with all those happy memories instead of the ones that had nearly ended his life, that had nearly leveled the entire eastern seaboard. 

He shivered.

"After New York I couldn't shake the fear it could happen again and that I couldn't stop it. I saw things that day, Rhodes, things that… I don't want anyone else to ever have to see."

"Tony-"

"Let me finish." Tony continued. "Turns out that feeling was Post Traumatic Stress." It was the first time Tony had actually said that out loud to anyone. Or even to himself. He was suffering from PTSD and it sounded silly, even now, but it was the damn truth. "You knew before I did. I know you did." He glanced at his friend at last who nodded. "I had these… moments where I would be alone and it felt like the world was collapsing. I couldn't breathe, couldn't think, couldn't… shake it no matter how much I tried. I guess these were panic attacks. When I wasn't having panic attacks I had nightmares. I hadn't slept sometimes for… days at a time. Naps here or there but for weeks I'd just go… and go until I couldn't anymore. I hoped if I passed out then there wouldn't be room for nightmares but there was always room for that. There still is."

"I thought I was losing my mind, honestly." Tony scoffed. "I've never dealt with anything like this before, ya know? I'm… Tony Stark, I don't do anxiety or panic. It's just not my schtick."

"It's not _anyone's_ schtick, Tony."

"I know that now, okay? But it didn't make sense. I guess I refused to believe it. I tried… I tried to tell Pepper months ago when I first started having the nightmares. She didn't get it either. It wasn't exactly her thing and I think I expected her to know more than I did. I didn't try hard enough to tell her and she pushed me away. I just… didn't want to bother her with it. I was lucky that she stuck with me the way she did after some of the choices I'd made and I left it at that."

"Bad idea." Rhodey nodded.

"Yeah, very bad idea." Tony laughed half heartedly. "It only got worse. Compounded until I wasn't me anymore. You… that day we met here. You forced me to get out of the house. Forced me to do something that used to be so easy for me."

"I was worried."

"You're always worried so I just sort of write it off when you are."

"Thanks for that."

"You were right to be worried this time."

"Yeah, you didn't want to go to parties, sure sign something is wrong, Tony."

"I was afraid of what could happen there. What if I couldn't protect anyone? It's why the suit came with me everywhere I went."

"That's a really normal fear after everything you've seen these last few years, Tony."

"Hell if I'm supposed to know. I was a businessman, a playboy, not a… not a military guy. I was never a man of violence."

"Says the world's once largest distributor of weaponry."

"It was about money and power then, you know."

"I know." Rhodey oddly felt sad for his friend. He knew that this moment was a good thing, an epiphany. Tony had come a long way from the man he'd been the last time they'd had a drink here.

"That day I was with you was the first time I thought that maybe what was going on with Pepper and I was a direct result of what I was going through. From there, it was how I realized that it was not only that but the opposite too. I wanted so badly to protect her that I drove her away and she wanted me to be someone I wasn't so badly that she was angry with me all the time. We should have ended it a long time ago, but fear trapped us in this stupid little box. I resented her the more I understood what was happening to me."

"I tried to talk to her about it a few timew." Rhodey whispered hesitantly and Tony nodded his head. "She was in denial, too. You both had it rough."

"I know." Tony tapped his fingers again on the table and shifted in his seat. It was a struggle to keep still, as it had once always been. He felt like he'd done nothing for the last year but sit still and now he wanted to get all this energy that had built up out of his system but finding where to begin was a struggle. His phone beeped and he checked if it was Scarlett or Nick Fury. It was neither and so he ignored it. Jarvis was simply showing him schematics to approve for the redesign and décor ideas. "Funny thing is, as hard as it was for me to see it, as hard as it was for Pepper to admit? Scarlett saw it right away."

"Scarlett?"

"Yeah." Tony nodded with a smile. "There's… a pretty big part of that first meeting that I've left out to everyone I tell." He furrowed his brow and recounted how he'd had a breakdown in the middle of her meeting, how the sight of the skyline in Manhattan had sent the memories of the incident there flooding back and had nearly crippled him. It was difficult to put into words at first but when Rhodey looked nothing but understanding, Tony found he couldn't stop talking about it. Something let go as he did. It was freeing, cathartic, for someone he trusted and cared about so deeply like Rhodey to understand and validate that he had been struggling. "She was the first person to say those words to me, Rhodes. To tell me I had PTSD and that it was okay."

"I didn't know how to say it." Rhodey admitted with a shrug. "I wanted to, believe me I wanted to but…"

"I'm difficult, I know. She didn't care." Tony laughed. "I needed that. I never would have gone to see her that day if I hadn't found out about her from you. If you hadn't sent me home with that magazine I never would have pursued Refuge or Scarlett."

"…I don't suppose she has anything to do with this breakup with Pepper." Rhodey spoke warily.

"No! No…" Tony began but hesitated, pursed his lips and rephrased. "Well yeah, but not in the way that you are thinking. I didn't do anything stupid." Tony knew that Rhodey was already aware of his suspicions of Pepper cheating on him. He'd never confirmed that for his friend, somehow he hadn't even considered calling him after all that. He had wanted to, of course, but he couldn't think that far ahead.

"Okay, then… what?"

Oddly, this was the part that had Tony struggling the most. He recounted his fight with Pepper after Scarlett had left the other day. How she had admitted to kissing Happy Hogan and while Tony had been upset by the betrayal he had been oddly more upset that he had held back for so long with Scarlett to spare Pepper. But the truth was, Tony would never regret having held back for so long. He never wanted Pepper to hurt like that, no matter how sour the relationship had wound up being in the long run. She had been his friend, his confidant and for a short time they really had been happy together. Now they weren't what the other needed, they both deserved more. Tony explained that he had called Scarlett in his upset, that despite her exhaustion she came to him. He recounted some of that night, but left out most of the details.

Most of what Tony focused on was the fight with Pepper that morning and the way Scarlett had defended him. He swore he felt his chest puff out with pride as he described it. And even though the story wound up with Pepper and Tony screaming at each other and parting ways, somehow it still felt like a good story, a good ending.

And the story somehow ended where he'd begun that day. Tony knew what he wanted to do next, but doing it was a bit more difficult than he liked to admit.

"I know there's going to be crazy fallout… press, media… just Pepper and Happy in general but god, can I say that it feels good? Am I awful for feeling good about this?" Tony furrowed his brow and pinched the bridge of his nose. "It's been looming over us for so long that it's not as… scary as I expected it to be. I was so afraid of that moment, Rhodey that I built it into something colossally awful. When the axe finally dropped it was… a flood of relief. Nothing's nearly as terrible as I expected it to be. My world didn't fall apart. I'm here and… I feel good and now we can all find a way to move forward."

"No, that's not terrible." Rhodey smiled and drained the remainder of the water in his glass. "That's actually pretty healthy."

"Words I thought you'd never use to describe me."

"Consider us both surprised." Rhodey teased and then nodded toward the television. "So what happens now?"

"You mean… with Scarlett, I assume."

"Yeah, of course I mean with Scarlett. You've got to… take her out right? The fact that you haven't done that yet sort of astounds me."

"Yeah, yeah it's just… Well it's more complicated than that."

"What makes it so complicated? Seems pretty simple to me. You're single, take her somewhere crazy like Paris or Sydney."

Tony looked all around him to make sure no one was listening to them and then scooted closer in his chair and placed a folder on the table in front of him. He didn't let Rhodey take it yet.

"She's in some kind of trouble." Tony whispered and then slid the folder he'd been holding to Rhodey who opened it and flipped through article after article, scanning headlines for more information.

"I've seen some of these. Tabloid journalism…"

"No, no… this lady… this Dianne Hendricks? She knows what she's talking about… for the most part. I think some of it is guess work but she's onto something." Tony whispered covertly.

"Don't add fuel to the fire Tony. Don't look for problems to fix. She's no damsel, trust me."

"Oh, I know she's not but…" Tony drifted off. "She knew I was struggling because she was struggling too and we bonded over that. I'm not trying to be perverse or anything, or obsessed but…"

"Tony this is the folder of a man obsessed."

"I can't stop thinking about it." Tony flipped a few of the articles over and then handed Rhodey a handwritten account of what he'd been through the other night with her. Rhodey paled just reading it.

"You're serious?"

"You can't tell anyone any of this."

"I know." Rhodey nodded his head. "This is bad. If you're saying any of what this Hendricks woman wrote was true then…"

"I know that, I do. It's going to be like making out with a loaded gun."

"That's a weird mental image, but sure." Rhodey tried to joke but closed the folder and pulled it close to him. He was going to read every one of these articles. "Are you hesitating because of it?"

"No." Tony shook his head and answered immediately. "But I think she will."

"Yeah, I could see that." Rhodey leaned back in his chair.

"I know she's in over her head with something she won't tell me about. Whether it's what Mrs. Hendricks speculates in any of these articles with her numerous theories or something completely different, she's in way over her head. I know it sounds silly but for some reason I think that… she wants to protect me from it."

"That doesn't sound silly."

"But the truth is that I don't care." Tony laughed and for a moment he felt like a giddy, stupid teenager. "It's bull headed but I don't care what it is. I've known what I wanted for a really long time and she's at the top of the damn list. I held back because of Pepper, because I thought maybe I was clinging to her because she helped me but it's not it at all. I want her."

"I know how you get when you want something, Tony." Rhodey hesitated.

"I have to do something, Rhodes. I'm done hiding."

"Good." Rhodey nodded with a smile though he stuck the folder into his briefcase after getting a nod from Tony who was more than surprised. "What?"

"I'm not going to lie, I was pretty sure that you were preparing a speech about why I should back off and how I was being crazy."

"You like her, Tony." Rhodey looked to him seriously. "You really, really like her. There are women across this bar in short skirts who you haven't looked at once. You like her."

Tony shrugged then peered around Rhodey and found that there really were three women across the bar, gathered together. On top of that they were very pretty and they were looking occasionally in his direction. 

Huh. How about that?

"About to sound really corny but you've got to follow your heart." Rhodey smiled as Tony turned back to him.

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

"One more question."

"Go for it."

"Saw the Maserati out there, is it new?"

"Year old, probably getting the next one soon." Tony shrugged.

"Any chance there's a suit hidden in there?"

"Nope." Tony leaned back in his chair, proud that he'd left home without being Iron Man for the first time in a very long time. "We're just out for a drink, Rhodes. If the world starts to collapse while we're in this bar? We'll figure it out when it happens."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tony really needed this chapter... and the tension from the last one had to break up a little bit! Thanks so much for reading, guys. It may not seem like you're doing much but it's been such a joy for me to share this.


	40. Brick Wall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ah, some friendship development but will it really last? Only time will tell. Scarlett's out of the woods but at what cost? She can feel the tide really rolling in, but will she survive it? And will her friends?

Scarlett was being held down.

There was nothing she could do to break free.

People were screaming in pain all around her but she couldn't see them, couldn't find them. Voices from every corner of her senses assaulted her, blaming her for their pain. Scarlett tossed and turned, or at least tried to, sweat dripping down her cheeks, her neck.

Forcing her eyes open Scarlett broke free of her mental bonds and sat upright. The first thing she felt was the blinding pain in her side. Hunching over she held her stomach and much to her relief, it was covered and dry. No more blood. One tug at the sheets around her and she saw that there really was no blood, not even a hint of it staining the light colored sheets. 

Her stomach did a flip, but overall she still felt much improved to when she'd last woken up. Rubbing her eyes, Scarlett tested her limbs carefully to make sure she could feel them, that they could work. Her hand was sore from where she'd tugged the IV free when she'd lost her mind in the hospital. There was a mark on her arm from where she must have had another. She wasn't in the hospital anymore though. Curtains were pulled closed and her room was dark, but someone had brought her back to the loft she'd rented in Malibu. She was relieved but only for a moment.

Maybe someone had brought her here so she could die in peace, but judging by how she felt so much better Scarlett highly doubted that was the case. It was much more likely that she was out of the woods and someone knew how she despised hospitals. Jemma must have found a way to counteract whatever had made her react so poorly to that old knife in her side.

Closing her eyes and laying back, Scarlett considered going back to sleep. Every nerve in her body was sore, weary from her ordeal. There had been no chance that what had happened in the hospital had been a dream. Absentmindedly she wondered how long she had been out of it. It had to have been awhile for her to feel so much better. She hadn't been sleeping well for a long while, maybe she'd just given into exhaustion at last. It was more likely that she'd been drugged to keep her from having another fit and attacking another S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent with a scalpel.

Guilt sunk in her stomach again as she considered her dreams and what she already knew they meant. The longer she laid awake, even with her eyes closed, Scarlett knew she wasn't alone and she didn't have to guess who else was there. Peeking one eye open, Scarlett caught sight of Natasha Romanoff on a comfortable gray couch at the far end of the room. The redhead was flipping through notes in a file, but was purposely avoiding looking at Scarlett.

Great, now she _really_ had a babysitter. Closing her eyes again, Scarlett saw flashes of those last few moments in her mind. She was almost sure then that when she closed her eyes she wasn't waking back up. But there she was, awake again. Was it selfish of her to go back to sleep? To want to be left alone? To partially have wished that was it?

Definitely.

It didn't stop her feeling it but she was surprised by how much regret followed.

"How are you feeling, Damien?" Natasha's voice came from much closer than the couch and Scarlett felt a weight on the corner of the large bed. Scarlett didn't respond and laid still with her eyes closed. Natasha knew she was awake, there were no doubts about that but Scarlett didn't really have an answer for her.

The last words she remembered hearing were that she was going to die. Natasha had told her she was dying.

To scare her? As some terrible price to pay for the sins she'd committed? Or to try and take this all very seriously? Scarlett was internalizing again. Natasha wasn't like that, or at least Scarlett didn't actually think she was. It was weariness and pain speaking in her mind, getting the best of her. It was side effects from medication, anxiety, feelings Scarlett had no idea how to actually deal with in practice.

Natasha didn't move and simply waited for her friend's response but none ever came.

"What's going on with Tony Stark?" If Scarlett wasn't going to respond about her own well being, Natasha would try something different. This time Scarlett responded but didn't open her eyes.

"Work. Just work."

"Ah." Natasha nodded and watched her before turning away again and looking back toward the files she'd discarded on the couch. "You called for him in your sleep."

Scarlett grumbled and sat up at last, narrowing her eyes.

"Not funny."

"I'm serious." Natasha continued, turning toward her on the bed. "Several times actually on several occasions. Hours ago."

"Ugh," Scarlett grumbled, wiping the sleep away from her eyes. Like things weren't embarrassing enough these past few months. Losing the capability to take care of herself, having to bend to everyone else's will, having to admit she was weak. Now she was apparently talking about Tony in her sleep. She hadn't even been had exciting dreams! It was very unfair.

"Don't worry, it wasn't dirty talk." Natasha clarified when Scarlett seemed frustrated beyond words.

"Good." Scarlett sighed and tilted her head to the side.

"It sounded sad more than anything."

"You're no good at this profiling thing." Scarlett pointed at her and leaned back against the pillows once she'd propped them up. Natasha threw her a look and Scarlett shrugged. "I'm afraid he's going to wind up hurt."

"He's Iron Man. Way stronger than you think. I've seen it in action."

"Doesn't make it anymore okay that it's a possibility." Scarlett sighed and closed her eyes, placing her hand over her side. This entire conversation made her uncomfortable and she was way too damn tired to pretend it didn't.

Natasha scrutinized her, adjusting herself so she sat cross legged at the foot of the bed, watching her curiously.

"You like him." Natasha didn't smile. Scarlett opened her eyes again and shook her head no. "You _like_ him."

"I don't get to do that anymore, remember?" Scarlett rolled her eyes. "How many stitches did this thing take to close up? Feels like someone did a real hack job." The change of subject didn't take but it wasn't for lack of trying. "What was the verdict?"

Natasha watched Scarlett sadly, her blue eyes seeing far too much for Scarlett's liking. Scarlett was defeated. It was hard to watch. In truth, Natasha knew she was party to that.

"How are you feeling?" She asked again since she had been ignored earlier and Scarlett once more narrowed her eyes. Natasha was ignoring her on purpose.

"You tell me."

"That knife… must have been old and filthy." Natasha began, standing up and walking around to the side of the bed. Scarlett didn't maintain eye contact. "Wish you had told us about it earlier. Had to have something terrible on it. Jemma guessed rust remover. Between it being in your bloodstream and there being remnants of the broken blade itself everything went to hell. I guess you must have forgotten all the drugs you're on because there was a chemical imbalance on a massive scale. Everything we did to try and keep your blood from thinning made you sicker. Ganter thought you were rejecting treatment far earlier than anticipated. We were preparing for the end."

"Good thing I have my will filed away already." Scarlett retorted and it was Natasha this time whose eyes narrowed. "So you fixed it?"

"Simmons did. Once she knew what the problem was it was easy. Had to stop medications, all sorts of other medical crap. Basically told her to do what she had to do. But then we had to drug you up again and that's no fun. At least you're not hallucinating this time."

"I wasn't hallucinating." Scarlett took a deep breath. "I didn't know where I was. I felt like someone had drugged me. The last time that happened I was being tortured so fight or flight kicked in. Didn't recognized Jemma because I couldn't see properly. Happy?"

"Not really." Natasha grimaced, folding her arms over her chest. "You couldn't see?" When Scarlett had nothing to say, Natasha walked back toward the couch and sat down. Awkward tense silence filled the air and Scarlett partially wanted to ask if she had a permanent babysitter now though she knew that wasn't it. She had to stop taking cheap shots at Natasha. It wasn't her fault this had happened. Scarlett had been so scared that Natasha would die because of her that she'd done unspeakable things.

"You told me…" Scarlett began, unsure if she should say what was on her mind or not. This wasn't their relationship, it never was. They'd never had the kind of time this sort of relationship required. "You told me I was dying. I didn't expect to wake up."

Natasha nodded, though she had partially hoped Scarlett wouldn’t remember any of what had happened in that hospital. When she closed her eyes she could still see it. It would haunt her for the rest of her days. "I thought you were."

"Me too." Scarlett nodded.

"Technically… you still are."

"When did you decide that? That's pretty morbid." 

"When I realized how bad this all really is."

"It's not _that_ bad Natasha." 

"How can you say that? You almost died! You just told me you couldn't see, Scarlett." Natasha tilted her head in disbelief.

"But I didn't." Scarlett scoffed and leaned away from the pillows. "How many times have I almost died? I'm still here. Why do you keep treating me like I've already got one foot in the grave?" 

"It's not like that."

"Yeah, it really is." Scarlett nodded with a heavy sigh. "I don't get it."

"It's because I'm…" Natasha seemed to mouth the words but not actually say them out loud. Scarlett leaned her head back in frustration. Sometimes being what they were, these emotional discussions were frustratingly difficult. "I'm scared. Are you happy now?" 

"No." Scarlett sighed. "Very unhappy actually. I don't need you to be scared for me. I'm capable."

"Not against this, this is different. If it was a gun pointed at you I'd feel better but it's not." Natasha spoke flatly, grimly. "Someone should be scared for you because… you sure aren't."

Scarlett groped on her nightstand for her phone and was glad that it was there waiting for her. She pulled it open and saw that there were dozens of missed calls and text messages. Almost all of them were from Tony. That wouldn't help her argument with Natasha at all, but she couldn't let him worry any longer so she shot him a text.

At least now he would know she was okay. She'd been honest. That wound took much more out of her than she had expected. He didn't need to know how much at this point. It seemed impersonal to do so via text message. Setting her phone down, Scarlett thought it wasn't enough so she picked it up and asked if he was all right too. After all, he'd just gone through a major breakup. It seemed a little petty to think about considering all that she'd experienced in the past few days, but it was still important to her.

Natasha was watching her, irritated that she'd ignored the confrontation in favor of her phone. It wasn't like she had to guess why.

"You should quit the job. I think it's time to reel it in." Natasha sighed heavily.

"Stop it." Scarlett rolled her eyes.

"I'm serious. Refuge, Stark Industries. You knew it had to end eventually."

"Enough." Scarlett shoved her phone aside in frustration.

"No." Natasha folded the file closed and threw it onto the coffee table. "Someone needs to keep you tied to reality."

"You think I'm not tied to reality?" Scarlett pointed at her in irritation. "You have no idea how aware I am of just what's happening to me. You read all this crap on a piece of paper, you sit and watch me from afar and think that I'm screwing around? I know what's happening to me, Romanoff. I know better than anyone else! But I'm not going to roll over and wait for this thing to kick me in the ass while I'm down. I don't need this bullshit from you of all people." 

"You're making bad decisions at every turn. You're not in any position to…"

"Screw you." Scarlett snapped. "I came to you for help not because I _had_ to but because I decided to. I could've died alone after going on a killing spree but I _didn't_ do that! I didn't do that because I wanted a babysitter either, you know. I didn't come to you because I wanted you to take care of me."

"Then why did you come to me?" Natasha was quiet and it was an unsettling feeling.

"I needed a friend." Scarlett felt a cold chill run through her. "It was selfish and stupid. I've been making so many of those selfish and stupid decisions lately but I… when am I going to get the chance to do that again? I needed a friend… _need_ a friend." Closing her eyes Scarlett adjusted uncomfortably under the covers. "You used to have so much faith in me I thought you would be the best person to go to and lord knows where any of my other associates are these days anyway. Hunter would have just worried, Noriyuki would have gotten himself killed. But you're not like them."

"I'm just trying to keep you safe the best way I know how."

"I know." Scarlett held her hand over her side, feeling her heartbeat through her wound. "I'm going to be okay. I have to keep saying that. But every time you're around it seems like you don't believe that. And if you don't believe I'm going to be okay then I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do."

Natasha watched Scarlett and felt the guilt creep in. For a second she turned away with her hands on her hips. She had the distinct feeling Scarlett had closed her eyes to purposely avoid eye contact. It would be just like her friend to be overly confident in the face of such adversity and here was Natasha undermining that false confidence at every turn. She only wanted Scarlett to be careful, to not do anything that would possibly endanger her further. Their friendship had become fragile, not because it was lacking but rather because the chances of it ending were very high.

Scarlett felt the weight of the bed shift again next to her and the covers moving. Natasha sat next to her with a sigh and picked up her friend's hand, pulling it away from her side. Scarlett opened her eyes and didn't look at her friend but instead gave her hand a reassuring squeeze.

Nothing felt real anymore.

Scarlett wasn't sure how she was supposed to be feeling at all. It was numbing. Between waking up in her bed again, that feverish moment in the hospital, this all felt like a terrible nightmare. But it wasn't and part of her understood it was real while the other part was probably still in denial. There was an unfamiliar heat behind her eyes as Natasha sat next to her simply holding her hands. 

It shouldn't have hit her so hard in that moment, but it did. Everything Natasha kept saying, about how she was sick, how she was dying, how it was a battle she couldn't fight, Scarlett knew it was all true better than anyone else but she very rarely let on. It was a sort of denial, a denial that she couldn't let go of or she was afraid she'd lose hope altogether. Scarlett had to sniffle, her sinuses were suddenly completely plugged with whatever emotion was creeping up behind her eyes. 

When had that happened? Scarlett hated the feeling, waited for Natasha to ridicule her but was surprised when the redhead didn't.

"I don't want you to die." Natasha whispered after exhaling deeply. Scarlett stole a sideways glance at her friend and swallowed the lump in her throat. Natasha's face was almost as red as her hair, not with embarrassment but with something else. This was all so terribly awkward, how did regular people deal with these emotions every damn day?

"I'm not going to." Scarlett shrugged and cleared her throat. "You're not going to get all mooshy on me, are you?"

"No. I was just saying that as a fact… I don't want that."

"And I already told you. I don't plan on it anytime soon. We still have too much trouble to get into. Though so far this side of the law is pretty boring." Scarlett smiled a bit and Natasha laughed.

"Give it time."

"All right, all right." Scarlett squeezed Natasha's hand before forcing it free. "Hand holding is weird, just gotta tell ya."

"You looked like you needed a hand to hold."

"I didn't, you're being weird."

" _You're_ being weird."

"Well stop it. I don't like this."

"Aw, are you uncomfortable with emotions sweetie?" Natasha pursed her lips.

"Yuck, _sweetie_ , that's enough of that too."

"I'm going to call you that from now on."

"All right, schnookums. Just you wait until I do that in front of your boss."

"Bring it." 

"Hey, Tasha?" Scarlett drifted off and the redhead watched her curiously. "Do you still have faith in me?"

"Yes." Natasha answered without a second thought and Scarlett smiled with a nod. That was more like it. Natasha hadn't been herself and neither had Scarlett. These moments weren't easy for them and Scarlett generally hid things with humor. Natasha tried her best to do the same but it didn't always come off as genuine. Something about Natasha's overall demeanor made her seem cold and heartless but that just wasn't the case. The woman's emotions ran deep and Scarlett would never say that to her face but she knew it was true.

Scarlett held her side again and exhaled deeply. It hurt every time she moved but it was still world's better than it had been the last time she'd woken up. Her fingers numbed every so often, residual effects from medication she had to guess. Vaguely Scarlett wondered how long she'd been unconscious but she'd check the date on her phone eventually instead of asking.

Her phone buzzed and slid on the nightstand. Both Scarlett and Natasha stared at it as Scarlett very discreetly reached over and dimmed the screen by turning it over. When she leaned back up Natasha was giving her a knowing look.

"Don't do it." Scarlett whispered threateningly.

"He likes you."

"What did I just say?"

"He really likes you." Natasha adjusted so her legs were over the blankets.

"He can't. We've been through this."

"You like him."

"I don't." Scarlett spoke deadpan.

"Stop being so cryptic about the relationship stuff for a minute."

"No."

"You've been hot for him since you met him. Bennett was right."

"Jinx? Oh god, I forgot about that card reading bullshit." Scarlett grimaced. "You're being silly. That gossip chain still giggling about it? I thought I told you to forward those conversations to me."

"It's just like you to go after a guy like Tony Stark." Natasha shrugged as she really sat and thought about it. "Charismatic, loaded, dangerous, self destructive, selfish, brilliant…"

"Hey, I do not go after guys with money." Scarlett scoffed and then stuttered on her words. "The rest is probably right, but not the money thing. I've got my own money." She couldn't help but laugh.

"For all you know some of those guys were super loaded…"

"And I would have never known or cared." Scarlett laughed and held her hands up and spoke loudly over Natasha who continued to argue. "Enough, enough! You are not only being ridiculous, you are _actually_ ridiculous. Like as a person. All of this, it's ridiculous and I've had just about enough of the ridiculousness."

"Oh and you're not?"

"You can go now. I'm pretty sure you don't have to be here anymore." Scarlett tapped the covers. "I'm much, much better and I'll be on my feet in just a few minutes… but… your job here is done… So shoo!" Scarlett stretched her words playfully and hopefully.

"I know that I don't have to be here." Natasha nodded but didn't go anywhere.

"Wow, you do not take a hint."

"I don't really take orders either so you're wasting your time."

"I swear, if my side wasn't so screwed up you would be out the door."

"You could try but we've had this fight before and no one wins."

"You're small. I could pick you up and just… drop you outside."

"You're injured, I could just punch you in the side and…"

"Mean. So mean. You're so cruel and _small_. And mean."

"When you're better, rematch."

"I thought you weren't allowed to be violent for no reason anymore. Aren't you one of the good guys now or something?"

"So are you."

"I don't know how I feel about that." Scarlett sighed. "My moral compass is all sorts of messed up. I just don't always do the right thing, ya know? There's a good chance of me disappearing after all of this."

"You're one of the heroes now. Just… like me, you're… stained with blood. Makes us less afraid to make the difficult decisions."

"I'm not sure that will ever change, Tasha."

"You already have."

"Ugh, stop being sweet I hate it. You're so gross." Scarlett groaned and Natasha shoved her arm. "I'm trying to do better. You can't make me stop working with Refuge. It's the only good thing I've ever really done. It's my legacy now."

"You'll get the chance to do more." Natasha nodded. "Work Refuge remotely, okay? One less stress? Traveling is exhausting."

"Fine." Scarlett could agree to that for now. She was tired of traveling back and forth anyway. But that didn't answer every question she had on the matter anyway. "You really think I should quit this thing with Stark Industries? With Tony?"

"As someone who is scared for what's going to come next? Absolutely." Natasha nodded seriously. She was relieved they'd gotten so much out in the open at the very least. 

"Great. So very helpful."

"As your friend? I think you should take a risk on something other than your life for once."

"I'm pretty sure I was not talking about _that._ " Scarlett tilted her head toward Natasha on the pillow.

"You should be talking about it. Everyone else is."

"I was talking about work."

"I'm sure you can find some way to write it off as work if you're creative. Dealing with Stark always felt like work to me. Not sure how much work it'll be for _you_ given his _lengthy_ history…"

"Tasha… oh my god. I don't even know what to say. Who are you and what have you done with my friend?"

"Jinx started a pool to see how long it would take for you two to finally give in. She's winning so far."

"Oh, that's… that's _cute._ " Scarlett looked toward her phone and felt a strange tug in her chest as it buzzed again. "I have to think about it."

"You're allowed to have fun."

"You don't feel like the same person you were twenty minutes ago."

"I'm trying to be more friendly. It's a recent thing. Someone told me I was being a rigid bitch or something."

"So funny." Scarlett closed her eyes and held her side.

"I'm going to stay for the rest of the day." Natasha whispered after a moment. "Just in case."

"Thanks." Scarlett nodded slowly. "I could actually use the company. As long as you get off the Stark thing, it's pathetic."

"I like to watch you squirm. It's such a rare thing."

"Maybe I don't want you to stay."

"Too bad." 


	41. Bye Bye Birdie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scarlett feels like crap. Yet, she has too much to do to feel like crap. SHIELD is finally giving her fieldwork, even if the timing feels slightly misplaced, she has a business to run, and Tony is on the top of her to do list. 
> 
> Nothing ever does go according to plan though, does it? 
> 
> Meet Mikhail. Meet The Crown. This is all very bad news for Scarlett.

High pitched whirring in Scarlett's ears made her toss and turn.

Louder and louder it grew until it was a persistent, irritating ring. No matter how she tried to ignore it, it wouldn't stop. Finally Scarlett gave in and opened her eyes to greet the day. Still, the ringing continued, over and over, dying down then starting up again. It made her head spinning. Her whole head felt like it was pulsing. This had to be the worst hangover she'd had in years.

Still, there was that infernal ringing.

Turning sideways she saw the screen on her phone alight.

"Ah, that would do it." She grumbled. No wonder the ringing wouldn't go away. Lazily she grasped for her phone, prepared to tell Tony that if this wasn't an emergency he was in some serious trouble, especially since he'd kept her up most of the night texting. Natasha had been there when she'd last closed her eyes but from the look and feel of things, Scarlett was finally alone.

Except for the damn ringing phone. Sloppily she smacked the screen, shoved the phone to her ear and muttered a nearly incoherent series of greetings.

"Uh…" Michelangela Pierce's voice spoke with some concern on the other end of the line. "Are you all right? Romanoff told me you were well enough to take this. Was she wrong?"

"Nope, I'm fine. Was sleeping." Scarlett sat up and inhaled sharply, forcing herself to shake off the grog of sleep. What was Mickey going to ask her to do? Why would S.H.I.E.L.D. offer her fieldwork _now_ of all times? Not that she wasn't up for the challenge but she had been positive that her health scare the other day was going to keep her off of the field for awhile and far away from guns. There was a very tiny part of Scarlett that was nervous to put herself in harm's way again. She _knew_ she would be fine but she was having trouble shaking that feeling of encroaching death that still haunted her innermost thoughts. Natasha's voice telling her she was dying was sort of repeating over and over in there. It was very annoying.

The scare may have been just that but it had definitely left Scarlett rattled. That same tiny part of Scarlett that was apprehensive was also very tired of fighting in general and didn't want to go into the field at all. If she had so little time left to live, as little as everyone else seemed to think, then she wanted to spend that time trying to find a cure or with Tony.

Both those things felt very selfish but Scarlett was finally willing to be a little selfish. 

"Are you sure?" Mickey sounded less than convinced.

"Yep, just surprised. You're giving me something S.H.I.E.L.D. related to do? _Really?_ "

"Don't get too excited, it's nothing particularly interesting."

"Well, considering when I was healthy no one gave me fieldwork, it comes as a surprise after last week."

"You see, about that…" Mickey cleared her throat awkwardly and Scarlett could vaguely hear her tapping her fingers against her desk nervously.

"Oh, okay. I see." Scarlett blinked the weariness away. It felt like she'd spent the whole night partying but she hadn't touched a drop of liquor in days. Lord did she want to but she hadn't. Natasha had warned her that the amount of medication Fitz and Simmons had to give her would interact very poorly with alcohol.

_Natasha._

She'd been why Scarlett wasn't allowed to do any fieldwork. Scarlett couldn't be mad about that now, she'd decided everything before this was water under the bridge. Besides, Tasha had only been trying to protect her in her own little way. Maybe giving her this assignment was the woman's way of saying she was sorry for not trusting her. Or something.

As the room spun around her Scarlett wished that Natasha had kept up with that instead. There was no reason, no excuse, for Scarlett to keep her hands clean now. Someone really did need to be the voice of reason, because these days it certainly wasn't Scarlett. Hell, she'd spent more time thinking about Tony in the last 48 hours than she had about her own health and she'd nearly died. She was a little ashamed that most of those thoughts had been of a more carnal nature, but only a little. That was what she thought about after having nearly died. Talk about priorities.

"It's nothing important, just some recon stuff. One of our teams that monitors satellite images all over the globe caught something nearby. There's this pier with an old factory on it? Looks like it was a loading dock at some point. Shut down nearly a decade ago after being fined for unsafe practices. Since then the property has passed from owner to owner without any success or renovation. Last week there's been some consistent suspicious activity on the satellite imagery so we thought we should send someone to check it out."

"What does this have to do with Scott? With me?" Scarlett practically waddled toward the bathroom and stole a glimpse at her reflection in the mirror. She looked better than she expected considering she felt like the dirt on the bottom of someone's shoe. Still pale, still exhausted, but still surprisingly like herself.

"It's funny that you ask that because we've been researching a bunch of cases dating back decades to try and find where MedCo really gained such momentum. There's this terror group, very elusive, not your ordinary run of the mill stuff. They're called the Ten Rings and they just… every terror cell we've infiltrated in the last year has some connection to them. They're dedicated to the destruction of world peace, which sounds silly but…"

"How long is this explanation, exactly?" Scarlett ignored the new information. She'd heard of the Ten Rings before, it wasn't new information. There'd been a handful of times where she'd run into members or groups involved with them, but it was a long time ago. However, Scarlett felt as if she didn't get out the door and work on her _current_ issues she wouldn't live long enough to help with dissolving the Ten Rings.

"Oh, right uh… sorry!" Mickey laughed sheepishly. "Task at hand, got it. You see, ever since the other day in Manhattan we've been really looking into…"

"Pierce, you're killing me. Literally, time keeps ticking. Can you focus?"

"Right! Right. Sorry, again! There's just… a ton of new information right now and I'm a little overwhelmed. Scott, MedCo, focus! Right. Okay, so I was telling you about the Ten Rings, yes?"

"I know enough to get by."

"Well, MedCo has some deep roots connected to them it seems."

"Really?"

"MedCo wasn't always known by that name. It looks like the whole thing started as Mikhail's brain child. He recruited other powerful and like minded people to his cause, mostly to keep up financing. Only the rich and intelligent could join. He was in bed with a ton of other nasty organizations, including the Ten Rings. They only performed small acts of terror and only in Russia until he met Marcia Edmonton and Erick Reno. After that it became all about viral weaponry, which he was already dabbling with beforehand. Mikhail published an article once about how germs were the future of warfare, whether they were an assistance or a hindrance, the army with the most advanced mutations and viruses would be king. It was actually very well written and well meaning. That was before he turned all super villain."

"You say published like… an actual paper."

"Turns out he used to be an esteemed surgeon in Moscow. Very smart, very decorated. Several doctorates."

"Great, Stalin with a PhD."

"You know, it's funny that you mention Stalin, we've been working with someone from that era…"

"Is this on point?"

"No, no it's not… just, you have more allies than you think you do." Mickey cleared her throat and continued. "We don't know what turned Mikhail just that about twenty years ago he founded this organization that catered to a series of people with power, money, and too much free time. They were called The Crown."

"Of course they were. What a dick."

"That's almost exactly what I said." Mickey laughed. "For years this group was invisible in Russia. Almost silently they infected cities with deadly illnesses and watched to see what their reaction would be. Sometimes they worked with pharmaceutical companies hoping to make money for distribution of a cure. Then they created cocktails to sell to groups like the Ten Rings. It was despicable, the things this group took credit for back then. Eventually they had a calling card, it was very recognizable and found at every scene after September of 1998."

"Let me guess, it was a crown? Egomaniacs are so predictable."

"You guessed it… almost. It was yellow like a crown but it was dripping with blood, or something. Either way it was dripping and the pattern left behind sort of looks like a skull."

"So, either this pier you're sending me to has this symbol of we just went down the longest tangent ever."

"You're pretty good at this."

"I know." Scarlett quickly dug out clothing appropriate for such a task, blue jeans, tank top, leather jacket. In her living room she found that Natasha had left her a present of sorts. There was a large crate and inside were weapons and ammunition of many varieties. Scarlett scoffed. Like she _didn't_ already have her own weapons lying around. Still, the gesture was appreciated. Scarlett dragged the crate into the basement locked it away.

"Can we count on you to take a look? There's been no movement detected so there's no need for…"

"I'm bringing weapons. If Mikhail is using this dock for something here then it's going to be guarded. I'm not taking any more risks than necessary."

"Understood."

"Give me a few minutes to get ready then I'll head out."

"One thing. As a S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent…"

"I'm _not_ a S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent, we've been through this. I'm a consultant, technically."

"Still, while on a S.H.I.E.L.D. field mission and with a case as delicate as yours we require that all Agents have a handler."

"Why even send me then?

"Because… well, surprise, it's me! I'm your handler."

"Oh, okay. Phone stuff. I can handle that."

"Give me a buzz when you're ready to go and I'll send you coordinates. Then I can be your eyes on the satellite above and backup if things go wrong. Natasha said she left you with S.H.I.E.L.D. communicators, weapons, supplies, the works. So just plug in and we'll be ready to roll."

"Sounds like a plan." Scarlett hung up before Mickey could say more. The S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent was very sweet and usually Scarlett had much more patience for conversation but right now Scarlett's ears were still ringing. Originally she hadn't planned on showering but it had been _days_ since she'd been able to so she had to. The wound on her side was looking much better. It was still nasty, but better.

As the warm water washed over her, her thoughts drifted to Tony.

It was selfish to want to go see him more than she wanted to go on this field mission, right? It'd been days since she'd seen him and she very much wanted to see him.

With him suddenly single things between them were so much more tempting.

Tempting enough that the warmth in the pit of her stomach was suddenly very overwhelming and uncomfortable. It'd been a _very_ long time since she'd considered giving in to that particular feeling.

Damnit, she should not have been thinking about Tony while wet and naked. Yet, there she was daydreaming about him in the shower.

There was no time for that so she dried off, dressed, armed herself, and got into the car, practically running away from the frustration that had overwhelmed her in the shower. She'd retrieved the communication gear that Natasha left behind and once inside the car slipped it inside her ear, placing her phone as a backup in her jacket pocket.

"I've transferred the coordinates to your phone, you should have them already." Mickey spoke without prompting. 

"Thanks." Scarlett was a little surprised by the silence that fell on the line after how chatty Mickey had been only moments ago. Apparently she was very serious about her work after all. Scarlett wasn't used to dealing with Mickey as her extra set of eyes, usually she had Jinx so this felt strange.

"I suggest a southern approach with caution. It's the best escape route too so…"

"Yep, leaving the car behind just in case. Not my first rodeo." Scarlett assured Mickey as she parked her car a quarter mile away, hidden on the side of the road.

"I know, but this is my job after all."

"I know that too. I'm not trying to be snippy, I swear. I just sound bitchy when I'm tired." Scarlett wasn't lying but she wasn't telling the truth either. She was very tired, but not from lack of sleep. Her head was in a fog from the damn medicine and every so often her left ear was still ringing. Whatever Simmons had given her had to have been potent. While a few weeks ago Scarlett had only _thought_ she was experiencing side effects now she definitely knew she was.

"Give me casual updates of your progress, okay? If you get in a bind say the word and I'll be… well I have a lot of options. I can blow stuff up from here, did you know that?"

"Walking north. Definitely looks abandoned." Scarlett spoke as the building came into view. She stopped short of the loading dock and behind an old rusted chain link fence that barred off the area and stared past the gravel. There were large shipping containers lined up all along the gravel and they looked newer than what she'd expect to find there. "Maybe not so abandoned. The lights in these lamps were recently replaced, shattered glass on the ground tells me they broke one." Scarlett carefully scaled the fence and dusted herself off on the other side, crouching low. "Where'd satellite imagery pick up The Crown?"

"Shipping crate on the edge of the pier."

"That sounds like a trap." Scarlett hesitated, slowly moving through the gravel toward the shipping containers. Maybe she'd become paranoid but being led straight to the edge of a pier with nowhere to go but the ocean felt like a fucking trap. "Shouldn't have sent me. This is a trap, definitely a trap."

"What makes you say that?"

"Mostly because I've seen it before? This is a trap. Trust me."

"Miss Damien, you are so much smarter than we give you credit for." A thick Russian voice interrupted Mickey on her communicator. "I'm a big fan of your work. I've been following your career for some time.

Scarlett stayed hidden next to the shipping container. Could they see her? Were they tracking her? Of course it was a trap, it was a big stupid trap and she'd walked right into it. S.H.I.E.L.D. had sent her right into it. Sometimes she swore that there were MedCo Agents inside S.H.I.E.L.D. pulling the damn strings.

That thought made Scarlett wince. She'd never considered that before.

"My name is Mikhail but something tells me that you already know that." He continued. Scarlett stole a glance beyond her hiding place. There was nothing out of the ordinary, no one was watching her from what she could see. What she could hear, however, was telling her very differently. "S.H.I.E.L.D. is not known for their violence, usually. But you? You are a woman of violence. How many deaths are you responsible for? A dozen? Maybe more than that?"

"I don't really keep a tally. Sort of a morbid thing to do."

"No, no a dozen is too small a number. That was before you slaughtered my men in Manhattan. Brings the number up to twenty that I know about at least."

"The blood on my hands is nothing compared to yours."

"Perhaps time will change that for us both, Miss Damien."

"What do you want?" Scarlett wasn't sure if Mickey could hear the conversation and if she was trying to help in any way. She got the distinct feeling that no, S.H.I.E.L.D. could no longer hear any of what was happening.

"Many more will die because of you."

Scarlett felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. It looked like her private device was still secure. She took out one of the earpieces she'd been given from S.H.I.E.L.D. and replaced it with her own bluetooth device. Much to her surprise, Mickey wasn't shouting direction at her, instead it was a robotic voice. Mickey instructed her that she'd hacked back into the call and was now listening silently, tracing and intercepting Mikhail's communications. The S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent was guiding her. Very smart.

Scarlett moved quietly between shipping containers.

"Nathan will likely be the first. He's weak. Thinks he can save you. He has no idea just how pointless it is. You lured him into your parlor just like the others."

Scarlett snuck past the shipping containers and around to the large factory attached to the wooden pier. The old brick was worn, white paint chipping away and covered with graffiti but Scarlett could see tracks in the gravel and dirt. This place was definitely still being used, that meant MedCo was tampering with satellite imagery. Either that or someone at S.H.I.E.L.D. had planted said imagery. 

"Ah, then there's Stark. He's a bit trickier but… we're far better at this than you guess. S.H.I.E.L.D. made a deal with you and so we have aligned ourselves against them and all of their associates." Scarlett froze at long last. That was what she had feared from the very beginning. In the back of her mind she could hear Natasha reminding her that Tony knew very well how to protect himself. Of all the people she had to worry about, Tony Stark was on the very bottom of the list.

"Did you like what we did with your parents? Their blood is all over your hands. Or do you not care? I heard you weren't very fond of them."

Scarlett wanted to tell Mikhail to go eat a dick but she didn't want to give up her location if she could help it.

Still, she _really_ wanted to.

Mickey guided her inside the factory through an already open docking bay. Scarlett texted back that there was nothing inside.

"Abort, Scarlett, abort!" Mickey hissed through the communicator but Mikhail spoke over her.

"They will all die. Even the sweet girl on the phone. Even Miss Romanoff. They will all die."

Scarlett turned to run out the door but was met with a group of four armed men. Behind her she could hear the footsteps of two more. So much for it being empty. She'd known this was an ambush, she should have just left instead of running inside! But her gut had told her she had to go, that despite the danger something important was there.

"I'm going to ask you nicely to get rid of the communicator and drop the phone." Mikhail stepped between the group of armed militants and walked toward her. He was large and stocky, older with grayed hair and cold gray eyes.

Scarlett didn't respond and simply stared at him, buying time for the next move she'd make. She'd gotten out of way tougher spots than this before. From first glance Mikhail didn't appear under the influence of any drugs that MedCo had been apparently dealing out to their superiors. Then again, Marcia had appeared normal until she'd become a biologically hazardous smear on a New York street.

"Hang up or I will make you." Mikhail's smile was twisted and it made Scarlett's stomach turn. He _wanted_ her to resist. He was looking for an excuse to hurt her.

"All right." Scarlett hung up the phone and pulled the communicator out of her ear along with the bluetooth she'd put in. She still had the other in her pocket, she'd replace them when she got the chance. Showing him the screen, she assured him the call had ended and threw the earpieces to the ground.

"That's a good girl."

Six men but three of them had moved to guard various entrances. Two loading bays and a back door. There was an old window about ten feet away from her. The glass was already broken but if she could break it a little more she could get out. Ten feet was too much however, she'd be shot before she got there… unless she did something drastic.

It wouldn't be the first time.

"Now put the phone down."

"It's kind of a really nice phone. I don't want to do that." Scarlett clicked her tongue in annoyance. Mikhail moved close and smacked the phone right out of her hand, grabbed her shoulders and threw her hard to the ground. Scarlett didn't resist. There was no point in causing herself further injury when she was in such a bad position.

On the ground her phone buzzed, not even cracked. She could see on the screen that Tony was calling her this time. Cursing, Scarlett wished more than ever that she had told him some semblance of the truth. Then again, did MedCo really want Iron Man as their enemy? She guessed not.

"How armed are you? Should I guess? Or should we do this the fun way?"

"Gross. Never really been into old creepy dudes. I mean, maybe it sounds a little judgmental but you're not really my time. I've been known to date my fair share of douchebags but this is a pretty big leap from douchebag to megalomaniacal evil asshole." Scarlett counted on Mikhail hitting her as she got to her knees.

"You will do whatever I tell you to do." Mikhail crouched close and smacked her hard across the face. Scarlett didn't even turn into the blow, instead she held her gaze and flipped him off with both hands and smiled. This time he hit her so hard that she felt the skin next to her eye split and bleed. Then he hit her again and she fell to the side. Counting to ten, Scarlett pretended to groan in pain and held the wound on her side. "I almost forgot. You're wounded. We heard! What a shame, I was hoping you'd resist. If you come willingly the pain will be… minimal. For now."

Scarlett slowly made an attempt to sit up but feigned falling back to the ground with pain. She had to appear weak to get out of this. The guards weren't even taking her seriously anymore! They actually thought she was going to go with them without a fight. Hilarious!

"We knew you would become weak and frail at some point, Scarlett. This has been mostly a waiting game for us until now."

Scarlett counted the footsteps of the men around her. Two of them were immediate threats, Mikhail was armed, the other four were too far away to make a difference. She would be out the window before they could pull away from their duties and shoot. The odds were they were protect Mikhail anyway. Scarlett wasn't running away, she just needed to gain an advantage. The nearest guard was about three feet away from her. He would server her very well.

Scarlett reached inside her jacket, still pretending to address her wound.

"Do you think that there's a magical cure waiting for you at the end? Do you think S.H.I.E.L.D. really wants you better…?"

Scarlett fired four shots. Two at the guard next to Mikhail, two at the one a few feet behind him. Mikhail ducked and immediately ran for cover. The men at the doors protected their leader. The assailant closest to Scarlett reached for her weapon but Scarlett rolled onto her stomach, grabbed her phone, leapt to her feet and then kicked the gun right out of his hand. He pulled out a knife so Scarlett grabbed his wrist, twisted it away and knocked it to the ground alongside his gun. Then she spun him around so he stood guard in front of her as her human shield. Quickly she backed up to the window.

Scarlett elbowed the already broken glass in the window until there was enough space for her to crawl through. Then she knocked the female guard in the side of the head with her gun hard so she'd fall unconscious and leapt out the window. Hurriedly she ran around the side of the factory and back toward the gravel where she jumped against the side of one of the shipping containers and grabbed the top of it where she pulled herself on it with ease and laid flat.

Then she held her breath and listened. Her ears were ringing again and so she smacked the side of her head with her palm until she could get it to stop. Her lungs were tight and she was wheezing. Now was not the damn time for this. Thank god for adrenaline. 

Scarlett heard footsteps in the gravel around her. Mikhail was shouting from inside the building but she couldn't make out what he was saying. Pulling her phone from her pocket she tapped on the screen and opened an application that interpreted surrounding sound waves. On the screen she could read every word of every conversation it picked up but she only needed to hear the one.

"Hunt her down! Now!" Mikhail then spoke in Russian and Scarlett's brain wasn't allowing her to translate. The letters were jumping around in front of her and she pinched her eyes closed for a second.

"Damnit." She whispered. "Focus, focus." Scarlett managed to translate a few words. He was going to wait for something on the pier. That's where Scarlett would go then. Scarlett was _not_ done with Mikhail, not by a long shot. He'd picked a very bad day to taunt her.

Scarlett listened again for the footsteps of those who were hunting her. There were plenty, more than she'd counted inside the building. Two were dead and one was incapacitated so there were only three left with Mikhail. But since then she'd heard at least six pairs of boots running past her, enough for her to think that there were others waiting in the perimeter for her to come running.

Scarlett sent a message to Mickey Pierce quickly, telling her that she needed help, to watch her from the satellites for a good time to strike. She didn't wait for a response and shoved her phone back into her pocket, zipping it closed.

Once she'd counted to ten without hearing any other footsteps Scarlett dared to peek over the shipping container. She spotted three guards, all pretty decent lengths away. If she was quiet, she could get off the container and sneak past them.

Carefully she hung over the side of the container and dropped onto the gravel. None of the guards turned toward her so she crouched low and ran back to the building. Still, no one was alerted. They thought she was running for her life. Silently Scarlett crept toward the guard walking along the far end of the factory. Scarlett grabbed him and threw her arm around his throat and placed her hand over his nose and mouth then waited for him to fall unconscious before gently laying him on the ground.

Scarlett searched his pockets for anything of note, found nothing of note, then dismantled his gun. Then she continued around the side of the building, checking behind her and in front of her frequently just in case. There was very little cover here, if anyone spotted her she'd be a sitting duck.

Scarlett could hear Mikhail talking just around the side of the factory. He was standing beneath an overhang just outside of the wooden dock. Currently there were no ships but the crate that had lured S.H.I.E.L.D. there in the first place was waiting at the very end of the pier. Scarlett guessed there was nothing inside of it, nothing of note. The whole thing had been a trap and it had always been a trap. If Scarlett hadn't come they would have used whoever had shown up against her.

Scarlett felt her phone buzz but ignored it. She could deal with S.H.I.E.L.D. when she wasn't in danger. Right now, Scarlett had to take action. Mikhail would hear her approaching, Scarlett had to come up with a better plan rather than just jumping out and shouting 'surprise motherfucker!' 

Mikhail was pacing back and forth, keeping his wits about him, gun in one hand and radio in another.

Scarlett checked the far side of the building again and when she was sure it was clear, stood on the window ledge and jumped up, grabbing the side of the roof before climbing on top of it. No one was waiting for her and thankfully no one was looking up there either. They likely suspected she wasn't climbing anything after what had happened the week before. How had they known she was injured?

Scarlett cursed. Her side pinched in pain. She better not have popped a stitch. Scarlett would deal with it later. She wasn't going to limit herself because of a few stitches. Face inside her jacket, Scarlett stopped to cough, hoping the leather stifled the sound enough to remain unnoticed. She held it back as much as she could.

Thankfully, Scarlett had accomplished more than one mission in the past while she'd been sick. It hadn't seemed so wonderful back then but right now it was pretty handy.

Carefully Scarlett crawled along the roof of the building, wary of its old age until she reached the edge near the ocean. The breeze was surprisingly cold and she shivered. Mikhail was quiet now. Every so often she heard a click from the radio, presumably his men checking in but nothing more. Then she would hear his footsteps on the ground. Scarlett had to count right, she had to be exact otherwise she'd lose the upper hand.

Closing her eyes she forced herself to count. This mission had become unexpectedly back to basics. Once she was sure of his position, Scarlett grabbed the edge of the roof and dropped down right behind Mikhail. He heard her but he had no time to react before she'd placed the barrel of her gun to the back of his neck. He stiffened up immediately.

"Drop your weapons."

Mikhail put down his gun and Scarlett patted him down and threw aside another gun and a knife hidden in his belt. Once sure there was nothing else there, Scarlett nodded toward the gun that reminded close by.

"Kick them into the water."

Mikhail did as he was told.

"Now give me one good reason why I shouldn't paint this building with your brains."

"Very good, Miss Damien." Mikhail laughed coldly so Scarlett pressed the barrel of her gun more resolutely against the back of his neck.

"This is not a good argument."

"There is no cure for you."

"That's not what I asked."

"The poison that's running through your veins was designed to mutate your genetics, to make you stronger and more pliable. It did not do as intended like it did to your ex. No, that drug was a failure, a failure of _his_ and yet it has become a beautiful weapon in the right hands. I imagine you are not very fond of it."

"Can't say I'm a fan."

"You know what will happen, don't you?'

"Right now, I'm going to kill you. So yeah."

"One by one your organs will shut down. Your lungs first. It will be slow, the lungs but also the worst. Your liver function is probably already very low. Just wait until the pancreas goes, oh the pain you'll be in. You're a strong woman, Scarlett… I imagine you'll be awake until the very end when you asphyxiate. How painful it will be. Even for someone so tolerant of it."

Scarlett felt that tightness in her lungs, not because of the illness, but because she knew he told the truth. She had long known the reality of what was happening to her but she'd pushed it pretty far back in her mind. These things would only happen if they couldn't manufacture a cure and Scarlett had faith that someone would do just that, that _she_ would do just that.

But what if they couldn't? Right now was not the time to think about the eventuality of her illness and she wouldn't allow Mikhail to distract her with it either, despite how it frightened her.

"There's another option, Miss Damien."

"I'm listening. Not intently though. I'm deciding if I should shoot you in the stomach first to watch you suffer for a bit… or… just get it over with so you'll shut up."

"We possess the most brilliant minds in the world, Scarlett."

"No, you really don't."

"There's a difference between your brilliance and theirs. Some consider them mad. There are placed that people like you refuse to delve because of morality. Not our doctors. If you come with me, make a deal with me then you can have them at your disposal. You can lead them. If you join The Crown then we can cure you together. You belong with us, you've more than proven your worth."

"Decided MedCo wasn't the way to go, then?"

"MedCo is quickly dying, Miss Damien. You're killing it. The Crown, however, can't die."

"Because of the Ten Rings?"

"You're so close… you have no idea how close."

"It doesn't matter. I'd rather choke to death on my vomit than join your super secret club of pompous dickbags."

"That can be arranged." Mikhail chuckled under his breath. Scarlett heard footsteps behind her and grabbed Mikhail by the arm and turned them both toward the sound.

Scott.

It was Scott. Of course it was.

He looked more like himself than he had in Manhattan, less like a monster. He was dressed properly, in a button up and slacks. Even worse his glasses and had his hair slicked back. Still, he was bulkier than he'd ever been in the past.

Mikhail had been buying time to allow Scott to join them and Scarlett had let it happen because she had also been buying time for Mickey to send in back up. One of them was moving faster than the other and it hadn't been Mickey. Scarlett was going to have a nice chat with S.H.I.E.L.D. If she survived this bullshit she was going to move so far on from them. Hell, she'd start her own better organization, an organization that took no one's shit, got shit done, and didn't throw their people into situations like _this._

"Put the gun down, sweetie."

"Not until you're both dead." Scarlett hissed. She knew how to kill Mikhail but killing Scott was a different animal altogether. Her thoughts were currently a long string of obscenities but she wasn't going to let them see her sweat.

Until Scott snapped his fingers.

Two armed men approached, dragging a third, weak man between them.

The third was a bloody mess of blond hair, at least until he lifted his head.

Clint Barton was thrown to the ground alongside Scott, beaten and bloody. Scott grabbed Clint by his now shaggy hair and forced him to his knees.

"I said, put down the gun."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know everyone wants Tony and Scarlett to do the thing, but they will do the thing! And it will be worth the wait, I swear! However, we have this pesky plot thing going so I should probably take care of it, blah blah blah. I do love this chapter though, I really do. I hope you do as well! Thanks so much for reading.


	42. Leverage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Scott continues to be a dick, Mickey actually does blow shit up from her desk, Scarlett gives everyone the bird, and Clint proves you can still be a sassy bitch while bleeding profusely.

Scarlett said nothing in response but watched Clint, searching for signs of life. He opened his blue eyes and squinted through the blood dripping down the side of his face. He stared up at her and as if realizing just what was going down, he mouthed to her not to do it. Whatever it was, he didn't want her to bargain for him.

Still a hero to the very end.

There was still strength left in Hawkeye, Scarlett had to move quick.

"If you don't come with me then I will kill everyone you care about… starting with him."

Scarlett's chest ached, her heart hurt as she realized what must have become of him after he'd tipped them off to the attack in Manhattan. He was thin, had huge bags under his eyes, lips chapped and body beaten. He was a mess. They'd likely deprived him of sleep, of food, tortured him for information. For him to become a bargaining chip, it was likely a last resort. They wouldn't keep him around after this, he was of no use, no consequence. Scott wasn't joking, wasn't working an elaborate scheme.

Either Scarlett traded herself for Clint or he died. She knew deep down that they'd never spare him regardless. He'd die no matter what, whether it was at the hands of an experiment or here on the dock as an example.

For a very small moment Scarlett seethed with rage! She _knew_ he'd been in trouble! S.H.I.E.L.D. never should have allowed him to return to his cover after he'd leaked information on the fly! After they'd discovered Manhattan had been a setup they should have done everything in their power to pull him out of his cover.

Instead, S.H.I.E.L.D. allowed _this_ to happen to him! Scarlett should have gone after him herself, god she was so damn selfish sometimes! It was a struggle but she did her best not to wear her emotions on her face.

"If you don't come with me right now, they will all die." Scott stepped a little closer and Clint stumbled along next to him. This was good. Scarlett saw he actually _did_ have some strength. Desperation was a funny thing. The gears turned in her mind; Scarlett had a plan. "I had our lives mapped out before you ruined them, you know." Scott laughed and Scarlett could practically feel Mikhail roll his eyes. "I would make you love me… because you didn't. You never could, on your own at least. I would do it for us, for you… to save you. Then… you found out and you _killed_ me!"

"Well, I did such a good job of that obviously." Scarlett still wondered why the hell he wasn't dead. MedCo had to have brought him back from the brink of death but was that even possible?

"Now is not the time for jokes."

"This seems like a stupid time to discuss this but… you tried to literally turn me into something I wasn't. Not like… just pressure and passive aggressive bullshit. You actually tried to poison me, you stole my ideas, and tried to manipulate me at every turn. That's not love, buddy. You basically sold my soul in exchange for turning me into someone I never would be. Did you think I ever actually would have cooperated? Does that sound like me?"

"I would have made you cooperate! You don't know what's best for you! We would have been happy!"

"You mean _you_ would have been happy."

"And in return you turned me into this monster?"

"You injected _me_ with poison first, if I recall! I didn't do this to you, you did!"

"Does it keep you up at night knowing how many other times I poisoned you?" Scott laughed and Scarlett jammed the barrel of her gun so hard against Mikhail's neck that he cursed in Russian.

"You're crazy."

"Unless you come with me now I will kill everyone you have ever cared about or even thought about caring about. Everyone, Scarlett. Even after you have died I will hunt them down and kill them."

"Don't listen to him, Scarlett. He's trying to get into your head. Don't let him!" Clint spoke at last, his voice surprisingly clear. Scott bashed him on the side of his head with his gun.

"Quiet!"

"Don't make any deals with him. He's a monster and you know what monsters do." Clint hissed and shoved back at Scott who hit him hard in the head over and over until Clint hunched forward at last.

Scarlett had no intentions of giving in but she had to do something.

"Let him go." Scarlett spoke before Scott could hit Clint again or continue to taunt her. Both Mikhail and Scott laughed.

"As always, just because you want it to be doesn't make it so."

"Oh, eat me." Scarlett rolled her eyes and smacked Mikhail on the side of the head for good measure before pressing the barrel of her gun against the back of his neck again. "I have one of yours and you have one of mine. We'll do an exchange. You can have this asshole and I'll take that one." Scarlett nodded to Clint who, through it all, gave her an exhausted smile.

He had to be all right.

"That's not what I want. Not even close. He's going to turn on me eventually, Scarlett. We both know that. I need him for now but we both have bigger things in mind. It's a relationship of convenience."

"Well, if you need him then we exchange for him. I don't really care about your grand scheme." Scarlett was buying for time, just as Mikhail had done earlier. She could feel her phone buzzing and knew that Mickey had to be up to something. Or at least she hoped the S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent was coming up with something to get her and Clint out of this mess. Mickey was watching over the satellite feed and while she couldn't see Scarlett beneath the overhang she sure as hell could see Scott standing in the open holding on of their field agents prisoner.

Scarlett had toyed with the idea of waiting for backup but knew that it would only further the chaos and Clint would be lost in the crossfire. Scarlett knew that if Mickey was planning something it was far more creative than that. That would mean Scarlett would have to get creative too. First things first, she had to take away Scott's leverage.

Clint was more important to her than Mikhail was to Scott, both parties knew that. Scott wasn't going to just _let_ her leave, there was no chance of it. He would only do an exchange if it was for her, she knew that deep down but she also had no plans of actually going anywhere with him. Scarlett knew that if she gave herself up to MedCo the chaos would never _actually_ end as promised. They were long past that point.

Carefully she shifted on her feet. In her right boot she'd packed a hunting knife. If she could get close enough for Clint to be able to grab that knife she might be able to get him away from Scott. Slowly she urged Mikhail closer to Scott who didn't budge but watched her carefully, gun ever aimed at Clint.

"Then we both drop our shields. You and I can settle this the way that things always should have been settled."

"The only way we're settling this, Scarlett, is if you come with me." Scott chuckled in amusement. "We are not fighting to the death! You belong with me. You never should have gotten this far in the first place."

Scarlett stepped closer.

"No matter how this ends, Scarlett. We will hunt you down and kill your friends. Worse than that we will manipulate them, twist them until they are broken beyond recognition and then they will die." Mikhail whispered in desperation, sensing Scarlett was up to something. She could feel panic radiating through the Russian and it felt damn good. Scott was only a foot or so away from her now.

"Hostages don't get to talk. Shut up."

"Their blood will be on your hands, Scarlett. Are you willing to let them die for you?"

Scarlett ignored Mikhail who continued to curse in Russian. Those words she recognized immediately. Scarlett looked Scott over from head to toe, buying for as much time as she could, then she shook her head in disappointment.

"There's nothing left of you."

"I'm better than I ever was." Scott spat, scowling.

"That's not what I meant."

"You are in no position to taunt me."

"There's nothing left of the man who asked me out all those years ago. Nothing left of the man I turned down until you finally wore away my defenses." Scarlett softened and for a brief second she saw Scott do the same. Then he grit his teeth and practically snarled at her, stepping closer.

"You didn't like him _either_ so what does it matter if he's gone?"

"I did like him though. I admired him. He was so innocent in his own way but… I'll be damned if he didn't work for everything he had. No one ever handed him anything. That was why I finally agreed to date him, to date the man you were. I saw that in you and I liked it." Scarlett whispered. Part of him had remembered that even if only for a second, something deep inside of him was still that man. Scarlett knew she couldn't talk her way out of this but she needed Scott to let his guard down for just long enough so that Clint could grab her knife and she could get him to safety. A few seconds was all she would need.

"Is that you cheated on that man you so admired, then? Over and over, Scarlett, with that man you met on your so-called jobs? What was his name again?" Scott sneered.

"I'm not going to tell you that."

"You wouldn't, would you? Wouldn't want him to go the way of your parents." Scott growled.

"I'm going to slit your throat and watch you bleed to death." Scarlett smiled, done trying to recall the man she'd once been best friends with. Again she shifted her boot to the side, hopefully close enough for Clint to gather what she was hinting at. For a moment she saw his gaze shift toward her but then he instantly looked away. That was it. Scarlett knew Clint had figured out what she was up to.

"You'll have to let go of the gun to do that, Scarlett."

Scarlett smiled but said nothing.

Suddenly Clint sprang into action! He grabbed the knife from Scarlett's boot just as she'd hoped. Scarlett shoved Mikhail hard at Scott, knocking them right into each other! Then she shot straight through Mikhail's chest and the bullet tore through his flesh, right through Scott's side. Scott caught Mikhail, there was shouting in the distance. Clint cut himself free of his bonds and stabbed so hard into Scott's leg that it actually gave out beneath him. Clint stood but fell forward, his legs weak and his body weary.

Scarlett lurched forward, gun still aimed at Mikhail and Scott and grabbed Clint to keep him from falling, dragging him forward. Then she urged his arm around her shoulders and helped him to his feet. Reaching inside her jacket, she handed Clint a loaded gun and he at once fired at Mikhail and Scott who were attempting to get up.

Reaching into her pocket as they hobbled across the dock, Scarlett reached for her phone. There were frantic messages from Mickey, telling Scarlett to get Clint out of there quickly, that they were planning an escape for them but it was going to be explosive, quite literally.

"Change of plans. Think you can swim?"

"Yeah, like a fish." Clint wasn't convincing but Scarlett had no choice but to trust him. They'd never worked together before but if Natasha held him to his word than that was good enough for her. There was no time to second guess! A great whistle rang through the air and there was an explosion on the far side of the building. It nearly knocked them both off of their feet! Then another whistle and another burst of flame!

"Go! Go!" Scarlett shouted, dragging Clint with her as fast as she could. The next explosion was so close, Scarlett could feel the heat of it and so she and Clint leapt off of the dock and into the water. The force of the explosion was too intense and they were separated into the air and knocked much further into the water than they had leapt! 

Scarlett saw only darkness as she crashed head over heels into the cold water. It shocked her flesh, stung at her wound but she couldn't see anything. Even as she opened her eyes beneath the water she could only see swirling darkness in front of her. She tried to listen for more explosions, for anything, but all she heard was that familiar ringing. Unconsciousness threatened the back of her lids, her lungs ached and it was so tempting to give in.

Then she heard another crash, another loud explosion and the water forced her sharply in one direction and she shook awake. Kicking, thrashing in the water she turned until she saw the very faintest light of day overhead. Gasping for breath, Scarlett rose above the water and fought against the waves now crashing all over the place!

"Clint!" Scarlett shouted. She'd lost him in the explosion and there was no sight of him. She swam through dangerous waters, shaken by continues blasts along the shore, risking the opportunity to search for him. Her head was spinning, aching, she must have hit the water damn hard. "God damnit, Clint! Clint!" Scarlett dove beneath the water and searched the inky seas for him. The water was too cold, it stung at her face, her lungs. She could barely hold her breath long enough to swim and the feeling of suffocation worsened with every second.

Then she saw him, floating with his head above water, barely conscious. Blood surrounded him in the water and his eyes were glassy.

"Shit! Shit, Clint…" Scarlett lapped over to him and grabbed him around the waist. He laughed and coughed, blood dripping from his lips. "Not the time, Clint."

"Thought you drowned. Was coming to grips with being eaten by sharks." He smiled with relief then made pathetic attempts to help them to shore. "How long do we have to swim?"

"Quarter mile at least. Getaway car waiting, hopefully. I walked here."

"Nat said you were smart."

"Oh yeah?"

"So that's your boyfriend, yeah? Stand up guy."

"Not after you stabbed him like that."

Clint chuckled but didn't say anything more. He kept closing his eyes and then fluttering them open, barely able to hold onto consciousness. Scarlett swam them to shore as quickly as her tired limbs would allow her. She moved far faster than she should have but it was worth the risk. She wasn't sure if she could dive and grab Clint again if she lost her grip.

Once on shore, Scarlett dragged him through the sand and mud, lying Clint down on his back. He kept shaking his head to stay conscious.

"Are you okay?" Scarlett already knew the answer. Clint shook his head from side to side. Now that she had the chance Scarlett could see just how horribly beaten he was. Clint reached for the bottom of his shirt and started to tug but his fingers would properly for a fist. Scarlett did it for him and sharply inhaled. His side had been gouged, there was blood everywhere, she could see his fucking organs!

Covering her mouth, Scarlett resisted the urge to gag. Pulling off her jacket, Scarlett shoved her phone into her pants pocket and then wrapped the jacket tightly around his side which was met with an annoyed grunt. She wasn't sure how much good it would do after all was said and done but it was better than nothing.

"You?" Clint nodded toward her and she shook her head.

"I'm fine! Fine!" Scarlett nodded but Clint reached and touched her forehead then showed her his bloodied fingertips. Shaking her, Scarlett could taste the blood in her throat too. Her knees were scraped right through her jeans and she was sore all over but these were things she could deal with later. "It's really fine."

"Head wounds trump side wounds." Clint smiled and Scarlett rolled her eyes.

"Whose intestines can we see here? My organs are all where they belong."

"Fine, fine…" Clint grimaced then nodded his head before placing his hand back over her side. Panic settled in her chest. Scarlett had to get Clint to the hospital and _now_. There was no time left to sit around.

"Think there's any chance you can walk?"

"Just try to keep up."

"The sass is cute but can you actually walk?"

"I'll make it."

Scarlett chose to trust Clint once again. She probably shouldn't have but what choice was there? It was all she really could do. She'd flirted with the idea of getting her car and coming as close as she could but it seemed to make more sense to cut down on that time in between just in case. Scarlett wasn't even sure who had survived the blast at the dock and who hadn't but she certainly wasn't going to wait around on shore to find out.

Through the trees that lined the beach, Scarlett dragged Clint as much as she could, allowing him to put the brunt of his weight on her but her body was giving into exhaustion too. With each push, each step forward she felt her lungs ache. Every so often she had to lean against a tree and cough and then force herself to breathe. Her vision blackened and she nearly fell over half a dozen times but she trudged blindly forward until they finally reached her car. Inside, Scarlett shoved Clint into the passenger's seat and climbed into the driver's seat. He watched her, worriedly, and nudged her arm with his hand then nodded toward the steering wheel.

Scarlett ignored him. He was asking if she was okay to drive. It didn't actually matter if she was or not, they didn't have any other choices. Sure, she could call in to S.H.I.E.L.D. if her phone still worked and have them come and get her but it wasn't worth the risk or the wait. Clint needed medical assistance days ago and she wasn't going to be the reason they got him help too late. Scarlett would force herself to stay conscious and drive to the hospital as quickly as she could.

If she passed out _while_ they were driving they would likely both die in the resulting crash but that was a risk she was willing to take. Scarlett hoped that if she started to drift she'd be able to pull over.

Shoving the car into gear, Scarlett turned onto the road and sped away. If she was pulled over they'd get an escort to the hospital, Scarlett knew it. Thankfully the drive forced Scarlett's exhausted brain to focus and allowed her to breathe.

The drive was agonizingly slow, at least for Scarlett. It was a blink for Clint.

When they arrived, something was waiting for them.

Pulling her car in front of the Emergency Room entrance, they were instantly surrounded by people with cameras, taking pictures, holding microphones and recorders, yelling at her for something she couldn't quite make out right now. Scarlett blasted the horn so relentlessly it forced them out of the way. When she climbed out of the driver's side she was overwhelmed by the sound of voices, by questions.

"Miss Damien? What on earth happened?"

"Are you all right?"

"Is that blood?"

"Did something happened to you, Miss Damien?"

"Is that a gun?" Others murmured.

"Yes!" Scarlett cursed under her breath. There was an audible gasp in the crowd and the questions became more rapid, more sinister. They were making her dizzy. Scarlett shoved a reporter out of the way and thankfully, doctors and nurses rushed from the emergency room doors and urged the press away. Scarlett opened the passenger side door and helped Clint walk, his arm over her shoulder again. There were shouts of distress from the crowd people yelling and asking questions. Finally, reporters moved out of the way as Scarlett started toward the open doors.

A hush fell over the crowd as a nurse brought a wheelchair over and Scarlett helped Clint sit down then insisted upon wheeling him inside. Someone tried to ask her if she needed help herself but she ignored them and pushed away from the crowd. The press followed but was stopped at the door by nurses and security guards but Scarlett could hear their questions renewed.

Someone had told the media she was coming and Scarlett could guess who.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading, the feedback makes me happy xD I swear that soon there's going to be some Tony interaction- a whole hell of a lot of it. Smut comes soon, I swear... and then once Tony's involved he's involved for the long haul.


	43. Blame

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hell hath no fury like the Black Widow. Heartache is a funny thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long day! Next week's chapter is crazy long, I haven't edited it yet but it's like 15 pages already. Yeesh! Apparently there was a lot of pent up nonsense going on. Thanks for reading <3

Natasha stormed through double doors at the main entrance of the hospital to avoid the chaos surrounding the emergency entrance. She walked with purpose and when a hospital employee tried to stop her she ignored them and walked past. Very few people stood in Natasha's way when she was this angry. Her footfalls were heavy, resolute, and despite her small stature, she commanded everyone around her.

She glared at the attendant guarding the double doors into the emergency room who opened it at will then stopped to survey her surroundings. Natasha was aware at any given time how many people were around her, what her exits were, and what could possibly be used as a weapon. Her thoughts were buzzing, everything felt hyper real. The crowd of paparazzi trapped outside the glass doors to the Emergency Room seemed in a different world.

"Ma'am?" A Latino woman approached, wearing whimsical scrubs. Dalmatians. Cute. Natasha tilted her head curiously and the woman spoke again. "Excuse me, ma'am?"

Natasha turned toward her and flashed a badge she rarely ever used. The nurse nodded her head politely and offered to assist her. It was clear why Natasha was there, once the nurse had seen the badge she knew just where to lead her. After being given clearance into a restricted area she walked past the doors that she was buzzed through and stomped down the hall. That walk through the brightly lit sterile hallways seemed to last forever.

Finally Natasha turned the corner and the hum of anxiety in her ears broke. She could hear the nurses talking, staff speaking to patients in nearby rooms. Scarlett was pacing at the end of a long waiting room to the left of the nurse's station. Her forehead was bloody, she was scraped up, pale, and worse for wear.

"Natasha, I'm so sorry." Scarlett looked up as she heard her friend coming down the hall. Her ears were still ringing from the explosions and she felt sick to her stomach. Several nurses had tried to take a look at her but Scarlett had refused. Her medical history was far too sketchy to even try to get into that. They'd made her give up her gun if she wanted to stay, so she had. "I'm sorry…" Natasha walked right past her and looked through the doors that led to a hall where there were several operating rooms.

Scarlett watched her nervously, hands trembling. Natasha was angry, so very angry. Scarlett could feel it radiating off of her but she didn't back away.

"Tasha, I'm sorry…" Scarlett didn't know what else to say, she was at a loss for words. All she could do was apologize. The last hour had been both a whirlwind and a nightmare. There was nowhere for Scarlett to go. Outside the press was waiting, there were already stories all over the gossip websites about her. The nurses were whispering, asking questions as they passed but Scarlett had no answers for them. For once she had nothing to say.

"Where is he?" Natasha finally turned away from the doors, unable to magically see through the walls and into the operating room where she was sure Clint now was. She'd gotten the call from Mickey hours ago that something had gone wrong but she hadn't known about Clint until she saw the story on the news.

Mickey and Jinx were working on trying to get the press under control but the whole thing was a mess. Scarlett's cover was done for, there was no way she could maintain it without further explanation now. Business owners didn't show up bloody at a hospital armed, not the way Scarlett had. The speculation had already begun.

"In surgery." Scarlett whispered hesitantly. Natasha was much smaller than Scarlett but right now Scarlett felt twelve inches tall.

"Is he okay?"

"I don't know." Scarlett practically saw Natasha's blue eyes burn red. "They knew he was the mole, that's my guess. He was tortured, Tasha. For god knows how long." With a hiss, Scarlett whispered though the nurses were so far away from them that she was sure no one would overhear.

Natasha gritted her teeth but said nothing.

"I demanded to speak to one of the doctors they were assigning to the case. They… didn't really have a choice in the matter I was armed and kind of used it to my advantage." Weakly Scarlett smiled but nothing she said would ease the tension. "They say he's had some kind of infection, probably bacterial. It's pretty bad, they were surprised he was still conscious when he got here. The wound was extensive, they had to… operate to stop the internal bleeding."

"Is he going to make it?" Natasha spoke curtly.

"I don't know." Scarlett felt a chill pass through her. "T-they don't know."

Natasha folded her arms over her chest and paced again in front of the doors to the operating room. Scarlett felt her stomach ache and her head spun. Leaning against the wall she coughed, but did her best to stay quiet. This wasn't about her right now, it was about Clint and Natasha. Everything she was going through had to be put on the back burner until she was sure Clint would make it out of the woods. She wanted to ask why anyone had ever let him go back undercover. She wanted to know why no one had looked for him after he had disappeared! How could S.H.I.E.L.D. have allowed this to happen? If Scarlett had known the situation as it had actually played out she would have made her objections known. She never would have allowed Clint to put himself in harm's way because of her.

"He's a fighter, Natasha. Even all the way here he kept checking on me and…"

With a flip of red hair, Natasha turned toward her. Her face was nearly as red as her hair and her eyes were blazing with fury.

"This is _your_ fault!"

Scarlett didn't say anything. 

She had just been mentally blaming S.H.I.E.L.D. but that hadn't seemed to cross Natasha's mind. It was very clear where Natasha laid her blame.

"This is what you get for straying the path! You should have listened to S.H.I.E.L.D.! You came to them for help and then you disobeyed orders at every turn! Do you know what that does to an operation?"

"I…"

"Of course you don't! You're only _ever_ looking out for yourself! Ever! Even coming to S.H.I.E.L.D. after what happened with Scott, what were you thinking?" Natasha was emotional, this was a rare event. Was this what she _really_ felt or was she just scared and hurt? Scarlett had never seen Natasha scared _or_ hurt so it was hard to tell. More than anything Scarlett hated that she was putting her friend through this.

"That's not what I meant to do at all."

"Of course not, but it's what you _did._ You shouldn't have come to S.H.I.E.L.D., you were crazy to get any of us involved! Any of us! You're a mess, a big _mess._ "

"Don't you think I know that?"

"You're crazy if you think that you can just erase all the evil things you did by taking more lives, by shedding more blood!" Natasha pointed an accusing finger and it trembled as she did.

"Tasha…" Scarlett began, hoping to get her friend to calm down but that wasn't happening. The progress they'd made the day before was completely erased. She didn't want Natasha to say things she was going to regret, but it seemed to be too late for that. Scarlett was beginning to think she had that effect on me people.

"The only blood that should be shed, that should have been shed, was _yours!_ "

Natasha had nothing else to say after that. Even as the words past her lips she seemed to have not meant to say them and was flushed. 

She walked past Scarlett and sat near the door to wait, crossing one leg over the other and folding her arms. The redhead wouldn't even look back at Scarlett who stared at her, waiting for more, waiting for her to take it back.

She didn't take it back.

Natasha had meant every word of her rant, no matter how angry. Sometimes the best way to the truth was through emotional outbursts, through rage, sadness. People like Scarlett and Natasha rarely gave into those emotions. But there they were and now Scarlett knew the truth.

Even Natasha thought she should have just crawled in a hole and died. 

Deep down Scarlett knew this wasn’t true, she didn't come to S.H.I.E.L.D. looking for sanctuary, she'd come to them hoping to stop MedCo; to stop Scott. Yeah, she'd bent the rules here or there but she hadn't been left with much of a choice.

Or was that her just being selfish again?

"Ma'am?" Scarlett gasped for breath as a nurse approached her. When had she started holding it? She must have been blue in the face because the nurse looked concerned. "Can I take you to see someone? You're still bleeding."

Scarlett shook her head no and the nurse gingerly took her arm and made to lead her down the hall. Instantly Scarlett shoved her off and glared something fierce. That must have done the trick because the nurse backed up carefully and started back to the desk, still looking concerned. Looking back to Natasha, Scarlett hoped that the woman would at least talk to her, so that she could ask what happens next, where she was supposed to go, what she was supposed to do.

Scarlett had become accustomed to being guided, not working on her own.

That had to change.

She was alone.

Scarlett had no business at the hospital waiting for Clint. He'd been so kind to her that Scarlett hadn't stopped to think that Natasha would be _this_ upset. She'd done everything in her power to keep Mikhail and Scott occupied so she could save him. Scarlett was in no position to be doing any of the things she'd done that day, not with a toxic combination of drugs and poison inside her veins, not after the ordeal she'd had the other day. Wasn't it S.H.I.E.L.D.'s fault for sending her out there? Every time any of it made sense, Scarlett felt disgusted with herself.

At some point she'd have to learn to shoulder the weight of her actions. She just wasn't so sure she'd be able to remain upright with so heavy a load.

Turning away she walked down the hallway and it felt like the longest walk she'd ever taken. Every footstep echoed in her ears, echoing Natasha's words. Her heart nearly pounded through her chest, her fingertips were going numb. Every so often she had to remind herself to breathe and had to stop to cough.

Still somehow she managed to get through the doors, to walk through the emergency room. Her eyes were glazed over, she swore she may even be on the verge of tears. That was definitely not something Scarlett had done since this had all started. Yeah, she'd been upset when Scott had betrayed her, even a little heartbroken but god she hadn't cried about the damn thing.

Never had things felt hopeless.

Not until now.

In the emergency room waiting area Scarlett leaned against the wall. Her chest hurt but she didn't think it was from lack of oxygen. This was not a pain that Scarlett was familiar with. For a brief moment she thought that she was having a heart attack but knew that wasn't how that worked.

She was heartbroken.

Suddenly the hospital felt stifling. Nothing good had ever happened to Scarlett in a hospital. The air was thick, hard to breathe. She _needed_ to breathe. Everything was suddenly spinning around her. Panic settled in, and as she panicked her breath grew shorter and the shorter it became the worse the panic became. It was a vicious cycle she couldn't break free of.

Ignoring a nurse who tried to talk to her, Scarlett heard only buzzing and rushed out the automatic doors of the emergency room and straight past the security guards that kept the press at bay.

Shit, she'd forgotten about the media. 

Suddenly there were bright lights in her face and still she desperately needed air, fresh air, to breathe, to be free of the death grip of this panic that was overwhelming her. She wasn't finding any of that there. Cold air bit at her throat, her lungs.

Someone grabbed her arm and asked her a question but she didn't hear it. 

There were people shouting at her from every angle. Some were asking about rumors of a double life, others were asking about the man she'd helped into the hospital, some were asking if she was okay, while many were asking what the hell she did that led to this.

The media had turned on her much faster than she had expected. Questions quickly became accusations of wrongdoing.

She knew that a public persona was a bad idea! She'd said so when S.H.I.E.L.D. had first proposed it and now here it was biting her in the ass. Scarlett stood there, in the center of a media frenzy who were chomping at the bit, hoping to get something out of her, anything. 

When someone else grabbed her arm, she finally snapped and with a shout shoved the man away from her.

"Enough!"

"Scarlett, does this have anything to do with rumors of your sordid past?" The male reporter couldn't get enough, he'd grabbed her twice now. He had _no_ right to touch her, even out of concern.

"Rot in hell, little man! You people are sick! Preying off of other people's personal information for money? Selling pictures of people in trying times so you can get a quick buck? You don't know me and I don't want you to. Leave me alone!"

For a second there was silence, but Scarlett knew her words meant nothing and honestly she usually didn't care what the media said, what they did, but right now Scarlett was struggling to even breathe, to even walk! They were taking what was a crisis situation and making it even harder to deal with. Scarlett needed to get away, to get away from Natasha, to get away from the hospital.

"Scarlett!"

"Miss Damien!"

"Just a word!"

"We need a statement!"

"The world is waiting!"

"It's none of your business." Scarlett was doing her best to gather her wits, but they seemed too scattered. Her head spun and she forced herself to walk forward, to get through the mass of people who were now parting away from her, afraid of receiving her wrath after she'd pushed the last reporter away from her.

Or maybe the flashing blue and red lights were what caused them to keep their distance. Police cars were arriving on the scene, whether the hospital had called them to handle the press or they'd been contacted by S.H.I.E.L.D. to take care of it, there they were. Scarlett felt very little relief upon seeing them.

They did however, help.

Police officers started to urge the press to back away from her, some even demanding they leave the premises. Scarlett felt very little relief still. An officer stopped to speak to her and asked her a question but Scarlett again didn't hear it. She assumed he was asking if she was okay so she nodded her head. He gave her a gentle tap on the arm and then started past her to handle the press.

"Miss Damien?" A familiar voice cut through all the noise, the chaos. There were still reporters shouting at her, hoping to get just a few words from her, but Scarlett would give them nothing. "Scarlett!" The same voice cut through the night. A police officer shouted but the voice grew closer anyway.

Scarlett turned and saw Dianne Hendricks coming toward her and grimaced. What was she still doing in California? Hadn't Scarlett told her to go home? She was supposed to be on the east coast, safe with her family, as far from Scarlett as she could possibly be. At this point, Scarlett had no doubt that MedCo would go after her too. Or The Crown, or whatever the hell they were called anymore. The Russian asshole and his lapdog, they were willing to kill anyone Scarlett even spoke to just to make her feel guilty and they hoped that guilt would crush her, would destroy any relationships she had left with allies.

It was working.

Natasha had abandoned her. That was what the heartache was, she felt abandoned. Yeah, when Scott had betrayed her Scarlett had damn well felt abandoned but she had also been angry! 

Right now Scarlett was angry, but not at Natasha. Surprisingly, Scarlett was very angry with S.H.I.E.L.D. They were supposed to be keeping people safe and yet she was still watching them die, and now because of her! She never should have trusted them… but hadn't it been Natasha's idea to get them involved in the first place? Scarlett had gone to _Natasha_ not S.H.I.E.L.D. Her head was spinning. Dianne was talking to her, was standing next to her.

"Scarlett, Scarlett?" Dianne repeated her name in a hush, trying to get her attention but not to get a story out of her, to make sure she was really doing all right. The dark skinned woman already knew that she wasn't, she could tell. Never had she seen someone more dazed in her entire life. Scarlett was usually so composed, so calculative but right now she was practically a zombie. 

She was ignored, Scarlett was walking blindly toward her car but the car was long gone. Where had it gone? She'd parked it there a second ago. Groping her pockets, she searched for her keys and found them gone. She must have handed them to someone to park the damn thing. Turning back toward the door she was met with a flood of flash bulbs and shouting.

Dianne was walking alongside her, saying something but Scarlett was too lost in her head to listen.

"Miss Damien, here let me help you!" She reached to Scarlett who stepped away and became defensive at once. This startled everyone around her. Scarlett's secrets were brimming over the top of her carefully built wall and spilling onto the street. 

"I'm fine." She whispered and started away. It didn't matter how she left, she had to leave fast.

"Scarlett, does this have anything to do with Scott?" Dianne needed to talk to her, to try to help her but this backfired.

Immediately Scarlett saw red.

Turning on a dime, in a rage, she yelled and grabbed Dianne hard by the collar and shoved her against the hospital wall and pinned her there.

"Have you not taken enough from me? Is this not enough for you?"

"Scarlett, I…" Dianne gasped and Scarlett pushed her harder to shut her up.

"If you don't leave me alone so help me god I will make it so you have no other choice!"

"I'm just trying to…"

"To help? To help! You want to help Hendricks? Forget that name! Forget my story! Leave me alone! Leave me the hell alone!"

"Ma'am, I'm going to have to ask you to step back."

"Fuck you!" Scarlett cursed and released Dianne but then slammed her fist into the wall in anger. Dianne yelped in fear and crouched to the ground, lost her footing and slipped!

"Ma'am, put your hands behind your back!" It was the police who had been called to handle the press. Instead they were handling Scarlett.

Scarlett stared down at Dianne. Had she done that? No. Scarlett hadn't hit her, she'd hit the wall and her fingers were bloody enough to prove it. She stopped. There was still so much blood all over her hands. Clint's blood. Her blood. God knew who else's at this point.

Then she was pushed against the wall, chest first. The police were pulling her hands away and Scarlett turned, twisted the cop's wrist and kicked him away from her. The second jumped back in surprise.

"No! No, it's fine! Officers it's fine!" Dianne shouted over the chaos unfolding before her. "She didn't hurt me, I slipped, it's fine!"

"Ma'am I need you on the ground, hands above your head." Scarlett knew she shouldn’t resist but she wasn't getting on the ground either. That was all right because the cops did it for her. She didn't fight them this time, but she didn't make it easy either. Every grab they made she purposely pushed toward them as to throw them off.

By the end the cops were cursing, but had her in cuffs and dragged her into the back of the car. Dianne was shouting with another cop, being threatened with a citation if she didn't back down. 

It didn't matter.

The hum of the press was gone now, outside of the police car that pulled out of the parking lot.


	44. Bail

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm leaving out the summary this time because it'll be in here sort of. I call this the "sexual frustration at level maximum" chapter. Also, the emotional roller coaster ride. Scarlett's a hot friggin' mess right now, so is Tony. They made so many bad decisions but Scarlett's about to finally make some good ones. Tony too, I suppose. Thanks, so much for reading (You know who you are, no joke <3 your comments are the best!)

Unzipped his leather jacket Tony shoved his hands into jean pockets as he walked through the glass doors of the police station. Clearing his throat, he waited for people to realize who he was then took off his sunglasses and carefully put them in his pocket.

Several people whispered, others looked for police officers behind him in case he'd been arrested. It wouldn't be the first time. But no Tony hadn't been arrested. Not today, at least.

"Mr. Stark? May I help you?" A detective walked up to Tony and held his hand out to shake. Tony took his hand, shook it, and then nodded his head in greeting.

"I'm looking for someone. Spoke to one of my friends and they said she was in lock up here. Any chance you could help me out?" Tony smiled a charming smile but the gears were turning in his mind. He wanted these policemen to like him and very often policemen did _not_ like him. This particular detective however, seemed at least a little curious. He glanced outside and saw Tony's car parked out front.

"Is that a Maserati?"

"That old thing? Yeah." Tony played it cool, as if everyone could afford the Italian luxury car. He knew they couldn't but if he wanted to impress the man he certainly would. It wasn't exactly the plan Tony had in mind but if this detective was into cars, he would run with it.

"You know your way around a car, Mr. Stark? Or is it all for looks?"

"What, you think I let strangers touch my cars? Trust me, I get my hands dirty more than most." Tony chuckled but then glanced behind the detective. There was a crowd of police officers and other employees watching him, hoping to joke with him too. It was better than being glared at as if to be ashamed of whatever he'd done that day. Most police officers didn't think jokes about public nudity were very funny, he'd discovered the hard way. Very importantly he'd discovered female police officers did _not_ want to be flirted with. Also male police officers. Sometimes Tony had been desperate.

Today however, he'd broken no laws and the police officers and detectives seemed excited by the chance to meet him. He opened his mouth to talk again but heard a male voice behind him interrupt.

"Excuse me, Mr. Stark. Some of us were wondering if we could get a picture with you?"

"Yeah, of course, but only if you tag me in it." Tony grinned and when the police officer excitedly handed his phone off to a coworker, more like shoved it at him, he stood next to Tony and posed. His friend took the picture and gave a thumbs up. "Don't be shy, everyone's welcome." Tony laughed and one by one, the police officers and detectives let down their guard, came to shake his hand and take pictures, each asking him ridiculous question after ridiculous question. Tony considered it ridiculous, at least, to be asked how expensive his sunglasses were, if he wore an Iron Man suit beneath his clothing, and if the arc reactor was itchy.

Tony wasn't there for a social call. Hell no, Tony never stepped into a police station without good reason. Today he was there strictly for personal reasons. He'd seen a very interesting and alarming story on the news that afternoon while he'd been organizing the renovation of his Malibu home. Scarlett had shown up at a nearby hospital, bloody, soaked, and dazed. On top of that she'd assaulted a reporter and was arrested. After making a few phone calls, Tony contacted a rookie cop he'd helped get into the academy a few years back and had found out she'd been brought here.

No, despite Tony Stark's smile and his finesse, he was worried. He'd known for some time that things with Scarlett were bad but he'd never known _how_ bad they were. Still, someone had to be there for her. Several times he'd tried to call but she hadn't answered and now he guessed it was because she didn’t have her phone with her in lockup.

"Hey, can I have a word privately?" Tony whispered to the detective who had been brave enough to approach him.

"It's Detective Gutierrez." The detective smiled, his brown eyes still very curious of Tony and drifting still every so often to the gorgeous red car parked out front. 

"I heard you've got Scarlett Damien here in lock up." Several officers turned their heads at the name.

"Asked for her autograph too but got the silent treatment…" One of them spoke but the detective interrupted him.

"Everyone deserves their privacy, Astin." He was stern. "Besides, she was handcuffed."

"What exactly happened? I mean, with Scarlett not with the autograph I can pretty much picture how that played out." Tony joked seamlessly.

"You know her, right? Close or something, I read. Not big on the gossip mags but sometimes you can't help but overhear it or… see it while trying to by groceries."

"Yeah, we're friends and colleagues." Tony wanted to say more, but he didn't. Now wasn't the time to gush about just how intense his relationship with Scarlett had become with time. "I saw something about her assaulting a reporter on the news but I didn't have much time to really sit and listen. Not my thing, honestly. Used to have an assistant who briefed me on all that. It was chance that I caught it."

"I can see that you're not one to sit still very long. But yes, sir, that's exactly what happened, I'm afraid. Though, can't say I blame her considering." Detective Gutierrez spoke under his breath.

"What do you mean?"

"There was a swarm of them all over her there. Like flies. I went to investigate and get witness statements after she was brought in. Even the reporters admitted they were being way too forward. She needed air, she was clearly out of it, and one of the reporters kept pushing and pushing until Miss Damien pushed back."

"So, let's say that I want to bail her out. How much is that going to cost me?" Tony peered around Detective Gutierrez as if he could catch sight of Scarlett just by glancing. That wasn't how it worked. "And when does she have to be back to appear before a judge?"

"Actually, it won't cost anything." Detective Gutierrez shrugged but he looked concerned behind dark brown eyes.

"That doesn't sound like our government. No offense."

"None taken. Charges were dropped an hour or so ago. She can go home. Turns out that they were never formally filed in the first place. The big panicked crowd turned it into a fiasco."

"Does _she_ know that? Doesn't seem like her to stick around if she's free to go."

"I…"

"What? What is it?" Tony interrupted quickly, suspicious. Detective Gutierrez seemed nice enough, but he'd seen the darker side of the law. The side that had it out for people like Scarlett.

"To be honest I haven't said a thing to her since she was brought in. I know we have to let her go, but the press are going to be all over her and I'm not sure she's exactly with it enough to deal with them. I was going to wait until after hours to contact the hospital and consider sending her back there before telling her she was free to go."

"Isn't that against some law or something?" Tony cocked a curious eyebrow, feigning disinterest.

"If you saw her you'd understand my concern."

"Can I see her?" Tony wondered what the detective would say but was met with a nod.

"Yes, of course. Hey, Claire, can you bring Mr. Stark to see Miss Damien?" Detective Gutierrez called over his shoulder.

"Of course, sir." A woman in uniform stood alert and went to get her keys then typed on the computer.

"Hey, one more thing, Gutierrez."

"What's that?"

"The reporter… what's his or her name?"

"Let me check." Detective Gutierrez walked over to his desk, shuffled a few papers around and flipped open a folder. "Ah yes, small out of town reporter. Dianne Hendricks. She was actually upset the officers brought her here. She didn't want to even consider pressing charges when it happened. Said she fell. Was real shaken when I interviewed her. Threatened to have _me_ arrested."

"Okay, thanks." Tony felt his stomach do a front flip. He knew that name. Dianne Hendricks was the same woman who had published those articles about Scarlett, the ones that had actually alluded to her secret life, her involvement with S.H.I.E.L.D., her potential illness. Maybe she'd hit too close to the truth with Scarlett, maybe that was what prompted her to go on the offensive. He made a mental note to talk to the reporter later.

"If you could follow me, Mr. Stark." Claire approached and bowed her head respectively.

"Hey, Gutierrez?" Tony started.

"Yes?"

Tony threw his car keys at the detective who caught them, startled.

"Go have fun for ten minutes. I'll need it back so don't, you know, steal it or something. We are in a police station and if I've learned anything from my history with you guys it's that you shouldn't commit a crime… _here._ "

"Thanks, Mr. Stark." Detective Gutierrez didn't know what else to say, his mouth agape for a long moment before he walked out of the police station and toward the dark red sports car waiting out front. He tried not to go too quickly, he didn't want to look too eager. But Tony saw him hurry off at a run once he was past the glass doors.

"After you, ma'am." Tony turned back toward the officer who then led him down the hall and through a few barred and locked doors. Tony didn't pay much attention to anything else along the way though he did smile and shake hands with a few people who stopped him. Vaguely he considered making a joke about role play with the police officer, but he didn't. Scarlett sat in the furthest cell, which was also the smallest. Her hands were clasped in front of her and she stared down at them. Even as he got closer she didn't turn to look at him. "…is she okay?"

"Hasn't said a word since we brought her in." Claire whispered, though she looked partially saddened as she did. "Really do think we should bring her back to the hospital." She opened the lock on the door and left the cell open as Tony walked inside.

"Can we have a moment?" Tony asked and Claire nodded then walked away.

Tony sat next to Scarlett, who looked like hell, and waited with a sigh. Scarlett glanced at him and then back down at her hands.

"Don't ask."

"Too late." Tony scoffed and wiped his hands over the knees of his jeans and then leaned back and folded his legs. "What happened?"

" _I_ happened." Scarlett grumbled.

"Well, that's not much of an answer." Tony carefully reached for her hand and at first she winced and stiffened up. Still, he didn't relent and gave it a gentle squeeze. She waited for a moment, hesitated, and then squeezed it back. "Are you okay?"

"Not hurt, if that's what you're asking."

"Yeah, okay, covered in blood… so I believe that." Tony smiled a little as Scarlett gave him a look just to assure him how much she appreciated his sarcasm. "That wasn't what I asked."

Scarlett didn't say anything in response. The truth was she wasn't okay and for a wide number of reasons, none of which she'd shared with Tony. And oh how desperately she wanted to. God, she was tired of being alone, she was tired of this whole screwed up situation. She'd thought, at first, that she had handled the Scott and Mikhail situation remarkably well. At least until she had gotten to the hospital and Natasha had told her just what a disaster she really was.

Clint was alive, but for how long Scarlett wasn't sure. Natasha was probably never going to forgive her for putting her friends in the crossfire. Scarlett knew she'd never forgive herself for any of it either and yet here she was, selfishly, considering telling Tony just what was going on and throwing him in harm's way too.

Tony watched her curiously, she was so lost in her own thoughts she didn't at all seem like herself. In fact, Tony was almost certain she needed medical attention. He wouldn't force it on her, but he wouldn't leave her alone either. She needed him right now, whether or not Scarlett would admit it and he had a feeling she was the type who would never admit it. 

"You're free to go." Tony nodded, but didn't let go of her hand, smacking his other against his leg resolutely. Scarlett furrowed her brow and tilted her head to the side curiously, like a damned bird. What did he mean she was _free to go?_ She had been arrested, if she'd been free to go they wouldn't have locked her up.

Then again, they hadn't tried very hard to subdue her after bringing her in. She wasn't handcuffed and people had been nothing but kind to her. Some had even asked her for an autograph but she wasn't feeling well enough to oblige. Scarlett could usually fake the persona that Tony so oozed with at every moment, but right now Scarlett couldn't fake anything, not even a smile. 

"What?" Scarlett finally managed to mutter, but even that didn't sound convincing.

"That reporter isn't pressing charges so legally they can't hold you here for anything." Tony nodded and considered telling her that they only kept her here for so long because they were worried about her, because they didn't want to send her to the sharks when she wasn't well. But he didn't. It was just another thing left unsaid between them and that seemed to be an overwhelming amount of things these days.

"I didn't do anything." Scarlett looked to Tony but didn't get up, didn't act like she should leave. She felt like this was where she belonged. God, she had to get out of her head, she was trapped there and every time she tried to step out, she heard Natasha's accusatory words in her head, she saw Clint's intestines hanging from his side. It made her stomach turn.

"We should go. You don't need to be here." Tony stood, letting go of her hand at last and Scarlett simply stared up at him. It made his heart melt and any frustration he felt washed away. Scarlett wasn't being stand offish, no matter how bitchy she sounded right now with every word. She was hurting and it was so obvious that it was almost painful for him.

Scarlett turned her gaze away.

"Come here…" Tony gently tucked his hand underneath her arm and helped her to her feet and she allowed him to do just that. "I'll get you out of here."

"You don't have to do this." Scarlett stopped him from urging her out the door and he smiled and shook his head.

"I know that. Trust me, I don't do anything I don't want to do. Not anymore."

"I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or not." Scarlett joked finally and Tony laughed.

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

"No, not really. I like the mystery." 

"There she is." Tony nodded and escorted her, hand on her back through the police station. Everything was a blur for Scarlett from there. The officers were all very kind, at least she thought they were kind. Still she refused pictures and autographs but promised to come back later when she wasn't a complete mess. The only thing Scarlett would remember from that afternoon was that Tony was there and he guided her, helped her, spoke when she couldn't speak and made sure she wasn't put into any situations that made her uncomfortable.

She was amazed by him.

By the time they got back to her loft by the shore, Scarlett was still out of it. Tony parked in front of the beautiful building which looked lonely without her car. He hadn't asked where it had wound up but he didn't think now was exactly the time either. Perhaps he'd have Jarvis take care of it, Scarlett was in no condition to drive. Part of him wanted to take her back to the hospital but he knew that the press was there, still, waiting, like a fucking feeding frenzy. It disgusted him.

"Is this a Maserati?" Scarlett narrowed her eyes at the insides of the car before looking back to Tony.

"It is. Sexy, right?"

"Feels like you're compensating."

"Everyone likes a good Italian sports car."

"You were buttering up the cops." Scarlett nodded in understanding.

"What, you thought I'd compensate for dick size? Scarlett, you should know that is not something I have to compensate for."

Scarlett practically snorted and shoved at his arm. She couldn't ever thank him enough for reminding her that not all the things in her life were bad right now. Tony wasn't bad at all. In fact he was probably the best thing she had. Which was a little sad in itself since most of their relationship had to change sooner rather than later.

"Can I drive it?"

"My dick or the car?"

"The car, dick."

"You sound like you're feeling a bit better."

"It's all relative." Scarlett found it easy to joke with Tony, she always had, it was part of why they'd always gotten along so well. She wondered if this had to have been how he felt when she'd walked in on him having that panic attack the first day they'd met. Vulnerable, scared, judged. Maybe this was also how he felt after she had refused to take advantage of him and had instead comforted him. Scarlett had forgotten that people could be so damn kind. Even after seeing everything Clint had gone through to help her, it was somehow different.

Scarlett at last got out of the car and unlocked the door to her house. It was lucky that her keys were still in her pocket, since she hadn't had the sense to remember to grab them. Tony followed her inside and Scarlett was in no shape to object.

"I am going to guess you have a first aid kit somewhere." Tony pointed around the spacious living room. "And that we shouldn't do this on the white couch."

"Do what?"

"You're bleeding, Scarlett."

"Oh…?" She tilted her head and then felt the sting on her scalp. "Right. Right… I swear, I'm not… as out of it as I probably seem. I…" She drifted off with a sigh and then nodded toward the bathroom. "I'll go grab the first aid kit. Make yourself at home."

Scarlett returned and Tony sat down at the bar in the kitchen and patted the seat next to him. She took it and placed the first aid kit in front of her, unlatched it and opened it. Before she could begin to take care of her wounds, Tony slid the first aid kit across the countertop and started emptying it himself. She wanted to tell him she didn't need him to do it, that she was capable of it on her own but Scarlett just wasn’t her usual self.

Carefully he cleaned up the scrapes on her arms, things she hadn't even noticed. It became soothing, the feeling of a wet cloth wiping away the muck and the mire that had been left behind after she'd helped Clint to the hospital. Scarlett would give anything to make sure Clint was okay. She'd give her own life in exchange for his if that were allowed but she knew realistically that wasn't how things worked.

That would just about solve everything. Tony watched this change wash over Scarlett as he cleaned up her wounds. Sadness drenched her until she was sopping with it. Whatever she was going through, whatever trouble had led her here, it was eating her alive. He'd noticed it before on several occasions, this crippling fear that hid within her, but he'd never witnessed it take hold of her so severely.

Gently he tilted her face toward him and brushed the cloth over her cheeks, wiping away the dirt from her skin. Even beaten, bruised, and exhausted she was still the same woman who had comforted him, been there for him through thick and thin. Whatever lies she had been telling or secrets she hid, it seemed none of them mattered. Tony had been mad about it once before, had been angry over it on multiple occasions but Tony _knew_ Scarlett.

No matter what else, he knew that every moment they spent together, the woman she was when she was with him was real. Each touch, each word, every side glance had been sincere. That was suddenly all that mattered to Tony. Regardless of what would come next, Tony knew this was where he was meant to be. Fate wasn't exactly something he thought of very often but this felt a lot like it, an epiphany of belonging.

Tony, with time, had understood that he was always meant to be Iron Man. While that had been silly for awhile in his head, the more he thought about it and accepted it the more of a comfort it became. The next time he'd known he was meant to be something it had sounded less silly. Tony was meant to change the world with his knowledge. And now he was meant to help Scarlett, meant to love Scarlett and all that entailed.

It was terrifying, but thrilling all at the same time.

"How's your side?" Tony set down the cloth that he'd used to clean her wounds and then picked up a small suture and placed it over the wound on her forehead. It wasn't that bad, just looked like it had bled for some time without being cared for. She was pale, still, looking worse by the minute. Tony couldn't imagine anything else was bloody, not judging from the look of her.

Scarlett shook her head but didn't say anything more to him. If he had known how truly bad that stupid wound had been then he would have beaten himself up for not taking her to the hospital when he'd first discovered she was bleeding. Seeing that it was healing up nicely now, Scarlett didn't see the point. Maybe it would be something she explained when she told him the truth of everything.

Scarlett didn't want to deal with any of it. Not right now. Her head was spinning, her chest was aching and she was embarrassed. God, she'd made such a scene at the hospital, had nearly attacked Dianne Hendricks and blew her cover so hard she wasn't sure it could be fixed.

"You're really pale. Are you sure you're not bleeding anywhere else? Whatever caused the rest of this certainly could have pulled stitches."

Scarlett looked to him skeptically then lifted the bottom of her shirt and showed him the dirty, but not bloody, bandages over her side. He nodded in understanding and his gaze lingered for all but a moment before he finally asked what he'd wanted to ask since he saw her on the news that first day in the bar with Rhodey.

"What's happening with you and S.H.I.E.L.D.?" Tony folded his hands in his lap and tapped his fingers nervously together. Scarlett didn't say anything. She knew Tony was smart and she knew that eventually he'd figure out what was going on but to what extent he already knew, she was unsure. "Don't try to say it's nothing or some business deal. I saw Barton. I know he's… well he's an archer which is weird but… I also knows he's part of the Avengers Initiative. Or he was before that got nixed. I've worked with him before, Scarlett."

"Tony…" Scarlett sighed and her insides felt all knotted up. Now that the hour was seemingly at hand, it was more difficult than she thought it would be to just spill her guts. God, she wanted to desperately but saying it all out loud was like admitting it was all true. And Scarlett knew it was all real, knew it was true and happening, but part of her was afraid of saying it was so. She was afraid of falling apart and that fear was real more now than it had ever been. She'd lost Natasha and Scarlett had no idea how to tell Tony just how detrimental that was to her survival. 

As much as Scarlett joked about going through this alone, about being the tough one and dealing with it with a smile and a laugh, she knew that it was impossible. She went to Natasha because she had been desperate to stop MedCo but also to save her own life.

"Please don't shut me out." Tony hated being serious. He really did, but this was all _very_ serious and for once he didn't have any jokes lined up. These were answers he'd been waiting for.

"I can't tell you." Scarlett didn't sound very convincing.

"You won't tell me, you mean."

"You can't be involved."

"Again, meaning you don't want me involved."

"Yes, yes I don't want you involved." Scarlett exhaled deeply and felt like her chest was on fire. Her breathing was suddenly very short and no amount of calm was helping. This wasn't a panic attack, it was so much more than that. She'd overdone it. Swimming as far as she had, climbing as much as she had, carrying Clint, Scarlett felt as sick as she knew she was, which happened very rarely.

"Scarlett?" Tony picked up both of her hands and looked at her seriously. "It's a little too late for that." She held her breath. "I'm already involved."

"You've been through so much." Scarlett didn't make to pull away her hands, but suddenly it was very hard to speak around the lump in her throat. Serious conversation wasn't as easy as the joking had been but Tony didn't want her to crack jokes. Tony wanted to help her and she could see that need shining in those honey brown eyes that she had gotten lost in on more occasions than she would like to admit.

"Me?"

"Everything with Pepper, with… Manhattan. It's been such a roller coaster ride for you. The last thing you need is more to deal with. You deserve better."

"It doesn't matter what you think I deserve, that's not what I'm asking."

"I don't want you to get hurt because of me. I don't want you to get hurt period." Scarlett finally said that much out loud and now that she'd said it she couldn't stop. It didn't matter what the truth was behind her reasoning, she knew that more than anything. She didn't want anyone to get hurt because of her, not Nathan, not Clint, not Natasha, not anyone! But more than anyone, selfishly, she wanted Tony to be okay, to be safe. He was no damsel, but he had been in need of saving when they'd first met and for once Scarlett had gotten to be a knight in shining armor rather than the bearer of bad news or the grim reaper. It had felt damn good and Tony was much better for it. Ever since she'd approached S.H.I.E.L.D., the only thing Scarlett truly wanted was to do some real _good_. And nothing else had seemed to matter after she'd met Tony.

"Hey, I'm going to be fine." Tony laughed, but the worry in Scarlett's face was so real he wondered just how deep the hole she was trapped in went.

"More than anything I want you to be okay." Scarlett leaned closer and looked up at him seriously and her blue eyes were so full of sadness that Tony nearly choked up watching her.

"What about you?" Tony furrowed his brow and actually leaned back in his seat. "I want you to be okay too. Not just me." For a brief moment being so close had been claustrophobic for a hundred different reasons.

Scarlett pulled her hands away from Tony's after staring up at him for a long moment. If he knew the chaos she'd caused, the hell that had unfolded because of her he wouldn't feel that way, would he? Natasha certainly didn't.

Wiping her hand over her lips she walked to the other side of the counter and pulled the first aid kit toward her and began to pack it up. Scarlett shook her head and with trembling hands dropped the bottle of antiseptic and cursed as it clattered and broke on the tile. Crouching Scarlett picked up the broken pieces of glass, her hands stinging as the antiseptic splattered on her skin. Tony walked around the counter and crouched next to her, helping her pick up broken glass and throw it in the nearby trash can.

"You're okay, right?" Tony moistened his lips nervously and wiped his hand over his goatee. Scarlett froze and clenched her jaw to the point where her head throbbed with tension. She didn't look up from the mess of antiseptic on the ground. She wanted to tell him the truth but what if he took it the wrong way? What if he stood up and walked out? She couldn't emotionally handle losing Tony, Clint, and Natasha all in the same day. She'd never known her heart could break so painfully and yet here she was, feeling that deep ache again, incapacitate her, keep her from breathing.

Scarlett said nothing and continued to clean up the mess, looking away from the Tony and back at the pieces of broken glass that she shakily picked up. In her mind she kept trying to find a way to phrase it, to maybe start by telling him that the wound she'd had the other day had nearly killed her. How she had almost died and if he hadn't removed that blade she probably would have before anyone had the chance to save her.

Then she could tell him that she was going to die anyway. For some reason those words weighed her down even in her mind. She'd never thought of it that way, she kept clinging to that stupid little bit of hope and now here she was letting it pin her to the ground as she frantically tried to clean up a mess that was way beyond her control. Tony watched that panic take her, watched as she struggled with whatever it was inside of her head that wasn't allowing her to share these secrets.

In that moment Tony knew that some of his worst fears were realized.

Scarlett _wasn’t_ okay. She didn't have to say it anymore, he knew that she wasn't okay simply by her silence and her fear. Finally she opened her mouth to say something and sat up, still crouched. But she saw it in Tony's eyes, the realization of a truth she couldn't say out loud and instead she choked on her words. They were trapped very much in her throat.

Tony scooted closer, past the mess and looked to her seriously.

"I can help." He spoke quietly and he saw Scarlett immediately reject the notion. "If you just let me help you then I can help." Tony smiled finally, that confident, ridiculous smile that won people over so easily but even now Scarlett could see that same fear in his eyes, mixed with something else. "I'm Iron Man! Let me help!"

"Tony…" Scarlett began what he was sure was going to be a very tough let down but Tony didn't let her.

"You said it yourself! When you told Pepper off that morning. I have all these suits, a whole army of suits, of armor and they're not for me. They were never for me." Tony shook his head. Scarlett pulled back and got up, her heart racing away in her chest. Tony stood and followed her as she went to the sink to wash her hands. She was doing anything and everything to avoid dealing with what was right in front of her. Tony was tired of dancing around the truth, he wanted it, and he wanted it now. Hell he wanted _more_ than the truth, he wanted her, he wanted _everything_. Tony had never been very good with patience and he was sure that he'd been way more than patient when it came to Scarlett.

"They're to protect the people I care about, Scarlett. The people important to me." Tony followed her around the counter and hoped she'd listen to him. "Let me help you! I have all this power and money, let me do something with it. You have done more for me than I could have ever asked, just let me repay you!"

Scarlett turned away from the sink and looked to him seriously. He was beaming with pride, but with worry, and with something more. Cursing mentally she grit her teeth and pointed at him seriously.

"I can't watch another person I care about die." Scarlett was little by little letting the truth slip, more and more. With that she'd expected Tony to get upset, angry, to be hurt she wouldn’t tell him more but much to her surprise he beamed.

"You care about me, then?" He batted his eyes comically and Scarlett actually laughed and wiped her hand over her face. She started back to the bar and cleaned up the first aid kit, this time her hands reassuringly gripping each piece to make sure it wouldn't shatter like the last one did. "You're avoiding the question, Scarlett." It didn't seem to matter to Tony if she told him the truth yet, he'd gotten very caught up in those few words. He couldn’t stop smiling.

"Of course I care about you Tony!" Scarlett turned, her stomach dropping. She hadn't meant to say it like that and she certainly hadn't meant for him to read between the lines so clearly. "How could I possibly _not_ care about you?"

"So how long exactly have you cared about me, hmm? Tony walked around the island counter again and back to where she stood.

"Seriously? Everything we've talked about in the last ten minutes and _that's_ what's stuck with you? _Really?_ " Scarlett leaned with her back against the bar as Tony stepped closer and still wore that dopey smile on his face.

"Honestly that's all that matters to me in all of this." Tony nodded and placed his hand next to her on the bar.

"You're unbelievable." Scarlett slipped narrowly away from Tony and wiped her hand over her mouth again, carrying the first aid kit back to the table as an excuse to get away from the intoxicating tension that had always carried between them. There were no more real excuses not to, other than the truth and even when faced with a small bit of the truth, Tony didn't seem to back down. Worse than that Scarlett didn't want him to. Or did she? This was all very overwhelming and happening very quickly.

Tony followed after her.

"I _am_ unbelievable but now's not the time for that." Tony grabbed her elbow carefully and tried to turn her toward him but much to his surprise, Scarlett didn't budge, not even a little bit. "Aren't you going to ask?"

"No."

"I didn't get to finish."

"I know what you're going to say." Scarlett still didn't budge.

"How are you even doing that? That's ridiculous. God, you're strong." Tony looked down at her feet, amused that she'd pretty much fixed herself to the floor. Instead he walked around her and slipped between her and the table, placing his hands on her arms gently. There was very little space between them.

Scarlett took a step back and Tony took a step closer and shook his head no, as if to say she wasn't getting away so easily this time.

He didn't even smell nice today, so why was this all so intoxicating? Usually Tony smelled of expensive cologne or something equally pretentious. This was different than those moments where they locked eyes and crept so close to the line they couldn't cross, a line they had both known for some time that they wanted to cross.

They were allowed to cross it now, or at least Tony was. Scarlett had used Pepper as an excuse, a big ridiculous excuse not to get any closer to Tony, not to feel anything for Tony but the only person she'd been fooling had been herself. Scarlett shuffled backwards and Tony grabbed her arm to stop her and tugged her closer. She nearly fell against him and placed her hand to his chest to catch herself. 

Tony placed his hand on her cheek. His thumb gently brushed over her pale skin, grazing the corner of her lips. Any doubts about what he'd wanted faded away. No matter what obstacles lay in front of him, in front of Scarlett, Tony was ready to face them head on. He'd always liked a challenge and Scarlett was always, consistently, a challenge.

Closing her eyes, Scarlett leaned into his touch, a touch that always comforted and sent a flood of warmth throughout her entire being in a way that very few people ever had. She got the chills and shivered to shake them off. Tony stepped closer, his hand moving gingerly over her forearm, her elbow, and then around her back, pulling her so close that she was pressed against him. Scarlett could feel the shape of the arc reactor tucked beneath his shirt, hidden away, pressed against her chest and she swore it was warm.

Tony watched her lips part, her bottom one scraped up, bloodied from whatever she'd been through that morning but it wasn't a turn off in the least. A busted lip was _sexy_ , at least on Scarlett. Her fingers were bruised and scraped, not soft at all as she touched his cheek and even though he knew what those hands were capable of, they felt delicate as they brushed over the stubble on his face.

Scarlett's mind went completely blank. What had they been arguing about in the first place? Even talking about? Tony was very warm. Taller than her too, she liked that. As she leaned closer she could smell that cologne she thought she'd missed. It was there, she just had to be pressed against him to get the full effect. That damn cologne was going to become a damned aphrodisiac after all the times they'd come close and never gotten anywhere.

There was a reason for that though, wasn't there? It was hard to think this close to him, to think about anything other than how easy it would be to pull his shirt off, to push him against the table and have her way with him.

"Nope." Scarlett suddenly snapped to her senses, pulled her hand away from Tony's face, slipped out of his arms and walked back into the kitchen, shaking her finger at him. "Bad idea, such a bad idea."

"If you mean a very hot, sexy, _amazing_ idea, best idea Tony's had all year, then yeah okay that's a very bad, naughty idea." Tony followed her into the kitchen and she practically ran around the island to get away from him.

"You just got out of a long term relationship." Scarlett stuttered over her words, mostly because she didn't truly mean them. She knew that she wanted this but maybe she didn't deserve it after all that had happened. A man was in the hospital, for god's sake, she'd been arrested, and Natasha had made it very clear that she deserved very little of any kind of happiness, particularly the kind of mindless bliss that she knew Tony would provide and still very much wanted.

"Yeah, okay, that's what _was_ stopping me but now it seems like you were using it as an excuse and grasping at straws." Tony knew that was true, he'd known it for awhile now. She hadn't wanted to be the other woman, he got that, he understood that and he didn't want that either. They'd made that perfectly clear each time they'd somehow, stupidly, wound up in each other's arms. But now, now she was scared of what would happen afterward and Tony could see it hanging off of her.

He wasn't scared. Hell, he was excited. And not in just the obvious way.

"Don't say that!"

"Someone had to say it." Tony laughed and followed her around the island and then stopped. "This is ridiculous, you are literally running from me."

"I am not running, I am just… avoiding…"

"Avoiding a lot of fun? Really? We're both adults, Scarlett, both single adults, I might add."

"I can't believe we're seriously having this conversation, you were just grilling me about S.H.I.E.L.D.…"

"And I plan on grilling you in a completely different way before getting back to that." Tony joked and Scarlett actually stopped to laugh.

"Can you be serious? For more than ten seconds?" Scarlett pulled away from the island and Tony grabbed her wrist and tugged her much harder than necessary back to him.

"I am very serious." Tony didn't give her a chance to pull away again. They were both dancing around the elephant in the room for too long. He'd been waiting desperately for this moment, longer than he had ever waited to take the plunge with anyone for as long as he could remember.

She tried to wriggle her wrist away but Tony grabbed her shoulder and placed his other hand against her neck and pressed her right against the cabinets and kissed her at long last. She didn't kiss him back, not immediately, but it didn't stop Tony from moving closer, from tilting his head to the side to deepen that kiss, a kiss he had more than earned. He'd had dreams about what it would be like to kiss her, to peel her clothing off piece by piece and take her, but nothing about those dreams would match the real thing.

Scarlett pulled back just enough to part their lips, resting her head against the cabinets but Tony didn't budge, he didn't open his eyes. She couldn't believe he'd just grabbed her and done it, for all the times he'd hesitated she was sure that he wasn't ready to take that plunge but he'd finally done it. What was worse was that it didn't lessen that tension that had built so high between them. She thought that perhaps when they finally just kissed, for the love of god, the tension would dissipate, fade out, and maybe they would find that the mystery of it had been all there really was.

But that wasn't at all the case, no in fact it had only made things that much worse. All Scarlett wanted to do was kiss him again, kiss him and forget all about everything else. When he'd kissed her, in fact every time he merely held her, her mind was blank and that was a rare phenomenon for Scarlett whose mind was always racing, always over thinking, always over analyzing. 

So she did what she wanted for the first time in a long time. Scarlett closed that very small gap between them and kissed Tony, without thinking. At once he groaned at the contact of her lips. It had felt wonderful to kiss her, but to be kissed back made all the difference in the world. His chest practically exploded with the way his heart was beating so damn hard.

Everything moved slow at first, like someone had hit the pause button on time but that only lasted for a very short moment. Leaning away from the kitchen cabinets Scarlett stood on the toes of her boots and slipped her arms around Tony's shoulders, kissing those surprisingly soft lips with more resolve, more determination. She'd waited so long for this, they both had, and now that they'd open the flood gates the water had come rushing out and they were powerlessly lost in its flow.

Running her fingers through his hair, Scarlett pulled him greedily closer. Every pent up bit of tension pouring from her lips into his and back again. His hair was soft between her fingers, surprisingly so since she'd expected it to be full of product but it wasn't. Tony pulled her away from the cabinets, urging her to lean her body against his. For a brief second he leaned into her hand in his hair, it felt like a dream.

Their lips crashed together time and again, he took the bottom one between his teeth and left a small love bite there, inciting a delectable sound of pleasure. Scarlett leaned so close against Tony he was forced to step back to regain his balance but instead bumped into the kitchen island. His heart was beating so hard it was all he could hear, besides the sounds coming from Scarlett.

It wasn't just a kiss, it was a landslide. A landslide of every bit of tension, of need they'd pent up over the weeks past. Each touch they'd resisted, every kiss they'd longed for, drowned them in passion. Nothing else mattered.

Scarlett's nimble fingers gripped his hair while her other hand slipped beneath his jacket and pushed it just ever so slightly off of his shoulders. His arm slipped around her, pulling her tighter, holding her against him until he could feel every contour of her body pressed tight to his. Gripping her shirt he pulled her chest against his, feeling her hands slipping further beneath his jacket. Then he urged his hand downward, and the other joined it right on her ass, pulling her hips square against his. Scarlett groaned, found herself gripping at Tony's shirt. For a moment, they sat kissing, holding each other close, lips entangled, tongues exploring, greedily taking in all they'd resisted for so long.

Grabbing the collar of Tony's leather jacket, Scarlett tugged it hard away from one shoulder and then the other, forcing his hands away from where they were gripping her ass. He chuckled against her lips, giving her another love bite before the sound dissolved into a groan. Tony readjusted and then with Scarlett's assistance, pulled off his jacket, hunching away from the counter and following Scarlett as she moved so he wouldn't have to pull away from her lips.

He tossed the jacket to the ground and there was a crash, forcing them both to stop and look to see what he'd knocked over. Scarlett made to go check but he pulled her by her arm back to him and slipped his arms back around her and kissed her once again.

"But…" Scarlett muttered between kisses and Tony shook his head and bit her lip harder this time. Moaning softly, Scarlett tilted her head to the side and returned the bite, just as hard, feeling his grip on her falter. She pulled from his lips and kissed down his chin, his scruff scraping against her lips and sending shivers down her spine.

Then she bit, right on the end of his chin, not too hard, but not soft either. Tony felt the sting run through his jaw and into shivers down his spine, one hand reaching behind him to grip against the counter. One by one she pressed her fingers against his chest and slid her entire palm down his stomach, kissing over his chin, beneath it and over his neck, hashing her teeth against his scruff. When he moaned she could feel it reverberate through her lips and she shivered.

"Goddamn…" Tony leaned his head back, his breath short, his heart beating faster, his every nerve on fire with passion and excitement. Scarlett kissed down his neck, as far as the collar of his shirt would allow her. Then she tugged on the bottom of his shirt, her fingers brushing the bare skin beneath it. Every part of him was warm. He tensed up, flexed, so she could feel his muscles and she smiled against the skin of his neck before kissing back up his jaw and starting to pull his shirt up higher.

He couldn't sit idly by and let Scarlett have all the fun so he wrapped his arms around her and lifted her right off the ground with ease. Scarlett wrapped her legs around his middle and he took a few steps forward and leaned her against the fridge. It was cold on her back and so she arched it, her chest pressing against Tony's. 

Leaning her weight against the fridge, Tony pulled up her shirt, careful of the wound on her side, and practically buckled at the knees at the feel of her skin. Scarlett placed her hand beneath his chin and tilted him back to her, forced him to focus on her lips and they kissed again deeply, passionately. Tony gripped at her shirt, holding it in place, his other hand moving slowly over her side and up over the contour of her breasts, urging his hips once again against hers, adjusting her in his arms to do so.

Scarlett started again at his shirt and when finding that there was no chance she was pulling it off of him, she began to sloppily tug the buttons at the top, trying to free them. With his hips pressed square against hers, she could feel just exactly how desperately he'd been wanting this moment and it only made her want it more. Her heart was beating a mile a minute, her lungs were on fire, but who needed to breathe when someone else's touch could make her feel this damn good? 

Tilting her head to the side, Scarlett's kisses grew sloppier as she tried to focus on both that and unbuttoning his shirt. Every miss caught a bit of scruff and gave her shivers which delighted Tony, who had pushed the sleeve of her tank top off of her shoulder, his hand moving over her breast, giving it a squeeze as he pushed her harder against the fridge and rocked his hips against hers. Gasping against his lips, Scarlett gripped his shirt and rocked against him, then started to push the shirt off of his arms. The blue light of his arc reactor lit up the space between them brilliantly and for a moment, a very short moment, she was left in awe.

Then she started at his shirt, but it was pinned between her legs and his torso. Tony, hands right under her ass, pulled her away from the fridge, turned and set her down on the counter before pulling his shirt off and letting it drop to the floor. Arms back around Scarlett at once, he pulled her close, allowing his bare stomach to touch against hers, where her shirt was still hiked up.

Tony kissed down her neck, big sloppy wet kisses, greedily memorizing her skin. He wanted all of her, to know every nook, every cranny before he would rest. It was like he'd fasted before a big feast. Scarlett scooted closer to the edge of the counter, Tony urged her to continue until her hips were right at the edge.

She swore she saw stars with Tony pressed so tightly against her, her breathing was ragged, she could hear the crackle of her lungs in her ears amidst the groans that shook her to her very core as Tony kissed down her chest. Scarlett gripped at his hair, fingers tingling, numb. His hands caressed over her thighs, down to her knees and back up between her legs.

Gasping for breath, she moved her hands down his bare back, feeling the way his muscles moved as he held her, pulled at her, hungrily, greedily. Her fingernails scratched at his flesh, pulled him closer, tighter. The air was so thick between them, Scarlett couldn't breathe.

It wasn't just that, though.

She really couldn’t breathe.

Her stomach lurched and she had to turn away. Tony pulled her back, thinking nothing of it, at least until she started coughing. She couldn't _stop_ coughing! Every time Scarlett inhaled, she couldn't get the air she so sorely needed. Her body shook and trembled, she lost feeling in her fingers completely. Tony swore she was turning blue and watched, mouth hanging open in horror.

She gripped weakly at his shoulder, other hand over her mouth to try and contain the cough, but her face was turning white. Tony leaned her back against the counter, and gently urged her arms over her head and placed his hand over her chest. His heart was still racing, from the adrenaline of what he had been hoping would happen and now out of fear.

"Scarlett?" She wouldn’t stop coughing so Tony gently brushed his hand over her chest, unsure of what else to do to help other than console her. "Scarlett, talk to me, okay?" But she didn't say anything, she didn't even look at him.

Scarlett stared ahead of her, not up at him, not at anything in particular. Tony waved his hand in front of her face and when she didn't acknowledge him and just coughed and choked, her breathing short and labored, he gently turned her face toward him and tried desperately to get her to focus on something anything. The haze of intoxicating lust and excitement disappeared in a wash of cold reality.

"Scarlett! Please, please…" Tony cursed and looked around him for his phone but it was in his coat and he would have to leave her to call the hospital. Then just like that, Scarlett coughed and blinked her eyes a few times before staring up at him. Tony's bottom lip trembled, he was unsure of what to say. What had happened to her? She disappeared!

"…sorry." Scarlett whispered, her voice hoarse and sore. Tony pulled her upright on the counter and wrapped his arms around her, burying his face in the crook of her neck. Her lips were numb, hands shaking, she felt her heart still beating unsteadily, her lungs still sore and aching. She could still barely breathe.

"You were gone…" Tony whispered and she nodded nervously.

"I'm sorry." Scarlett didn't know how to tell him, she wanted to but she was disoriented and felt like she was fading quickly. She needed help, desperately.

"What happened, Scarlett? What aren't you telling me? Please…"

"I can't… I have… you have to go." She whispered but it wasn't what she meant so much as she needed help. She fixated. Scarlett had to call someone but who was she supposed to call? Jemma? Scarlett was still angry with Jemma even if she had no real ground to stand on when it came to the reasons why. Mickey? Mickey would help her or send her help at the very least. She couldn't call Natasha even though Scarlett wanted desperately to.

"Scarlett…" Tony was leaning up again and watching her. She'd disappeared again and he swore that she was upset, upset about something she was refusing to share. What a roller coaster ride of emotions. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Just… for now." Scarlett placed her hand over his lips to silence his objections. He wanted to fight her, wanted to tell her that she was crazy to make him go. "I need to get some help or… call someone and… about…" She stuttered on her words, moistened her lips. God they tasted like him, everything was so ungodly unfair. She'd been so close, and now she was left to her thoughts once again.

"I can't leave you like this."

"Please, Tony… I'm okay. This is not the first time." Scarlett drifted off. She didn’t want him to leave, she didn't, but if she was this sick she had to do something about it and fast. Maybe a week ago she wouldn't have, she would have said fuck it and done exactly what she wanted to do.

But if getting some help was going to give her more time with Tony, more time to set things right then she needed to call someone, anyone, and get help now before it was too late. Tony tilted her chin up and pulled her close to him again, brushing his lips softly against hers before kissing her.

Scarlett felt her chest ache, and returned that soft sentiment, so different than the passionate kisses they'd share moments ago. A chill ran down her spine and she shivered, before gently pulling back from his lips. Tony kept his eyes closed and shook his head.

"I'll go." Tony whispered, staring down at her lips for a moment before looking back up at her. "But we're not done here, not by a long shot. You got that?"

"I know." Scarlett nodded, her heart in her throat. Tony stared at her for a long moment, his hand on her cheek and then pulled back and exhaled deeply.

"Promise me you're actually getting help."

"I promise. No more lies. Not to you, Tony." Scarlett nodded and Tony exhaled with relief though he internally felt none. Tony retrieved his shirt and his coat and walked out without looking again back at Scarlett. If he did, he'd change his mind, he wouldn't leave, he'd pick her up, he'd make love to her and if she really did need help and did her a disservice, he would never forgive himself.

If she needed him to leave to get help, he would. He knew exactly what he'd do instead. He needed answers. Scarlett watched him leave, her chest sore, her stomach aching.

Carefully she got up from the counter and limped over to the bar. She found her phone and fumbled with the screen.

It wasn't working.

Cursing, she threw her stupid phone and went to grab her computer. It was the only way she knew how to contact anyone right now. She sighed and waited for the screen to load, her head spinning. She'd contact Mickey and find out a status from S.H.I.E.L.D. on Clint and see what they could do for her.

But the memory of Tony so close to her wouldn't fade and every time she closed her eyes she could feel his lips, his touch, and now that she'd had a little bit of it, she wanted more. 

Something had to change. No more lies. Once she'd assessed how bad the damage was to her faculties, she would go to Tony and tell him the truth. Every bit of it. She should have done it then and there, she shouldn't have asked him to leave but she wasn't thinking clearly.

She wanted Tony to hear the truth from her, selfishly. Not from Jemma, not from Mickey. Scarlett had to see it for it to mean as much as she felt it did.


	45. Recovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes when the dust settles what you miss the most is friendship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for no chapter last week! I have had a friend in town so I've been very busy. :3

_Thud, thud, thud_.

Tony's heart was pounding in his ears.

Jarvis was speaking to him but he didn't care. Tony smashed his foot on the gas pedal and sped down the highway. He half expected to see sirens in his rearview mirror. Must have gotten lucky. He didn't need to look at the speedometer to know that he was breaking at least a hundred different speed laws. Adrenaline mixed with sexual tension made it hard to sit still, to focus. Deep down, Tony felt something else. Something much worse.

_Fear._

Tony was angry but he was also scared. What the hell _happened_ back there? What the hell happened that sent Scarlett to the hospital with Clint Barton? There were no answers, but a hundred different questions. Before he knew it Tony was home, parking in his driveway and storming inside his house. Why had he left Scarlett there alone? Why had he done that? He knew he should have stayed! He didn't want to leave her like that! Scarlett had asked him to, that was why? But why didn't she want him to help her? He could have helped her! Couldn't he have?

Tony stopped in his living room, confused. Much of the building was being renovated, he'd nearly forgotten. There were people walking all around him every which way, so much so that his head was spinning. Jarvis was talking again, Tony could hear him just fine now but he didn't want to listen. He didn't want to talk.

"Sir? Sir I'm worried, you haven't responded to me since…"

"Jarvis, not now." Tony finally snapped and then waved his arm around before gesturing to the door. "People, take the day. I need this space to myself."

The contractor looked to Tony in aw, about to object but something about the expression Tony wore must have advised him against it.

"You heard the boss! Everybody out!" 

After the workers filed out Tony stared at the mess that was his living room. Everything was changing. That was good. It was supposed to be good. Most importantly it had _felt_ good.

Tony did _not_ feel good. 

On the contrary, he felt terrible.

"Jarvis, mute all incoming calls unless it's Scarlett. Pick something loud and crank it up." Tony pointed toward the ceiling and without further inquiry Jarvis did as he was told. Black Sabbath filled the house and Tony was relieved, letting his eyes drift closed. There was an insane amount of tension in his shoulders. The last hour had been a blur. A blur of passion, of gratification, and fear. What a terrible combination.

He'd finally gotten what he'd wanted, done what he wanted and it was torn away in a fit of coughing. In the back of his mind Tony had always known something was wrong with Scarlett. After that first article that had been published about her collapse, Tony had feared the worst. But he'd jumped to conclusions before and it had gotten him nothing but hurt.

Shaking his head, Tony opened his eyes. With them closed he could see her and each time those romantic fantasies transformed into a nightmare of illness, Scarlett's face as pale as it had been when she'd bled all over his lab.

Tony had to do something and the thing he _wanted_ to do wasn't possible.

Well, it was but it was nowhere near as satisfying and Tony Stark was _not_ that desperate yet. No, Tony needed to take some kind of action and burn off the manic energy that had followed him home.

Even as his ears rang and he walked across the house to his gym, even as he got changed into some workout clothing and tied gauze around his hands to keep from breaking his knuckles, Tony couldn't decide what he was actually going to do.

Honestly, he didn't even remember hanging his punching bag and beginning to beat its face in. This was not what Tony wanted to do today, no it hadn't been even in the back of his mind over the last few days. Sure, he should probably get back to his regular exercise regimen given that he was Iron Man after all but he hadn't anticipated beating the hell out of a punching bag to the point where he swore his hands were going to break.

It was a means to an end, a way to work off the tension that had sky rocketed as he'd held Scarlett. As he closed his eyes he could see her, _feel her_ pressed against him. It had been perfect, felt perfect, more than he could have ever allowed his imagination to conjure up and hell, he had definitely used his imagination very vividly when it came to Scarlett as his subject matter.

What could he say? Tony humped his way through his feelings, it was how he had always coped with pretty much everything. Sex and booze, the two most reliable things in his life. Now didn’t seem like a time for either and yet they were all he wanted. Closing his eyes again, Tony could see her, feel her hair tickling his arm, hear her laugh as they moved together. Everything had felt so natural, so perfect.

Then he heard her coughing, gagging, choking. He saw her blue eyes turn gray, he saw her disappear. She laid there and no matter how he called to her she had disappeared.

That was it, no more closing his eyes, none of that. An old familiar tightness gripped his chest, not of anxiety, not the kind he'd gotten for so long and suffered with beyond his understanding, but instead this was that fear again. What if she _was_ as sick as Dianne Hendricks had claimed she was? No one seemed to be taking the reporter seriously. No one but Tony Stark. He'd known that something was wrong with her from the very beginning. Between the S.H.I.E.L.D. detail, the odd reports of her in the papers, to the way that he'd seen her suffer with fatigue. God then the bleeding, the bleeding! 

That night where she'd bled on his desk would be something that haunted him for the rest of his life. He'd never seen anyone bleed like that, at least not anyone who was healthy. Yet he'd wrote it all off, he'd dismissed it all out of blind trust. It wasn't something that he could ignore anymore.

No, that wasn't right. Scarlett had never outright told him she was healthy, in fact, he'd never asked her if something was wrong. He'd joked around about her being pregnant once but that was only to start a conversation when she had been ignoring him. How far they'd come since then. She was Tony's best friend, his confidant! Selfishly the idea of losing her to an illness beyond his control was devastating. He shouldn't have felt that way, it was selfish, but he did. 

Tony was suddenly overcome with anger, with _rage!_

He beat the hell out of the punching bag, so hard that his fists tore at the material. He kicked it and the whole thing flew off of the heavy duty chain and splattered on the ground in a torn up mess. His breathing was haggard and part of his rage melted away as he saw it there.

If Scarlett was sick he had to help her.

Don't suffer in silence.

He knew what that felt like but he hadn't realized that was what he'd been doing. Maybe that was why Scarlett had offered him that advice. She was suffering, silently, in one way or another. It didn't matter what had happened or how sick she was, he wasn't going to give up on her. Tony wouldn't give up on what they had. For all he knew, he could be overreacting! Just as he opened his mouth to talk to Jarvis, to tell him that he needed to make contact with Dianne Hendricks as soon as possible, a voice interrupted and cut through the music that blasted loudly over the speakers.

It was very much a voice he hadn't expected to hear again for a long time.

"Tony?" Pepper Potts stood, holding her coat against her chest while staring sheepishly at him from the doorway. She looked to the punching bag torn in pieces on the floor and then back at the man she'd lived with only days before. He was upset. She shouldn't have come but Pepper hadn't been able to stop herself.

"God damnit, I am not in the mood." Tony muttered a string of curses and turned away from Pepper, running his gauzed hands through his sweaty hair. She didn't say anything, didn't retaliate. Instead she observed him, watched how he responded, how he moved. For the first time in a very long time, Pepper saw the Tony Stark who she had been such good friends with for so long. He'd always been there deep down, but part of her had forgotten who he was. "What are you doing here?" He turned partially toward her and stared. She didn't say anything, looking almost afraid to begin.

"Tony…"

"If you're here to start an argument I'm not in the mood. Everything we've hashed through hasn't changed, it's a waste of energy. I'll give you whatever you want if you just go away."

"I saw the news." Pepper spoke up, shouting over the music and over the fear that had bubbled inside of her.

"Jarvis, mute." Tony turned at last and looked to Pepper seriously.

"I saw Scarlett covered in blood and with… someone who looked familiar. They were at the hospital." Pepper seemed wary of her words, she didn't want to fight either and the way she held herself made that perfectly clear to Tony. She was like a scared puppy dog. Tony had never meant to scare her.

Tony silenced at once, he didn't have any objections. Part of him waited for her to say she told him so, that Scarlett was nothing but trouble and he should have just stayed with her and worked out their issues. He turned his gaze away and furrowed his brow, suddenly incredibly exhausted. It hung on him like nothing else and he leaned against the boxing ring nearby for support and closed his eyes.

"I thought you might need a friend." Pepper spoke, much to Tony's surprise and he made no attempts to hide it on his face. "If we can still be that. Friends, I mean."

"Now's not a great time for this." Tony decided it really wasn't. He wasn't ready to talk it out, to set new boundaries. There were three thousand things going on in Tony's mind right now and he could honestly say that Pepper wasn't a single part of them. He looked away from her and walked to the broken punching bag. With a heave he picked it up and threw it into the corner of the room. There was sand everywhere. "Jarvis, please tell me we have a backup somewhere."

Staring down at his hands he saw the blood even through the gauze on his knuckles. It'd been a long time since he'd hit anything quiet as hard as he was hitting that punching bag.

"Yes sir, in the closet. I'll order more." Jarvis spoke quietly, reservedly. Even his computer had gotten the hint that Tony was like a ticking time bomb. Pepper didn't move, didn't back away, just stood awkwardly in the doorway of the gym with her hands clasped together. Tony was devastated, probably about something relating to what she'd seen on the news. She didn't come to rub it in his face, no. Not this time. After some time away she knew that their relationship failed because of them both, not because of him and definitely not because of Scarlett.

She even knew, after some deep self reflection, that the changes that had scared her after Scarlett had shown up were good changes, at least for Tony. They were healthy changes. Tony had been more himself since he'd teamed up with Refuge than he'd been since they'd moved out of Manhattan together.

After the dust had finally cleared Pepper missed her friend and realized she'd missed him for some time. But he had also likely missed her as much as she missed him, though she had been too stubborn and too frightened to see it. He'd found a new friend in Scarlett, and their friendship was so different than theirs had ever been. 

Pepper had been jealous of that.

Tony hung the new punching bag, ignoring her continued presence. If Tony had to he would yell. He didn't want to but he would.

"You must really care about her to be this upset." Pepper spoke warily, not accusingly. She didn't want Tony to get the wrong idea. Hell, she'd even practiced with Happy before she'd come over. In exchange, Happy had practiced how to apologize to Tony too, for his absence, for his betrayal as a friend, for everything. There were many bridges to be repaired.

Tony punched the new bag and it hurt his hand instantly. It wasn't broken in yet and the abrupt break had done nothing for his strength or his adrenaline. Exhaustion was settling deep within Tony but he had no time for it. He would ignore it until his body forced him to sleep.

"You know what? I really do." Tony looked around him and then stopped the bag from swinging back at him. For a brief second he looked to Pepper and felt guilty, not because of how they'd ended as a couple, but because he was giving her the cold shoulder. No matter how many times Rhodey had told him that it was likely Pepper had been scared to lose his friendship he had never seen any truth to it.

There it was now, written all over Pepper. His friendship, his companionship in a platonic way still meant something to her and she was hoping, desperately, that it meant something to him as well.

"More than I thought I could." Tony spoke without realizing it and turned back to the punching bag before stepping back and taking another thwack at it. Pepper nodded her head and took a cautious step closer. He answered her without telling her to go screw herself, that was a step in the right direction. Maybe the damage between them wasn't completely insurmountable after all. Tony was obviously struggling with this whatever this was with Scarlett and now that Pepper could see past the hurt in their romantic relationship, had begun to move on, she hoped there was a way she could repair any damage that had been done in their friendship.

"I think she cares about you too." Pepper choked on the words, but not because she didn't mean them. It was obvious that Scarlett cared about him, that was partly why Pepper had never gotten past that irrational fear of her. "Just as much, if not more." She nodded.

"Whatever, Pepper." Tony scoffed and walked away from the punching bag and to the far end of the room where he picked up a towel. He wiped his forehead with it, the sweat staining it immediately. The shower was calling Tony's name. He ran his fingers through his hair, wishing it was Scarlett's fingers and not his own.

"No! No, I mean it. I'm not trying to be cruel."

Tony stared at her skeptically and then draped the towel around her shoulders.

"Neither of you may have realized it at the time but she fought for _you._ You don't do that for someone you don't care about. Scarlett fought _me_ for you without hoping for anything in return. When I wasn't there and you needed someone she comforted you. And on top of all of that, she trusts you."

"Don't…"

"No, look. She does. I spent more time than I should have obsessing over the way she behaved, looking for anything to defame her and… all I found was that she put this trust in you that I had long given up on." Pepper nodded, feeling the heat of emotion behind her eyes. Tony grumbled, seeing the tears forming there. He didn't want Pepper to _cry._

"I don't think this is the time for this conversation."

"It is exactly the time for it, Tony. You don't want to see it because you were trying to ignore it. For me. It was… for me. And it took me a really long time to realize it was for me. Actually Scarlett sort of made me realize it when she lashed out at me. Which I deserved, by the way. I said terrible things to her and I didn't mean any of them. I was scared and emotional."

"Yeah, well you're right about some of that."

"Tony when you walk in the room she lights up. With everyone else it's different. Even in pictures it shows! That's why the media speculates so much over you guys. It's obvious to everyone but the two of you what's going on. It's what made me so angry and insecure. Besides all the obvious stuff that is."

"Yeah, you made that perfectly clear too." Tony spoke quietly and wondered if it was true. Did Scarlett light up when he was in the room? Was that even possible or was Pepper just trying to butter him up? It was working if that was the case. Tony knew that Scarlett cared about him she'd even admitted as much but he'd tried his best to write off all of that while he was still dating Pepper.

"I saw something else too."

"Mm, you should stop while you're ahead, Potts." Tony sat on a bench at the far end of the room.

"I saw fear."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"She's scared. Maybe we can find out why."

"Am I scary, Pepper?"

"No, you wouldn't hurt a fly."

"The punching bag in pieces over there would argue very differently." Tony managed a joke and some of that tension melted away. At least in regards to Pepper. She wasn’t there to rub his face in his issues, and for the first time in a long time she genuinely seemed to want to talk to him. They had only needed to step back from their toxic relationship to do that.

"You two belong together." It pained Pepper to say that, but she'd known it for much longer than she would ever admit. That was all she ever wanted to be for Tony, was the connection that he had with Scarlett but realistically when it came down to it, he wasn't it for her either. They had so wanted to make each other happy that they had forgotten how to be happy themselves. 

"Yeah, I figured that out." Tony nodded his head and moistened his lips. "But she _is_ scared and… I think there's a hundred good reasons as to why."

"Tony, it can't be something you did…"

"No, no… it's not like that at all." Tony scoffed again but not because he thought she was being ridiculous. "She's scared _for_ me. She said it out loud and it's got something to do with the news today, with every close call we've ever had and there were many I pulled back from because of you." He side glanced at Pepper who avoided his eyes and shrugged her shoulders before coming to sit next to him on the bench. "I think she's sick, Pepper."

"Like sick… sick? Or mental? Or…"

"I don't know. Not… I mean it's obviously not mental. I… I walked out like an idiot. She asked me to go and I did because I am an _idiot._ " Tony laughed but his smile faded quickly.

"You're not an idiot. Well, not about this."

"Thanks, Pepper."

"Sorry, old habits."

"You know the only thing I ever wanted for you was happiness. I hid down in the basement because I thought that I could keep you safe if I had the tools to do so. But I knew that wasn't really why I hid. I knew I wasn't making you happy and I knew I couldn't keep you safe so I did what I always do when there's a problem."

"You try to fix it." Pepper nodded her head and sighed.

"I'm sorry I shut off."

"So am I."

"I'm sorry I didn't end it earlier."

"I'm sorry I didn't either." Pepper smiled weakly. This was what she had hoped for and it had gone better than she ever could have actually anticipated. She picked up Tony's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, careful of the blood on his knuckles. "I only wanted your happiness too Tony. I think we both forgot how important it was to be happy."

"Yeah, you're right." Tony exhaled deeply and leaned his head against the wall behind him. "Are we going to be okay?"

"We already are." Pepper smiled. "But now we have to do something about Scarlett."


	46. Discomfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing and no one is safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was very sad to write, but I also enjoyed it (because I'm probably mental or something). It's going to be a crazy busy few weeks while I prepare to publish the second part of my novel so bear with me if I'm not always on time! Thank you <3

When Mickey Pierce showed up at Scarlett's loft she didn't bother taking the keys out of her ignition. Leaving the car door open she ran up the drive, through the unlocked door, and stopped dead in the living room. There was nothing, no sound, no sign of a struggle. Laptop lay open on the coffee table, the video messenger application still running. 

Then the sound of retching echoed throughout the loft and Mickey grimaced. She found Scarlett sick to her stomach in the bathroom, lying on the floor. About an hour prior she'd received a broken transmission through Scarlett's computer. After everything that had gone down in the last twenty four hours, Mickey didn't waste a single second. 

It didn't matter that Agent Pierce had a flight back to Boston that evening or that she had been in the middle of a very important meeting with Nick Fury, the director of S.H.I.E.L.D. The moment she'd gotten the call, she'd excused herself and drove to the loft near the coast. Scarlett very rarely asked for help so when she did Mickey knew it had to be serious.

Scarlett could barely stand and barely spoke. The only words she managed were help and sorry. Mickey had never seen her, or anyone, this sick before. She had no color in her face, her eyes were sunken in and her lips were completely ashen. For awhile Mickey contemplated how to could get Scarlett into the car since Scarlett couldn't seem to stand and kept coughing every time she tried. Once the coughing fit was so bad, so violent, that Scarlett collapsed to the floor and saw stars. 

Finally Mickey said screw it and slipped her arms beneath Scarlett's knees and under her shoulders. Expecting to heave and struggle to lift the tall woman off of the ground, she was surprised by what ease she managed with.

Carrying Scarlett to the car, Mickey carefully rested her in the passenger's seat. As she reached to buckle her in, Scarlett swatted Mickey's hand away and did it herself. Her fingers were numb and her strength was waning but she hadn't completely given up. Not yet.

"You're going to be okay, Scarlett. I promise."

Scarlett nodded but everything about her body language said she believed otherwise. The only reason Scarlett _hadn't_ given in and passed out on the damn bathroom floor was because of Tony. She had to at least find enough strength, enough time, to talk to Tony and tell him the truth. More importantly she needed to say how sorry she was and just how deeply she cared for him. There had always been sexual tension, always. But it was more than that.

Scarlett thought it sounded corny, even half conscious in the passenger's seat.

Mickey wouldn't let her walk once they'd arrived at the S.H.I.E.L.D. building and Scarlett was all right with that. Part of her was done fighting, at least for now. The strength had been drained from her and at an alarming rate. She wondered if this was it, if this was _really_ it. She shouldn't have told Tony to go if that was the case. Selfishly, again, she wanted him to be with her. Being alone was torture after having had him for such a short time.

No one had ever held Scarlett's hand and asked 'what about you' through all of this. It was her own fault, of course. She'd wrote it off time and again. She was fine. Scarlett could handle whatever life threw at her! It was no big deal! 

But it was a big deal and she wasn't strong enough to do it alone. The truth was that no one was. Anyone else would have needed as much help as Scarlett did, probably more so. But no, she had to be stubborn, she had to be strong. It all seemed very stupid now. Scarlett hated the wheelchair Mickey forced her into as she was wheeled through secure doors. She'd never been to this facility before, not even for a briefing. Even when Scarlett had been staying in Malibu she had resigned to the fact that she was going to Boston for her meetings with S.H.I.E.L.D. or she would do them over the phone.

Any treatments that Jemma Simmons had arranged had also been in Boston or in a private medical facility nearby. This S.H.I.E.L.D. facility was just as nice, if not nicer, than the one she was used to in Manhattan and Boston. Scarlett couldn't take in much but from what she saw everything had a nice, calming blue hue to it. The technology here was better, smoother and she wondered absently if they did business with Tony Stark on a regular basis. She knew that S.H.I.E.L.D. had technology nearly as impressive as Tony's but it was still something to marvel at.

It was calming, taking in the S.H.I.E.L.D. facility. That was until people noticed who she was and what was happening. First it was one or two agents who stopped to ask Mickey if she needed help. Scarlett didn't hear the answer but she did hear what came next. There was a swarm of people, shouting to others, asking for help, calling for doctors.

"This way! This way." Jemma Simmons came running through the crowd of S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents. Scarlett had no idea there were so many of them working behind the scenes on what she had assumed was a simple operation since she'd shown up. Turned out S.H.I.E.L.D. took her much more seriously than she had thought and this was both troubling and a relief. MedCo, the assholes running it, the poisons they were developing, were no laughing, small matter. This poison, whatever it was doing to her body, whatever attempts it had made to alter her genome was atrocious.

It was killing her. 

Scarlett knew it would kill other people too. She couldn't let that happen and for a brief moment she was glad S.H.I.E.L.D. was there and taking it so seriously so that maybe they could stop it. Mickey carved a path through the crowd and someone else ordered everyone back to their tasks at hand. It was a voice Scarlett didn't recognize so she didn't think anything of it considering the whole room was full of people she didn't rightly recognize.

The next twenty minutes were disorienting to the point where Scarlett found herself bent over the trash can vomiting once she was left alone. There was very little left in her stomach to get rid of so there was a lot of pointless, uncomfortable heaving that devolved into painful coughing. Every so often she saw spots in her vision, threatening to knock her unconscious but she refused and fought with every bit of her being.

Mickey came in every so often, bringing her water and forcing her to keep trying to get fluids down since she would quickly succumb to dehydration at this rate. Then Mickey disappeared and Scarlett didn't see her for hours. Jemma and Leo took turns coming in to see her and observer her. Before the afternoon was over, Jemma had helped her change into a hospital gown and got her into a hospital bed before giving her a full workup. The S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent wouldn't even look Scarlett in the eye. Leo Fitz would but his eyes were full of fear and sadness.

Scarlett had nothing to say despite how many questions were asked. A team of Agents had come in to try and get information on what exactly had happened to Clint Barton to verify Mickey's account of the situation even though Scarlett was pretty sure that was a waste of time. She didn't respond, partially because she was too exhausted and partially because she was tired of answering questions. Everyone had asked her intrusive questions all damn day long, everyone from Scott, to Mikhail, to Natasha, to the press, the doctors, then Tony, and now S.H.I.E.L.D.

Scarlett didn't have any of the answers anymore.

For the first time in her life she felt utterly and completely powerless.

For the first time in her life she felt ignorant.

She didn't know how she was going to keep fighting something she couldn't see, something that struck her the moment she let down her guard. Scarlett had no idea how Clint was going to survive his ordeal and how she would ever face Natasha again. They had just buried the hatchet and now there was a rift driven so far between them Scarlett couldn't even dream of trying to build a new bridge across. Natasha had wished her as good as dead and while Scarlett knew deep down that her friend had only said so in a moment of grief she also knew the damage those words had done. If the thought had even crossed Natasha's mind enough that she felt the need to say it out loud, it was a problem.

Part of Natasha, even if it was a very small part, had wished Scarlett dead.

Scarlett couldn't be the only person in her corner anymore. If S.H.I.E.L.D. wasn't going to support her the way they had agreed to Scarlett was unsure what would happen. She thought again of Paris, of just going there under a different name and waiting for it all to end. But she couldn't and she knew she couldn't. As Jemma took vial after vial of blood Scarlett knew she had to keep fighting. It didn't matter how sick she was, she knew that MedCo wasn't done. They wouldn't stop not even with her dead. They'd get what they wanted one way or another if someone didn't stop them. 

But Scarlett was coming to realize she likely wouldn't be part of the endgame.

When Agents Simmons and Fitz came back into the room after what Scarlett assumed had been hours, they looked shaken. Fitz held his head high but he was biting his lip and Jemma was barely holding herself together.

"We got the results of your blood work." Leo spoke clearly but that fear of Scarlett still hung on him as it always had. Scarlett sat up and wiped the sweat from her brow. It didn't matter how bad things actually were she would do everything in her power to remain as poised as she could. That was just who Scarlett was. Neither agent said anything and Jemma stirred in place and averted her eyes, sniffling every so often.

"And that's it? Are you just going to stand there?" Scarlett tried to prompt them but her voice sounded shaky. It was the first time she'd spoken since Mickey had picked her up and her voice sounded strange even to her. For a moment she recoiled but did her best not to let it show. Even as terrible as she felt she never expected to _sound_ as bad as she felt.

"It's not good." Leo spoke and his voice was oddly detached like he'd prepared himself to say it over and over.

"You're not taking care of yourself, Scarlett." Jemma pushed past Leo and with tears in her eyes finally said what had been on her mind since she'd seen the results of the blood work. Scarlett shook her head and looked away. It wasn't that she had gone out of her way not to take care of herself but she hadn't gone out of her way to do a good job either. It was difficult to remember her limitations when she felt like she had none. By the time she felt them the damage was done and it was too late.

Leaning back against the pillow Scarlett stared at the ceiling. The way Jemma spoke to her she should have felt embarrassed, like a child who had disappointed a parent but she didn't. Scarlett wondered what the next course of action would be. She couldn't fight if she kept feeling like this. What if it didn't rebound this time? She'd been here before, sick as hell and sure she was at the end but then they'd treated her and sent her on her way and a day later she was surprised she'd even considered the end was near.

She couldn't think that way. It was destructive and she knew if she said it out loud someone would call her out on it. Or maybe not. Judging by the way her company was acting she thought they would maybe agree. 

Natasha would.

Very briefly Scarlett considered giving Scott exactly what he wanted. Whatever was infecting her was toxic, was killing her. If it would spare the people left defending her, the people who had tried to help her when she walked into the S.H.I.E.L.D. building with Mickey then maybe it was worth the sacrifice. There would be pain, she knew that, but Scarlett had been in pain for a long time already.

Maybe if she could find a way she could make all the fuckers at MedCo sick too and then they'd all die before they hurt anyone else. Irrational thinking but god how she wished it could be true. 

Scarlett was exhausted. 

It was probably the exhaustion that was making her feel this terrible. She had been in no shape to go on a mission that morning. Not one that had required so much physical action. While she hadn't failed she felt like she did.

"We have to change your medication drastically, you know that right?" Simmons came and sat on the side of her bed at last having collected herself. Leo was still standing dumbfounded in the center of the room, unsure of what to do. Scarlett had ignored them, at least he thought she had but the truth was that Scarlett hadn't even known they'd been talking again after Simmons had accused her of not taking care of herself.

"Yeah." Scarlett nodded, though the word sounded stupid as she said it. Very rarely did Scarlett feel _stupid_.

"No more lone gunmen." Simmons leaned closer hopefully and Scarlett averted her eyes.

"Oh, come on." Fitz finally walked over to the hospital bed. "Don't be such a damn martyr, Scarlett! You can't fix this on your own! No one can! It's much bigger than you and you damn… whatever you are, assassins, mercenaries, you all think you have to do everything on your own for whatever reason! You're not alone, Scarlett, not here! We can't help you if you don't let us! I guarantee that if you keep up like this you are _going_ to die."

"Fitz!" Simmons scolded at once.

"What? You're afraid to say it because she's… well, she's kind of got… a history of violence, but she's sick. Someone _had_ to say it."

"Ballsy." Scarlett nodded and then coughed and closed her eyes, burning from fever. "I didn't do any of this on purpose."

"We know. We read the transcript." Leo unclenched, taking a deep breath as he did. After his outburst he'd been half afraid that Scarlett was going to jump at him, but she hadn't. Realistically he knew she was too sick to try such a stunt but after the last time they'd crossed Scarlett and she'd come at Simmons with a scalpel they didn't know what to expect.

"You know it's not as simple as just being stubborn." Scarlett whispered, clearing her throat and reaching at once for the water that someone had left near her bed. "It's different. You spend so many years on your own and you forget what it's like not to be." It was true, through all of this Scarlett had felt very alone, felt she had to be strong to keep up with everything when S.H.I.E.L.D. and more than the handful of agents she personally knew had always been there for her to help. She didn't agree with S.H.I.E.L.D. methods, she didn't like being told what to do, but it had never occurred to her that when she resisted or put up a front that it was coming off as alienating or stubborn.

Scarlett had felt alone so she'd acted alone. 

It was all very complicated. She was sure a psychiatrist would have a field day with her but right now her mental state was the last thing she was worried about. The numbness in her feet and the cling in her lungs were far more concerning. Oh yeah, and the stupid fever that made her nearly catatonic.

"I get it. I guess." Leo shrugged.

"I can't imagine being alone for that long."

"I miss it sometimes." Scarlett nodded but knew that part of her life was over no matter how this played out. She wasn't giving up on adventures or chaos, that was just who she was. She just knew being alone was no longer in the cards. 

"We have to treat you right now. This fever worries me." Simmons was acting considerably less panicked after having heard Scarlett speak so clearly after Fitz had broken the tension in the room. "If I can't get it down we have to take drastic measures."

"How high is this stupid thing exactly? Because I've had… I think the highest was 104? It was stupid, I passed the fuck out on a mission." Scarlett laughed but the laughter stirred up a cling in her throat and it devolved into a cough. And unfortunately that cough didn't let up and she found herself gripping on the side of the bed and leaning over it. Quickly Simmons got up and retrieved the trashcan and just in time because before any of them could predict Scarlett was retching. It was something dreadful, a horribly sickly color that Scarlett had to turn away from before gagging again.

Simmons helped her lay back and pushed her curly hair from her face. Scarlett recoiled from the touch and Fitz placed a cold cloth against her forehead. 

"104 _is_ the magic number here. If it gets that high then that's when I am going to really worry." Simmons spoke up once she was sure Scarlett was paying attention. "Right now we're just under 103 and I don’t like it."

"No one's given me anything either. That'll help, yeah?" Scarlett felt defeated and if she looked half as defeated as she felt then it would very much explain the look on Fitz and Simmons' faces. 

"That's what we're hoping. But I needed to brace you that you're going to feel terrible after this. It's not… I know I promised when we met that I could keep the side effects to a minimum but the weeks ahead of us are going to be ugly."

"I don't care." Scarlett cut her off before she could go into detail about what she was going to feel. Right now Scarlett felt terrible, worse than she had felt thus far. Yeah, she'd been in the gutter before with this stupid poison but this was taking the cake. Maybe it was how scared Fitz and Simmons seemed but Scarlett had next to no confidence that there would be that many more weeks in her future. "Do what you have to do and we'll deal with the fallout."

"Okay." Simmons nodded confidently and then looked to Fitz. "Can you go get everything? I have it set up on a cart in the lab."

Fitz left Simmons to prepare Scarlett for treatment. It was all a big blur after that for Scarlett. It wasn't that the fever got worse, even though it was pretty miserable, Scarlett had decided that being detached for these sessions was the way to go. Even as Simmons set up an IV in her arm, Scarlett didn't move, didn't flinch. She explained she'd be in every half an hour to check on her vitals, to change medicine bags, and to watch the process as it played out.

She did, however, pay attention when Simmons insisted upon giving her an oxygen tube to wrap around her face. She said it was just in case but Scarlett's absence during her coughing fits worried them. Scarlett felt very suddenly like a cancer patient. She didn't want to insult those going through such a dreadful experience by comparing her suffering but she'd been into those facilities before and she felt this was awfully similar to the end.

For a few hours she slept on and off, familiarizing herself with the sound of Simmons coming in and out of the room to check on her while the medicine coursed through her veins, cold and uncomfortable. Someone turned the lights off for her so she could rest and despite how she tried, she was still acutely aware of everyone's comings and goings. It was an old habit, one she was sure she would never break until her dying day.

Then, heavier footsteps came into the room, ones Scarlett didn't recognize. She peeked an eye open and much to her surprise was face to face with the Director of S.H.I.E.L.D. Nick Fury, clad all in black, eye patch, trench coat, the works was staring her down with his hands in his pockets. She didn't pretend to be asleep, instead she tilted her head to the side expectantly to see what he had to say.

Scarlett hadn't met him directly before, only over the phone but she'd seen pictures and knew what to expect. They sized each other up and after a very long moment of silence, he finally spoke.

"You must be feeling pretty defeated right now."

"Buzz off." Scarlett rolled her eyes and looked away. If he was here to be condescending she wasn't going to humor him. Yeah, she was sick and had a shitty day but she didn't need Director Fury coming in there and rubbing her face in her feelings. Natasha had done that well enough for everyone already.

He walked to the edge of her bed and picked up the folder that hung off the edge of it on a metallic shelf. Flipping it open he clicked his tongue as he read it over.

"Pulmonary edema. That's a new one." He flipped the page and tapped his finger against it. "They do that ultrasound yet?"

"Nope, everyone's afraid to touch me."

"Ulcers are bad, you know. Internal bleeding is all very bad."

"No shit." Scarlett pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Localized numbness, no response to reflexive stimuli."

"Do you have a point?"

"They more than tripled your medication." Nick closed the chart and hung it back on the shelf. It had thickened considerably in the last few weeks.

"I know that. Thanks for the read along, Director Fury. How about Goodnight Moon now?" Scarlett grimaced.

"It's going to be okay." He slowly walked to the side of her bed and she rolled her eyes so far in her head that she swore she could see the bullshit behind his words. "But you have _got_ to get yourself together."

"Don't lecture me! Don't you fucking lecture me!" Scarlett sat up, pulling the stupid oxygen tube away from her nose and draping it around her neck. "You don't get to talk to me like that and then pretend you're some bullshit father figure or something. I don't need that, not from you, not from anyone. I don't need your fucking help." With a huff she leaned back against the pillows, crossed her arms and grimaced. "I don't need anyone's help."

"You _need_ help. You've got it backwards." Nick Fury didn't back down and she furrowed her brow. "You can't do this alone anymore."

"There's nothing I can do, nothing anyone can do. You read the chart as much as I have. You people tiptoe around the truth but the fucking truth is right in that chart and it says exactly what's happening to me."

"So that's it, then?" Nick walked around to the other side of the bed when she purposely glared away from him. "You're just throwing in the towel? Giving up?"

"No." Scarlett spat in irritation. "Does it look like I've given up? I don't give up."

"That a girl." Nick commended and Scarlett glared straight through him.

"Right now I need enough of these stupid drugs inside of me so I can function. Forgive me if I'm not kissing everyone's bent over asses in gratitude." Scarlett carefully put the oxygen tube back where it belonged, but only because she had promised Jemma she'd try to wear it for as long as it didn't drive her nuts.

"I get it, I get it. Cool the assault." Nick sat on the edge of the bed and Scarlett ignored him. Minutes past and still he didn't leave. Why was he there? To make her feel better? Like she needed that crap right now. "You did good work today."

Scarlett didn't respond merely made a sound of disapproval.

"I spoke to Agent Romanoff."

"Then you know how good a job I actually did." Scarlett grimaced.

"I also spoke to Agent Pierce and listened to the play by play. You really did do good work out there."

"Yeah, well I used to be pretty good at what I did."

"You still are."

"I shouldn't have been out there. It was irresponsible and now I'm in here."

"You saved Agent Barton's life out there. If you hadn't gone, if it had been any other agent, do you think that would have played out nearly as well?"

"For the last time, I am _not_ an agent."

"You know what I mean." Nick didn't stand up or continue talking so silence again fell. He still didn't leave. Scarlett took deep breaths and wondered if she really had done a good job. She thought she had at the time. Well, things had been pretty shitty, the whole situation was a mess, but she hadn't thought she handled it poorly until Natasha had ripped her a new one. She softened, finally.

"Is Clint going to be okay?" Scarlett spoke with surprising clarity. Her voice felt less scratchy, less horrid. The drugs were doing something, even if they made her feel like someone had rested weights right on top of her.

"He made it out of surgery and the prognosis is good. They're expecting him to recover just fine."

Instantly Scarlett exhaled and relaxed. It didn't make things any less stressful, any less terrifying, but at least Clint would be okay and with any luck would also be free of any of the remaining fallout from Scarlett's nightmare.

"I thought you should know that Clint wasn't the only casualty today." Nick stood up at long last. "Last night MedCo and the Crown took steps toward some endgame. There were attacks all across the country on my Agents."

"Shit." Scarlett cursed under her breath.

"It's not public yet but we're investigating our connections." Nick looked to her seriously. "I've instructed everyone to be on their guard. You should be too."

Without another word, Nick Fury left her room and disappeared down the hall. Scarlett felt her stomach turn.

That sure explained why he'd shown up.


	47. Dirty Work

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony's finally taking matters into his own hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the few week delay, I have been crazy busy working on my novel before release at the end of the month so it was tough to find time to write/edit this. Back now though!

_Bang!_

_Bang bang bang!_

Tony waited for a response on the other side of the worn motel door but there was nothing. He heard a click, the shutting of a lamp inside the room so he knew someone was there. Again, he knocked and waited for someone to say anything or open the door. No one did.

Having that heart to heart with Pepper had been just what Tony needed to sort his through his confused thoughts. The guilt he'd felt after having left Scarlett so sick in her kitchen had been enormous but Pepper had assured him that Scarlett was a smart and capable person and if she had assured him she needed to see a doctor that was precisely what she had done. Tony hadn't been in the wrong to leave, even if he had felt it so. Pepper had continued to say that it was actually surprisingly respectful given Tony's usual lack of restraint. 

Their situation was complex, it had been from the beginning, and so were the emotions Tony was now muddling through. It was normal to be confused!

For the first time in as long as Tony could remember, probably since before he'd been taken prisoner in Afghanistan, he felt like he had the old Pepper Potts back. It had never occurred to him just how long he'd been struggling with the stress of that ordeal, not until Scarlett had brought it to light. Seeing as he couldn't comprehend his own struggles, there was no way he could possibly understand how Pepper also struggled with it, how his friends had all struggled to see him going through it.

Tony understood that now. It didn't mean he was going to do much about it, but he could see it and for once many of the questions he had were answered. Why people acted so concerned about his every action, why Pepper hated that he was Iron Man. Much of it had to do with the reminder of what he'd gone through. Tony had always thought about the situation in such a selfish way. He was the one who had been taken captive! 

That simply just wasn't how the world worked. It was a rippling effect of a stone cast into the proverbial pond of life. Tony had been thrown into the damn lake and the ripples of that ordeal were still settling and they might be for the rest of his life. However, those ripples didn't seem so insurmountable now that he knew about them. For the first time ever, Tony had felt comfortable even discussing it with Pepper who actually listened.

It was amazing what removing the romantic aspect of their relationship had done for them. That pressure to make the other happy had disappeared. Pepper, after listening to what Tony already knew about Scarlett and her situation, had suggested taking drastic action which had also surprised Tony quite a bit. 

Pepper suggested reaching out to the reporter who had approached Scarlett outside of the hospital that day, who had written the articles regarding her health. After all, she was the only reporter who seemed to have any ounce of truth to her stories discussing the woman so far. Tony couldn't help but think Pepper still felt a bit of bitterness there for Scarlett deep down but he guessed that wasn't something that would so quickly fade. He never expected them to be friends, that would just be plain awkward.

This was how Tony had wound up outside the door of a motel off of the highway, banging on the door of the reporter who had checked in weeks prior.

"I know you're in there!" Tony shouted through the door when no one answered. He'd tried contacting her by telephone, by email, but had gotten no response. Hell, Tony had even spoken to her boss on the east coast and had gotten a message saying she was unavailable to speak with him, despite how their paper would love to get his word on the matter. "I'm not leaving!"

In fact, Dianne Hendricks hadn't checked in with her boss in about a week which was disconcerting to all at the office. Tony banged on the door again and finally the light flickered back on and the door swung open just enough so that Dianne could peer through the chain with worried brown eyes.

"Leave me alone!" Dianne looked exhausted, her short dark hair half standing up in back as though she had been leaning against it in the same spot for quite awhile. "I never meant for Miss Damien to end up arrested like that, okay? Just leave me be!"

"That's not why I'm here!" Tony placed his hand on the door to keep her from slamming it just as she tried to. Dianne blinked her eyes closed, pinched the bridge of her nose and looked back up at him. 

"Then what? What could I possibly do for you, Mr. Stark?" Dianne was exasperated but while she was still on her guard seemed suddenly more curious about his intentions.

"You've been writing about her for a long time now." Tony started hesitantly, pulling his hand away from the door. He'd never wanted to appear threatening, but he'd realized in an instant that banging on her door for a half an hour and forcing her to keep the thing open after she finally answered was probably pretty intimidating. "I need to know what you know."

"I don't think that's a good idea, Mr. Stark." Dianne sighed and once he'd backed up she removed the security chain on the door and kept it open just wide enough that she could look through it comfortably. Behind her, Tony could see that her hotel bed was covered in files, paperwork, photographs and an old outdated laptop.

"Come on, I know you've got good sources. You're the only reporter who ever has any semblance of honesty when it comes to Refuge and Scarlett. You're the only one who really connected the dots with S.H.I.E.L.D." He smiled charmingly, hoping more and more that she would open the door, let him in, and they could finally talk. Tony was getting answers whether or not he would get them from Scarlett.

"I'm sorry Mr. Stark but…"

"Please!" In frustration he slammed his hand against the door frame and Dianne stepped back in awe. "I need to know! Scarlett won't tell me!" Taking a deep breath Tony placed his hand to his forehead and stepped away from the door. "I have to know what I'm up against here because she's scared to say it out loud. I need to know if she's sick and if she's sick just how sick she is. There has to be something I can do to help her. Before you go all feminist rant on me about her not needing saving, just… it's not like that. I don't think she needs a hero, but I think she needs help. I think she doesn't have to be so damn alone and I want to help her. I _need_ to help her." Tony couldn't believe he said all of that as quickly as he did and honestly he wasn't sure if Dianne would even understand half of what he said but it seemed to get to her.

She opened the door a little wider and smiled at him. Tony Stark wasn't known for this type of behavior, or maybe it was right up his alley. Passionate, does what he wants, speaks without thinking of the consequences. Maybe this was a side of Tony Stark that the media had been waiting to reappear for years.

"Okay."

"Okay?" Tony narrowed his eyes suspiciously. He hadn't actually expected her to give in so easily. Honestly, he'd been thinking about pulling out his checkbook to see if he could buy her information but maybe that wouldn't be necessary. "Just okay?"

"I'll help." Dianne opened the door the remainder of the way and gestured inside her motel room, allowing him access. "I didn't realize that you loved her. I thought it was just a fling."

Tony's eyes widened and he froze in front of the open door.

That was not what he'd said! He hadn't said he'd loved her, had he? Had he thought about how he loved her? He wasn't even sure he'd used that word about anything that wasn't food in a very long time. He went to speak, opened his mouth to correct her but no words came out.

"Are you coming in or what?" Dianne waved toward the door. "You're letting bugs in."

"Uh, wait, what?" Tony blinked finally and then exhaled deeply before meandering inside the motel room and closing the door behind him. He curled his lip in disgust and then cleared his throat. This was definitely the cheapest motel room Tony had ever set foot in. "I didn't say that, you know."

"Sure. You didn't have to." Dianne waved him off and didn't think anything else of it but Tony was still trying to wrap his mind around the concept. He was denying it now, of course. Love wasn't like that. Love came with time. There was no such thing as love at first sight, that was mistaken for lust of course! He knew that.

But it wasn't like they had just met. It had been quite a long time now and it wasn't like he hadn't been attracted to Scarlett from the get go. Was this that though? Was this feeling love? Could it be why he felt so damn horrible and practically sick all the time? The thought of losing her made him physically ill. That was something he hadn't experienced outside of the anxiety that had plagued him for so long.

Maybe he _was_ in love. 

Oh boy, what a weird day it had been for Tony Stark.

"Sit down, make yourself at home."

"Yeah, that would take a lot more than sitting down." Tony joked but pulled up a chair careful not to touch the underside of the table. 

"Sorry, I have to stick to a pretty tight budget. The paper I work for is pretty limited."

"Yeah, so I've read. Don't worry this is… fine. Fine." Tony nodded and cleared his throat but his smile was forced and his discomfort read easily on his face. Still, he tried.

"Sorry about ignoring you too." Dianne winced but then smiled a little. "I thought you were pissed because I had her arrested or something. I tried to get them to let her go, honestly. I was just worried."

"Yeah, I know that. I can tell by the way you write that you have a pretty high opinion of Scarlett."

"I do. She threw me a bone when no one else would, really. I know that I've been writing about her nonstop for awhile but… someone should be." Dianne's eyes sparkled. "There are so many lies out there, so much speculation in the tabloids I figured that someone should be publishing an ounce of the truth. As limited as the truth is."

"So what is the truth, then?" Tony leaned forward curiously. The odds were that Dianne had less information than he suspected, but it was the only lead he had. She had been well informed on most of the stories addressing Scarlett's mishaps in the months past, but what were the odds she had more information than she was publishing?

"I don’t know how helpful any of this is going to be Mr. Stark."

"Tony, just call me Tony. I hate the whole mister thing unless it's foreplay and even then it has to be the right mood…" Tony smirked and Dianne rolled her eyes.

"Fine, Tony. So, I have to ask you to promise something before I start."

"What's that?"

"That you're not going to tell anyone else about any of this." She looked to him seriously, hand over a file folder in front of her. Tony cocked an eyebrow curiously but figured she was just protecting her story so he shrugged.

"I might tell Scarlett at some point, and… well probably Pepper and Rhodey. Okay, I'm bad at secrets so I'll probably tell everyone I know."

"I meant news outlets. That kind of thing. I don't want anyone else spreading this stuff around."

"All right, that I can agree to." Tony nodded resolutely and she exhaled deeply and rotated her shoulders to try and ease out the tension in them.

"There's a man. I thought he was just some… engineer. At first glance that's what he appeared to be. To be honest I thought he was a dead end and ignored him for a really long time. Then I brought him to Miss Damien and she told me to back off."

"A man?" Tony immediately grimaced. He couldn't be jealous, he didn't know anything yet. Still, there he was, insides seething at the idea of some other guy being involved.

"Scott. Scott Aaronson, very generic name. I thought it was an alias at first but no he's just some guy from the mid-west with a very boring name. By all accounts he's dead."

"So why is he important then?"

"He was an engineer for a really long time for several smaller companies in Africa. Wanted to make a difference or something. That's what I could garner or what his past coworkers said about him. Apparently Scarlett worked there too but under a different name, or at least that's what I guessed. When interviewed I couldn't find anyone who recognized her. The closest I came was to a drunk and disorderly charge against a woman who vaguely looked like Scarlett but apparently had an accent. I couldn't publish any of that with such limited resources anyway."

"All speculation."

"Right. I decided to follow Scott's career because Scarlett's is nonexistent. She's hard to track down and honestly, file wise, she didn't exist until last year. There are a few drunk and disorderly criminal records with her name on them in places like Germany but no time was ever served and all charges were eventually dropped. But that's it. So Scott… he sounded like a good guy by all accounts."

"And yet you don't sound convinced." Tony wasn't convinced either. By the way Dianne was talking he had a very bad feeling about this Scott character. 

"He was hired by this company. By all accounts the Medical Engineering Development Corporation, or MedCo for short was a legitimate company hoping to develop cheaper medical devices such as CT machines, x-ray machines, and the like. A little further digging and I found that they are not at all that. It was a shell for what they truly did. MedCo is actually a terror organization committed to the idea of superiority through biology."

"Shit." Tony wiped his hand over his mouth.

"Their commitment to remaining a seemingly charitable organization has faltered in the last year severely. They've sort of gone off the map actually and the timing is remarkable."

"Scarlett must have come into the limelight around the same time."

"Exactly. But I don't think she had any kind of dealings with them. In fact I think it was the opposite. From what I can tell Scott was receiving money from MedCo for a very long time. That must have meant he was doing something for them. I don't know his connection to Scarlett and I don't really know what he was doing with MedCo but in my job I've learned that coincidences are very rare."

"May I?" Tony pointed to the folder in front of her and Dianne nodded and handed it to him.

"That's everything I have on Scott. He's supposedly dead but there was a passport issued for someone with the same name months ago. Then he fell off the map. There's no signs of him since. There are traces of MedCo here and there but every time I find anything it's gone the next day or I'm stopped by something beyond my control." Dianne sighed as she watched Tony flip through the pages and pages of content she'd collected. There were old photographs of Scott, a dorky looking man, thin, tall, but with sparkling blue eyes and messy blond hair. He wore glasses and Tony immediately thought he was definitely not Scarlett's type.

Scott couldn't look more different from Tony if he tried! Then again, he had those same playful eyes that Nathan had. Maybe Tony was the anomaly and not the other way around. He couldn't over think it. At least he had more information than he'd come in with even if he also now had irrational jealousy for someone who he wasn't even sure had a romantic connection with Scarlett.

"So what does any of this have to do with Scarlett?"

"She's hiding from MedCo. I've figured out that much." Dianne nodded resolutely.

"How?"

"There have been… incidences that you've probably noticed in the papers. Her passing out and going to the hospital? That was an incident. I checked where it reportedly happened and found nothing. However, I found that Scarlett's car was charged with a parking ticket a garage near the wharf in Boston that night. Once there I found signs of a struggle. I found a broken needle. I found a badge and inside it was this… crown looking thing." Dianne tilted the folder Tony held toward her and dug through the pile of papers and pointed to the badge that she still had in her possession. "That symbol doesn't belong to MedCo it belongs to another terror organization called the Crown. They were very active in Russia awhile back, but we didn't really hear much about it in the media here."

" _Another_ terror organization?" Tony hoped that this didn't mean that at some point Scarlett had been in bed with one of these organizations. He'd like to think that she was overall a woman with good intentions, even if her past was littered with chaos. Tony knew he was no saint, so who was he to judge?

"You see, the Crown disappeared and then MedCo was founded. I think the mind behind the Crown found a new partner and they expanded their operation. Work in Russia was too difficult so they moved to Africa where they pretended to do good for a very long time until they disappeared as well. So in short…"

"MedCo is the one that put Scarlett in the hospital that night. They're after her." Tony shook his head in disbelief. Of all the things he'd thought he'd figure out that day this wasn't on the list.

"There's more you should probably know that doesn't get into the paper either, more she's hiding." Dianne whispered as Tony flipped through the files and he closed the folder in his lap. "She has regular meetings with S.H.I.E.L.D."

"That I knew from first glance, actually."

"Going to sound a little creepy but it comes with the job. I researched the agents who come in on the same days as her and who I see talking to her and I narrowed it down to see who she was actually meeting with. They were doctors who worked for S.H.I.E.L.D. I saw their credentials and while they are officially listed at as agents they are also most definitely doctors. One of them is strictly a medical doctor but he hasn't been present at the last few meetings."

Tony didn't respond and that was partially because he already knew something was very wrong with Scarlett. Dianne had reported that she thought there was an underlying medical condition before in her paper but Tony had never read her words as grave as they sounded coming from her lips.

"I think she's undergoing some serious medical treatments. I have no idea what they could be though. It's not cancer treatment because she has none of the symptoms of someone undergoing something like that but… it's not good either. She's lost weight, color, energy. Whatever it is she's being treated for it's being handled by S.H.I.E.L.D. and kept very quiet. You can see it on her after her visits to S.H.I.E.L.D. It's all very obvious when you put it together. At first I thought it was just a good story, one that I had come up with on my own but I know that there's truth to it now."

"What could it be?"

"That's just it, I have no idea. I can't get my hands on her medical files or her blood work. Honestly, I've tried and all that's available to anyone is… well it's not the stuff S.H.I.E.L.D. is handling." Diane nodded resolutely. "I thought there might be more about it in Refuge's files but I can't get into those at all."

"So if you know so much about Scarlett and her past then why haven't I seen half of this in any of your articles? This is quite the story and you would make your little paper a hell of a ton of money." Tony tapped the folder in his lap.

"What do you mean?" Dianne furrowed her brow.

"You're not cashing in on any of this."

"Look, there's more to it. There was this attack in India and it had MedCo written all over it. It was the same day that Scarlett was reported to have been admitted to the hospital. Then I found this small article about these founders of this textile company in London. Mr. and Mrs. Hurst. They were killed and I'm sure it was by a man named Erick Reno who works or worked for MedCo. He was reported dead a few weeks ago."

"And?"

"I think Scarlett knew them. I don't know how she knew them but I flew here to tell her that they were dead and she played it off really well. I mean, remarkably well but she told me she knew Erick Reno and to pursue him. That's how I found this, all of this. The connection to MedCo, to the Crown, to Scott. I had information on Scott before, I saw his name on a file she carried but… I never would have uncovered it if Scarlett hadn't given me that missing link."

"You think she wanted you to know?"

"I do." Dianne nodded. "I thought we had a strange connection and maybe it's because she always gave me a story and threw me a bone."

"Maybe because you were the only one who asked her questions that weren't so superficial."

"Maybe." Dianne smiled weakly and then closed her eyes. "You see, Mr. Stark… I mean Tony. This isn't just a story anymore. There is a trail of bodies behind Scarlett now and she's in some serious trouble. Someone is killing people she knew and cared about to get to her. This whole thing with S.H.I.E.L.D.? With Refuge? It's a front. They know that MedCo, or whatever name they're using now, isn't going to want the media attention that Scarlett has. I just don't know how long that's going to remain true."

"That's one hell of a claim." Tony whispered but the sincerity in Dianne Hendrick's voice was remarkable and he was inclined to believe her. Why would she lie? If any of this was true Dianne would make a small fortune and great leaps in the world of journalism!

"This is a woman's life, Tony. Not a story, not at all."

Tony smiled a little. He had never once heard those words come from a reporter.

"I don't want to get famous. I never did. I'm a damn good writer, a damn good reporter, Tony and if I wanted to be working for the New York Times or sitting on Sixty Minutes I would be. All I've ever wanted is to bring people the truth that they deserve."

"A long forgotten art in today's media."

"I have learned through this story that not all truths are meant to be shared. I struggled with that with Miss Damien for a long time. She is so damn interesting and so damn smart and I have been cheering Refuge on from the get go but the more I did the more frightening the truth really became. Some things don't need to be known, not necessarily kept secret but… I don't think the world has the right to this story. I don't even think I do. Not until she's safe that is."

"You really believe that? You could get fired for this. If your boss knew you had all of this information and that you were choosing not to publish it…"

"I don't care. That's a risk I am more than willing to take. I just want justice now. I want to help if I can. Refuge is changing the world. I don't think Scarlett was always a good person but who of us always is? I don't think she was ever involved with MedCo, with the Crown. Morality is what defines us and I know that she means well with whatever she does even when she… can be a real bitch."

"That's… that's true." Tony chuckled but his face fell very quickly. The gravity of this situation was much stronger than he had anticipated. Part of him had known that the truth would be terrible but he hadn't ever anticipated it would be quite _this_ terrible.

"That's why I don't report on this Tony. I want to help."

Leaning forward in his chair, hands on his knees he scrutinized Dianne Hendricks. She really had done everything in her power to help thus far, from what Tony could tell. Her stories about Scarlett had toned down in the weeks prior and while they had still been true, from what he could tell, they didn't report any of _this._ From what Tony could see in the file, she had this information now for quite awhile now.

At any time Dianne Hendricks could have published the story of her life and Scarlett's would have been turned upside down. 

But she hadn't.

Dianne Hendricks was a good, smart, noble woman.

Tony leaned back in his chair and nodded his head.

"What do you say we joins forces and we can do just that? Get justice."

"I… I… _what?_ " Dianne was puzzled and it showed on her face. Her jaw dropped. "I'd need Refuge files and better S.H.I.E.L.D. information to get any further and it's a road block and a half, let me tell you."

"Fly back to Boston and go from there. I can help you get into those files." Tony assured, as if this was nothing. "I'll pay for your ticket, you won't have to worry. Just pack your things and go, don't stress about finances. Give me your information and I'll give you the money you need."

"What am I supposed to look for?"

"I need you to find out what's wrong with her. Health wise. I'll handle MedCo." Tony nodded resolutely.

"Okay." Dianne leaned back in her chair, stared vacantly for a moment and then exhaled. "All right, okay. Let's do it. It would be an honor to work with you Tony." Standing up and smoothing out the bottom of her ruffled shirt she then extended her hand for Tony to shake.

"Thank you." Tony shook her hand and then clasped it with his other one. "You have no idea how much this helps me."


	48. Come Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It only takes a few words to end a friendship. It takes a whole lot more to repair one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, thanks for the unwavering support here guys, you really are the best. This is a short chapter but it serves a purpose. Thank you for coming every week to read! That being said my novel comes out on Thursday! I'm doing some art/novel give aways on Tumblr so if you'd like to support an indie author or get free art clicky this link! http://cursednovel.tumblr.com/post/146312473645/in-honor-of-the-release-of-the-second-part-of-my

Shuffling her feet along the concrete walkway to the front door of the loft, Scarlett stopped in front of the it with a heavy sigh. Instead of opening it she leaned her forehead against it and slumped against it for a very long time. It felt cool and comforting against her feverish forehead. The sky was overcast, much like her mood. Every part of her felt heavy from the day prior.

Medicated.

That was the word she was looking for but the more she focused the more she resented it. Grumbling a string of obscenities beneath her breath, Scarlett fumbled with her key in the door. Every bit of her anger was directed now toward the key, not the shaking hands that failed to complete the simple task. No, this was _all_ the key's fault. Stupid key. Wouldn't fit in the damn lock. Sabotaging her attempts to get inside and escape the elements. Slowing down her progress toward a nap!

Finally she successfully unlocked the door, opened and slammed it closed behind her. The first aid kit was still sitting on her countertop, her laptop still tilted open with a poor connection. Scarlett wanted nothing more than to curl up in bed and sleep this dreadful feeling away. That wasn't exactly an option given the state of things but still it didn't stop her from dreaming about it. She knew she should call Tony but who could blame her for being hesitant to get into a conversation that started and ended with "hey, I've been lying about my health and I'm sort of might be dying"? 

With another grumble Scarlett flopped onto the couch. The moment she rested her head back and closed her eyes there was a knock on the door. Probably someone from S.H.I.E.L.D. who had been waiting and watching to make sure she got home safe. She was not going to deal with a babysitter, it was out of the question. Yes, she was sick, but she was doing what she was told. No more missions, she took her damn medication, brought home another bag of fucking daily medication, and now she just wanted to be left to her own devices. There was plenty Scarlett could accomplish from her computer.

"Go away." Scarlett yelled when there was another knock on the door. For a moment there was silence and she waited expectantly but then another knock came and she grunted in annoyance and flopped backwards on the couch. Grabbing a pillow she shoved it over her face and yelled more obscenities into it. 

Then the lock turned on the door and Scarlett sat upright and considered maybe it would be an actual intruder and _not_ a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent. She thought she'd done a pretty good job of hiding her whereabouts these days, but who knew anymore? Then again, an intruder probably wouldn't knock first. S.H.I.E.L.D. knew where she was and Nick Fury had alluded to S.H.I.E.L.D. being compromised so there was a good chance that the powers that be knew exactly where to find her.

The door opened a crack. It wasn't an intruder. 

It was Natasha.

"Ugh, go away." Scarlett sat up and made an attempt to fix her hair. Glancing at her reflection in the dark screen of her laptop she grimaced. There was no fixing that. It was everywhere. She needed a shower desperately. And a massage. And to not be sick. That would all be very nice.

"No."

"I'm not in the mood to argue with you. Or be belittled by you, either is super not appealing right now."

"I don't care." Natasha slipped her fingers between the door and the frame and removed the security lock with ease and then shoved a small tool back into her pocket. "We need to talk."

"You mean _you_ need to talk. I'm perfectly content with silence." Scarlett sighed and closed the screen of her laptop. "You don't get to break into my place because you _need to talk._ "

"Like you'd do any differently if the tables were turned."

"Ah, yeah, things would be different if the tables were turned. We wouldn't be here." Scarlett practically bit as she spoke and Natasha stood her ground but very much averted her eyes.

"I didn't mean it." Natasha took a step forward but even as the words left her lips they felt strange. These weren't the types of conversations these two were used to having and yet it felt like it was the only time they spoke anymore. Feelings were annoying, in the way, but in abundance as the days passed. The situation was far too dire to let it go. Life was much shorter than either of them had ever realized.

"Oh?"

"I didn't mean what I said to you yesterday." Natasha continued.

"Oh, yeah you did." Scarlett laughed in disbelief and stood up before walking into the kitchen. She needed a drink. As she walked to the half empty bottle of scotch on her counter she reconsidered and grabbed a glass of water. Too many drugs in her system. Simmons told her not to drink and she promised she'd listen. If she wanted to function for what she knew would come next, she'd have to make sure she was on her guard as much as possible.

"Scarlett…"

"No, you meant it." Scarlett drank from the glass but it did nothing for the annoying cling that developed in her throat overnight. "And you were right. I went about this all wrong, Romanoff."

"Don't call me that." Natasha moistened her lips in frustration. Were they really going to drag this out now? She wanted to apologize and move on, but she wondered if it would ever be that easy. Wishing your friend dead really sort of removed the whole concept of friendship entirely.

"I'll call you what I want to call you. I'm changing the game, Romanoff. Right now I need S.H.I.E.L.D. because I simply can't function without them but you were right. I never should've come to you, to them. I've put countless people in harm's way and I don't think I realized just how many until yesterday. Involving you was a big mistake."

"Don't be like this." Natasha sighed. "You're over tired."

"Don't tell me what I am and what I'm not." Scarlett tapped her hand on the counter. "You people at S.H.I.E.L.D. are really good at that. If I hadn't been blinded by fear I never would have come to you. I should have sucked it up and burned that bastard's body, gone off the grid and hunted them down one by one."

"They would have killed you." Natasha shook her head.

"You forget how good I was at my job. I forgot for a little while too. You got in my head. Made me insecure."

"You did the right thing. I'm your friend."

"Oh, you see that's where you're wrong." Scarlett pointed at her. "There are no friends in what we do. Just alliances. I should have gone to _him_ not you. He's a stronger alliance."

"He would have gotten you killed."

"But he would have gotten the job done without putting all of you in danger." Scarlett sighed. Half of what she said wasn't true but she was cranky and tired. If she made Natasha go away then she could finally nap and go from there. She just needed to be nasty which wasn't hard. Scarlett had always had a way of getting under someone's skin when she wanted to. "I'm putting an end to this one way or another. And to be quite frank, I don't want your help."

"You would've been killed then and you will be killed now." Natasha walked to the other side of the counter and glared at the taller woman. She came to apologize, but if Scarlett was going to be stubborn and stupid, she'd have to be just as nasty. They'd never held any punches before, so she wasn't going to now.

"You don't get it. I'm dying either way, Natasha. At least this way no one else is caught in the crossfire. You focus on getting S.H.I.E.L.D. clean because I know it's compromised. I'll do what I have to do. It's only Mikhail now and I did a good number on him. Scott is of no consequence. Jackass never could pull off anything big on his own anyway. He needs Mikhail. He needs me. Always the side kick." Scarlett mused.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know how to explain that any clearer."

"You're not going to die either way, Scarlett."

"You can't tell me you're here just to apologize because you felt like I deserved an apology. You showed up to apologize because you read my file. Or someone made you feel guilty. Besides, you were there when I was in the hospital that day. You know how bad this really is. You knew it before it even hit me."

Natasha didn't say anything but shook her head. She'd gone pale. Scarlett walked around the counter and stood in front of Natasha.

"They tripled my medication, Romanoff. Simmons wouldn't tell me but I did the math myself. If it keeps going this way I'm done in a month. That's if it doesn't get worse before then." Scarlett waited for Natasha to say anything but there were no words. The redhead just stood there, glaring up at Scarlett. "That gives me a good three weeks to fight or at least until I can't feel my damn fingers anymore. I'm not going to curl up and cry, Romanoff. If I go, I go down swinging."

"It's not that simple." Natasha whispered at long last.

"It seems pretty simple. The only person I'm answering to these days? Is Tony. And to be perfectly honest I'm going to ask him to hide." Scarlett swallowed the lump in her throat. She knew Tony wouldn't hide. Hell, she knew half of what she said was a blatant lie. Scarlett was mad at Natasha, madder than she'd expected.

"It isn't about you protecting anyone, Scarlett. It's not about you keeping us safe. I made it about that. I'm sorry."

"You're not."

"If I can't tell you what you are then you can't tell me either." Natasha pointed angrily at the floor at the proverbial line in the sand between them. "This is about me caring about you. About everyone at S.H.I.E.L.D. caring about you. Do you think we risk our necks because we have to? No. Jinx, Mickey, Maria? Simmons? Fitz? Even Ganter cares. You have done everything you can to keep us safe even going against your better judgment."

"Shut up, I don't need a pep talk."

"You didn't just come to me in a moment of panic, Scarlett." Natasha shook her head. "You don't do that. You're not a moment of panic person. You're calculative."

"You don't know how scared I was."

"I do. Trust me I do."

"Why don't you just get mad and leave? I know you want to."

"Because you're lashing out to get me to go."

"Yeah, take a hint."

"No." Natasha shook her head. "You thought by coming to me that I'd arrest you. You didn't care. Scarlett, you are a criminal. Like a…. international terrorist level criminal and have been for years. Just like I was. You came to me because you knew I would have to bring you to justice. Then maybe someone would listen to you and just maybe… even if you couldn't be saved, you could save other people."

It was Scarlett's turn to go silent. 

"You thought about going to him, I know you did. He asked me why you didn't. I told him I didn't know but I do."

"Enough."

"He's a killer. He's not changing anytime soon, Scarlett. You knew that. I know that. It's why I told him to back off years ago."

"You what?" Scarlett blinked a few times at the revelation. "I am going to pretend you didn't say that because my time is too short to be this mad at you."

"The only way you were saving anyone was coming to me. Coming to S.H.I.E.L.D. You never expected to save yourself." Natasha watched as Scarlett walked and sat on the couch, placing her head in her hands. It was spinning, the whole world was spinning. She didn't want to deal with this anymore. Why couldn't Natasha just be like a normal person and get the fuck out when she got like this?

"Just let me do this." Scarlett sighed.

"We can stop this but we have to work together. I don't care about S.H.I.E.L.D., I care about you. We can do this. We can save you."

"You just said it yourself, I wasn't trying to save me." Scarlett felt suddenly weak. The rush of anger that she'd felt upon seeing Natasha melted away and her hands trembled, not out of fear, not out of upset, but from the stupid medicine she'd been given. Even now she could feel her stomach rebelling on top of everything else. Coughing she covered her mouth and avoided Natasha's gaze. "I can't watch anyone else die because of me. You keep everyone safe and I'll do what needs to be done."

"I'm not going to do that." Natasha sat down next to her with a sigh but kept enough distance between them as not to encroach on Scarlett's personal bubble. Right now her attitude was all over the place.

"I won't watch anyone else get hurt, Natasha."

"Do you think anyone is going to sit idly by and watch you stick your neck out for everyone? Someone has to stick their neck out for you too. Do you really think I'm not going to? Or that Tony isn't going to? Or Mickey? Or Jinx? Or any of us?"

"I can't ask any of you to do that. It was selfish of me ever to assume you would."

"Clint is going to be just fine." Natasha finally sighed and held up her hand. "I lost it because I am too close to everything and I felt guilty for not keeping him from going back under cover."

"Yeah, that was really fucking dropping the ball there." Scarlett rolled her eyes. "I'm pretty pissed at all of you for that, by the way. If it were my team? Never would have happened."

"I was torn between you and him. And he insisted. It's real tough working with people like us. We're all the same level of stubborn." Natasha smiled a little and Scarlett rolled her eyes again. "He'll be fine. Still in the hospital for awhile but he's a fighter. Did you hear what he managed to do at least?"

"No, I was too busy vomiting." Scarlett looked back to Natasha deadpan. "And everyone's afraid of me at S.H.I.E.L.D. so the only person who ever tells me anything is Nick Fury and I have spoken to him in person once. Total. So no, I don't know anything."

"Before they caught him he managed to swipe some valuable information off of the computers. He shoved a memory stick in his wound to keep them from finding it. It's gross but we sent it back with Mickey so they could take a look at it." 

"Didn't get damaged in the water?"

"It was really in there. You don't want to know how far in there." Natasha grimaced. "Clint wanted to thank you for getting him out of there. Said you did good work."

"Well, I'm good at what I do so I'll make sure he knows it was no problem." Scarlett sighed.

"We're a team Scarlett, you can't just abandon the team."

"I was never going to abandon the team." Scarlett groaned in annoyance. "I just wanted you to go away."

"You can't get rid of me so easily."

"I'm learning that." Scarlett grimaced.

"If you don't let us help you then a lot of good people are going to die. Including you."

"Oh, I'm not a good person." Scarlett laughed, but it devolved into a cough which only served to irritate her so she slammed her fist against her chest to try and urge it along before she cleared her throat and spoke, her voice gritty and broken. "Never was. Not the type worth saving, Tasha."

"You're wrong." Natasha smiled, glad that they'd reached some sort of normalcy in their conversation. At least she wasn't being assaulted by her last name anymore. "Everyone is worth saving. Even as a shitty a person as you."

"Hmm, well haven't you become quite the optimist."

"That used to be you but you're really bringing me down right now."

"Maybe because someone told me I should have died." Scarlett retorted.

"I'm never going to live that down, am I?"

"I’ll make sure Clint gives you a hard time about it after I'm gone."

"Morbid."

"Yeah, probably the drugs talking." Scarlett knew it wasn't, but she wouldn't argue optimism and pessimism with Natasha. The redhead leaned back on the couch but didn't speak. Scarlett guessed she wasn't going to be left alone for a little while.


	49. Full Collapse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long pause in updates, guys! It's been a crazy summer here on my end. Should be back to normal though, updating every Friday. I'm already several chapters ahead so don't worry. (: Enjoy! And thanks for reading. And having patience with me!

The exquisite modern high rise loomed a glassy and intimidating reflection, towering overhead. Even so, it's unique, sleek design was still admirable. Tony hadn't been in this parking lot, standing in this shadow for a very long time. The moment felt completely surreal; out of time. There was no sign, no label as to where he was for this place needed no title to be known for what it was.

Those who passed by knew without a doubt what this building was home to.

Stark Industries.

Not the Stark Industries Tony's ex-partner and once mentor Obadiah Stane had run into the ground. No, this was the new, completely rebuilt from the ground up headquarters for the future of Tony Stark's company. He would carry on his father's legacy in a far different way than anyone could have predicted. Even a decade ago, Tony would have never thought about his legacy. Back then it was about wealth, fame- about filling the void with drugs, sex, alcohol, _stuff_. 

It had taken Tony years to realize that what had happened to him in the Middle East, where he had been held captive in Afghanistan, had shattered his life completely into pieces that would never be picked up or put back in place. For too long he'd made the mistake of trying to do just that. What else does one do when their life is in shambles? They pick up what's left and try to rebuild.

But Tony could never be the person he had been before that fateful day when everything had gone horribly wrong after a weapons demonstration. It had been a mistake for him to even try. There was no way to erase the damage that had been done to him mind body and soul. Sure, he thought perhaps medical technology had come far enough to remove the shrapnel in his chest but as far as he was concerned the arc reactor was now a part of him completely. Unless there was immediate danger to his life he would keep it.

Even if he did there were the scars. Sure, there were scars on his chest, his back, his hands that would remind him eternally of what he'd suffered through but it was the emotional ones that had nearly ruined him. Trauma would not and could not be ignored. Not by Tony Stark and not by anyone. That was, after all, what he had done when faced with trauma. Sure, he had been forced to deal with bits and pieces here or there: the betrayal of someone who had practically been a father to him, the heart breaking failure of a relationship with Pepper Potts, becoming a super hero in a poor attempt to right the insurmountable wrongs that Obadiah Stane had left in his wake.

But Tony had never felt like a super hero. He bragged about being Iron Man, about the extent of his technology, his mental and physical prowess, his ever increasing skill. However the truth was that Tony had never felt super human. In fact, ever since that moment in Afghanistan when all hell had broken loose and he'd stared face to face with a weapon that bore his last name, he had felt completely and hopelessly _human_. Before that Tony had been invincible. How did one cope with losing their immortality? 

Even after he'd perfected his suits, built Mark after Mark, Tony deep down had been consumed by anger and fright. For that was what had truly birthed even his greatest of creations: _fear_. Fear that he his newly rebuilt life would shatter again into pieces and they would be so far beyond repair that even a mind as great as his couldn't put them back together. Fear of the pain that he'd felt in Afghanistan when he'd woken up mid-surgery with a gaping hole in his chest.

No one, including Tony, ever spoke of the pain but to this day he still had nightmares. It wasn't like he'd been given pain killers or anesthetic when Yinsen had dug into his chest, carved a hole in his body and placed a powerful magnet attached to a car battery to keep shrapnel from traveling into his heart. No, the pain had been so immense Tony still wasn't sure how he'd survived. The scars around the reactor were still very much present and sometimes they still caused him pain. While he had long since grown used to the reactor itself there had been a very long while where the pain of it against the organic flesh of his being had been so terrible he'd longed to rip it out.

Now that constant pain and the past suffering had become a part of his very being. There were pieces of him that had been so destroyed they were like grains of sand in the desert. Those parts could never be replaced, never be rebuilt.

In order for Tony to finally move on, for him to truly recover from that trauma and even the trauma of what had happened to him in Manhattan he had to learn to cope with the initial instance that had started it all. So much _good_ had come from that trauma that he had thought he was coping. Stark Industries was changing the world for the better at last and other companies were following in his footsteps. More violence wouldn't ever stop existing violence, Tony knew that. It didn't make him a pacifist, he still believed the strongest defense was a good offense. However, he knew that the weapons that his company had once produced, while they had protected the lives of soldiers, had done nothing of note. There were thousands of other arms dealers just like Stark Industries who would happily take his place.

With his wealth and intelligence Tony could do so much more than harm. As Iron Man Tony could protect people from trauma like the one he suffered. While he would never admit it to anyone, not even Scarlett or Rhodey, he was still suffering. There was a good chance he'd be suffering and struggling with this seemingly insurmountable fear for the rest of his damned life.

Today Tony was okay with that. He couldn't rebuild something that no longer existed. Tony Stark was no longer the man he once was. When he finally accepted that the true healing would begin. Scarlett had forced him to face the demons that weighed him down, had told him he wasn't alone and for the first time in years Tony realized he really _wasn't_ alone. Pepper was there for him. Happy was there for him. Rhodey was there for him. Hell, sometimes even the annoyance of S.H.I.E.L.D. had been there for him.

Scarlett had not been the first person to reach their hand out to Tony Stark to pick him up from his knees and teach him to walk again. She was, however, the first person to see through the mask of stubbornness and straight to the root of the problem. Scarlett had become the metaphorical light in the darkness that Tony had allowed to swallow him whole. This had kept him up the entire night before wondering if that was perhaps the root of the attraction to her that he'd felt from the moment he'd laid eyes on her.

It wasn't until he had decided that no matter when they'd met, what time, what situation, what place, Scarlett would still be that light for him even if he was too blind to see it that he had realized it wasn't the root of the attraction at all. Their connection, whatever it was, was unshakeable and some things simply _were_ meant to be whether or not Tony believed in fate. Whatever he called this connection or had decided it was Tony knew that his life was delicately intertwined with Scarlett's, with Refuge. It could have just been wishful thinking, of course. Either way, it was somehow comforting to know that no matter what hand life had dealt them they would wind up finding each other.

Tony felt _full_ for the first time in his life when she was around and simultaneously empty without the ability to truly express this connection. Sure, when he finally managed to tell her it would sound ridiculous. When he managed to find a way to articulate this deep, complex series of feelings it would baffle the both of them. That didn't matter. Tony didn't mind sounding idiotic sometimes, mostly because he knew that of all the things he actually _was_ stupid just wasn't on the list.

Dark windows glared down at him and Tony suddenly wondered why he'd made the building so damn tall in the first place. Yeah, it had been to show off back when he'd designed it but now it felt menacing. It had been so long since Tony had stepped foot in any Stark Industries building that he was oddly scared. He stood on the hillside staring at the metaphorical wasteland where a dragon had once laid waste.

Except there was no physical threat. Tony's dragon was just screwing with his emotions. Bravely, well at the time it felt brave, Tony walked up to the front doors and waited for the light to come on next to the door where Jarvis would customarily greet him and scan him for entry. But nothing happened.

"Interesting." Tony shrugged off the error and instead manually punched in his entry code and waited for verification. It took a few seconds longer for the computer to process his code and for a very brief second Tony wondered if Pepper had overrode his clearance when she had been angry with him. One by one the lights on the side of the door turned blue and he was granted entry. The glass doors reflected the date, time, weather, and a greeting.

"Welcome, Mr. Stark." Jarvis' comforting and familiar voice came from either side of the doors as they swung open.

"Lights, Jarvis."

There was no response.

"Jarvis?" Tony spun in place as if to search for the shapeless entity but still received no reply. Shrugging again Tony walked toward the circular security desk at the far end of the room and turned the lights on in the hallways and offices. Then he walked through the eerily quiet halls, his footsteps echoing in his mind. At first the sound was strange, the sights were stranger. Then they became comforting, familiar, and reassuring. Tony walked with confidence to his old office.

It was clean, pristine, as though he'd never spent any time away from it. Pepper must not have been using _his_ office in his absence the way that he'd instructed her to. That was oddly endearing. For a short period of time Tony had been convinced that Pepper was trying to keep him from returning to his old job. That was proving to be mostly his anxiety and paranoia talking. She'd kept his office clean and ready for him so whenever he was ready to take the plunge it would be ready for him too.

Tony took a seat behind the curved glass desk at the far end of the office and reclined in the comfortable chair. It creaked beneath his weight, likely from disuse.

"Now, why aren't you working?" Tony turned on his computer and tapped at the screen and the desk around it. Leaning back in his seat again he considered curiously what Jarvis' absence could mean. Pepper wouldn't allow his systems to go without maintenance for that long, would she? Even just a month would set things severely out of date. Tony prided himself in having the sleekest and most efficient technology around.

If none of what he stood for was being maintained then what the hell did he pay all those computer technicians for? Once within his building's systems he found where Jarvis had been installed and saw that he had long ago been disabled. Maybe Pepper had been tired of hearing his voice or something. Tony had no idea what the hell he'd do _without_ Jarvis. He honestly couldn’t fathom ever wishing to disable him.

When Tony enabled Jarvis' system it failed.

"Well, that's great." Tony sighed and then propped his phone nearby and slid a few files around in front of him with ease with his left hand and typed on the keyboard on the glass desk. Hey Jarvis, can you fix this mess?" The screen of the phone lit up.

"One moment, sir." A hologram appeared from the screen of the phone and spun in front of Tony in thought and then throbbed and turned red. "I require more concrete access than is available. There is something blocking me."

"How's that possible, Jarvis? It's my system, I can't be blocked."

"I cannot possibly know the answer to that, Mr. Stark."

"That was more of a rhetorical thing, Jarvis."

"My apologies, Mr. Stark. You know how your rhetoric often escapes me."

"To be honest I thought you were getting pretty good at recognizing it." Tony tapped away at the keyboard again. "Well, we'll be spending quite a bit of our time here in the next few weeks I guess. I can't believe how bad it is. I mean, things are as I left them but uh… they're exactly how I left them."

"Well, that is rather unfortunate."

"Tell me about it. Can you get into the system here at all, Jarvis?"

"Offer me a tangible link and I'll see what I can do."

Tony dug through the drawers of his desk and found a USB cable and plugged his phone into the a port beneath the desk. Afterward, with Jarvis' assistance, Tony built up his defenses on his network to properly hide himself and then began his anonymous search for MedCo and everything he could find in relation to Scarlett, Refuge, and S.H.I.E.L.D.

An hour passed with no luck. Each time Tony thought he'd found something the data would mysteriously disappear or he would have to bypass someone's poor attempt to put a virus in his computer. That, of course, wasn't going to happen. Tony spent much more time in the seedier parts of the internet than he would ever dare admit to anyone who asked. Yet every avenue he searched, every trick he knew ended in failure.

"If you don't mind my asking, sir, why are we doing this here at the office instead of at home?"

"The servers are better here, Jarvis. My connection is better here. Or at least it all used to be like that." Tony tapped his fingers on the desk. "And it's easier to explain why my computers here are breaking past secure firewalls than it would be if I did it from home and the CIA showed up at my door."

"Ah yes, the age old avoiding the authorities excuse."

"Don't get sassy with me."

"My apologies."

"Let's try something else. They obviously have people protecting their digital fingerprint." Tony cracked his knuckles and spun in his chair before adjusting and sitting at the end of it and tapping away again at the keyboard. If he couldn't directly find MedCo to get the information he was looking for perhaps he could come about it a different way. Someone he already knew how to manipulate might have something of note.

After all, Scarlett _was_ involved with S.H.I.E.L.D. in some capacity. The appearance of bow and arrow guy had kind of solidified it. What was his name again? Didn't matter. That would be as good a place to start as any. Whatever information S.H.I.E.L.D. had on MedCo would be more than the nothing Tony currently had. Maybe they even had a better way of approaching finding them online. Technically Tony was starting at square one. He could use the leg up.

Tony had long ago hacked into the S.H.I.E.L.D. mainframe. They'd tried, as a whole, to stop him on several occasions but at some point Tony figured they were aware that he was going to keep trying and succeeding so they'd decided to focus their efforts elsewhere. If they had anything _big_ to hide Tony likely wouldn't find it with any ease but information on MedCo didn't fall under that category. Tony knew S.H.I.E.L.D. wasn't the benevolent department of super heroes they appeared to be from the outside looking in but he couldn't fight every battle, not that night at least.

Maybe after he was back on his feet, maybe after he had helped Scarlett get back on hers too. They could fight whatever threats lay ahead together. It was comforting, for the first time in a long time, not to be alone.

The amount of information S.H.I.E.L.D. had gathered on MedCo was overwhelming. What met Tony was a huge spider web of connections that had been developed and followed through the years. Tony reclined in his chair as he watched the information unfold in front of him. Hovering through the air he could see the web growing endlessly over his desk and all around him. Rubbing his fingers against his temples he tilted his head to the side curiously and wondered how the hell he would begin. If MedCo had this lengthy a history and Scarlett was somewhere within all of it how would he pinpoint where the two intersected?

Maybe start with a date of some significance. When had Refuge been founded? Tony knew all about Refuge at this point. It was as good a place to start as any and with the wealth of information ahead of him Tony would be overwhelmed no matter where he began.

"I don't suppose anyone delivers coffee at this hour, do they?" Tony joked.

"Would you truly want someone to show up with a delivery during your illicit affairs, Mr. Stark?"

"Wouldn't be the first time." Tony smirked but his smile faded as he caught something in the corner of his eye while browsing through files. "Wait a minute." Tony whispered and scrolled back through the files before he touched a folder labeled Stark Industries. Inside there were a series of photographs. Even from the thumbnails Tony recognized what they were.

Weapons.

A whole damn stockpile of weaponry.

_Stark Industries Weaponry._

Weapons that he had slowly faded out of manufacturing in the years past. Yes, there were parts of his company that were still working on closing contracts. He couldn't stop producing weapons cold turkey, not when he had current contracts with the US Military. Still, the amount of his company that was still producing these weapons was minimal. Tony searched for the report that would relate to the photo only to find another folder with a dozen more photos.

Then worse than that, Tony found a database of weapons.

Weapons that had been recovered from MedCo and their affiliates either from abandoned warehouses or from scenes of horrific violence.

Tony's weapons had been at the key of it.

These weapons were not all from when Obadiah Stane had been running the company with both of his hands in the proverbial sewers. There were photos dated as little as a few weeks prior. Where the hell were these terrorists buying his weapons from? Weapons that his company barely produced anymore? Once Tony had come to terms with the betrayal of his father's partner he had gone through the company with a fine tooth comb and had done away with anything that had even appeared suspicious. Hell, he'd even turned over all the leads he had to the proper authorities.

Tony had even flown halfway across the world in a suit of armor and blew some of these terrorist cells out of existence single handedly in his anger. Going through this weapons database it did appear as though there had been a period of years where his weapons had disappeared from rotation but in the last year the influx had been innumerable. What could that mean?

"It wasn't just Stane." Tony whispered, leaning back in his chair. A chill ran down his spine and left him cold and uncomfortable. Fear gripped his chest and he wondered just how many moles had been lying in wait in his company, hoping he would let his guard down again. Once he'd gone into hiding they'd seized the opportunity. Naturally he had never shared any fears of corruption with Pepper so how could she have possibly known?

Stark Industries had become a ticking time bomb in his absence. He'd never thought that Obadiah had others in his pocket and now he suddenly felt incredibly innocent for that. Sure, he'd screened his employees and looked for suspicious activity but Obadiah had been skilled at covering his tracks so how was he supposed to find any trail of what had been left behind? Besides, he'd been a drunken mess back then and had simply gone through the motions.

How long had Pepper been manipulated by those who worked beneath her generous gaze? She likely had no idea that their weapons were being shipped out to terrorist organizations. Immediately he dismissed the idea of her being involved in any capacity. Pepper hated violence of any kind, including him being Iron Man. Even when Tony made tasteless jokes, Pepper scowled in disapproval.

Guilt washed through him. When Pepper found out what had happened right under her nose she would feel terrible. He could have put a stop to this long ago if he had just crawled out of the hole he'd buried himself in.

Then something struck him so hard that he felt instantly sick to his stomach and had to turn away from the screen. If he had only come into his office sooner and noticed the flux in weapons manufacturing and shipments to places he had no connection would there be any chance Scarlet would have been saved some grief? For all he knew he could partially be responsible for all she was going through even though he was only aware of a very brief extent of what it could possibly be.

Tony copied S.H.I.E.L.D. files to his phone and then closed the connection and leaned again in his chair. Even Jarvis had nothing to say about any of this new information. Any air of jest had faded along with his discovery. Stark Industries would need yet another purge and this time he would make sure that no one would manipulate him or his corporation with their greed ever again.

Why hadn't S.H.I.E.L.D. come to him? They had too many secrets and thinking of the reasons they wouldn't want to involve Tony in their investigation of MedCo made his head spin. Instead, Tony chose to search within. If there was someone manipulating his company they would have left some kind of trail. Someone had to authorize shipments, alter files, paperwork, to make everything appear legitimate.

What if Pepper hadn't disabled Jarvis? Maybe someone else had done so just to keep Jarvis from monitoring their communications or taking note of any suspicious activity? He was sure that if these people could manipulate Jarvis into overlooking it themselves then Jarvis would have showed some signs of it. The idea of anyone else having control over Jarvis was terrifying. That was just what he needed to worry about right now. Things would be changing drastically at Stark Industries in the months to come, that was for sure.

Sure enough as he continued through Stark Industries computer files he saw that Pepper had changed her pass code over a dozen times in the last few months because someone else had gotten their hands on it. How was that possible? How could she be so lazy about security here?

The further he dug the worse it became. It wasn't just weapons being shipped off but other projects Stark Industries had been working on. Secret plans, secret products, secret advancements that weren't ready to meet the light of day. Tony would be putting a stop to this at once.

Within the bowels of Stark Industries files Tony discovered a series of communications between someone using Pepper's identity and someone who had received several shipments of weaponry in the months past. They had to be dealing with MedCo, considering what Tony had discovered in S.H.I.E.L.D. files. Rage burned through Tony's entire being as he searched for any sign of Pepper having actually received any of these transmissions.

She hadn't. These messages were being rerouted within company servers to avoid being traced. That night, Tony would be crashing the servers but not before he caught someone with their pants down and made them suffer for what they'd done with his attempts at benevolence. They had manipulated his desperation, his sorrow and had used it for their ill conceived machinations.

Without fully thinking through the ramifications of his plan Tony created a dummy account online, similar to the ones he'd found in the communication of whoever was manipulating his company. Then he planted a message in need of weapons. If he could trap whoever it was maybe he could get some information out of them before turning them over to S.H.I.E.L.D. God, the mess that was going to have to be dealt with the next day would be monumental.

A response was received almost immediately. The contact gave him an asking price and awaited reply. Tony bargained with a little to try and keep up appearances. Once an agreement was made Tony asked where to meet up for delivery. It took awhile for this last response to come in and waiting nearly killed Tony. He never did have much patience. Constantly he checked his phone to see if Scarlett had messaged him but there was nothing. With any luck she was either feeling better or getting some well deserved rest. He sent her a message telling her hoped as much.

No response. Not from Scarlett at least.

However, the communication from the faux Pepper Potts gave him an address of an old Stark Industries warehouse about fifty miles east of his current location. Tony waited, hesitated, and then responded that he would be there in an hour to complete the transaction.

"Should I contact someone at S.H.I.E.L.D. Mr. Stark?" Jarvis spoke when Tony didn't move from his seat.

"Not yet."

"You can't be considering going to meet this man on your own."

"You forget that I'm Iron Man."

"And you forget that these are terrorist with a long web of connections and death in their wake."

Tony's confident smirk faded at once.

"I know exactly what they are, Jarvis. But I don't think S.H.I.E.L.D. is going to approve of what I plan on doing."

"If you will not contact the proper authorities would you perhaps consider contacting James Rhodes then? He could be of some use and maybe someone with a head more level than yours would be of some aid right now."

"I don't want Rhodey to get into trouble."

"I think that is the precise reason that he should be helping you."

"Either help or shut up, Jarvis." Tony wouldn't change his mind. He would tell S.H.I.E.L.D., he would tell Rhodey, but not until after he'd gotten some revenge. A few taps on his phone and Tony communicated with the Mark XLII and set it so it would be on standby if he wound up requiring its assistance. Tony needed leverage and information against MedCo. As of right now he had next to nothing to help him in his quest to save Scarlett. Granted, the very little he had to go on was a bunch of assumptions and innuendos.

He wasn't going to dip his toes into this chaos. Tony was going to dive headfirst and while that was very dangerous and perhaps a little foolish he didn't much care. Tony wanted something to hold over MedCo so that if he had to bargain for anything involving Scarlett's life then he would have it. She hadn't asked him to help her but she didn't need to. When this man or woman showed up to try and sell him his own weapons he was going to get information out of them one way or another.

Whether or not Scarlett wanted him to be, Tony was involved. He understood why she had kept her distance at least to some extent. He'd once also struggled with the idea of needing help, of not having to suffer alone. Now he thought it was more than high time for her to follow her own advice!

The drive through the California desert was a blur; a blur of loud music drowned out by complex thought. Each time he played out what would come in his mind's eye it ended in violence. Tony had a surprising amount of pent up anger but he'd had no idea where to direct it for the longest time. Now he did. He didn't know how involved Scarlett was with any of these people or even if she had been involved with them at all. For all Tony knew, Scarlett was the cause of her own misery.

All he knew was the woman who had saved him, who he'd grown so very close to. He knew that woman didn't deserve the fate she'd been dealt. If he could do anything within his power to put an end to her misery he would without a thought.

Once in the far end of the parking lot near the warehouse Tony found it abandoned and dark. Hell, it was even a little rundown. Doubt crept through his mind as he sat in his luxury car and contemplated his next move. What were the odds that whoever he had communicated with had known it was him and not someone actually hoping to buy weapons? Was someone playing him as well as he was hoping to play them? Tony sent another communication verifying the location of the meet up, explaining that he thinks there's a possibility of being followed.

His phone buzzed immediately afterward, to his surprise. It was ringing and according to the screen it was Dianne Hendricks. Tony answered at once and didn't even get a chance to greet her before she spoke.

"Tony? Tony Stark, is that you?"

"Yes, Mrs. Hendricks you're calling the right number." Tony began hesitantly. "Is everything okay?" Even just from her greeting Tony could tell she was rattled. Maybe she was having second thoughts about their teaming up. After all, they had both pretty much agreed to break the law together.

"Have you discovered anything of note yet?" She spoke in an urgent whisper.

"Yes, but I'm waiting for it to pan out before I jump to any conclusions." Tony cleared his throat. "What about you? Have you found anything?"

"I'm finally in Boston. My flight was a bit delayed but… I've decided that I'm going to break into the Refuge building like you suggested. I don't think I can hack through Miss Damien's firewall on my own. The only way I'm going to get direct access to her computer is by going inside. With this… this little thing you gave me I should be able to get through security, right?"

"Yes, don't worry. Jarvis will help you." Tony had absolutely no doubt that Scarlett's defenses were high but he very much doubted he didn't have the skills to break through them. "When you get there let me know what you find, okay?"

"Tony?"

"Yeah?"

"Be safe, okay? I have a very bad feeling about all of this." Dianne wasn't sure why but the words felt odd coming from her lips, like they didn't quite belong to her. Still, she felt very compelled to say them.

"You too, Miss Hendricks." Tony smiled and then ended the call and stepped out of his car. He'd received communication during the call assuring him that the place was safe for a drop and that if he wanted the weapons then that would be where they met up. Tony checked on the location of the Mark XLII and saw it was only about a half an hour behind him. If he got into any trouble he had back up. Then he would send communication to Rhodey via the WarMachine. The US military may not have thought so but Tony could have hijacked the machine any time he wanted to.

Once inside the warehouse Tony found it dark and empty just as he expected. A large warehouse with rows upon rows of crates and shelving lined up every which way. It looked abandoned, like no one had maintained it properly in months. This was not the way Tony Stark ran his company. Guilt tore apart his insides again. His employees had been working in these conditions for far too long now. He shrugged it off. Tony couldn't carry the weight of that on his shoulders, not right now. The burden was already far too heavy.

Walking through a few rows of storage containers, Tony stared up at the catwalk on the second floor that lined the far edge of the open space. There were halls branching off to different shipping and packing areas of the building but Tony wasn't going to bother. This was a dead end. Someone from MedCo was screwing with him. When he got back to his place he would report his findings to S.H.I.E.L.D. and begin the overhaul of his company. Tony wouldn't rest until he was sure that there were no more evil assholes in Stark Industries, manipulating his good intentions from the inside out.

As he turned to make his way back to the large double doors leading to the parking lot they slammed closed. Above him lights flickered to life one set at a time from just overhead to the far end of the warehouse. Tony turned back to the doors in alarm to be met with a pair of men armed with automatic weapons and wearing gas masks.

"Mr. Stark. I don't believe we've formally met."

Tony spun in search of the Russian accent and in doing so caught sight of several other armed men spreading throughout the warehouse to cover the other exits. The strange voice had come from the second floor along the catwalk at the far end of the warehouse. Stocky, with an angry brow and a scowl on his face the man with the Russian accent stared at him. Worse than all of what met him, this stranger was covered in bloodied scrapes. Someone had very much hurt him and recently at that.

Despite his overall menacing appearance this man wore a smile. Oddly, it was haunting.

"Allow me to introduce myself. I am Mikhail. The only remaining founder of MedCo… or at least that's what you've been calling it. Always thought it was a silly name. Allow me to clarify, I am the only _coherent_ remaining founder."

"I could have lived without the introduction to be honest." Tony spoke confidently and took a step toward where Mikhail stood. The armed men shifted behind him, holding their guns at the ready. Tony held his hands up defensively and watched as Mikhail waved toward his men with a chuckle. They lowered their guns.

"I know what you were hoping for this evening."

"Do you?"

"Of course I do. We knew that you would find us eventually, Mr. Stark. Did you think your systems were so uncompromised we would not see you worming around within them? Searching for us as we monitored you?"

Tony's blood ran cold. Yeah, in the back of his mind he'd thought perhaps that they'd taken over his systems but he had also been so confident in the machinery he'd built and in his own abilities that he had shrugged the very idea off.

"The lesson you learn tonight will be a difficult one." Mikhail's cold laughter echoed throughout the empty space. "Obadiah Stane knew very well what the consequences for backing out of our arrangement would be. There is no backing out, Mr. Stark. Only removing obstacles in our way. You have something we need. Do you think we're going to beg you for it?"

"You do seem more like the stealing type. Your deal was with Stane, not with me. Regrettably, Stane is no longer with us."

"By your hand. You are responsible for his debt, Mr. Stark."

"I don't know if anyone's told you this but I am the least in debt guy on the planet." Tony smirked but he was very carefully and quietly taking in his surroundings and trying to memorize potential places to take cover and escape. There were too many guards for him to disarm without getting shot in the damn head. If he could stall for time while his suit was in transit he had no doubt he could make quick work of them. Unfortunately Tony hadn't actually fought anything that could fight back since the disaster in Manhattan. Beating a punching bag was a much different experience.

Oddly enough the prospect of being in real danger was both terrifying and thrilling.

"Threats don't do much for me. I uh, I'm not much into bargaining outside of the bedroom and no offense or anything but you're really not my type. I'll offer you a consolation prize though. How about we cut a deal before you and your foot soldiers meet a bad end. Turn yourself in and I won't kill you."

"Has no one ever taught you not to bargain unless you have something worth bargaining for?" Mikhail laughed and shook his head. "You are not leaving alive." With a nod of his head several of the guards cautiously approached Tony.

"Fine, fine. You're right! I don't have much ground to stand on right now. What if we make a deal in exchange for something you _do_ want? I doubt you'll want to kill me. I'm a pretty likable guy. People are going to miss me."

"What is it you could possibly want from us that you would be willing to make a deal with the devil?"

"That's awfully cocky for a dude in a sling, but okay." Tony pointed toward one of the guards coming toward him. "Stop, just stop. This is not a good look for any of you. All of this black is really bringing me down. Get it away from me. Take a few steps back or this conversation is over."

The guard looked toward Mikhail for confirmation and received a nod. Each guard took a few steps back.

"So, what is it that the man with everything wants?"

"Scarlett." Tony's cocky smile faded away. "I want her to be okay."

"Interesting." Mikhail smiled and rubbed his good hand against his jaw and then chuckled quietly beneath his breath. "You are dripping with desperation, Mr. Stark."

"I'm usually the guy who says that but… today you're right. I'd trade anything."

"That is awfully noble of you. There is nothing anyone can do to help you now. It's far too late for her. She has long since dug her own shallow grave. By the time you understand anything it will be far too late for anyone to save her."

"What's that supposed to mean? I mean, cryptic, not helpful at all…" Tony confidently walked past one of the guards when Mikhail turned away. "By the time I understand? I'd understand just fine if someone told me. You are awfully uninformed about what kind of a guy I am for someone who has been breaking into my computers. I mean, not to toot my own horn but I'm pretty smart."

"Farewell, Tony Stark." Mikhail shook his head and stopped walking but didn't look back. "I have nothing that you want."

"At the very least you could tell me what the hell is happening! You can tell me what's wrong!" Mikhail ignored Tony's questions. Tony glanced at his phone. The Mark XLII would be here at any moment ready to defend him at his every whim but man did he wish he could have gotten _anything_ useful out of this endeavor. With any luck Dianne Hendricks would be doing much better than he was in the information department. "I'm only trying to understand!"

As Mikhai walked away he waved his hand through the air and the guards slowly moved toward Tony slowly, guns aimed low.

"I guess there's no talking to any of you, is there?" Tony sighed and took a deep breath. "Well, here we go then." Much to the surprise of the men around him Tony held his arms out in front of him and waited. When they didn't approach him and instead just stared he shrugged. "I am unarmed and you guys are loaded. Was no one listening when I said I wasn't stupid?"

Tony counted the seconds down in his head thought it was a nervous counting so he couldn't be sure how accurate it was. One of the men nodded and Tony checked behind him quickly before twisting the unlucky man's wrist and punching him hard in the jaw before pulling his back to his chest and grabbing his gun in one swift motion. Tony pointed the gun toward those around him and backed up toward the wall where there were no guards.

"Nobody move or I'll blow this guy's…" Tony stumbled as one of the man fired straight at the chest of the man he held as his human shield. The blow was absorbed by the guard's body armor but still sent a jolt of fear straight through Tony. He immediately ducked out of the way and threw the guard away from him. Aiming low, Tony shot at the feet of his attackers before leaping out of view.

Another man came at him and punched him hard in the face. Tony could already feel the wound swelling next to his eye. Tony held up his arm to deflect another punch and threw one back. The guard pulled a knife and lunged at Tony who felt the sleeve of his shirt tear but didn’t feel the pain of the blade. Instead he swiftly grabbed the guard's wrist, twisted and spun him around and then knocked the knife clattering to the ground.

"Rusty, but doing okay…" Tony whispered beneath his breath as he grabbed the knife and shoved it in his belt. "Any second now, Jarvis…"

Keeping low, Tony narrowly dodged a bullet as a gunshot rang through the warehouse. It clattered dangerously throughout the warehouse and shattered a lamp overhead, sending a spray of glass and electricity every which way. Ducking behind a series of crates, Tony waited until he heard footsteps and then clothes lined the guard who came searching for him. The he yelped as he was kicked to the ground.

Tony wrestled the gun out of the hands of the guard and then rolled back and out of the way as another guard shot at him and took running between the crates. Adrenaline pumping through his chest Tony checked his phone to see the status of his suit but didn't get the chance to read the numbers. A guard leapt at him and pushed him hard against the crates, knocking some over next to him.

Tony absorbed the blow to his stomach and then punched his assailant hard in the face before ducking low and sweeping his legs right from underneath him. That was more like it! Tony took off at a run and then dove haphazardly to the side as someone fired their weapon toward him. Rolling onto his back he stopped at once as one of the guards loomed over him, gun aimed right toward his chest.

Holding his hands up defensively, Tony caught his breath.

"All right, you win." Tony nodded his head and tossed the knife he'd grabbed out of his hands. "I'm all yours."

With a horrible smash something punched through the glass windows of the warehouse and then soared straight toward Tony like a bat out of hell. In a flash the gloves of the Mark XLII came straight toward him and wrapped carefully around his fingers, his palm, his wrists until they crawled up his forearm, unfolding gracefully into the metallic gloves he'd grown so used to. Just as they did the guard fired his weapon. Tony deflected the shot with his arm just as the armor spread over his forearm. Bruised and beaten, Tony left to his feet as the man aimed his gun toward him again but began to back away in fear.

Clang! The armor of the Mark XLII crashed every which way, punching holes through the building as it did. Red and gold pieces unfolded in front of him and Tony stepped straight into the boots before leaping high into the air with the thrusters and coming slamming down, fist first into the man with the gun. The weapon clattered to the ground nearby harmlessly.

Turning quickly to his right Tony fired the repulsors in his gloves and another guard flew backwards into the crates. As another turned the corner Tony leapt into the air and spun, smashing the guard hard in the face before grabbing him and using the thrust of his suit to send him sliding across the concrete floor.

Hearing the familiar alerts of the rest of his armor, Tony stood upright and held his arms out on either side of him. Piece after piece of armor hugged his form, opening up and spreading into larger and larger pieces before they surrounded him entirely, snapping perfectly into place. As the remainder of the armor encompassed his shoulders Tony soared into the air and braced himself for the final piece as it attached to the back of the suit and then expanded and covered his face with a hefty metallic clank!

Flipping through the air he came down with a smash against the concrete on one knee, fish shattering the ground beneath him and sending a shockwave every which way. As he scanned his surroundings for a body count through his helmet, gun fire clattered against the armor but Tony heard it more than he felt it.

"Yep, still bulletproof." Tony caught sight of six targets in front of him then several more popped up on either side of him. MedCo had set up an actual ambush for him. Mikhail had very much meant to kill him that night. "Jarvis, you got a lock on 'em?"

"Yes, sir."

With a soft hiss metallic panels emerged from the shoulders of the armor and small missiles flew through the air, stuck to their targets and then sent an electric jolt so strong it would incapacitate each guard with ease. The air was filled with the smell of burning flesh.

"Was that timing heroic enough for you, Mr. Stark?"

"A little too close for comfort this time, Jarvis."

"Damage done to your body seems rather superficial. I'd say we did perfectly well."

"Doesn't make bullets any less terrifying without this armor." Tony stood again and blasted his repulsors straight at one of the guards coming toward him.

"I'm afraid to report they are regrouping, sir."

"I've got a good amount of pent up aggression to take out anyway." Tony clenched his fists and the backs of his gloves two blue lights glowed and with a quick twist of his wrists a beam of energy blasted straight in front of him like swords. Spinning through the air he knocked back those who came for him, at least half a dozen of them! With the use of Jarvis' advanced guiding system, Tony ducked and spun, stabbed and slashed, held up his arm and watched as the glove fanned out into a small shield then thrust the laser blade straight at one of the guards. Out of breath Tony watched and waited for more guards, waited for more back up but instead heard a low and menacing rumble somewhere in the distance, followed by shaking beneath his feet. "What the hell is that, Jarvis?"

"I'm uncertain." Calculations ran across the screen to Tony's right and while he recognized them Jarvis spoke anyway. "Judging by the sound waves and reverberations we felt I'd guess there was an explosion nearby."

"An explosion? Where? In here?" Tony didn't get a chance to speak before the entire Mark XLII was flung into the air by a blast of fire and debris. Crates fell left and right and the entire building groaned all around them. Another explosion to Tony's left sent him rolling straight into a stack of crates and they clattered dangerously on top of him, burying him beneath them. With a blast of his repulsors Tony knocked the crates out of his way and then leapt into the air. "Yeah, definitely here."

"I'd say so."

"Time to bail, Jarvis." Tony guided the Mark XLII into the air and with the assistance of Jarvis rocked beneath debris, swerved past further explosions and gunfire and then blew a hole straight through the already crumbling roof before soaring into the night sky. Below him what remained of the Stark Industries warehouse exploded in a brilliant spray of blue and red. From what he could read from Jarvis' sensors there were no living remaining within the building.

Tony wouldn't linger.

In fact, he knew exactly where he would go next.


	50. Tick Tock

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short, but by design! Sorry I didn't post last week, I was in the car until like 10 and I was pooped! Figured I'd wait until this week after the weekend got away from me! Thanks for the patience. Next week is short too- but they have quick points in these chapters. ALMOST to smut, I promise, Chapter 52 lol

The heart monitor had become a comforting mantra in the back of Clint Barton's mind over the last forty eight hours. He'd been in and out of consciousness for the last eight, listening for familiar sounds. For awhile Natasha had been there to keep him company but they hadn't actually spoken. Someone had removed his breathing tube once it had been made clear he no longer needed it which he was more than thankful for. It had gagged him more than once.

Clint had never been so thankful for modern medicine in all his days. He barely felt the pain in his side, in his stomach. He knew the wounds were still there, he had no illusions of them being healed up already but everything was blissfully numb and allowed him to find rest. Now, however, Clint was _hungry_. He probably wasn't allowed to have the amount of pizza he really wished he could have, but he should at least eat something. Even if that something was sad hospital pudding.

There was a sound outside his door and he slowly opened his eyes. Nothing. Just darkness and shadows passing through the hallway. Maybe it was a nurse peeking in on him. Damn, if they had been, they hadn't seen him awake and he couldn't ask for some food. Where was that damn buzzer again? Glancing left and right Clint searched for the button that would summon a nurse but that proved to be far more effort than his ailing body was ready for.

Though the medicine helped with the amount of pain that he was sure he would suffer later it was also making him drowsy and left him feeling stiff. Food could wait, the nurses could wait. Clint closed his eyes again and allowed the sweet surrender of sleep to take him. Still, he remained at least half conscious. Couldn't help it. Old habits would die hard, especially after being undercover for so long.

When he'd snuck away to meet with Natasha to report the terrorist attack in Manhattan he had been paranoid when he'd gone back under. That S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent, the one who had begged him not to go back under and had warned him with her bad feelings had really saved his life. He'd have to thank her _and_ Scarlett when he was feeling better. Without them, he would have been plain old dead. When he'd been taken he had been sure that the only way out was in a body bag. Every breath he now took he was eternally grateful for.

It had only been a few days before Clint had known his cover was completely blown. Still, he didn't want the whole time spent infiltrating MedCo's security to be for naught. He'd taken a calculated risk to steal files, to break into records in offices he had avoided going into to keep his cover and when he had finally managed to get some valuable information he'd been caught with his hand in the proverbial cookie jar.

Clint was good at pretending he was a fool. Sometimes he said stupid things simply because he wasn't thinking. Just because he liked bad jokes didn't make him stupid, though, that's for sure. Thankfully in the situation of prisoner, of being beaten and harmed in exchange for information playing the fool had very much played to his advantage. Time and time again he'd fed MedCo false information, had even nearly convinced them that he worked for the CIA and not for S.H.I.E.L.D. at all.

Unfortunately they'd found him out in the end but Clint had known that would happen eventually. Using him against Scarlett had wound up being the best route imaginable for him. He was sure that if they had thought he had little to no value they simply would have left him for dead. While he hadn't wanted to put anyone else in harm's way he'd heard enough stories about Scarlett from Natasha to know that she could handle her own. Part of him had hoped she would come with more backup than just herself but it was likely she had no idea what she was walking into that fateful day.

Still, in spite of it all, in spite of being as ill as he knew she was, in spite of her distrust of S.H.I.E.L.D. and the arguments that had arisen between the collective group of agents as of late, Scarlett had refused to leave without him and had risked her neck to save him. She had done so admirably and while he still had been near death when she'd found him he had very much still survived _because_ of her. Hell, he had half expected Scott to torture him right in front of Scarlett just to get her going, to make her do something drastic.

Instead, she'd been level headed, collected, poised and had gotten him well out of harm's way before any further damage could be done. Then he'd almost drowned and she had the decency to save him even though he knew she wasn't well. From what he knew, breathing was a chore for her and he was sure that the task of swimming even without his added weight was a task and a half. How far had he set her back, health wise? Still, he was grateful. 

Clint shifted from side to side, uncomfortable in his slumber. His thoughts were far too loud for him to sleep soundly. However he did finally succumb to his exhaustion at the very least.

A shadow passed in front of the hospital room again but this time it didn't disappear completely. A man, tall, lumbering and hunched over, covered by a long coat and a hat tilted low stood in the doorway, casting a menacing shadow. He checked left then right before looking back in the room. This time Clint Barton didn't stir the way he had earlier.

Erick Reno had been lucky not to be discovered on his first attempt. His breathing was haggard and in spite of his disguise, his presence very rarely went unnoticed. Once a tall, thin man with glasses and a conniving smile, Erick had since changed. The drugs had been what done it and while he couldn’t remember _why_ he was on them he very distinctly remembered his death. It had been painful and unexpected.

What had brought him to his death? Why had his partners killed him? These were questions he didn't have the answers to and no longer had the willpower to ponder for very long. Every so often he had to hold his head as these rebellious thoughts attempted escape. These moments of clarity passed quicker and quicker these days as the little that was left of his free will was replaced by his mission, by his loyalty to Mikhail.

Positive that Clint Barton was asleep the half deformed, limping form of a man in the hat and coat lumbered slowly into the room. Despite his deformities, the changes the medicine had made to his being, he was completely silent. Within his coat he reached and removed a syringe full of a sickly green liquid. Next to the bed he stopped and stood. If he killed Clint Barton here and now quietly the heart monitor attached to him would go off. The only way to stop that from happening was to disable it.

He had repeatedly been taught how to do just that before being sent on this mission. It had taken over an entire day to setup with the help of the guards who had shadowed him to make sure he continued to be loyal. There had been incidents that he didn't quite remember where he had been subdued, held down, and injected with something equally as toxic as what was in the syringe in his hand.

This needle however was not designed for loyalty or change, not even mutation. No. This needle was filled with poison that would kill Clint Barton within a matter of seconds. They would leave nothing to chance. Further action would be taken to make sure that the Avenger wasn't going to survive this incident. Walking around the bed, Erick fiddled with the heart monitor that read Clint's vitals. He was surprisingly stable given all he'd been through. These S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents were resilient - like roaches.

Closing his eyes he remembered the training that had been repeatedly drilled into his mind. Then without hesitation he fiddled with the buttons on the machine and disabled it entirely. Leaning over Clint Barton once again he placed the syringe closer and closer to his neck. Just as he was about to pierce flesh, Clint raised his hand, gripped at Erick's wrist and his eyes snapped open.

Erick Reno didn't even have a chance to retaliate. Clint twisted his wrist and shoved the syringe hard into Erick's neck and pressed the plunger. Erick stumbled backwards in surprise but didn't fall or remove the syringe. Instead he stared at Clint and then a smile curved over his wicked, elongated lips. When he spoke, his voice was no longer severe sounding, but rather a guttural roar of the voice he once had before _they_ had changed him.

"It doesn't matter." His laugh was smooth at first but then liquid collected in his throat as the poison took effect. "It is already too late." Erick choked on something horrible in his throat before a terrible green foam passed through his lips and dripped onto the floor. Then he collapsed against the bed and sunk slowly to the floor, dead.

Clint removed the heart monitor and pulled his IV free quickly with a wince. Testing his stamina he stood carefully on both feet and decided that he would be fine until he could get to safety somewhere else. Whatever was happening he had to move quickly. This man had once been one of the three founders of MedCo and when his betrayal had been discovered Clint had guessed he had been killed as a result.

Now he knew there were fates far worse than just death or torture. The obedient monster Erick had become was far more terrible than any fate Clint had suffered. Carefully he walked around the bed and found the clothing that Natasha had left for him and changed quickly. He winced at once as he buttoned up his pants. There was that horrid pain he remembered. Just like yesterday.

What were the odds that they had something else planned for him? Surely there were other guards, backup nearby. Clint nudged the door closed and dragged the body of Erick Reno carefully over to the far corner of the room, out of sight and out of mind. He patted over the coat in search of any radios, of any sensors that would alert anyone else of his failure but found nothing.

Inside the coat he found a silenced gun and a sheathed knife, both which Clint took with him. He stood back up carefully and slipped on the hoodie that Natasha had left for him and pulled the hood low over his face. If the doctors saw him they would drag him back into a hospital room and he had no time to waste. Pocketing the phone that Natasha had left for him, Clint braced himself for the pain that would greet him the moment the adrenaline would wear off.

He'd dealt with worse, he kept reminding himself of that. It didn't mean he looked forward to it, just that he knew he would survive.

The moments that followed were a blur. Clint snuck past the first nurse's station only to discover that there was another and these men and women were very serious about their jobs. Every stolen glance, Clint was worried he'd be recognized or worried he would be met with an agent of MedCo. But paranoia had turned out to be just that. Clint walked through the hospital and found a side entrance where patients and visitors would walk outside to have a cigarette break. He didn't want to draw any other unnecessary attention to himself if he could help it.

Carefully he meandered through the parking lot and removed the cell phone from his pocket before immediately dialing Natasha's number which he knew by heart. He had to warn someone that MedCo had something planned. While he had been working undercover for S.H.I.E.L.D. he was sure that there was someone also working undercover for MedCo in the exact opposite situation. Everyone was in danger. Someone had found out where he'd been moved to in the hospital, had managed to sneak in past security with both weapons and poison.

Just as he heard the familiar ring in his ear the world went quiet all around him. He pulled the phone away and just as he was about to turn around there was an ear splitting thud and then a blast so loud he could hear nothing but ringing. The explosion was so immense that he was thrown straight off of his feet and forward onto the asphalt. Crawling beneath one of the nearby cars Clint felt the heat of the fire and the explosion that brought the hospital to its knees and prayed that it wouldn't get any worse before he could call for help.


	51. Swan Song

Mickey fought the weight of her eyelids as she stared at the screen scrolling through files as the program Jinx had written removed any remaining encryption. It had been a miracle that they'd managed to get any information off of the tiny USB device considering all that it had been through. Shoved inside a gaping bloody wound, hidden beneath bone and then submerged for a period of time in salt water? Yeah, it was lucky that this USB was giving them anything at all. As disgusting as it was, the gore from Clint's wound had actually _protected_ the device from the salt water that would have corroded it. 

It had been hours since Mickey had formed a team at S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters in Manhattan and had set about decrypting the hundreds of files that Clint had brought with him. When they'd hit a brick wall Mickey had flown Jinx down from Boston and had set her about helping to crack through the encryption. It had thankfully been the boost that they required to crack through. Now they only had to sit and wait for progress to be made.

"Any luck?" Jinx appeared like a ninja out of thin air behind Mickey who leapt nearly a mile and then rubbed her eyes that were suddenly filled with gunk.

"Nothing yet. I mean, it's working through it but right now it's taking so long it'll be a miracle if we find anything tonight." Mickey yawned and stretched her arms above her head. "I'm glad I left Pluto at home, he'd be way too restless here."

"Yeah, though, I could use something to do." Jinx shrugged her shoulders. "Wrote the program and now you don't seem to need me." She laughed and then nodded down the hall. "Coffee? I can get coffee. I'm a good go-fer."

"You usually have some smutty novel lined up for this sort of situation, don't you?" Mickey chuckled though she was guilty of the same on most occasions.

"I…" Jinx started and then sighed before looking away. "I'm worried, that's all."

"I know." Mickey patted her friend on the shoulder and then sighed and looked back toward the screen. The last forty eight hours had been a nightmare. Jinx had grown closer to Scarlett than any of the others while she'd posed undercover as her secretary for so long. Having been torn from that role so suddenly and made aware of just how dire things had become had done a number on the usually bubbly agent.

"So, coffee?"

"Yeah, go ahead. I could go for some coffee."

"I noticed. You've got a bit of something…" Jinx comically wiped at her own mouth and then Mickey sat upright and did the same at once with a laugh.

"Watching the numbers was like a lullaby, okay? So judgy." Mickey watched Jinx disappear down the hall and then furrowed her brow. Hours ago she'd gone on and on about the bad feelings she had but the last hour she'd silenced herself and internalized it. Sure, several people had told her to cool it with the bad vibes stuff, it was making everyone nervous. Mickey was more unsettled after Jinx had stopped than when she had been constantly reminding everyone of the bad feelings she had.

Twenty minutes later Jinx was back with coffee and pulled up a seat near Mickey's desk and they were chatting back and forth over the weather, over the usual gossip but nothing quite felt right or real to either of them. They were going through the motions but everything felt slowed, odd, _strange_.

"I have such a bad feeling." Jinx grumbled finally and as the words slipped past her lips she felt relief flood through her. She'd been holding in the warning for so long that she swore it was driving her crazy. "God, I needed to say it."

"I could tell. I miss you saying it, actually. I mean, I know nothing's all right and to pretend it is just feels weird."

"Do you think anyone's going to come back from this? Clint was so hurt…"

"You warned him, Jinx, it's not your fault!" Mickey held up her hands at once to silence the darker haired woman who pouted. "Really, you have to stop beating yourself up over it. You know how they can be sometimes. Natasha pulls the same stuff… Heck, even Steve Rogers pulls that stuff and he's Captain good guy…"

"I know! I do, I know that but I can't help but think that if I had just pushed a bit harder he would have been fine! He never would have gone back undercover and then think of the grief we would have been spared! That Clint would have been spared! God, maybe Scarlett wouldn't have lapsed so much…"

"You cannot shoulder all of that, Jinx. It's not your fault. If Clint hadn't gone back under cover then we never would have gotten all of this information. I mean, what if this is the key to reversing all of the damage done? How cool would that be? Sometimes everything happens for a reason and sometimes bad things are just as necessary as the good."

"I know." Jinx sighed and shook her head. "It's this feeling. It's eating me alive. I can't help but think that the worst is yet to come." She looked to her friend and Mickey felt haunted for a moment by her different colored eyes and got the shivers.

"Maybe try not to say stuff like _that._ "

"You just told me to mention my bad feelings. Do you or do you not want to hear about them?"

"I do, you just… that freaked me out." Mickey shivered with a little nervous laugh.

"Hey, think about the good things. You're right. Maybe this stuff we're decoding will have some of the answers."

"Maybe." Mickey nodded and then looked back to the files that were slowly piecing together on the screen in front of her and then backing up consistently to S.H.I.E.L.D. servers just in case anything went wrong through the process. "Hey, hey wait… hold on." Mickey stood up and walked across the room to where there was a wall of screens, each showing different files being decrypted.

"What is it? Anything good?" Jinx scooted the rolling desk chair across the room after Mickey.

"Just give me a second, I saw something in the decrypted files…" Mickey waved her hand over a sensor on the desk in front of her and a holographic screen spread across the length of it, glowing an ethereal blue. Wiping windows left and right with a touch of her hand she maneuvered files and examined them for the formula she'd spotted before it'd disappeared while working on the next series of files.

"What do you think it is?"

"Just… let me find it before I jump to conclusions." Mickey waved her hand at Jinx who spun in her chair nervously. "Where are you? Please tell me I wasn't making up what I saw…" Mickey muttered beneath her breath, twisting files aside at an alarming rate. She was making Jinx dizzy.

"There! Stop there!" Jinx leapt from her seat and then tripped and almost lost her balance. Mickey froze in place and Jinx crept under her arm and slid a file forward and then spread it across the screen. It appeared in pieces on each screen along the wall and the two stared at it in awe as it unraveled. Part of it was still encrypted but from what they could see it was schematics for a bomb.

It wasn't the bomb itself that was what had caught their eye but what was inside the bomb was much more important. It was a series of toxins.

Some of them had been labeled as rejected and the last one that was half encrypted and half deciphered jumped out at Mickey. She selected the text and blew it up on the screen. Every head in the room turned to look at it and a hush loomed over the already quiet room. It was like someone had sucked all the air out through the vents.

"That's it." Mickey whispered and swallowed the lump in her throat and turned back to Jinx who stared at the formula and walked around the desk to get closer to what they'd decoded.

"I have a bad feeling." Jinx whispered and turned to look at Mickey, he face pale.

Mickey tapped away at the keyboard and tucked the file away and forwarded it to Jemma Simmons on the west coast in hopes the woman could confirm that this was in fact at least partially what they were dealing with. Whatever Scarlett had been infected with had been rejected by MedCo over three years ago and thrown away. Next to the formula were the words that had sucked the air out of the room.

_Failure._

What did that mean? Was the virus fatal? Maybe somewhere in these same files could be the antidote that would cleanse Scarlett's ailing body. Or maybe, for all they knew, they could find the notes on how this particular toxin had been manufactured so they could break it down and work on starting a cure of their own.

"Mickey? Mickey, look." Jinx pointed to a file just beneath the one they'd been left awestruck by. Mickey highlighted it and brought it forward and saw a series of maps and memos. There were points of interests all across the United States.

One of those points was their building in Manhattan.

"Shit, shit someone call Director Fury." Mickey shouted but then the images on the screens and holograms flickered. Then they went black. All at once the lights turned off, the air conditioners stopped working and the ground shook. Silence fell and then an alarm sounded somewhere in the distance and the building shook.

"I have a bad feeling." Jinx whispered, breaking the tense silence. Mickey grabbed Jinx and pulled her down beneath the desk and held her beneath her and just in time. There was no alert, no warning sound, just a fiery explosion that lit up the room before the building collapsed in on itself and there was nothing but darkness.

Dianne Hendricks walked toward the employee entrance of Refuge and stared at the door and the small keypad that would grant her entry. She had thought about breaking into this building about ten thousand times but hadn't ever actually considered she would end up here one day to do just that.

"I hope you're as good at this stuff as you claim to be." Dianne whispered as she stared down at the small USB device in her hand. Tony had given it to her before she'd left for the airport. He said something about Jarvis, talking about it like it was a human being who would help her, and then assured her that there was no lock he couldn't crack; electronic or not. She sure hoped Jarvis wasn't code for some kind of explosive, that would be terrifying.

Then again, he said this would get her into Scarlett's computer systems too so she wondered if perhaps Jarvis was code for some kind of program he'd whipped up. He _was_ Tony Stark after all. Searching the side of the keypad she found nowhere to insert the device so instead she plugged it into the bottom of her phone, just on a hunch. At once her screen was completely controlled by something else and doing things she never knew it was capable of.

"Mrs. Hendricks?"

"Uh… yes?" She scoffed as her phone spoke to her in a charming British accent.

"My name is Jarvis. If you would hold me close to the lock I will get you inside."

"You're… Jarvis?"

"Just a Rather Very Intelligent System."

"Cute."

"I tend to agree. Now if you could."

"Oh, yeah." Dianne scoffed and then held up the phone close to the keypad and winced. "Is… is this good?"

"Perfect, Mrs. Hendricks."

She held the phone and watched as the keypad lit up without so much as a touch and then it glowed red and blinked.

"Well, this is rather unexpected." Jarvis spoke and Dianne turned the phone back to face her. "I cannot seem to hack through Miss Damien's security to login as her. Is there perhaps another employee we could use to grant us access? A name would help but is not required."

"Oh she has this adorable receptionist… Julianna Bennett, I think her name was. I remembered because it was as cute as she was. She has these crazy eyes, I'll never forget it. Reads these really smutty novels. Recommended one to me on my way out last time I got to interview Miss Damien. It was some real harlequin level stuff."

"Thank you for the helpful information, Mrs. Hendricks." Jarvis silenced once again and the keypad glowed blue and for a moment it blinked red and then chimed pleasantly and the door snapped unlocked.

"Welcome, Miss Bennett." A pleasant voice greeted her from seemingly everywhere. Dianne slowly pushed the door open and stepped inside the building.

"I've elected to keep the lights off as I need a higher clearance to operate through most of security. Given that Miss Bennett is Miss Damien's personal secretary it appears you can access an elevator to the highest level. You cannot, however, access Miss Damien's office."

"You really can't get through it?"

"I would require Mr. Stark's assistance to break through the complex security measures she has set up. He would be impressed."

"Hell, I'm impressed. He seemed so confident."

"Don't rub it in his face, he doesn't like that." Jarvis scanned the building as they walked. "If you cannot find any information of value in Miss Bennett's personal files then perhaps we can see if there are any clues on how to access Miss Damien's office. Even if you are able to remove her hard drive to transfer back to Mr. Stark then we can make some headway."

"This went from breaking and entering to stealing very quickly."

"Don't worry, all blame will fall on Mr. Stark if you are caught. He's a man of his word."

"I trust you." Dianne stalled and looked around the maze like pathways of Refuge, feeling wrong for breaking into the building and going behind Scarlett's back. Maybe this was the wrong way to go about this. She thought back to her conversation with Tony and knew that he had strong feelings for her, but this was perhaps not the best foundation to build a relationship on. Still, she wanted to help and if it meant she had to get her hands a little dirty in order to do that, then she was willing.

Sometimes to beat the bad guys some rules had to be broken. Dianne knew that better than anyone. She was an advocate of peace, of privacy, but she knew very well that just because she was it didn't mean that everyone else was too. She knew very well that Scarlett was in no way always a woman of peace. From what she could put together with the information provided, Scarlett was very much of the same mind set. Sometimes in order to do some good, some wicked must also be done.

"Mrs. Hendricks, do you have a family?" Jarvis asked as the elevator came to a stop at the top floor of the Refuge building.

"I do, husband and two kids." She smiled to herself. "Both little girls and both trouble. I hope they grow up to be as much trouble as I am."

"That's very sweet."

"Why'd you ask, Jarvis?"

"Ah, I am not used to dealing with people in stable relationships and I was merely curious."

Dianne laughed and then walked around the desk at the end of the room near the double doors that led into Scarlett's formidable office. She sat behind the desk and adjusted the chair before searching for the computer to flip on.

"I'm at a loss, Jarvis…"

"Allow me."

Dianne placed her phone on the desk and was amazed when the screen to the left came alive without any assistance.

"It appears that the computers here are quite sophisticated."

"Seeing as I can't even find a computer."

"The hard drives are all locked away and accessed independently from each system wirelessly through a secure network only accessible by Refuge employees."

"Does that mean we can get to Scarlett's files from here, maybe?"

"It appears that she is the only employee who is not connected to this system."

"What?"

"She has access to all of it but her files are not in the hard drives. I have already scanned most of the information. Why don't you start going through Miss Bennett's information while I search around?"

"Okay, I can do that." Dianne was out of her league and she knew it. Jarvis did too. Her laptop barely worked half the time and her phone was two generations too old. She couldn't even play Candy Crush Saga properly on it most days. She was more of an old school reporter, or at least that's what she considered herself instead of the truth which was that she was technologically challenged.

Prying through folders and files, Dianne was relieved when nothing else was locked up. Whatever security had been protecting Miss Bennett's files had already been broken through thanks to Jarvis. It saved her any further embarrassing questions.

"Wait… S.H.I.E.L.D.?" Dianne wiped her hand over her mouth and leaned back in the chair. She knew that Scarlett was involved with S.H.I.E.L.D. and all reports and speculation led her to believe that she was seeing a S.H.I.E.L.D. doctor for something or another. That was the extent to which Dianne had been aware of her involvement with S.H.I.E.L.D.

Sure, no one was every simply involved with S.H.I.E.L.D. for something small, but health reasons seemed like more than enough.

"Miss Bennett is actually a S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent who goes by the codename Jinx? She exchanges a lot of very silly emails with another S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent. This one I'm more familiar with. She meets with Scarlett every few weeks. Agent Michelangela Pierce. I can't piece together what they actually do for S.H.I.E.L.D. but it appears they are very close." Dianne hit a button in her pocket and recorded her voice so that any further thoughts wouldn't escape her if she had to recount them later to Tony.

"Refuge's files are very interesting but not in the way that we would hope. Miss Damien has a rather impressive future ahead of her." Jarvis spoke and the screen of Dianne's phone blinked blue pleasantly.

"Oh… oh, maybe not." Dianne grimaced as she came across a series of files transported between another S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent and Miss Bennett. "Oh no, Jarvis…"

"Allow me to look." The screen manipulated without Dianne's help and the files spread across the screen, locking into place, faster than Dianne could actually read through them.

"Oh no, she's sick… I mean I knew something was wrong but…" Dianne placed her hand over her mouth as she read a rather upsetting email from Jinx to Mickey, expressing her worry.

"From the information I have gathered personally on Miss Damien I would say that this all adds up. Her health is in great decline. If it continues this rapidly…"

"She's dying." Dianne whispered and felt her eyes water. "I can't stay here. This is terrible. Gather what you can and then let's get out of here. I'm going to be sick." Dianne stood up. Jarvis hummed a pleasant blue from her phone but then one by one files on the screen that Dianne had been working through disappeared.

"Alert." Jarvis' voice spoke and his screen glowed red. "Intruder. You are not alone, Mrs. Hendricks. Leave me and go. Take the path through the front door. Break through the door and set off the alarms if need be."

Dianne didn't waste a second but she didn't leave Jarvis. She grabbed him and shoved him in her pocket. Over the last half an hour she had gotten oddly attached to the computer. Sirens blasted overhead and the floor suddenly glowed red beneath Dianne's feet and she crouched low in a panic.

"Files are disappearing from Refuge's internal hard drives. Miss Hendricks, something terrible is happening."

"Jarvis, call the police!" Dianne whispered and hurried down the stairs, afraid of getting stuck in the elevator if something went wrong. Sure enough even the emergency lights that had begun to glow failed and an eerie hum faded out into silence. The floor shook and Dianne could hear Jarvis alerting the police of an incident at the Refuge building but it would be the last thing that Dianne ever heard.

In a flash of fire and shrapnel the Refuge building crumbled to the ground. Hundreds of tons of steel and stone collapsed on top of Dianne Hendricks, killing her in an instant.


	52. Inevitability

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this was worth waiting for 52 chapters, lol. Always feel awkward posting thiiiis so I'll just leave it here. Thank you for reading <3

Never had Tony Stark been more grateful for Scarlett than in the moments where he'd soared out of the fiery explosion that lit up the California night sky. If she hadn't helped him with the complications he'd had with the Mark XLII he would have never made it out of there alive.

_Scarlett._

Tony knew he very likely required medical attention, he _knew_ he needed to talk to S.H.I.E.L.D., he needed… something. He knew all of that very well.

What he _really_ needed was Scarlett. 

Mikhail's cryptic words repeated through his thoughts over and over again. _By the time he understood it would be too late._ What did that mean? He hadn't had the time to really reflect on that information, not until he found himself piloting toward Scarlett's loft near the beach without truly thinking. He needed to see her face, to touch her, to get the truth out of her if it was the last thing he did.

This time he wouldn't leave even if she begged him to, not until she'd told him everything there was to tell. A mixture of anger and sorrow flooded through him and made his hands tremble. He urged the Mark XLII faster through the sky, rocketing like a bullet, spinning artfully as he did.

"Mr. Stark, I recommend charting a course to the hospital. You've take quite a bit more damage that I initially calculated."

"Nope." Tony muttered. He would go if Scarlett made him but right now he needed to be wherever she was, as selfish a notion as that was. He'd wasted enough time by himself. If she was out of time then he wanted to be with her through the time that was left. "Not doing a damn thing, not until I know she's okay, Jarvis."

"Mr. Stark you are bleeding rather freely."

Tony blinked as he felt the blood dripping down his forehead and then guided the Mark XLII through the sky, the beach finally looming on the horizon.

"Jarvis, you heard him didn't you? Russian guy said she's already dead and I can't let that be true, okay?"

"Yes, Mr. Stark. I understand. I will monitor your health and unless it's required I will not push it again."

"Thank you."

"Please make sure Miss Damien is all right." Jarvis spoke quietly and Tony couldn't help but smile a little bit. With a crash, Tony clattered to the ground, both fists on the ground in Scarlett's driveway, cracking the stone beneath him. Standing upright he retracted the suit which opened around him and stepped out of it gracefully but then stumbled. His legs felt like jelly for a brief moment. The impact of the explosion had done a number to his muscles.

Walking up the driveway Tony had about a thousand different questions running through his mind for Scarlett. What was wrong with her? Why would someone from MedCo tell him she was dying? They wouldn't even make a deal for her! What had she done to deserve this fate? It was time for her to be completely honest with him. He knew about MedCo, he knew about her involvement in S.H.I.E.L.D., he even knew about Scott. Granted, there was very little he knew about Scott but he sure knew about him thanks to Mrs. Hendricks.

Worse than all of these things, Tony knew that something was very wrong with Scarlett and it scared the hell out of him. He was scared for her. For himself. For them. As he walked up to the door it opened before he got to it. Scarlett held a peculiar weapon in her right hand, a half built mechanical glove and aimed it toward Tony. Upon seeing him there she lowered her hand and then dropped the weapon on the table nearby.

"Tony?" She turned pale at the sight of him. "Oh my god, what happened to you?" She stepped barefoot through the door, grabbed his arm and tilted his head from side to side before wiping the blood from his forehead. Her hands were shaking and she looked immediately guilt ridden.

Tony grabbed her hand to stop her and she shooed him away. He had all these questions, these complex thoughts, endlessly repeating in his mind but now that he saw her there with such worry on her face he couldn't bring himself to voice any of these questions. She was talking to him, worriedly, and dragging him inside the loft past the door. Very slowly he followed along but just barely.

"What happened? God, where do I even start?" Scarlett lifted his arm and grimaced as she watched blood drip from his bicep. "Tony?" She hoped he would respond but he just stared at her, his brown eyes dripping with emotion he wouldn't express. Still, she was struck by them. Tony was scared, scared because he was confused. He had no idea what was going on and she had gotten him involved in this chaos without warning him. How selfish of her it had been not to tell him! Worse, she'd thrown him right into the maw of the monster by getting so close to him. How could she be so awful? So selfish? Sometimes she was sure that she was the terrible woman Natasha had made her out to be.

"I'm so sorry, Tony." She whispered then picked up both his hands. Still he just stared at her, the thousands of questions very much on the tip of his tongue. But something else was suddenly very much more important. 

_She was just as scared as he was._

Scarlett let go of his hands and pushed her hair back as she hurried through the living room and into the kitchen. Reaching under the cabinet she found the first aid kit and placed it onto the counter with trembling hands. Opening it she dropped a few of the bottles within and cursed. Leaning over she hurriedly picked them up but then dropped them again.

"Fuck it." Getting up, Scarlett grabbed a few bandages and a bottle of antiseptic before hurrying to where Tony stood still in her doorway. "Just… just stay still, okay?" But still Tony didn't say anything to her, he just stared and watched her in amazement, in absolute awe of the panic that was ripe in her voice. "I should have never…" Shaking her head, Scarlett took his hand and checked his bloodied knuckles. Staring up at him for a moment she didn't know where to begin but the guilt hung off of her more visibly than it ever had.

Tony opened his mouth to speak but stopped as she reached to wipe at the wound on his forehead. She pulled away with nothing but blood and turned away from him. What had happened to him? Why wasn't he saying anything? Clearing her throat and turning back, Scarlett wiped again at his forehead and found the wound. It wasn't terribly deep thank goodness for that and it didn't require stitches but judging by the sight of him and his behavior she worried he may have a concussion. This was the longest, outside of sleeping, that she had heard Tony Stark silent.

"I'm sorry." With shaking hands she wiped again at the spot against his forehead, reaching up with her free hand to push his hair away so she could better examine the wound. Standing up on her bare tip toes she bit her lip and winced at the sight of it. "No stitches here, still let me…"

As she reached to push his hair aside to see the wound a bit better Tony grabbed her wrist and stopped her. Gently he urged her arm down but didn't let go of her. Now was his chance! He had to ask her. She was vulnerable, she was guilty, but there was something even more important to him just about her demeanor. Scarlett fluttered her eyelashes but it wasn't what struck Tony, it was that he could have sworn she was doing so to bat away tears. In that moment the frustration he had with her, with her dishonesty, with the secrets she hid melted away.

She worried because part of her cared so deeply for Tony that she was terrified that something would happen to him. It wasn't the same kind of worry that Pepper had for him when she was scared as he risked his life to be Iron Man. This was different. Something was different but Tony couldn't have possibly pinpointed what it was. After a moment spent watching him and seeing that his eyes were clear, that his pupils were reacting normally she took a deep breath.

"Please, Tony." Scarlett whispered softly, no longer trying to pull her wrist free of his grip. Tony shifted his hand into hers and pulled it close against his reactor before moistening his lips. "Please let me take care of you. It's the least I can do." For all Scarlett knew what had happened to Tony had nothing to do with her but the odds weren't in her favor. 

It was like reality snapped back into place for Tony, something that once moved in slow motion, the woman he had only observed since he'd landed at her front door suddenly caught back up in the moment in a hazy blur. Letting go of her hand he watched her move to care for him but instead he grabbed her arm gruffly and pushed her against the wall next to the door. The table nearby shook and a set of keys clattered to the ground.

Scarlett went to say something, to ask if he was all right, but Tony's hand touched the side of her neck. For a moment he held her there, against the wall before taking a step closer, only inches left between them. His fingers, skin broken from battle, brushed down her neck. He tilted his head to watch his hands before his gaze trailed to her lips, then back to those deep blue eyes, grayed with worry and whatever else she hid from him.

Closing her eyes Scarlett felt the touch of his scarred hands, up across her neck, tilting her head back as his fingers traveled along the length of her jaw. His thumb traced over her lower lip, to the corner of her mouth. A soft breath escaped her lips instead of words. Opening her eyes she tilted her head back down but Tony didn't pull his hand away. For the first time in a very long time Scarlett didn't know what to do. Her gut, her instincts were telling her to take care of Tony, to tell him the truth but his big brown eyes were staring at her, a far different plan in mind.

As her lips parted to speak, Tony's thumb silenced any objections she might have had. It slipped past her lips, tasting of dirt and blood. Her eyes fluttered closed as her lips closed around his thumb and Tony sharply inhaled as he watched her, not daring to blink in case he missed a moment of what her rose red lips might do. Carefully, slowly, she bit down on his thumb and Tony's insides at once lurched.

He felt invincible. It didn't matter that he was bleeding, that he'd been threatened or shot at. With Scarlett, Tony was invincible. Laying the rest of his fingers against her jaw one by one, he leaned her head back against the wall and slipped his thumb further into her mouth. Her fingers gripped his shirt near his stomach and he stepped closer, so close that he was almost pressed against her, almost. So close, yet still so far away. Her fingers brushed over his sides, slowly up and then back down. A tear in his shirt tickled her fingertips and she searched silently for a wound beneath.

Hands beneath his shirt, she found it, a messy splatter of dried blood spread over his side, fresh blood still dripping downward. It had partially closed on its own but had nowhere near the care it required. Tony winced and pulls his thumb from between her lips at once. His eyes flickered to where her hand brushed over the wound, a wound he hadn't even noticed in the heat of the moment. Pain radiated through his side but Tony didn't recoil. No, instead he let out a low groan and felt that already tight knot in the pit of his stomach pull even tighter.

Gripping her jaw, Tony grabbed Scarlett and pulled her away from the wall, just far enough so that he could find her lips with ease. His lips pressed against hers roughly and parted at once. Scarlett swore something inside of her broke. Her grip on his flesh tightened and she tilted her head to return that kiss, her lips still sore from the memory of kisses he'd stolen days before. For a moment, they sat lips locked, kissing, holding each other as if time had stopped entirely for their stolen kiss. Her heart physically _hurt_ , nearly stopping in his chest as her lips nervously met his time and again.

Scarlett wasn't pushing him away, though she hadn't the last time either, not until she couldn't breathe and had nearly collapsed into unconsciousness in front of him. Every moment he had with Scarlett, every second he had, was valuable and Tony wouldn't waste another second of it. Scarlett leaned up on her toes, her hand slipping away from his side to grab his shoulder so she could kiss him more deeply, more passionately. The part of Scarlett that had convinced herself she didn't deserve this was temporarily silenced. His scruff brushed against her lips with each missed kiss but the scratch of it sent chills down her spine, made her breath quicken.

Once she shivered, she couldn't stop, it was like each kiss, each touch sent lightning coursing through her every nerve. Her fingers numbed, she _had_ to touch him, he was the only thing worth feeling. Arms slipping around his shoulders, Scarlett stepped away from the wall and parted her lips, biting roughly on Tony's lower one. With a groan Tony pushed Scarlett back, hard against the wall with a thud. A soft sound of approval came from Scarlett as she tried to push back and Tony shoved again to keep her at the wall. His tongue moved over her lower lip, before lips wrapped around it and he sucked for just a moment. Then his tongue snaked into her mouth and she opened wider to kiss him though she pushed just enough away from the wall to antagonize him and his ploy for dominance.

Greedily Tony moved his hands down her arms and then over her sides, the cloth of her soft shirt catching on his sore fingers. As she arched her back into his touch, Tony pressed her back against the wall once more and then ran his fingers over her chest, squeezing roughly even through the shirt. The moan that he felt pass through her gave him the shivers. He couldn't help but smirk, even as they kissed. Scarlett gripped at his hair, feeling the curve of his lips change and offered him a playful bite before kissing him once more, first peppering small kisses over his lower lip before engulfing his lips with hers.

Tony grabbed handfuls of her shirt and pulled it up, his fingers slipping beneath on her flat stomach and pushing until his fingertips felt the lace of her bra. Her fingers left their grip on his hair, traveled down his neck and then pulled at his shirt just as he had done for her. Tony pulled from her lips, far enough away from her body to reach down for the bottom of his shirt and pull it up and over his head, off of his arms then threw it to the floor.

Bloodied, sweaty, scraped up and dirty Scarlett tilted her head to the side and let her mouth hang open as she eyed the well defined body of a man she had desired for far too long. Her mouth suddenly went dry but she stopped and bit her lip when she saw the wound on his side with her own eyes and the sore reddish tint on his stomach where he'd taken some kind of blow. She was left with a confusing mixture of guilt and attraction. On one hand it was so damn sexy to see him scuffed up, war torn, and on the other hand she knew deep down the pain he had gone through had ultimately been her fault.

Tony saw the change in her eyes, from carnal to emotional and placed his hands on either side of her against the wall. Her eyes turned away from his stomach at once, but not before following their trail from his stomach, to his chest, his reactor, and then stopping to meet his brown eyes and they weren't filled with regret, anger, anything, just lust. Briefly he took her in, illuminated by the light of his reactor, the blue of her eyes only intensified by its similar hue. Leaning close, he let his forehead rest against hers and while his breath was tight in his chest and he was physically in need for her, he just watched the emotion pass through her eyes.

He bet that she fancied herself stone faced, that she was sure no one could read her but Tony saw through the veil she hung for others to hide her emotions, he saw what they were saying loud and clear. She wanted him, more than her fear, more than her guilt, Scarlett _wanted_ this moment as badly as Tony did.

Tucking her messy, curly hair behind her ear, Tony rested his hand next to her on the wall and kissed her once again passionately, intensely. Scarlett returned the gesture, tilting her head but then pulled from his lips, barely.

"Tony…" She began, her lips gently brushing against his as she spoke, with every intention to mention the wound she'd found, to make sure that he was all right. But Tony had reached the point of no return. He would have no more of her apologies, no more asking how he was. That was the last thing on his mind. Allowing his hands to brush down her sides, he grabbed her hips and lifted her up against the wall then urged her legs around him and she tightened them in place. "Tony!" She reiterated, mostly to try and get his attention but he pressed her against the wall and tilted her chin up to him.

"Unless you're following that with a moan of pleasure it can wait, Scarlett." He spoke quietly and for the first time in a long time, Tony saw Scarlett smile. She parted her lips to speak once more and Tony spoke louder. "What did I just say?" This time she laughed and leaned her head back against the wall then gave him a silent nod. Tony bridged the gap between them, unable to hide his own smile, resting his hand against the wall as he kissed her, overwhelming her lips with his own, messy, and passionately.

His hand slowly crept down her side and around until he grabbed her backside, pulling her legs tighter around his middle. Scarlett pulled from his lips and kissed over his neck, purposely gripping his hair tight to make him tilt his head back. Her teeth playfully gnashed at the scruff there. His hands slipped over the lining of her pants, creeping beneath the soft comfortable fabric, resting firmly against her ass as he pulled her close, urging her hips to rock against his.

Slowly her lips traveled over his shoulder, leaving the occasional nip at his flesh and down over his chest until her lips brushed against the metallic reactor in his chest. She flitted her gaze up to meet his for a brief moment as she allowed her lips to press against the blue light. Tony's mouth hung open in a groan before he urged her shoulders back hard against the wall.

He pulled at her shirt and slid it over her sides and she raised her arms up to help him pull it away. Tossing it carelessly aside, Tony wasted no time touching the bare skin of her sides, her stomach, her chest before allowing his fingers to admire the lace of her bra. " _Finally,_ " he muttered, pushing her breasts together and leaning to kiss over her chest, his tongue dipping between the cleavage he'd created. One hand pushed the bra strap down her shoulder while the other moved down her side to the lining of her pants.

His fingers touched something surprisingly prickly and sharp. Stitches. Tony stopped dead in his tracks and averted his gaze back to hers. That was the wound he'd sewn up, he remembered it very vividly and it had haunted him on several occasions since that day. This was not the work he had done. It looked as though it had been torn open, made worse, and put back together. His stomach suddenly twisted into knots for a very different reason.

Scarlett touched his cheek and shook her head. If she wasn't going to stop then neither was he. They needed this. They _deserved_ this. Even if it all went to hell afterward, they deserved this moment together. Her legs relaxed around him a little and she grabbed him gruffly by the shoulders and pulled his chest to press against hers, holding him close while she kissed him passionately, leaning her head away from the wall as she did.

Tony returned the kiss, but for a brief second he hesitated, he felt nervous to touch her. Where his hands had once been greedy, they now moved cautiously over her stomach, her chest. She wasn't going to have that, not at all. Tracing her nails down his back she felt him arch into her touch and press her harder against the wall, then placed both hands firmly against his ass and pulled his hips right up against hers. Through his jeans she could feel his arousal, thick, begging to be free of the uncomfortably tight denim.

With a low groan against her lips, Tony returned to his senses. There would be plenty of time to talk, now was the time for action. She hadn't even winced when he'd accidentally touched the stitches, she was fine.

"Scarlett, _god…_ " Tony groaned, urging his hips to rock against hers, his hand pulling her thigh tighter against him, pressing his fingers hard as he moved. Kissing slowly down her neck and over to the strap of her bra, he bit at it and urged it aside, then kissed the skin that had once been beneath it. Playfully he brushed his tongue over her skin, pale, pristine, perfect. Then he sucked softly on her skin, brushing his tongue there and playing with it at first. He sucked harder, hard enough so that he would leave a mark there, a mark that he knew would make her think of him every time she felt the strap of her bra rub against it.

Scarlett leaned her head to the side, waiting for him to pull the strap of her bra down further and when she realized what he was doing, smacked his ass and hard to reprimand him. Moaning in surprise, Tony bucked his hips so hard against hers that a gasp escaped her lips and she grit her teeth as her hips twitched in retaliation. She squirmed against the wall, surprised at just how sensitive she'd become to his every touch.

Smirking against her shoulder, Tony cocked a curious eyebrow and then chuckled as his lips left a wet trail of kisses up her neck. Placing his hand against the wall to brace himself he purposely bucked his hips against hers, grinding against her, feeling how her stomach tensed and the way her body writhed. With a soft groan, Scarlett let her fingers trail down his stomach, over his happy trail, and tugged on the front of his jeans. Tony stiffened up and gripped tightly at her backside, urging her to rock against him still.

Nimble fingers unbuttoned his jeans but Tony's hand moved up her back and urged her to arch, leaning away from the wall. Leaning her head back Scarlett closed her eyes as Tony shifted against her. Gripping at the denim of his jeans, Scarlett gasped as Tony urged his hips to rock against hers, holding her back firmly to urge her to move with him though she needed no urging. Her hips twitched in response, she tightened her legs around him, a soft sound of pleasure slipping free of her lips. Tony groaned low as he kissed over her neck, sucking on her skin.

"Fuck…" Scarlett murmured, getting shivers down her spine as the scruff from his goatee scraped against her neck. She could feel his every movement, his every urging, deep in her core, her entire body warm with excitement. His fingers brushed down her back and pulled at the pants she wore, soft, black, no buttons. They pulled a little bit, it wasn't enough, he needed to set her down to get them off. Cursing under his breath, he looked back up at Scarlett who bit her bottom lip. "Need help?"

Tony nodded, he was worried conversation would ruin the moment, would end all that they'd built up and in that passionate moment he was desperate to get what he'd been dreaming of for so long. But instead the sound of her voice, in as dire straits as he was sure his own was, made his heart beat faster. She slipped from his arms, gingerly placing her feet to the ground where she pushed down the comfortable pants, stepping out of them with ease. Standing back upright, Tony placed his hand against the side of her neck, brushed it up to her jaw and pushed her curly hair away from her face and breathed out a heavy sigh.

"Goddamn." Tony looked her over from head to toe in admiration before leaning closer to her. Slowly his lips captured hers, just brushing against them for a brief moment. Scarlett caught a brief hint of the cologne he had almost always worn when they were together, beneath the sweat, the metallic scent the armor he'd likely worn had left. For a second they lingered there, holding each other in that temporary bliss of a kiss. If Scarlett had to pick a single moment to stay in for the rest of her days from her extraordinary life, it would have been that one. It was perfect. No one was worrying about who was going to stop them, who would be cheating, what secrets lay outside this singular, perfect moment.

A tender, soft, romantic kiss quickly became passionate, fiery, intense. Tony pulled her away from the wall, pressing her chest against hers, letting his hands greedily explore her back, aching to memorize the body he had dreamt about so many times. Reaching around her, he made to pick her up and Scarlett at once grabbed his wrist and pulled his hand away with surprising force. Tony pulled from her lips and cocked an eyebrow in surprise, glancing from his hand back to her lips and then down at her near naked form.

"You have no idea how hot that is." Tony smirked and Scarlett couldn't help but roll her eyes at him but also laughed under her breath. "No laughing, I'm serious!"

Scarlett laughed anyway and pulled his hand to her lips and kissed over the back of it. She liked that he made her laugh, even in the most intimate of moments. Letting go of his wrist she guided it gently to her hip and then leaned close and kissed just next to his arc reactor, allowing her fingers to slowly brush over his defined, bruised stomach, through his happy trail to the jeans she had unbuttoned and tugged the zipper down.

Tony played with her hair, pushing it over her shoulder as he watched her. Her lips let a warm, wet trail of kisses over his abdomen. Crouching slowly she let her tongue brush over his muscular definition, over the dip in his hip just above his jeans. Tony shuddered as a groan passed his lips. At last she pulled his jeans down and he both kicked off his shoes and socks then stepped out of them. Settling down on her knees, Scarlett tugged at his boxer briefs roughly with a smirk and stared up at him confidently. The cloth elastic band caught against his length and he groaned in frustration and bit his lip.

"Tease…" He moaned in frustration but also couldn't help but laugh under his breath.

"I don't know. Seems stuck." Scarlett batted her eyelashes playfully. "Wonder _why_ …" Tony tilted her chin up toward him and looked to her very seriously.

"You know why."

"Maybe don't wear such tight jeans or something."

"Are you actually complaining?"

"…no." Scarlett considered this. She did very much enjoy watching him walk away. She then pulled at the elastic of his boxer briefs before pulling them away and allowing them to drop around his ankles once he was free of them. Tony inhaled sharply as her fingers crept slowly over his sensitive inner thighs. Gripping her hair he closed his eyes as he felt her surprisingly delicate fingers wrap around his length. She watched his face as she stroked him, her thumb brushing over the very tip of his arousal. Then she closed her eyes and leaned close, letting her lips kiss over his inner thigh, feeling the heat radiating off of him.

Tony forced his eyes open, he had to watch because for a brief moment he couldn't believe this wasn't just a really vivid dream he'd imagined up in a moment of unconsciousness. Gripping tighter at her hair, Tony unconsciously pulled her up a bit, trying to urge her lips closer to his length. Leaning away from his thighs, she adjusted herself on her knees and fingers still wrapped around his shaft, thumb pressing against him she allowed her lips to come dangerously close. Pursing them she then blew playfully at the tip of him. Tony groaned and shivered, his grip relaxing and then tightening in her messy locks.

"Fuck, fuck, _fuck…_ " Tony's usually honey colored eyes were dark and filled with lust but he couldn't help but be pleased that after how long they waited for this moment neither one of them rushed it.

"Patience…" She whispered in retaliation and Tony grumbled something about how patient he's been but all words and cognitive thought disappeared from his mind as her lips wrapped around the tip of him. She sucked on just that very tip, tilting her head to the side, her tongue swirling there before she took him in entirely. Tony's eyes couldn't stay open, they instantly flutter closed. The feel of her lips wrapped around him was almost too much to bear. It took all of his strength not to move his hips with the way she moved. At first she took him in slowly, and then faster. He'd been dying for this moment since the first time he'd shared drinks with her. It'd be a lie to say any of his thoughts had been pure since their meeting.

In the same breath, with his eyes closed, he could hear nothing but the groans she made against him as she moved, the way that her nails traced over his thighs and gave him chills all the way down his spine. Eyes closed he could picture her face, head leaned back in ecstasy, back arched with pleasure, pleasure he'd dreamt of showing her for so long. Scarlett pulled away and let her tongue brush over the length of him before stroking him between her fingers for a brief moment before taking him in her mouth again. She could feel his body twitch, her own body aching as she brought him closer and closer to that moment of pleasure.

"God, that's so fucking good." Tony's voice melted into a low groan and he gripped her hair tighter, forcing his eyes open to watch her perfect red lips wrapped around him. Slowly he urged his hips to move, he couldn't help it, every part of him needed more. "Fuck…" Each move of his hips, of her lips wrapped around him he groaned.

He was so close, not much longer now.

"No, no, no." Tony muttered and then cursed himself mentally. "Stop, stop…" Tony gripped her hair and forced the lump in the back of his throat down and the grip of pleasure so tense in his core to lessen. Scarlett did as she was asked, pulling her lips away, licking away that bitterness from the very tip of him. Her fingers still brushed over his inner thigh and she watched him, waiting for what came next. Forcing slow, deep breaths, Tony wiped his hand over his mouth before shaking his head. "Want more than that." He muttered, stupidly. Scarlett smiled, surprised that he wasn't letting her give him the pleasure she thought he had more than earned. "But we're coming back to that later."

"Was that a fucking _pun?_ " Scarlett bit her lip and stifled a laugh though her own breathing was still haggard and for once not from illness. Tony tilted his head to the side and smirked.

"Not on purpose. But I'll stand by it." Taking her hand away from his thigh, Tony pulled her to her feet and urged her hand to his chest, to rest over the arc reactor within. Then he slipped his arm around her and kissed her deeply, despite where her lips had just been. He loved that she had been willing to get on her knees for him, just to see his face in ecstasy but he'd waited too long to make it about that. It had _always_ been give and take with Scarlett and Tony felt he was already guilty of taking more than he'd given. This was something he _knew_ he could give. 

Pulling away from her lips, grabbing her wrist again, Tony spun her around and pushed her chest first against the wall. Brushing her hair over her shoulders he kissed slowly over the back of her neck. His fingers brushed over her sides and down to her hips that he pulled away from the wall, urging them to rock against him. One hand against the wall, the other at her hips, he rocked against her slowly, already over stimulated. Gripping at the wall, Scarlett urged her hips back against his. They were so close to skin on skin, Tony could feel her warm and wet through her panties. Slipping his hand from around her waist, he urged his fingers to crawl over her stomach, over her panties, between her thighs, rubbing his fingers over her concealed opening.

"As much as I love, _love_ the idea of you on your knees… I've been dreaming of you for way too long." Tony's lips brushed over the rim of her ear before giving it a playful bite. "The sounds you'll make… wrapped around my name…" His lips trailed down her neck and with a grunt he urged his hips again against hers from behind. Fingers slipped beneath her panties, his fingers brushing over her nimbly. Instantly Scarlett tensed up, the bundle of nerves sensitive and aching with need. Her back arched and she gripped at the wall and then reached behind her to pull at his hair, to keep his lips against her neck.

Her other hand crept over his arm and held gently over the forearm of his hand that stroked over her, one finger brushing against her clit. Gasping, she then grit her teeth and groaned softly as he slipped a finger inside of her. She was practically throbbing with need. Skillfully his fingers moved over her, against her, inside her, pushing her body to the veritable edge before slowing down to bring her back down with it.

Scarlett curled her toes against the floor and bowed her forehead against the wall, gripping at his wrist, his hair, her senses alight with fire and desperation. Tony's hot breath was filled with small grunts and groans as he continued to rock his hips against hers, to listen to the beautiful sounds she made when she was so at his mercy. Then he stopped as her nails dug at his wrist. He couldn't take it anymore, they'd had enough foreplay, Tony needed her now.

He pulled at the lining of her panties and dragged them down her thighs before allowing them to drop where she shimmied them off the remainder of the way. Just as she let go of his hair, Tony turned her to face him. At once he lifted her into his arms and urged her legs around him, pressing her back against the wall.

He wouldn't wait, he wouldn't condescendingly ask if this was what she wanted. They both knew exactly what they wanted. Reaching between them, he adjusted himself before pressing just against her opening for a brief moment. Glancing up at her face again, he watched her expression change as he pushed inside of her. Scarlett gripped at his back and her mouth hung open and a soft sound, almost like a coo of pleasure passed through her lips. It tickled Tony deep in his core to hear such an amazing, surprisingly sweet sound come from her.

Her fingers slowly moved up his neck and into his hair as Tony continued that push until she'd taken him in entirely, resting his hips against hers, pushing her hard against the wall, holding her there. Tilting her face up to his, Tony watched her as she breathed heavily and her body adjusted to him before he urged her close to his lips to kiss passionately, desperately. His heart was beating so hard in his chest he swore that his damn reactor was going to catch fire.

Scarlett pulled back from his lips, just barely, studying his face, seeing the way he twitched just enough as he made to pull back and then again inside of her, starting a slow, steady rhythm. She could feel every bit of him, every movement, every motion magnified within her already incredibly aroused form. Her fingers traced over his jaw, up over his cheekbones and to his forehead where the blood dripped from the wound at his hairline. 

In her heart she knew why he came to her that night. He hadn't come to pick her up, to make love to her. Tony had come there for answers. Something terrible had happened to him and instead of interrogating her, assaulting her with angry and accusatory words he had picked her up, treated her with respect and passion. While she knew in her heart of hearts what she should have done, she didn't regret a thing. What would be different if she hadn't had that coughing fit in her kitchen the day before? In that moment as she watched his face in pleasure, as he bit his lip and watched in return, staring into her contemplative blue eyes, she wished she hadn't wasted a single moment with him.

Tony Stark was so much more than she had ever expected. He pushed into her in a slow rhythm and she rocked her hips with his, to build that pleasure between them. The air between them was so thick neither one of them could properly breathe. Tony urged his fingers over her arm and up her shoulder, pushing the strap of her bra away as he leaned to kiss over her chest. Scarlett tilted her head back as she felt his scruff purposely brush over her, close to the lining of her bra. Then she purposely tilted his chin up, urging his lips back to hers. Tony grabbed her hand away from his face as he kissed her, urging his fingers around her wrist and pressing it against the wall, above her head.

Holding it there he bucked his hips against hers, a groan escaping his lips with every thrust. Keeping his hips steady against hers for a moment Tony urged himself in quicker, deeper, shorter motions.

"Fuck, Tony…" Scarlett felt her voice break as she pulled from his lips to try and catch her breath but there was no such thing, not in this moment. Oxygen was in short supply. All she could breathe, smell, hear, taste, was Tony. He kissed over her chin and beneath it, over her neck. "Tony…" Purposely she spoke and he practically purred as he felt her voice reverberate through her voice box. 

Urging his hand between her breasts, over her stomach, and between her thighs, he could feel the way her stomach tensed, the way her thighs were twitching, so close to that elusive end. She gripped at his wrist to pull his hand back but he wouldn't budge, his fingers brushing over her clit again. That was it, it was the very end for Scarlett. Her body resisted for all but a moment before she had to lean her head back against the wall and cry out in pleasure.

"Oh, god! Oh…" She gasped and cooed, arching her back, her face red from the heat of pleasure as Tony touched her in all the right ways, urging his hips to push inside of her all the while he could feel how her very insides twitched and ached with orgasm.

"That's it… fuck…" Tony watched her in awe, his own body aching so close to orgasm for so long that he swore to god he was going to explode then and there. But he didn't, he bit his tongue, held out, brushed his hand over her and just as he felt her slowing down pushed his hips harder against hers before he moved to kiss her again. His hand slipped away from her and he urged it to the wall as he felt that proverbial dam break. "Scarlett, god…." His lips missed hers and he bit her bottom lip instead as his hips bucked hard against hers when he felt that pleasure overwhelm him, hot and messy between them.

Scarlett brushed shaky fingers through his hair and pulled him close to keep his lips pressed to hers, to trap him there in that moment. Tony rocked against her, his motions quick, short. His arm snaked around her, holding her body close against his as he thrust through his climax. His lips meshed with hers, sneaking in labored breaths between kisses. She urged her hips shakily and slowly against his as he continued to move until he was sure that their pleasure had faded. They sat there motionless, kissing for a long moment afterward.

Scarlett had to pull away to breathe, she _had_ to. The air was too thick, her lungs were aching and while she had been able to ignore it for her more carnal desires, she no longer could, not without the world becoming hazy around her. Tony pulled away carefully but then rested his hips flat against hers, leaning her against the wall still. His fingers brushed over her sweaty face, moving stray curly hairs aside. He had so much to say, more to say than he was sure he had ever had to say in his life and that was saying something since Tony was very rarely caught quiet.

Watching her strained breathing, he thought of how to begin, where to begin after what they'd done. Scarlett turned her attention back to him at last, having eased the pain in her chest just enough for the time being. Gently she placed her finger to his lips to stop him as he finally went to speak. He swallowed the lump that had once again grown in his throat. Scarlett leaned close and kissed him again to silence him. That same excitement bubbled inside of him as her lips tenderly engulfed his, guiding him in a kiss that they had both so clearly longed for. Even after all was said and done, that electricity still poured through him. For awhile they kissed, holding each other, savoring the moment as their sweat dried, their bodies calmed.

Tony brushed his hands over her sides, took in her half naked body eagerly, memorizing every scar, every curve. Resting his hand against her hip, Tony finally pulled away from her lips, not letting her go and he wouldn't, not for the rest of his life if he could help it.

Scarlett leaned heavily against the wall and brushed her fingers over the wound on his forehead. Moistening her lips she tilted her head curiously, trying to decide how bad it was, if he needed stitches or more attention than she was able to provide. Tony swatted her hand away from his forehead but she pushed his hand away and continued. He grabbed her wrist and stopped her again.

"I'm fine."

"You're not fine. You're bleeding."

Tony grabbed her jaw and forced her to look up at him, to make direct eye contact with him. For a moment they stayed silent as she stared into his eyes. "See? I'm fine." He spoke gently, sure that she was searching for proof of a concussion. "I'm really fine." He at least hoped he was fine. If she hadn't seen a blown pupil he was sure he was okay. For a second she nodded and then turned her gaze away. She was pale. Scarlett's skin was usually a lovely olive tone but today she was pale and he had noticed her growing paler with time. Her cheeks, however, were a lovely tint of pink and while the rosiness that had spread over them while they'd made love was fading it was still endearing. "You're beautiful." It wasn't what he had meant to say but it was what came out.

"Tony…" Scarlett smiled softly. "Flattery is very sweet but you should… let me take care of you. Please."

"No! No, I'm really fine." Tony chuckled and held up his hand in objection. "Trust me, I'm actually feeling better than I have in a really long time. No joke, I was so sexually repressed between everything with Pepper and then… all of you just existing out of reach. You have no idea how great I feel after finally getting to… you know." Tony nodded to her and Scarlett chuckled.

"Oh, really? I'm pretty sure I have a decent idea of how good it felt."

"I bet you do." Tony smirked with a throaty chuckle. "Seriously though, I'm fine." He touched over her side and then rested his hand flat against her chest, between her breasts and looked into now grayish blue eyes. "I'm far more concerned about you than I am about a few scrapes and bruises."

Scarlett turned away, her entire demeanor at once changing. She stiffened up and pressed her lips flat together. Gently he urged her to look back up at him by her chin. He wanted to finally ask her what was wrong with her, what had happened to her to get her to this point. Finally he would ask her to be completely honest with him for the first time since they met no matter how difficult it might be for her to say and for him to hear. Instead, Tony kissed her gently and held her close.

"That doesn't matter." He whispered against her lips. "Not now." Slipping his hands beneath her, Tony pulled Scarlett away from the wall and carried her through her living room and toward the bedroom at the back of the loft. It was dark but he didn't bother with lights as he gently set her down on the messy bed. Pushing her gently back he crawled over her and stared down as her sad eyes sparkled even in the darkness of her room. Her hair was wild all around her and her breathing was struggled, but she was perfect to him in that moment.

His lips found hers again. Tony had waited this long for the truth, waited this long to be with her as desperately as he had wanted to be for so long. Now that he had her, he wouldn't waste a single moment of it. If there wasn't much time left he wasn't going to waste a moment of what could be spent making love to her all night long.


End file.
